Going through pregnancy is an emotionally and physically challenging time. When carrying a new life inside of you causes sudden bouts of sickness, cravings and tears, it’s important to have a strong, helping hand to grip onto. And these men have stepped up to the role with everything they’ve got.
@penny4yourtweet on Twitter asked mothers to share the outstanding times that men helped them during and after their pregnancy, and Bored Panda has collected the best ones. From ensuring those specific cravings are satisfied, to going above and beyond to make women feel special about their bodies, here are the most heartwarming picks from the thread.
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Bored Panda spoke with Abigail Burd, a perinatal psychotherapist and the author of The Postpartum Depression Workbook. She works with both new mothers and their partners to help manage the transition of becoming parents. Her online course, ‘Relationships After Baby’, provides great information on how you can support your partner and keep your relationship strong during pregnancy, postpartum and whilst parenting.
Abigail told us about what she sees most in her line of work. She said, “The most common complication of childbirth is the negative effect on mental health. Before the pandemic, one in five women experienced postpartum depression and even more dealt with postpartum anxiety. These rates are even higher for women of color and LGBTQIA+ birthers, and are still elevated for all throughout the pandemic.”
The pandemic was especially challenging for new and soon-to-be mothers. Not only did they have to manage their health whilst looking after their children, but they also had the constant stress of avoiding the life-threatening COVID-19.
A study was completed by the University of Southern California on the impact of social distancing and lockdowns for expectant mothers. Taking place between April and July of 2020, this was the time that the first major wave hit the United States and the resulting restrictions started.
The study found that these women reported significantly higher levels of psychological stress, loneliness and other behavioural changes. From over 600 mothers answering a questionnaire used to help diagnose depression, 50% reported clinically significant symptoms of it. From this, 23% were considered mildly depressed, 17% were moderately, and 20% were severely depressed.
Remind me how this is your business again...? Oh right, it's not.
Load More Replies...He cared for his wife instead of the new car, and cleaned it up without freaking out or anything, and went to take care of the wife afterward
Load More Replies...Whilst depression makes it harder to ask for help (and even realize that you need help), Abigail highlighted the fact that mothers can’t do everything on their own as it is, anyway.
“So many of us think that we are supposed to do everything,” she said. “Taking care of a baby is a full-time job. More than full-time. Think of a typical 8-hour work shift. We expect new parents to do three back-to-back shifts (because it's 24 hours per day) seven days per week. How is that sustainable?“
She shared her advice on how mothers can reassess their situation to make it more manageable with their partners or otherwise. She explained, “I recommend sitting down sometime when you are on the better side of rested and fed, and write a list of all that has to get done and all the people that you could ask to help.”
Abigail left us with her statement and advice for mothers and those supporting them: “I firmly believe a mother shouldn't do it all. But I also think there is simply too much for a couple to do alone, either. Yes, ask your partner, but look outside the relationship to who could be a part of your support village. This is the season of your life to ask for help and receive it. It is not sustainable or realistic to do it all.”
At the end of my pregnancy I decided to take a bath, because I felt like that. Luckily, my tub was big enough for me to fit in, but not enough to let me roll on the side. So at the end of my spa-time, I realized that I can't get out, so I had to shout to my husband, and ask his help to pull me up and help me to get out of the tub :D
Somehow... This should be normal and not exceptional. So far, the other posts were a bit more exceptional and over caring. This sound like she did all the hard work but this once he took some on him. I know that might not be the case, and ofcourse being late for work is unacceptable in some cultures/jobs. But still this one feels a bit ... meh
Military plane: think the back of a giant fed ex cargo plane. Very loud, you sit “backwards” so the sensations of take off etc are very weird. There aren’t any stewards or drink carts. No frills at all. I can’t imagine flying military standby pregnant with morning sickness. Oh, bad cabin pressure too so your ears hurt unless you are constantly chewing gum. (Unless military planes have changed in the last 30 years)
Load More Replies...maybe a military plane wouldn't have barf bags or anywhere else to throw up? that's what i assumed, but i really don't know
Load More Replies...When I first started dating my now husband, I tried to go jogging with him (that hasn't worked out--jogging is not for me, for many various reasons) and all my outdoor allergies started hitting me horribly (probably worse because I was breathing heavier due to jogging!)--my nose was running horribly, and he offered me his shirt to blow my nose in! I didn't though.. somehow I made it home to blow my nose using actual tissues. 🤣
That special time with his son will be even more precious to him one day. Kids grow up fast
My husband did the same. When taking care of a new born baby that extra sleep really helps.
Totally unncessary comment. He wasn't JUST parenting. He was helping his wife get more sleep while sacrificing his own. Under normal circumstances, this is VERY unusual. So yes, this man deserves some credit.
Load More Replies...To carry any person up and down stairs every day for months is quite a task. What a loving husband. He probably is incredibly strong after all of that too, I have a hard time doing push ups, this guy carried a human around and up and down stairs for months.
There is a condition called SPD which causes the ligaments in the pelvis to relax too early in the pregnancy. The worst cases result in the woman needing to use sticks, crutches or even a wheelchair. I had it with both my pregnancies but never that bad.
Load More Replies...You are lucky, my family would not do a thing to help me.
Load More Replies...She probably can't answer that, as she doesn't know how painful the labour would have been with or without it.
Load More Replies...As someone with Crohn's, I'm in awe of that man. Stress can set of a flare and I honestly don't know how he managed it. The pain of trying not to go, has left me doubled over in pain.
Where does it say that the wife asked him to do that?!
Load More Replies...She's n labour, howis that being selfish? He chose to stay by his wife's side.
Load More Replies...For a slipped disc? That is like putting a band aid on a bullet wound...
Load More Replies...3 kids? That's ok if someone want's it. Just as fine as to have one or no kids at all. Don't judge people.
Load More Replies...My father did something similar. We just got a new kid a month or so ago, and he just went above and beyond to help my mother with him(my new brother). Diaper changes, holding him when he's cranky, taking him as long as physically possible so my mom could get some rest, and even taking care of the 4 other kids who are below 10. It was really sweet.
That's not above and beyond. That's parenting. What is wrong with these comments??? Caring for the person you love is normal. Participating in parental duties is normal. This is nothing special.
Load More Replies...Well, its not like the sleep they have now is gonna be saved up for the time the baby comes. I find it really nice that she wouldnt have to be alone awake if she needs him. He obviously want to be a part of what she's going through and she lets him.
Load More Replies...Maybe it's me, but: You are both parents. One of you doesn't get to choose if she wants to be there, trauma or not. As far as I am concerned, that means the other better swing his ass into the drama, too.
Laura, there are some men who simply cannot handle that. And personally? If my husband was going to puke, faint, or whatever, during labour, I'd rather he not be there. I'm strong enough to handle it if he isn't.
Load More Replies...These are the kind of men that mothers can have full faith in. The mothers can go out or have a nap, feeling comfortable that the men will take good care of their babies. While the actual pregnancy is 100% down to the mother, parenthood should be 50/50.
I was afraid of being in labor for endless hours. When the doctor said I was not progressing in dilating and my water had not broken, he said we could go for a walk as it may help progress things along. My husband said "Let's take the stairs" helping me with every step (3 flights) and took the elevator down. We were only gone for 30 minutes, but when we got back, the doctor said "Wow...did you go jogging? You're almost ready!" Sweet! After my son was born, my husband said "Cafeteria is closed. What would you like me to get you to eat." I forgot I hadn't eaten for 16 hours. I said Cheeseburger. He got it, pizza and a couple of bottles of Gatorade because he knew I was dehydrated. He sat with me until midnight eating and whispering until they brought another new mom in our room. Her husband couldn't be there so we shared our pizza with her.
After having a preemie (who did much better than I did; I had severe complications) my man (her daddy) was so loving and patient with me, I had to use a walker for a couple of weeks after I was finally released from the hospital, one evening (pretty sure it was Thanksgiving) we went to the NICU to see our baby I was making my way down the hall ever so slowly and had to stop and rest on a bench a couple of times but he stayed next to me and was just so loving and understanding.
During my labour for our first child I had been labouring for 44 hours and was utterly exhausted. I was told it was my last few minutes before they took me to theatre. My husband took my hand and I honestly felt like he’d given me his strength. I managed to deliver her without intervention, which I’d been very scared of. It sounds silly, but I know without him I couldn’t have done it.
My husband who had never even held a baby before we had one turned out to be a complete rockstar dad. What he didn't know how to do, he asked to learn from myself or read about it online. He'd do night feedings so I could rest, all of it. I'm so grateful to him.
Ladies this is what the father of your baby is meant to do. These men are not special. The patriarchy is just s**t. Is a man meant for get mad at you cuz you had morning sickness in the car? Women clean crap and make food every day around the world. I see a lot of "my dad" and "my brother" here.
These are the kind of men that mothers can have full faith in. The mothers can go out or have a nap, feeling comfortable that the men will take good care of their babies. While the actual pregnancy is 100% down to the mother, parenthood should be 50/50.
I was afraid of being in labor for endless hours. When the doctor said I was not progressing in dilating and my water had not broken, he said we could go for a walk as it may help progress things along. My husband said "Let's take the stairs" helping me with every step (3 flights) and took the elevator down. We were only gone for 30 minutes, but when we got back, the doctor said "Wow...did you go jogging? You're almost ready!" Sweet! After my son was born, my husband said "Cafeteria is closed. What would you like me to get you to eat." I forgot I hadn't eaten for 16 hours. I said Cheeseburger. He got it, pizza and a couple of bottles of Gatorade because he knew I was dehydrated. He sat with me until midnight eating and whispering until they brought another new mom in our room. Her husband couldn't be there so we shared our pizza with her.
After having a preemie (who did much better than I did; I had severe complications) my man (her daddy) was so loving and patient with me, I had to use a walker for a couple of weeks after I was finally released from the hospital, one evening (pretty sure it was Thanksgiving) we went to the NICU to see our baby I was making my way down the hall ever so slowly and had to stop and rest on a bench a couple of times but he stayed next to me and was just so loving and understanding.
During my labour for our first child I had been labouring for 44 hours and was utterly exhausted. I was told it was my last few minutes before they took me to theatre. My husband took my hand and I honestly felt like he’d given me his strength. I managed to deliver her without intervention, which I’d been very scared of. It sounds silly, but I know without him I couldn’t have done it.
My husband who had never even held a baby before we had one turned out to be a complete rockstar dad. What he didn't know how to do, he asked to learn from myself or read about it online. He'd do night feedings so I could rest, all of it. I'm so grateful to him.
Ladies this is what the father of your baby is meant to do. These men are not special. The patriarchy is just s**t. Is a man meant for get mad at you cuz you had morning sickness in the car? Women clean crap and make food every day around the world. I see a lot of "my dad" and "my brother" here.
