312 Epic Tweets By Women That Made The Whole Internet Laugh Out Loud

Haha.. thats funny :)

Awe that's really sweet of him! :)

is this the snake from the 'Black' album from metallica? he's famous!!!

I’m with ya. I could probably power the world

hahaha, this needs to be further up

Saaaame

Moral: Always get a Second Opinion.

i love it great idea

lol :DDDD

Love it.

My boyfriend would make a picture and send it to me via WhatsApp. 😊

Im sure they have something wrong with those light, I feel human&then look in the mirrors when Im out,&I know Im a Martian! :((

Yeah, or buy a big dildo in a transparent bag and take a picture of your husband's face!

Or an older one, who scream at you in an old and forgotten language! (F'tagn, Shub'Niggurate...!)

They even managed to work Phelps into discussions at the winter Olympics... though they spent a LOT of time on Lindsay Vonn... mostly trying to make her cry.

I wonder if that happens to other people or if it it happens to her often

That’s me right there

also true with mushrooms

Donald's trash?

My Crush texts : Hi; Me: On Amazon start searching "wedding suits".

My hubs was in the National Guard and his group would practice recon in the S.C. swamps with 100% accuracy. Ask him to get old blankets and drop them off at Goodwill and he doesn't know where the spare closet is!

Flexible Response: always keep 'em guessing. 00-Yep-5a9...f54e71.gif

It always helps to get something off your chest.

In my 50's I wish I was as fat as I was in my 40's.

smart....

Focus on the pockets hahahaha yes!

story of my life

But what was his answer? xD''

Me: Anxious, faster, and pretending to tolerate other humans.

My baby cousin said she wants to be a dinosaur. Same though...

Honestly I didn't think I'd see it in my lifetime. Please make it last!

lmao

Good tip for cases of halloween party

Why is this one not at the top???

Awwwww that's cute

Google Earth... Hey, Look, the neighbors got a new puppy... Experienced Introvert.

This. So much, this.

Ariana thinking..... "how did I end up with these people"

*Sent at 8:23!!

😂😨😂 Right above the dogs nose... His black marks are shaped like .. Nevermind, y'all will see it 😂

There are men who will be so sensitive that they'll emotionally accuse a woman of being too emotional and unstable.

He was willing to THROW AWAY PIZZA for you? He's a keeper, then. Or mentally unstable.

OMFG YESS there's still a 19 cent pay gap!!!!!1

The one on the right looks like a bar bouncer.

XD

Sad she thinks she has to have make up on to be seen...

This one is poetry. I like it.

Seriously, how hard is it to keep your hands to yourself? That's, like, 90% of what they teach in kindergarten.

That little drumstick is too cute.

When she finds out abt it, her husband would actually be playing the game of Life and Death.

literally just laughed out loud by myself at work - people are going to think i'm nuts

for guys it mostly a pint of beer

I dont know why but I read this in an irish accent XD

lol

i want to give it to someone now lol

I did that all the time. Made me feel like Batman.

this right here tho

When you already told them earlier.

They are so stingy with the samples that you get when you order online from Sephora. That is if you even recieve the samples lol

Not to mention that piece of a*s can be positive while half-a*s is negative. Saw that on 9-gag today: https://9gag.com/gag/aPjBNmB

Ahh, sweet Facebook memories... ;)

lol

Ahahahahahaha... <3