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Ladies, let's be real with one another. Whether you're walking down the street, dancing at a bar, or browsing online, creepy people somehow always feel the need to bring their unwanted sexual innuendos into your day. Ignoring the creeps and walking away is one option. Burning them so bad with the best comebacks that they run off crying to tell their mom is another.
With this list, we're giving you an entire arsenal of firepower to whip out the next time that guy you went on one date with suddenly asks for a sexting session. Or that guy you've been 'sort of' texting gets a little sexual predator-y vibe with his emojis. Or that guy you literally just said 'hi' to wants to know what you would do if you were with him right now. These losers aren't very original, are they?
Scroll down to see the comebacks of the century, and don't forget to vote for the ones that you'll be mentally noting for future use if an unexpected sexting message reaches you.
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
You Get What You Ask For
RELATED:
#2
Why Would I Do That
#3
Have A Good Day
#5
Thanks, But No
#7
Here Are Your Nudes
#9
Hi, Trumpet
#10
Practical Comeback
#13
Don't Flatter Yourself
#15
The Moon
#16
Funny Comebacks
#17
Revealing Enough?
Anna Thouvenin 8 years ago
I used to chat with a guy who also loved exchanging pics, somehow. Once he asked me to show some parts of myself. He asked for "anything" so I sent a pic of my hand. He spent days talking about how perfect my hand is. What a weirdo.
#18
Did You Fall From Heaven?
#19
Just No
#20
Bamboozled
#21
Fav Position
#23
Ok Cool
Master Markus 8 years ago
Yeah, I really feel like being "okay with dating plus-sized women" would go without saying if she is a large woman you're attempting to date. No need to pat yourself on the back for it.
#24
Do You Know What It Is?
#25
Why Are We In The Kitchen
#28
Funny Comebacks
#29
A Good Looking Couple
#30
A Proper Answer
Vlad Horobet 8 years ago
This is the opposite of the word Sex from a form where smart a*s people write "twice a day"...
#31
Amnesia
#32
Pythagoras's Theorem
#33
You've Deflated My Ego
#34
I Bet
#35
Getting My Sleep
#37
Savage Comebacks
#38
Nope, Thanks
#40
Stick To Your Mum
#41
Taking Souls
Friedlander Rosenzweig 8 years ago
T.j. Is quite the charmer, huh! Who would hook up with this moron?
#43
You're*
#45
Lacks Dolphins
#46
Nice Observation
#47
Enough Said
#48
Favorite Jokes
#50
How Many Bones?
#51
Funny Women Comebacks
#52
Thoughts On Cannibalism
#53
Funny Women Comebacks
#54
Funny Women Comebacks
Tiny Dynamine 8 years ago
15 years old? I wonder how much money he has while still being illegal for sex.
#55
Funny Women Comebacks
Arielle PW 8 years ago
I'd have to ask why he's wearing my clothes now.. I just washed them, jerk.
#56
Funny Women Comebacks
#57
Funny Women Comebacks
#58
Funny Women Comebacks
#59
Funny Women Comebacks
#60
Funny Women Comebacks
Sherri Mantooth Bagwell 8 years ago
Proving one night of sex can haunt you for the next 18yrs!
#61
Funny Women Comebacks
Neeraj Jha 8 years ago
I imagined that last comment in Simon Cowell's voice and his rolling eyes expression
#62
Funny Women Comebacks
#63
Funny Women Comebacks
Santino Aznar 8 years ago
WHAT???? THAT iS JUsT SOoO DUMB!!! WHYY!??!!? CAn'T YOU AT LEAST START A CONVERSaTiON WITH A GREETING!?!? OR IS THAT THE NEW FoRM OF GREETING THESE DAYS!?!?
#64
Funny Women Comebacks
#65
Funny Women Comebacks
#66
Funny Women Comebacks
Master Markus 8 years ago
Unfortunately no, it wouldn't lower his testosterone levels and make him less of a d**k, but he would HAVE less of a d**k!
#67
Funny Women Comebacks
#68
Funny Women Comebacks
#69
Funny Women Comebacks
#72
Funny Women Comebacks
#73
Funny Women Comebacks
#74
Funny Women Comebacks
Willie D'Kay 8 years ago
I just love when people throw out feeble insults that burn themselves too.
#75
Funny Women Comebacks
Lisa Atchley 8 years ago
Actually, this is the first one that made me burst out laughing...glad I made it to the way, way back of this post.
#76
Funny Women Comebacks
Zenozenobee 8 years ago
Hey, he waited until his second line! Some do not seems that chivalrous
#77
Funny Women Comebacks
#78
Funny Women Comebacks
Christian Sunde 8 years ago
not sure how this is sexting. wildest desire could be anything from bungee jumping to travel the world, or swim with dolphins, and much more.
#79
Funny Women Comebacks
#80
Funny Women Comebacks
#81
Funny Women Comebacks
#82
Funny Women Comebacks
Tiny Dynamine 8 years ago
Very clever how the third line was 'are you a girl?' An advanced level of logical thinking.
#83
Funny Women Comebacks
#84
Funny Women Comebacks
Willie D'Kay 8 years ago
Why does getting turned down in a very non-insulting way nearly ALWAYS end with "You're a b***h"?
#85
Funny Women Comebacks
Willie D'Kay 8 years ago
Psh, that gives him too much credit. Let's go with a small caliber pistol.
#86
Funny Women Comebacks
Santino Aznar 8 years ago
Do these people expect to get anywhere with such forward and unintelligent remarks?
#87
Funny Women Comebacks
#88
Funny Women Comebacks
#89
Funny Women Comebacks
#91
Funny Women Comebacks
#92
Funny Women Comebacks
Tanya Kysel'ova 8 years ago
this is soo irritating to hear of wet staff in between the talk of long working day when u r heck soo tired and let it know to a person. really. he tried to be nice but at once like "I am nice! Pay me off! Get wet for me!". If he were cleverer, he would understand that she didn't like him from the beginning, for a woman never replies like that to a person she likes. In this case we see why)
#93
Funny Women Comebacks
#94
Funny Women Comebacks
#95
Funny Women Comebacks
#96
Funny Women Comebacks
Willie D'Kay 8 years ago
I always wondered where the logic of slang such as "horny" originated from. It just seems to have no connection or relevance.
#97
Funny Women Comebacks
#99
Funny Women Comebacks
Adriana E. Henricy 8 years ago
that question makes so little sense. Like, is there a guide for it? LEVEL 1: kissing, LEVEL 2: missionary, etc etc???
#101
Funny Women Comebacks
#102
Funny Women Comebacks
Willie D'Kay 8 years ago
While his requirement isn't unreasonable, being clean can't be the only reason to love to be her boyfriend. And what has he even said about himself and what he brings to the table? It's not often I hear someone say "riddled with". I love it.
#103
Funny Women Comebacks
#104
Funny Women Comebacks
#105
Funny Women Comebacks
#106
Funny Women Comebacks
#107
Funny Women Comebacks
#109
Funny Women Comebacks
Mark Dickinson 8 years ago
throw that idiot overboard and listen to him scream
Load More Replies...
#110
Funny Women Comebacks
Willie D'Kay 8 years ago
The saddest part of this for me is that it looks like he already has a girlfriend in his picture.
#111
Funny Women Comebacks
#113
Funny Women Comebacks
#114
Funny Women Comebacks
#115
Funny Women Comebacks
#116
Funny Women Comebacks
#117
Funny Women Comebacks
M O'Connell 8 years ago
If you had the Chipotle first, it would certainly make things more interesting, lol.
#118
Funny Women Comebacks
Santino Aznar 8 years ago
Damn, whyyyyyy. That's just sooo stupid. Talking like that and if she doesn't respond the way you want her to, you say something insulting.
#119
Funny Women Comebacks
#120
Funny Women Comebacks
Joseph Bills 7 years ago
Oh come one, this one was actually kinda clever, not overtly creepy, and self-aware at how terrible most pick up lines are.
#121
Funny Women Comebacks
#123
Funny Women Comebacks
#124
Funny Women Comebacks
#125
Funny Women Comebacks
Santino Aznar 8 years ago
Why do people talk like this? It doesn't sound cool, isn't correct, and isn't even hot. Why? Baby is not a word to end all sentences with!
#126
Funny Women Comebacks
#127
Funny Women Comebacks
#128
Funny Women Comebacks
#130
Funny Women Comebacks
Willie D'Kay 8 years ago
What lies do they teach you boys when they separate the boys from the girls to go have their different health classes? Most of us of the female persuasion don't care that much about size. It's the skills that pay the bills.
#132
Funny Women Comebacks
#133
Funny Women Comebacks
#134
Funny Women Comebacks
Willie D'Kay 8 years ago
The word cleavage made me think that the word cleave is a contronym that means to separate and to put together. Yeah, just going off on weird tangents like some of these smart girls.
#135
Funny Women Comebacks
Lianita Tugotone 8 years ago
Hey don't judge the guy, it is not his fault. His parents are obviously siblings.
#137
Funny Women Comebacks
#138
Funny Women Comebacks
#139
Funny Women Comebacks
#140
Funny Women Comebacks
Mark Dickinson 8 years ago
My sister once had a creep like this on her Tinder. She asked for him to send her a pic. He did. She replied "Here's a picture of a Boob" and sent his picture back to him.
#141
Funny Women Comebacks
Willie D'Kay 8 years ago
As long as she's not eating Doritos in bed. All that powder and crumbs would be a nightmare. Other than that, her priorities are spot on.
#142
Funny Women Comebacks
Willie D'Kay 8 years ago
But what if they were equally epic like pictures of kittens playing table tennis????
#143
Funny Women Comebacks
#144
Funny Women Comebacks
#145
Funny Women Comebacks
#146
Funny Women Comebacks
#147
Funny Women Comebacks
#148
Funny Women Comebacks
Claire Cover 7 years ago
Have him buy you a bra then dump him cause bras are flipping expensive!
#149
Funny Women Comebacks
#150
Funny Women Comebacks
Willie D'Kay 8 years ago
I was going to say a working woman IS super sexy but then I thought, why is she making personal texts on company time?
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What do you think ?
Tiny Dynamine 8 years ago
It always shocks me at how socially inept anyone can be. Have these people no insight into the working of human interaction?
Rich McCormick 8 years ago
Gay men, like myself, have had to endure all that s**t too... men are just about sex and food and farting allot of the times.... so shallow. I loved all of these come backs and TRUST when I say if there were cell phones and apps back when I was young I would have been just as ruthless! lmao
Olli Westphal 8 years ago
I'm really curious if there actually are women out there who genuinely respond to these individuals with said nudes or request.
Ben Smith 8 years ago
There definitely are...but they might not always be the type of woman you'd want to take home to mom. Then again, the guys sending those requests probably aren't either.
Load More Replies...
Allie Orona 8 years ago
Because it's prominent in my life, I'm so damn sick of how people treat other people like sexual objects, with only the intention of sex. I am not a sex object. We are not sexual objects. We are all human being with complex minds and hearts and souls and sex alone is not going to fulfill that complexity.
Jonathan Eatsalot 8 years ago
Wow, the internet brings adults together.............and then turns them back into children
Eric Sandberg 8 years ago
Yes. I've had a couple of exes ask for some while dating. I can't say I've ever had one requested before hooking up, though.
Load More Replies... Ben Smith 8 years ago
Most of these aren't really "savage." Many are funny, but I can guarantee that most of the men sending the messages didn't lose any sleep over the replies. The internet is just the new "singles bar." Men play the odds...in a bar, maybe they could hit on 10 or 15 women in a night and hope for one woman to respond positively. Now, men can send out dozens or hundreds of messages, so the odds are much better that they'll find that one positive response. So, yeah, these are funny, but A) they didn't do anything to discourage the senders and B) I'd be interested in seeing the responses that were positive because you know there were a few...
Franco Zargoza 6 years ago
I was talking to this girl and I told her this joke. I said, "I have a joke about my d**k, but it's too long." After about five seconds while I was laughing hard, she replied, "Funny. I have a joke about my vjj, but you won't get it." Smart girl!
Jessica Van Arneman 8 years ago
Stupid questions/ remarks, witty answers /comebacks. Plain simple
Jà Çàntstàndyàbitz 8 years ago
Always something funny when we're with bored panda.... Lucky to have discovered this.
Monika Przymuszala 8 years ago
Why the hell would they want to. Cos every woman loves to be chatted up with some perverty message from a loser who obviously isn't doing that well in his sex life- he needs to harass strangers. Not to mention most of the 'chat lines are just low and very desperate...
Load More Replies...
Monika Przymuszala 8 years ago
S****y women? But the d***s being disrespectful is ok? I'm guessing that there won't be much savage comebacks since they don't use their brain too often...
Load More Replies...
Tiny Dynamine 8 years ago
It always shocks me at how socially inept anyone can be. Have these people no insight into the working of human interaction?
Rich McCormick 8 years ago
Gay men, like myself, have had to endure all that s**t too... men are just about sex and food and farting allot of the times.... so shallow. I loved all of these come backs and TRUST when I say if there were cell phones and apps back when I was young I would have been just as ruthless! lmao
Olli Westphal 8 years ago
I'm really curious if there actually are women out there who genuinely respond to these individuals with said nudes or request.
Ben Smith 8 years ago
There definitely are...but they might not always be the type of woman you'd want to take home to mom. Then again, the guys sending those requests probably aren't either.
Load More Replies... Allie Orona 8 years ago
Because it's prominent in my life, I'm so damn sick of how people treat other people like sexual objects, with only the intention of sex. I am not a sex object. We are not sexual objects. We are all human being with complex minds and hearts and souls and sex alone is not going to fulfill that complexity.
Jonathan Eatsalot 8 years ago
Wow, the internet brings adults together.............and then turns them back into children
Eric Sandberg 8 years ago
Yes. I've had a couple of exes ask for some while dating. I can't say I've ever had one requested before hooking up, though.
Load More Replies... Ben Smith 8 years ago
Most of these aren't really "savage." Many are funny, but I can guarantee that most of the men sending the messages didn't lose any sleep over the replies. The internet is just the new "singles bar." Men play the odds...in a bar, maybe they could hit on 10 or 15 women in a night and hope for one woman to respond positively. Now, men can send out dozens or hundreds of messages, so the odds are much better that they'll find that one positive response. So, yeah, these are funny, but A) they didn't do anything to discourage the senders and B) I'd be interested in seeing the responses that were positive because you know there were a few...
Franco Zargoza 6 years ago
I was talking to this girl and I told her this joke. I said, "I have a joke about my d**k, but it's too long." After about five seconds while I was laughing hard, she replied, "Funny. I have a joke about my vjj, but you won't get it." Smart girl!
Jessica Van Arneman 8 years ago
Stupid questions/ remarks, witty answers /comebacks. Plain simple
Jà Çàntstàndyàbitz 8 years ago
Always something funny when we're with bored panda.... Lucky to have discovered this.
Monika Przymuszala 8 years ago
Why the hell would they want to. Cos every woman loves to be chatted up with some perverty message from a loser who obviously isn't doing that well in his sex life- he needs to harass strangers. Not to mention most of the 'chat lines are just low and very desperate...
Load More Replies... Monika Przymuszala 8 years ago
S****y women? But the d***s being disrespectful is ok? I'm guessing that there won't be much savage comebacks since they don't use their brain too often...
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