ADVERTISEMENT

Deep down, many people feel like they could actually make it as a comedian. While this is a widely misguided concept for the majority of the population, a simple scroll through the comments section on a random post will show that there is a lot of untapped talent out there. 

The “Murdered By Words” Instagram page gathers the hilarious and sometimes savage comments people have left under other people’s posts. So get comfortable as you read through, upvote your favorites and maybe try your own hand in the comments section below. 

More info: Instagram

RELATED:
    #3

    Funny-Witty-Comebacks

    m******dbywords Report

    Littleminnow1
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    isnt nateral selection supposed to work now

    View more comments

    While we do think of comment sections as an innovation of the Internet age, in one form or another, they have existed since at least the 1500s. In what now we would call Germany, it was common practice (at least among the literate) to “post” one’s ideas in public places, often to literal posts.

    ADVERTISEMENT

    The most famous example of this is probably Martin Luther's Ninety-five Theses, nailed to the door of the All Saints' Church in Wittenberg, Saxony-Anhalt, Germany in 1517. Of course, this would only be the practice of people who could read and write and had the time and resources to buy parchment and ink. The internet is ultimately the tool that brought mass commenting to the majority of the population.

    #4

    Funny-Witty-Comebacks

    m******dbywords Report

    lily jones
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Good thing he has a bottle of water sitting right there on the table, he'll need it for that burn

    View more comments
    #5

    Funny-Witty-Comebacks

    m******dbywords Report

    sadmrguna
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Gah! This one annoys me sooo much. The purpose of masks is not to protect the wearer, but the people around the wearer. I suppose that explains why selfish people mostly don't wear them...

    View more comments
    ADVERTISEMENT
    ADVERTISEMENT

    While internet forums are generally older, the first “comments section,” as we might call it these days was created in 1998, for the digital edition of The Rocky Mountain News. This publication was a real trailblazer, as it also featured one of the first “advice” columns, where readers could ask questions. 

    #7

    Funny-Witty-Comebacks

    m******dbywords Report

    Astro
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    And the angrier and more frustrated we all get.

    View more comments
    ADVERTISEMENT
    ADVERTISEMENT

    This, perhaps, is what inspired them to open up the publication to reader comments, as a means of creating engagement and loyalty. This practice would soon become the norm, as newspapers, magazines, fan pages, and the first attempts at social media all began allowing people to share their thoughts on a post, article, or page.

    #10

    Funny-Witty-Comebacks

    m******dbywords Report

    Bob Brooce
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It's not the first time something like that happened, and often the victim thinks the undamaged bible is proof of god.

    View more comments
    #11

    Funny-Witty-Comebacks

    m******dbywords Report

    Astro
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    So what does bronze mean 💀

    View more comments
    #12

    Funny-Witty-Comebacks

    m******dbywords Report

    lily jones
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    She might wanna jump in the ocean to get some water on that burn (sorry I promise I'll stop now)

    View more comments
    ADVERTISEMENT

    Now, comment sections are so common that there are entire genres of content based on asking for interactions. From posts that are just questions, to people “selecting” things from “what house you prefer” to favorite brunch items, people do love to share their two cents. This has spawned an entire cottage industry, like the list here, of finding and sharing the best comments.

    ADVERTISEMENT
    #14

    Funny-Witty-Comebacks

    m******dbywords , twitter.com Report

    Bear Hall
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Sad, very sad when a culture, a whole nation just disappears, dissolves, and all is left a sappy story with a grain of truth in the middle. And the genes of the people unrecognizable for the eye.

    View more comments
    #15

    Funny-Witty-Comebacks

    m******dbywords Report

    LauraDragonWench
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Knew it had to happen eventually. Gun control? No f*****g way! More taxes? Hell yeah!

    View more comments
    ADVERTISEMENT

    Indeed, if something has the option to add comments explicitly turned off, most people immediately wonder what exactly happened here. From trolling, and cyberbullying to intensely heated discussions, the anonymity of the internet often doesn’t exactly make for the most civil posts on controversial topics. 

    #16

    Funny-Witty-Comebacks

    m******dbywords Report

    Willem Andries Oosterhof
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    And how does that work for the rest of wildlife on God's created earth??!

    View more comments
    #17

    Funny-Witty-Comebacks

    m******dbywords Report

    Malek Basata
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    They need to be in prison, cooking for prisoners

    View more comments
    ADVERTISEMENT
    #18

    Funny-Witty-Comebacks

    m******dbywords Report

    BrownTabby
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Memo to US restaurants: Apologies for not being clearer when I said you need to “fücking communicate”. If you’re not willing to say what that commenter said, at least say “in the USA we pay our servers $2.something per hour and the tip is to cover the rest of their pay.” If tourists call you barbaric for that, remember that locals also call you barbaric for it. :)

    View more comments

    A number of media outlets have actually closed down their comment sections over the last few years for these reasons. Vice Media closed theirs in 2016, as did NPR. IMDB closed their discussion boards (but not user reviews) a year later. In all of these cases, difficulty with moderation was the number one issue. 

    ADVERTISEMENT
    #19

    Funny-Witty-Comebacks

    m******dbywords Report

    Two_rolling_black_eyes
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Plan A is to save the bees. However, Plan A isn't going very well. Plan B (or Bee) is what you come up with as a crappy alternative in case the main one completely fails. Someone has to make the survival nutrition bars in case a hurricane shows up before a hurricane shows up. Someone needs to figure out a work around in case all the bees die before all the bees die.

    View more comments
    ADVERTISEMENT

    Moderation is a tricky subject because the entire point of a comments section is to share a diverse set of opinions. After all, if literally everyone believed the same thing, there would be no need for anything but the initial post. However, as it so often happens, a small group of people can ruin things for the rest of us. 

    ADVERTISEMENT
    #22

    Funny-Witty-Comebacks

    m******dbywords Report

    Sawdust
    Community Member
    1 year ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Save yourself some money and buy a one-way ticket.

    View more comments
    #23

    Funny-Witty-Comebacks

    m******dbywords , twitter.com Report

    Astro
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    $9125 is a quarter a day for exactly 100 years.

    View more comments
    #24

    Funny-Witty-Comebacks

    m******dbywords Report

    Malek Basata
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    9th century Saxons have pathetic heat endurance skills compared to 7th century Bedouins

    View more comments

    Research suggests that people who feel that their opinion is already widely supported tend to stay silent and often don’t even look at comments. This is perhaps why comment sections on any debatable topic can look so extreme, it’s only the folks with marginal views that take the time to write out what they think. 

    ADVERTISEMENT
    ADVERTISEMENT
    #25

    Funny-Witty-Comebacks

    m******dbywords Report

    Rizzo
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    If I would have to wear such a thing I would stop posting selfies where it is visible.

    View more comments
    #27

    Funny-Witty-Comebacks

    m******dbywords Report

    As is quite easy to imagine, once you get a forum full of folks with the most extreme opinions, conflict is almost inevitable without strict moderation. Since that requires hiring dedicated staff and developing a constantly evolving policy around what is and isn’t allowed, it’s not surprising that so many pages have slowly decided to forgo comments entirely. 

    ADVERTISEMENT
    #28

    Funny-Witty-Comebacks

    m******dbywords Report

    Cyber Returns
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    You can't see where you are going as it doesn't have windows

    burncreek
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Says the guy who doesn't have a clue why workers have unions.

    Marlowe Fitzpatrik
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Oh, he sure knows. He just doesn't want them to have them

    Load More Replies...
    Full of Giggles
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Aren’t Tesla charging ports sold separately?

    laura lee
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Also shut up Elon we're sick of you

    Trinity
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I wouldn't touch it, it probably doesn't have Windows.

    Simeon Nevel
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The steering wheel will be a subscription based option

    alicia
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Who TF is HE to talk?! Tesla charges over $10K extra for the AI driving feature, which is arguably the main allure of the car in the first place.

    Mimi La Souris
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    and it will be necessary to put the car on the back to load it

    TotallyNOTAFox
    Community Member
    1 year ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It will require special, Apple exclusive fuel too. And none of the tools that fit any other car will be working on it, despite it being 95% build out of General Motor parts

    Radek Suski
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Said by the right guy. Freaking moron and conman

    Keith Handly (Ike)
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    MacRumors now says 2026 (in their article dated 27th Sept 2023)

    Load More Replies...
    Šimon Špaček
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Says guy who makes cars that spy on their owners.

    WindySwede
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    One would think at least Eloff would know to use the correct word, motor?

    Load More Replies...
    Highball
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Nice looking car, stupid remark.

    ifound_acoolfrog
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    If it has the battery power of a iPhone I'm not buying it

    Kevin J. Henning
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Everything sold separately and nothing is compatible with anything else.

    MasterJoseph
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Picture this: You're driving the Apple Car. You see an announcement that the new Apple Car 2 released. Your car starts swerving uncontrollably before crashing itself into a ditch.

    Rostit. .
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    engine loses power after each new model comes out.

    Alias Fakename
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Will it need an adapter to put gas in the car?

    shado
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    ironic coming from someone who actually subscriptions their heated seats and other features in the cars they sell!

    Yin Lin
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    An eagle screeched outside my window when I looked at this picture 🤣 bro knows comedy.

    JP Purves
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Hey Elon, maybe they won't run down pedestrians or catch fire like yours do.

    Elizabeth
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    You have to flip it over to charge it

    mikedtw
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    their first car will cease to operate after five years, with no way to repair it

    Hugh Crawford
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    After a couple of years Apple will replace the gas tank with a smaller and smaller tank.

    Mike Loux
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Need a dongle just to charge the f****r.

    Kevin Hickey
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This must be old, Elon Musk had a sense of humor.

    CryingChildKinnie
    Community Member
    1 year ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    made a comment, realized the wording was weird and couldn't figure out how to fix it hehe

    View more comments
    ADVERTISEMENT
    #29

    Funny-Witty-Comebacks

    m******dbywords Report

    theincrediblebatcat
    Community Member
    1 year ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Thank goodness that time is over Edit: I meant the quarantine

    View more comments

    Google has been working on AI tools to help moderate, as it would appear there is a (sadly) growing market. However, a more human-centric approach has existed for a while, that is, the user-flagged comment option that you can even find here. In other words, comments that break the rules are simply reported and/or downvoted by other readers. 

    ADVERTISEMENT
    #32

    Funny-Witty-Comebacks

    m******dbywords Report

    lily jones
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    He's already got a knack for the dad joke... wait does that mean....

    View more comments
    ADVERTISEMENT
    ADVERTISEMENT
    #35

    Funny-Witty-Comebacks

    m******dbywords Report

    Fynne
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Just wait until she opens it and find all the selfies it took

    View more comments
    #36

    Funny-Witty-Comebacks

    m******dbywords Report

    Hannah McCoy
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    this is why people need to watch their mouth on social media!!!

    View more comments
    ADVERTISEMENT
    #37

    Funny-Witty-Comebacks

    m******dbywords Report

    LauraDragonWench
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I thought sunglasses were part of the uniform? Did I get my information wrong?

    View more comments
    #38

    Funny-Witty-Comebacks

    m******dbywords Report

    Full of Giggles
    Community Member
    1 year ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This coming from the same morons who tried to cut my farms’ electric predator fence and set my livestock free into the middle of the damn desert in July.

    View more comments
    ADVERTISEMENT
    #39

    Funny-Witty-Comebacks

    m******dbywords Report

    Nonna_SoF
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Having a robust public transit system so I don't need to drive everywhere?

    View more comments
    ADVERTISEMENT
    See Also on Bored Panda
    #41

    Funny-Witty-Comebacks

    m******dbywords Report

    #42

    Funny-Witty-Comebacks

    m******dbywords Report

    Fynne
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    They don’t have the dexterity to hail a cab

    View more comments
    ADVERTISEMENT
    See Also on Bored Panda
    #43

    Funny-Witty-Comebacks

    m******dbywords Report

    Edison Lima
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    As the song said, you can't always get what you want.

    View more comments
    #44

    Funny-Witty-Comebacks

    m******dbywords Report

    Malek Basata
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    WHO. TAKES. CARE. OF WENDY'S SOCIAL MEDIA ACCOUNT

    View more comments
    ADVERTISEMENT
    See Also on Bored Panda
    ADVERTISEMENT
    See Also on Bored Panda
    #46

    Funny-Witty-Comebacks

    m******dbywords Report

    Astro
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The longer I look the angrier I get

    View more comments
    #47

    Funny-Witty-Comebacks

    m******dbywords Report

    lily jones
    Community Member
    1 year ago

    This comment has been deleted.

    View more comments
    ADVERTISEMENT
    See Also on Bored Panda
    ADVERTISEMENT
    See Also on Bored Panda
    #50

    Funny-Witty-Comebacks

    m******dbywords Report

    Mimi La Souris
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    to be honest, he is right, the kind of look parents give when they talk about their perfect child

    View more comments
    #51

    Funny-Witty-Comebacks

    m******dbywords Report

    cyclonick295
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The fact that he will type "boomer" in its entirety and refer to the other word as the "n-word" speaks volumes about which is worse. They're not comparable in any way, shape, or form.

    View more comments
    ADVERTISEMENT
    See Also on Bored Panda
    #53

    Funny-Witty-Comebacks

    m******dbywords Report

    ADVERTISEMENT
    #54

    Funny-Witty-Comebacks

    m******dbywords Report

    lily jones
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    He gonna need it for that burn (sorry I couldn't not)

    View more comments
    #55

    Funny-Witty-Comebacks

    m******dbywords Report

    ADVERTISEMENT
    ADVERTISEMENT
    #58

    Funny-Witty-Comebacks

    m******dbywords Report

    Astro
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    As someone who hates dodgeball because I broke my glasses once and thus always got picked last in high school gym class: I agree! Cancel dodgeball! Inhumane! Torture!

    View more comments
    ADVERTISEMENT
    #61

    Funny-Witty-Comebacks

    m******dbywords Report

    Lavern Defazio
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Self made? Is that a real thing? No bank loans? No personal loans?

    View more comments
    ADVERTISEMENT
    #62

    Funny-Witty-Comebacks

    m******dbywords Report

    Vasana Phong
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Definitely not true, if this was the case then he wouldn’t have a beard either

    View more comments
    #63

    Funny-Witty-Comebacks

    m******dbywords Report

    LauraDragonWench
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Well, at least you already have something cooling for that burn, even if it's not the right size. 😄

    View more comments
    #64

    Funny-Witty-Comebacks

    m******dbywords Report

    Malek Basata
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Ngl if I see this guy from a 10 mile radius I'm dissapearing

    View more comments
    ADVERTISEMENT
    ADVERTISEMENT
    #66

    Funny-Witty-Comebacks

    m******dbywords Report

    #67

    Funny-Witty-Comebacks

    m******dbywords Report

    Teutonic Disaster
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    He's not wrong tho. And with the way cost-of-living expenses go, that's actually some smart personal economizing.

    View more comments
    ADVERTISEMENT
    #69

    Funny-Witty-Comebacks

    m******dbywords Report

    Bear Hall
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Well, when I fall in the shower I try to grab anything and everything.

    View more comments
    ADVERTISEMENT
    ADVERTISEMENT
    #73

    Funny-Witty-Comebacks

    m******dbywords Report

    Haley Hansen
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    not to sound like a loser, but a gender studies course can be taken by anyone for a humanities credit, they don't have to be majoring in it. that said, i took one and it was actually a very informative class! it wasn't what i expected

    View more comments
    ADVERTISEMENT
    #74

    Funny-Witty-Comebacks

    m******dbywords Report

    #75

    Funny-Witty-Comebacks

    m******dbywords Report

    SadieCat17 (she/her)
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm sorry, but Chick-fil-A renounced any right to be funny by being run by pieces of s**t

    View more comments