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Everybody loves to laugh, and everybody likes surprises (as long as they're nice surprises. Obviously), so what better way combine the two than with these funny tweets that all have endings that you didn't quite expect.
Take a look at the list below to see for yourself what we mean. From pot-smoking teens and seemingly innocent love poems to sexual fantasies and airplane cockpits, the only thing predictable about these tweets is that they're guaranteed to make you smile.
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#1
Naima Ivansdóttir 9 years ago
i've been following this account for some time now, it's just hilarious.
Susanna Vesna 9 years ago
Pakalu Papito is amazing! He has a Facebook page which Twitterless people can follow :)
RELATED:
#2
#3
Rita Amber 9 years ago
thats stolen from a mean tweets on jimmy kimmel regarding mumford and sons that was on tv more than a year ago.
#4
Taha Hadjadj 9 years ago
Fifteen minutes later the police cought him and the two kids and his boss smoking pot outside his office
Cuzy123 9 years ago
Fifteen minutes later, a very confused squirrel found two kids, a man, his boss and half the police force smoking pot.
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Elise Caroline 9 years ago
Fifteen minutes later they're all dead and the cop walks away with the weed
Jennifer Morrison 9 years ago
Later that night....cop, boss, guy and two kids are spotted at white castle.
#5
Hans 9 years ago
Took a while to get it...it actually is quite funny. Punctuation would have helped a lot, though.
#6
Linn Tara Lenby 9 years ago
Stealing that one for the next creep sending me perv messages on fb!
#7
Saima Nisbet 9 years ago
Carrots will suddenly evolve into living things with a brain and start talking? With an imagination like that, you should consider writing science fiction.
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#8
Pemberton 9 years ago
That's exactly what I'm thinking! I hope there are more than one toilets in his house.
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Potato Panda 2 years ago
My friend once asked her cousin what she would think if she fit 20 marshmallows in her mouth. Her cousin replied，“coward. do 25. ”
#9
Chrick Chrolled 9 years ago
How do you know that they're cheating? Could be an open relationship and the wife doesn't like the look of the girlfriend ;)
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Leonie Brok 9 years ago
He is married and then he found a girlfriend. The wife was not amused by him cheating
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#10
Nicholas McGuinness 9 years ago
me: I SHALL NEVER STOP *grabs instructor and jumps of licking lips all the way down * instructor: WAIT I DIDNT TIE THE ROPES
#11
Villo Gertner 9 years ago
I always face posts abount unconveniently crying babies on planes. Why is it so especially hard on planes. I mean it's better than a crying pilot.
Jeanne Deaux 9 years ago
Because planes have very limited space so you can't really escape the disturbance. But you are right, a crying pilot would be quite terrible *looks for the parachute* ^_^'
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Melissa Hester 9 years ago
Too bad bill Cosby wasn't sitting next to you. He would have put the pill in the bottle and everyone would have enjoyed their flight.
#12
Jul Kute 9 years ago
I did too XD. sounds like something leafy would say. like the word cringy.
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Mariya Stoyanova 9 years ago
I should probably be ashamed of how loudly I laughed at tthis one :-) :-)
#13
Melissa Hester 9 years ago
This is what the song Stan would have been like if it was written from a woman's point of view.
#14
Leck Goodnough 9 years ago
I used to work at a store called the Children's Exchange....but no one did?
#15
RJazz909 9 years ago
Dear people who don't use capital letters, We are the difference between helping your uncle jack off a horse and helping your Uncle Jack off a horse. Sincerely, Capital letters.
Evelien van der Ham 9 years ago
Completely agree. Don't take it to far though; after a comma there's no capital letter.
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#16
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#18
Puddin Tane 9 years ago
He takes my hand, leads me to the bed, and says in a throaty wihisper, "Breakfast in 5 mins."
Melissa Hester 9 years ago
Replace nap with pizza, wine, and Netflix. Then you have the trifecta of love. ❤️
Nathan Allnatt 9 years ago
I can think of at least three situations where I would actually do this...
#19
Lazy Panda 9 years ago
Wow your dog isn't very good a teacher guarding, I had a friend dress up and wear extra protection and come into my house to see how my dog would react... he got attacked and I think my dog might've pierced his skin through the thick protection she was wearing
#20
#21
Rich Peach 8 years ago
Roses are red, this much is true But violets are violet, not f*****g blue!
Ryza Tigno 8 years ago
Roses are red Violets are blue Sunflowers are yellow I bet you thought this was something romantic but it was I DIO!
Raina Youngs 8 years ago
And not all sunflowers are yellow - or even any colour that would probably make someone think of fire.
#22
Cody Eriksen 9 years ago
Somehow, I'd feel better knowing that... It would explain a lot of flights!
Silent Skeleton 9 years ago
OOOOH GOOOOOOD. YES. I FEEL SOOO GREEEEAT ABOUT THIS FLIGHT RIGHT NOW.
#23
Valentina Favaro 8 years ago
actually it does apply to me! my siblings are much older and I was raised as an only child.
Kirsten Lee 9 years ago
Lol I'm looking through these comments and thinking all you are children get over it. Someone thought it was funny so it was funny, if someone wants to make an opinion they can everyone is welcome here on bored panda. So everyone please calm your tits and suck it up thank you.
Lilya 8 years ago
Iol you SOUND LIKE a child. Just let the joke be a joke... thanks! 😜
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PugSoup 9 years ago
I hate people like you who think you're important enough to comment: "First!" Like, no one cares.
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#24
Georgia Stergiadis 9 years ago
I actually have this mental image of a man doing exactly that to his wife and her jumping around all over the place, screaming her hear off! LMFAO!
David Seidman 9 years ago
As long as that's all he's doing......much worse if he's stinging you!
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#27
gedwards1 9 years ago
If they are having an autopsy, I think he's beyond help
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Georgia Stergiadis 9 years ago
I was about to correct "Mike" to "mic", then I realized this was about something else. HAHA!
#28
Puddin Tane 9 years ago
Yeah, it might break under pressure. Then the gig is up and ikea is exposed as a fraud.
#29
Nenad Pavlović 9 years ago
[She becomes invisible and leaves me for a short, hairy man named Sam]
#30
#31
Nathan Allnatt 9 years ago
These modern mob bosses are so much less effective than the old school ones...
Gay Johnson 9 years ago
My meds must be kickin' in because that earned a belly laugh...sorta like lmao, only different
#32
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#36
Melissa Hester 9 years ago
You forgot the 8th rule... -don't post a selfie while robbing the bank
#37
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#39
#40
Joshua Smith 8 years ago
Give a man a fish and you’ll feed him for a day. Teach that man to fish and he’ll sit around in a boat drinking beer all day.
Robert Morson 9 years ago
No it wouldn't. There would be no surprise that way.
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#41
Zed 9 years ago
At the beginning it sounds like he's homophobic and you would think that he's going to say something very rude but in the end it turns out he's just very very enthusiastic and happy about it.
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Kazzywazzy 9 years ago
^^^ As well as down voting, please report this idiot ^^^
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#42
Hayley Lightcap 9 years ago
Yknow, fun fact: eating a person is legal if you have their consent
#43
Virginia Su 9 years ago
Lol I saw a similar video. A girl's husband was trapped and dying under a rock. They're crying and begging and all of a sudden a spirit descends and asks her for a single wish. She asks if it's real with tears in her eyes. Her husband lets our a sigh of relief and smiles. She looks up, smiles, and says, "Give me the appearance of a 20 year old."
Misty Pal 9 years ago
that would be my first choice as well, but not just for my dogs.. ALL DOGS, heck Allll animals
Nathan Allnatt 9 years ago
Granting my wife the ability to walk again would've been my FIRST wish... she was probably sitting down because now she has a chair wherever she goes.
#45
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#49
Ash Lauren 8 years ago
Ey, good for you! You just saved the family a few hundred thousand/million dollars!
#50
Gay Johnson 9 years ago
that's one way to settle things...why has no one thought of this before? Do away with lawyers and get right down to business.
#51
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#55
#56
Юлия Данилова 8 years ago
....there! have some ",,,?!!!?-;;..". Might help you from time to time...
#57
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#61
Gay Johnson 9 years ago
me too...well, really I have a reason - my meds are kicking in
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#62
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#67
#68
#70
Ash Lauren 8 years ago
Pfftt.. I feel kinda bad for laughing at this. I'm definitely going to hell.
#71
#72
Kristy Carey 8 years ago
I feel like it should be followed by ‘and that’s how I got fired from my last job. So, tell me more about you?’
Ash Lauren 8 years ago
There seriously needs to be some sort of commercial like that in a horror movie that is playing in the background of a pan-around shot.
#73
Sandra Lim 9 years ago
Let's do it again... Means let's see you when someone is dead again 😱
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#75
Susan Forbes 9 years ago
It's a brand of bottled water. He's saying you're not scummy pond water, you're fancy bottled water
#80
Mihai Ilie 9 years ago
The first sentence implies that it was his friend that was cremated. The surprise and the success of the joke relies on the free intepretation of the former sentence.
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Alfa Bata 9 years ago
He was killed by bears while enjoying hunting in the forest, cmiiw
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#83
#84
Šimon Špaček 8 years ago
And they do not mind about loud music too! As long as it is not death metal.
#85
Robert Morson 9 years ago
Depending on the customer's sense of humor, you are either getting a large tip or none at all.
Jeanne Deaux 9 years ago
Yup, he could also get a large bruise. That's quite risky. *takes some popcorn and sits in a corner*
Load More Replies... Georgia Stergiadis 9 years ago
When I hear or read the word "fisting", I think of...something else
#86
#87
Add New Image
What do you think ?
Amanda Panda 9 years ago
Is a "thank you" too much to ask for when I wake up early and make you breakfast in bed? I don't appreciate all this "who are you, and HOW DID YOU GET IN MY HOUSE" nonsense!
Kevin Munday 8 years ago
Annoying colleague asks if I can do him a favour, I said give me a gun and I'll do us all one
Amanda Panda 9 years ago
Is a "thank you" too much to ask for when I wake up early and make you breakfast in bed? I don't appreciate all this "who are you, and HOW DID YOU GET IN MY HOUSE" nonsense!
Kevin Munday 8 years ago
Annoying colleague asks if I can do him a favour, I said give me a gun and I'll do us all one
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