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50 Of The Most Relatable And Laugh-Worthy Memes About Womanhood, As Shared By This Instagram Page
Whether you identify as a woman or were born as one, there are some things we ladies can agree on: coffee is our best friend, periods can go back to hell, and our pockets are way too small to be practical. There’s much more where that came from and, thankfully, we have the wonderful invention of memes to unite us all in the struggles and joys of womanhood.
One page has been sharing just that type of content for the past 6 years, and it is called “Girls Meet The Internet.” Their 98.7K followers have been loving the memes and the oh-so-relatable posts, and we’re proud to be bringing some of our favorites to you today, dear Pandas.
Make sure you’re upvoting your favorites and leaving comments below, and if you’re craving a little bit more, then Bored Panda has another article for you that may just do the trick. So let’s dive right into it!
More info: Instagram
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
Lyyyy 2 years ago
Yep, absolutely, they are a menace! But do people not know that it is possible to safely almost eliminate menstruations? I take birth control pill, and use them nonstop (doctors recommendation) usually for 6 months. So I mentruate only two times a year. Also other forms of birth control, like hormonal IUD can have this effect. Of course there are people for who hormonal birth control is out of question.
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Nitka Tsar 2 years ago
… is this not taught in school everywhere? I got my first period when I was 11. I knew already what it was, how it works and that I would get it every month. I learned at school how to use tampons just a bit later in Biology (subject sex ed).
JoNo 2 years ago
Umm, your fault for not preparing her better by telling her the facts a few years before (or anytime before) rather than telling her when she's 14!
Elizabeth Tayler 2 years ago
Didn't mean she didn't know about, was probably just her first time experiencing it! Understanding the basics of of something & experiencing it are completely different.
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Laure 2 years ago
My mom explained everything to us but somehow I misunderstood the fact that periods were a monthly thing. When I had my first period at 10 or 11, I told her that at least it was done and I would not have to worry about it anymore. Her face when she realised I thought it was a one off thing...
Scott Amundsen 2 years ago
I apologize for laughing but that just struck me as too funny not to.
Load More Replies... JB 2 years ago
Wait.... It's not all playing tennis in a white skirt or going bareback riding on a beach?
Auntriarch 2 years ago
You don't even get issued with roller skates and a pair of Dalmatians
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Stephanie Barr 2 years ago
My ten year old daughter came through her first period with no real complaints, then said, "So, I have to keep doing that until I grow up." Oh, honey.
V 2 years ago
TBF I am only 10-15 years away from menopause and I'm still waiting to grow up...
Load More Replies... MoeBee 2 years ago
I'm a guy and even I am sorry that girls and women have to go through this monthly for most of their lives. If men had to do this in addition to pregnancies we would have developed solutions and civilization would have died out.
sayanything 2 years ago
We HAVE. solutions. But in the US we've made them illegal.
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The first rule of Girl Code is we stick by one another no matter what. Whether we’ve been friends since kindergarten or just met in the restroom, we’ve got each other’s back, especially in matters of safety and feminine hygiene. Life is way too complex for us to be at one another’s throats.
Rather, let’s laugh at the ironic, unforgiving, and delightful bits of life that are perfectly represented in these posts shared by “Girls Meet The Internet.” The Instagram account has been entertaining its 98.7K followers since July 2017, and there seems to be no sign of it stopping.
RELATED:
#2
Sarah Elizabeth 2 years ago (edited)
This comment is hidden. Click here to view.
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Cara G 2 years ago
Given the dramatic change to American women's lives since June 24th, 2022, this is something that NEEDS to be openly and frankly addressed.
Raetz nelson 2 years ago
Yeah f**k the patriarchy, bunch of old white dudes don’t even know what a clit is
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JoNo 2 years ago
It seems different countries advertise stuff that other countries don't, because I've never seen a pregnancy test commercial.
Katrina M. Alecson 2 years ago
In the US they even advertise prescription medications, pretty stupid imo
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Lady of the Mountains 2 years ago
I saw a commercial once where all the responses were very vague as to what result they were looking for, and you couldn't tell if the reaction was relief, stress, or happiness. That was also a good way of doing it and very interesting to watch how any of them could have gone either way, wanting a child or not
natie marie 2 years ago
(Wanting babies is great. but not wanting babies is also great)
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Leo Domitrix 2 years ago
I want one where they breathe a huge sigh of relief, and then go see a doctor about a vasectomy for the guy.
Pensive_Panda 2 years ago
Sadly, as a woman in menopause, I'd love to see a positive test. But, alas... no more....
Poeha 2 years ago
Sadly? I'm so glad they're teens now. I'm too old now for babies and toddlers. I still want a baby though, so I treat my rabbit like one.
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lauralett50 2 years ago
All the time. Don't ignore the red flags! Be safe!!
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Pheebs 2 years ago (edited)
I had a teacher warn me off of a guy once. He’d had the guy the semester before, and wasn’t impressed based on his interactions with classmates. I never acknowledged I got the message, but I also didn’t want to tell the teacher that I’d already been there - the guy was my ex, and had been for almost a year. I still very much appreciated that he was concerned for me.
Sean Sean 2 years ago (edited)
Plot Twist: There were no Red Flags. He thinks the guy is cute and just wanted her out of the way so he can make his move.
Whilst you’re scrolling through this list, I thought it would be interesting to delve a little bit into the notion of feminism—the belief in social, economic, and political equality of the sexes. As stated on Encyclopaedia Britannica, feminism is manifested worldwide and is represented by various institutions committed to activity on behalf of women’s rights and interests.
Although a lot of people nowadays tend to misunderstand its purpose, few look into the history that started it all. Throughout most of Western history, women were confined to the domestic sphere, while public life was reserved for men. Even as late as the early 20th century, women could neither vote nor hold elective office in Europe and in most of the United States.
Women were prevented from conducting business without a male representative. Married women could not exercise control over their own children without the permission of their husbands. Moreover, women had little or no access to education and were barred from most professions. In some parts of the world, such restrictions on women continue today.
#4
Julia Mckinney 2 years ago
Yeah, July 2022, a 500 acre fire in Texas was caused by glass in a garbage can magnifying the sun and igniting papers. It burned 5 homes and took 8 days to contain.
everleigh wright 2 years ago
just because we are crazy people doesn't mean we don't have logic
Key Lime 2 years ago
A plumber gets called to a job for a blocked sink. It turns out the lady's crystal ball rolled off the counter and got stuck in the garbage disposal. The plumber says "What you didn't see that happening?"
sayanything 2 years ago
Neither did the person who levelled the countertops.
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Auntriarch 2 years ago
My dad's magnifying glass burnt a scar in the side of his wooden filing cabinet. Twice. My mother made it a little bag to cover it
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Kraneia The Dancing Dryad 2 years ago
Snow globes do this too, someone put their Christmas snow globe in their front window and their house caught on fire
Bored Birgit 2 years ago
Wow. Didn't know that. Thanks. Will put my snow globes away.
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Šimon Špaček 2 years ago
That is a real thing, not that long ago I had to replace keyboard at work after somebody left glasses next to it. Two lines burned from "X" to "4" and from "B" to "7"
#5
Jessica Nessman 2 years ago
I'd just like to say my doggo's name is Bruce Wayne. Incase anyone was wondering. I don't get to say that often so I grabbed that opportunity. Thanks for listening :)
The Original Bruno 2 years ago
I once worked with a guy named Brian Griffin. He was in his Mid 20s. He said he was going to New England. In front of the office meeting, I asked him if he was going back to Quahog. Nothing. Not a damned thing. Out of 20 people in the meeting. "You know, visit Peter Griffin in Rhode Island? I know you're a Family Guy?" "I don't have any family in Rhode Island." HOW CAN YOU BE NAMED BRIAN GRIFFIN AND NOT KNOW WHO BRIAN GRIFFIN IS???? It was at that moment that I regretted joking with him, "Where's my money, Brian?"
#6
Kim Kermes 2 years ago
How about devouring an entire take and bake chibatta loaf fresh from the oven?
James016 2 years ago
Sometimes the toast is just right and the butter doesn’t completely melt so the toast is not soggy. Heaven on a plate.
Joey Marlin 2 years ago
Yes! That's exactly it for me too! That's how perfect hot buttered toast should be. Excuse me...
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Sensitive_panda 2 years ago
I am going through midlife crisis and i absolutely find comfort in toast and butter!
Feminism is not a modern affair. In late 14th- and early 15th-century France, the first feminist philosopher, Christine de Pisan, challenged prevailing attitudes toward women with a bold call for female education. The defense of women had become a literary subgenre by the end of the 16th century, when Il merito delle donne (1600; The Worth of Women), a feminist broadside by another Venetian author, Moderata Fonte, was published posthumously.
As further explained on Encyclopaedia Britannica, defenders of the status quo painted women as superficial and inherently immoral, while the emerging feminists produced long lists of women of courage and accomplishment and proclaimed that women would be the intellectual equals of men if they were given equal access to education.
#7
AspieGirl88 2 years ago
Just because you don’t know the answer, it doesn’t make you “dumb”, though. We don’t know everything there is to know about our world & universes, after all. It merely means there’s more to learn & not everyone absorbs knowledge like a sponge & water. 🤷♀️🙂
#8
fair_weather_rose 2 years ago
I would absolutely participate in this! Not sure if I count as "silly," but I've learned a lot from eccentric old women, and i would appreciate any pearls of wisdom they decide to impart on me.
Heather Daugherty 2 years ago
I've been married 30 yrs & used to get frustrated at my hubby's messiness. nothing unhealthy mind you, but fairly messy. It used to p!ss the sh!t out of me, gah! I've mellowed. mostly. then one day he was late coming home. scary late. 1st time in 20 yrs he didn't call before heading home. all I could think was he'd been killed in an accident. in my panic of trying to imagine life without him, I realized these may be his last dishes in the sink & today may've been the last time i pulled all his hair gunk out of the brush (yuck) & I lost it. he came home to me ugly crying. girl, life is scary short to be worried about crumbs & clutter. don't make the last thing you say to your loved one be about how mad he makes you cause he was rushing & put the toothpaste cap on wrong...hope this helps! from an old married eccentric woman 😀
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Kim Kermes 2 years ago
Silly young ladies or gents, I'm too old to care. Where can I sign up? I've considered advertising as a crazy auntie for those who want one.
natie marie 2 years ago
I was thinking about this in the night. Can we have platonic match making sites please where we pair up eccentric old ladies with 12 cats with young women with no cats that want cats but dont have time to be responsible pet owners yet. Like borrow my doggy but like chat over cats.... (Cats used for this example but all manor of interests that are not for the purpose of forming a romantic relationship)
Shyla Bouche 2 years ago
All I've got is Bouche, but she would love a playmate.
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Beruthiel45 2 years ago
I'm an eccentric old woman but too often those like me are condemned as being boomers or Karens without reason or given the courtesy of being known before being labelled. I've got my own daughters, grand daughters and great granddaughters to whom I impart my experience and knowledge. They know and appreciate me. And they aren't silly. I adore them.
Alecto76 2 years ago (edited)
Definitely eccentric "old" lady. Married for the first at 46, but many lovely relationships. And crappy ones. No children due to fate at least this lifetime. However, as long as I refrain from killing a certain 3 fingered man, I should have a different lifetime up next. I think. This is a great idea. Someone should do this.
#9
Spocks's Mom 2 years ago
I used to frequent this place when I was drinking. I give it 5⭐'s.
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debrina blackmoon 2 years ago (edited)
Oh, these 2 girls judge me for everything, I think.
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Equality is the main word in the equation (although there are certain aspects that get misconstrued with this notion as well), with an emphasis on oppression. At the core of it all, Feminist theory argues that women should enjoy the same rights as men, including the right to speech, religion, bodily autonomy, and political expression.
Simply put, feminism is a movement to end sexism, sexist exploitation, and oppression. And although the misinterpretation of that poses men as the main enemy, that is simply not the case, as feminism embodies equality for all. Yet Joshua Evans posed an interesting question: “Can true equality be achieved if half the population cannot help, or does feminism lose its way if it becomes dominated by male voices?”
#10
Couldnt_find_a_decent_name 2 years ago
I dont think any teenagers are particularly easy, we’re all our own little package of chaos tied up in a bow
StrangeOne 2 years ago
I hate that rhetoric so much. I've heard "At least he won't be coming home pregnant." and "i won't have to worry about how he dresses when he leaves the house." Just really f****d up mentality.
Incrediblybored 2 years ago
If you think about it, a boy could be getting multiple girls pregnant a week so it’s ridiculous that people say things like that
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Jill Rhodry 2 years ago
From twitter: honestly the best marketing scheme in history is men successfully getting away with calling women the "more emotional" gender for like, EONS, because they've successfully rebranded anger as Not An Emotion - (good on OP for recognising it though)
fair_weather_rose 2 years ago
Teenagers as a whole are emotional messes, gender has very little to do with it. I say this as a teen who would like to think she achieved emotional maturity before her peers, but is most likely just as much an emotional mess as the rest of her classmates.
Daria 2 years ago
The misconception that boys and men are less emotional than girls and women is a pile of BS that needs to go.
Max Fox 2 years ago
Boys are older, and therefore bigger and stronger, when puberty, and the ensuing emotional chaos hits them. They are also encouraged, by society, to act out aggressively when they are upset, instead of doing something that will actually help them feel better. So, instead of running to their rooms and crying until they feel better, they punch the wall, resulting in $200 damage and a $450 hospital bill. Because "manly" = pain, wasted time, and financial loss.
Kitty Kat 2 years ago (edited)
Better than going out and shooting people, but yeah, not the right way to handle negative feelings.
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Worst Cop in Britain 2 years ago
Shouldn't be that way. We are all human, we are all emotional. Boys should feel comfortable expressing their emotions.
Pheonixvatoreii 2 years ago
Telling boys they shouldn't be emotional is planting the seed to toxic masculinity
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Synsepalum 2 years ago
"Less emotional" as if serial murder, war, and genocide isn't the purview of men.
Michelle C 2 years ago
😂 No…I worked with middle school students some time ago and boys that age can be just as emotional as girls!!
#11
fair_weather_rose 2 years ago (edited)
My friend and I have writing chemistry. I write long, dialogue heavy rambles about characters that exist only in my mind, she makes them make sense to the outside world.
Couldnt_find_a_decent_name 2 years ago
“Chemistry” more like “a high school student putting random things in a beaker” for me
The_OG_Catlady 2 years ago
Every relationship is chemistry. Sometimes it makes a beautiful and useful new thing. Sometimes is makes a stinky and corrosive amalgamation and should better be left alone.
tw 72 2 years ago
And sometimes it makes you laugh hard enough to pee your pants
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Aroace tiger (she/they/he) 2 years ago (edited)
Hell yes my platonic chemistry with some of my friends is crazy
Regina phalange 2 years ago
And sometimes when you have chemistry with someone you sit at desks and listen to a teacher.
The Veil of Fire 2 years ago
I'm at a time in my life where the greatest, bestest , most satisfying chemistry will most likely be opening up a taco truck or pet rescue together somewhere.
#12
Sophie 2 years ago
One of the most intriguing philosophers ever. Nice connection!
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Kyllein MacKellerann 2 years ago
Yeah, felt that too. At my age, though, I'll probably be dead before the Sh*tsrorm hits full blast...
Studies show that in more gender-equal societies, men are half as likely to be depressed, less likely to commit suicide, have around a 40% smaller risk of dying a violent death, and even suffer less from chronic back pain. In an equal society, social issues such as sexual assault and domestic violence against men may be treated more seriously.
Feminism has also allowed men to have longer maternity leave and be full-time parents, combatting ‘breadwinner’ stereotypes. These are a few examples of what feminism can and continues to do for men. And it’s up to men to support it in whatever way they can.
#13
Yvonne Blau 2 years ago
Even worse: two people are trying to explain it at the same time. Makes me want to scream, haha
sturmwesen 2 years ago
Yes. My SO can explain them for 30 mins and I'll still just play like the god of chaos. Doesn't really show on the score board though. It's mostly balanced.
The Veil of Fire 2 years ago
Ya might have to explain that to the youngers...dial tone. Kind of like dial up but with one constant tonal level. Dial up is ..... Ok this is weird. Either I'm getting too old or the world is getting to young. 😂
MurderMittens 2 years ago
Good point. Today's kids may have no clue what a dial tone is.
Load More Replies... Remi (He/Him) 2 years ago
My brain goes to power saving mode about 5 minutes in, just like my phone
#14
AliJanx 2 years ago
My sister had glasses at a very young age. Never got contacts. I once got so frustrated with her and hollered FOUR EYES! She immediately, calmly said, "Half brain."
Adam L 2 years ago
I used to pull my glasses off and say "you must need these more than me cause these are made of glass, not eyes"
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the shrimp whisperer 2 years ago
i just choked on a guacamole taki and am gonna need a skin graft on my throat cause i laughed too hard
#15
Heather Daugherty 2 years ago
I keep re-reading this and it's just as funny. every single time.
Anna Stephenson 2 years ago
This made me laugh, and tbh I'd laugh f I witnessed it in real life too, in other news I'm off to buy my one way ticket to hell!
There is still a long way to go when it comes to the realization of feminist ideals, but I’m sure that sooner rather than later we’ll develop as a society to embrace one another, respect one another, and be there for one another. In the meantime, here are some universal rules of Girl Code.
If a girl needs a tampon and you have a tampon—help her out. If you notice a girl is too intoxicated to even see straight, get her some water and assist as necessary to keep her safe. If you see someone harassing or unwantedly touching a girl, help her out. If a girl is crying, make sure everything is alright. Finally, passing judgment on others does nobody justice, we girls need to stick together.
As you continue to scroll through this list, make sure to upvote your favorites. Leave your thoughts in the comments below, and I shall see you in the next one!
#16
Heather Daugherty 2 years ago
I used to think the 8-track flap in the car stereo was the little garage door that the tiny singers used to get inside the radio...
I'm Izzy and I'm busy 2 years ago
I used to think that pressing the hazard lights button would cause the car to blow up. I freaked out the first time my mum did it. I think it was because I would climb into the front seat and press it.
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v 2 years ago
Okay, it's the parent's fault that they can't bring themselves to teach their children about sex so they farm that responsibility out to the school and the school massively misses an opportune time to actually teach something because they can't be bothered with putting their damned bible down and teaching something real.
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The Veil of Fire 2 years ago
When "the talk" is understood incorrectly but we are ashamed to try to ask clarifying questions later on. My mom.explained sex to me and was so grossed out. I thought guys peed on girls privates. Yuck! When ya think about it the real option isn't all that hygienic either.
MurderMittens 2 years ago
My mom told me that a woman gets pregnant when she loves a man very much. I loved a little boy in kindergarten very much, so i kept wondering why my tummy wasn't getting bigger.
Shark Lady 2 years ago
I had to explain to my neighbour that her dog couldn't impregnate her cat. I also explained that she really needs to get them both to the vet ASAP
Raccoon 2 years ago
My sex ed was basically “gay bad,abortion bad, and if you hold hands before marriage you will catch an std and die” he literally didn’t explain what sex was at all. This was two years ago btw
Hey! 2 years ago
Wow. What kind of curriculum is this? I got the full ed in the late 1970's.
Load More Replies... Robert McKenzie 2 years ago
The Roman Catholic Church is as at *least* as evil as anything it replaced. It is all about accumulating money and denying *anything* accusers are of priests assaulting children.
Lyyyy 2 years ago
Do you have like childrens books that explain this in a sort of age appropriate way? I have a childrens book that I read to my 4 and 6-year olds that basically covers some of human anatomy (skeleton, muscles, heart, brain, lungs and genitals) with simplified realistic drawings and explaining pregnancy from start to finish in simplified terms. Might sound odd to some but the book is told from the perspective of a curious little boy who is getting a little sister or brother and asking a lot of questions. My kids are soo intrested in that book and learning about it in detail later in life is bound to be easier.
Pandasizing World Peace 2 years ago
What's the name and author of this book?
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parmadillo 2 years ago
Don’t laugh, maybe they couldn’t find a decent name ;)
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Thegoodboi 2 years ago
Probably my wife talking to me, I really should start doing things her way first...
lauralett50 2 years ago
That would probably keep you out of trouble more. Listening to her , do what she asks.
Load More Replies... Fenchurch 2 years ago
As a manager, I find myself saying this all the time. There is a reason to do the tasks in order by the deadlines so our program can function, but you would be surprised how many staff present their ideas on not doing the tasks at all or out of order or not on time. Then they call in a crisis when their job falls apart and I have to remind them to do what they were told to do the first 50 times we discussed their job duties since hiring day
Let’s Be Kind 2 years ago
Then she realized the woman had been talking to her child. Still applies.
Cydney Golden 2 years ago
I had a sign in my classroom, "If at first you don't succeed, try doing what the teacher said to do in the first place."
#18
Little Wonder 2 years ago
I bought a big bulk pack of hair ties and now I have zero excuses and it's annoying. Learn from my mistakes!
#19
ADDee 2 years ago
I believe it’s a fashion statement and a beautiful take on the Islamic “hijab” - head cover.
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i believe in cryo supremacy 2 years ago
as a fellow cosplayer, i absolutely adore the creativity of people who wear hijabs and how they use them to add to their cosplay :D
Parmeisan 2 years ago
Isn't anybody else concerned for the person in the background who is apparently running down the hallway at a full 45 degree tilt? I think they may be in the process of falling...
Disgruntled Pelican 2 years ago
They are walking and you’re seeing just one of their legs and their skirt. There’s no tilt.
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charli 2 years ago
she wanted to dress up as harley quinn, who has red and blue ponytails. as this girl wears a hijab, she can't show her hair so she improved and used different coloured hijabs to match the hair of harley quinn!
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#20
Alex Martin 2 years ago
Concur. Please post reviews. Looking forward to being that strange old hermit of some random village or town.
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Becklass 2 years ago
I’ve already picked out the names for my goats, pipsqueak and buttermilk. We can be neighbours.
Violet Olivia 2 years ago
Can I come too? Maybe we start our own small hamlet of like minded goat and fluffy cow moms/dads.
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Fidgets McGee 2 years ago
I am already there. At 46, I have ended my what I consider to be last long term relationship and am moving to Dawson City the home of the original gold rush to live off grid and raise goats and herbs with my 7lb dog. Like for real. April 1st 2023 I'm on the road.
Tamra 2 years ago
It sounds like a grand adventure! Hell, I'm excited for you. I almost feel like you should write a blog about it, because I'd totally read that. Best wishes and safe travels, Fidgets!
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Couldnt_find_a_decent_name 2 years ago
Absolutely, or maybe France, though I dont think I have the budget for that
Violet Jensen 2 years ago
No seriously bc my mom did this. We have the ducks already, Pygmy goats and cows next hopefully.
#21
Kim Kermes 2 years ago
After being together for 10 years, I finally had to send dh to buy pads. I gave him the box lid. While there, he met a man with glazed eyes and a desperate expression. He held up the lid and said "go get this".
Zelda Fitzgerald 2 years ago
I sent my husband to get me tampons while we were still FWB. He's a good sport 😆
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James016 2 years ago
I have pics of my wife’s preferred sanitary products on my phone so I don’t need to FaceTime her showing her the shelves of oh so similar but slightly different boxes. Live and learn
Jo 2 years ago
My 16 year old son asks me every time he goes shopping if I need something, like tampons. 💁♀️
MoeBee 2 years ago
You raised a winner who will likely make a partner very happy due to his thoughtfulness.
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Keyrara Sanchez Michael 2 years ago
I laughed my asked off and spit out wine thru my nose!!! Keep this Dude!! FUNNY AF
Alex Martin 2 years ago
Women and girls, please send a very specific description of the brand, model, features (wtf are pearls?), and level when when sending your eager to please but completely clueless husband, boyfriend, dad, brother, etc to the store for menstrual products. Pictures are very helpful. This has been a public service announcement.
Debbie 2 years ago (edited)
Me, a women with periods: It could be my own thoughts when standing in front of the isle. That or a glazed look, not knowing where to begin. And ending up with not the ones I want. (I'm a woman, use a lot of washable pads and a cup but also sometimes single use stuff like tampons and pads, but don't quite have a favourite brand, also the selection at the store seems to have changed each time / the brands have changed something etc...) Wished I could text someone to tell me which one I should get. Keuzestress. (Stress from too many choices).
Anna Stephenson 2 years ago
I mean, ngl- it's kinda cool that he legit thinks you COULD be a secret agent! He suspects he's dating Lara Croft!
LeeAnne B 2 years ago
This is a reasonable question. They get confused with all the choices. My ex bought a brand for me that I had never tried before and I gave it a go. Never looked back.
Beruthiel45 2 years ago
I knew I'd found a good guy when my husband of 59 years had no qualms at buying me sanitary necessities from Boots before we were even affianced in 1963.
Apatheist Account2 2 years ago
Jimmy Carr: I'm a modern man, I'm not afraid to buy tampons - but apparently it's not a "proper present". Sorry Mum!
#22
HarriMissesScotland 2 years ago
Sorry, but I am living so far below the poverty line, I couldn't even find a dime. I look forward to giving blood because I get Walmart gift cards and I use them to buy goodies!
ShellsBells 2 years ago
One of the cool features on an Explorer is that it has a touch keypad lock on the driver's door. Just lock the keys in the car and you're set. Just hide the keys!
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#23
JP callaghan 2 years ago
Because we'll soon not be allowed to own anything according klaus schwab
Keyrara Sanchez Michael 2 years ago
Sorry I've been hearing the same s**t for 30 years, now they are saying " in so many words" I am too old to buy a house I should get married and let my " husband" buy it.
Sarah Stalder 2 years ago
I was just thinking how the only other way to escape the roommate hell is to get into a relationship. It's a terrible reason and I refuse to give up my independence! Still...
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Lizz 2 years ago
Same case in Belgium.... Can't get a loan for a house but pay the same every month as if I would have a loan...
Sweet_Dee 2 years ago
I'm sure this will incite rage in everyone, but we bought our house in 2011 at one of the lowest points in the housing market. We pay less for our mortgage than we do for a car payment. And that is why no matter what goes wrong on this house (so much expensive s**t) we will never move and I remind my hubby of that every time he tries to sell me on a dream of living in a new condo or something like that...
Jacquelyn Jobe 2 years ago
A mortgage company said my husband and I could not afford a house selling for $100,000 so we bought one with a different mortgage company for $126,000. That was in 1999 and our house is now worth $500,000.
#24
CouchChihuahua 2 years ago
The average of smol screen and big screen is medium screen. Maths.
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Michelle C 2 years ago
That seems to be an accurate summary of the professional life for many more of us than I imagine we care to admit. 😮💨
Let’s Be Kind 2 years ago
If you watch someone that’s watching tv, it gets rather eerie because you begin to realize all they are doing is sitting still in a room, staring at something. (Less screen time, more activity! 😊)…. as I sit here staring at a screen…
nooneimportant 2 years ago
the 21st century is sad... i want to disappear all day playing by the river with no contact to anyone and just show up at dark and everyone just ok about it
#25
Cara G 2 years ago
Ugh this struggle is REAL. At 43, my brow hairs do not grow back at the same luscious rate of my 20s but now they're also turning white. So I have to make some hard decisions as to pencil or tweeze.
tw 72 2 years ago
I had mine tattooed back on. Find a professional, check it out.
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talliloo 2 years ago
i have never had "outer" brows which has left me looking like a relative of mr. spock or in a state of constant surprise.
Old Roadie 2 years ago
Oh, this one hit hard. I plucked mine at 17 and they never grew back. Now they're white. I'm calling it the Grandma Spock look. It'll go viral any day, I'm sure of it.
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#26
Allison Hart 2 years ago
I once had a coughing fit and my dog rolled her eyes at me and walked out of the room. Oh, I'm sorry. Am I bothering you???
Tavi “Raptor” Parks 2 years ago
I can see my dachshund doing that! He'll get pissed if i move a tad like oh I'm sorry my discomfort is bugging you!
Load More Replies... Anikulapo 2 years ago (edited)
Me: “come here boy! Come on!” Dog, lying down: *lifts head and looks at me*. *sighs, puts head back down*
Anonymouse 2 years ago
One of my cats, Moo, makes this little grumbling noise under her breath when I don't do something she wants. It sounds like she's muttering bad things about me and it. is. ADORABLE.
Joey Marlin 2 years ago
Watching mine they physically relax more when they do this.
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Nadine Bamberger 2 years ago
I know that sometimes my cat is looking at my while trying real hard to roll his eyes.
Lord Mysticlaw 2 years ago
My dog does happy/contented sighs and it's the cutest thing in the whole wide world.
#27
Barbara Ryan 2 years ago
Agreed! My late husband could literally make the walls tremble with his snore. I miss it.
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Amy Chirman 2 years ago
Unless you have sleep apnea, in which case you're screaming that sleep is trying to kill you!
Pizzagirl 91 2 years ago
Read in Al Pacino's voice: "hey, I'm dying over here!"
Load More Replies... JB 2 years ago
Except, if you know the science of snoring, they're not having a lovely sleep because their brain is having to wake up multiple times a minute to prevent the airway from collapsing and the brain from dying so what you're hearing is not a pleasant snooze but a body desperately crying out for oxygen as it slowly suffocates!
Liz Orreo trex ago go 2 years ago
You ever wonder if more people snore today as a percentage than when we lived near wild animals because before all the people who snored got eaten and did not procreate?
Kendra Miller 2 years ago
Oh that's an interesting hypothesis! I have heard that we developed our ability to control our bowle movements for the same reason. We could pick and choose where is was safe to poop and do it where it won't attract predators to your home. So they people who could hold their poops survived and those who didn't, didn't get the opportunity to pass on their genes.
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R Dennis 2 years ago
Marriage? Life! I never used to sleep more than 3-4 hours at night because I didn't see the point, it was never reinvigorating and a waste of time. I was better off reading, cleaning my fish tank, or rearranging furniture. When I was finally diagnosed with sleep apnea in my 30s (my brain stopped my breathing about 100x per hour), a CPAP changed my whole outlook. I now easily get 8 hours and don't shake the house.
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Robert McKenzie 2 years ago
That is sleep Apnoea and it is harmful to his health! He needs to see a specialist.
Load More Replies... lauralett50 2 years ago
Then he gets pissed that I sleep on the couch. I need my sleep too jeez!!
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Robert McKenzie 2 years ago
My father in law used to say that he stayed awake all night and never heard himself snore. Humorous, but *not* an effective response.
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Couldnt_find_a_decent_name 2 years ago
That’s a really important meeting though, can’t skip it
Sean Sean 2 years ago
There is no "third breakfast". It's; Breakfast, Second Breakfast, Elevenses, Luncheon, Afternoon Tea, Dinner, then Supper.
John Curran 2 years ago
That's a great idea. My meeting might be at the hummingbird feeder or maybe the morning paper while sitting in the sun.
the engineer 🇺🇦 2 years ago
my birds at 3:00 am in the morning: LET US SING YOU THE SONG OF OUR PEOPLE
#29
Margaret H 2 years ago
With the way some customers treat the staff, you're not wrong with this one.
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Kraneia The Dancing Dryad 2 years ago
I ask folks if they had a big bowl of stupid for breakfast....
Isidien Gudmundsdottir 2 years ago
There are times when I joke and say: "I'll have you know that my mother didn't raise no fools, my adoption agency told me so"
Robert McKenzie 2 years ago
Excellent! Wait a few seconds and see if they get it! If not, they ARE stupid!
Load More Replies... Cuppa tea? 2 years ago
Just asking some probing questions, to find out the source of the problem.
#30
Timmy Pillinger 2 years ago
I legit have a tee with the caption "party like it's 1651". It's good dance music
Adam Belaire 2 years ago
But if I finish all of my chores, and you finish thine. Then tonight, we're gonna party like it's 1699
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Alecto76 2 years ago
Spotify keeps adding songs from the 90s to my playlist. I lived it. Believe me, if I liked that song it would already be on it.
Demosthenes 2 years ago
100%, what’s the phrase that’s trending right now that induces vomit? “I feel this”. My Spotify generated Time Capsule includes Bush and Semisonic. Offended doesn’t get halfway there.
Load More Replies... Old Roadie 2 years ago (edited)
♪♬ ヾ(^^ゞ) No words to describe my parents when I cranked up Iron Butterfly on the stereo ...
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Will Cable 2 years ago
Anyone else keep finding 'new' songs to listen to but they are older than than the ones they normally listen to?
Donna Peluda 2 years ago
This drives me nuts, I'm in my 50s and my mates still listen to the same music from the 80s, that don't be fooled was the beginning of the end of real music, and quite sh*t. There were some good bands but I just can't think of them now.
Marci Rommal 2 years ago
This! My YouTube playlist has all my favorite songs from the 1960s to the 1990s. I play it all day long on my non-work days.
#31
Sleepy children love Moon 2 years ago
excuse me?! you can't go around telling people that I exist! what the heck are you doing?
Do-nut touch da donut 2 years ago
I feel targeted... oh well here ya go🍩🍩
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Robert McKenzie 2 years ago
I am wth the demon! But JUST a maple bar? And not a donut as well?
Lord Mysticlaw 2 years ago
*Making a note* People tell me all the time that I look younger than I am
#32
Agfox 2 years ago
I remember reading years ago where this guy said he & his partner decided it was time to get married when her teenage daughter started introducing him to her friends as "Mum's Bonk!"
Faster, Pussycat! Kill! Kill! 2 years ago
Fiancé is actually French for "the guy I'm f*****g now"
Mulberry Juice 2 years ago (edited)
Seriously?? ETA: turns out it’s something to do with a promise. 3 sources said all different things so I’m not sure who to trust
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#33
Lakota Wolf 2 years ago
Malibu is 21-24% Alc/Vol. You absolutely CAN be an alcoholic if you drink Malibu to excess. A person can be an alcoholic if they drink White Claws to excess.
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Rebekah 2 years ago
I haven't had Malibu since The Malibu Incident, as it's been known to be called, in college. FYI, don't drink the whole bottle.
MaggieMay85 2 years ago
Most people get a Malibu Incident, but you don’t talk about it 🤫. Ever.
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Em 2 years ago
I frequently walk around in alcohol-branded clothing. I rarely drink, I just run a liquor store and enjoy free stuff. No you cannot buy the Happy Dad hoodie off me, it's warm AF.
Hypoxia Smurf 2 years ago
I wore a Budweiser baseball cap to high school but they made me hide it. Sad.
Load More Replies... lilyanakaleva2111 2 years ago
one time I was in the park near kids playground with my son. We ate ice cream in the cafeteria and one lady ordered small margarita. I turned around to see who is the alcoholic who order cocktail at 11:00 AM only to see the lady ordering pizza
Lupita Nyong'heaux 2 years ago
so, in other words, it was you, huh, lilyana? LOL
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Valerie G. 2 years ago
I remember lining up to leave the Bahamas and was with two other people who were wearing Malibu sweatshirts. Took me a minute to figure out why the tourists getting off the plane had weird looks on their faces. They knew they had landed somewhere tropical, but had they landed on the wrong island?
Hypoxia Smurf 2 years ago
One close to me used to manage a celeb-favored bar in Malibu, California. Madonna gave birth on the bartop, the same bar Dylan rode a motorcycle upon. Mick Fleetwood whored on drums for whoever was playing that night. Nobody ordered fancy drinks, I was told. No Malibu rum mixers, just straight booze. Yow.
#35
D. Pitbull 2 years ago
omg... for a second I thought you were offering advice on how to be a serial killer. I'm so sorry - I read that all wrong.
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Donna Clanclan 2 years ago
I knew a lady who, half asleep, walked several miles in her Sunday best with her sister's boyfriend. It's only when they got near the church that she started to fully wake up and ask what was going on. Her sister refused the boyfriends proposal and the family decided he should marry her instead. They were married 60+ years. Therefore, I do not believe running a mile in the am will wake me up.
Isidien Gudmundsdottir 2 years ago (edited)
The reason I drink coffee is so people around me don't die. I like my coffee hot as hell, dark as the night and sweet as love.
#36
TrashPandaSociety 2 years ago
Right. My step dad barely clears the table or does the dishes, he certainly does not help cook or even set the table. Lazy f**k will point to me, my kid or my 85 year old cousin to help clean up.
Amanda Hunter 2 years ago
The husband shouldn't even have to 'help his wife, he should be proactive in household management when they're both home.
#37
Elizabeth 2 years ago
One of our gate agents on a United flight from Seattle to Miami said the same thing. Either this is just a common thing they say, or it's the same guy.
Robert McKenzie 2 years ago
Sounds like Aer Lingus: "Please board when the little hand is on the two, and the big hand is on the twelve".
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Justin Rogers 2 years ago
My ferrets song is "baby Grrr with da fur, the whole club was pettin her, shorty got low, low low"
Do-nut touch da donut 2 years ago
She hit the floor! 'she hit the floor' and she got low low low low low!
Load More Replies... Kraneia The Dancing Dryad 2 years ago
When will they get to group R: the Reeboks with the straps?
#38
CultOfBambi 2 years ago
Same - as long as I definitely get to pick which colleagues.
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Carol Emory 2 years ago
No thanks....some of those co-workers are the reason why I left that S****y Job.
GoGoPDX 2 years ago
You left your s****y job because of your favorite co workers?
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#39
Artist FKA Ramsey 2 years ago
My biggest mistake is reading this and finding out that people that were in 8th grade in 2009 are now adults.
Julia Mckinney 2 years ago
Or not having enough money in the late 80's and early 90's to buy Starbucks or Apple stock.
Sharkie 2 years ago
Yea! I should have invested too! But they wouldn't probably let me... as I was a toddler in early 90s...
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CHRIS DOMRES 2 years ago
In eight grade mine was that I had not been discovered as the world's top jazz keyboard player. Now at age 68, it is still the same.
#40
MurderMittens 2 years ago
Are you going to quit your NYC job and work at the Christmas tree farm?
Bubblegum Witch 2 years ago
If I was in a hallmark movie I’d be the girl who loved him but wasn’t good enough
#41
Mani Meko 2 years ago
As a German, I don‘t have any idea what OP might be referring to. Can‘t think of such a phrase.
DaVo 2 years ago (edited)
Ich fühle mich jetzt genug besucht. I'm Dutch and therefor (not native) German speaking. Only Reddit knows the phrase. Not one German knows it, so probably made up. People seem to think German has a word for everything like Fussbodenschleiffmachinenverleih.
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Couldnt_find_a_decent_name 2 years ago
Omg I must find this magical phrase, like real life Harry Potter
Lauren Caswell 2 years ago (edited)
EDIT: This seems to stem from one original tweet. I cannot find confirmation it is true, and many native German people here and on the original tweet have never heard this. perhaps it is a joke among friends and has been misunderstood?(Dies scheint von einem Original-Tweet zu stammen. Ich kann keine Bestätigung finden, dass es wahr ist, und viele gebürtige Deutsche hier und auf dem ursprünglichen Tweet haben das noch nie gehört. Vielleicht ist es unter Freunden ein Scherz und missverstanden worden?). The saying: "Ich fühle mich jetzt genug besucht." But it's regional/uncommon, not Germany-wider. There is also another saying, roughly 'After three days guests stink like fish': "Nach drei Tage stinken Gäste wie Fisch".
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SCamp 2 years ago
German also gave us schadenfreude - taking pleasure in another’s misfortune. Brilliant
Nitka Tsar 2 years ago
And Fernweh / Wanderlust - the opposite of home sickness. And Gesundheit - bless you without the connection to God. Literally it means health.
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KiLola Covet 2 years ago
I do that all the time lolll glad it's not just me
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VonBlade 2 years ago
I thought the universal sign was slapping your thighs, saying "right then", moving to the edge of your seat and hoping they'll get up too.
fair_weather_rose 2 years ago
I did not know I needed this phrase, but now I am aware of its existence, I feel the urge to use it whenever I am forced to communicate beyond my small and selective inner circle.
#42
Couldnt_find_a_decent_name 2 years ago
If I open a bar with a sad hour, how many people do you think would come?
Passerby 2 years ago
You might need to rent a football stadium to fit all the people. Even then it might not be enough.
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Robin Hawkins 2 years ago
There used to be a club/lounge that would have blue Mondays.Cheap drinks and sad music until midnight. That was in my college days in Columbus Ohio back in the 70's.Wheh!!!
Robert McKenzie 2 years ago
Brilliant idea! I would go to meet other peeps who are real and not social climbers or wankers.
#43
Couldnt_find_a_decent_name 2 years ago (edited)
Like love the environment but I love my sanity just a tiny bit more
MurderMittens 2 years ago
I use a glass straw. It comes with a brush for cleaning it, and it's easy to see when it's clean.
James Edwards 2 years ago
I grew up with paper straws, I don't remember having any problems with them!
Robert McKenzie 2 years ago
Yes, but only nowadays. Back in the 60s, paper straws were just fine!
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giku T 2 years ago
please drink like an adult america.you don't need straws to be "able" to drink. at least get sippy-cups
#44
Jay TheSaltLord 2 years ago
I heard jams from my clubbing days in the supermarket last week. I had not truly felt old til then.
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Ivana Bašić 2 years ago (edited)
But you can get into clubs for free if you pretend to be looking for your teen who's not supposed to be out. If you're good, you're also skipping the wait.
Wiebke Smeulders 2 years ago
You need to enlighten us with more of your wisdom!
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Chris Hooley 2 years ago
This hurt. And then I realised it's been over a decade since I went to "a club," and that last one was called Retro. 🤦♂️
Old Roadie 2 years ago
🎶 "There's battle lines being drawn, nobody's right if everybody's wrong. Young people speaking their minds, getting so much resistance from behind... "
Anna Stephenson 2 years ago
My best friends daughter bought a shirt the other day, that she described to me as "really cool and VINTAGE!" ........it was a TMNT shirt- I felt attacked and too old to defend myself lol
Tiny Dancer 2 years ago
Hilarious! And then I realized I haven't been to a club since the last millennium. Old sad face.
#45
Fat Harry 2 years ago
Get a horse. Works wonders when you need an excuse for being late: "Sorry I'm late, the horse escaped", "Sorry I'm late, horse was in the wrong field", "Sorry I'm late, the horse ate through the hedge again", "Sorry I'm late, I had to untangle a dead bird from my horse's mane" (this actually happened)
tw 72 2 years ago
Make sure you give it a human name, like Emily or Jarrod. Stay away from names like Fluffy and Sir Tuna-Lover McFuzzyBum.
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Norah Reilly 2 years ago
What makes you think that it's an option for them? Oh, and BTW, you'll be doing that when it comes time to care for your parents, if you do.
Fluffy mommy panda 2 years ago
Yes they will if they care and love there parents and then they will be the ones doing the same thing.
Load More Replies... Nitka Tsar 2 years ago
I‘m going to take this as a joke, because as far as I know people who leave work because of their kids, don‘t do that voluntarily or to have a great time at home…
Ursula Johnson 2 years ago
It's not a joke. Many Childfree people are constantly asked to stay late, cover or are denied time off because they don't have kids. They have lives as well.
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Melanie Burlock 2 years ago
As a parent who has an anxiety attack every time her phone rings when she’s at work because it might be the school calling again about her autistic kid’s behaviour - this one is seriously ignorant.
Sweet_Dee 2 years ago
Can people please stop acting like the days we take to care for our kids is a walk in the damned park? Sit with a feverish 3 year old with an ear ache for even 45 minutes and you'll be begging to go back to the office. If you need a day off, then take a damned day off, it's not the parents fault. Legit when I was in an office as HR like all of our office staff smoked (yeah they're dumb I know). Hired a non smoker and she was irritated that so many people just got extra breaks to kill themselves pretty much. So I told her to just go out anyways and get a "sunshine" break instead. The joy I gave that woman was totally worth getting bitched at by their manager for. Eff that.
Zelda Blue 2 years ago
OMG this is so true. I got so sick of covering for people because "you don't have kids, I need to get home to them"
#46
JB 2 years ago
The above statement can be read in an encouraging way, oddly. God IS over your s**t.
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Trophy Husband 2 years ago
Like WTF doesn't your company let me send an email or at least a live chat? No one wants to speak to you and that just costs you more anyway!!!
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Tiny Treev 2 years ago
God is trying to help shoulder your burdens by making you send an email vs going to a meeting
Hypoxia Smurf 2 years ago
Which deity is involved here? {JHWH}? Kokopeli? Osiris? Juno? Personally, I distrust them all, and would be wary of a message / email / telegram from any.
#47
Amy Chirman 2 years ago
Between the giant shoes, giant coat, and giant fingernails, I'm not sure she can accomplish a thing. Oh, it's a Kardashian. Who gives a F.
Lori T Wisconsin 2 years ago
How do they wipe down there with those fake claws? Ouch!
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Lupita Nyong'heaux 2 years ago
those are hideous. are they made of play doh? cuz they look like they're made of play doh...
Jessica Nessman 2 years ago
Are those real? Seriously are they? I must have a pair in every color
Couldnt_find_a_decent_name 2 years ago
I think these are Loewes, you can get them from like $750- $1600 or something like that
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Upstaged75 2 years ago
As Kim seems to be trying to make herself in to a silicone mannequin I think they shoes are probably appropriate.
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Kenny Earthling 2 years ago
with the giant coat, shades and shoes, it looks like she's shrinking or wearing her mum's stuff
#48
Thomas Bentley 2 years ago
i would recommend on of those unspillable drinks carriers that you can carry and they are always stable to stand mugs on. or a thermos with a lid. or just having caffeine patches.
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foxgirl158 2 years ago
This but you drop a bobby-pin down your drain when you’re running late and then have a breakdown which subsequently makes you more late as shown by me yesterday night
LynzCatastrophe 2 years ago
Dropped a tiny bit of breakfast on my shirt just now. I calmly said "I'm going to pretend that didn't happen". There is now a red splotch on my white work shirt. We're doing great.
Timmy Pillinger 2 years ago
Turns out that unfashionably linoleum kitchen flooring makes ceramics last much longer. Even if you drop them they might not break
Load More Replies... corgiobsessed00 2 years ago
tripped up the stairs and spilled my monster, was a long and heart broken day.
Diana Patrão 2 years ago
I realised that when I dropped my pizza fresh off the oven, a couple of years ago. I cried really hard, and kept saying I really wanted that pizza.
#49
debrina blackmoon 2 years ago (edited)
Well, yeah-broke a hip yawning at 26!
Load More Replies... Auntriarch 2 years ago
One of the new people on the team said she was 22 in November. Another person did the sums and whispered oh god I'm old enough to be her mother. I said, just call me nanna....
Adele Maestranzi 2 years ago
I quit my job and went to college full time at age 32. One of my classmates (all 18-20 years old) said to me, "You're cool for your age!"
Ti Al 2 years ago
One of mine once asked when I met my husband. And when I told her gasped "oh wow, you can still fall in love at 29??????"
MurderMittens 2 years ago
A deacon at my church lost his wife, and fell in love at age 75. I was both shocked and delighted.
Load More Replies... Felicity Goddard 2 years ago
So funny 🤣 but, yeah, why not, if he's dumb enough to think like that then make the most of it ! 🤣
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Maryann Radulski 2 years ago
OK, this is absolutely the funniest. I was carded at 27 and thought"what an insult". Now the only cards they ask for is my health insurance cards and a picture id. The id is a great help as we are all wearing masks now. But hey, once a long time ago , I was carded and was insulted. Oh for those glorious days of youth. '""
Anna Stephenson 2 years ago
I mean it's awfully patronising, but I feel that with some thought, it could totally be leveraged to your advantage!
Printerman 2 years ago
I'm in I.T. When I hit 50 we hired a network tech who was 25. We already had a programmer who was 32, & another who was 28. They do not understand that I don't just pop up out of my chair and speed off down the hall when something comes up. These things take a second to plan or you risk throwing your back out. On the plus side, my late-teen kid is now shocked that I get most of their pop-culture references. It's like a parenting superpower that still doesn't make you cool.
#50
Valerie G. 2 years ago
now Paris has a baby....by a surrogate. Lindsay is married. and I have no idea what Britney is doing, although she too is married and no longer in a conservatorship under her father.
#51
waddles 2 years ago
apparently i spit in my parents’ real estate agent’s face when i was a young un
Chez2202 2 years ago
To be fair I doubt you’re the only person to do that to them. The only baby possibly, but not the only person.
Load More Replies... Upstaged75 2 years ago
This makes me sad since I took care of lots of babies back when I was a nanny. I loved them like they were my own and they probably don't remember me at all. :(
Lakota Wolf 2 years ago
Actually, OP's tweet is grammatically correct. Your "fix" is grammatically incorrect.
Load More Replies... #52
Keyrara Sanchez Michael 2 years ago
All this needs is a Deadpool symbol painted on the bottom and / or maybe the sides
Lil Potato 2 years ago
if somehow i get a pool when a grow up, im doing this with it and no-one can stop me
Lyone Fein 2 years ago
Wow. I was just thinking about this the other day. Right after wondering if I would ever be in the position to afford a pool.
#53
Lynn Morello 2 years ago
I sent money to my daughter across the country, Two minutes later I got a call from the bank, checking on fraudulent transfers.
Cold Eagle 2 years ago
Buying stationary at WHSmiths. I always buy stationary, nothing was strange about me doing so. Nightmare of a week that was.
Robert McKenzie 2 years ago
Who buys a mattress at 2am? If your bed is c**p, then buy a NEW one during daylight hours!
#54
Upstaged75 2 years ago
Same. My morning soda is how I bribe myself to get out of bed every day. (I don't like coffee but need the caffeine) On Saturdays I reward myself for making it through the week with chicken nuggets. :)
Load More Replies... Zelda Fitzgerald 2 years ago
And then later an $18 bottle of wine for dealing with any minor annoyance
Robert McKenzie 2 years ago
Sorry, but I cannot find fault with that, except you COULD make coffee at home!
#55
Couldnt_find_a_decent_name 2 years ago
Now I’m gonna go eat my corn dogs alone and be sad about it
Ivana Bašić 2 years ago
And without a girlfriend you can just keep both corndogs for yourself.
Unnamed Hooman 2 years ago
Or with me as a girlfriend. I’m allergic to corn 😭
Load More Replies... Robert McKenzie 2 years ago
Aussie here. So WTF are 'corn dogs' and what is so great about them? I feel I am missing out!
#56
Robert McKenzie 2 years ago
A great way to get over the breakup, but NOT a good way to start a new relationship. Sounds too much like a rebound relationship; they (almost) never work. But have fun in the meantime!
#57
Couldnt_find_a_decent_name 2 years ago
I wanted to be a massage person (i can never remember what theyre actually called) when i was younger so my mom didn’t have to make me lol
Robert McKenzie 2 years ago
At least you were given $20 in Monopoly money! I gave my mother foot rubs for nothing because I loved her and wanted to repay some of the love and care she gave to me.
Annita Stephanou 1 year ago
I trick my daughter into allowing me 15m naps by playing doctor and in-patient
Alejandra Lima 2 years ago
I always made my little sister play the "Little Cinderella" game, where she did everything I wanted. She was such a happy servant XD
#58
PattyK 2 years ago
But affect can also be a noun and effect a verb. Isn’t English fun?
Load More Replies... I'm Izzy and I'm busy 2 years ago
Umm, auto correct. My mum's an english teacher, I got dux all throughout school, and I still can't work this one out.
#59
Do-nut touch da donut 2 years ago
Samee.... still have my recorder actually.
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alwaysMispelled 2 years ago
Yes, recorders all around at least 1-2 years before they'd give out the "real" instruments
Anna Stephenson 2 years ago
YES!- and it came in handy at uni- I had a college dorm neighbour who was trying to learn how to play this exact song , for DAYS I had to suffer through listening to her try to play it and failing, so I took my passive aggressive a*s to her room and asked if I could "have a go!?"..........and played the song flawlessly first time- see- it DID come in useful- my teachers didn't lie to me!
Upstaged75 2 years ago
Yes absolutely. You could tell that the poor music teacher wanted to rip out his ear drums when it was that time of year where everyone practiced on the recorders.
#60
#61
Charlotte 2 years ago
I would shave six layers off my shins every time my inflexible a*s tried to gracefully get into that thing.
Gavin Johnson 2 years ago
That’s going to suck the heat out of your water in a very short space of time. You’ll have to get crazy hot underfloor heating to keep it heated. I know that’s removing some of the joy from the post, sorry ‘bout that.
#62
Marie Dahme 2 years ago
Cool…now I don’t have to rotate fresh batteries out of the tv remote for my erm, well …oh never mind.
Robert McKenzie 2 years ago
OK, that is NOT FUNNY or even amusing. That is outright payback; NOT appropriate at Xmas.
#63
Paloma Vita 2 years ago
I can see four options: Inherit, marry rich, sugar daddy, win the lottery (and learn to manage it)
Load More Replies... Robert McKenzie 2 years ago
Sadly., I so *absolutely* understand your point of view! If only my income matched my vision!
#64
Francesca Annoni 2 years ago
My husband ..wakes up an hour earlier than me..goes running, takes a shower makes breakfast and then he wakes up me and the kids...I'm very very lucky...
#65
#66
Couldnt_find_a_decent_name 2 years ago
I will lose sleep because of it, in case that’s comforting to you at all
Lil Potato 2 years ago
i will cry myself to a nightmarish sleep, dreaming about the time i complemented your hair and you didn't respond. It still haunts me to this day
all 4 paws 2 years ago
i stopped someone mid game today bc i thought i saw my friend with him once and when i asked he said "idk wtf you mean and who tf you are" still cringing 🥶
#67
Do-nut touch da donut 2 years ago
I havr had almost all the symptoms but have nottested positive🦥🍩
Load More Replies... Robert McKenzie 2 years ago
Same here! I thought I was 'long COVID' but it turns out I never had it, as far as tests can tell.
Ninette T 2 years ago
One of the symptoms/problems with long covid can be a rapid decline in antibody's, so you can't always find it in a regular bloodtest. It can be diagnosed based on your symptoms as well
Load More Replies... #68
Unnamed Hooman 2 years ago
Dang- I’m a teen and I just hate the taste of alcohol. Tastes like sharpies
readingthequibbler 2 years ago
I felt this. I'm only 19 and even sips of wine or beer I've had taste horrible. I'm very much good without
Load More Replies... #69
A Really Bored Panda 2 years ago
I was wondering that myself. It certainly looks like him.
Load More Replies... Robert McKenzie 2 years ago
Nope; lower salary with good sleep is better; so long as you can afford everything you need!
#70
Jessiebean 2 years ago
I live by this rule! That way when you come back from your holiday, you can continue to relax at home instead of having to clean.
Debbie 2 years ago
Correction: You only have to do the holiday laundry and tidying instead of that AND the house.
Load More Replies... Passerby 2 years ago
Well, at least you have a clean house, which might impress the burglars. The last thing you want is to make bad first impression on them.
Debbie 2 years ago
well it would be easier to see if a burgler has been there...
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Zuzana Andrejchová 2 years ago
Love this rule. We will come back at sunday evening and on monday i will be home alone with two babies and huge pile of luggages and dirty clothes... Clean kitchen and empty laundry basket make it much more easyer.
#71
Alejandra Lima 2 years ago
I have them at home!!! They grow so fast, this one had only 4 paws when I got it last year. Now it's giving me flowers :-) paws-63c48...cdd8b2.jpg 
#72
Lord Mysticlaw 2 years ago
I mean I don't really do social media but yeah, sometimes I totally want to let the haters of my past know that I am living my best life without them.
Alex S 2 years ago
That means they're still living rent free in your head, while they probably don't think about you at all.
Load More Replies... #73
Alex S 2 years ago (edited)
So what? Like cooks don't deserve validation because they haven't don't chef training? Maybe being told he's doing a good job is the kind of motivation Tyler needs to become a chef?
Hey! 2 years ago
Exactly. I say that in a diners too. I know it's not a Chef.
Load More Replies... #74
Dave Freeman 2 years ago
Standing outside his house and watching him sleep through the window every night doesn't count as dating Tia.
#75
Patricia Steward 2 years ago
Use less detergent than it says on the container, that will gum up your machine.
#76
heather7d@yahoo.com 2 years ago
Easy to get and when you’re a millionaire with a personal trainer and nothing to do but work out for six hours a day. As for me, I shall keep my abs hidden under a moderate layer of fat so as not to cause jealousy in others. It’s a public service.
Miranda Veracruz de la Joya Cardenal 2 years ago
When rich people are looking good is normally because they have aides.
#77
#78
Anna Stephenson 2 years ago
Literally ME!- I have so many different medical conditions AND Hay Fever- so Ive becoming a amateur hypochondriac these past couple of years!
Marci Rommal 2 years ago
Spouse has allergies to plants, dust, cat dander, and two or three other things. In the last three years, I have taken half a dozen COVID tests. Hubby has taken approximately 3 dozen.
#79
Petra Schaap 2 years ago
i dont understand people who never make their own meals. such a waste of money
Moosy Girl 2 years ago
I would do this, but by the time I get to the first store on my way home I have to pee so bad I just continue on home.
#80
Couldnt_find_a_decent_name 2 years ago (edited)
I dont know why this reminded me of getting a bottle of water and pouring some into the cap and taking “shots” as a kid lmao
Moosy Girl 2 years ago
At what age are you supposed to stop doing that? Asking for a friend…
Load More Replies... fair_weather_rose 2 years ago
Right now, he's probably slow dancin' With a bleached-blond tramp and she's probably gettin' frisky
#81
Gini Sarver 2 years ago
oh oh! on pinterest you can find really kool ways to us sheets & drop cloths as curtains 😁 finally someone to share that with…. ty
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#82
Lil Potato 2 years ago
ive seen both, and honestly El would win! She can explode you're brain!
Binny Tutera 2 years ago
I think they would both look around at those who made the bets, nod at each other, and proceed to decimate the crowd. Then go for shakes and fries.
Azure Adams 2 years ago
they would team up and become an unstoppable force that would wipe out humanity
#83
Veronica Tanglefoot 2 years ago
Never dyed my hair or had false nails. I might shave some areas maybe once a fortnight, that's as far as I'm willing to go.
Liz Orreo trex ago go 2 years ago (edited)
Yes. The white hair roots are getting long and I don't wanna dye my hair again!!!FYI hair is really odd combination of colours without dye( maybe a chimera) so cannot grow out looks like a brindle holstein/piebald roan tricolour.
Jilltdcatlady 2 years ago
Mine is also like that naturally. And stick straight. A hairdresser once remarked that her clients pay hundreds to get what I walk out of the shower with.
Load More Replies... Violet Jensen 2 years ago
Me, 80% of the time: I’m a feral forest witch training waterfowl with no time for hair or nails. The other 20% of the time there’s some chick I want to impress 😭
InvincibleRodent 2 years ago
Sometimes, I do find myself wondering if this is just IT for the rest of my life. If I just.... have to bathe, wash my hair, DRY my hair, brush my teeth, cook, eat, and go to the bathroom at certain time intervals, for the rest of my life. Maintaining an appropriately clean and healthy flesh-vessel is sometimes exactly like a crappy survival video game...
Annita Stephanou 1 year ago
Yes, and gave up. Why do it if it gives me more stress than pleasure?
#84
#85
#86
Jay TheSaltLord 2 years ago
Individually, I understand most of those words. Together, I am completely lost. Marshalls is a mobile car battery replacement service here, I'm assuming it's not that in the US.
Cinnamon 2 years ago
Marshall’s and TJ Maxx are stores that carry clothes and home goods, often at a discount for brand names.
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Cinnamon 2 years ago
These are two stores that sell clothes and home goods. Random stuff but pretty decent prices. It’s hit or miss if you will find something you want since the stock they carry varies.
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#87
Janey Considine 2 years ago
Both. I found my bio family a few years ago with that DNA website.
Hey! 2 years ago
Me too. But my oldest brother said (she passed since) "our mother" and most of us just said "mother".
Load More Replies... Hey! 2 years ago
When I used to have bouts of PMS, my youngest son would say to his dad "your wife is acting weird again" - I'm his mother, he came from my womb.
Load More Replies... Alecto76 2 years ago
I was recently found by a lady that my mom gave up for adoption many years before I was born. She is my lovely half-sister (we have different dads). I try to say mom or our mom, because I want her to know she is part of my family. She says "our mom," which is understandalbe. And a few times I said our dad, which is just because I get confused.
InvincibleRodent 2 years ago
My partner tends to say "our mom", meaning his and his brother's mom, my MIL, even when talking to me. It can sound kinda funny if someone happens to overhear us, lol.
Léandre Merceron 2 years ago
We call her by her nickname! Like adult nickname. Her name is Patricia and since her teenage years people are nicknaming her Patou. When I speak to her I say mom. When I speak about her to my family I call her Patou 😂 and everybody does the same.
Annika Traritrara 2 years ago
Before going no contact: THE mum. It's a Bavarian thing. After: her first name.
#88
J 2 years ago (edited)
I got through season 1 with family and every. episode. was. the. same. I’m down for one Night of the Living Dead but WD almost turned ME into a zombie. I realize we’re alone in our opinion. 🙃
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Morris Goodenough 2 years ago
I think it was season 5 when the main group split up and viewers had to follow half a dozen storylines each episode. It was just too much.
#89
J 2 years ago
I had way more luck than brains. Absolute miracle I’m here today.
Load More Replies... Upstaged75 2 years ago
When I was 16 I wanted to see the max speed my mom's minivan could go. I managed to get it up to 100 miles per hour while my friends were screaming "faster" from the back seat.. (No, mom was not with us) It terrifies me that I might run in to my former self on the road some day. I'm not sure how I'm still alive. We were SO stupid.
#90
Liz Orreo trex ago go 2 years ago
That is freaky, the best looking man is not the best looking woman...hmmm
InvincibleRodent 2 years ago
Like a mixture of Anne Hathaway and Aubrey Plaza to me!
Load More Replies... #91
#92
#93
Chrissie Anit 2 years ago (edited)
Wow. That's incredibly condescending. Weight doesn't define worth.
Rostit . 2 years ago
Thats so wrong. Her voice is fine. What do physics have to do with it?
Load More Replies... #94
Sue User 2 years ago (edited)
Claiming that money. Never had ballons as a kid. Remember how you used to stretch the neck while letting the air out and it made a " wheee" sound ? So apparently that sounds like a bomb dropping and the pop is same sound of flash grenade. Having parents who lived through wars changes things.
Violet Jensen 2 years ago
I work in the party business. If I see number balloons outside of work I’ll vomit
#95
Aunt E 2 years ago
Wanna grab a drink together? I'll let you watch me order at least 3
Load More Replies... Carol Emory 2 years ago
Did you know if you take all five flavors of White Claw and mix them together you get a drink called Tiger's Blood. It tastes like Starburst with the wrappers still on and pairs nicely with Felony Trespassing.
#96
Julia Mckinney 2 years ago
Frankly, I think she traded up when she dated Pete Davidson. He's nice, rescued a Long Island ferryboat, loves his mother, doesn't insult an entire race or religion just for kicks and still likes to hang out with his buddies in his old neighborhood.
Miranda Veracruz de la Joya Cardenal 2 years ago
Please let's stop paying attention to stupid people.
Jessiebean 2 years ago
Poor Kim. Imagine listening to Kanye rant about all sorts of things for years! And then having to pretend that they make sense and you’re on their side. Otherwise, they will go off on you being their “enemy” or some other c**p.
Alex S 2 years ago
I feel bad for her, but at the same time, her mother has basically commercialised every aspect of her life, including get relationships. I doubt there was anything more to their marriage than "how can we make the most amount of money possible"?
Load More Replies... #97
Marci Rommal 2 years ago
I have a very short neck and turtlenecks make me look more like a fireplug than I already do.
Jilltdcatlady 2 years ago (edited)
It was okay, until I grew a neck that didn't fit in the tiny choking tube! And if I got hot, well, death was imminent.
#98
#99
#100
alwaysMispelled 2 years ago
But that would've get your phone lit up, draining the battery, tsk tsk
Mac 2 years ago
Yeah, but a single charge on those phones lasted 8 days and nights.
Load More Replies... Marie Dahme 2 years ago
Can I get an upvote for all my pandas who miss their old Motorola Razr?
Add New Image
What do you think ?
just lilli 2 years ago
About 90% of these weren't about womanhood, but about everyday situations.. that also men can relate to. Maybe consider changing the title?
Beruthiel45 2 years ago
Yes. BP is getting very lackadaisical about appropriate titles.
Load More Replies...
Steve Ramaekers 2 years ago
Most have nothing to do with the topic of the post and this post is a repeat repeat repeat. Grr
ZeroCapacity 2 years ago
Sad thing is I have seen more then half of these in other "lists". The bot that runs this place is getting stupid again.
Load More Replies... Danish Susanne 2 years ago
When reading this post it occurred to me, that women often complain of their clothes having no or much too small pockets. This could be a conspiracy to keep women down, because they will then need to carry handbags to carry what they need and be at a disadvantage, with just one free hand (I use a bag with a long strap, so I carry it on my left side and on my right shoulder because I like to have my hands free).
Jude Laskowski 1 year ago
I wear dark colored nurse scrub pants because they have lots of pockets and are easy to wash.
Load More Replies...
sys wed 2 years ago
The basic components of a typical coffee maker include a water reservoir, a coffee filter or pod holder, a heating element, and a carafe or coffee pot. To brew coffee, water is poured into the reservoir, and coffee grounds are placed in the filter or pod holder. When activated, the coffee maker heats the water, and it drips or is forced through the coffee grounds, extracting the flavors and aromas from the beans. The brewed coffee then flows into the carafe or coffee pot below, ready for consumption. https://dripcaffeine.com/
just lilli 2 years ago
About 90% of these weren't about womanhood, but about everyday situations.. that also men can relate to. Maybe consider changing the title?
Beruthiel45 2 years ago
Yes. BP is getting very lackadaisical about appropriate titles.
Load More Replies... Steve Ramaekers 2 years ago
Most have nothing to do with the topic of the post and this post is a repeat repeat repeat. Grr
ZeroCapacity 2 years ago
Sad thing is I have seen more then half of these in other "lists". The bot that runs this place is getting stupid again.
Load More Replies... Danish Susanne 2 years ago
When reading this post it occurred to me, that women often complain of their clothes having no or much too small pockets. This could be a conspiracy to keep women down, because they will then need to carry handbags to carry what they need and be at a disadvantage, with just one free hand (I use a bag with a long strap, so I carry it on my left side and on my right shoulder because I like to have my hands free).
Jude Laskowski 1 year ago
I wear dark colored nurse scrub pants because they have lots of pockets and are easy to wash.
Load More Replies... sys wed 2 years ago
The basic components of a typical coffee maker include a water reservoir, a coffee filter or pod holder, a heating element, and a carafe or coffee pot. To brew coffee, water is poured into the reservoir, and coffee grounds are placed in the filter or pod holder. When activated, the coffee maker heats the water, and it drips or is forced through the coffee grounds, extracting the flavors and aromas from the beans. The brewed coffee then flows into the carafe or coffee pot below, ready for consumption. https://dripcaffeine.com/
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