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It has been said numerous times, and it bears repeating: posting your children’s photos and other private information online is strongly not recommended and downright dangerous. On the other hand, sharing every now and then in what ways exactly parenting is not going the way you expected it to can be a good way to release the pressure and even appreciate your kids more. And what better place to do it but Twitter! Funny parent tweets have become a genre of their own, and a popular one too.

From funny to endearing to absolutely savage tweets, parents keep entertaining the online population of Twitter. Interestingly, tweets on life as a parent are a source of inspiration not only for parents but also for people who are still considering having kids or maybe even have firmly decided to stay childfree, because we can all use some humor in our life. So if you’re spending your Friday searching for the funniest tweets from parents this week, we totally get it, and also, we’ve got you covered.   

Below you will find the best of Twitter in parenting humor. Enjoy it, share it with your friends, and of course, let us know which ones you liked the most. If you are a parent, show us your funniest tweet, and if you are a child whose parents post on Twitter — believe me, you’ll appreciate having funny parents when you get older.

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    #5

    Funny-Tweets-About-Kids

    graysonl3 Report

    Margaret H
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Princess Pepperoni of Plockwurst, you win the prize!

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    #6

    Funny-Tweets-About-Kids

    Dad_At_Law Report

    Robert B
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I used to answer the phone pretending to be an answering machine. My dumbass cousin would leave a message and hang up before I could stop her. Every single time. She’s still alive, so I have to assume she’s doing better.

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    #12

    Funny-Tweets-About-Kids

    BunAndLeggings Report

    Cindy Brick
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Husband, also an engineer (P.E.) was told to stop helping with our daughters' homework -- according to the teachers, he was teaching them too many shortcuts. I, on the other hand (an English major), was told to stop helping, as well -- because I didn't know what I was doing. (They were right, by the way.)

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    #18

    Funny-Tweets-About-Kids

    NewDadNotes Report

    Alice Teasdale
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Realistically, living remotely as she does, shed have to shop online

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    #19

    Funny-Tweets-About-Kids

    deloisivete Report

    Remi (He/Him)
    Community Member
    2 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Now I need to know too! Kid asking them important questions Edit: They do a cute hopping thing it seems, check it out https://laughingsquid.com/penguins-hopping-down-stairs/

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    #21

    Funny-Tweets-About-Kids

    threetimedaddy Report

    pink_panda
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Nooooo anything but the consequences of my own actions coming back to bite me!

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    #25

    Funny-Tweets-About-Kids

    mommajessiec Report

    Panda Kicki
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Like what will happen when Sky grows up a bit and goes into heat...?

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    #27

    Funny-Tweets-About-Kids

    cat_beltane Report

    Tim
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    What happened to the "children know to handle an egg gently" stuff?

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    #36

    Funny-Tweets-About-Kids

    Dad_At_Law Report

    Jods
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I still can’t resist the urge to blow a raspberry down the empty tube at the cats.

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    #37

    Funny-Tweets-About-Kids

    mommajessiec Report

    Phoenix(or nix)they/them
    Community Member
    2 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My older sister is pregnant and her name is preggo spaghetti sauce in my phone for the time being 😂 Update: She is no longer pregnant and we have custody of her kid. I can't even be in the same room as her, I am so disgusted.

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    #41

    Funny-Tweets-About-Kids

    mom_tho Report

    pink_panda
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Same for being an auntie who doesn't like to play pretend... I do my best!

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    #42

    Funny-Tweets-About-Kids

    LizerReal Report

    all 4 paws
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yay shes educated!! 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈

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    #45

    Funny-Tweets-About-Kids

    brian_sack Report

    K W
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My kid now prefaces all questions about the future with "if you're still alive". Doesn't matter when you have a kid, whether before age 20 or after 40, they're going to make you feel old.

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    #46

    Funny-Tweets-About-Kids

    themultiplemom Report

    Bobby
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I used to ask for a boy cheese sandwich because I didn't want a girl cheese sandwich. My mom had a mickey and Minnie mouse waffle iron that she would use to makethat happen

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    #49

    Funny-Tweets-About-Kids

    BtSquared2 Report

    C C
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    hard to reason with that

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    #54

    Funny-Tweets-About-Kids

    IHideFromMyKids Report

    Jods
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My cousins 8 year old refuses to wear any leg coverings that have a zip since getting his poor wily caught in one.

    #55

    Funny-Tweets-About-Kids

    notmythirdrodeo Report

    Na Schi
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Why not telling your child, that the sharks in the aquarium are fed so well they won't eat the other fish and also take this as a first educational opportunity to gently introduce your kid to the concept that carnivores do exist and that this is absolutely intended by nature (exclude humans if you like).

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    #56

    Funny-Tweets-About-Kids

    ChuckWendig Report

    pink_panda
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Ooh kid, I feel you. A certain episode from 2017 still keeps me up at night. And so ends my comedy career!

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    #57

    Funny-Tweets-About-Kids

    briangaar Report

    cadena kuhn
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    No need my parents were poor af and I still made bad documentarys

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    #59

    Funny-Tweets-About-Kids

    internetalena Report

    Mommy Panda
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Until what age do kids go to nursery school that they can actually write...?

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    #60

    Funny-Tweets-About-Kids

    kevinthedad Report

    Philly Bob
    Community Member
    2 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My daughters when they were 4 and 5, approached me about my bowl of 3 alarm chili that a friend had made. I couldn't convince them it was hot... sooooo... I gave them some. They got this real strange look on their faces, ran to the kitchen to ask Mom for some milk then ran back and asked for more. My girls, now 36 & 37, absolutely love spiced crabs, chili, hot mustard etc. Me? I love it going in but at my age, coming out leaves MUCH to be desired!

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    #63

    Funny-Tweets-About-Kids

    AnAppleHat Report

    Chrissyfox
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The year is 1987. We have driven overnight in our old VW bus and arrive at Gretna Green (Scotland) in time for breakfast. Our 16 month old gets offered a jar of baby food, from which she has never been fed in her life. So we order a toasted current bun. Man, those things can fly! Ultimate Frisbee watch out. The force is strong in this one.

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    #65

    Funny-Tweets-About-Kids

    thebobpalmer Report

    Gourdeous
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Be honest, you were mainly envious you can't do that without getting in trouble...

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    #66

    Funny-Tweets-About-Kids

    deloisivete Report

    Jaya
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    When's your meeting gon' be over, falalalalalalalala

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    #69

    Funny-Tweets-About-Kids

    maryfairybobrry Report

    Chrissyfox
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I remember with great nostalgia my youngest child's last day ever of school and being picked up at the bus station for the final time. TWENTY THREE years of dropping off or collecting a child from school sadly ended.

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    #70

    Funny-Tweets-About-Kids

    SnarkyMommy78 Report

    Na Schi
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Please don't downvote: but the first thing that springs to my brain is "AITA for telling my MIL not being so demanding with our meals, when she ate none of it?"

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    #74

    Funny-Tweets-About-Kids

    emilyfavreau Report

    Delta Dawn
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    and there’s a gap where kids’ sizes becomes adult sizes when you cannot get anything in their actual size, at least for girls

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    #75

    Funny-Tweets-About-Kids

    krystaunclear Report

    April Caron
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This exists! It starts the minute they return to school in January and doesn’t end until winter break starts.

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    #79

    Funny-Tweets-About-Kids

    IHideFromMyKids Report

    ShaZam Beaubien
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    not too many station wagons on the road. That was a legitimate assumption.

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    #81

    Funny-Tweets-About-Kids

    fullofmomsense Report

    JoMeBee
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Not really. You now have extra fancy burp cloths!

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    #83

    Funny-Tweets-About-Kids

    kidversations_ Report

    Interesting_Astronaut
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    You've heard of the elf on the shelf, prepare for monkey on a donkey

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    #85

    Funny-Tweets-About-Kids

    MumOfTw0 Report

    Alice Teasdale
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Time to give the birthday kid an air horn as a birthday present

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    #86

    Funny-Tweets-About-Kids

    TheCatWhisprer Report

    Cindy Brick
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Hey, the next generation of punsters holds forth!

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    #88

    Funny-Tweets-About-Kids

    ElyKreimendahl Report

    James016
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    When we are in the car, we have Only Love Can Hurt Like This by Paloma Faith on repeat as it’s the only song my son will listen to. He loves it

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    #90

    Funny-Tweets-About-Kids

    bessbell Report

    Lucy Cope
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    *cough cough* Dora the Explorer *cough cough*

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    #91

    Funny-Tweets-About-Kids

    dadmann_walking Report

    Jods
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Relatives have tried this on me and then showed surprise when I told them what to do with their festivities.

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    #98

    Funny-Tweets-About-Kids

    AnAppleHat Report

    April Caron
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    True story: my grandmother used to tell us there was a Christmas tree alligator that lived under our presents… we couldn’t touch them or anything near the tree or he might bite us. I simultaneously thought my older cousin was both brave and I was gonna watch his hand get bitten off (and I’d be able to refer to him as Captain Hook afterwards). I’m embarrassed to say how old I was before I realized that alligator didn’t exist.

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    #99

    Funny-Tweets-About-Kids

    reallifemommy3 Report

    Delta Dawn
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I used to have to do a full body check for stickers before leaving the house

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    #102

    Funny-Tweets-About-Kids

    ohmyyjess Report

    Jilltdcatlady
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    A lock box like realtors use. Bolted one to my house and kept a spare house key and car key. The closest person i trusted with one lived an hour away. Best damm 30$ I ever spent!

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    #105

    Funny-Tweets-About-Kids

    mom_tho Report

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    #112

    Funny-Tweets-About-Kids

    KatieDeal99 Report

    JalaPeno
    Community Member
    2 years ago (edited)

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    This is so unfunny. Poor kid. "Hahaha, my kid is growing up around alcoholics! Sooo funny!" 😡

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    #113

    Funny-Tweets-About-Kids

    SydneyPartridge Report

    all 4 paws
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    i saw this is from 2018 and now im crying bc that was five years ago and i cant accept that

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    #114

    Funny-Tweets-About-Kids

    jacanamommy Report

    Jilltdcatlady
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Every time I'm in a store and I hear that noise I thank God I never had kids.

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    #121

    Funny-Tweets-About-Kids

    MeatballSquad Report

    Crazy Dog Lady
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I've never seen a tweet make me feel so old, I was one of the teachers with the new smart board.

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    #122

    Funny-Tweets-About-Kids

    reallifemommy3 Report

    Delta Dawn
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yeah see, it doesn’t get better after 18 years. It somehow keeps getting worse, just in different ways.

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    #126

    Funny-Tweets-About-Kids

    HomeWithPeanut Report

    Chrissyfox
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My kids just call him THE KING OF CHEESE.

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    #128

    Funny-Tweets-About-Kids

    MumOfTw0 Report

    Michael Reed
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Cute idea, hidden in their bedroom.

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    #130

    Funny-Tweets-About-Kids

    MsRade92 Report

    Donnie Mc00
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    fyah fi dat - Caribbean Dictionary 1: An expression used to signify disapproving judgment of an act or thing by calling down or wishing hellfire on the target of disapproval.

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