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While “texting” used to mean sending SMS messages, the term has been expanded to cover really most messaging services that many of us use on a daily basis. Fortunately, the word “texting” has pretty long legs and still does cover most of the things we might use it for. 

The “Funny Texts” Facebook page is dedicated to both the amusing messages that people have sent and relatable memes in general. So get comfortable as you scroll through, upvote your favorites, and be sure to comment your thoughts below. 

More info: Facebook 

#1

Funny-Relatable-Texts

itsmeloly_ Report

Ray Ceeya (RayCeeYa)
Community Member
1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That one hits me hard. Watched it happen to my Great Grandmother. I suspect it runs in the family so she won't be the last.

I_imagine_even_worse_w***s
Community Member
1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Saw it affect 3 generations of my own family. It definitely contributed in the reason I decided not to have kids It's a devastating disease.

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Blue Bunny of Happiness
Community Member
1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I remember my Nana who had dementia, asking when I visited her, “Do I belong to you?”. When I told her that indeed she did and that I loved her, she replied, “I thought I did.” Darn near broke my heart. Dementia is an evil disease.

CSC
Community Member
1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That is so beautiful. My grandmother once asked the hospital staff to say thank you to the nice girl that sat with her. It was me.

Mrs.C
Community Member
1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Living through this right now. Somedays my grandma remembers the purple boots she gifted me 20 years ago. Sometimes she knows I work in a school. Sometimes she remembers I have kids. Sometimes she only remembers I help take care of her and she loves me for it.

Jason
Community Member
1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Man Alzheimer's is so rough.

quentariel
Community Member
1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I lost my gradma to alzheimer's. She had it for six years before passing away. It was heartbreaking for all of her loved ones, but what helped a bit was that she recognized us till the end. I mean not our names or who we exactly were, but her eyes always lit up when we came.

Kaye
Community Member
1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My mama died from this horrific disease 3 years ago. We had this conversation a few times. 😭

Alicia M
Community Member
1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My sweet aunt managed a jewelry store for years, and after she got alzheimer's, she constantly thought the nurses station was the jewelry counter and she was helping customers. Funny how memories work.

Susan Bosse
Community Member
1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My grandmother says this. It's endearing and heartbreaking at the same time.

Mary Gaynor
Community Member
1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My aunt had dementia and she would say "i don't know who you are but I am so happy to see you."

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    #2

    Funny-Relatable-Texts

    iqra_tweets_ Report

    Surenu
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Trashing my facebook account was one of the most liberating things I ever did.

    Nano Iders
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I love when Instagram tries to guilt trip you into following people. "X and 50 others follow you but you don't follow them back". They should add "don't you think that's a little unfair mm-mmh?".

    Riley Quinn
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I have a FB account just to use to sign into other online accounts. Part of the reason I hate FB is their dumb suggestions to befriend strangers. Hell, I don't even know the names of the people who live on the same floor as me, and I've been here for a few years.

    Miki
    Community Member
    1 year ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I don't know at least 95% of suggestions...

    ZGutr
    Community Member
    1 year ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    They KNOW you know them (some idiots do say "yes please! look in my email/addresbook") .... not 'connecting' is also valuable info the use in their profiling.

    Rinoboyrich
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Facebook should have an option that says “Mind your own damn business, facebook!”

    Viv Hart
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I do so agree with you, I will choose my own friends, thank you!

    Janice Seagraves
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The first time I used the block feature on Facebook was when someone I knew but didn't like tried to friend me.

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    #3

    Funny-Relatable-Texts

    aaronadams1997 Report

    Kurichfield
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    cheeseburgers are also healthier than crystal meth! One more double-double animal style, please!

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    DoNotGoGentleIntoThatGoodNight
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Bonus tip...if you don't cut that cheesecake, it only counts as one slice!

    Nikki Gross
    Community Member
    1 year ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That is very good and I'll remember it when I cut into the one in my fridge! 😁

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    Hanz
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Always thankful for cheesecake 😋

    BarBeeGirl
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Looks like I picked the wrong week to stop doing heroin

    Lotekguy
    Community Member
    Premium
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    How are things going at the Lloyd Bridges Fan Club?

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    GoldfishCrackers
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    On a serious note, I think about this when feeding my kids. Could this meal be “more healthy”, “have more green”, etc? Sure. But it’s fine, they’re fine, and I’m grateful we can eat.

    Red Panda
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    True... and it's healthier than crystal meth.

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    Julia Mckinney
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    But I'd lose more weight with crystal meth! (and teeth, my house, my marriage, my kids...)

    cj be like
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I've always wanted to try cheesecake- how is it?

    Alicia M
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Lately, I've been doing the "I eat whatever I want because I eat one time a day" method.

    Nikki Gross
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This is a method that I've also been using 😁

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    The core of a good meme, beyond humor or creativity, is that kernel of relatability. Richard Dawkins, who coined the phrase meme, envisioned it as a viral idea that spread from person to person much like a virus. However, what he didn’t expect was the fact that much of this information would center around humor and that the internet is an incredibly potent vector for “infection.” 

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    Part of the appeal is that the ideas carried by the meme either focus on a shared experience or emotion or work with familiar information and context. This comes from the high degree of intertextuality that memes possess. After all, we can generally understand the situations depicted in memes through our own life experiences, other memes, or just general knowledge of the world. 

    #4

    Funny-Relatable-Texts

    danielmarven Report

    Jeff White
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Now that's fair. Best clear headed thinking solution.

    Lupita Nyong'heaux
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    that whoooooshing sound you hear is the joke going over the heads of a lot of people in this comment section. LOL

    NutsnB0lts
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Or you could have...idk told people to leave...like an adult

    Riley Quinn
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I would organize and plan parties, but never at my house. That way, I could duck out when I got tired. After moving all my stuff into a new place, I threw a massive party in the empty house I was renting from a slumlord. Didn't care what happened.

    Demolition Lover (He/him)
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My autistic a$s asking my parents to make my friends go home because I'm socially burnt out.

    John George
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "It's not really a party unless the cops come."

    Rob Williams
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Dean Martin used to do that a lot!

    Michael Largey
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    In Jesus's time, they let the guests know it was time to go by serving them the cheap booze.

    Ali Ball
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I’m going to try that next Christmas!

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    #5

    Funny-Relatable-Texts

    meMohinii Report

    SilverSkyCloud
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    i remember when i was a size uk 14 in pants, i used to hate it, now id be happy to be that size again

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    Tara Moov
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I feel this right in my flab

    Ilona Z
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I Wish. I thought I was fat at sixteen, when I was awesome, bit it was at 2000's...

    Rosie Red
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    When I was a teenager, I thought I was fat at 127 pounds. I would give a pinky finger to be 127 again.

    Vasana Phong
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Sad thing is, I’m currently at my pregnancy weight 😩

    Dan Flo
    Community Member
    1 year ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    According to my BMI, Im too short for my weight. So my goal is to get taller.

    Satya Bain
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yep, I'm halfway back to that weight now.

    Julia Mckinney
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'd settle for 10 years ago but would love to be the weight I was 20 years ago.

    ShyWahine
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    No truer words were ever said...

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    #6

    Funny-Relatable-Texts

    IntrovertProbss Report

    Laugh or not
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My cat is strictly indoor. Why would I go outdoor ?

    Riley Quinn
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Let's see. I could take a bus to the train, then walk a couple of blocks to watch a movie in a dark room filled with strangers sans refreshments because who can afford them and the ticket. Then afterwards, hoof it back to the train in the dark. Or, I can wait a month until it's online, watch it on my TV from the comfort of my recliner with a frig and toilet mere feet away. Decisions, decisions.

    Julia Mckinney
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Don't forget that you can just buy a tub of popcorn from the movie theater then take it home to eat in front of your TV there.

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    sbj
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    And you can get anything else you need delivered

    Rinoboyrich
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    “I only go out to get more stuff.”

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    At a certain point, memes have become self-referential. If you have ever had to explain a meme to an older relative or someone “less online,” you will know that internet lore is deep. Some memes require a person to understand multiple other references, just to understand the context needed to enjoy certain memes. 

    #7

    Funny-Relatable-Texts

    00prinzessin Report

    Chihuahua Mama
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It's always fun to get each other up to date about all the chaos that has happened in our lives in between chats

    Lame Llama
    Community Member
    1 year ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    But if you just lost a parent and can't reach them for comfort EVER, but they can always reach you when they need you, it's time to rethink the friendship.

    I’ll have a treble thanks.
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Real friends are there when you need them, and they know that you will be there for them. We don’t need to live in each other’s pockets.

    Helena
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm sorry, but no. Like every other relationship, it takes maintenance. Don't fall off the face of the earth and expect me to be there for you. I don't need to talk to people everyday, but for the life of me can't figure out how you call someone a friend you only communicate with on rare occasions. It isn't cute. It isn't admirable, it is neglectful. At that point, call them what they are. Acquaintances. Can you think of any other relationship in your life that you consider important, but don't consider it important enough to check in more often than twice a year?

    Olga Sushko
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I totally agree with that. If a "friend" doesn't remember about me for 6 months, do they need me in their life at all?

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    Papa
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I have three good friends. I've know one of them for almost 40 years, and the other two for over 50. We don't talk for months at a time, but that's okay. That wouldn't work for some people, but it works just fine for us.

    Auntriarch
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I lost touch with my best friend from school. In my 30s I got a letter, I recognised the writing. She came to stay with me, it was like the intervening 20 years hadn't happened. She's coming to visit again in May, we're in our 60s now. I'm smiling just thinking about it.

    Amy E
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Some folks are every day friends, some are once a year friends.

    Lotekguy
    Community Member
    Premium
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    A truly good friend understands and respects the frequency of content you want, and the reasons to change the pattern when something occurs.

    TheGoodBoi
    Community Member
    Premium
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My best friends and I talk maybe twice a year. When we do, it's like we just spoke yesterday.

    and_a_touch_of_the_’tism
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My best friend and I have a thing we do where if we feel like we haven’t talked enough, we send two questions, one fun/silly one, and one personal one. It works really well.

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    #8

    Funny-Relatable-Texts

    jayythewave Report

    Jeff White
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Every evening I fall asleep on the couch for about 30 minutes before I go upstairs to bed to fall asleep

    Vasana Phong
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The sleepiness feeling you get from the couch is different, when I was a kid I always did that to be rudely awakened by my siblings to go upstairs, I said to myself, “ when I get older and have my own place this won’t happen anymore “, now my husband says, you need to go upstairs “

    Marie Dahme
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It’s the pre bed nap. A Napatizer!

    Jack Burton
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    No kidding that is so much true. My best technique is going to bed saying myself i dont want to sleep, im gonna finish this book ! And i fall asleep in minutes... Brain is a b***h, like a kid he always wants the opposite. *Also work when you go out. Just say to yourself that you have to party till 2am ! And suddenly you are tired at 11pm.

    Terry Tobias
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I've read that that's a proven technique to fall asleep. You tell yourself that you're trying to stay awake and it tricks your brain.

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    Mabelbabel
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I've heard a pre-sleep nap referred to as a snore d'oeuvres.

    Rosie Red
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    True. When I go to bed my brain starts remembering stuff that happened when I was in first grade.

    Cecil
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I've been listening to the same book every night for a few years. It's a collection of stories and is 60 hours long so it doesn't get too monotonous... it's comfortable. I force myself to listen and I'm out. Without it to focus on my brain is bouncing off the walls.

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    ZGutr
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I don't know i'll sleep whenever and wherever i want but i'll ask my wife .... she should know

    Satya Bain
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Sitting up in a chair. I even tried to make my bed sit up (it's a temporpedic) but it didn't work.

    Audrey Martin
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My method of getting to sleep is to try to remember lists of things in alphabetical order. I never get to Z. I try not to remember some of the things that have happened in the past.

    brittany
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    or at your desk at work lol

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    #9

    Funny-Relatable-Texts

    The_Peach_Frog Report

    Jason
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Unfortunately my dog had her license revoked.

    LuckyL
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    At least she made an effort and got one first.

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    Anxious&Bored Bear
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My dog brings me joy; people bring me anxiety.

    ZGutr
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    When he is allowed on the bed, I turn to my left side. Two, three turns and he drops himself with his back firm against mine. Like me, he's warm, relaxed and breathe slowly. Almost nothing beats that time and feeling.

    Rebelliousslug
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I go and carry my 3 pups to bed every night. I sleep in a small sliver of bed to make sure they’re all comfortable. I’d sell a kidney if I needed to for one of them.

    PeePeePooPoo
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'd loan money from the mob for my dog.

    Id row
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yep, 'not allowed' does not matter to my cat. They have places to go and people to see. driving-ca...f4d39b.gif driving-cat-65c2855f4d39b.gif

    Jenna Kay
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My dogs love me unconditionally, they greet me, cuddle me, watch bad tv movies, etc. all without complaint ... and you want to know why I treat them like family?!!

    Nikki Sevven
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It's called FURniture for a reason.

    Jack Burton
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My cats sleep under my sheets, that's their bed and im here also.

    BookFanatic
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    And here I am feeling grateful my cats allow me to sleep on their bed and their couch....

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    #10

    Funny-Relatable-Texts

    Maxthepapi Report

    DoNotGoGentleIntoThatGoodNight
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That's because the day before, you can look forward to it. On the actual day, you are just panicking about how to spend it correctly.

    Tanya Venter
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    O yes! I love the evening before my day off

    Cyber
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The night before you have the day off is amazing.

    Robin DJW
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I have been retired for 7 years and I still have "Sunday Anxiety."

    InfiniteZeek
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    As a person who has a day off tomorrow, I am unusually giddy.

    Ron
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Looking forward to something usually ends up being more exciting than the something!

    Cecil
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That's been true for me on my last couple of trips. Maybe I should just pretend I'm going on a trip

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    ShyWahine
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yes - something to look forward to....

    BPisaddictive 🇮🇹 🤌
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    There is a famous italian poem (famous for us I mean, we study the author in school), Saturday at the Village (Il sabato del villaggio) written by Giacomo Leopardi, that narrates this sensation very well. Google it up if you're romantic or in a sad mood

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    #11

    Funny-Relatable-Texts

    erichoke Report

    Ray Ceeya (RayCeeYa)
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It's not the money going out to inconsequentials, it's the fact that every generation since the boomers has been consistently underpaid.

    Nikki Sevven
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    With a fresh university degree, my first job was...secretary. My rent was more than half my salary. It was 1985. The American Dream existed for exactly one generation, and that was only possible because of postwar prosperity and a top tax bracket of 90% for the entire decade of the 1950s.

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    Pam Page
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Whenever I am called a Boomer as a derisive device I try hard not to reply "Did you need something, renter?" Honestly, I am a Boomer who paid $35,000 for a Baltimore row house in a neighborhood that most "renters" wouldn't even consider. I had three roommates and never considered buying a bougie coffee because I had less than $20 per week for food and non-essentials. Interest rates were hovering around 16% and I was making less than $13,000. I recognize that things are tough, but they weren't a bed of roses for most Boomers.

    Rachel Batzer
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This logic is so wrong. That first 1200 invested 10 years ago in S&P 500 is 3600 today. The single ice latte is not the problem, the mentality that you don't need to save is.

    somnomania
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    unfortunately, investing isn't a thing pitched to post-boomer generations as a way to make money. i'm 37 and have never invested anything, and now i'm too poor to even consider it.

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    Verena
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    If it is only the espresso, enjoy it. Being able to buy your own place depends on a lot if factors. Your paycheck, of course, but your flexibility, too. Our papers are full with whiney stories of people not being able to find a house at one specific spot, because either too expensive or none on offer. However, in a circle of 30 km around that very spot there are more than enough nice and affordable places on offer. And no, they or their kids do not have special needs or other limiting factors. But they prefer crying in the papers instead of moving there and going on with their life.

    Sunflower Moon
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It's insane how many comments are here. It's not just the price of housing and wages. It's everything. Even if you are lucky enough to save enough for a down payment, it doesn't mean you qualify for a mortgage. It's hard enough to qualify for renting but owning is even more difficult. Everything costs more. And people from earlier generations were able to buy and have houses, something that later generations don't have the luxury of. And now it's even worse because current generations that are coming of age can't even afford to move out of their parents house because rent is so astronomical that working a full time job is not enough to even get into a studio.

    aniszondrauk
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Our down payment 2 yeara ago was exactly the double of tht, so if you put aside just a small amount and the amount of your "eapresso" or whatever your choice of hot or ice drink is you gonna get there! It's just you have to put aside that money and not impulse spend it. I was homeless when I was 23. Took me 15 years to get the money together for downpayment. But of course lot of people don't like the situation not having their own home at the age of 25. You have to work on it, it takes time, and you have to bring some sacrifices

    The Original Bruno
    Community Member
    1 year ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    FALSE!!!! 2.5% down, (that's doable, with mortgage insurance) would be $10,000 on a $400,000 home. If you can't buy even a condo in your metro area for $400,000, get the f**k out of your metro area. (There would be some other expenses, but then again, your investment after 10 years would probably be closer to $15K.)

    I'm a Jimmy
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I know. Maybe people should consider moving away from the outrageously expensive big cities on the coasts. Plenty of affordable areas throughout the US where the jobs are plentiful and the cost of living is low.

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    Riley Quinn
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Despite a rise in worker productivity, wages have stagnated since the 70's. Toss in inflation, and the dollar earned isn't covering what it did back then. But executive salaries, perks, and benefits have skyrocketed. Don't listen to the talking heads. It's not your espresso. It's greed at the top killing us.

    Ken Beattie
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It can be both. Telling people to spend whatever they want and blame the "executives" is not helpful. Review your spending for waste *as well*.

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    Mr. Nurse Man
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Honestly, it depends on what kind of house you’re trying to buy. And if you have the discipline to forego an espresso for a year, you could likely temporarily forego something else to reach your goal so quickly. Only taking a year to earn enough to put a down payment on a house is impressive. But you don’t have to totally deprive yourself of things you like, especially if there are less expensive alternatives that can help you reach your goal.

    quentariel
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    If it costs $5 to get me to function, that's a small prize to pay. Without that I'd be like a zombie a whole day and a zombie customer service worker wouldn't have a very long career.

    Ken Beattie
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The coffee one is brought up regularly because you can make coffee at home for a few cents. Same in many workplaces. We had free hot water, just needed a tin of instant coffee to make your own. Is it as nice as from a fancy coffee shop? Maybe not, but it gets the job done :P

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    #12

    Funny-Relatable-Texts

    soulmatethought Report

    Rebelliousslug
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Where do you ladies find these boyfriends? I need one of these!

    Michael Largey
    Community Member
    1 year ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    But when it becomes "Sorry, honey, but we knocked up your best friend" ....

    Tammilee Truitt
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    All I can say is lucky you, I mean y'all.

    Mattie
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    What the freak is this entry doing in this list?! It's neither funny nor relatable

    somnomania
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    and see my dad uses the royal "we" as in "we need to cut the dog's nails".

    Gypsy Lee
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It is. Almost as much as air.

    Nicola Mawson
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    And then I have to fix it myself anyway

    Nosirrow
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Sounds fake. Men ask you angrily: well, what is your solution?

    SleepyBunny
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    we say this all the time except when I'm talking to myself talking about ourselves

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    #13

    Funny-Relatable-Texts

    vanessaherl Report

    Wolf Black
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Damnnn I can see that being me 😂

    SparkDragon
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My husband and I do this all the time, but I'm normally in the toy section or looking at baked goodies. Sometimes I'll respond with "two bits", just to confuse matters.

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    3 Otters 🦦
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I put a Tile in my hobby’s wallet. In store location solved. Of course it just shows him at home or in a library the rest of the time.

    FaceTime Audio
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    When I was a toddler my mom would play this when I was taking a bath and she had to leave the room so she knew I hadn’t drowned, and I always responded with “Aunt [redacted]!” because Marco is my uncle’s name.

    Peter Trudell Jr
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Damn, that is me and my wife. Trust me folks, this is a thing.

    Lotekguy
    Community Member
    Premium
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    They seem like a fun couple. Good for them.

    Papa
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I like to wander around the grocery store telling people my wife is the one that's lost and I'm looking for her.

    Bamamom2boys
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My husband and I do that all the time in stores. Married 27 years!

    Ron
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Should have just gone to the wine section, I'm sure she would have shown up eventually 🍷

    Parmeisan
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I call my cat at night by saying "Polo!" It's not her name, but when she can't find us she goes around the house chirping and it sounds a lot like she's trying to Marco/Polo us. When we first got her she would lose track of us when we went to bed and she'd start the chirping routine, every single night. As soon as we said Polo she'd come racing in and jump up and lie on me. So now it's just how we do. 😂

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    #14

    Funny-Relatable-Texts

    mankersss Report

    arthbach
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My nephew heard of 'midnight feasts' and wanted to try one. My Mam was visiting and said the latest thing is the "7.29 feast". They planned all the wonderful things they would eat at 7.29. At 8pm, she tucked that very happy little boy into bed.

    Deborah B
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My grandma went with "Of course you can try to stay awake and see the new year in. Lie down on your bed and have a nice rest till then, though, so you're not tired and grumpy tomorrow. I'll come in and tell you when it's almost midnight, and if you're awake, you can get up and do the count down with us."

    Anna Meyers
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'd send the kids out with the babysitter and go to bed myself.

    tarryn norwich
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My parents did this on the regular: set the clocks ahead, throw a rager in the basement, and we would wake up to people passed out all over the house....

    Beachbum
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That is so awesome! So its like you still get to spend NYE with your kids, and but still get to go out, this really s genius!

    Murphy Pants
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Alexa would have none of that. Rotten robot

    Phoenix
    Community Member
    1 year ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Díck Clark never lied. We always watched the ball drop on tv. Edit : censorship.. it's a name, jeez.

    Yayheterogeneity
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That's what I did with my kids this year. Lol.

    Mr. Nurse Man
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Ought to work on most children until they have access to things like tablets or phones that connect to the internet.

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    #15

    Funny-Relatable-Texts

    Noorthevirgo Report

    Vasana Phong
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Now that I look back, I’ve been a procrastinator since elementary school 😱

    Ann Coffman
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I feel ya. I was the kid who faked a tummy ache to avoid the math test. My mom fell for it every time.

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    Jacob B.
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Don't put off tomorrow what you can put off until next week!

    Lotekguy
    Community Member
    Premium
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I can relate, but I'll provide further details sometime down the road.

    MaxMi
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Procrastination is the biggest scam you can make yourself fall into

    Auntriarch
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    She didn't mean to, but she did.

    River wolf (she/her)
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yeah, I’m gonna finish my painting I started 2 years ago

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    #16

    Funny-Relatable-Texts

    jayythewave Report

    setsuriseikou
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Not a native English speaker, but a ESL teacher, so had to spend some time trying to make sense of an article literally meaning "one" together with a plural noun.

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    Trophy Husband
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Somethings aren't meant to be found...

    Ray Ceeya (RayCeeYa)
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I keep meaning to slap an AirTag on my will to live but it's been missing for over a decade.

    Riley Quinn
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm not depressed, but I can get morbid, specifically pertaining to my death. I've accepted the fact that my bucket list will remain unchecked. I'm tired. And, for the time in my life, I'm experiencing genuine boredom, which is a horrible sensation. Every morning I wake up, my brain mutters, damn. As an existential nihilist, I endure life. Despite this, I make sure I laugh, I mean really laugh, a few times a day. Comedy is my crutch.

    A C
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    People have a routine?!

    Brian Droste
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Sometimes getting out of bed even though I am retired.

    Jack Burton
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Every damn morning when i open my eyes i just reconsider all my life.

    Rinoboyrich
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Convincing myself that the paycheck is worth going to work… today.

    Lynn Morello
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Getting up and moving after breakfast.

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    #17

    Funny-Relatable-Texts

    funnytextsss Report

    Clown fish
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My eldest isn't angry but he isn't a parent to my other children either

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    Tracy Wallick
    Community Member
    1 year ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I can't even pick mean dialog options in video games, this isn't even remotely true.

    Hey!
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This is generalized A LOT. My husband is the 1/5 and I'm 5/5 and he's not mean and neither am I. I should know, we've been together 35+ years.

    Jacob B.
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That's me. And my wife and I have no kids. My siblings are always mad at me for not helping out more now that we are all adults and say I abandoned them after I went to college. You bet your behind I did.

    two-sided llama
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    not in my family, my twin is the meanest but my two older sisters are very nice

    Jesha
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My older brother is snarkier, but I'm the first to go for the jugular. We team up beautifully.

    Beachbum
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I think this is true. My sister is the oldest of four kids. She said we are the reason she never wanted kids, and she never had kids, and I think she woud have made a great mother. I didn't know any better, my brothers totured me!

    Carole Clarke
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Until we lose our baby sister to dementia after nobody told us about it. Then we are heartbroken.

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    #18

    Funny-Relatable-Texts

    brown__hijabii Report

    Maikai
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Same! This helps me so much when the house is too messy!

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    Cerise Hood
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I have respect for people with glasses, they pay to be able to see the world.

    Not-a-Clue (she/her)
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I knew someone who had a deaf child. If she was being told off, or asked to do something she didn't want to do, rather than putting her fingers over her ears so she couldn't hear her mum, she would cover her eyes so she couldn't see her signing!

    nia not long
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Oh that is just amazing😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

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    Angrykitten
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I take out my hearing aids occasionally so I don't hear sometime anymore lol

    Lotekguy
    Community Member
    Premium
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    If she did that with contact lenses, you'd know you're really in deep do-do.

    Marie Dahme
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I do that with my hearing aids when I tell my friend I don’t have to listen to you.

    DoNotGoGentleIntoThatGoodNight
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This is like the equivalent of my grandad removing his hearing aid when he has had enough of hearing my nan talk

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    #19

    Funny-Relatable-Texts

    funnytextsss Report

    Mike F
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Don't get into a relationship with someone who you think needs to be "fixed" or changed. You deserve what you get if that is your aim. When you shop at Value Village/Goodwill you get what you get.

    Bella
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    And from my experience, if you take a broken guy and help him then it’s a waste of your time because you put in the work to help him and other girls take notice now that he’s all good and happy and he’ll realize there’s so many more options and drop you in a heartbeat

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    Jesha
    Community Member
    1 year ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Ugh, I'm too old to play Build a B***h with someone that lacks any emotional maturity. You'd be (maybe) shocked at how many dudes, the second my fiance died from alcoholism, wanted ME to come and save them from THEIR alcoholism. It was disgusting.

    Nikki Sevven
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    He will break you long before you fix him, sweetie.

    Anonymous
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Support a broken guy while he is getting therapy from a professional. If he won’t go to therapy, move on.

    WakandaPanda
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It's just your opinion that he's broken !

    Thundercuss
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    No one is a match for the crushing weight of life that shapes another person. You can help them, support them, and love them but fixing and changing can only be done by them and in their own time.

    Riley Quinn
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Take a broken person, fix them, and you've got a ready made person for the next relationship. We've all worked on our partner only to make them presentable to another. It's time we all raised our standards and walked on by to something that doesn't need fixing.

    Anagram margana
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    1983, 1996, 2008. I think I’ve learned my lesson.

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    #20

    Funny-Relatable-Texts

    aj_father_woo Report

    giku T
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    u wouldnt survive in the eastern culture..

    Pittsburgh rare
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I know for a fact l wouldn't. I hate high context cultures

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    Zobi123
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    If a lady is hinting that you need to leave her alone, leave her alone. She is probably afraid of being direct because it hasn't gone well for her in the past.

    Wondering Alice
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I get where this is coming from, but adults do drop diplomatic hints for all sorts of good reasons. Kids tend to be more direct in my experience. I might mention to someone with wiffy breath that I have just tried a different toothpaste, if it's really bad I go to the more obvious "here, take a mint". A kid is more likely to say "eww your breath stinks" and that is if they are polite.

    Patrick
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I too distain passive-agressiveness. But intentionally iignoring hints is also passive-aggressive. I've done it myself, so no judgement. However from experience, I think ideally the best way is to acknowledge the "hint" by directly engaging the person with the genuine intent of starting a dialogue. This can short-circuit assumptions made by both sides. Passive-aggressiveness can stem from a place of fear or anxiety, and initiating a genuine dialoge can help to reassure and de-escalate the person.

    Astro
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I don’t really like people like this. If you understand what I’m saying, don’t play dumb just to try to teach me some lesson. I’m probably hinting for a reason. Like maybe I’m uncomfortable, or what I’m hinting at is something that would hurt your feelings if said directly.

    Rocky Horror Panda
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I only wish I had this kind of intestinal fortitude.

    Riley Quinn
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I tend to get along well with Dutch and German people. They're not handsy, they fully understand personal boundaries, and they're brutally direct. I'm so in my element with these people. Here in the US, I'm written off as social awkward or aggressive.

    Somebodys grandmother
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I don't understand hints... and it's not purposely..... 🤷‍♀️

    ZGutr
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    not purposely ... I just don't see them. I'm a guy, just say what you want (and remember I have a right to refuse)

    DoNotGoGentleIntoThatGoodNight
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I do this too but it always backfires because confrontation gives me a panic attack.

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    #21

    Funny-Relatable-Texts

    funnytextsss Report

    Jason
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My wife went into labor on Labor Day. She took it quite literally.

    Cecil
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My mom labored with me for 40 hours including all 24 of Labor Day!

    Michael Largey
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Wait till he finds out about Mothers Day.

    cj be like
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    True! Gotta love them mothers who likely already have to deal with iPad kids.

    Jen
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Handmaid's Tale vibes...(book version)

    Nosirrow
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It is weird that in English these two things share one name.

    Fester Sixonesixonethree
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Your son is a kind and thoughtful guy. Keep him that way! Don't kill that in him!

    Rachel Mion
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I always told my children that it was my holiday.

    MotherofGuineaPigs
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I went in the day after Labor day. I wanted a longer weekend.

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    #22

    Funny-Relatable-Texts

    Pat_Lenz Report

    Virgin Panda
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Was in Lidl the other day and a woman was wondering where the lettuce was. I pointed and said "Iceburg deåd ahead" I couldn't resist myself. We both laughed so all was good 👍

    Pie
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I was serving a woman who was drinking Irish Breakfast Tea. When she was done I offered her more tea "I don't have any Irish breakfast tea but I do have English breakfast tea and some Jameson." Not even a smile.

    Terry Tobias
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    People don't have a sense of humor anymore. I think that was funny.

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    Beachbum
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I think that is really funny!

    Brent Amador
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    “That’s showbiz baby.” Has me rollin and idk why

    Michelle Reynolds
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    What do you call a cow with 3 legs? LEAN BEEF. What do you call a cow that's just had an abortion? Decalfinated!

    Jane Alexander
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I was just leaving the butcher counter when the next customer walked up, said "Those legs of lamb look good. How do they run" -and there I was, hysterical in the canned section and nobody else 'got it'.

    jmdirks
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This post is sooooooo old.

    Riley Quinn
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I would've laughed, but then I'm a sucker for puns and dumb humor.

    Lotekguy
    Community Member
    Premium
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm glad no Pandas are beefing about these puns... so far.

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    #23

    Funny-Relatable-Texts

    AbbyHasIssues Report

    Snorkeldorf
    Community Member
    1 year ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My mother also. Used to pick her up every Saturday for breakfast and shopping. Pulled in the driveway one beautiful summer day and she opened the door, holding her phone, saying "Oh...nevermind. She's here now." When she got in the car I asked who she was talking to and she said "The police." I asked WHY??? and she said because I was late and I was never late so she thought something happened. I replied that I had TOLD her I'd be late because I had a dentist appointment. She said "Ohhhh....that's right! Where do you want to go to eat?".

    Rocky Horror Panda
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My Mom dying is what stopped this from continuing to be true into my 50s.

    Wysteria_Rose
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My mom would always call after watching some evening show like Dateline or some murder case on TV. I'd always answer with "Nope, not murdered."

    DoNotGoGentleIntoThatGoodNight
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    And yet my own mother wouldn't even give a flying f*ck if my dead body was laying in a ditch for 3 years.

    Yettichild
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yup. Same. "Well, if I don't hear from the hospital, I'll assume you're okay." Said to me as a teen going to a college town to visit my sister over a holiday weekend.

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    Pamelot
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My beloved aunt called the Sheriff's Dept. for a Welfare Check on me after I did not call her for 2 of her calls to me. We live in very separated cities.

    Riley Quinn
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    When we were kids, we ran wild doing things that our parents would freak out if they knew. But once we were old enough for curfew, it was upheld or else phone calls to police and hospitals were made. But it was the sex, drugs, rock 'n roll 70's.

    MaxMi
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Unless I don’t hear a negotiator on a megaphone, all is fine

    Trophy Husband
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My mom hates phones almost as much as I do...

    Nosirrow
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I was hit by a car. Mother knew I rode my bike, it was January and it snowed after the accident. I have no friends and don't go to parties. She noticed I was gone at 1 am and sent me a f*****g email. Don't worry, months later I yelled at her about this so hard my throat hurt, but it was worth it. I hate her so much.

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    #24

    Funny-Relatable-Texts

    omgrelatabIe Report

    Mark
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The circle of life

    Kathleen Eddy
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It's the cycle of life. They had to do laundry

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    Bec
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Sometimes on the weekends I wonder how I am able to get up and function on the weekdays.

    CD Mills
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Changing into clean clothes after bathing is what you do! I can't imagine putting dirty clothes on after bathing. Yuck!

    Auntriarch
    Community Member
    1 year ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    *baths at 8pm* *changes into new calf length hoodie*

    sbj
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I aspire to this routine

    marnidarr
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Ah, the life of chronic pain... :-(

    somnomania
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    ah, the life of never leaving the house except like twice a month for a walmart pickup

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    #25

    Funny-Relatable-Texts

    tumbalicious05 Report

    sbj
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I have a guy Best friend and it works both ways

    MaxMi
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    We also made this joke with my ex when buying errands. If one of us saw someone hot, quickly ignored the other to leave room to socialize, just to appear unannounced "hi love I found the bread" and see them takeoff.

    Lotekguy
    Community Member
    Premium
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Priorities and limits encapsulated.

    Justme
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My roommate and I used to go hang out and tell people we were brother/sister

    Mike Rodrick
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Although, as is usually the case, he'll hold your hair back.

    Dane
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Going out with my lesbian girlfriend never ended that way - yea, I would absolutely look out for and protect her, but she was WAY hotter and a much better dancer, so I was usually the one getting pushed off the sidewalk!

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    #26

    Funny-Relatable-Texts

    emma_s_cole Report

    Crybabyartist
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Came to the comments to add this and glad to find that I wasn't the only one seeing a near word for word transcript of the novel and movie.

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    CK
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Dogs don't cheat, they're mostly in open relationships.

    Caroline Nagel
    Community Member
    1 year ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I seldom downvote, but most people here deserve it in this case. This is a form of abuse! It is NOT funny. Those who do this sort of thing (feeding meat to unaware vegans 'because vegans are not nice people and see, they can eat meat', feeding food someone is allergic to 'because there is no such thing as allergies', feeding dogfood to somebody they don't like) are not good people, nor are the people who think this story is funny.

    xWILTED_ROSEx
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm not a fan of dogs but I never, ever, understood the 'cheating like a dog' thing. They are SO loyal. It seems contradictory.

    Carries
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That's an insult to dogs

    Dani M
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Right? My dow would leave me for a block of cheese, but at least he´s honest about it.

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    Charles McChristy
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Not noticing that it was dog food says a lot about her cooking. No wonder he was looking around.

    Johnny
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm laughing because afterward the ex husband sued his ex wife. It's illegal to do what she did.

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    #27

    Funny-Relatable-Texts

    funnytextsss Report

    Jeff White
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Nope, I'm a 63 year old Dad and I still do that.

    Rebelliousslug
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Every time! But my dad never actually used words, more like…mmhmmm and uh huh.

    InfiniteZeek
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My wife does this, and I have to nod and look like I completely grasp the genius in her fashion choices.

    Kris
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My dad used to state the obvious like «that dress is red».. 😑🤣

    Maikai
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This is so cute. To me this means your home shares an assumption of comfort, acceptance, honesty with kindness and support.

    MezzoPiano
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My dad did it, and he actually paid attention and said stuff like, "I love the flowers," and "That color looks good on you." He failed in a whole lot of ways, but he got that one right.

    Jesha
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm almost 44 and my dad still loves telling me when I look nice and very occasionally picks me up a cardigan or something. Every single time he does, it fits perfect and is exactly to my taste. It's uncanny.

    Mrs.C
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This was the end of every Christmas Eve at my grandparents'. Grandpa, Dad, and Uncles would smile and nod as Grandma, Mom, and Aunts' dressed us and praded us in our new digs.

    Ash
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    i WISH that had been my family! wow

    Fester Sixonesixonethree
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "Fashion" was considered sinful in the home I grew up in. Miserable people, really.

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    #28

    Funny-Relatable-Texts

    clur19 Report

    Rebelliousslug
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Omg I feel this. My parents performed only the required parenting duties which did not include extra curriculars, displays of love, compassion, encouragement etc. and I love them but my adult life has been very difficult to navigate.

    Clown fish
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Did you ask to do sports or anything? Genuine question?

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    General Anaesthesia
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    And guess who is the only person who can do something about it?

    Tigger O
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Hear, Hear! At 73 I started painting pictures instead of walls. At 7 I joined a choir. At 75 I started learning how to swim instead of just splashing around. At 77 I'm taking up the guitar.

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    Tracy Wallick
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Mine did those things, as an adult I do none of those activities and haven't in a very long time.

    RU Mymudder
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This is a no win situation for parents. Damned if you do and damned if you don’t.

    Maikai
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I appreciate this! You’re an adult blank slate that gets to choose how you want your path to go.

    BarkingSpider
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I let my kid try everything she could. None of it stuck, but at least she got the experience.

    Castles
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Your an adult… go find a hobby!

    Ken Beattie
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It's a tough juggling act for parents. How much do you try to get your kids doing? Too much and you're pushy and overbearing. Too little and you're uncaring and detached. I wouldn't want a music lesson every day after school (for example) but I wish I'd learned how to play piano or guitar.

    Guess Undheit
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Better that than the @$$holes I had for "parents". They actively sabotaged my interests and hobbies, tried to kill my curiosity and ambition.

    BarkingSpider
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Same dude, and it makes being an adult very difficult.

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    Jesha
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I just got told 'nobody makes money doing art/singing/dancing' as if an 8 year old is preparing for a career instead of just wanting to find some joy.

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    #29

    Funny-Relatable-Texts

    funnytextsss Report

    Deeelite
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Females sounds like you're refering to dogs or an animal - i always found it degrading - why cant we be refered to as women or ladies or young women? We are human not animals

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    Min
    Community Member
    Premium
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The worst part is that single women will say they have a boyfriend because a large percentage of men have more respect for a fictional man they've never laid eyes on than they do for the actual woman standing right in front of them.

    Khavrinen
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "Females" *should* say this any time they encounter guys who call them "females", whether they have a boyfriend or not.

    Lotekguy
    Community Member
    Premium
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "Female" isn't an inherently negative term. It's the character of the speaker and the context (including inflection) that can make it so.

    Rebelliousslug
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    When I showed men my wedding ring they took it as a challenge.

    Surenu
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'll bet my current life savings (~12€) that these very same people complain about infidelity a lot.

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    ginshun
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    the "females" should be an immediate enough red flag that all girls claim they have a boyfriend when he asks

    Oskar vanZandt
    Community Member
    1 year ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Neither of these fine male specimens should ever get involved with a woman...

    Carl
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    When I hear it in conversation I always associate it with Ferengi in Star Trek. It pretty much always has possessive and demeaning contextual implications.

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    #30

    Funny-Relatable-Texts

    kelllicopter Report

    Hmmm hmmmm
    Community Member
    1 year ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Well what's your plan for November then? Should use it well because it sounds like your only days off the whole year

    Nitka Tsar
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Nah, thats only 20 work days. Should have at least 5 days left. Possibly 10. Pair that with public holidays and weekends and you can have 3 full weeks sgain.

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    The Darkest Timeline
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Might want to check that they plan on having you back in December

    Anagram margana
    Community Member
    1 year ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Maybe you can use the time to look into a problem you might have with alcohol?

    Jane Alexander
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Driving back from the movie Steve said 'let's chant for rain' 'cause he didn't want to work the next day. - "Oh didn't it rain". He didn't work for 6 weeks 'cause of the rain..

    Cecil
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Maybe your boss sensed you needed it. Hope it did you well

    Robin Childers
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Hey, as long as you're getting paid... Hopefully.

    Passerby
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yes, "accidentally".

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    #31

    Funny-Relatable-Texts

    funnytextsss Report

    Pandemonium
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "Ya went and broke my only rule" - line I love from song that was rhymed with "I refuse to be your fool"

    Murphy Pants
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Cheating and physical or emotional abuse. No second chance. Life is short.

    MaxMi
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    You can get over it eventually, but that’s a new start. Requires some balls. Not everyone is ok with that.

    Lucie Van Pelt
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My sister told her husband that if he cheated he would experience the 3 D's: dickless, divorced, and dead.

    Riley Quinn
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm really impressed with a lot of the ideas and values young people are talking about.

    Lsai Aeon
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    But, but, it's only MONOPOLY!!!!

    RosenCranzLives
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Cheating is the stink of rot coming from the corpse of the relationship. Long over.

    Tabitha
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Or the stench of an a*****e who doesn’t appreciate the good person they’ve got waiting for them at home.

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    Jack Burton
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    You can be cheated and still in love, you can be the cheater and still in love.

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    #32

    Funny-Relatable-Texts

    Y2SHAF Report

    Chihuahua Mama
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Glad to know I'm not the only one

    Nikki Sevven
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    If my pants lack pockets—and I'm a woman, so they often do—I tend to shove my phone into my bra. The number of screenshots of dimly lighted left sideboob is staggering.

    DoNotGoGentleIntoThatGoodNight
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Just knowing that this happens to other people is comforting.

    Jeff White
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I take pictures of the inside of my pants pocket and phone my ex-boss about the same number of time also.

    Gypsy Lee
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I have hours of pocket movies.

    Mrs.C
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I copy everything I ever read to my clipboard.

    martymcmatrix
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I do this especially with frequently visited websites, or url's that are important...and then Gboard supports me with »rearranging the cache« by deleting tags, and I really get pissed off...

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    Anita Rosales
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Not that often but me too and I'm always surprised when I look in photos and see them

    Bob Brooce
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    You have to wonder why people who design cell phones don't know that using two buttons on the opposite sides of the phone to take a screenshot is a bad design.

    Riley Quinn
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I love when I don't know, so it isn't until I'm scrolling through recent pictures and there's the surprise.

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    #33

    Funny-Relatable-Texts

    thecakeduo Report

    Jeff White
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Brilliant plan! No questions here.

    SM
    Community Member
    1 year ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    How about what if the guy likes chubby women? It just looks like stereotyping to me. I like women with short hair, others like it long, what would either of this have to do with the woman's personality?

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    Alijandro Asturias
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Reminds me of this lady who lost weight with the help of her boyfriend, the when she thought was "hot now" she dumped him, saying now she could "do better"

    Jaya
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yep, that's the one good thing about me being ugly: I can be 100% sure my boyfriend didn't choose me for my looks.

    Pheebs
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I did that, and then we got chubbier together.

    Julie S
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I know 2 women that did this both got dumped because their boyfriends liked chubby women.

    Pittsburgh rare
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    At least they know now it wasn't their personality what they liked...

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    Niki A
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Follow her for more relationship advice!!!

    ShyWahine
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    No questions needed - sounds like an ironclad plan.....

    Lene
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Haha yeah, well.... when I met my bf I had lost over 10kgs and he'd lost about 20kgs. When we started dating we wanted to spoil eachother with nice food and lots of snacks. So within 6 months we gained almost all of the weight back. Perhaps if OP could enter a relationship 6-12 months in, and the spoiling-newly-in-love-part of the relationship would be over. Then perhaps this idea would be great. 😁

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    #34

    Funny-Relatable-Texts

    funnytextsss Report

    Mark
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Guess what it cost? your ear

    Courtney Christelle
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My phone doesn’t have a jack for wired headphones. I have to use wireless ones.

    Just-A-Black-Cat
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    *YONK* owwwwwwchhhhh that was my ear- oh wait my phones fine oh well *goes on with day*

    Nosirrow
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    God gave us phone straps for this exact reason. Also, I miss my little Nokia that survived a fall and a puddle.

    Riley Quinn
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This is surprisingly true. Didn't fully respect the jack connection until it saved my phone.

    Veronica Monell
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Those are some strong headphones! Haha

    RaisedByCats
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Whereas my phone won't care about being dropped

    Terry Tobias
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That's happened to me more times than I can count. I'm very klutzy.

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    #35

    Funny-Relatable-Texts

    brilampert Report

    Rebelliousslug
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I tell my daughter this but she’s too busy hoping her bf is something he’s not so it goes in one ear and out the other. I hope she realizes before she puts ten years in waiting for change.

    OpheliaPoe
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I used to waste my time on guys like this with this weird desire to be "special enough" that he would change *for me* because he was so grateful to have me. I had low self esteem and was looking for validation and love in the wrong ways.

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    Kali Chaos
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My mom told me "You keep getting your heart broken bc you fall in love with people's potential, then get mad when they refuse to realize it" and I really wish I would have started listening BEFORE she died so we could talk about it.

    Jeevesssssss
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Applies to anything you need to lose, really, whether it's a bad habit/addiction, 180lbs of boyfriend, a toxic friendship... there comes a moment when you've had enough, and that's when you're willing to go through the discomfort of making changes.

    Lotekguy
    Community Member
    Premium
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Same applies to smoking and other addictions. Quitting is more likely to succeed when you're doing it because you want to than when you're doing it to satisfy others.

    LuckyL
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I think it need to be "you can tell yourself over and over to leave. But you won't until you are ready.

    Tessa
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Wise mom, we all need to hear this from a parent, at least I would have needed it.

    Asterisk
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Wow, where can I get a mum like this? Mine is just a self centred b*tch.

    Riley Quinn
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I didn't act on all the advice I was given immediately, but I stored it away, using it as needed.

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    #36

    Funny-Relatable-Texts

    itsmontyj Report

    JB
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The first time I was relegated to the guest room, I was devastated. Eventually, I preferred it. Then I divorced.

    Patricia Steward
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    And discovering how light her shoulders are all of a sudden.

    Riley Quinn
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    And socking away money so she can put on her sneakers and run to a new and better life.

    Dan Flo
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    And playing hard to get is often just foreplay for the game of being alone.

    Celtic Pirate Queen
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My ex used to do that. He thought he was punishing me somehow. After about 10 days of me not caring if he was speaking to me, he started to realize his mistake. When he questioned me, I was like "Oh, you're still here? Hm". I just went about my day acting that he wasn't. It was making him crazy. Play stupid games, win stupid prizes.

    Triv
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    If I'm ignoring you, it's either because I can't see and hear you or I need to chill out before I really p**s us both off.

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    #37

    Funny-Relatable-Texts

    bttm4burrow Report

    Rocky Horror Panda
    Community Member
    1 year ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My brother did that until he died 3 years ago. I aspire to his example.

    Ray Ceeya (RayCeeYa)
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Same, but that's mainly because half my family is Jehovah's Witness. They aren't any fun.

    Nonna_SoF
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Do they call them Jehovah's Witnesses because they saw some s**t and it messed them up?

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    sbj
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm the daughter who emigrated, Best move I ever made

    pineapple87
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Same. I haven't seen my aunts and uncles from one side in at least 8 years. Some of the cousins I saw a year ago at Christmas but not all. But for my brother it's been more like 15 years, so I'm still the good one.

    Charles McChristy
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm the cousin that shows up twice a year.

    Riley Quinn
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm so distant from my bio family that I don't even want to be a fly on the wall.

    Gabe Mueller
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    the *Socrates*- because I'm corrupting the young

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    #38

    Funny-Relatable-Texts

    sylveeya01 Report

    Jack Burton
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Brutal but how is it boss problem ? 🤔

    Vicky Phenny
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I guess because he hired a human being with a life outside of the company? 🤣

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    Auntriarch
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It is possible to be both correct and shïtty at the same time

    James Howell
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    So much drama over the instant contact that phones provide. Go to work, then work. Get off work and ensue to your drama. Then deal with it, go to bed, get up go to work. This, although not FUN. is called ADULTING!!! In the long run, you will benefit from this work ethic. Maybe not popular, but it's called life.

    Ray Ceeya (RayCeeYa)
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Toxic work environment. Probably sanctionable. I actually know a guy who got fired for this exact reason. He's a New Yorker so he has attitude and he made a server cry over something trivial like cell phone on shift. You don't know what someone is going through. Let them have an extra break in the crying corner. BTW every restaurant and bar has a crying corner. A place the staff can go hide and deal with it.

    Riley Quinn
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    There is a time and place. And her jerk boyfriend knew she was at work. Boss is funny.

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    #39

    Funny-Relatable-Texts

    matchu_chutrain Report

    Panda Boi
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "It's good to know you are eating well."

    Deeelite
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My mother in law after not seeing me for a year : "Oh. You look.........healthy". Thanks carol nice to see you too.

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    DoNotGoGentleIntoThatGoodNight
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Not true for me. My nan always tried to tell me I wasn't fat. My childhood photos tell me otherwise

    Jeff White
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    If my wife asks if her outfit makes her look fat, I just ask her back if my outfit makes me look stupid?

    Khavrinen
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I don't understand why women would ask this question, unless they're deliberately trying to start a fight.

    Auntriarch
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Low self esteem. It's a ridiculous question isn't it.

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    G SJ
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Or, ask a child, they don't mess around with sugar coating comment's

    Nonna_SoF
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Q: Do these pants make me look fat? A: Don't blame the pants.

    Anonymous
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Me: “Pick me up?” Boyfriend: “I don’t know if I’m strong enough.” Me: * loves him more for protecting my feelings over his ego and mentioning his strength rather than saying I’m too heavy *

    Riley Quinn
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Old people can tell long-winded stories, but when it comes to judging someone, they cut to the chase.

    Pablo Ramos
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Oh, not so. Your grandparents think you need to eat more

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    #40

    Funny-Relatable-Texts

    funnytextsss Report

    Chihuahua Mama
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    His life flashed before his eyes the moment he said that

    Kathleen Eddy
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I would rather be a magic marker then a skinny pencil any day

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    Makenzie McNeal
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The sibling insult reflex. I don't normally talk in school but I was told to read out loud and someone said, "Can you speak louder" and he was talking the whole time I was reading, I immediately responded "Can you shut up?"

    Wysteria_Rose
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Cue the "I will remember you..." music.

    The Darkest Timeline
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I mean as in philosophically, like, “Oh man, she is so heavy with her thoughts.” Not buying it, eh?

    Johnny
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My wife and I do this to each other and sometimes I have to be careful I don't end up in this situation because it's so a natural reaction now.

    Gypsy Lee
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Have you heard of the Dumpem Diet? Loose 180 lbs of dumb weight in under a second.

    Donteatme666
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Too All men out there never ever call some women fat it never ends well and I do mean never ever ends well you've been warned 🙏

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    #41

    Funny-Relatable-Texts

    rronnilynn Report

    Tammilee Truitt
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That's so sad. I want to send you a care package every rent day.

    Maikai
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My lottery wish is to have available basic necessities for people and pets that need it.

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    Beachbum
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yes indeed. I get paid in the 15th and the 30th, 30th goes to rent, and I hav alittle left over, so I jsut hope I don't need anything major during this time

    Leanne Hailes
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    North American living in it's current sad situation. Plus $10 for 1/2 a pint of fresh Strawberries pretty much sums up our current state of living 😕😢

    Almost sunny
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Laughed to hard at this. Relatable these days.

    ShyWahine
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That's me every beginning of the month....

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    #42

    Funny-Relatable-Texts

    _badassiee Report

    Nitka Tsar
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The problem is the „not“. Instead of saying „do not spend“ say „safe money“. Sometimes your brain just cannot process a „not“

    Dragons Exist
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    But I like buying random, unique antiques at Goodwill that aren't in any way useful but are cool

    Emma
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Conflicting advice for the brain, it just ignores the not part - mine does anyway

    Satya Bain
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Practicing this now because I need to replace my car by summer. Maybe sooner.

    Gypsy Lee
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Thankfully I don't have that problem. You have to have it to spend it.

    CrazyKnitter
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My depression doesn't understand. I do. Really!!

    Nosirrow
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My current plan is to give up sweets and soda for the Lent. God give me strength.

    BrownTabby
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Aw bless, the poor are shaming THEMSELVES for wanting nice things. Somewhere, Bezos got a raging böner.

    ShyWahine
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Let me know when you do understand, then you can explain it to me....

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    #43

    Funny-Relatable-Texts

    _dominiqued__ Report

    Jeff White
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My flatulence is going to *sparkle* tonight!

    Julie Cohn
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This is a quote from the movie White Chicks

    Charles McChristy
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I think that's why he offered you the salad.

    AngelWingsYT
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    For me: steak RARE with onion AND mushrooms, side of fries with garlicparm sauce, green onions, and bacon. And a side of broccoli (for the green). For dessert chocolate lava cake

    pineapple87
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    There were a few times with my ex, where they decided to plop his salmom in front of me and my steak in front of him without asking.

    MotherofGuineaPigs
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Don't forget asparagus - may as well make your pee stink too.

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    #44

    Funny-Relatable-Texts

    introverts007 Report

    Ray Ceeya (RayCeeYa)
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm at the wealth level where I have a panic attack and suck it up and get back to work in ten minutes. Yeah that happened today. Panic attacks suck.

    HyperSocialCheeseFoe
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Kinda wish I was rich enough to leave society and live in the woods by myself forever.

    arthbach
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Far better to be wealthy enough to have regular 3 days breaks so you don't have to break down to get the chance to stop.

    Passerby
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That 3-day holiday would turn into a whole-year holiday very quickly.

    Me. Just Me.
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I guess I would need to buy an island.

    JenC
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Isn't that what Agatha Christie did?

    DoNotGoGentleIntoThatGoodNight
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    But the reality is you have to call in sick because you don't feel mentally well enough to even function out of a bed

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    #45

    Funny-Relatable-Texts

    heyitsnemo_ Report

    Chihuahua Mama
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yes but you will have enough to make more than one sandwich

    SirWriteALot
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    No, you'll throw away half of that because it went bad since you don't want to eat sandwiches for the next 3 days.

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    Blue Bunny of Happiness
    Community Member
    1 year ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Ha, try that with crafting! I’ll make a card, it’s cheaper than spending £3.50. Two years later the spare bedroom is now stuffed to the gunwales and I lost count at 137 different ink pads…. should have just spent £5 on a really nice card!

    Pieter LeGrande
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    What did you buy? A whole leg of ham, a bushel of tomatoes, a wheel of cheese, and 4 loaves for the price of 3? Gunna get sick of ham, cheese and tomato sandwiches by the end of the month.

    Tammilee Truitt
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    If single or childless couple spend the $12. You save on clean up and time, time, time!

    Riley Quinn
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Heck, I don't even buy deli meats. I get a small portion of a roast and slice it myself. Freeze it in portions. Deli prices are astronomical for flavorless selections.

    Leanne Hailes
    Community Member
    1 year ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yup. Sounds like today's trying to survive, but you're f****d either way.

    Devin Schmitt
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    3/4 of those ingrediants will spoil before you make your sandwich.

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    #46

    Funny-Relatable-Texts

    chiknara4 Report

    wowbagger
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I don't know. I asked my sister in law, "Don't you hate it when he just gives you a really hard noogie from out of nowhere?" and she was like, "Huh?" Apparently, he's a lot nicer to her.

    Wondering Alice
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My SIL is, well difficult let's say. My sister's BIL treats her so well, spoiling her with anything she wants. His reasoning is that having grown up with his brother, he can't understand how anyone could do that voluntarily and is sure she deserves to be spoilt. Her husband responds by doing anything for me. My husband responds by dropping everything if my sister wants. Me and my sister do not understand this odd circus of affairs, but long may it continue.

    Fester Sixonesixonethree
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    LOL! My brother and his wife are codependent a******s. I watch from afar.

    Cindy Brick
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My darling brother enjoyed practicing his wrestling moves on me in high school... yes, he wrestles with his wife, but...

    Lisa H
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    She chose him, I was stuck with him

    Tabitha
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I have four older brothers. They’re actually really great brothers. But because I grew up with them, I know full well just how gross they can be. I was flabbergasted that ANY woman would marry any of them. But they all got married. One of them twice—-poor judgement when younger, much wiser when he got older, second wife is a gem.

    Mrs.C
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yeah, no. He's not the problem...and I'm not the "my baby brother is amazing" kind of sister.

    Nosirrow
    Community Member
    1 year ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    They made their choice. I have no sympathy for women who chose obviously toxic men. Were you blind, honey? No, just stupid.

    Sahitya Madhavan
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My mother told my SIL to not get married to my sibling. She didn't listen. 🥲

    Just a bored scp
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    (Or they’re stuck with your gay sibling)

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    #47

    Funny-Relatable-Texts

    MrJamesCosgrove Report

    Robert Millar
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Jan 3 you put the wrong year on a check.

    crazydogmama
    Community Member
    Premium
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Well, work documents, but same thing.

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    DoNotGoGentleIntoThatGoodNight
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    December 24th-December 31st = Depressed but Christmas January 1st= "New year, New me January 2nd: Still Depressed and will be for the rest of my life.

    WakandaPanda
    Community Member
    1 year ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    4:00, Wallow in self-pity; 4:30, Stare into the abyss; 5:00, Solve world hunger, tell no one; 5:30, Jazzercize; 6:30, Dinner with me — I can’t cancel that again; 7:00, Wrestle with my self-loathing... I’m booked. Of course, if I bump the loathing to 9, I could still be done in time to lay in bed, stare at the ceiling and slip slowly into madness.

    A. Starhawk Hunt
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    uh...my job we work on all those days.

    Annik Perrot
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Always hated January. For me it's the year's a*s hole.

    Riley Quinn
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm screwed. I'm old. I'm occasionally tested for dementia. Little questions like, "what day is it", "what month is it", little things like that. Days, dates, these things have no meaning anymore. I'm retired, and I stream.

    Lotekguy
    Community Member
    Premium
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Jan. 4 - Resolutions about diet and exercise broken.

    Another Panda
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Unless you are in Australia and three quarters of the country shuts down for January. Reality hits in February.

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    #48

    Funny-Relatable-Texts

    funnytextsss Report

    Jack Burton
    Community Member
    1 year ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    18 years in hospital, emergency department. S****y painful exhausting job. But i miss the hundreds of colleagues i had, i miss the laughs, the pranks, the jokes...

    FaceTime Audio
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    What are pranks like in the ER? Slug in a mask? Ultrasound gel on your stethoscope ear bits?

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    Blue Bunny of Happiness
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    So often the case! I’ve definitely stayed in jobs longer than I should because my colleagues are lovely. The management, not so lovely…

    Cecil
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I've overstayed mine for this reason. Making my escape plan though

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    Robin DJW
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    We had really good folks where I worked for 40 years. I miss them. I don't miss the work or the GOING to work.

    DoNotGoGentleIntoThatGoodNight
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This is exactly why I have had the same job since I was 18. I don't ever want to leave my people.....but my people are gradually leaving me (yes, I have attachment issues)

    Mrs.C
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The Husband loves to say, "I really miss {old job}. It was SO much better than {new job}." I love to remind him how much he HATED {old job} but is seeing it through the haze of nostalgia.

    MaxMi
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Who leaves the old house for the new knows the one he’s leaving but not the one he’s going

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    Beachbum
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I like my job right now, but the people that I work with are the absolute best, such a bonus!

    Satya Bain
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    For me, the job has been awesome, fulfilling, for 30 years over 4 different companies. The people I am still friends with after all that time is less than 20. Almost half of those have now passed from health crises that could not be overcome. I miss those people but know they are in a better place.

    MaxMi
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I don’t miss any job, and thanks to linkedin, neither the people, we’re still in touch and we’ll be forever.

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    #49

    Funny-Relatable-Texts

    AmrinderSekhon7 Report

    Ray Ceeya (RayCeeYa)
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Unfortunately for the rest of us, 15 year olds exist and now I feel very old.

    KinoEel
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I was at work (sailing instructor) and filling in an incident form after a kid got injured and the date of birth was in 2015! Like no way you can go out sailing yourself you should be like 2

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    Jack Burton
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Wait ! You mean some people are born in 21th century ??

    Dragons Exist
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I was born in 2009 lmao guess I don't exist

    Always end with a laugh
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    *Me being less than a month away from 15 and simultaneously not existing lol* (also I like your username)

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    Dane
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Makes it easy for store clerks thought - selling alcohol, they just look for the "19##" - the rest doesn't even matter!

    Flame
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I was born in 009. The 29th of December. I can't believe I'm going to be 15 this year.

    Nosirrow
    Community Member
    1 year ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My oldest pupils now were born after 9/11. How is that possible? I was 13 when it happened and had no idea bc I was at school for hours

    Leesa DeAndrea
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Adults walking around who didn't experience the fall of the twin towers on 9/11. To them it is just history.

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    #50

    Funny-Relatable-Texts

    piercegramm1 Report

    Mike F
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I personally make sure I have a charger within 10 steps all the time, lol.

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    Angrykitten
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm literally doing this right now. I'm at 8%lol

    Lotekguy
    Community Member
    Premium
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I used to have a self-winding wrist watch that stopped on weekends due to insufficient motion, even while wearing it. It wasn't on the arm that handled the remote.

    #51

    Funny-Relatable-Texts

    brownnieees Report

    Mia Black
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I have always been like that and always ok with it

    Amy E
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    If you're still here, you got options!

    DoNotGoGentleIntoThatGoodNight
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I just figured my party brain will kick in when I need to start watching my hip.

    Rocky Horror Panda
    Community Member
    1 year ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    From the time I was born. Let's hear it for being someone who grew up in the pediatric ward of a hospital.

    #52

    Funny-Relatable-Texts

    funnytextsss Report

    Chihuahua Mama
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Would you remember to show up though?

    Jinx (she/her)
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    darn, I knew there was something I was meant to be doing 🤦‍♀️

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    #53

    Funny-Relatable-Texts

    fineassnayyyy Report

    Rocky Horror Panda
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Hah. Me for the past 3 years. And not only did nobody notice, my best friends of 25+ years can't even be bothered to speak to me.

    KinoEel
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It will get better, if you ever need someone to talk to us pandas are willing to listen

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    Tammilee Truitt
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Never was the saying "make your own happiness " so true.

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    Makenzie McNeal
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Lies I do understand this because I didn't want to skip the theme songs and so I ran to the bathroom because why skip to the end of the show when you could be back when the new episode starts playing. And with call of duty I ran in between matches to go to the bathroom.

    Wondering Alice
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Not quite Mackenzie. Nowadays many might do this like you, but the post refers to a time if you missed something at the start that was it. Forever. And never to be seen again. And as an older gamer, you can tell your team mates to hang back if you need too. ( When I play with people my own age, start times get put back a fair bit for bladder calls)

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    Rebelliousslug
    Community Member
    1 year ago

    This comment has been deleted.

    Nosirrow
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Strict, abusive parents become loving grandparents or owners of pets. So their adult children can discover parents actually are capable of affection, just not for their own children. My father told me twice he only wants to live as long as his dog.

    SeaJaySea
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I just got a HORRIBLE mental image of that

    Rosie Red
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My sisters and I would nervously look at each other and whisper, mom has crazy eyes, we're in so much trouble.

    Michael Largey
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Unfortunately, some parents speak with their fists.

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    Wysteria_Rose
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My husband and I were states away, me in the middle of the country and he was on the East Coast. He drove the 23 hours to visit. I would fly back and forth to see him. The only heartache about it was when we had to split without knowing when we'd see each other again. We will be married for 10 years this August.

    Adrian
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm going to disagree with this one. I live on the Westside of Los Angeles and used to date girls all over the L.A. area. One time the traffic was really bad and I was an hour late and the two-hour drive was really stressful. Not a great way to meet a new person. Future dates would have been similar, whoever was driving. So now I only date people close to me.

    Purple Sprinkles
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It's not about the actual drive but the willingness to want to see someone and to make them feel valued.

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    G SJ
    Community Member
    1 year ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I wonder if he has another partner where he lives.. Worth the drive to see you

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    #57

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    aa_deol_aa Report

    Jeff White
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    As they say ... "Ignorance is bliss". As the Great Buddha once said, you have to "Let that S**t go." Rinse, repeat.

    Tracy Wallick
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    As a Buddhist, one of the most helpful and freeing phrases you can learn (besides "let that $hit go") is "not my f*cking problem"

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    Ray Ceeya (RayCeeYa)
    Community Member
    1 year ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    No mostly I want to smash their face in. I don't care why. Except for Mark. He stole from me but I wanted to buy the hatchet toward the end and never got the chance because he passed away from cancer. I don't need to know why. I already knew. But I am sad I never got a chance to mend that bridge before he passed.

    MezzoPiano
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Why would I do that when I can have a pretend conversation with them in my own head in which no matter what they say, I always have the perfect comeback and I get to win the conversation?

    Hey!
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Asking why is opening the door to a bunch of bulls**t excuses.

    Jesha
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Very few people get closure. Most of the time, it doesn't exist, and you will have more questions than can be answered. It's a hard road to let things go.

    Wondering Alice
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I don't go out on many 'girls nights' (I don't get invited, nothing against them) but one of the few I went on all the women were telling this one woman with a clearly s****y on again off again partner how she needed to confront him and make him explain so she could get closure. I stayed quiet because I don't always understand these situations but she asked me. I told her I couldn't see what was in it for him to give her closure and if that's what she wanted she should take it for herself and just close a door on the whole thing on her own. Everyone glared at me like I'd ruined the advice thing. Except the woman I said it too. She did it too. We are still great friends but I just go out with her, not the crowd.

    Elemcie
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It changes nothing so it doesn't make anyone feel better. They made their choices. I make mine.

    Anagram margana
    Community Member
    1 year ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Unfortunately, yes. Hasn’t happened. But still believe in karma - nothing terrible just enough to show them the error of their ways.

    Cindy Brick
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The hard part: they may not remember anything about this. And then you'll look really foolish.

    Spannermonkey
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Not really. But I probably won't brake if I see 'em crossing the road. (It's 43 years ago. It's fine. I'm fine.)

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    Queeqec
    Community Member
    1 year ago

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    There are some words missing? Maybe someone can add them, so the post makes sense again?

    Ace
    Community Member
    1 year ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Is. The car has not messed up, it is (has been) messed up (by poor driving).

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    Alyssa Phillips
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Nope. Train them right. They might be a spy. Develop trust. THEN show the way it's done.

    Michael Largey
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Many times I told my math students "Here's is how the textbook says to do this, but it doesn't love you like I do."

    Ray Ceeya (RayCeeYa)
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    So many times. "FYI, this is not an OSHA approved ladder." "So if you ever need to open this panel without shutting off the power, use this screwdriver we ground down to fit into this slot, that way you can reset the GFCI without shutting down the power." "Don't EVER use this E-stop." These are all things I've heard over the years.

    #60

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    Chihuahua Mama
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    You better call her back and say you're going to bingo night!

    ADJ
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Enjoy spending time with your grandma as much as you can, because at some point there will be no grandma to visit and it will suuuuuuuck so much. Believe me.

    Nikki Sevven
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Go to bingo night. I used to go golfing with my grandma, and I didn't even like golfing. It made her happy, which made me happy. Had I always said 'no', I'd be regretting it now.

    DoNotGoGentleIntoThatGoodNight
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This just makes me miss going to Bingo with my nan...Covid put a stop to that.

    Castles
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    If your gonna steal someone else’s idea at least change bingo to something else

    Aroace tiger (she/they/he)
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Maybe theres a reason they couldn't go to bingo night guys

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    #62

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    TahreemNoor4 Report

    Rocky Horror Panda
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Somebody 5,000 miles away couldn't be this reasonable. Which is why we broke up!

    Red Panda
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This says "pick me" so hard 🙄

    HannyRo
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This too me screams that she's probably the opposite and is just fishing...

    #63

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    Jason
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I work 2 jobs and run a business. The older I get the more free time I wish I had.

    Tracy Wallick
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Coming home to a clean house is SUCH a mental health boon; depression makes it hard for me to keep it as clean as I'd like, so it's 100% worth the price to hire a cleaner every once in a while to come in and make everything really nice so I can focus on maintaining it rather than catching up on cleaning.

    G SJ
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    a messy house, is a working house, unless you can employ a cleaner, or get a partner with ocd

    #64

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    HoltJazmyn Report

    somnomania
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    i thought i liked the idea of a sedentary alarm but then quickly found that because i spend nearly all of my time reclining in bed, it was just going off constantly

    Wysteria_Rose
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I used to say to my watch "Mind your own business."

    STress (I/me)
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That's why I prefer old school - Rolex, Patek Philippe and so. They're decent enough to know their role and not disturb me.

    Ace
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Sure, because those are the only other choices available. /s

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    Jaya
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It completely depends on your own interests and desires. They're different for everyone, and can be different in different stages of your life. There is no such thing as better or worse, there's just different needs and tastes.

    Andi
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    no .. one day you will meet 'the one' and it will be good. but even that will have dull patches and you will need those memories just to remind you that you were young, and that you didn't 'settle', you 'chose' so stick with it.

    Khavrinen
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    And then there are those of us for whom neither is an option...

    Rebelliousslug
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I wish you’d told me this 23 years ago

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    Jason
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    20+ years and counting

    Jack Burton
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    22 years in 2024 but not a f****n straight line. A roller coaster for sure.

    CD Mills
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I was married to mine for 44 years, and knew him for 48, he was simply the best person I ever knew. I lost him to lung cancer a year ago last December.

    Frances Mooney
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Going into year 51....So far, so good.....

    Wysteria_Rose
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    People always give me a look when I say I don't feel like going to something cause my husband can't/isn't available. They're like, "You know you can do things on your own, right?" But it really wouldn't feel as fun without my best friend with me. Things are more fun with him. Even cooking dinner on a weeknight can be fun with him there.

    Babs McGurk
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    May 1st will be 42 years. Not all of them were great, but most of them were. Can't imagine my life with anyone else.

    DubMaccaT
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It was the most beautiful experience I‘ve ever had. I miss her everyday and wish we could’ve grown old together watching our son grow up. I used to think I knew what love was but when I experienced it for real; it was on another level. Don’t settle. There is someone who will love you for you.

    Hey!
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    35+ years and no regrets.

    Spannermonkey
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Don't take the "grow old" bit for granted.😒

    Nosirrow
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    As a child of divorced parents, I genuinely don't believe marital love exists. Women just want help and protection, men want home cooked meals and clean clothes.

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    PeePeePooPoo
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Noooo they'll punish the poor dog

    Ron
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    So you're making the poor dog suffer too? What an AH 🤬

    Igor914624
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That won't work on me. I am one of the weird people who can actually hear dog whistles.

    #68

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    BookFanatic
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yep. As my mother aged, her filters stopped working. Turns out my mother was a bawdy old lady and I'm right on track to follow suit!

    CT
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That ! I still remember my mother talking about hers, saying that she shamed her by judging too much and making remarks in front of everyone. And now I have to refrain from telling her that she is becoming more and more like her mother. I've always had trouble with social filters being a bit overwhelming and I've been making mistakes since childhood, and the same goes for accidentally speaking loudly. I'm afraid when my turn comes to become like my mother

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    Wysteria_Rose
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My dad will get snarky and go "I have such a smartass for a daughter" and I go "And where do you think I learned it, Dad?!"

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    #69

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    Hey!
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    You would also like to have a bed, sheets, and blankets... Pillows, maybe?

    Jack Burton
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I know something else that is free if you are a couple 🤭🤭🤭

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    #70

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    Melo_Malebo Report

    Wysteria_Rose
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I tell myself each month "if the bank account is sad but your rent is paid, bills are paid, and there is food in the refrigerator, you are not broke, you are responsible...while a little broke."

    sbj
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yep, It means now I can get on with the rest of the month

    #71

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    Ms_Logical Report

    Ray Ceeya (RayCeeYa)
    Community Member
    1 year ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That would be nice, I could use a that ten grand or so.

    Michael Largey
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'd settle for just the time and energy.

    G SJ
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Now, imagine if all the sh*t they caused you was piled on your doorstep

    Rocky Horror Panda
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'd be independently wealthy for decades.

    HurlWurk
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'd have maybe a couple hundred extra. Only dated a few women before meeting my spouse.

    #72

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    Jeremy James
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Or you can get into a massive argument, but then one of you says something so funny that you both end up laughing and it ends the fight.

    Michael Largey
    Community Member
    1 year ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I had a girlfriend who made my eyes roll - along with the rest of my head.

    G SJ
    Community Member
    1 year ago

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    Ok, so, I need a dwarf as a partner

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    #73

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    faiththegemini Report

    MotherofGuineaPigs
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    A pillow fight room at work would be awesome.

    Ron
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    They have to leave work at some point in time 😏

    Angela C
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    First rule of coworker fight club...

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    #74

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    Virgin Panda
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Sometimes I feel so lonely being single.... I said sometimes!!

    SeaJaySea
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    You don't need a partner to tell you you're beautiful! You're incredible and have an amazing personality :)- Random Internet Stranger

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    Rebelliousslug
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I appreciate your boyfriend too. You are smart, beautiful, capable and amazing! Keep it up!

    #76

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    ElinumbaaNine Report

    Ari Maranichi
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    One time, I turned my face purple from laughing at my own joke before I even said it.

    Rebelliousslug
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This makes me laugh too though, when someone can’t get themselves together and finish the joke I’m just cry-laughing with them

    CD Mills
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm a blonde who loves blonde jokes, I was at a restaurant with some friends, got up to go to the bathroom, and saw another table of friends. I stopped by their table when I came out and they were telling blonde jokes. I listened to a few and then I volunteered to tell my favorite blonde joke. Well, everybody is looking and I open my mouth and...nothing! My mind went totally blank and I sort of squeaked out, " I forgot it!". That was the biggest laugh I have ever gotten in my life. Because I'm too blonde to remember my favorite blonde joke. :P

    Nosirrow
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Meow sounds like Polish word for 'had', so I ask meowing cats: what did the kitty had, a bowl of milk? Then I laugh at my own joke and the annoyance on kitty's face.

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    #77

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    Mark
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I have EU size 48 feet. I don't like this

    Aroace tiger (she/they/he)
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Lol we have nicknames for all my friends crushes. They're numbered tho

    MotherofGuineaPigs
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I wear a 9.5 US and I can put my ex's tennis shoes on over my own tennis shoes. Like wearing clown shoes.

    Rosie Red
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I used references from Seinfeld. They never get old.

    CSC
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My friends and I do this all of the time. It isn't done in a mean way...it is just done.

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    #78

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    AshleyBrant__ Report

    frederick clause
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    If you have to beg him for anything you're just a place holder while he's looking for someone else.

    Adrian
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Methinks you need higher standards...

    Hey!
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That's so funny because my now husband, who was giving me a ride to a grocery store, bought the apple juice I wanted to buy. He was almost a stranger at that point. I was really poor and the juice bottle turned into 3 because I always divided it with water.

    #79

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    Rebelliousslug
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Maybe you were just a casualty of Netflix’s new No sharing policy

    Amy
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This censoring, if there must be censoring, seems like an improvement to me!

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    #81

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    huntinhannah Report

    Amy E
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    If he's discourteous in other ways too, next!

    Jack Burton
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I love when my wife fall asleep while watching netflix on her phone and then i put Peppa pig full volume in german.

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    #82

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    #83

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    ADJ
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I know what it is, and such a position does not even exist in my language. But I am the one who keeps the family tree data, currently at ~800 people :)

    Rocky Horror Panda
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Speak for yourself. I'm the family genealogist.

    #84

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    SH Holmes
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My mom and dad are both doing really good jobs.

    Kat Nt
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Tell them. Everyone needs a compliment some times

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    girl_bug3_14
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    YES!! I make a point of calling my mom regularly for this exact reason. She had an undiagnosed mental illness when I was growing up and carries a lot of guilt. I understand now because I have the same illness but lucky enough to have a supportive husband and the benefit of meds.She didn't.

    G SJ
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    To my daughters mom - YOU'RE A C**T

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    #85

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    Clown fish
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm f@cking not. Oh wait hmmm....

    CD Mills
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My youngest sibling has spent more of his life in jail than he has on the outside, starting from when he was in Jr. High. I've been no contact with him for the past twenty years. No idea where he even lives anymore and I don't care.

    Ashley Harrold
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yeah but we're so cute we get away with it XD

    Nosirrow
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I have two older brothers, two parents, so four people who took their anger out on me. I regret I wasn't more annoying. I hate them all.

    Jesha
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm the youngest in my entire familial generation on both sides and with all of my first cousins as well. My power knows no bounds. It is pretty cool being able to call the rest of the hyena pack into action, though. I try to use my powers for good.

    Elemcie
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    They are super sweet and attentive because they like how it comes back to them. That's why I married one.

    Amo Mazzuchelli
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Maybe the most annoying but also the smartest, more affectionate and resilient

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    #86

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    funnytextsss Report

    #87

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    #88

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    canasa_angel Report

    BookFanatic
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Same. I look like a desiccated lizard most days.

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    #89

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    funnytextsss Report

    PeePeePooPoo
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Interesting thing is, I keep thinking why do people buy so much groceries and how much money they've spent and they annoy me, but I still watch them. Especially that one with the long nails and ring on every finger, with white sleves which go up to her fingers. Girl, when you're cleaning the fridge, roll up your sleves, you'll mess up your sweatshirt. >.<

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    #90

    Funny-Relatable-Texts

    FKairetu Report

    Wysteria_Rose
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Facebook doesn't even remind me of birthdays anymore. Like I remember my closest friends but anyone else, hey, sorry, Facebook failed you.

    I’ll have a treble thanks.
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Should be thanking your parents if had a good childhood

    #91

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    #92

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    Norwegian_Panda🇳🇴
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I felt that one. Also NO I don’t want to look back at memories 6y ago with an ex…

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    #93

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    Amy E
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Smaller batches might make it easier, maybe 3-4?

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    #94

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    Angela C
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The best is when your best friend or sibling has a baby cuz then you get to be the fun aunt or uncle and have all the fun and none of the responsibility

    Red PANda (she/they)
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I want a baby! But I’m a teenager so maybe I should wait a bit 😂

    Deborah B
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Get a cat. It can be your little baby.

    Nosirrow
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    There's sth about my face that makes babies and toddlers stare at me, very intently. Today on the bus it was a little girl. She couldn't look away.

    MotherofGuineaPigs
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Get guinea pigs. They are basically toddlers anyway.

    #96

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    Julie Cohn
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Well considering they know you can't walk around in real life wearing 17 filters, they're not surprised

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    #97

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    sacrificehoes Report

    Karen Krause
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    She's going on the trip, but making sure there's no evidence, such as being in pictures posted on social media.

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    Clown fish
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Think you need to get rid of the boyfriend

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