50 Honest And Unhinged Tweets From Parents Who’ve Seen It All (New Pics)

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Lol

Actually, it's the kid's report card

She just found out her husband was lost at sea and you want to trivialise it?

Did you tell him to 'come home when the street lights come on'?

Bro got what he asked for

at least you had beepers.

When I was a toddler, I must've been REALLY annoying my parents because when we were IN FRANCE they left me on the side of the road. They then drove away..came back 10 secs later, but that memory has scared me. I really hope this is a joke.

Probably she had that dream BECAUSE he hit the leg against her bed strongly (or the cat jumped on it, or smth) while sleeping?

🤣

This is what I'm afraid of when I have kids! I have seen my mum with my nephews when they were younger. She agrees to bed times etc and it all goes out the window when my stepsister leaves. My Stepdad is no help either.

😂

I prefer over my shoulders like a fur stole.

Or when suddenly they're bones dissolve and they're no longer able to walk or move.

Sideways? No. Slung over your shoulder, with your arms wrapped around their legs so they can't kick you? Yeah, maybe.

Your kid went into the store and came out a surfboard

Heh, I put mine over my shoulder in the "Dirty Dancing" pose (she was rigid with fury in Superman pose) and started singing "(I've Had) The Time of My Life"! Someone else actually joined in!

A ten year old should be able to use a blender. If they are that afraid, they need to do more to equip their children for life.

blended fingers yum

oh s**t

They’re old enough to make margaritas for Dad.

Rich people drop their kids off at school in September and pick them up next June.

Make sure you label it so you don't just sit there confusedly trying to remember what it was for, shrug and go on with your day, and only remember when you get a call from the school.

Truth. I set mine about half an hour before reading this.

Count your blessings ……I was part of the “recorder generation “. To this day my poor mother gets a facial tick every time she hears one. 😂

My little nephew started playing and it sounded like a goose dying, initially. He got very good and was in all types of school performances later.

To practice making the sounds of a dying goose.

Smash it, whatever you have to pay the school will be worth your sanity.

"But dad, mom says you only last 15 seconds"

Unless the store has toys. Then it's 2.5 minutes of trying to find what you came there to get, then another solid 25 minutes of "can we look at the toys NOW?????".

And about 5 minutes doing school homework

Wait, they got into the shop?!

I can offer 2 shapes: Square and triangle. Have fun!

Triangle is a fun shape. So is a rectangle, I guess...

My son always asks for 3 pieces of toast. So I cut one slice into 3 pieces and he accepts. Small win!