We’re going to have some pun today, pandas! Oops, I meant fun! We’ve taken a trip to the Wholly Pun Bible on Instagram and gathered some of the most clever (and perhaps eyeroll-inducing) puns that they’ve ever posted down below.
From cringey dad jokes to clever wordplay, we hope you enjoy scrolling through these puns, pandas. Be sure to upvote the ones that you plan on passing along to your fellow pun enthusiasts, and keep reading to find a conversation with John C. Lewis of Punsteria!
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Lmao they are making up b******t. Let me show you guys some real math. The human genome has a little over 3 billion nucleotide pairs with 4 possible pairs (AT, TA, CG, GC). A single sperm cell contains half that, so 1.5 billion pairs. We need two bits to represent 4 variables (00, 01, 10, 11), so one pair is two bits. To encode 1.5 billion pairs, we need 3 billion bits. 3 billion bits is equal to 375 megabytes, not 37.5. Arguably you could compress it to a smaller size, but this isn't compressed data. According to WebMD, an average healthy ejaculation produces 200 million sperm on the lower range (for caution so I don't wildy over estimate the number). 200 million sperm holds 75 BILLION megabytes of data, or 75 thousand terabytes of data. Hell, it's more simply represented by 75 PETABYTES. For once the simplified math meme massively underestimated the number.
Not if it's the same data with transcription errors over and over again
To learn more about the wonderful world of puns, we reached out to an expert on the topic, John C. Lewis of Punsteria, a site dedicated to sharing the world's best puns. John was kind enough to have a chat with Bored Panda, sharing that he's always had a love for word play.
"[Puns are] part of the internal jokes and culture we grew up with," he shared. "I always use them while having fun with friends and family, especially when it comes to writing congratulation letters, and similar. They are always a perfect choice to add in a bit of fun and originality!"
Flint, Michigan ... a shout out to Pb .... /atomic number 82... /atomic weight 207.19... /melting point 327.5 °C (621.5 °F)... /boiling point 1,744 °C (3,171.2 °F)... /density 11.29 gram/cm3 at 20 °C (68 °F)... /oxidation states +2, +4... /electron configuration [Xe]4f145d106s26p2 or 1s22s22p63s23p63d104s24p64d104f145s25p65d106s26p2
She could have just bought the shower curtain with the periodic table on it. Won't wash off, either.
We also asked the pun expert if he could share some of his favorites with us. "'This coffee is so good, it's bean on my mind all day!' [And] 'I don't trust these stairs because they're always up to something.' These are the ones I like to say in everyday situations, all puns are dear to me," John added with a smile.
He even says he unintentionally creates puns all the time. "It comes as a random inspiration during talk and daily life - the more you use them, the better you get at it. It becomes almost muscle memory," John explained.
"People underestimate the power of humor - even if it's just a corny pun," John added. "It makes you look at life from a more positive side, and makes the world a better place for everyone around you. I have never met a humorous person that's bad, have you?"
If you're looking for even more brilliant puns, be sure to visit Punsteria!
Especially if you've been thinking about the Roman empire
Load More Replies...Back in the early '00s, there was a place near my (then) office called the "pho king noodle house" I'll have to see if I still have a picture of it in my phone.
This is sofa king funny. (We should use this to slip past those stupid filters)
Instead of having 'boredpanda.com' on the car, put in "BadPunPolice" in the back window
Pho King is a name I see that makes me giggle now that I know how to pronounce Pho.
While puns often illicit eyerolls and groans from audiences, there are plenty of people out there who can appreciate the beauty of them as well. And if you’re one of those o-pun minded people, you’re going to love the Wholly Pun Bible. This Instagram account has been around since May 2017 and has shared an impressive 5,000 posts.
And clearly, the page is doing a great job, as it has also amassed a whopping 1.7 million followers. From memes to screenshots of brilliant interactions on social media to photos of puns spotted in real life, this page is a wonderful place for anyone who enjoys word play. Plus, it can help anyone out there who needs to have a joke on hand that they can whip out whenever someone asks!
Or lone star state? Texas. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Flag_of_Texas
Please for the love of everything that is holy do not tell Texans they have a "Texas Superhero" LOL... unless it's a Game Warden, some heroes help you relocate dangerous animals and find you lost in the woods.
they have chuck norris, thats all they every wanted
Load More Replies...I always figured him as captain Texas, but then again, he would have more than just a stupid shield if he were Texan.
Puerto Rico is definitely an American country, who you are looking for is Captain United States of America
We all know that dads are the masters of puns, so Fatherly, knowing their niche, shared an article discussing what makes puns so irresistible. Apparently one of the reasons some of us love them is because they are linked with “mental and mating aptitude,” one 2011 study found.
“For most of Western history, puns were a sign of high intellect,” John Pollack, author of The Pun Also Rises, told The Atlantic. “They were a tool, and they remain a tool, to pack more meaning into fewer words.”
Shows that at least some older Italians can still be kind and considerate, even when every muscle hurts just to move!
Picture appears to have been Photoshopped. The building shown to the left bears only a passing resemblance to the cathedral actually shown on Google Street View.
Are memes supposed to be anatomically correct?
Load More Replies...Puns are also an interesting form of humor because they utilize both the left and right sides of our brains, research suggests. The left side is the linguistic hemisphere, while the right side works to “reveal the surprise double-meaning” of a pun, Fatherly explains.
But apparently, you don’t actually need to have a human brain to create puns. In 2011, scientists from the University of Washington created a program that learned how to add “that’s what she said” to sentences with a 72% success rate. Meaning that, the vast majority of the time, this computer understood when to use Michael Scott’s favorite line.
Nope. And since the point of school has long been to churn out a fresh workforce, it should reflect this by acknowledging that many employers ask weird questions looking for an un-boxed brain. Kid should have gotten a full mark.
Load More Replies...What's the difference between a panda and a sociopath? One eats shoots & leaves; the other eats, shoots & leaves
Load More Replies...“Is…wait are you telling me Yoda? Or is that a question? I feel threatened…”
Load More Replies...And according to Charlie Hopper at McSweeney’s, even if you hate puns, there’s an explanation for that too. “A pun sidetracks you. It’s your friend who won’t let you get anything done,” Hopper explains. “It doesn’t know how to further the conversation. It can’t help you figure out anything important. A pun doesn’t bond people together by revealing a shared understanding of life. A pun says nothing about human experience or emotion, at least not on purpose.”
I'm surprised so many officers try writing tickets from those little note pads, they know they aren't legal sized.
People find a lot of things if they're curie-ous enough.
Load More Replies...But for those of us who do enjoy a good pun, Shakespearean lecturer Dr. David McInnis says they can often feel like sharing an inside joke. “There's a sense of shared cleverness and intelligence that you get the joke,” McInnis told Pursuit. “Some people understand it and some don’t, so there’s that element of sharing something that’s a bit of a secret in some ways.”
Dockwise's Marlin class. Semi-submersible barges regularly used to move around warships, cruise ships, oil platforms and whole buildings. In the photo she is moving inland water barges destined for Holland from China, where they are built for cheap. They are relatively light, and she is not even at full load.
Thank you! I was wondering about those flat-bottomed vessels.
Load More Replies...Look at the left book, it is 6 but turned upside down.
Load More Replies...The top of these says the menu. I'm more curious as to which restaurant requires an 8-book-long menu.
These are cookbooks: https://www.marktplaats.nl/v/boeken/kookboeken/m2055644264-menu-spectrum-recepten-encyclopedie-8-delen
Load More Replies...Did anyone laugh hysterically after looking at this, as I did, or did you have to turn it around and upside down in your head about…9 times to get it?
Dr. McInnis does acknowledge, however, that many puns are not very enjoyable to hear. “A lot of puns are really terrible,” he told Pursuit. “It’s a bit like the jokes you get in Christmas crackers that are notoriously bad, and part of that is a communal bonding thing, you know. You hear a really bad joke, everyone collectively groans … it’s a bonding exercise.”
Has the distinct scent of lint fire and roofing tar with just a hint mothball
Kinder is German for children, as in kindergarten and kinder eggs
Load More Replies...I don't usually like photoshopped stuff, but this is cute and well-done.
It's likey AI, with the prompt being "egg plant"
Load More Replies...So I won't need cooking oil and a hot pan any longer? Sweet!!! XP
I'm glad they used sunny-side-up eggs – decent challenge. Others would just be over-easy.
Sometimes, our brains even come up with puns without us even realizing it. Have you ever tried to ask someone if they’d like to meet at a certain time, but you accidentally asked them if they wanted to “eat” because your stomach was growling at the time? These little Freudian slips are one way our minds come up with puns without even consciously trying.
YOU'VE BEEN HIT BY, YOU'VE BEEN HIT BY A SMOOTH CRIMINAL
Load More Replies...Other fruits that live up to their name: Blueberry... Green bean (yeah, believe it or not, that's a fruit... Other fruits that don't: Bananas. They're fairly calm and dull, actually.
I believe the first "egg" plant brought to England produced the small white round fruits, hence "eggs" but that's just my own thoughts on the topic.
Load More Replies...Idk and idc where that is, just someone please take me there. So freaking beautiful
I don't know what a sland is, but the iSland is the most expensive and innovative of the lot.
English is also a particularly great language for coming up with puns, as there isn’t even a word for “pun” in Italian or French. John Hajek, Professor of Italian Studies and linguist in the University of Melbourne’s School of Languages and Linguistics, says this is because English is full of homonyms and has less complex grammar than many other languages.
“This is a result of all the vocabulary we have inherited from Germanic, and all the vocabulary we’ve borrowed from French and Latin, which means it’s a lot easier to find words that sound the same, but whose meaning is different,” he told Pursuit.
the thought that I assume was going through the friends mind was sweet, at least.
Or maybe he knows more about someone's plans for your immediate future...
Load More Replies...yet some how implying someone's bed is infested with beg bugs is totally fine
We hope you’re having a great time scrolling through these puns, pandas! Perhaps by the end of this list, you’ll have the qualifications to become a pun pundit! Keep upvoting the pics that you can’t help but laugh at, and then if you’re interested in reading even more clever puns, you can find our last article featuring the Wholly Pun Bible right here!
Any older folk here remember the old computer game Robocod/James Pond?
On my Sainsbury's receipt, the baby carrots are from Austin Powers - it says "Carrots, baby"!
That famous joke: Bond:I'm agent Random woman's at bar: secret agent? Bond: no, bloody Oriflame.
30 minutes if alone, if there were other people on the bridge i would factor in some addition time to shake the bridge
5000 bucks and the entire stock of the transformers section of a toy aisle
I was thinking more courage but I like the vodka idea much better
Load More Replies...There is a 2017 movie "Loving Vincent" in which it is shown there is evidence (analyzed in modern times) that Van Gogh was murdered, that his death was not a suicide. Having worked in forensic sciences, I found it very credible. Evidence, and what was accepted as sound testimony in the days of his death, was not very reliable.
I have heard that theory as well - that he had mentioned in a letter to his brother that he was being harassed by delinquents; he sent the letter 2 days before the gunshot.
Load More Replies...I had a goh at it, but I just couldn’t cut through the symbolism!
But it could be caught in a landside. No escape from reality.
The haddock's had it, this is no place for the plaice, sorry cod not think of any more.
u just ruined mine, these BPs and a bunch of people passing by's childhood
We're no strangers to love You know the rules and so do I (do I) A full commitment's what I'm thinking of You wouldn't get this from any other guy I just wanna tell you how I'm feeling Gotta make you understand Never gonna give you up Never gonna let you down Never gonna run around and desert you Never gonna make you cry Never gonna say goodbye Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you We've known each other for so long Your heart's been aching, but you're too shy to say it (say it) Inside, we both know what's been going on (going on) We know the game and we're gonna play it And if you ask me how I'm feeling Don't tell me you're too blind to see Never gonna give you up Never gonna let you down Never gonna run around and desert you Never gonna make you cry Never gonna say goodbye Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you Never gonna give you up Never gonna let you down Never gonna run around and desert you Never gonna make you cry Never gonna say goodbye Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you We've kn
You're udderly milking this for all it's worth. No bull.
Load More Replies...They get stuck on the bridge because their horns don't work.
Load More Replies...I wonder how steep the incline up to the bridge is. Their calves must be burning…
I hope the bridge was designed for that weight or it is coming down soon.
That's ok, you don't need a lot of room. Just somewhere to keep your keys.
Tasteless and not great to see. Slightly fattening with hair. Yep that's mcdonalds
How many other people looked down at their keyboard to confirm if the M and N were switched in the picture?
My best office prank ever: attach a second wireless mouse to a coworker’s (or loved one’s!) computer that you can see from your desk. The trick is to be subtle! Only move the second mouse while they’re moving theirs, and slowly, ever so slowly, move it in one direction. Madness guaranteed to follow.
I have a friend who can type perfectly when blindfolded so this wouldn't mess with her, but ne? I would mot stamd a chamce
How could you! Absolutely preposterous...dom't act like such am aminal!
Weird Al or weird AI? It's kinda important because a capital »I« can easily be mistaken for a lowercase »l«...🤷🏽
Load More Replies...i mean technically its just a car version of those bendy buses. :D
Except that they bend round corners, rather than up and down.
Load More Replies...What snowflake freaks out over a Richard's nickname? The world is totally bonkers.
since the faster you go the more time slows down, the way to speed things up is to be absolutely still. or you could ask the other person to run around really fast to slow down time for them.
Wait, even your spouse, who allegedly has a key, has to knock? Unless you're talking about ex-spouses? But why would you want them to visit?
Because it's super expensive to replace and people keep buying iPhones
Load More Replies...https://vignette4.wikia.nocookie.net/nokia/images/a/a6/Nokia_1110.jpg/revision/latest/scale-to-width-down/2000?cb=20100124155749
Could be frustrating. Logo looks like just part of the tip. Might have to be into edging.
omg I never noticed that about the logo. Well, never thought of it like that that is.
Load More Replies...lol that's not what a therapist is supposed to do tho ; make u feel worse, so just don't do that
But that's why it's a joke! Therapist is gonna make you feel better (unless they're rubbish).
Load More Replies...i bet theres a funny story behind the reason for needing this warning
The difference between “taking her out” and “taking her out”
Load More Replies...And he, in turn, is their appendix because they can all live without him.
Iron man? Curious if this was supposed to be abbreviations for females and men? Fe Ma or Wo Me?
His inventing Calculus didn't help him impress women. All his pick-up lines seemed so derivative.
How they can know something he never addressed himself? (Not my downvote)
Load More Replies...I 've been all 3 at the same time since molecular cloning requires microbes.
My mother was walking down the road when she was brutally attacked and is now in a coma with a 1% survival rate and the rest of my family got into a brutal car wreck so bad I almost couldn’t identify the bodies 🥰🥰🥰
Load More Replies..."I bought some dehydrated water..but I didn't know what to add" Steven Wright
Al is a punk who plays by his own rules- he didn't come to the photoshoot
Load More Replies...I hate donating blood, they always ask me questions like, "who's blood is this", and "where did you get it?"
And "You can't bring that here in a 5 litre bucket"
Load More Replies...They should have read it when it was up there.. edit: also so tiny tapes!
since these are all the same person from multi realities it would be 3/3
“Red Bull gives you wings” has been the energy drink’s slogan for nearly two decades. Now the company has agreed to pay out more than $13 million after settling a US class action lawsuit that accused Red Bull of making false and misleading advertising claims." https://www.businessinsider.com/red-bull-settles-false-advertising-lawsuit-for-13-million-2014-10
DC films are so dark you can hardly see anything?
Load More Replies...add hot fudge (maybe some melty peanut butter) and you got yourself one delicious snack.
Someone needs to learn how to spell. Poor kid doesn't have a chance.
It's from a funny video. Here's the link: https://youtu.be/EShUeudtaFg?si=vdg-RAomQ4ogDC55
Load More Replies...I've worked with (and for) people who couldn't legitimately make this claim.
