50 Epic Burns Of 2024 That Turned Insults Into High Art

LOL

Take that bob manning 😆

This should be number one. Really funny and so accurate.

There is no enough aloe vera for this one.

Announcers? Like at a sporting event? Or a doctor giving a family a medical update on their family members who just underwent a serious medical procedure? Hmmm.

Rich people: Working for your money is something to be grateful for. Also Rich people when they have to work for their money: Can’t someone else do it?

Nailed it!

Tripped over by their own lying tongue

Most people don't "get" Outlook. I know for sure it can do thousands of things. Me? Inbox. Some folders. Sent and Drafts. Boom

Re-started. The OG Great Reset. Once in a while. Like a good clean up you know...

My pitbull would have had a party with that!

"you pinecone" 🤣 I'm stealing this one

Men and women cannot exist without each other. End of. And electricity has existed since the world was created, naturally. Our own bodies generate electrical impulses.

🙂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

Wait, so under the American health system someone can required treatment as a medical necessity and the insurance company can say 'we don't think you do' and refuse to pay for it??????

I will from hereon call people upper class crumpets. Or lower class crumpets, depending on how foul of a mood I am in.

Heath Lerr sounds very much like H1tler when you say it out loud....

"I'll thank you not to refer to Princeton that way!" -- Cecil Terwilliger.

.. of which there should be many many more in the US.

And alcohol

The bank of the creek near your house. Go bury your money in it.

Oh that's precious and I SO agree with this.

See, I hate people who go to someone else and expect them to go real cheap because it’s “easy work”. If you’re gonna ask other people to do your chores, you should expect to have to pay for it. It’s clearly not work you *want* to do, which is why you’re not doing it.

Yeah, Eddy's family tree is a trunk.

The kid's got a hobby that will develop their brain, rather than one that stands a good chance of giving them a traumatic brain injury. Sounds like a win to me.

I'm not sure how your teeth could be a narrow body of water connecting two larger bodies of water.

Soon to be 20, bodycount at 0 and I'm perfectly fine ! Don't let other people tell you that your worth is defined by your bodycount, high or low.

I've lost track of my body count because I'm so freaking old & have a rotten memory. On reflection, I think it's probably 1 because my wife & I have been together for more than 60 years

Still got a bodycount of 0 at 40. Still not revelant to my day to day life or job or anything like that.

46 and bodycountless here.

I'm in my 50s and I've never killed anyone.

At first i thought they meant they were killing people, than I figured it out

Calling it a body count is indicative of no class or respect

Tell me without telling me how youve been raised

Is this the number of people one has killed as in bodycount during the Viet Nam war?

Who am I, where am I

Who am I, where am I

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'Murica, exactly what our founding fathers meant it to be. In case you aren't able to figure it out, total sarcasm

Such an odd comment. So now young women are vilified if they sleep with men, that makes them a 's**t' and now not sleeping with someone is a red flag! Some Men need to get it together.

Sorry I don't go around wantonly preventing people from living.

How many people should I have unalived by now? Gotta hit those goals.

I'm 30, body count 1 and it's my fiancee. Bite me, Raven.

Since when did a term used for wars and serial killers become a term used for how many people you slept with?

Bryn

Bryn

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worrying about other people's body count at 18 is a BIG red flag

Speaking as someone who worked in a blood bank, having a low "body count 🙄" is a very good thing! You guys would not believe the amount of first time/new donors that test positive for stuff that they don't even know that they have. I was already happy to be Ace (no, I'm not a Virgin and Yes, I've tried it") but 14 years at that job taught me that if you're having sex...for the love of God use a condom!! It's going to sound paranoid, but at least try to occasionally have some type of bloodwork done. Even if they aren't specifically testing for certain things Like HIV, Hep A, B or C it will still show alterations in your bloodwork. Some people are asymptomatic and may not show any signs that they're sick. We've also discovered people with Autoimmune Disorders, Sickle Cell Anemia, various forms of Cancer, etc. that weren't showing signs yet and was able to catch it early enough that getting started on treatment plans increased their chances of survival or improved quality of life.

As you are probably an american, does that mean killed or shagged?

I know that the OP are probably in the USA, where there is a dumb thing called the 2nd Amendment, but is it expected that you use it to kill someone before you are an adult?