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Parenting is hard work. Luckily, experienced moms and dads are tweeting how they handle their everyday struggles to let the beginners know what it's like raising kids. Or at least amuse them while they're drowning in diapers. From taking your little one to the public toilet to making them put on pants, these hilariously funny parent tweets compiled by Bored Panda should definitely resonate with sleep-deprived parents of little kids who just want to catch a break. And if you don't have a kid, they might give you an understanding of what you'd be getting yourself into if you choose to become one.
For more funny tweets, check out Bored Panda's earlier posts 121 Hilarious Parenting Tweets That Every Parent Can Relate To and The 298 Best Tweets On Parenting Of The Year So Far (New Pics).
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
TheExtremeSmell 6 years ago
Can you imagine if someone actually went through with this lol like you’re up for adoption we just don’t want kids anymore. And they’re like 9 and 12
泰淳 沢野 4 years ago
The Edtech is booming nowadays. The possibility of Edtech is great. Here are the apps of Edtech. https://apps.apple.com/app/abacus-game/id1370412661 https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=xyz.appmaker.davdgw&hl=en_US&gl=US https://abacusshapes.blogspot.com/ With these apps, you can master mathematics and languages quickly.
In his book, The Ten Basic Principles of Good Parenting, Laurence Steinberg, PhD, provides a few guidelines based on 75 years of studies. Most parents do a pretty good job of raising kids, the psychologist said, but truly effective parenting means not just relying on natural instincts but on knowing what works and why as well.
For starters, children should never be hit -- not even a slap on a toddler's bottom, he told WebMD. "If your young child is headed into danger, into traffic, you can grab him and hold him, but you should under no circumstances hit him."
Steinberg's 10 principles aren't just for parents. They hold true for anyone who deal with children -- coach, teacher, babysitter, he says.
RELATED:
#2
"What you do makes a difference," Steinberg said. "Your kids are watching you. Don't just react on the spur of the moment. Ask yourself, 'What do I want to accomplish, and is this likely to produce that result?'"
The hard part is that being an involved parent doesn't only take time, it also means rethinking and rearranging your priorities. "It frequently means sacrificing what you want to do for what your child needs to do. Be there mentally as well as physically."
However, being involved isn't doing a child's homework -- or reading it over or correcting it. "Homework is a tool for teachers to know whether the child is learning or not," Steinberg explained. "If you do the homework, you're not letting the teacher know what the child is learning."
What moms and dads need to remember is that parenting is a marathon, not a sprint. Adults work on their relationships with other adults, including friendships, marriage, and dating, and the same should apply for their relationship with their kids.
#3
Martha Meyer 6 years ago
I once ate peanut halves given to me by a friend's toddler. I found out too late that she'd been carefully licking each and every one of them before giving them to me...
Charly Charleen 3 years ago
Once one of my brothers ate a pancake after my niece first washed it in the toilet and then passed over it a few times with her toy car. I've seen it but he was too fast to warn him XD
Annet Fransen 5 years ago
Yep... I've become very good at hiding these things in napkins while going yumyum. Much to do the dismay of parents who think I'm being a wimp...
Borgia 137 6 years ago
I contracted chickenpox on cousin's wedding.. I was 29-something. Nightmare😅
#4
Rebecah Ozuna 6 years ago
Why can't we comment on overly downvoted people???????? I demand freedom of speech.
Char Char 6 years ago
I don't down vote them. Maybe if we all don't they won't get their jollies off and will slink back to their mommy's basement.
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Linda Kirkland 6 years ago
According to my (late) mother, when I was two or so, I would call, "Don't come see me now, Mommy!". Always a dead giveaway...
Karen Head 5 years ago
That was our go-to mantra when anything got knocked over: “NOTHING BROKE”
Edwina Heise 6 years ago
If our toddler is doing something she shouldn't in another room I will say "*her name* come here" and she will say "No, leave me alone!"
#5
Teban Cartagena 6 years ago
*Gets back from the death just to make sure the data is off and wifi is on so I can rest in piece*
GenXandEarnedItAll 4 years ago (edited)
While standing in the kitchen, 5 year-old yells for me to come here quickly. I race in, "Can you reach that glass for me? I'm thirsty?" "I'm sorry. Is the one you've been drinking out of all day and sitting right in front of you not to your liking?" When what I really want to say is, "ARE YOU F'N KIDDING ME?"
Joe Nemeth 5 years ago
My wife to our daughter: “The next time you die, I want my phone back.”
#6
Flisey 6 years ago
When life throws you lemons... hug it, care for it and take it sightseeing ^_^
Peppa Neon 6 years ago
I can relate when my 7 year old was a baby he fell in love with a potato and he carried everywhere until it rotted 50253129_5...98fecc.jpg 
Louise Gerathy 6 years ago
My son was obsessed with pumpkins for a while, it was no where near Halloween
Misty Suarez-Forehand 6 years ago
My son drags around a peach table cloth that he swears is a sheet
Ashley Galyen 6 years ago
Why am I wondering about the logistics of replacing the lemon with a new one? I hope she's not attached to a specific one!
Kathleen Julia 6 years ago
My son was in love with a vacuum attachment. He brought it everywhere and called it baby.
#7
louis porter 6 years ago
Don't forget pushing the elevator button, and picking up random pamphlets at the bank or post office.
Kim Conroy 6 years ago
or pressing the elevator button-death stares if you press it. and the sidewalk button!
GenXandEarnedItAll 4 years ago
Unless you're in a public restroom. There the terlet can apparently bust your ear drums and then you get sucked down the pipeline. Poor things. Any a tip for new mommies out there. Keep post-it notes in your purse (or my proffered 80's girl f***y pack). Put one over the eye for the automatic flusher. Makes for one less "dramatic-traumatic" melt down. True story!
AQUINNAH POLOZOLA 6 years ago
no if you do anything ´first´ you are punished by loud screaming and crying
ARC ANIMAL RESCUE 6 years ago
When my daughter was 3yo, she had dificulty peeling bananas, so I would pre-peel/start it then put the skin back on so she could have hte satisfaction of doing it herself. Grandma came to visit, kid asked for a banana, so Grandma peeled it completely and handed only the banana fruit to her loving grandchild. The screams could be heard in New Jersey. We live in CA.
Elizabeth Fawcett 6 years ago
Same for pushing the elevator button or the door accessibility buttons - meltdown.
#8
Foxxy’s #1 fan 6 years ago
My son would beg to differ. I was on the bus 2 days ago and my son picked his nose and he presented a gooey booger. I went to get him a tissue and as I tuned to give it to him he put it in his mouth and even gave it a little chew. Blurgh, it was so gross lol.
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Lisa Rzeplinski 6 years ago
Idk why I relate to this so strongly but I'm literally laughing and crying at the same time ;)
#9
Lotus Queen 6 years ago
@BoredTrashPanda you know im getting kinda of sick of you. Why don't you try to say something f*****g positive. You need to f*****g stop being an a*****e you f*****g jerk.
deanna woods 6 years ago
Thank you for telling them this. I think they might be a troll though.
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#10
Erika Jones 6 years ago
I will never forget the time I was in the dressing room at Kohl's with my toddler son and while my back was turned he decided to crawl under the partition and visit the lady in the next one!
Sarah Kate Lamming 6 years ago
I had two young boys aged about 6 and 8 put their head under the partition and watch me as I tried on bras in a lingerie shop. When I saw them I screamed and tried to cover myself up. It felt so wrong in so many ways. I complained to the mother and to the store as I did feel really violated. The mum just shrugged and laughed which made me more upset. She really needed to keep a closer eye on her children! I now don't change my clothes or try on clothes in a store unless it's a totally sealed room. It was a massive breach of my privacy and no laughing matter at all.
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Clinton Yew 6 years ago
That reminds me of the time I was in the public restroom and the kid in the next stall starting a live broadcast of his dad's business..."
Linda Kirkland 6 years ago
DETAILED observations, tyvm. With play-by-play and local color added.
Kenyatta Harmon 4 years ago
"Mommy you have a hairy coo-coo". I saw that on another post somewhere.
Ann Abdelzaher 6 years ago
I agree! imagine my embarrassment when my 2 year old boy was questioning me about my period in Target's restroom
#11
Liam Walsh 6 years ago
My dogs can never wait to get out of the bath! It's hard work keeping them in it.
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ARC ANIMAL RESCUE 6 years ago
Parents who are self-aware raise WONDERFUL children - who generally have a wonderfu lsense of humor...:-)
Jerald Lifsey 6 years ago
I think I'd be afraid to take (too long) a shower because of what the 3 y/o would have time to get into.
#12
Chris Watson 6 years ago
Look! If kids can believe in the Easter Bunny, the boogie man.. etc - they can believe Disney is locked. Great idea mom. Ignore the other comments.
Martha Meyer 6 years ago
I read an article about parent tricks once, where someone had convinced their kid that youtube gets turned off after 8 pm.
Jay Freeman 6 years ago
"One thing kids like is to be tricked. For instance, I was going to take my nephew to Disneyland, but instead I drove him to an old burned-out warehouse. 'Oh no,' I said, 'Disneyland burned down.' "He cried and cried, but I think that deep down he thought it was a pretty good joke. I started to drive over to the real Disneyland, but it was getting pretty late." — Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey
Gabrielle Daylano 6 years ago
Lying about santa, toothfairy etc is right, but a little lie like this is bad? Parents deserve a little lie once in a while if its makes it easier or funnier.
Vinay Krishnan 6 years ago
Isn’t as bad as “the beach is locked”, I tried with my 2yr old yesterday 🤣🤣
Missy Corron 6 years ago
Been telling mine its closed for renovation...... for the last 13 years.
Katrina Serrano-Rodriguez 6 years ago
My biggest one is in any public establishment, "The bathroom is closed"
#13
Rebecah Ozuna 6 years ago
If she got to win at such early age, wait for those beautiful teen years. She'll be spitting fire!
Robin Mahonen 6 years ago
I got a call from school once, telling me to remind my daughter to put on her underwear....
MyCatsTheRealPanda 6 years ago
George don't you ever have the urge to go without pants!?
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David Martin 6 years ago
I was once at the airport waiting for the plane when I hear the 4-6 year old across from me say "Why can't we get on the plane yet? I'm bored". The mother didn't even bat an eye before saying "Well maybe if you ever went to bed on time, the airplane wouldn't have to be late." Those things are not even remotely related, but I applaud your parenting, Stranger Woman
GenXandEarnedItAll 6 years ago
When I was pregnant with my third child my 6yo son asked me if he could watch the baby be born. He was very serious when asking questions and very curious. I gave him straight answers and didn't lie about anything. So I finally decided I'd show him an elephant being born. It's a mammal. Same process, right? Baby elephant comes out, no movement. Mamma elephant starts kicking the baby and hitting it with her trunk. My son looked over at me and said, "If our baby doesn't move after its born are you going to kick it too?"
#15
Ashley Galyen 6 years ago
Depends on the child. If they are generally noisy and it gets quiet or If they are generally quiet and it gets noisy, things get suspicious.
#16
Aman Bhullar 6 years ago
Why do people downvote opinions..... Michelle thats the exact expression i would give... Wtf lady seriously?
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Harry Howard 6 years ago
I use Halloween as an income tax lesson - 10% of all candy goes to Dad.
ARC ANIMAL RESCUE 6 years ago
(ahem) It's MOMMY TAX, sir. Also works at the dinner table for dessert. Or McDonalds ice cream. All the friends of my child were thusly educated. (Doesnt matter which Mommy is closest, ALL Mommy's enjoy the proceeds from Mommy Tax) Sir!
Load More Replies... Michelle Muirhead 6 years ago
If my children were not listening to me, all I had to say was “chocolate”, instant response!!!!
Markus Holstein 6 years ago
When I was a kid I simply didn't want my mom to assume I'd come running whenever she called my name like a dog. I wanted her to give me a reason why she wanted me to come ("Markus, dinner is ready!" "Markus, I want you to mow the lawn!") so I could decide whether or not I regarded it important enough
#18
Rebecah Ozuna 6 years ago
Being a single and childless doesn't seem so bad knowing this........experiences.
miten sasmita 6 years ago
My baby refuses home cooked balanced meals, but will gobble up every bread / cookie crumbs she could find.
#19
Chyppa Homer 6 years ago
And if you find them actually doing nothing, you take their temperature :D
#20
Jennifer C. 6 years ago
HAHAHA! This is my fave and also applies to the grandkids staying over for the weekend... don't miss the 7-hour matinee showing of "Mom/Dad always let's me do/eat/watch that...." :D
Dirgni San 6 years ago
Kids I babysat used to try that one. I'd just say, "I'm not your Mom." Usually, it left them stumped.
Load More Replies... Rebecah Ozuna 6 years ago
This shows how much time has changed. I wasn't allowed to annoy as a kid if i did, the belt would get me. Child services wasn't a thing and it was worse for adopted children.
Deborah Kelly 6 years ago
Okay, I am a songwriter, so I'm going to take up the mantle and create these.
GenXandEarnedItAll 6 years ago
Or the second you sit on the terlet or pick up the phone to talk to someone.
#21
CincyReds 6 years ago
I get so tired of seeing those. An ultrasound photos...nothing is private anymore. Even the pictures they take immediately after the baby is born. Just please keep that for you and your partner....no one wants to see that. But you know everything has to be on social media....I really miss the 90's
Aphrodite 5 years ago
Someone I know shared her ultrasound because when she saw it, it looked like my friends father was kissing the child in the ultrasound. Before he died, he said he would protect her baby. It looked exactly like him.
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Tillie Martinussen 5 years ago
This was... Awesome.. . Had to pause for a minute for dramatic effect. Laughed my pants off.
#22
Dianna Siever 6 years ago
I hope this was a stall inside another bathroom, but in my heart I know the door opened directly into Target's entry way.
Katie Smith 6 years ago
That is exactly what I was imagining and have now suffered serious second hand embarrassment.
Load More Replies... Jennifer Crompton 6 years ago
I bought a kid leash the day my 2 yo unlocked the bathroom stall and RAN for the door to the outside while I was mid-pee. Thank God another woman was in there and scooped him up before he could make a break for it.
#23
David Martin 6 years ago
My all time favorite was using a restroom in Disneyland, and from the next stall I hear "No, no, no, don't touch that with your penis!"
Batty 6 years ago
I was walking through an elementary school hall & I heard a little voice from the boys' bathroom say, "Look! No hands!"
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Elisavet Palazzolo 6 years ago
'DONT EAT YOUR SISTER'S VOMIT' - thankfully, I was talking to my cats >^x__O^<
Michelle Klaahsen 6 years ago
I have a really really long list of "things I never thought i'd say", since I have been a parent. One is stop licking the dog, and another is don't sit on the table on your plate. Ugh....My kids are now 22 and 15. Somehow I keep finding more to add .... It's quite the adventure at times.
Lisa Reuss 6 years ago
Under Things I Never Even Thought About Saying Until I Had A Son: “Stop touching your penis!”
Sanne H. 6 years ago (edited)
Recently in German class, I told a fellow classmate I watched The Big Lebowski in German, so now I had learned how to say things like "he peed on my rug", but I regretted that phrases like that are not very useful in everyday life. "Well," he replied with a smile, "I have this two-year-old kid..."
#24
ARC ANIMAL RESCUE 6 years ago
I gave my neighbors children a box with a good $100+ of lego assembly kits. Later I found out she just threw the whole thing away UNOPENED because she didnt like the parts ending up on her perfect floor. (sigh). Despite this parenting, she still have pretty good kids. I wish she had just give it to Goodwill or another family or even exchanged it at the store, instead of TRASHING IT. Such is the anti-Lego contingent.
#25
Katie Smith 6 years ago
Exploding Unicorn's kids are quite sassy and hilarious.
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Keisha Washington 6 years ago
BURN!!! My mother would have slapped me so hard that my head would be facing backwards.
Tami Bridges 6 years ago
Ya'll have to check this guy out on twitter...he and his children are hilarious!!!!! I don't even have a twitter, but my friend sends me screenshots all the time. 4 daughters...diabolical!!
Marlene Ricker 6 years ago
You cannot have an ego when you have kids. They will cut you down to size every time.
#26
Christopher Deegan 6 years ago
Ever had to vacuum up lego pieces that your boyfriend didn't put away? WE DON'T EVEN HAVE KIDS!!
Logan Scaggs 5 years ago (edited)
WAIT! WHAT??? How old even is he? I've never lol'ed more at anything than at this comment.
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Ian Taggart 6 years ago
Do you WANT your kids storming your bedroom with flashlights and plastic forks?
L.A. Homsey 6 years ago
My mom used to do something similar. She swept them up, plus took whatever I was playing with at the time, threw them into a bag and tucket them away somewhere that I could not access. Later when we were out she would make me watch as she delivered them to good will explaining that they were for a child less fortunate than me who valued their mommy's time and energy more than me. That is who really deserved my toys and she was right.... of course but I didn't realize it until much later Lol! I think it was just a chance to teach empathy and purge our tiny house but because she was an American Indian, a lot of her choices and "life lessons" also included efforts not to negatively impact the environment. I miss that lady!
#27
Aria Whitaker 6 years ago
Agreed. That first sandwich would not have gotten re-made in my house....eat it or be hungry.
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Foxxy’s #1 fan 6 years ago
Haha, when I was younger I wanted a bowl of cereal, I never had milk coz I don’t like it but this day I decided I wanted milk so my mum asked if I was sure and I was adamant I wanted milk. She started pouring and I was supposed to tell her to stop so I did. Then I winged that it was too much milk. Well guess what my mum did, she put me outside and tipped the bowl of cereal over my head lol.
Spikey Bunny 6 years ago
Until mine could handle eating cereal and milk without making a giant mess, I mixed their Cheerios with yogurt. They loved it!
Load More Replies... Rebecah Ozuna 6 years ago
Save the sandwiches for when they ask for food later and then tell them that until they eat the whole thing, they'll be nothing else for them. Don't mind the tears, rants or complain. You're the parent, so... parent!
GenXandEarnedItAll 6 years ago
I gave my daughter a PB&J (with crunchy peanut butter) one time. As I walked out of the kitchen she started bawling. When I asked her what was wrong she said, "There are peanuts in my peanut butter!"
Dianna Siever 6 years ago
That, my friend, is a problem that will correct itself if let alone for long enough.
#28
Laurie Ostergaard-Overbey 6 years ago
LOL great movie, except for this very line you are paraphrasing!!
#29
NCC~1701 6 years ago
Mine roll over for belly rubs whenever I’m doing anything. Especially cleaning.
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Kimberley Thom 5 years ago
My cat Smokey continues to not only swat at the broom that's not bothering him as I try to sweep in peace and walk ahead of me every time in his pursuit to kill me and collect my life insurance.
CaptainDinosaur 6 years ago
We have to guard the dirt pile like it's Ft. Knox. "Yes Foley that is your fur and no you can't try to eat it."
Belinda Crum 6 years ago
I do this at work, when I'm sweeping the breakfast area, at my hotel. If anyone is walking my way, that's what I yell. "Don't step on my dirt pile."
#30
Jane Alexander 6 years ago
And then there's the time that my little brother painted our dog pink and the neighbors s dog too.
Cristina Misievici 6 years ago (edited)
and if you don't have nail polish, white-out will do just as well, especially on natural oakwood :{
Fiona de Wolfe 5 years ago
My daughter wrote “I hate you” on my car steering wheel in clear nail polish - at least it was clear!
#31
Great Panda Mamu 6 years ago
I figured the parent was intentionally trying to get them to do 'that'. It was the only thing that made sense to me.
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Kimberley Thom 5 years ago
It sounds like another cat situation. Which is why I always have my water spray bottle ready. "Try me!"
#32
Hans 6 years ago
Call me hopelessly romantic, but when they ultimately lie in bed, sleeping peacefully cuddled, you know what true happiness is and how you have contributed to it!
Rebecah Ozuna 6 years ago
Why not talk about that some parents don't want to make their children happy? Many have them as a way to get a gain.
#33
Jennifer Crompton 6 years ago
My kids love our fridge so much, they named it. Craig is one of their favorite people
#34
Rebecah Ozuna 6 years ago
I'm saving my children out of this horrible torture by not having them. Church is boooring!
Evripidou Maria 6 years ago
better yet let them decide if they're church people once they're old enough
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Pat Hatley 6 years ago
These comments make me very sad. Jesus is my Lord and Savior! It is not about religion, it is about a relationship....how can your children decide it they are never introduced?
Peta Hurley-Hill 6 years ago
could just avoid the whole conversation by avoiding organized religion all together.
#35
Bob Beltcher 6 years ago
Never stopped us. We just put something in front of our door so if she comes in we'll hear her before she sees us.
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Lola Pagan 6 years ago
me vs the kid i babysit who is now 1 yr old and runs like death is chasing him
Christopher Deegan 6 years ago
Well I guess I know where I'm going…does toddler like hot chocolate, and what does he/she charge for concierge service?
Ian Taggart 6 years ago
Relatable, but I'm STILL NOT LOCKING THE NURSERY FROM THE OUTSIDE, CELESTE!
#36
Crochet lady 6 years ago
Whenever my kids would get on the floor our beagle would lay on top of them like they were a piece of carpet. It was pretty cute.
#37
Ang.stl 6 years ago
Did you know Alexa has a “fart poem” skill? Yeah, I’m so glad I’m the cool aunt now. Sigh. Also, you can just tell her to fart, and she puts my 6 year old nephew’s best attempts to shame. Sigh.
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#38
Rebekah 6 years ago
Please do not confuse me with the Rebecah below. I beg of you. This single mom knows better than to say something so ridiculous.
Rosie Hamilton 6 years ago
My father was incredibly lazy and didn't do a single thing to help my mother - why anyone assumes that two parents automatically equals better I'll never know.
Load More Replies... Aria 5 years ago
To the Rebecah Ozuna who said: "....this is why women need to have the daddy in the picture, to take turns on the raising. But i understand now why many youths are adopting pets than having kids of their own." Women do not "NEED" to have daddy "in the picture." Just like men do not necessarily need Mommy in the picture to raise a child. Please understand how the world today works, rather than whatever backwards universe you must live in.
Barry Collins 6 years ago
I seriously believe there should be compulsory night classes & exams for those contemplating parenthood.
Lucinda Overhoussen 6 years ago
I have been saying this for years. The decision to taking the class shows willing. The classes should cost half their income too... Just so you know what it'll cost.
Load More Replies... Layla Corman 6 years ago
Well, when Daddy isn't in the picture, Mommy gets it done!
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Rebecah Ozuna 6 years ago
Hahaha! Pass the baby around. Her priorities are set as high as mine.
John Datri 6 years ago
Her: Awww. Can I hold your baby? Me: Of course. Here you go. [later] Her: Here’s your baby. Me: No.
#40
Sonya Jersey 6 years ago
lol same goes with the sound of your pet throwing up. instant wake up
Rosie Hamilton 6 years ago
Oh yes! Fortunately my dogs go 'urk, urk' for several minutes so I at least get time to throw them off the bed!
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Charlese Bonca 6 years ago
Ah yes. Flu season is an alarm that is sure to get you up in the morning
katboxjanitor 6 years ago
That or he sound of a cat retching in the middle of the night....next to your pillow.
Kimberley Thom 5 years ago
I suggest upgrading to a cat barfing. That makes a better alarm clock to get you out of bed and your skin.
#41
Roxy Eastland 6 years ago
In our house the proper way was called 'the banana way'. The toddler is now 16 and I can guarantee she doesn't put her socks on 'the banana way' because it took too long to no benefit.
#42
#43
Nianudd 6 years ago
Why can't we eat pizza for breakfast? I don't understand. I'm 38 and had spicy tomato and bacon pasta for breakfast. I don't get this 'thing' that you're only allowed certain foods at certain times.
#44
Ashley Galyen 6 years ago
That's when you hold out your phone, take a short video and say you're recording. Then browse the internet the rest of the time.
Load More Replies... Layla Corman 6 years ago
We are currently in the handstand phase. I've seen more than a carrier Olympic judge in the last 2 weeks of my life.
#45
Tim Schwister 6 years ago
How did you "accidentally" do this? Wouldn't you have to purposefully do that? Also, why are you bothering those people? Just curious. It just seems alltogether weird.
#47
Logan Scaggs 5 years ago
Oh my god to you! I love your username!!! That made my day!
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#53
GenXandEarnedItAll 6 years ago
Oh, let them sleep in your bed until they turn 5 or so....problem solved!
Liam Walsh 6 years ago
Has it always been tough getting children to sleep? I don't remember having difficulties or my silblings. This is curiousity, not a criticism. I was scared of my parents wrath, particularly my dad. I certainly don't think that was better at all... though we did behave.
Foxxy’s #1 fan 6 years ago
All depends on the child. My kids are usually pretty good getting to sleep but a friend of mine has troubles getting her kids to sleep, she has to give them melatonin.
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#57
#58
Logan Scaggs 5 years ago
And Elton John? And Bruce Springsteen? I'm jealous too now!
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#60
#61
Jennifer Crompton 6 years ago
Exactly. My 2 favorite moments of the day are when my kids get on the school bus and when they get off.
#63
Hard 2 Guess 6 years ago
Don't look it up. Dan't speak of it. Don't think of it ...just j....just forget about it.
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#66
#67
Foxxy’s #1 fan 6 years ago
That is actually untrue. There are severe cases of food phobias in some kids with ASD and other disabilities and they will starve themselves so they have to be tube fed. Also there is such thing as eating disorders.
Load More Replies... Rebecah Ozuna 6 years ago
Let them starve or have them watch you eat something they would love.
#68
#73
#75
Jennifer Crompton 6 years ago
Maybe you need to practice your sense of humor
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#77
Hans 6 years ago
Spaced Mom is blessed. It is her tupperware. Non breakable tupperware. And not the fine porcelain...
Sean Reynolds 6 years ago (edited)
* Non-Breakable Tupperware* Exists; kids: Challenge accepted
Load More Replies... Cristina Misievici 6 years ago
and all the kitchen towels will be used as doll bedspreads / picnic blankets 🙄
#79
#81
Jennifer Hunter 6 years ago
Amazing feeling! Until your 3yo figures out how to unlock it using her thumbnail and barges in anyway. 😫😫
GenXandEarnedItAll 6 years ago
Mine will draw pictures and shove them under the door or write down questions. Good gravy! I'm only going to be in here long enough to poop and wash my hands!
#84
#86
Foxxy’s #1 fan 6 years ago
I have an acquaintance that has 10 kids and I see her regularly but I have NEVER seen her with more than 2 kids in tow.
#88
Carol Emory 6 years ago
I love the Child Protective Services group that took a couple with learning disabilities to court to remove their parental rights from their new baby (they already had a 4 year old.) The CPS workers brought up the subject of nutrition stating that the couple failed to feed their older child a health diet of boiled chicken and, instead, they were feeding the boy chicken nuggets. Nothing is more glaringly obvious that someone is not a parent when they live with the crazy idea that any toddler is willing to eat boiled chicken without an hour of begging, bargaining and bribing. In the end...they still win because you give them the chicken nuggets just to make sure they eat SOMETHING!
Liam Walsh 6 years ago
True. Plus who thinks boiling chicken is a good way of cooking? Yuk.
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#96
#97
GenXandEarnedItAll 6 years ago
Oh...no....Jojo, that annoying girl with the big bows in her hair. My daughter is in pre-school. What parent let's their child watch that c**p, let alone a 4 yo?
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#103
Kip The Otter 6 years ago (edited)
Me and my brother were tasked to do the dishes every night (including emptying the dishwasher and washing pots and pans) since we were roughly 10 or 11. I was doing my own laundry since I was 9. I had to vacuum, mop, sweep and dust since I was 12. I don't think it's that difficult to tell your child to do something. It's all about discipline when they don't do it. Correcting when they do it wrong. Rewarding them when they do it. I know I sound like I'm bragging but I'm not. I know people are going to downvote this.
#106
#107
Cindy Snow 6 years ago
" we are going back to sleep before the early morning monster finds us. He bites off the toes of anyone awake before 8 am! "
#109
Nunya 6 years ago
I have often wondered my companies that sell mac n cheese in the box don't just sell the cheese packets alone. They'd make a fortune selling to those that just want the packet to put in something else...
Yettichild 6 years ago
Kraft doesn't sell the cheese packets separate, but a company called Hoosier Hill Farm makes a product called Big Daddy Mac Mix that tastes exactly like Kraft mac and cheese. You can get it on Amazon. I found them when I discovered I was allergic to wheat and couldn't have regular mac and cheese anymore.
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#120
Foxxy’s #1 fan 6 years ago
I have a rule, 1 drink bottle a term and that’s it. They have a spare one at home to take on car rides or camp trips but for school they get no more. They have access to drinking fountains so they won’t dehydrate but I am sick of buying drink bottles all the time.
#136
Foxxy’s #1 fan 6 years ago
I gather it didn’t work otherwise you would be rich by selling your secrets.
#143
Erika Jones 6 years ago
Remember people used to say if you swallowed your gum it would be in your body for 7 years? LOL
#144
#149
#165
#172
#174
Isabel Care 6 years ago
Why don't people attach the shoes to the trousers with safety pins and string on these occasions. Wouldn't be as dangerous as attaching my gloves to each other with elastic threaded through the sleeves of my jacket (I filled them with conkers and used them like a bolas)
#175
Jennifer Crompton 6 years ago
My toddler got so mad he said he was going to call the police on me. Then asked me to help him call the police
GenXandEarnedItAll 6 years ago
"Go ahead! I could use a 3-day break in jail!'
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Foxxy’s #1 fan 6 years ago
I don’t understand all the fuss about candy corn. I have tried it a few times and it is absolutely revolting.
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What do you think ?
Aunt Messy 6 years ago
Yep. Suck it up, wiener-boy. We're off to Prague....alone.
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Spikey Bunny 6 years ago
My 24 month old son locked me in the patio/converted to office when I was 9 months pregnant... Had to squeeze my preggopotamus self through a small window & down onto the deck just to get back into the house to him in a hurry... & delivered his healthy sister just 2 days later. Uuuuugggg! It was a rough couple years, but we still laugh about that moment 23 years later! XD
chi-wei shen 6 years ago
My wife told me being a mom of small children consisted of making food no one wants and counting to three.
Clinton Yew 6 years ago
I can't take it anymore, my stomach is hurting from all the laughter...
Aunt Messy 6 years ago
Yep. Suck it up, wiener-boy. We're off to Prague....alone.
Load More Replies... Spikey Bunny 6 years ago
My 24 month old son locked me in the patio/converted to office when I was 9 months pregnant... Had to squeeze my preggopotamus self through a small window & down onto the deck just to get back into the house to him in a hurry... & delivered his healthy sister just 2 days later. Uuuuugggg! It was a rough couple years, but we still laugh about that moment 23 years later! XD
chi-wei shen 6 years ago
My wife told me being a mom of small children consisted of making food no one wants and counting to three.
Clinton Yew 6 years ago
I can't take it anymore, my stomach is hurting from all the laughter...
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