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With 2017 rapidly coming to an end, we thought we'd update our hilarious list celebrating the funniest parenting tweets of the year. From moms getting accused of being horrible parents because they won't let them play with a chainsaw, to dads who try to solve all of their parenting problems with cookies, the funny collection of tweets compiled by Bored Panda is sure to resonate with sleep-deprived moms and long-suffering dads everywhere. Don't forget to vote for your favorite!

#3

Parenting Tweets

R_A_Dadass Report

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John Louis
Community Member
7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

remember as you kids hysterically run and play like maniacs, they are not burning energy, they are building it up.

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#8

Funny-Parenting-Tweets-2017

copymama Report

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Mike Irwin
Community Member
7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

More importantly: can _you_ remember (without checking Google Calendar!) :)

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#11

Funny-Parenting-Tweets-2017

tomgara Report

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David
Community Member
7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Time to cut the kid off of YouTube and spend some time with him, instead of letting the internet raise him. Our parents did it with TV, now parents are doing it with the internet

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#15

Funny-Parenting-Tweets-2017

MyMomologue Report

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Evgeniya Khon
Community Member
7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Some people don't even have a thing they can look forward to, so you're lucky:))

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#18

Funny-Parenting-Tweets-2017

Lhlodder Report

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eyo too
Community Member
7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

One of my wife's first grade students brought in mom's book for silent reading: How to Become a Pole Dancer. "Apparently" it was a prank gift and the mom was horrified, but luckily had a sense of humor.

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#25

Parenting Tweets

tigermcleash Report

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Kathy Trites
Community Member
7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Once my then 3yr old nephew convinced a gymnasium seat block he lost his chipmunk while his dad was coaching hs basketball. It was imaginary.

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#27

Funny-Parenting-Tweets-2017

ComedicBust Report

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Ariana Jager
Community Member
7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It's about the time. 7:00 is late for parents. Kids gotta go to bed soon after and strangers can't always put kids to bed effectively.

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#28

Funny-Parenting-Tweets-2017

outsmartedmommy Report

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Zenozenobee
Community Member
7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

There 's something even more frightening: a silent home when you have kids. It can only means that something terrible is on.

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#31

Funny-Parenting-Tweets-2017

Lhlodder Report

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DeAnna Anderson
Community Member
7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I love how we are expected to know how to do all this new math and english stuff that they are teaching the kids these days. Nothing like how we were taught.

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#33

Funny-Parenting-Tweets-2017

Lhlodder Report

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Zenozenobee
Community Member
7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Lately I came up with a new strategy with my 4 yo: "if I have to say it once again, I take a playmobil". I line up my little hostages on a top shelf he can't reach. The first time I had to punish 12 playmobils for an afternoon, after two weeks I have around 4 playmobils on the self every days (I dentify his favourit ones to target them first) but I'm beguinning to have success with the "threat" only ;p

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#38

Funny-Parenting-Tweets-2017

Cheeseboy22 Report

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Zenozenobee
Community Member
7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My man exactly... and then Disney bought Starwars licence and now he's buying action figurines for our son. Right, for our son ;p

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#39

Funny-Parenting-Tweets-2017

Discourt Report

#41

Funny-Parenting-Tweets-2017

ksujulie Report

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BFFPanda
Community Member
7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That’s when you just have to sit down and say, “It was evil Ninja Turtles that came and stole my clothes. I was up later than you because I was tired from fighting them” 👍

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#42

Funny-Parenting-Tweets-2017

TheCatWhisprer Report

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Chelle Belle
Community Member
7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

my boyfriend does not have any kids, I have an 11 year old. every time he poops he has to immediately shower afterwards, turning a regular one hour man poop into a hour and a half.. i'm like, if we ever have a kid together, you are gonna have to get over doing that. you'll be lucky if you get the bathroom to yourself for five minutes.

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#46

Funny-Parenting-Tweets-2017

OneFunnyMummy Report

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Elizabeth Mitchell
Community Member
7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Or explain awkward story lines, like......why Prince Charming kissed a dead corpse, why Jack was seeing giant bean stalks, why Alice was tripping out, who created Neverland, how three bears managed to talk, and why a girl broke into their house.......

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#47

Funny-Parenting-Tweets-2017

21stcenturysahm Report

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Kiss Army
Community Member
Premium
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I can't tell you how many jackets we have had to stop and buy before I got smart enough to leave one in the trunk.

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#50

Funny-Parenting-Tweets-2017

effinghandbook Report

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Kenny Kulbiski
Community Member
7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I had to do some repair work in an elementary band room once. In August. They were already practicing their Christmas program. Why that teacher didn't pursue a career in panhandling defies understanding.

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#54

Funny-Parenting-Tweets-2017

MotherPlaylist Report

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#56

Parenting Tweets

PetrickSara Report

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Marnee DeRider
Community Member
7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You know, it was just a dumb TV thing with kids talking about their parents coming to "all their games" or "never comes to watch me play" that started this off. Before that, it wasn't a thing, to my knowledge. Maybe watching the big game(s) at the end of the season was important, but I couldn't have cared less about my parents watching me play soccer for most of the season when I was in grade school. I think they just dropped me off. Parents demand too much of themselves based on fake TV parents.

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#58

Funny-Parenting-Tweets-2017

LurkAtHomeMom Report

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Misterscooter
Community Member
7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

And be there half an hour before for warmups, gotta leave house at 6:15, feed them and get them dressed by 6:10 so gotta start trying to wake them up at 5:20 which means I need to get up to get ready at...Dear God!!

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#59

Funny-Parenting-Tweets-2017

LurkAtHomeMom Report

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olivia martinez
Community Member
7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Mary popins voice* "come on kids lets go" 15 mins later Batman voice*" I SAID LETS GO!"

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#60

Funny-Parenting-Tweets-2017

Six_Pack_Mom Report

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Elizabeth Mitchell
Community Member
7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

School for my child meant a major shift from well behaved, to learning cuss words she never heard before.

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#63

Parenting Tweets

themessednest Report

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Sillyist
Community Member
7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I know a lot of parents have troubles with this. But it's easily remedied. Just make the kids never want to be in the bathroom with you ever again. I recommend a nice giant bowl of French Onion Soup, with a side of caramelized onions garnished with green onions in an onion reduction sauce.

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#64

Funny-Parenting-Tweets-2017

DadandBuried Report

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cassiereroni
Community Member
7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My 5 yr old daughter asked me one day if she could have an elephant. I explained to her that she couldn't because elephants are too big. She looked at me with bewilderment in her eyes and informed me we *had* some elephants and she just wanted one. I proceeded to tell her we didn't have any elephants and she came back with "Yes we do Mommy". So I asked her where the elephants were and she said "in the refrigerator Mommy". I then told her "Honey, there aren't any elephants in the refrigerator but she insisted there were so I took her to the fridge and we looked inside it. She got all excited that stated "See Mommy, there they are". She was pointing to the olives. I tried to hard not to laugh uncontrollably and gave her her elephant.

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#65

Funny-Parenting-Tweets-2017

2questionable Report

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Misterscooter
Community Member
7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Me: *Explains how to do math problem* , Me: *Walks away and double checks with Google* , Me: *Comes back to fix something I "forgot" to explain.*

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#68

Funny-Parenting-Tweets-2017

MyMomologue Report

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serena
Community Member
7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is me every single night!! Falling asleep with my daughter, then waking up at 11:30 with a million things to do before I can go back to bed.

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#70

Funny-Parenting-Tweets-2017

sarcasticmommy4 Report

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Evelyn Adele
Community Member
7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That is when I made them start cooking for themselves. Finally heard it enough.

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#73

Funny-Parenting-Tweets-2017

KateWouldHaveIt Report

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DeAnna Anderson
Community Member
7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Oops! LOL. That is when you detour to McDonalds like you had it planned all along.

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#77

Parenting Tweets

MotherOctopusKJ Report

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Evelyn Adele
Community Member
7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Or insists on wearing a heavy sweatshirt in 95 degree weather. In humid Florida!

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#78

Funny-Parenting-Tweets-2017

LurkAtHomeMom Report

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This Is Me
Community Member
7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Omigawd, I thought my children would be so well-behaved because I was very good at training my dogs. Boy, was I mistaken!

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#81

Funny-Parenting-Tweets-2017

XplodingUnicorn Report

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Kristel Bijnen
Community Member
7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

When my sister was young, she was freaked out by seeing a teacher at a store. She really thought they lived at school. She did not understand it at all, haha.

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#82

Funny-Parenting-Tweets-2017

MotherPlaylist Report

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Imperfekt
Community Member
7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Well that goes right along with my earlier comment about finally giving in to my 3 year old who couldn't be convinced that pickle he was demanding was not a pickle but a pepper.

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#83

Funny-Parenting-Tweets-2017

XplodingUnicorn Report

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Bonnie Alcorn
Community Member
7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My one-year old granddaughter puts her hand up to her ear every time someone's phone rings!

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#84

Funny-Parenting-Tweets-2017

PerfectPending Report

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Elizabeth Mitchell
Community Member
7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Halloween. Good parenting strategy that reverses all the education about not taking lollies from strangers........

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