30 Hilarious Tweets That Show What Marriage Is All About

Priorities

Perfect

He needs to scream louder

..but you don't need a raincoat

its like when you lose something and check everywhere, and your mom tells you to look somewhere you've already looked but you check there anyway and find it there

My partner does this all the time. I'm colorblind! How the hell am I supposed to know these two pieces of clothing "go together" ? One covers my legs, one covers my shoulder legs, they "go together".

Before marriage you probably didn't know to put the seat down but now, bc someone loves you, you do :)

I'd forgive him just for using such an adorable play on words!

YES! Alphabetizing the CDs is not what I had in mind.

my husband is usually the one moving my glasses, he sees them and thinks they are in a bad spot. When I wake up I need help, because of him!

*sigh*clops! Awesome screen name!!

We've changed a few things in the living room last week and we still haven't stopped congratulating ourselves on it.

It's so he could Cheeto death :P

Without fail, my father will fall asleep to ANY movie that we watch.

😂😂😂😂 perfect!

... and they know...

Quickie... Quiche . you could have both

lol

The key word being finally

Men! *smh*

Hey, at least he listened without interrupting

You are well within your rights to divorce him. He knew what he was doing. He has to pay the price

yeah, my hubby was looking for a bowl, he spend about a minute looking. me: what are you looking for? hubby: a bowl me: they are right here, where they have always been. hubby: well they where not their 8 years ago me: no, but they were there 7 1/2 years ago.

My husband just had his 52nd birthday. So i congratulated him on being able to tolerate me for so many years.

That shows the great depth of love for you and compassion for the waiter.

Well. since garage shelves were a "game changer" guess you won't be needing the counter space for sex so, Yeah~ Go Hog Wild!

There is an ancient Chinese proverb: If a vegan does CrossFit, which do they tell you about first?

I'm at a loss. Sounds like she thinks she is too...

Thanks, I was one of the 8. Glad I know now!

Don't do it, I hate being left handed. Everything is built for righties :(

all the seasons of Downton Abby, 3 seasons of Victoria, 3 seasons of the Crown, 3 seasons of Versalles, and 8 seasons of Game of Thrones.

And color swatches and paint chips