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Of all the funny things kids say, their silly questions usually just take the cake. What should you do with a question like ‘Why do spiders run away when I fart?’ if not laugh at it? Admittedly, though, not all of the funny kids’ questions are hilarious in a ha-ha way, but rather baffling and confusing, evoking the only natural response to such nonsense - laughter. Still entertaining, but in a perplexing sort of way. And if your own kid’s funny questions aren’t enough for you or if you want to feel seen as being not the only one with a kid who has the most original ideas, this article is exactly right for you. Yup, this is our collection of the funny questions kids ask - do with it as you wish, but we can promise there will be laughter if you decide to read it!
You know what makes these questions truly hilarious? The fact that kids have no filter - they just go and ask about whatever pops into their minds. Add in the factor of childish naivete, and voila, you have a whole list of funny things kids say. And it seems that these funny kids never disappoint - from needing to know if rainbows are the food of plants to holding a firm belief that eyes don’t exist because you can’t see them, each question is funnier than the last!
So, the funny kids’ questions are just a bit further down, just where they are supposed to be. Once you are there, give your vote for the silly questions that tickled your funny bone and share this article with anyone who you think will find it relatable!
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#1
"Why does Santa give poor children such c***py presents? They should get the best ones."
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#2
"My little brother was in kindergarten and he'd never seen his teacher outside of school before. We bumped into her in the grocery store one evening and he yelled to me, 'Who let her out?'"
#3
"My 8 year old cousin said to me, 'Since there are microscopic germs inside us, what if we are just some microscopic germs inside an even larger animal?' I was high at the time so it totally tripped me out."
#4
“Why are you buying beer, Dad? Do you know how much candy we could get with that money?”
#5
"My 5 year old after I explained the concept of breastfeeding: 'Can you squeeze 'Capri Suns'outta those things or just milk?'"
#6
"My daughter asked me whether I realized that showers were just human sized sinks and this is why I don’t bother wasting my time talking to grownups."
#7
"I was watching fireworks with my son sitting next to me. He calmly said, 'The sound is slower than the lights.'"
#8
"We were all in the car together and little brother (maybe 7 years old) pipes up with, 'How do we know we aren't just characters in a book someone is reading?'"
#9
"Not so much a question, but the other day when we were in the car my 2 year old said, 'Guys, here's the deal: I need a penguin for a magic trick.'"
#10
"My 3 year old was walking out the front door without telling anyone. I saw him and asked where he thought he was going. He said: 'I'm just going outside to look at the world,' and kept on going."
#11
"My 5 year old once told me, 'Where are you going with your life, daddy?' It hit me so hard I almost cried."
#12
"Shopping at our local supermarket, my 3 year old (at the time) looks around, and suddenly asks, at the only volume he knows: 'Daddy, are these all those stupid people?'"
#13
"My niece asked me: 'When I turn 4, what happens to my 3?'"
#14
“Mom… my belly hurts… am I pregnant?” - asked by 5-year-old boy.
#15
"My 3 year old daughter asked my extremely pregnant wife how the baby got the toys into her belly to play with. After explaining that he didn't have any she ask, 'Can I share some of my with him?'"
#16
"My 3 year old son just asked me, 'Can you take me to the Vampire State Building?'"
Kylie Mountain 3 years ago
I had a children's book called The Vampire State Building. The First Son of the United States befriends a bunch of bats, an anteater, and I forget what else, and I think in one chapter they have to get to the top of the Empire State building past a series of progressively larger vampire bats. A supremely weird bit of surrealism.
#17
“Why can’t I see my eyes?”
Hatred Pony 3 years ago
My 4 year old son often asks me if his eyes are still there, like he just dropped them somewhere walking around.
#19
“What did it feel like on your last day of being a child?”
Headless Roach 3 years ago
Last day? How old do I have to be to reach that day? I *may* have missed mine 30 years ago.
#20
"Why do people smoke if they know it will kill them?" - my stepson.
#21
"My 6 year old daughter asks, 'If we stop thinking about someone, do they stop existing?'"
Corn Cornelius Cornwall 3 years ago
baby if that's how it worked, you wouldn't even had been born
#22
"Heard in my house today: 'Dad why do old people always look so creepy? Is it because they are decaying?'"
#23
"A 10 year old once told me, 'I don't think there is a good or a bad. I think it's all perception.'"
#24
"I once heard a kid ask his mom, 'Where does a circle end?'"
#25
"Daddy, does 'blue' look the same to everyone else as it does to me, or could my 'blue' be your 'red?'"
#26
“What is the name of the space between the bits that stick out on a comb?”
#27
"My son just asked me how I know his name. I'm not in the mood today."
Michael Largey 3 years ago
"Your father told me Ask him." (Good parenting means sharing the load.)
#28
"What happens if you throw a tomato at the sun?"
#29
"My little 5 year old brother asked me, 'If the sun is on fire, why is there no smoke?'"
Hono Klatuu 3 years ago (edited)
Just play him "Why does the sun shine?" By They Might be Giants. So catchy and fun plus science.
#30
"Waiting to pay for groceries. My 5 year old: 'Did the tooth fairy get my balloon from Albertson's?'"
𝖍𝖆𝖓𝖉𝖘𝖆𝖓𝖆𝖙𝖎𝖟𝖊𝖗 3 years ago
well did the tooth fairy get his balloon! Someone help this poor child and get them a balloon ASAP!
#32
"When I was 4 years old, I asked my mom, 'When Daddy was a little boy and you were a little girl, who were my parents?'"
#33
"Oh my God, why are you so obsessed with clothes?!" - my 6 years old, when I asked him to hurry up and get dressed for school."
Michael Largey 3 years ago
If I (now 71) had begun a sentence to my parents with "Oh my God", those would have been the last three words of my life.
#34
"As we were sitting at our table, I said 'Why are we here, daddy?' 'Well, we're here to have lunch!', he replied. 'No, no. Why are we here on this earth?'"
#35
This kid was about 6 years old: "If you open a window when it's cold inside and warm outside, does warm air come in or does cold air go out?"
#36
"Is time real, or just measured on clocks?"
#37
"My little boy came home from school and said that they had been learning about Jesus and God, I seem to recall it was around Christmas time. I asked him if he believed in God. He replied 'No, I just believe in myself.'"
Lizard Queen 3 years ago
I have nothing against people who believe in gods and goddesses but that is a great attitude!
#38
"My 5 year old sister once came up to me, and out of the blue asked, 'Is death just sleep? And going to heaven means you're dreaming and going to the underworld means you're having a nightmare?' Never been more stumped in my life."
Myriah Fields 3 years ago
i once heard that when your body does that fake fall thing before you sleep, it means the angels carrying you to heaven have dropped you
#39
"My 4 year old son: 'Why do we only live for a short time, but when we die, it's forever?' I did the best I could with that one. Wasn't easy."
Michael Largey 3 years ago
Tell him that life here on earth contains many eternities - like when that person in line ahead of you insists on trying to pay with exact change.
#40
“Why did swear words get invented if we’re not allowed to say them?”
#41
"Daddy, is everything made of atoms?" "Yes honey, everything." "Even dreams and shadows?" "Bedtime."
A_scalene_triangle 3 years ago
Well shadows are just the absence of light (or something like that) and dreams are thoughts so no?
#42
"I teach swimming lessons. My favourite question has been: 'When do we learn how to breathe underwater?'"
DancingPanda 3 years ago
I’m a lifeguard, apparently my missed out on receiving my gills, my coworker on the other hand….
#43
"If Santa was a pirate, does that mean all the presents he gives are stolen?"
#45
“How do I know that I’m real and not just a dream of someone else?”
#46
"My 4 year old once asked, 'Daddy, if we have November, then when is yesvember?'"
#47
"If God is so great then why won't he let us talk to people in heaven?" - my 5 year old cousin to her very religious mother.
#48
"When I was a child I went up to my aunt and said, 'How thick are your human eyelids?'"
#49
"If you want a front row seat for a temper tantrum, my 3 year old just asked me for warm ice."
#50
“If plants need rain and sun to grow, and rainbows are made of light and water, are rainbows plant food?”
#51
"My kid asked what day it is so I told him Wednesday and he said, 'I don’t agree with that.'"
#52
"My 4 year old nephew looked out the window when we were driving cross country: 'That's my world out there, isn't it?'"
#53
"If God is so big, why can't I see him?"
#54
5 year old son: "Did Santa Claus live in the time of the dinosaurs?"
#56
"As I was driving my little cousin to and from school, he peers out the window and says, 'How do we know that the car's moving? How are we not sure that the world just moves around the car?' I promptly pulled over so my head could blow up."
Marek Čtrnáct 3 years ago
This is the Galilean relativity: no absolute notion of either rest or motion.
#58
"On this day July 23, 2018, at approximately 6:45 am, my 4 year old bulldozed onto my bed until our foreheads touched and she asked, 'Are you excited for Christmas?!'”
#59
"My 3 year old asked me if she could shave the window and it took me a couple minutes to figure out that she wanted to use squeegee."
#60
“How did people make the first tools, if they didn’t have any tools?”
#61
Out loud and in public: "What's wrong with your face?"
#62
"After hearing, "That's what she said" from people over and over again my 9 year old niece asked, "Who is this girl everyone keeps talking about, and what did she say?" It was adorable."
#63
"Did you know god can't even kill ghosts? What's up with that?"
#64
"My 4 year old brother: 'Do people die like flowers do?'"
#65
“Where do thoughts come from?”
Headless Roach 3 years ago
Some say that if you hold farts for too long, they will turn into stupid ideas.
#66
"I know who God is, but who's 'God dammit?'"
#67
"Why don’t they make vegetables tasty?"
#68
"What are those? Is this the morning when we wake up? What's a planet?" - asked all at once then he ran off and pretended to be a super hero.
#69
"Britney Spears's music video 'I'm not a girl not yet a woman' was on and my 4 year old little sister is singing along, then suddenly stops and asks me, 'Well what is she then a boy?'"
Michael Largey 3 years ago
Someone who is no longer a girl, but not yet a woman, is a teenager - a temporary but entirely separate species.
#70
"When God was little, was the world small?"
Martin König 3 years ago
Like if they did not say it in the Bible. Very small. Just a piece of Africa.
#71
"My 6 year old cousin asked me, 'What life was like in the olden days?' I'm 24."
DancingPanda 3 years ago
Bro, I’m 16 and kids (mainly my brothers and kids I babysit) don’t believe me when I say I’m older than the iPhone
#72
"Driving by a cemetery, my 4 year old son saw a couple of people with watering cans. He asked, 'Dad, will your family grow back if you water them?'"
Robert Trebor 3 years ago
Quick glance: I saw "a penguin with a watering can" Don't know where I left my brain.
#73
"3 year old daughter asks, 'Why do you go to work if work makes you sad?' I answered, 'For you.'"
#74
"Why is the sun following me?"
#75
"Do women get their periods on weekends too?"
#76
3 year old: "Do you know what pregnant means?" Me: "What?" 3 year old: "It means you can't bend over."
#77
"My son just asked me when I was little if I had to stay inside for Covid."
#78
"My nephew asked my grandma if she was a slave. I left the room."
#80
“Why do we have to be born young and grow old, why can’t we be born old and get young?”
#81
Son: "Daddy, what is the first day?" Me:" Sunday or Monday, depending on the calendar." Son: "No daddy, what is the first day?" Me: "Ever? Oh. oh."
#82
"What shape is your soul?"
Karen Johnson 3 years ago
When I was little, I visited a hospital with my parents, where they had a huge mural of a caduceus on the wall. Knowing that the hospital is where some people die, and that the soul leaves the body upon death, I thought the caduceus was a drawing of a soul! Even decades later, when I see one, I still think that.
#83
"My son asked me if the letter 'W' starts with 'D' and I can’t stop thinking about it."
Paddling Panda 3 years ago
Ay, Bee, See, Dee, Eee, Eff, Jee, Aitch, Eye, Jay, Kay, Ellen, Em, En, OH, Pee, Kue, Are, Ess, Tee You, Vee, Double-You, Ex, Why, and Zee/Zed.
#84
"Is cereal a soup?"
#85
"Since your eyes are blue, does that mean you see everything in blue?"
Livingroom Panda 3 years ago
unless the upvote button is an obscure shade of brown, sorry kiddo. that is not how it works.
#86
While cookies are baking, “Are the cookies loading?"
#87
"My son once asked me, 'What does purple do?' I have yet to come up with a reasonable answer."
#89
"While driving to the store, my daughter asked if we were inside the car's stomach. What a terrifying way to see the world."
#90
"6 am question from my 4 year old, 'Mommy how deep is your brain?'"
Michael Largey 3 years ago
Some brains are so deep that they're bottomless. Anything you put in them will fall right out.
#91
"Hey mom, what's the difference between a landline and a real phone?"
#92
"Do you think mermaid's fingers prune from being in the water for so long?"
#94
"Do boats ever have wheels?"
#95
"Can you buy me a girlfriend for Christmas? Everyone else has one and I feel left out..." - my 9 year old cousin.
#96
"Do you have any ninja stars, or metal, or anything else you think would be appropriate for me to throw at my brother?"
#97
"My 6 year old sister once said, 'Wouldn't it be cool if we had invisible eyes and we could see all the invisible things?' I just thought how scary that would actually be."
#98
"When my son was 4 years old, he asked me, 'What number is right before infinity?'"
#99
"Why do some people make rubbish packed lunches? Why don’t they make them like you, mummy?"
#100
"Kids are great if you like being asked at 6 am why doesn't Moana get sand on her feet when she walks on the seafloor after the ocean splits."
#103
"I live in Florida where in the summer it will sometimes rain while still being sunny outside. My son was 3 years old at the time and asked, 'Daddy, why is the sun crying?'"
#104
"My 5 year old just asked me a couple of days ago: 'Dad, why am I me? Why am I who I am?' Then he comically slapped his hands up on either side of his head."
#105
"I was lecturing my then 4 year old daughter for some transgression (don't remember now what it was) when she looked at me thoughtfully and said, 'You don't know what I'm thinking in my head, do you?' It was a little creepy."
#106
"My cousin asked me, 'When the music plays, does the rhythm flow through our ears, and into our brains, and then do our brains have special parts that choose if we like the music or not?'"
Rich Cronshey 3 years ago
accurate though. Who is it that likes what we like? When I like something it's more like I discovered than did anything.
#108
"Not especially deep, but my 3 year old used to ask, 'What does my nose smell like?', when she caught a whiff of something. Interesting perspective."
#110
"My son just asked me why spiders don't get stuck in their own webs, and now I'm questioning everything."
Marek Čtrnáct 3 years ago
Spiderwebs are sticky because spiders attach droplets of glue to them. The webbing itself is not sticky. Spiders don't get stuck because they know where the sticky parts are -- they are the ones who put them there!
#111
"My son just asked why the 'Death Star' wasn’t called a 'Shooting star' and I honestly couldn’t answer him."
#112
"My 3 year old just asked what kind of stuffed animal I am, and now I'm questioning everything."
#113
“In the olden days, was everything black and white?”
#114
"Daddy? How is space made?"
#115
"My little cousin asked me, 'If we were in real life or if we were some kind of TV show?'"
#116
"Why can't I see myself? How do I know if I am real or not if I can't see myself?"
Michael Largey 3 years ago (edited)
It's just a mirror, young Dracula. No use getting your blood stirred up like that. Don't be a pain in the neck.
#117
5 year old son: "Dad, what are rats made of? Meat?"
Arliss Speace 3 years ago
"Charlie didn't get too much USO. He was dug in too deep or moving too fast. His idea of great R.and R. was cold rice and a little rat meat..." Captain Willard ..
#118
"How will we know when it's the future?"
Michael Largey 3 years ago
You know the future has arrived the moment you have to say "It's too late to ..."
#119
"Does real freedom exist or is it just an illusion?"
Robert Trebor 3 years ago
If it didn't exist people wouldn't try so hard to take it away from others.
#120
"My 3 year old niece once asked me why people fall out of love."
#121
"My 5 year old neighbor was recently at my house and posed this question: 'What do teenagers really think about?'"
#122
"Why humans don’t have tails?"
Michael Largey 3 years ago
Some of us do - the FBI, the CIA, the NSA, the local vice squad (in my case), ...
#124
"But why can’t we have lollipops/chocolate/beer for breakfast?"
#125
"My kid asked why 'I'm up for it' and 'I'm down for it' have the same meaning and my attempt at an answer frustrated both of us."
#126
"4 year old daughter just asked how mermaids go potty. I'm stumped as well. Any ideas?"
Jocie (she/they) 3 years ago
THIS WHOLE POST IS GIVING ME SO MANY EXISTENTIAL CRISES SFGIHFDJKFGFRGLBTNRTUHHSDGHTFERGTHY&U/IK:BGFV
#127
"Why doesn’t the sky fall on us?"
#128
"My 5 year old niece fell asleep on my stomach while lying on the floor, when I woke her up she asked, 'I think I come out of your belly. Are you my mommy?'"
#129
"Is it adults that like Justin Bieber? Because none of my friends like him." - 14 year old.
Michael Largey 3 years ago
When I hear that name, I always think of "and Jerry Mathers as The Beaver." Would a name like "Beaver Cleaver" ever be allowed on network TV today?
#130
"If you were somebody else, would I still be me?"
Michael Largey 3 years ago
"You might as well be yourself. Everyone else is taken." - Oscar Wilde (supposedly)
#131
"What part of us thinks?" - 5 year old girl.
#132
"My nephew asked me the other day if I play with my own poop. Am I missing something?"
#133
"My 5 year old son asked me earlier today if animals have belly buttons, and if not, then why... I will have to look into that one for him. What a great question!"
#134
"Why do you need money to buy things?"
#135
"My 3 year old asked me if quesadillas grow on trees and I was just like, 'Not yet, girl, but dream big. Dream big.'"
#139
"What language do they speak in England?", asked by a 14 year old boy in Kansas after I told him I was from England.
#140
"Is that lady fat or does she have a baby in her tummy?", said very loudly next to the woman in question. She was most definitely not pregnant.
#141
"Is God a person or a robot?"
#142
"My sister was on the bus with my mom next to a man with dreadlocks when she asked loud, 'Mommy, is that a stranger?'"
#145
"Just today my 3 year old niece asked me, 'What does .com mean?'"
#146
"Where does the sun go when it is dark?"
#148
"How does Santa get in when there’s no chimney?"
#149
"Mummy, is there really a man in the moon?"
#151
“What is faster? Fire or dust?”
#152
"Checking out one day at a store, my 4 year old daughter looks at the cashier and (rather loudly) asks me, 'Dad, is that a man or a woman?'"
#153
"My 7 year old son" 'Dad, when is the world going to end?'"
#154
"I was taking a walk with my 5 year old nephew when he asked me, 'How can we see the moon if it's not in Earth?'"
#157
"If you go to heaven when you die, how come skellingtons live in graveyards?"
#158
"Did you swallow the baby?"
#162
"Does God sleep?"
Michael Largey 3 years ago
With some of the things attributed to Him, the question is "How could He?"
#165
"Does God have a wand?"
What do you think ?
Lily Siuta 3 years ago
What I gather from this is that the best philosophers are kids, and there should be a course of study in philosophy or university study (maybe paired with early child development) where philosophy students take child statements and connect them to schools of philosophical thought
phoenix_rising 3 years ago
ooooh as someone interested in philosophy I would love that
Load More Replies...
Brenda Spagnola-Wilson 3 years ago
Nephew once asked my mom if she was older than God or older than dirt? He was 4.
Lily Siuta 3 years ago
What I gather from this is that the best philosophers are kids, and there should be a course of study in philosophy or university study (maybe paired with early child development) where philosophy students take child statements and connect them to schools of philosophical thought
phoenix_rising 3 years ago
ooooh as someone interested in philosophy I would love that
Load More Replies... Brenda Spagnola-Wilson 3 years ago
Nephew once asked my mom if she was older than God or older than dirt? He was 4.
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