Get Premium
Dark mode theme is available exclusively for premium users. Learn more about the benefits of subscribing.
No fees, cancel anytime.
Dark Mode 
No fees, cancel anytime 
Of all the funny things kids say, their silly questions usually just take the cake. What should you do with a question like ‘Why do spiders run away when I fart?’ if not laugh at it? Admittedly, though, not all of the funny kids’ questions are hilarious in a ha-ha way, but rather baffling and confusing, evoking the only natural response to such nonsense - laughter. Still entertaining, but in a perplexing sort of way. And if your own kid’s funny questions aren’t enough for you or if you want to feel seen as being not the only one with a kid who has the most original ideas, this article is exactly right for you. Yup, this is our collection of the funny questions kids ask - do with it as you wish, but we can promise there will be laughter if you decide to read it!
You know what makes these questions truly hilarious? The fact that kids have no filter - they just go and ask about whatever pops into their minds. Add in the factor of childish naivete, and voila, you have a whole list of funny things kids say. And it seems that these funny kids never disappoint - from needing to know if rainbows are the food of plants to holding a firm belief that eyes don’t exist because you can’t see them, each question is funnier than the last!
So, the funny kids’ questions are just a bit further down, just where they are supposed to be. Once you are there, give your vote for the silly questions that tickled your funny bone and share this article with anyone who you think will find it relatable!
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
"Why does Santa give poor children such c***py presents? They should get the best ones."
RELATED:
#2
"My little brother was in kindergarten and he'd never seen his teacher outside of school before. We bumped into her in the grocery store one evening and he yelled to me, 'Who let her out?'"
#3
“Why are you buying beer, Dad? Do you know how much candy we could get with that money?”
#4
"My 8 year old cousin said to me, 'Since there are microscopic germs inside us, what if we are just some microscopic germs inside an even larger animal?' I was high at the time so it totally tripped me out."
#5
"My 5 year old after I explained the concept of breastfeeding: 'Can you squeeze 'Capri Suns'outta those things or just milk?'"
#6
"I was watching fireworks with my son sitting next to me. He calmly said, 'The sound is slower than the lights.'"
#7
"My daughter asked me whether I realized that showers were just human sized sinks and this is why I don’t bother wasting my time talking to grownups."
#8
"We were all in the car together and little brother (maybe 7 years old) pipes up with, 'How do we know we aren't just characters in a book someone is reading?'"
#9
"Not so much a question, but the other day when we were in the car my 2 year old said, 'Guys, here's the deal: I need a penguin for a magic trick.'"
#10
"My 3 year old was walking out the front door without telling anyone. I saw him and asked where he thought he was going. He said: 'I'm just going outside to look at the world,' and kept on going."
#11
"My 5 year old once told me, 'Where are you going with your life, daddy?' It hit me so hard I almost cried."
#12
"My niece asked me: 'When I turn 4, what happens to my 3?'"
#13
"Shopping at our local supermarket, my 3 year old (at the time) looks around, and suddenly asks, at the only volume he knows: 'Daddy, are these all those stupid people?'"
#14
"My 3 year old daughter asked my extremely pregnant wife how the baby got the toys into her belly to play with. After explaining that he didn't have any she ask, 'Can I share some of my with him?'"
#15
“Mom… my belly hurts… am I pregnant?” - asked by 5-year-old boy.
#16
"My 3 year old son just asked me, 'Can you take me to the Vampire State Building?'"
Kylie Mountain 2 years ago
I had a children's book called The Vampire State Building. The First Son of the United States befriends a bunch of bats, an anteater, and I forget what else, and I think in one chapter they have to get to the top of the Empire State building past a series of progressively larger vampire bats. A supremely weird bit of surrealism.
#17
“Why can’t I see my eyes?”
Hatred Pony 2 years ago
My 4 year old son often asks me if his eyes are still there, like he just dropped them somewhere walking around.
#19
“What did it feel like on your last day of being a child?”
Headless Roach 2 years ago
Last day? How old do I have to be to reach that day? I *may* have missed mine 30 years ago.
#20
"Why do people smoke if they know it will kill them?" - my stepson.
#21
"My 6 year old daughter asks, 'If we stop thinking about someone, do they stop existing?'"
Corn Cornelius Cornwall 2 years ago
baby if that's how it worked, you wouldn't even had been born
#22
"Heard in my house today: 'Dad why do old people always look so creepy? Is it because they are decaying?'"
#23
"A 10 year old once told me, 'I don't think there is a good or a bad. I think it's all perception.'"
#24
"I once heard a kid ask his mom, 'Where does a circle end?'"
#25
"Daddy, does 'blue' look the same to everyone else as it does to me, or could my 'blue' be your 'red?'"
#26
“What is the name of the space between the bits that stick out on a comb?”
#27
"My son just asked me how I know his name. I'm not in the mood today."
Michael Largey 2 years ago
"Your father told me Ask him." (Good parenting means sharing the load.)
#29
"My little 5 year old brother asked me, 'If the sun is on fire, why is there no smoke?'"
Hono Klatuu 2 years ago (edited)
Just play him "Why does the sun shine?" By They Might be Giants. So catchy and fun plus science.
#30
"Waiting to pay for groceries. My 5 year old: 'Did the tooth fairy get my balloon from Albertson's?'"
