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Have you ever stopped and wondered what God thinks of everything that’s going on in our world today? Well, if you have, you'll be glad to hear that The Almighty has a Twitter account. As of today, it has amassed more than 6.2M devoted fans while He Himself follows only one person on Earth—Justin Bieber.

The Tweet Of God is full of satirical jokes and razor-sharp humor that will hopefully brighten your day and help you let out a laugh or two. With the bio stating “Unverified; unverified”, the account is entertaining the internet with its hilariously witty tweets.

Bored Panda has collected some of the best posts God had to offer, so continue scrolling and upvote your favorite ones! Be sure to let us know what you think about them in the comment section below, and don’t forget to check out Part 1 of this post right here.

#2

God-Tweets-Funny

thetweetofgod Report

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Invisible Potato
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You know, feminism is when both have equal rights of decision, but this is more about individuals autonomy of theirs body...

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Kaylee Radcliff
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The post is saying that it should be done when the women chooses it. Is saying that the women is the one who gets to decide

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Kona Pake
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

A referendum should be passed forcing politicians to adopt unwanted children.

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Alexia
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I was about to get angry reading the first line, but then... :))

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Nikki Sevven
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Judaism, on which Christianity is based, values the life of the mother over the life of the fetus. Nor is abortion mentioned anywhere in the Bible.

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Leslie Crittenden
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm sorry to say I don't think God is a feminist, or at least not a female. Because the species can be continued if the female doesn't orgasm, but not if the man doesn't. And women get weak in the knees when sexually aroused. To keep them from escaping the sex. Never understood this.

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Mya Lugar
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Maybe God would say 'You know where babies come from? No, not from me..more like that guy who has no wish to be a good father" .Don't make your babys first rattle your brain.

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Tom Jones
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2 years ago

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I have intricately fashioned each baby. I have a destiny and a purpose for each and every unborn child. Killing a defenseless unborn child is murder. -God

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K Witmer
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

God told me he never wrote this bc he's not a human. Some guy made this up and only did it bc he wants to control all women bc he hates them. The devil must've tricked you bc he's got you pushing his message. It's ok weak minds usually think the devil will never possess them. Make sure you do gods bidding and crawl on your knees for miles. He demands that of you.

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Ryan Deschanel
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2 years ago

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Hmmm... I'm starting to wonder if this God is not actually an imposter... I'm pretty sure the real one thinks murder is not ok.

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K Witmer
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

There is no real god ffs and what murder? The murder of children that are forced to give birth? That murder? 11 yr olds dying bc their father raped them and they're forced to give birth to a 13 week old non formed no brain fetus? That murder then yes I agree. You don't care bc it doesn't affect you that's why you think you have a say in a woman's healthcare. If you were forced to give birth or was going to die bc of a fetus you wouldn't have this opinion that doesn't matter anyway. Women have found a way to abort fetuses since the dawn of time. It won't stop just bc men say so. Only women know what's best for their health. There's not a man alive that's knows what's good for a woman over what a woman knows.

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Dillon Hughes
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2 years ago

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That basically says under any condition the woman chooses? I don't think rape... This choice was hard for me but just because something bad happens doesn't give you the right to kill a child. Incest, well if it wasn't rape she chose to do it. I personally believe the only reason to abort is if the mothers life is in danger. You chose not to use protection. Choices have results, you made the choice now take responsibility.

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Jean Peterson
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Until you have a uterus and have seen the consequence, or been a victim of any those stated above. Then you sir kindly sit down, shut up, and remove yourself from conversations that you have zero place in.

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Amy Pattie
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2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The Bible literally talks about wearing a veil over your lower face when diseases. I don’t know where Christians find it discrimination when asked to wear one

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The voice behind The Tweet of God is David Javerbaum, a multi Emmy-winning American comedy writer from Los Angeles. He created the account in 2010 to promote his book, The Last Testament: A Memoir By God. Ironically, many people thought the book was actually a spin-off of the account since the latter took off so quickly.

Later on, he adapted both the book and the Twitter account into a play, An Act of God, which was performed on Broadway for two summers and then all over the world. 

Javerbaum is always playing his part, saying that he’s in fact working with and for God as a social media manager. He explained why the account is only interested in one person, Justin Bieber: “From what God told me, he only follows close family members. That’s all I could get out of him.”

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Julie C Rose
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2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

God made Jacinda and Jacinda banned my anti vax ex hairdresser from operating. :)

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If you’re trying to reach the comedy writer and have a little chat with The Almighty, don’t expect too much. He Himself posts a lot and sometimes even re-tweets with a snappy comment but does not participate much in conversations. “God replies to tweets exactly as often as he replies to prayers from other people,” Javerbaum said.

Even though The Tweet of God has many followers and is viewed as “the universe’s most popular unverified Twitter account”, it also went through some bad times. The account got hacked several years ago, which made Javerbaum quit for a year and a half. 

Also, Twitter suspended the account twice. One time, he used their blue badge in the background picture without their permission. “And that was just a purely legalistic suspension,” the founder of the account told The Last Laugh. “I was trying to imply that I was verified.” 

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The second time was in June 2019. “If gay people are a mistake, they’re a mistake I’ve made hundreds of millions of times, which proves I’m incompetent and shouldn’t be relied upon for anything,” the tweet stated. Twitter mistakenly thought of it as anti-gay. “So they got that one wrong and they realized it and I got back on,” the writer explained. “I let them know that their sense of irony had some deficiencies that ought to be corrected.” 

Last year, the founder went one step further and created a podcast called Godcast. “Well, I think of it as adapting a character. God is a character that I know very well. And he’s not any bigger of a character than any other character would be. He just happens to be God. But he’s, in many ways, just the cranky old man on the lawn of the universe. And I always thought that a podcast was the ideal form, more so even than Twitter, because it’s the voice of God.”

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BusLady
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Bless all the hard working health workers fighting to help these folks get well.

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Snorkeldorf
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I wonder if I'd find a good home where they'd keep me. I can be kinda moody and difficult. Don't get along with all hoomans although other dogs, cats and various critters are OK. Not a picky eater. I'm also loyal and protect my family fearlessly. Will not tolerate being crated after my youth. Hope I'd find a dog that would treat me like I always treated them. Paws (guess I would not have fingers) crossed!

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So it seems that David Javerbaum is fully engaged with this all-powerful character. Right now, he’s busy with publishing his response to King David’s The Book of Psalms titled The Book of Pslams: 97 Divine Diatribes on Humanity’s Total Failure

At the same time, the account is still going strong and continuing to entertain its followers with piercingly sharp humor. “The only time there would be no material for satire will be in a perfect world. And I don’t see that coming any time soon. I do think that if it were a perfect world, my [in]ability to make fun of it would be a small price to pay,” David Javerbaum said.

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Pearl
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2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Before he directs you to hell, that is. Antivaxxers should go to hell

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Monday
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Covid is the romantic partner from those crappy Hallmark movies. They'll change for you. They'll follow you around and keep trying even after you say no. They'll use your friends to get to you. They WILL get you one way or another.

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BlackestDawn
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

And in many cases it's not the opinion itself that others have a problem with, but rather the "fact" you use to base said opinion on. By that I mean that if you used actual facts you most likely wouldn't have that opinion.

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Chris Lehr
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Took a while but you showed up in the UK recently. Cheers for that. Now we look like we’re run by American.

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BusLady
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

No, you're not. She just couldn't wait to make heaven a sweeter place.

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