35 Hilarious And Honest Tweets That Show What People Really Think About Their Jobs

But they're better for their health!

Genius! HR has no sense of humour.

Kazoo s are fine anti-road rage devices. Rude driver? Cuss um out, but use the kazoo. Cracks me up every time.

HR can't stand the noise.

Hahaha, hahaha! Chaos!

Jupp. This is so depressing. I know we have it good compared to other people but still it's our burden and feels nothing less for oneself and it feels heavy to not having the energy to do nice things

For about 50 years. Then I retired and don't have the gumption to do much of anything. Thank heaven for BP!

YES. YES. BEEN THERE FOR A LONG TIME. Don't do this, if you need to "crunch" (I know, generally don't but it happens) do so for a pre-decided limit of time and stick to it.

Where did you hide the camera? How did you know what's going on in my head?

Okay so it's honest posts and hilarious posts, not honest and hilarious.

Money doesn't give you happiness, but the things you can do with money probably will

My favorite answer is 'There nothing that early retirement won't solve.'

Money can't buy you happiness, but it is one of the better subscription plans.

Does that mean they have one problem?

AMEN!

The whole job hunt thing is stupid "Why do you want to work for us?" "Because I haven't got a job you have one going and I'm also broke" apparently that isn't the right answer.

Just testing how many hoops you'll jump through to get the job

ChatGPT for the win!!!

I don't write them, it's never kept me from getting the job

The average All-hands meeting is more like having your retinas tattooed. Some C-suite goon with nothing to say but that's not going to stop them saying it.

Oh-my-gosh!!! I used to interpret for the hearing impaired during all employees meetings FOR FREE 😞

Why? HR should have been allowing you to openly discuss your salary the whole time, as is your legal right.

Here everyone knows how much you earn. Everyone gets the same salary from the same work. Of course if you're a nurse like me, there's bonuses for evening, night and weekend shifts. But the work schdules are made so everyone gets the chance to get the "bonus" money.

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lawsuit

and alpha, beta, sigma is astrology for incels

I had training at work that relied heavily on the MB personality assessment. I told the Training Dept that they wasted their money.

Someone who actually knew what she was talking about (Certified MBTI interpreter) said that it was interesting as long as you don't take it seriously. I'm an INFP, and it's not far off.

astrology is astronomy for the ancients who didn't really know how stars work.

The only personality test that is at least partly reliable is the Voight-Kampff test

"And we're tired of pretending that it matters to us."

I don't care if my coworkers like me. I'm not "intimidating" when I expect them to do their jobs properly and fix their mistakes. If they use materials and put it back in the wrong place, TAKE RESPONSIBILITY for it. If they know about something for two weeks and don't tell me until the night before, IT'S NOT MY PROBLEM. Etc, ad nauseum. I make mistakes, but I admit to them, I don't slough it off with "why do I have to do it?" I love Veronica, she's 100% spot on.

That's fair.

I´d like to hear this joke badly

Maybe it was this one: "A boss is told by the higher ups that he has to let one of the team go to save money. He eventually whittled it down to two candidates who we'll call Jack and Jill. Then he thinks okay, whoever takes the first coffee break tomorrow is the one I fire. But neither takes a coffee break. Well okay, I'll fire the one who leaves early. But they both work overtime. Jill is the last to leave, and on the way out the boss tells her, Jill, I'm gonna be square with you - I can't decide whether to lay you or Jack off. She laughs and says "you're going to have to jack off because I've got a bus to catch".

I get so much more done at home. No one doing random drop by's interrupting train of thought

Those who says this mostly are inferring from themselves to others. At least in my business (SCRUM software development) no one cares where the devs sit.

It would have been b****y even if he hadn't misspelled his own name. T and r are right next to each other, it would have been a simple typo, get over yourself.