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Here at Bored Panda, we have had plenty of posts about the hilarious hardships of being a parent, and we did a solid amount of parenting tips to go with that. And it doesn't matter how many more we will do, these heartily funny tweets about raising four daughters could never be outdone.
Indianapolis based blogger James Breakwell is considered by some to be the funniest dad on Twitter. His secret? He just tweets his daily conversations with his four smart kids, all under the age of six, on his twitter XplodingUnicorn. The account has over 300 thousand followers, and the four daddy's girls sure love the attention:
“They like what I do on Twitter mainly because it’s all about them,” Breakwell said. “On one hand, Twitter makes me a better father because I spend more time with my adorably funny kids. On the other hand, Twitter makes me a much worse father because I only do it to get more material.”
Follow the link if you want to see more of the best tweets that parents can relate to!
More info: explodingunicorn.com | jamesbreakwell.com | Facebook | Twitter (h/t: halloftweets)
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Ian Taggart 6 years ago
This shows that the little kids are already grown up and ready to be authors like me.
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Jenni Mort 9 years ago
C'mon no-one would believe that - when do men EVER read instructions?! ????????
George A Pope 8 years ago
Doesn't count as reading instructions, if he's only the mom's agent in that respect.
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StevieSerenity 9 years ago
I think his 5 year old is starting early with the teenage attitude.
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reclameshit20152016 9 years ago
I suspect many of these comments are NOT made by children. But nice idea.
George A Pope 8 years ago
This is obviously the Kylo Ren fan! Scary! How do you ever sleep, dude?!
Tamara Keegan 9 years ago
Your 5-year-old is brutal. Hilarious, but brutal. I REALLY hope you continue these as they get older because I can only imagine the things she's going to put you through as she hits her teens. :P
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Ajay Sharma 9 years ago
You are the tweet version of Paranormal Activity.. U r Para-ent Activity ;)
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KarolinaZimińska 9 years ago
And keep in mind how the little baby's poo looks like in color :D
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Tamara Keegan 9 years ago
Ahhh, so now we see your 5-year-old daughter takes after your father. Blame him!
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Kalikima 9 years ago
If more 5 yr olds were like her, I might have considered the chastity belt with a key, but sadly I was short sighted. I guess I'm just stuck with the husband who acts like a witty, brilliant 5 yr old. They sound like a fun handful. Cherish every moment, because the days are so long, and the years so short.
AlbinoSquirrel 9 years ago
Ahahaha! So sweet!! One thing though: not to hate, because I'm not, I like it, but why is he ExplodingUnicorn...?
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Kylie Jane Dixon 9 years ago
Once when I was little I was at the playground, I had a stick in my belt loop, some other dad smiles and asks "Are you a prince?" I stare disbelievingly then say "No, I'm a Jedi" then continued climbing the slide.
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JillPenney 9 years ago
The picture is funny. Are you really that upset that a kid is eating cheetos, that you had to take the fun out of the post with your hippy comment? It's probably not the only thing she eats. Go feed your kids beans and be negative somewhere else.
sebaschan 9 years ago
that's cold, he's probably saying that he does the same thing. that was rude.
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IreneNagle 9 years ago
Regina Drake, I'm gonna assume you're perfect and have never eaten anything unhealthy in your life. Am I right??
Dakota Zayat 9 years ago
ReginaDrake sad to see YOU taking the fun out of a tweet purely for humor. as JillPenney said, go be negative somewhere else
Cindy Rodriguez 4 years ago
So sweet! I have a pic of my son, asleep with Cheetos bag💜 Love them more because tomorrow is not promised, my son passed away @ four years old due brain cancer
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JillVilleChildCare 9 years ago
We used the flattened squirrels to teach a life lesson about holding hands when the kids were really young. That squirrel is flat on the road because it didn't hold it's mommy's hand. Worked like a charm! lol
StaffanLaring 9 years ago
I did the same thing with a dead fox. Felt like the smartest dad in the World until afterwards when I realized i had no idea how to get rid of a dead fox...
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Nora Miller 8 years ago
Whenever i told my daughter I didn't have enough money she would tell me to just use my ATM card. She didn't quite understand I had to have the money in the bank in order to take it out. lol
Kay Dickinson 9 years ago
Yep, I said this once, exactly the same word for word, except it was 'write a cheque...'
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Annette Foltmar 9 years ago
My father took 2 rolls of film (many years ago!) with me, my husband and just 3 boys and got only one piture, we could use for the cover of my book, fortunately that piture was perfect. Good thing you can't see it took a couple of hours to get them all together without fighting or fretting.
Heather Mullen 4 years ago
I have 4 daughters. The eldest was 22 and the youngest was 16 before I managed to get more than one decent photo.
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Maureen Mower 9 years ago
Actually, first they have "fun"... and about 9 months later, they have the baby. ;)
Cheryl Harless 9 years ago
...and how do you think Grown-ups have babies. I assure you, it was fun!
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Veronica Hufana 9 years ago
*ahem*...HAHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAAAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!! *oh* #UsCathoholics
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Eniola 9 years ago
He's saying that since he gave the dinosaur such a tiny attribute that he MUST like her.
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Nikki Murphy 9 years ago
Mine are. I wish I shared half the s**t they've said.
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Carmen 9 years ago
No AniaH, she's in there. Refer to post #26 above... :-p
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Veronica Hufana 9 years ago
I got scared/tricked -no, *conditioned*- into brushing my teeth by seeing grandma pulling out her dentures. 4-year old me thought, "Forget the tooth fairy, I'm keeping 'em all! She's bad, she steals your smile for money & makes your face cave in!"
Kylie Jane Dixon 9 years ago
His girls are bloody brilliant. I wish I babysat them or something.
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Airdnas Elisab 9 years ago
LMAO!!! Yeah, Dad, you're raising yourself. You're doing a great job, though.
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Ian Taggart 6 years ago
I'm gonna be an author. A profitable job that doesn't need much qualification. Like a president.
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AngelPeterson 9 years ago
The door frame covering the fridge door is bugging me more than it should. Can't figure that out.
KaylaBailey 9 years ago
I don't think it is...I think the curve of the edge of the fridge is messing with us =P
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Sasha Bharti 9 years ago
Brilliant at the moment me and boyfriend just leave passive aggressive notes around the house! Haha
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StarKitten 8 years ago
that's what happens every time me, my kitten siblings, and mama cat secretly use the humans' PS4 at night. And btw windows and working doors are not that impressive. Even the houses mama cat makes have those.
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DebbieJones 9 years ago
That sounds like something I might have said when I was their age. Odd how I had five daughters who are nothing like me at that age.
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Ponyo Champion 9 years ago
My uncle is Canadian and so is my aunt. Don't judge people by their nationality
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DariaB 9 years ago
Oh, but in Croatia we actually call them "nose poop". The non liquid ones usually.
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Avery The Fangirl 1 year ago
this happened to my mom. she learned how to ride a bike but my grandpa didn't teach her how to brake and she ended up in a bush
Carol Taylor 9 years ago
oh stop, please....you are making my tits wobble ever so badly...chuckles...
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Keira Way 9 years ago
Reminded me of Murdoc Niccals from Gorillaz and his Winnebago.
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Veronica Hufana 9 years ago
Never too early to teach them the value of a dollar. *These are awesome!
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What do you think ?
TinyDynamine 9 years ago
Decent jokes but highly unlikely that they were actual conversations with little kids.
Jordan Ashlee Drzinski 9 years ago
I've had very similar conversations with kids, I'm a nanny, sorry kids in you're life aren't as clever as his children. :)
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JoyceBovee 9 years ago
best laugh of the day my son is 56 i remember one conversation he's about 2 or so mike please sweep the leaves in front of the door i hear swishing open the door walk into pile of leaves mike what's this? i swept the leaves in front of the door
Bruno Donnángelo 9 years ago
This are jokes, most of them old. You people do realize this isn't real right? *reads the comments* No, you do not........
Prima Jane Cadatal 8 years ago
can't complain, they tell us the biggest and unexpected jokes at unexpected times
Cassandra Misale 9 years ago
"I only spend more time with them to get more material"? Really? That proves parenting is fun? More the opposite is what that statement really makes. And it's proven in studies parents don't think children make them any more happier. This is anonymous studies of course. It's in Time Magazines special issue on happiness. Available now. But if these people were identified they'd get ripped to shreds by the families of the Facebook Happy Family Club. It's sad that people can't share in real life how difficult it is because somehow it becomes skewed into they don't love their kids. Which is not what they're saying.
TinyDynamine 9 years ago
Decent jokes but highly unlikely that they were actual conversations with little kids.
Jordan Ashlee Drzinski 9 years ago
I've had very similar conversations with kids, I'm a nanny, sorry kids in you're life aren't as clever as his children. :)
Load More Replies... JoyceBovee 9 years ago
best laugh of the day my son is 56 i remember one conversation he's about 2 or so mike please sweep the leaves in front of the door i hear swishing open the door walk into pile of leaves mike what's this? i swept the leaves in front of the door
Bruno Donnángelo 9 years ago
This are jokes, most of them old. You people do realize this isn't real right? *reads the comments* No, you do not........
Prima Jane Cadatal 8 years ago
can't complain, they tell us the biggest and unexpected jokes at unexpected times
Cassandra Misale 9 years ago
"I only spend more time with them to get more material"? Really? That proves parenting is fun? More the opposite is what that statement really makes. And it's proven in studies parents don't think children make them any more happier. This is anonymous studies of course. It's in Time Magazines special issue on happiness. Available now. But if these people were identified they'd get ripped to shreds by the families of the Facebook Happy Family Club. It's sad that people can't share in real life how difficult it is because somehow it becomes skewed into they don't love their kids. Which is not what they're saying.
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