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While boomers enjoy their well-deserved (cough, eyeroll, cough) retirement in 200 square meter houses with pools and stuff—after all, they are the ones taking advantage of the current housing market boom—millennials are trying to maintain their office job that’s barely leading anywhere. Definitely not to homeownership, since home values in the US soared by 31.2% in two years, making that already distant dream basically impossible. And when Adidas says impossible is nothing, let me tell you, some things really are.

So let’s get back to that office job that gives you barely enough money for your daily fix of bio avocados (you gotta get those healthy fats!), Sunday hangover food, nice skin moisturizer, and Amazon prime account. If it keeps you awake at night, you are not alone. Corporate Millennial Anxiety is a real thing, and the sooner it's recognized, the sooner we will be able to help our lost souls.

Thankfully, there’s a safe space to talk about hard millennial things, aka work, shifts, overtime, balance, payroll, career (who even invented that word!), job stress-induced weight gain and dark undereye circles. Welcome to the account of the most painfully accurately and brutally funny corporate millennial memes which goes by the same name as the diagnosis of my fellow generation—“Corporate Millennial Anxiety.”

#1

Funny-Corporate-Millennial-Jokes

corporate_millennial_memes Report

ThatOneWriter
Community Member
4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

And ONLY those companies

Nunya Bus
Community Member
4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I know I'm a privileged b*tch for being able to do this, but even when I was unemployed two years ago I would flat out stop the application process if I had to do that. I felt if a company couldn't see the irony of asking potential employees to waste time in redundancy then I didn't want to work for them anyway.

SeidWolf
Community Member
4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

THIS! Here's a fun fact, part of a negotiation tactic is establishing a trend of agreement, starting with the very simple common points and working your way to bigger or more contentious points. Each time you agree, you invest yourself, and are less likely to back away from your prior decision or change a belief. This is explained as cognitive dissonance and the backfire effect. This is used in HR (whose job is to protect the company, not it's workers) to ensure a "habit of compliance". Each time you agree to a repetitive or illogical task, you are more likely to "double down" and keep going - which essentially conditions you to agree with whatever dumbf***ery they throw at you. Jumping through hoops, repeating the same tasks, duplicating information - these are approaches that work towards your compliance or obedience... AKA surrender. Senior management also applies this to individuals to ensure you know "who's in power".

Troux
Community Member
4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Doctor's offices are so guilty of this. 'Please fill out this medical history questionnaire, then the doctor will see you and ask you some preliminary questions.' This is basically memorizing the answers to prepare for the oral exam.

Rissie
Community Member
4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Also cover letters. As the hiring manager as well as the person applying I never found any use in them. It's either a summary of the CV or a whole lot of pretentious BS that needs guessing if someone is actually like that or just for the process. I will take my chances with looking at your resumé and if it looks suitable to have a phone call or face(time) to face(time) interview to actually judge that.

Robert Thompson
Community Member
4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Apply in person; Go to the website. Apply at the website; apply in person. Can't win.

robin aldrich
Community Member
4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Not a recent process...(evidently) I'm a Boomer and I dealt with that ALOT...very frustrating !!! I got so frustrated I would say on the application "see resume"

Noel Calvert
Community Member
3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

THIS! I did this a million times. Screw wasting my hours looking for work doing redundant tasks that only prove I can surrender my precious time.

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Pat Corbett
Community Member
4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Even worse are the medical practices that have all of your information on file (and update it each visit), yet demand each year that you fill out another entire history form on a sheaf of flimsy paper with one of their pens that only writes half the time.

Upstaged75
Community Member
4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

WHY do they do that? It makes me want to scream. If I can get away with it I just type "see resume".

Printerman
Community Member
4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Trust me, this is infuriating for us old farts too.

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    #2

    Funny-Corporate-Millennial-Jokes

    corporate_millennial_memes , twitter.com Report

    Kate Tora
    Community Member
    4 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    ...and one for playing with our pets.

    Carrie Laughs
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I agree. I have always said we should have one day for getting chores done, one for fun and social things and one for chilling and doing nothing.

    Julie C Rose
    Community Member
    4 years ago (edited)

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    The thing is, who's "we"? Most people who talk about this don't mention the inequality that already exists in how many hours people have to work in order to survive, let alone thrive. And when no one's talking about that, I feel like even if the door to three-day weekends was opened, those who make comfortable money on 40 hours a week would walk through it and only a few would look back while that door closed in my face. (And those who talk about 3-day weekends while working more than 40 hours a week themselves need to speak up about this issue a lot more or they'll be in for a big disappointment.)

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    Lys Chen
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    We DO have a Victorian wasting disease..sadly..

    vogonpoet
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    As a millennial I got a job that gives me that three day weekend.

    Vicky Z
    Community Member
    4 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    We do have a Victorian wasting virus so one more reason for longer weekends

    ftworthxxx
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    And one for your sense of entitlement.

    Nandy Nam
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This is literally MY weekend ... always thinks if I would ever be able to go back to a 5 days work week ... NO THANKS !!

    Kaycee Friend
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This is THE best! I've worked 4 10 hour shifts for the last year and I would not ever want to go back!

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    #3

    Funny-Corporate-Millennial-Jokes

    corporate_millennial_memes Report

    May
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The number of times I've done this....

    Monday
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Gmail reminding me that I have no attachments when the word is present in the email has saved me so many times..

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    WilvanderHeijden
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That's why you first attach the files before sending the mail. Correct order is always 1. Attach files. 2. Write mail. 3. Carefully add recipients so Mr. Smith doesn't accidentally get a draft for his resignation letter.

    BereniceLooM
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The only trick that has saved me: doing everything upside down: #1 Attach the files #2 Sign #3 Compose the email #4 Write the subject #5 Write the hidden recipients #6 Write the main recipients and send it.

    DCB
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Thank goodness the newer email apps have reminders for this...if there is the word "attachment" in your email, for instance, it will ask you now "did you mean to attach a file?". Has already saved me from embarrassment a few times.

    Kathryn Baylis
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    We used to call that “Attachment Disorder”.

    Megan Beecher
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Headline of email #2: "Resending: this time with file"

    Lara Kristelle
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I've done this at a monthly blast twice xD

    Heather Atwood
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Gmail will nudge you if you have used the word attachment or attached etc and then don't attach a doc before it's sent. Very helpful!!

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    Bored Panda reached out to Alane Rebecca, the creator behind the Corporate Millennial Anxiety memes account, to find out more about the project. Alane describes herself as a “quintessential 90's nostalgia-loving millennial who continues to grasp at every last bit of my youth.” She added that she treats her dogs like kids and still quotes Mean Girls daily.

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     “I posted my very first meme on the Corporate Millennial Anxiety account on December 14th, 2020. The account was born out of a text conversation with one of my favorite coworkers. We were both adapting to working from home, to cope she and I would send each other funny work-related Tik Toks and memes,” the creator recounted.

    She continued: “One day she jokingly texted, ‘You should start a viral Instagram account’, to which I responded ‘Say less’. I created the account, began posting and it blew up. The account grew at a shocking rate and I had 10K followers within 2 weeks.” 

    #4

    Funny-Corporate-Millennial-Jokes

    corporate_millennial_memes , twitter.com Report

    Ryan Deschanel
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    And if not everyone does it, the votes will remain 100% anonymous so there is no peer pressure. Great idea.

    Henry Russell
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    i agree so many times i want a call to end but the host doesnt need to press it and it would say your connection is unstable than when your out it will say you disconnected

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    Vicky Z
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Press the button if you think this meeting should be an email!

    Hermione
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The button would be pressed during 99% of meetings.

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    Brendan Hills
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    OK - I submitted it as a feature request for Google Meet

    MusicalCatTroll
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    …but I have online classes there 🤣

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    Tim
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Except that the organizer doesn't get the button, only everyone else.

    Sarah Schumm
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My company has a policy that if you aren’t contributing or getting something out of a meeting you should leave. No explanation necessary, just leave. It should be a more common policy.

    Hermione
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I love this! Do they have better attendance?

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    boredhuman
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Me 1 second into the meeting: PRESS BUTTON

    Maurettis
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    99% of the time, is wasted effort

    Kevin Donegan
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Meetings should rarely go past 45 to 60 minutes. The important issues have been raised within that time frame and so what you're left with are minor issues that can be delegated to to group members and not waste the time of the entire group.

    Bananic
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Google meet, zoom, etc should adopt this

    Hermione
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    They have. It's called; turn sound and camera off.

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    Thomas Turnbull
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    At the end of a very long meeting and then then the on in charge asks any more questions you just know some idiot will stick their hand up and ask a question that will take ages to answer a dylu just want to leave.

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    #5

    Funny-Corporate-Millennial-Jokes

    corporate_millennial_memes Report

    Vicky Z
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My life is full of quick tasks that will eventually kill me from the stress of not doing them

    Dead Rat
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    You and probably the rest of the adult population....

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    Nunya Bus
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Why do you think I am reading BoredPanda?

    Yoga Kitty
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    ...the 30 second call to the doctor to arrange an appointment that I need at least two weeks of build up before...

    Kim Steffen
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I've always wanted to procrastinate, but I never seem to get around to it.

    Robert Thompson
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I am literally procrastinating 4 min (ish) of work right now 🤣

    BookCrazyTeen
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The other day I finally presented my school presentation that took about 3 minutes. I spent 2 weeks having anxiety over it.

    Henry Russell
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    amazing achievement it takes me 7 i have dreamed of six but never made it

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    #6

    Funny-Corporate-Millennial-Jokes

    corporate_millennial_memes Report

    James016
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Given the amount of scam calls these days, I do this as well. I take the view that if it's important then they can leave a voicemail

    ZAPanda
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I go one step further: my voice mail says I don't take voicemails, send me a text. If they can't do that, they obviously do not really need me.

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    Kevin Donegan
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I stopped answering "unknown" numbers years ago. If it's important, they'll leave a message.

    Palo Sulek
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Thom Yorke checking the playlist of a radio station

    Ladyvischuss
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Sometimes when I want to screw around I'll pick it up. The auto warranty guy told me that my cars warranty was expired, I asked him for which car? Silence then a click. Guy said he was from Apple and something was wrong with my computer. I told him that I didn't have a computer, cell phone or tv because those things are all portals to the devil. Or for real shits n grins I just answer it and in my best old lady voice I just keep saying "Steven, is that you? Why don't you call grandma more often?" I really had a guy try to explain to me that he wasn't Steven while giving me his sales pitch. Very hard to not snicker. Someone would call and ask for the woman who had the phone number before me. I'd say that I haven't heard from her either, what do you suppose happens? Hey, everyone needs a hobby.

    Vicky Z
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That's cause 99%of the cases is scam calls! Personally i communicate with texts with friends and family and with emails for professional purposes so noone important really calls me

    Pat Bond
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Get these calls everyday, unfortunately I have to answer them, it really could be a new customer. When I get the idiot who thinks my internet connection is sending out alot of packets, that's when the fun begins, usually end the call being call a bhenchod for wasting their time. As long as their on the phone to me they can't scam anyone else in those few minutes. Block the number straight after.

    robin aldrich
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Me, too! Except it's hard to find out any information on the number unless you want to pay money...and I'm not gonna DO THAT!!!

    Thomas Turnbull
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I do this and usually find it’s a scam call

    Bad Alchemy
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I love the call screener on my phone and use it without hesitation.

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    Alane said that at that point in time a lot of millennials hadn't joined Tik Tok yet, “so I think my reposting of millennial and work-related Tik Toks to a social media platform that millennials were already engaged on created something novel within that demographic,” she explained.

    When selecting the post to share, Alane said she always looks for content that makes her say "It's me". “If it resonates with me, it will most likely resonate with my follower base.”

    #7

    Funny-Corporate-Millennial-Jokes

    corporate_millennial_memes Report

    Pius Xulu
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Honesty is the best policy.

    Vicky Z
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Growing up doesn't make it any better my friend

    SeidWolf
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    it doesn't get better - the more you learn the more confounding life seems

    Analyn Lahr
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That's honestly how I feel about Marvel.

    zoponex
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This is why I love children, autistic people and animals; they just tell the truth.

    Nicky
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    A kindergartener student asked me how old I was. I replied, "How old do you think I am?" The student thought about it a long time, and replied, "12?"

    Hermione
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This child is destined to become a great philosopher.

    Kevin Donegan
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    What an introspective young person ...

    #8

    Funny-Corporate-Millennial-Jokes

    corporate_millennial_memes , twitter.com Report

    ElenaK
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This one strikes a cord. I dream of leaving it all for a simple job and going back to my island, but I still fell that subconcious pressure for achievements and carreer. Like we are worth as much as our job which is soooo wrong! Damn you capitalism!

    zoponex
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Leave the job; the feeling of pressure disappears and you suddenly see how wrong you were.

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    Cecily Holland
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I thought being a Paramedic was until antivaxer morons came along and ruined it. Transporting these Nits to hospital with an 87% blood oxygen and still they argue COVID’s existence and babble on about crap. Only way to get peace is to intubate the idiots.

    Vicky Z
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Don't create new conspiracies! They will now say that you intubate them to shut them up! I wouldn't blame you though if you did

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    Kevin Donegan
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It took me about 25 years of employment to realize ... my employer is not my friend; they do not have my best interests at heart. Put yourself first ... stop working nights and weekends, be more efficient during your work schedule so less time is needed outside of work hours, set boundaries. If your employer pushes back, find a new job.

    zoponex
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    And, regardless of what your boss keeps saying, your company is NOT a family.

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    Mewton’s Third Paw
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That’s not the fault of capitalism, that’s your own fault for not knowing the difference between “things” and “stuff I have to do to get things.”

    MyOpinionHasBeenServed
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Gotta love the "What is your dream job?" My dream job is not having to have a job.

    Tracy Wallick
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    In fairness, I *do* have a dream job! I want to be a psychologist, because helping people is my passion, and not merely how I want to make enough money to support myself.

    Joanna Werman
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That's cool but how many of your patients are wrapped up in their work?

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    John Meise
    Community Member
    4 years ago

    This comment has been deleted.

    Om
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    tbh it never was mine. I remember stressing so much as a kid whenever anyone asked me "what do you want to be when you grow up?" and everyone was like "a teacher, a doctor" etc and I was just there thinking I didn't even want to have a job at all. I went to college just because I knew "I had to" if I wanted a "nice life" but to this day I have struggled to find a job that I love and even if I did, it's like, I just can't separate the fact that if I'm gonna do something is because I need to get paid for it, no matter how much I love it. Like even if they started paying me for my hobbies, the moment I start depending on it, it stops being a hobby to become my job.

    Brendan McCarthy
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Everyone go watch Tangled. Flynn Ryder's dream is being on his own island surrounded by piles of money... Never understood the point of the piles of money since you can't spend it, but the point is your job is just a means to an end and everyone needs to ask whether they have the best job to help get themselves there!

    Stan Brooks
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I absolutely agree. All these articles on how to be more productive at work and how to advance your career make me want to vomit. I never really aspired to be a good slave.

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    #9

    Funny-Corporate-Millennial-Jokes

    corporate_millennial_memes Report

    Pius Xulu
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Jesus Christ! Glory right there 😂

    Immortal Emperor Paradox
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Sex isn't great, it's a SCAM! All that hype we see around the world everywhere, and when the moment arrives, it's over in 5-10mins.

    Josy Bannon
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I always do a little happy dance when that happens

    King Joffrey
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Haha this happened to me only this week...

    Omi bub
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The pinnacle is when this is your annual appraisal

    September Meadows
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That's the money shot, that there is 😉

    Robert Thompson
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    90% of the stuff I worry about never happens. Lesson: Worrying works!

    MyOpinionHasBeenServed
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    No but I've had shifts cancelled last minute on days I didn't have the mental capacity to endure working.

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    According to the author of the Corporate Millennial Anxiety Instagram account, even though the world was in the midst of a pandemic, the expectations of corporate employees remained the same. “I think we were all just stuck working from home with a lot of time and not a lot of work-life balance. I think everyone's mental health took a massive toll throughout 2020. I think my light-hearted, but sarcastic humor resonated with many millennials working in corporate America.”

    But “sharing relatable content about feeling anxious or struggling with the dreaded "imposter syndrome", made people feel less alone throughout the ups and downs of the pandemic,” Alane explained.

    #10

    Funny-Corporate-Millennial-Jokes

    corporate_millennial_memes , twitter.com Report

    Vicky Z
    Community Member
    4 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    And the evening before the weekend is always the best part, thinking you have two days ahead

    Henry Russell
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    those days are amazing i love that you just relax knowing that you have a free day the next two days

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    Eva Verde
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My boyfriend works in a system where he works 12 hour days but he has 7 days off in 14 day period, which gives him 3 and 4 days off in a rów. He loves it. I want that!

    Chris Jones
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I've worked in a 9 day fortnight. 9 to 6 every day and then every other weekend is three days. That's pretty great as well.

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    Smeez geez
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yes and yes! Sunday’s are my day to lurk around depressed that a 5 day work week approaches .. the 2:5 ratio designed by the wealthy

    Suz66
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    You spend one weekend day doing all the things that you do have time for during the week Laundry and groceries, paying bills, etc

    Monic Krugell
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    guaranteed depression every Sunday after lunch

    Bayla
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I believe in 3-day weekend supremacy

    tirebiter
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    What comes after two days of rain? ... Monday.

    MyOpinionHasBeenServed
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Once the shift ends Friday, that's it. That job doesn't exist until Monday morning.

    Robin DJW
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Sunday was always my least favorite day of the week. I had to do the laundry, shop and plan out the week's work (job and domestic). Any time I had left over was spent trying to shove down that anxiety.

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    #11

    Funny-Corporate-Millennial-Jokes

    corporate_millennial_memes Report

    James016
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Someone has perfected their "This is all BS" face

    SeidWolf
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I've been asked not to attend "town hall" meetings since I tend to raise questions which are uncomfortable and "career limiting"

    Erika
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This sounds like you really need to be at town hall meetings for everyone else's sake, though not yours.

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    Katherine Boag
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Neurotypicals: you can read people's feelings on their faces, this is a useful tool. Also neurotypicals: we dont like your feelings here is a paper bag for your face

    Nunya Bus
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    One time I was at a swearing in for a political office and I have unfortunately been to more than a few but they are all pretty standard. This one was so extra that I didn't realize I wasn't trying to hide my WTF face. Later someone I kind of knew through the circuit sidled up to me laughing and said she felt about the ceremony the same way I did. I was so confused like how could she know she felt the same as me? Turns out my face said it all. WHOOPS!

    Kevin Donegan
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Instead of disparaging the employee, why not ask them what they're thinking. It's common to stay "muted" just to get rid of background noise. If you see someone reacting through facial expressions, just simply say, "John, do you have anything you want to add?" Or, make a decision to ignore their facial expressions.

    Rissie
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "How about you take a hint from my facial expressions and don't make me turn on the mic and be vocal about it too. Thank you."

    Jasmine Pavlich
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Haha I’ve been that person but instead of asking to turn my cam off he asked what were the thoughts behind the facial expression

    Marcellus II
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    And how do you read these expressions faultlessly from a 30x20 pix image??

    Ira Sentesy
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "It's great that we can't hear you, but could we also not see you?"

    Sawdust
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Is there such a thing as Resting Eye-Roll Face? :-)

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    #12

    Funny-Corporate-Millennial-Jokes

    corporate_millennial_memes Report

    Carrie Laughs
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Worked for an organisation that did field trips for staff. Got to see a few weird things. Dagenham car manufacturers was one! Was actually really interesting,

    Mascha Claessens
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    As a highschool teacher, I was waaay more exited for the field trip than my students. I was literally too exited to sleep. :P

    Katherine Boag
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Loved them as a kid, still love them.

    Kevin Donegan
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    There's a difference in spending 8 hours inside a room staring at a black/white board versus actively engaging in your environment through field trips, touching, seeing new things. I'd always take going on field trips four days a week and sitting in a classroom one day a week any time. Sadly, our education system does the opposite.

    Archair
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Work field trips need to exist

    Tami
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Adult field trips are trade shows and customer visits.

    Pat Corbett
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That's why I love having grandsons to take to places I've never been and to places I loved as a child and almost forgot about til they came along.

    Monday
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I wouldn't mind going to milk a cow during work hours....

    Carrie Laughs
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Ah, but cows might not want to fit in with that. First milk of the day was about 4:30am.

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    Thomas Turnbull
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I had a job one were every Friday I took the kids out on a discovery walk.

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    After having seen so many millennial memes and jokes, Alane believes that “what stands out the most about my generation is that we don't take ourselves too seriously. Many of us have delightfully dark and self-deprecating humor. We aren't afraid to laugh at ourselves when we do something stupid.”

    Moreover, “I know millennials have a reputation for being too soft, but I strongly disagree with that idea. I think we are a compassionate and resilient generation that is not afraid to ask for help or make a bold decision like leaving a steady job because it's toxic,” she concluded.

    #13

    Funny-Corporate-Millennial-Jokes

    corporate_millennial_memes , twitter.com Report

    Adam C
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    And it's not like , If you work faster you get to go home earlier.

    Chucky Cheezburger
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The only reward for working efficiently is more work.

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    Orange is aging
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    People should be allowed to stop working after a certain amount of work gets done, not after a certain time!

    Mona
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Try working in a Pharmacy. Work is never ending and fast paced.

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    MyOpinionHasBeenServed
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    whenever I hear "fast paced work environment" I can't help but imagine all the employees scrambling, papers flying around, secretaries maximizing their 150 wpm typing skills, and everyone sweating, close to tears in a constant state of panic and anxiety.

    Kevin Donegan
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    A busy work day makes the work day go by faster. You just have to know when to end and not take it home with you.

    Bananic
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I kinda like fast-paced work place long as its well acknowledged and compensated

    ftworthxxx
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Translation: The world owes me a living.

    Angeline Shalyn
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My job is super fast paced so I'm glad I only work 5 hours a day lol!

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    #14

    Funny-Corporate-Millennial-Jokes

    corporate_millennial_memes , twitter.com Report

    jUst MEat
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Actually, I have 3 terabytes of files like that. No kidding. I am a photography enthusiast and obsessive compulsive collector of images... LOL

    Katherine Boag
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I misread 'photography' as something else, so sorry

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    ƒιѕн
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    6606499f1e5c84d7c30.png already exists. Do you want to replace it?

    Tim
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Sigh. *goes through 3 step process to tell Windows to keep both files*

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    Zedrapazia
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    And then you forget what it was

    Julia Why
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Why the hell would you do that? Save it as 6606499f1e5c84d7c30.jpg

    Sue Phillips
    Community Member
    Premium
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    ...and when you try to save something with the same name, just put a 2 at the end.

    Bruce Robb
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Except they do it without asking.

    Nicole Tomme
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I am ashamed at how guilty I am of this. And God forbid you need to find one specific image. Been there, too.

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    #15

    Funny-Corporate-Millennial-Jokes

    corporate_millennial_memes Report

    Rijkærd
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I need to learn some programming s**t to make this happen.

    RharahYEY
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I know programming, so im gonna make this happen

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    Monic Krugell
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Is it bad that a specific person popped into my head?

    Chewie Baron
    Community Member
    Premium
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Nope, it's been ten seconds since I read this, and I already have a small volume of names available.

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    Paul C.
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Like most of the bosses I've ever had.

    LJ Harwood
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This is one of the best ideas EVER. Thank you.

    Rissie
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Oh my, wouldn't that be awesome...

    Vito Ananìa
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Thank goodness I'm not good enough to have impostor syndrome

    robin aldrich
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Microsoft ...Apple ...are you seeing this one????

    ftworthxxx
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    An app where I can transfer my imposter syndrome to people who shouldn't have jobs because of their sense of entitlement.

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    #16

    Funny-Corporate-Millennial-Jokes

    corporate_millennial_memes Report

    Shelli Aderman
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Wait till you get to your 50s! 🤣

    Jess Thompson
    Community Member
    4 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    6pm 🙋🏽‍♀️ After waking up from my 4pm nap.

    Janice Strickland
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm in bed at 7 to be up at 3am for work

    Nicky
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    In your 40s you know it's fine. In your 50s you wonder if 7:30 is too early to go to bed. In your 60s you think it's fine.

    Inclusion 2020
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yes. Contemplating whether it's healthy to choose staying home with your dog over hanging out with friends for the 5th time in a row haha.

    Blackheart
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Hell, going back to bed at 8 a.m. is not too early

    Kathryn Baylis
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It’s not really going to bed if you get in your jammies, get all comfy in bed, and watch TV or surf the net instead of sleep.

    MyOpinionHasBeenServed
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It is never too early. Sleep is wonderful. Sleep is grand. Go to bed right after work if you like. Sleep is underrated. Staying up late is overrated in terms of fun. It's not nearly as exciting and adventurous as I thought when I was a kid.

    Pungent Sauce
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I have, but the problem is waking up at 3am. I’m not ready to be my grandparents yet.

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    #17

    Funny-Corporate-Millennial-Jokes

    corporate_millennial_memes , twitter.com Report

    May
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    American work culture seems insane

    Kevin Beard
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Work: "Our engagement survey shows we all want a good home/work balance." Me working from home: "I did some dishes on my 15 minute break, and did laundry at lunch, now I can spend that time with my family after work instead of doing household chores." Work: "How dare you! Time for everyone to come back to the building and stop this nonsense."

    Joann Casey
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    What I find most shocking about US work culture is people not taking their vacation leave and they get so little of it in the first place. It seems like people with office jobs are afraid their job will be given away if they take time off.

    Chris Cucinella
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I worked for a big company that made a big deal of putting in a "wellness room" for employees to relax. But then they didn't put any furniture in it. Just a empty room with "wellness room" on the door. Empty like their employees souls are after working there.

    Carrie Laughs
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    What a waste. Lie on the floor just to make the point!

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    Inclusion 2020
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My students and I were looking for an article to use for informative essay writing. Came across one that said teachers work an average of 400 hours of OT per year. Idk how accurate that is, but I work an average of 20 extra hours a week give or take.

    Caitlin Fairchild
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I feel blessed to work for a company that ACTUALLY endorses this and sticks by it... but I'll be damned if my anxiety doesn't freak out if I'm even in the bathroom for more than 5 min at work

    Ari Trionfo
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My boss walks out on me sitting on the floor in the hall at least once a week; he never tells me to get back to work, and because of that he knows he can expect me back in less than 5 minutes. Sometimes I just need a minute to breathe

    Stan Brooks
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Employee smiles, raises the middle finger, and exits.

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    #18

    Funny-Corporate-Millennial-Jokes

    corporate_millennial_memes , twitter.com Report

    Bananic
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I think its more like the one person presenting/talking everything and the rest. Im the rest.

    𝖊𝖆
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I actually went on camera the other day for a meeting, which is a lot for me. And the presenter goes “oh hi Eleanor, nice of you to join us from home in your comfy clothes” all cheery. And I mortifyingly admitted I was actually wearing my smart clothes and was in the office :( queue awkward silence and me going off camera again.

    Chris Jones
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Ah, like me you need to learn to say little bar the essentials and smile enigmatically. People will think you are intriguing (oh to be intriguing!) and you'll also have less in your head to cringe over. I'm working on it...!!!

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    catslave6
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I had to attend zoom meetings earlier this year. I muted the mic and pointed the camera at a plant overhead. I liked being a potted plant. ;>)

    Daria B
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Nah.... I don't like working for THAT long.... u.u

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    55Toys
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    when your boss asks you for your opinion

    Natasha
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I’m the coworker totally 😂

    Thomas Turnbull
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Why wear a mask on a phone meeting

    Fxnglhl
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    yet i never talk because i fear that someone can actually hear me.

    Brandy Grote
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Why do I "look like a snowman"? Because I ACTUALLY look like a snowman, sigh.

    kat lia
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The only time that i put on the mic is to say my name for the meeting attendance.

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    #19

    Funny-Corporate-Millennial-Jokes

    corporate_millennial_memes Report

    James016
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yep, I tried on my work trousers last month, out of curiosity, oh boy....

    Raven Sheridan
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Try wearing a bra for the first time in months! Like wearing a straight jacket!

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    panda123
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm sick and tired of wearing the pajamas and sweatpants that I associate with feelings of quarantine ennui

    Donna Leske
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yep, I've been wearing bedroom slipper for almost two years; my feet have spread sideways. Do they make a XXXXL width in ladies shoes?

    Ally Joy
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I don't ever want to go back into the office. Make the office shelter for the homeless!

    Eagle Girl
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    To the ladies... now we all than DVF for the wrap dress. Will forgive you at least one size up & somehow still manages to make you look, and kinda feel, civilized.

    June
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Return to the office was tough. So I decided to buy black sweatpants aka "office pyjama" and that's it. I'm a bit less angry now.

    Barbara L Bristow
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I lost 40 lbs in 2019 & was back in my "thinner" jeans....woo hoo !!! It's now almost 2022 & those same jeans go on but won't zip.

    Dre Mosley
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Gained the “Covid 15,” eh?

    GoddessOdd
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Experts recommend you readjust to wearing hard pants by wearing them for only a few hours at first.

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    #20

    Funny-Corporate-Millennial-Jokes

    corporate_millennial_memes Report

    Raven Sheridan
    Community Member
    4 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The struggle to walk that fine line, is real.

    Poyda
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Naw, just push it over the edge n watch it crash n burn...as soon as you think they might be considering you for that position, pull out a terrible joke....aaaand your back to square one n safe again 😆

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    DonS
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I was sent to HR once for the puns I put on the whiteboard... Only because the HR guy was a pun-enthusiast and my co-workers wanted to know who makes the best ones. Best HR meeting ever.

    Solaris Ellipses
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I work in HR and this is a struggle for me, too. So many ways to potentially offend people. Yay.

    Vicky Z
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I feel exposed! I think that even if i say "f**k you all i quit" everyone will just laugh at this point!

    ftworthxxx
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    So you think work is Comedy Central?

    Mtownmick
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The court jester never gets to be on the high council but they get to tell truth to power. Fine line. BTW doesn't pay as well.

    Verena Abt
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I got sent to HR for wearing a sombrero in uniform, and this is not uniform standards.

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    #21

    Funny-Corporate-Millennial-Jokes

    corporate_millennial_memes Report

    Csaba Jozsa
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    whats my cat doin in your bed??

    Shelli Aderman
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Totally FUN! I do not see a problem here…

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    #22

    Funny-Corporate-Millennial-Jokes

    corporate_millennial_memes Report

    Susie Elle
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Oh and be determined but not so determined that you actually know what you want because that might scare your colleagues (m/f)

    ToGo
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    And god help you if you crack a joke or say something intelligent only for it to be ignored (by both sexes) and repeated by a guy who gets masses of credit for it. In. The. Same. Meeting.

    Kevin Donegan
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Here's always the concerning comment ... when you hear this, push back ... when someone describes a female employee as "aggressive" and the male employees are "assertive."

    Mere Cat
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    And less formally, the word for aggressive is b*tchy.. :(

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    Vicky Z
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Career advice for women: be however the hell you like and prove your value with your work

    Rissie
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Wear pants on your head and turn up in your sponge bob underwear.

    Gerard Neaux
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    7. Women in management positions are statistically more likely to have masculine traits. 8. If you're assertive instead of nurturing everyone hates you

    SeidWolf
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    contradictions, entrapments, and double-standards abound!!

    Caitlin Fairchild
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Don't be assertive or people will think you're a b*tch. But don't do xyz because people will think you're flirting and/or spineless

    athornedrose
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    you can do anything* * as long as your appearance, words, actions, and attitudes are palatable to men

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    #23

    Funny-Corporate-Millennial-Jokes

    corporate_millennial_memes Report

    Pat Bond
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Sounds like Burn out, not pleasant.

    SeidWolf
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    when your mood becomes a persistent disorder

    EchoTheEnby
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Me when my brief spout of sadness turns into depression

    Mrs S
    Community Member
    Premium
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Hope you would find someone to talk to.

    #24

    Funny-Corporate-Millennial-Jokes

    corporate_millennial_memes , twitter.com Report

    The Coated Dev
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "Hey if that makes you happy, then mission accomplished. Many people think doing outside activities and interacting with other people are what you should be doing in your free time. This is wrong, if you enjoy watching a TV show by yourself do it. Fun is different for everyone." -Some idiot on the internet (Me).

    Eagle Girl
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The true gift of "No worries" is not whether you worry about the instance but reach the place when you realize "Ain't gonna make everyone happy even when you try" and let that garbage go

    matilda
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Or when I answer "Yeah, you?" when asked "You alright?". Such a liar..

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    #25

    Funny-Corporate-Millennial-Jokes

    corporate_millennial_memes Report

    DennyS (denzoren)
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I haven't stopped working....the pandemic didn't even break their stride...we just worked on through it...no work from home, nothing.

    Scott
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I actually changed jobs mid-pandemic, and neither shut down. Granted, the first was a bank, and it's not like they'd let me take the vault contents home and work from there. My new/current job involves extremely hazardous chemicals, so.... kinda the same thing? Little did they know that I'm an aspiring mad scientist. Mwahahahahahahahaha.

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    Peculiar hedgehog
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    As someone who was (fortunate?) enough to get to work through the entire F*****g Pandemic This is very funny

    Cheryl Denton
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Ah. Yes. Directly in the center of the Venn diagram butt crack! The "Vennhole"!

    Lara Verne
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    So true... No wonder so many people caugh covid at work.

    Freddy Jordaan
    Community Member
    4 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I work for a company that make uniforms for healthcare. This has been the busiest 2 years of my life.

    Josy Bannon
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I could work from home but this absolutely doesnt mean I have so much time on my hand and can finally craft that wooden dresser or learn doing stained glass art.

    Debbie Burton
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I have worked the whole time.... not lockdown for me (& I bought cans of paint thinking I would get some done)

    September Meadows
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I was retired before SHTF, on a personal level I cannot say I've been impacted at all negatively, many things go much better. I do feel some guilt that my happiness comes in spite of so many getting sick, shuffling off the mortal coil, and the family and friends who mourn those lost from their lives.

    Solaris Ellipses
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yup. It went from on site work and no option to work remote-EVER-to, ‘we need you to figure out how to be insanely productive so we feel like you’re contributing to the company’s bottom line, even if you aren’t really, but please oh god do not dare to not be overwhelmed and on the verge of a breakdown during a global pandemic. Because that’s not good for company morale. 😑🤯😡😓

    Frank S
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Edited: I had something else written but I’ll just say I’m very confused by a lot of the comments on this one.

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    #26

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    Bananic
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    And crying my eyes out while performing the solution i figured out cuz i panicked

    Rissie
    Community Member
    4 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It's called a true incentive and there's nothing wrong with that. That's why this pandemic stinks, it's really bad, but not anywhere near deadly for the individual unless you're old and don't really give a crap anymore. So don't expect any real solution anytime soon.

    Henry Russell
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    i panic first second thrird fourth and fifth and then i get a snack and go back to panicing

    Monic Krugell
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It is amazing what you actually can achieve if you put yourself under enough pressure

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    #27

    Funny-Corporate-Millennial-Jokes

    corporate_millennial_memes , twitter.com Report

    Sum Guy
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    You people are getting a raise?

    Sandor M
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Raise? I hope we don't have to buy tickets to go to work..

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    Nunya Bus
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Ooooh 3% seems like a lot to me. I got a 1.9% "raise." Or COLA (cost of living) except I'm not sure if any of these places realize that I live in the US and 1.9% COLA is barely enough to get me 5 gallons of gas a week and it takes me twice that to get to work. Hmmmmmm

    Öz Deniz Boro
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    When inflation is 73 percent and you get a 10% raise in your pension money. Guess where I am living.

    Victor
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    And with it you receive an overly-enthusiastic congratulations letter. Damn, now I have to appear grateful and say thanks.

    Susie
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    When you get no raise at all and your company pays short-term vendors the equivalent of what you make in about two months for their 15 cumulative hours of work.

    MyOpinionHasBeenServed
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This is Manitoba, right now, after hearing of Ontario and other provinces giving big boosts to their minimum wages.

    Josurf
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Only 5,6 % inflation? More like 30 - 50% ...

    Bernát Bonda
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    And everything You buy every day costs 15% more...

    Nina
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Be grateful to get anything. Most of us are still on frozen pay.

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    #28

    Funny-Corporate-Millennial-Jokes

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    ThatOneWriter
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Okay this is a dream.

    Nunya Bus
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yeah I was like and what's wrong with this? I can only wish that would be in 10 years

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    Carrie Laughs
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    We used to be in the back where the dogs are, as children, and for some reason it is hilarious when going across bumpy fields as fast as you dare!

    kat lia
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    yup, this is how is see my life in 10 years but instead of dogs, i have a raccoon, a fox, a cat and an owl at the back. And we all live happily ever after

    Robert Thompson
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yup. There will be Lords and Ladies, and us peasants doing the chores of the house.

    Keli Holmes
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Did he set the house on fire n take off with the dogs

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    #29

    Funny-Corporate-Millennial-Jokes

    corporate_millennial_memes Report

    Pat Bond
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Everyone is dispensable but some are more dispensable than others.

    ToGo
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That's another thing jobs make a mistake with. I worked for a company moons ago and one of the first things they said was "everyone here is replaceable" - seriously - needless to say, we all looked for other work (back when it was easier to get!). We knew other people could be trained to do the job but that was down right disrespectful, and very much backfired on them.

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    Kevin Donegan
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Here was my problem, I usually could do the job better than anyone else. I always moved up in management, always submitted reports on time and done perfectly, always created systems to make things consistent across programs ... when I left my employment, three people were hired to do what I did. Everyone is dispensable but some are LESS dispensable than others.

    DogMom
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This is pretty much where I’m at now

    James Arvidson
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Never let them know you care. They will abuse it. Always act disinterested

    Robert Thompson
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    As an employer, I have seen this far to often; and often start by telling them to "slow down", followed some time later by, "keep up"

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    #30

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    Ryan Deschanel
    Community Member
    4 years ago

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    He is technically, legally right.

    WilvanderHeijden
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Not even in Europe where you have the right and it isn't seen as subordination if you take a day off. Employers still have the legal right to deny you vacation days, if they need you at work. I know the case of one woman who requested time off during the busiest 2 weeks of the year. Company denied, she went on vacation anyway, got fired, went to court, was told that she was wrong and the dismissal was legal and final.

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    Beta
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Before I read Ryan deschanels comment I was like “wow Ryan hasn’t commented in a who,e it’s my lucky day” then I saw his comment.😑

    Bob Bobbs
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I get it but it's a bit mean to say that. I may not always agree with him but he doesn't deserve to be talked about like that. The person commenting "kill yourself" & variations on every post on this thread is much worse.

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    Tobias Rieper
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    yeah enjoy the holiday that you made them aware you were taking that they didn't agree would be ok gonna be awfully long one once they fire you

    Ellen Tannenbaum
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    They call is a request because they can deny it.

    Mrs S
    Community Member
    Premium
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I used to do that when I worked in retail. I told them I was going home for the holiday and so unavailable from these dates, usually Dec 20 thru Jan 3. Drove them nuts. Had to quit over it, and was rehired again the following year! Lol!

    Eagle Girl
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Oh man I love this thread. Just Lol'd Again!!

    noketchuponmyfries
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yessss! I always write the emails as "this is to inform you that..."

    Martin Jakubik
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    In my old job we had form stated "Holiday notice". Probably one of very few thing I liked at that place. Because exactly, I notify you of my plan not to be there at that particular days.

    SeidWolf
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Don't ask for permission if you won't like the answer - WARNING: does NOT apply to interpersonal behavior.

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    #31

    Funny-Corporate-Millennial-Jokes

    corporate_millennial_memes Report

    Vicky Z
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Careful what you wish for

    #32

    Funny-Corporate-Millennial-Jokes

    corporate_millennial_memes Report

    ZAPanda
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    the above is actually british english for 'you are an idiot and why have you not done this yet?'

    Beta
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I just go “hey boss man can you do the thing that you said you’d do a month ago because if you don’t Im f*****g quitting

    Pat Bond
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I was told by a Glaswegian boss I had once to stop apologising. Great advice. She was as tough as they come.

    Poyda
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It is actually the best advice I have received in a work environment to date

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    Carol Emory
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    And there, folks, is anxiety in a nutshell.....

    Caitlin Fairchild
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Ah yes... the struggle of being a woman in corporate

    Alma Muminovic
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Emily it’s okay to hold people accountable when they have it coming. They may resent you but they will also respect you.

    matilda
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I thought is only here in UK. Not even allowed to use CAN instead of COULD lol

    Sandra Llewelyn
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Write some template e mails and just send them no need to get anxious then :)

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    #33

    Funny-Corporate-Millennial-Jokes

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    Rissie
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Your anxiety is so high, you're relaxed again.

    Mrs S
    Community Member
    Premium
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    When my anxiety is high but I'm cool

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    #34

    Funny-Corporate-Millennial-Jokes

    corporate_millennial_memes Report

    Bananic
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    *sleeping in a usual position* my body is broken

    BasedWang
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Hopped in the tiniest mosh pit for my guys band.... Im talkin 5 people all of us in 30s so we know were not trying to murder eachother... F****n felt like I walked like frankensteins monster for 2.5 weeks

    Kimi Tomminello
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    😂 thank you for sharing this story, it's been a day and the visual made me laugh

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    Printerman
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Just wait a couple more decades. *maniacal laughter*

    Aurora Garrison
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    *literally being anywhere ever* My body is broken

    Matthew
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Bought a new pillow, called off work the next day bc I couldn't turn my head.

    Anna Tribe
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I slept in a weird position last night and for some reason my left shoulder is incredibly painful. Not sure how I managed to hurt it while sleeping but I did

    Adél Gáspár
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I can totally relate. I managed to sprain my ankle in my sleep and it was sore for months (just by tucking my feet under the duvet the wrong way). Had to do physio exercise for weeks

    Robin Oscarsson
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm in this picture, and i don't like it.

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    #35

    Funny-Corporate-Millennial-Jokes

    corporate_millennial_memes Report

    Pa4040
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    In my company you are expected to sign up for finance/technical courses in order for you to increase your expertise. You sign up, go through mind-melting demagogic storm of corporate slang, understand 10% of what they "taught" you, then end up with 40% more work and additional tasks on top of what you were already struggling with. Catch is, you get nothig extra because the higher paid positions are already taken and there is a queue behind each one. But hey, my company wants me to show personal development desire?

    Mer☕️🧭☕️
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Heh, sounds like they're training you to get a better job somewhere else.

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    Vicky Z
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Also we fired your colleague and you'll take his job too! Am i going to take his salary too? Lol no

    DonS
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yop... I'm quitting my present job exactly for that. When I announced it and told them I will be pursuing "new challenges elsewhere", meaning I have another job lined up... all of the sudden, they have money to give me an adequate raise (and they noticed they're royally f*cked without me since I'm the only one left who knows how to use a couple of software) ! New job: 10% raise, better insurances, remote working forever (one day at the office per month), more vacations etc.

    WilvanderHeijden
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    If you can't pay me more money, you can let me have the same pay with a lot less hours.

    June
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    At my work, 3 people with higher salaries than mine left (one of them was the techlead). More work, more responsibilities for me, and I stay with my 28k salary even if they litterally save 200k per month. Guess who is the next to leave? (and I'm the last developer in my team, able to deal with ~10 clients apps)

    Mike Loux
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "We believe work is its own reward. Oh, by the way, expect to get rewarded a lot more next year."

    Freya the Wanderer
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Work may be its own reward, but that doesn't pay the rent or any of the bills.

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    Alma Muminovic
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Hahahaaha! 😂 People be doing some office crack on the side it seem’s.

    robin aldrich
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Also how about a new title instead of that raise??? Feel better?

    Robert Thompson
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I let my regular clients know that I would be making a COLA adjustment to my service fee. They wanted to know what additional services would come with the new fee.....🙄 I wish I could say that to gas prices.

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    #36

    Funny-Corporate-Millennial-Jokes

    corporate_millennial_memes Report

    Candy Rude
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Biggest stress was trying to figure out what music to have. Haha also Napster.

    Jayne Kyra
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That and who your "top 8" were. Ah, simpler times!

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    Om
    Community Member
    4 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    If I remember correctly there was a time where Facebook and Youtube didn't have ads either, or am I dreaming?

    D K
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Tom was my first ever social media friend. Hats off to you, Tom.

    Ezigma
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Omg yes. Could not agree more!!

    Marc Lauzon
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Because MySpace would not have all that later.

    Mikey Kliss
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Not being in your besties top 10 was pretty frustrating

    Eagle Girl
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Myspace is still alive & well. a chill space to find & share music. Even the ads are music. What youtube used to be

    Robert Thompson
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Whoever wrote this didn't stay on myspace long after 2002.

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    #37

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    corporate_millennial_memes Report

    James016
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Be a hero, never book Friday meeting.

    Vicky Z
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Or don't be an asshole and leave us alone on Fridays!! But yours was more polite

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    Poultry Geist
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I actually love the feeling I get when I have something I have to do and it gets canceled:)

    Sawdust
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Hmm, should I start calling Friday meetings just so I can cancel them? :-)

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    Madzdad the bard
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My company actually has a policy of no Friday meetings or software/hardware configuration changes. Love it.

    ZAPanda
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Be a hero, let your staff off early on Friday.

    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I had a meeting with QHS today at 1500. It is well known I work to 1300 on Fridays. Guess where I am now. At home with my kid. As if I would let the little stinker down. If it's important they can tell me Monday's what they would like me have done.

    Kay blue
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I had a boss who used to schedule a meeting at 16:30 on a Friday. They then wondered why no one was paying close attention and why we were all trying not to yawn.

    Kym Clum
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I dunno. "Meetings" at my work are an excuse to faff off for an hour Instead of taking phone calls.

    Samantha Tej
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Be an icon, cancel work on Fridays.

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    #38

    Funny-Corporate-Millennial-Jokes

    corporate_millennial_memes Report

    Vicky Z
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    First pic never happens

    BasedWang
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    the first pic should just be blank

    Patti
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Anything Freddy I will upvote

    Hugo Raible
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    If you can, change jobs which make it mandatory where it could be optional. Those people don't care about your health.

    Sawdust
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'll have to go back and re-watch Mr. Robot in a few years...

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    #39

    Funny-Corporate-Millennial-Jokes

    corporate_millennial_memes Report

    Luther von Wolfen
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I do this on purpose so people will leave me alone.

    SeidWolf
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Quiznos' dead and pressed gerbils, AKA "spongmonkeys"

    June
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I don't even bother anymore to lie to myself like that. I'll dress, I'll maybe brush my hair. Here we go.

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    #40

    Funny-Corporate-Millennial-Jokes

    corporate_millennial_memes Report

    Alma Muminovic
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I just started putting it’s on the resume for every answer.

    Freya the Wanderer
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    If you aren't willing to look at my blooming resume for my contact info and work experience, you don't deserve me as an employee.

    MyOpinionHasBeenServed
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It's quitin' time when they want you to do the Indeed puzzle tests.

    Anna Repp
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    IKR! Or the "proficiency tests." I've been doing graphic design for over 20 years, I'm freaking teaching Adobe programs to college kids - I'm not wasting my time on a graphic design proficiency test!

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    #41

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    Henry Russell
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    thats scarier than any haunted house

    Dolly_of TheCowboy
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    People ask me why I don't like going on roller coasters at amusement parks. I tend to reply I do not want to replicate the feeling of a day at work on a day off

    Kelandry Yemrot
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Haunted houses: have never scared me Real life: scares me daily

    olx
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    oo as a schoolkid I felt this

    Vicky Z
    Community Member
    4 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    At the moment i have 3 unread emails, 2 unpaid bills that need to be paid really soon, and a few outdoor errands to do! Please put me in a haunted house! But don't take away my phone cause i still want to read BP

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    #42

    Funny-Corporate-Millennial-Jokes

    corporate_millennial_memes Report

    DennyS (denzoren)
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This pains me to admit that it's November and still true.

    Poultry Geist
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Where are you that it’s still November ? I want to go there !

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    Monic Krugell
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    People phone you and are like "I haven't spoken to you in a long time, what have you been up too?" ..... "Well not much, I have been working and sleeping and repeating". They think I am just being sort off rude, but just really don't have anything else to report unless they wanna listen to which colleague annoys me the most

    Verena Abt
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I once had a passenger walk into the galley (in August!) saying, I fly almost as much as you do. This is already my eighth flight this year. How difficult it was too keep a straight face. With a bit of an unlucky roster you can have eight flights in two days!

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    #43

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    best turtle
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    upvote because of bobs burgers amazing show

    John Baker
    Community Member
    4 years ago

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    And then he'll complain that he never has time to get anything done.

    monkeydog
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I agree with your earlier proposal for a mute function to the comments.

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    #44

    Funny-Corporate-Millennial-Jokes

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    ephemeral_mochi
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    can somebody get christopher some therapy?

    Luther von Wolfen
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yes, but someday I'll die and all my troubles will be over.

    Emmydearest
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It's a short life when all day you wait for the evening, every week you wait for the weekend, every year you wait for your holidays...

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    #45

    Funny-Corporate-Millennial-Jokes

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    Daniel Lesnick
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm plagiarizing the hell out of this! Thanks!

    Duncan Rogers
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Or as my father used to say to me..."Son, bite off more than you can chew, your mouth is bigger than you think."

    Pat Bond
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Interesting, I can only imagine on the third effort his boss may have wanted a quiet word.

    WilvanderHeijden
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Are you sure? We all know of the IT guys who suddenly were in charge of the coffee machine because it had a plug and buttons and it did "Beep". And I'm sure that this happens a lot. Because you know Excel, you're our IT-person. Because you know how a phone works, you are in charge of communications.

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    #46

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    Monday
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Well s**t...guess I'll die.

    PauWow
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Wth Monday, what are you doing here??? It's Friday evening...just go away

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    Victoria Renee
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    JOKES ON YOU I HAVENT MADE ANY WEEKEND PLANS YET

    Eden
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I didn't make plans to begin with tho.

    Anna Tribe
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Last week while feeling well I offered to have my two grandchildren aged 5 and 7 overnight Saturday to Sunday. Woke up this Saturday morning and just had absolutely no energy and in pain and tried hard to get my daughter to agree for them to come next weekend instead. Didn't work and now my grandkids are here and it's minecraft galore 😣

    2022emmam trent
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This'll be easy, I never plan anything because I know I won't got through with it

    SeidWolf
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    right, hiding from the world, check

    Monic Krugell
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    luckily I planned to do as little as possible

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    #47

    Funny-Corporate-Millennial-Jokes

    corporate_millennial_memes , twitter.com Report

    Rijkærd
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    As if I didn't proofread it 15x already...

    Peculiar hedgehog
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    When I see someone editing a doc sometimes I wait then Pounce and add this image in front of their flashing cursor

    MaggieWest
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Scared the crap out of me, this looks exactly like my mom 30 years ago (⊙.☉)

    #48

    Funny-Corporate-Millennial-Jokes

    corporate_millennial_memes Report

    Bananic
    Community Member
    4 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My heart rate got raised just by reading this

    Rijkærd
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I would only be scared by the bank account rapidly decreasing.

    Henry Russell
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    welcome the the house of life dun dun daaaaaaaaaaaaa

    Tim
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Aren't haunted houses supposed to be fictitious?

    Verena Abt
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I prefer "please fix" to "Can you come in early to tomorrow for a chat?"

    SeidWolf
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    LOL... truth is this is pretty much every generation in their early 30's

    Viola Yarrow
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Teenagers on bicycles, change, all the comfy face masks are in the wash and debt. Just adding

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    #49

    Funny-Corporate-Millennial-Jokes

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    WilvanderHeijden
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I worked very hard on Monday so I could take it easy for the rest of the week. You should start your weekend rested on Thursday evening.

    Robert Thompson
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Minimum wage calls for minimum work.

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    #50

    Funny-Corporate-Millennial-Jokes

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    Vicky Z
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Me dreaming i s**t Euros so i don't have to work ever again

    #51

    Funny-Corporate-Millennial-Jokes

    corporate_millennial_memes Report

    Lee Macro
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My old boss always used to say s**t like this....."Make sure we're all singing from the same hymn sheet". "Let's run it up the flagpole and see which way the wind blows". Wanted to rip my own arm off and beat her to death with it

    Poultry Geist
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I love this type of thing ! My English teacher use to say .. “Well this goes over like a lead balloon!” And “ I’m as serious as a heart attack “

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    Blackheart
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Saying lots of words to say nothing

    SeidWolf
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    life is a parody of itself - laugh at absurdity or be broken by it ( I did both )

    #52

    Funny-Corporate-Millennial-Jokes

    corporate_millennial_memes Report

    Raven Sheridan
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm just trying to make it through this life!

    Gerard Neaux
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It just sucks cause we don't make it out alive

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    June
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm so exhausted I don't know what day it is most of the time. My perception of time is based on a "non-weekend vs weekend" pattern 😆

    Klas Klättermus
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    She looks like she has been brutally assautled

    Shelli Aderman
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Week? I usually say, “Tuesday!” 🤣

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    #53

    Funny-Corporate-Millennial-Jokes

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    WilvanderHeijden
    Community Member
    4 years ago

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    That would be since the first day you worked.

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    #54

    Funny-Corporate-Millennial-Jokes

    corporate_millennial_memes , twitter.com Report

    SeidWolf
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    LOL - living is like the movie Lifeforce (now very dated)

    #55

    Funny-Corporate-Millennial-Jokes

    corporate_millennial_memes Report

    Josy Bannon
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I get really panicky and dress up my upper half of my body while removing laundry from view in a few seconds.

    #56

    Funny-Corporate-Millennial-Jokes

    corporate_millennial_memes Report

    Ryan Deschanel
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I don't get it. Is it some sort of American joke that I am too European to understand?

    ThatOneWriter
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    When a worker (or workers) quit, the remaining workers have to shoulder their work. Rarely does a manager pick up the slack and hiring new people never seems to be a high priority. After all, if the business can keep running with reduced staff, it's seen as more money in the investors' and owner's pockets.(Gross but just how it works)

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    DonS
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yop... Had 2 coworkers in my department quit and got their workload without an appropriate raise (I'm the only one left). Then, 5 more coworkers quit in other departments and got some more of their workload on my plate. Then I quit and nobody knows how to do my job which is crucial on the project and now every one is on full panic mode (project manager, remaining employees who will try to do my job, clients). I'm just watching the dumpster fire during my last week.

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    #57

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    Kay blue
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    If I've already taken my bra off then I am at home for the rest of the night.

    Monic Krugell
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    lock the front door as I walk in, then its over - No one is leaving and no one is coming in.

    Shelli Aderman
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    When is it NOT that season? Asking for a friend…

    Sum Guy
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It's summer here... we are all just waiting for the 15th for our 3-week break from work. It's about to be a party, no one cares about new variants

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    #58

    Funny-Corporate-Millennial-Jokes

    corporate_millennial_memes Report

    WilvanderHeijden
    Community Member
    4 years ago

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    Instead of discussing and thinking and planning your quitting, you could have quitted and found a better job 12 years ago. Now you're too late.

    #59

    Funny-Corporate-Millennial-Jokes

    corporate_millennial_memes Report

    June
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "I don't like monday mornings. Or people who like monday morning. Or mondays. Or mornings. Or people. "

    #60

    Funny-Corporate-Millennial-Jokes

    corporate_millennial_memes Report

    Gerard Neaux
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Just don't take it outside the walls of the company if they have card swipes for time tracking

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    #61

    Funny-Corporate-Millennial-Jokes

    corporate_millennial_memes Report

    Hugo Raible
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    These emails should immediately result in an updated CV and LinkedIn profile.

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    #62

    Funny-Corporate-Millennial-Jokes

    corporate_millennial_memes Report

    Bananic
    Community Member
    4 years ago

    This comment has been deleted.

    ElenaK
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Glad it is not just me.

    WilvanderHeijden
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It's unbelievable. I get paid to play with computers all day long. And coworkers treat me like I'm royalty since one of them got fired because they found a lot of inappropriate photo's in his working folder.

    #64

    Funny-Corporate-Millennial-Jokes

    corporate_millennial_memes Report

    James016
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The picture on the right is your second day of work

    June
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Before lockdown / after lockdown. I never - NEVER - wear "real clothes" anymore. "office pyjama" FTW !

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    #67

    Funny-Corporate-Millennial-Jokes

    corporate_millennial_memes Report

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    #69

    Funny-Corporate-Millennial-Jokes

    corporate_millennial_memes Report

    WilvanderHeijden
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It apparently does, but no one ever seen it happen because we're all out by 4.15

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    #70

    Funny-Corporate-Millennial-Jokes

    corporate_millennial_memes Report

    rspanther
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Wow you actually made it to Wednesday?

    #71

    Funny-Corporate-Millennial-Jokes

    corporate_millennial_memes Report

    #72

    Funny-Corporate-Millennial-Jokes

    corporate_millennial_memes Report

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    #74

    Funny-Corporate-Millennial-Jokes

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    Victoria
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Oh I'll remember it ...... Narrator: She did not in fact, remember

    #75

    Funny-Corporate-Millennial-Jokes

    corporate_millennial_memes Report

    WilvanderHeijden
    Community Member
    4 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    More: When you haven't done one single minute of honest work in your entire life and learn that you ran out of Dom Perignon at 11.00 AM.

    June
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Expensive lifestyle aka surviving

    #76

    Funny-Corporate-Millennial-Jokes

    corporate_millennial_memes Report

    Bananic
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Stressing out from the day before, 10 min of 'can you hear me', 20 min of 'have yoh got vaccines', 10 min of actual call and treating myself for the rest of the day

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    #77

    Funny-Corporate-Millennial-Jokes

    corporate_millennial_memes Report

    WilvanderHeijden
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Thank you for your email. I've read it and filed it under "Insane requests". But keep them coming, I really need the laughs I get out of them.

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    #78

    Funny-Corporate-Millennial-Jokes

    corporate_millennial_memes Report

    #79

    Funny-Corporate-Millennial-Jokes

    corporate_millennial_memes Report

    Rijkærd
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Shout out to that fella getting his merch out there...

    guy greej
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This caption was much better when I first saw the pic. Also post shouldn't exist if won't be fully legible

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    Hugo Raible
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Last time there was a crop this bad, half of Ireland died.

    #80

    Funny-Corporate-Millennial-Jokes

    corporate_millennial_memes Report

    ElenaK
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Why post it if it is not readable! Come on BP!

    Diana
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My mental health watching me actually take PTO without compulsively checking emails and slack

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