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Comebacks are a rare and fleeting thing, as most of us will only think of the perfect retort to someone hours after they've actually insulted us. Social media, however, has given us the unprecedented opportunity to send our comebacks to the right place at the right time and wipe those stupid smirks off of our enemies' faces!
It turns out, there's a perfectly savage burn for any given situation - whether it be your pupils trying to diss you at a class reunion, somebody questioning your education, and, of course, people trying to mock or brag about theirs or your love life. And if you ever fall short on comeback ideas, you can always circle back to this great collection and just pick one!
If you've ever seen a perfect comeback captured on social media, please add it to our list – and vote for your favorites as well!
(h/t: distractify)
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
Savage Burn
JeanneDeaux 10 years ago
Aaaaah Miss Johanson!!! You're my favorite teacher too even if I don't know you! Well done!
RELATED:
#2
Classic Burn
Thushari Seneviratne 3 years ago
nino nino nino *fire alarm sounds* nino nino nino nino
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Nate Rusev 4 years ago
speaking of d***s, in 7th some guys in the bathroom asked how long my d**k was, and i told them it was longer than theirs, though it's mostly because they were in the wrong bathroom.
THATSJDOT 1 year ago
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂. Imagine if you were just taking to one person😂😂😂😂😂😂😂."longer than yours" 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
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Lillian Martin-Fultz 5 years ago
so my best friend called me ugly i said yeah i know i tried to look at the mirror but you already broke it
Nathaniel Burchill 3 years ago
This is so weard a keybord is like Flip the computer display screen upside down
ManCity255 5 years ago (edited)
No, that ain't really a roast. This guy is talking about the QWERTY keyboard. On an ALPHABETICAL keyboard, his so-called 'd**k' is actually long... so I can't believe that person wasted good time just to write some stupid roast.
#3
Funny Comebacks
Compass Login 7 years ago
you talk so much if you ran like your mouth you would be in great shape
Nathaniel Burchill 3 years ago
LOLLOLLOLLOLLOLLOLLOLLOLLOLLOLLOLLOLLOLLOLLOLLOLLOLLOLLOLLOLLOLLOLLOLLOLLOLLOLLOLLOLLOLLOLLOLLOLLOLLOLLOLLOLLOLLOLLOLLOLLOLLOLLOLLOLLOLLOLLOLLOLLOLLOLLOLLOLLOLLOLLOLLOLLOLLOLLOLLOLLOLLOLLOLLOLLOLLOLLOLLOLLOLLOLLOLLOLLOLLOLLOLLOLLOLLOLLOLLOLLOLLOLLOLLOLLOLLOLLOLLOLLOLLOLLOLLOLLOLLOLLOLLOLLOLLOLLOLLOLLOLLOLLOLLOLLOLLOLLOLLOLLOLLOLLOLLOLLOLLOLLOLLOLLOLLOLLOLLOLLOLLOLLOLLOLLOLLOLLOLLOLLOLLOLLOLLOLLOLLOLLOLLOLLOLLOLLOLLOLLOLLOLLOLLOLLOLLOLLOLLOLLOLLOLLOLLOLLOLLOLLOLLOLLOLLOLLOLLOLLOLLOLLOLLOLLOLLOLLOLLOLLOLLOLLOLLOLLOLLOLLOLLOLLOL
#4
Never Mess With The Sister
P.BruxFHell 10 years ago
She got what she deserved. I hate girls that check their bf's phones. Yes, we ALL have secrets!!
KarinMorris 10 years ago
LOL I've been married for 16 years and I would NEVER check my husbands text messages. This kind of woman you leave really quickly
#5
Know Your Quotes
Chelsea Ann Sheehan 4 years ago (edited)
I would like to point out that the books of Leviticus and Deuteronomy are in the Old Testament. That means that they were part of the Jewish holy book before they were ever part of the Bible. If you’re going to use the ENTIRE Bible and not just the the Old or New Testament individually to justify your opinion of the law, keep in mind that you may be using the holy books of two different religions at the same time if you quote verses from both the Old and New Testament in your arguments.
Genevieve Goungo 5 years ago
I look up to the LGBT community because I support lesbians, gays, bisexuals, e.t.c. If you think that being any of those is a sin, I want you to read the verse below. A lot of LGBT’s are in love with each other. Look what the Bible says about love: “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.” 1 Corinthians 13:4-5 The Bible says that love is one of the most beautiful things God ever made. How is it a sin to love the same gender?
BenNorheim 10 years ago
Actually, most of the rules in the bible were cultural. But God defined marriage, not the rulers in biblical times.
BenNorheim 10 years ago
Actually, some of these were cultural, but it says that God defined marriage not the law makers in biblical times.
PascaledeGruy 10 years ago
This is by far the best response to a bible quotin' anti gay crazed Christian I've seen yet! Bravo.
#6
Savage Burn
#7
Classy Comeback
#8
Lovely Burn
Michael Kangas 7 years ago
OMG I SAW A PICTURE OF MY BABY SITTER YOUNGER AND THAT LOOKS LIKE HER!!!
#9
Proper Education
Garden Warfare All The Way 8 years ago
This comment is hidden. Click here to view.
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KaroliinaRanne 10 years ago
Quite often here in UK people don't seem to even know the European geography. At least many people I've come in contact with.
#10
Funny Comeback
#11
Taxi Service
Adelaide Paterson 6 years ago
hey I just met you and this is crazy so *walks off (other person) Can I have your number
#12
Job Opportunities
Charlotte Bazemore 2 years ago
i dont think that thts a very nice burn good one but i would never use that ever
#13
Foodie Burns
PattonPawter 4 years ago
If y’all don’t get it, the only way a pizza can come in 20 sec is if it’s a single slice.
Ryan - OurUrb 4 years ago
Oh pizza scented crap, I bet it smelled better after that 20sec time.
#14
Mommy Dearest
GreebsterIcaria 10 years ago
My reply to that would be "yeah, your mom's great!"
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#15
Savage Burns
Charlotte Bazemore 2 years ago
btw i dont think i would ever be in a situation to use this lol
#16
Browser History
Garden Warfare All The Way 8 years ago
yes i agree. you mom messed up on your bith
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美海 9 years ago
Your grammar 'done mess up' as well, DJ. Never start a sentence with "And." *your grammar Your is a possessive pronoun, while you're stands for "you are."
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Savage Roast
Jaden Maldonado 6 years ago
Must have been born on a highway, because that’s were most accidents happen.
Ariana Mari Joe 9 years ago
QWHAI;shrilwaso;e/ldriowalswahseow (sorry, that was me dying of laughter)
Dustin Meyers 7 years ago
I could eat a bowl of alphabet soup and s**t out a better burn that that
#18
Orange You Glad
PaulaMarshall 10 years ago
Who's dumb? Stupid comment gets smart comeback.
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robot cat 5000 5 years ago
If someone says that you were born on the highway because that's whare most accidents happen just say roses are red violets are blue your birth was more tragic than the bomb that ended world war two
#19
Sibling Rivalry
Garden Warfare All The Way 8 years ago
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Jahran Nesbitt 4 years ago
these people just have to go out of their way to f**k up someone else's smh......
SemoreButts 10 years ago
Who ever made the comeback, I will kiss the person. I hate quotes and they're pointless like this one says the sad people are the happiest. B******T, they're sad and never the happiest or the wisest. [I bet someone will make a comback to this comment].
#20
Missing Something?
DanielFlynn 10 years ago
That's the point, they are saying that he doesn't have a penis!
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#21
Savage Burn
Lydia Interiano Dalton 6 years ago
Should have actually used that tiny brain of yours before you attacked Taco Bell like that man.
That_One_Harry_Potter_Nerd 4 years ago
Well, why aren’t Taco Bell tacos made of tacos and bells?
Camille Chaffin 4 years ago
MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM Im getting taco bell today now :) I get the chicken casadia
#22
Funny Comeback
ElliotLord 10 years ago
It is a noun as well as an adjective. Failure! Have you heard the new single by...
MonicaMontoya 10 years ago
it's not a noun in the context it's being used.
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StephanieBarr 10 years ago
Did anyone notice that the response described stupid as an adjective but used a noun definition? Yeah no Nobel Laureates here.
BudBudderson 10 years ago
Did you notice that he was mocking Jamie? Not that I'm an expert, but that may have been why he used a noun definition. Don't kid yourelf, you're not getting a Nobel either.
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Una Winstanley 9 years ago
Stupid (adjective) - Women that think single is a noun. Tell me, how many girlfriends do you have since that day you posted that?
Moxie Mallahan 3 years ago
The problem is that she was addressing issues of sexism and still people want to bash her.
Load More Replies... Lydia Interiano Dalton 5 years ago (edited)
im reading these comments and its like im being slapped in the face with good and bad grammar. jesus christ stop school hasn't started yet. i still got 5 more days.
ChristopherResurreccion 9 years ago
It's an adjective. To even say you are single you are still describing yourself. If I said you are yellow or you are blue does blue or yellow become the subject ? No, it doesn't YOU is still the subject and blue is the adjective. Yes it can be used as both a noun and an adjective but in this case this chick was stupid
NatalieBlonde 10 years ago
A noun is a person place or thing. I am still in school so I would know, and a man is a noun so yeah.. And an adjective is describing a word, single man. Single is the adjective , and a man is a noun so it's BOTH a noun and an adjective, gets your facts straight people.
BudBudderson 10 years ago
Wow, you're smart because you can post the same comment twice! Amazing!
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FilipJanků 10 years ago
I can see that many of you are smarter than dictionaries... http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/single :-)
JayceyRae 10 years ago
It's classified as a noun is several different contexts. That dude is just a misogynistic prick.
#23
Savage Burn
JeanneDeaux 10 years ago
Do not mind the angry jalous ones. You're a very good actor. your interpretation in Criminal Minds for example was perfect.
Asura “the destructor” 8 years ago
haters gonna hate,like bitches that they are
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#24
Worthy Sacrifice
#25
Savage Roasts
NicolasGeorge 10 years ago
I'm sorry but really, mind you These are only the musings of a semi-literate ape here. Albeit one with a 4.3 GPA. Yes, I am still in high school, and I believe that if you are implying that all men are semi-literate apes then you would much better off looking at the great minds of history. Albert Einstein, Tsun Zsu( probably incorrect spelling), Sigmund Freud, etc; and if you are going to attempt to use the "That's because women were oppressed by men back then!", card then I will direct yor attention to Stephen Hawking, Kim Ung Yong, myself, and many more Male-Apes of above average IQ's. Aldo to say that I lack social skills is not going to work because I can tell you I don't use any social media outlet. I prefer to instead use something called my mouth and ears. When used the right way, the latter more than the former, these get almost any person ten times the amount of true friends then there will ever be in your fantasy world called facebook.
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Golden Boy 5 years ago
And this is why my female friends practice knife throwing in their spare time.
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Lydia Interiano Dalton 6 years ago (edited)
or beat the c**p out of him with it. also BudBudderson stfu, get up off the f*****g couch make your own f*****g sandwich. actually dont, u probably need to go on a jog or some s**t, bc if you're too lazy to make yourself a sandwich then you should be worried about when you're gonna see your feet again not a sandwich. no shame to overweight people i just dont like sexist people.
Jesus Christ 4 years ago
this post was well made 6 years ago, i thought i was the only one here
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WhiteFox 8 years ago
and then ill make u eat it and stuff ur face into it until u suffocate and die
#26
The Real Thing
#27
F The Rules
Monochrome life 3 years ago (edited)
Than guard your a*s from men that respect rules just as much as you.
#28
Thinking Process
It's Caturday 9 years ago
Vvigy is right. She doesn't understand the process of A male's brain (Singular).
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ElliotLord 10 years ago
The order changes depending on the votes... Comeback?
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TheFirstAndTheLast 9 years ago
Well he said she was dumb while making a dumb mistake. When she corrected him she alluded that she was smarter than him which is kind of a burn.
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#29
Heart Breaking Comeback
#30
Savage Roast
Genevieve Goungo 5 years ago
I kind of don’t like the spaghetti dude because a lot of women have authority over men and it says she must be quiet. The fact that it says ‘she must be quiet’ defines who I am.
Alice Ayres 5 years ago
For every biblical quote somebody throws out, there is another biblical quote contradicting it. How have bible quotes not caught onto this?
#31
Bad Burn
#32
Funny Comeback
LockieScott 10 years ago
Tom Anderson posting his own gloat/burn. #canihazhelpworkingtheinternetz
#33
Questioning The Progress
varnadoechristopher 9 years ago
And the Lord cometh from above to marvel at the magnificent burn that was cast unto place here
#34
Nasty Comeback
#35
Simple Explanation
#36
Funny Comeback
TashiroFrühling 10 years ago
err. thats kinda his point in first place... she was the one blaming him for posting something "banal" on his personal tweet.
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Savage Roast
#38
Bad Burn
ツ_Itz_Your_Girl_ツ 5 years ago
I love this one! ( my favorite! ) I should use this somethime!!!!!!!!
#39
Overheard At Durham Uni Fb Group Post
Final score:
9points
Luna Tuna/MEEGsquad 6 years ago
since traffic wardens dont work on sundays, they faked it.
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Photo Editing
Final score:
3points
ツ_Itz_Your_Girl_ツ 5 years ago
oh... that was so rude! I don't approve... :( (people would say stuff like that to me that's why...)
saman.y 10 years ago
ah Come on if she or anyone said something wrong (at least in your's perspective) it's not right to make fun how they born or how they create.god bless cya
Orange Swirl 5 years ago (edited)
Well Layth obviously needs Photoshop on her entire body if she's too afraid to show herself to the world.
#41
Sometimes Moms Are The Best At Burns
Final score:
-1point
Add New Image
What do you think ?
Bailey MORGAN 9 years ago
funniest i have probs seen so funny a to z one made me cry look at #2
kiana zurch 1 year ago (edited)
an insult i used on my nasty roomate (she set me up perfectly for it), she said your room really stinks, and immediately after she said that, without hesitation i said, kind of like your attitude, then to make it sting more, i walked out of the room without apologizing and instead said, goodbye. #noregrets
kiana zurch 1 year ago
yeouch it almost makes me feel bad for the recieving end of those burns, I mean i bet they deserve it, my all time favourite burn is, You're so ugly you made a hundred eyed alien run away in terror
Scholar Warrior 7 years ago
Don't know what to say if someone calls you fat,or ugly or F*** you. Try SNAPPY COMEBACKS . More than 500 savage comebacks to shut your bully. Lightweight app of 1.8mb: https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.knightedapps.android.snappycomebacks
Bailey MORGAN 9 years ago
funniest i have probs seen so funny a to z one made me cry look at #2
kiana zurch 1 year ago (edited)
an insult i used on my nasty roomate (she set me up perfectly for it), she said your room really stinks, and immediately after she said that, without hesitation i said, kind of like your attitude, then to make it sting more, i walked out of the room without apologizing and instead said, goodbye. #noregrets
kiana zurch 1 year ago
yeouch it almost makes me feel bad for the recieving end of those burns, I mean i bet they deserve it, my all time favourite burn is, You're so ugly you made a hundred eyed alien run away in terror
Scholar Warrior 7 years ago
Don't know what to say if someone calls you fat,or ugly or F*** you. Try SNAPPY COMEBACKS . More than 500 savage comebacks to shut your bully. Lightweight app of 1.8mb: https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.knightedapps.android.snappycomebacks
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