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In ancient times, almost every battle began with a verbal confrontation - two representatives of each army gathered in the field between the armies prepared for battle, and began to shower each other with insults, and the wittier each remark was, the more inspired the warriors would be for the upcoming battle. So it was in the ancient world, so it was in the early Middle Ages, so it was in the days of knights and samurai.

Now, unfortunately, this noble art is almost forgotten, and the battles have gradually moved to the internet. And still, the ability to completely demolish any opponent with just one witty phrase, to make them choke on a retort, remains no less valuable - even if it no longer brings victory on the battlefield.

There's an entire community on Reddit called r/Comebacks dedicated to the most unexpected, impactful, and incredible comebacks ever said, written, or typed. As of today, there are 14.8K members in the community, and hundreds of genuine combo-breaking masterpieces of wit.

Bored Panda has compiled for you this brilliant selection of the most popular and delightful pearls that are likely to have you in stitches. So sit back, make sure you're not chewing or drinking anything right now - and start scrolling this list! Have fun or die laughing!

More info: Reddit

#1

Funny-Comebacks-Reddit

u/zaynthelegend Report

Ruby
Community Member
2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Please apply aloe vera to wound immediately

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    #2

    Funny-Comebacks-Reddit

    u/OneAnxiousKitten Report

    yeeyee
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This… this is how you answer a question.

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    #3

    Funny-Comebacks-Reddit

    u/SlanticEX Report

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    #7

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    u/TCKaizer29 Report

    James A Tipton
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'll wear an ugly mask just to make sure you don't talk to me.

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    #8

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    u/LieutenantFoxx Report

    Ruby
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I mean, they're not wrong though.

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    #9

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    u/Monjipour Report

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    #10

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    u/englishsaw Report

    scag$y
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My Grandpa and Grandma had two daughters and they all lived in the same end terrace house. There wasn't much space and there were frequent loud and shouty arguments. My Grandpa used to switch his hearing aids off and swore that losing his hearing was the best thing he could have hoped for from WWII.

    Velveteen Worm
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My sister will remove her cochlear and say "I'm done talking to you right now"

    Queen Shay
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I’m sorry but I do not understand this meme or even know where it comes from and it upsets me every time cause I’m just like “huh”

    BeepBeepBoopBoop
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    same as the cat! It's just two ladies yelling at a cat. (I googled it and apparently the girls are from an episode of The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, no idea where the cat came from ngl)

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    Riley Quinn
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Most of my apartment neighbors are severely hard of hearing, which results in some excessively loud conversations. Now I'm going to ruminate on whether I'm worth batteries.

    Alexandra Davis
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I get mine free (good job as they last 2-3 days) but realised Americans not only have to pay for their hearing aids (mine cost the NHS £6000- I'm fully deaf in one ear so this is just for my other ear and I'm profoundly deaf in that one so it's strong model- some people need 2!) but the batteries too! They cost around $10 a pack of 10 apparently so I can see why some people may run out, not only may you forget to have some on you, but may not be able to afford them!

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    NoIdeaForAName
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yes!!!!! The number of times I’ve said this as a joke. Deaf girl problems 😂😂

    Tanel Saunanen
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    the first nine was pretty good and this template is my favorite but this was disappointment

    Aniviel
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm going to have to remember this! Which means I'll forget all about it when/if the need arises to use that comeback.

    Jane Hower
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My best one ever was when I was shopping at Freddy's and a little old lady walked past me, wearing her mask (I don't ever), and she wagged her finger at me and said "you should be wearing a mask", and I said back "And I should be wearing underwear, but here we are!!" hehe

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    #11

    Funny-Comebacks-Reddit

    u/_Clex_ Report

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    #13

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    u/Initial_Ad_2133 Report

    DennyS (denzoren)
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "Thanks, as we're on the topic of unwanted medical advice, you should probably get tested for hypertension with all that salt in your diet." Can be a good comeback.

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    #14

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    u/Betty_noire_official Report

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    #16

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    u/PrimaryPicture6970 Report

    DennyS (denzoren)
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Vote blue, can't keep a dead body on board after that burn.

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    #18

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    u/MiaTheGachaOtaku Report

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    #19

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    u/ellisdude200 Report

    Ruby
    Community Member
    2 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I would say apply cold water, but I think their IQ will do it for them.

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    #20

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    u/Lukelucc Report

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