As you probably know, unless you live under a rock, Twitter and its newfound CEO, Elon Musk, have been the talk of the town over the past few weeks. Since Elon Musk’s takeover, we have seen everything from high-profile departures to a massive layoff. Last but not least, a whole new verification system that seems to have backfired like lighting a matchstick at a gas station. In a job market more and more made of flexible schedules, work-life balance, and remote working, Elon Musk hit his now ex-employees in the face with a big “nope.”
Countless Twitter memes later, the world is now split into those who believe Twitter’s era is over and those who think the company will be able to make it through this rough patch. We’re no visionaries here, so we’ll refrain from making predictions. But one thing is certain: Tweeters have delivered high-quality comedy over the years, and funny tweets are all we’re here for today.
If you’re looking for a good laugh, this is our “best of Twitter,” a place to come back to over and over again, in loving memory of what Twitter was in case everything goes down the drain. Here we’ve rounded up what we’re positive are some of the funniest tweets of all time — the ones that make us laugh every time we read them!
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I'm pretty sure that the coffee myth has been debunked. In 2015/2016, my wife's OB said it was okay to drink caffeine, but maybe not in excess. Alcohol and cigarettes are still a no-go.
According to legend the order of the sounds is mystical and powerful. Sections chanted in the right order can move mountains. This knowledge was kept secret by priestesses. I'm only famililiar with Greek and Celtic mythology, but in both sometime around the iron age priestesses agreed to gift man with the power of letters, but not the power of the sacred order. Thus letteres are arranged to allow men to communicate, but the order is such as to prevent spells being discovered. I love seeing mythology with similar stories.
We must summon the @3 owls in a coat... with me everyone 3 owls in a coat!!!
Load More Replies...Hello, 3 owls in the raincoat, I am 3 kobolds in a trenchcoat, nice to meet you 😁
hello, 3 kobolds in a trenchcoat, I am 3 dogs in a trenchcoat
Load More Replies...Well, time to say what I always say when this one pops up. I'm actually a bunch of rats operating a human-shaped mech suit.
LOL now all I need is @3 owls in a coat to reply to this and my life will be complete
Load More Replies...OMG! Just what I have been looking for all of my life! Where can I meet you?
Had a young man say that once, only to find out he meant one without stretch marks, etc - and a perfect body. Wish I had sucker punched him.
When you accidentally enter your symptoms into IMDB instead of WebMD and you discover you have a fatal case of Gary Busey.
Imagine referring to a USB dongle by 'dingle' in a business presentation. Do I take the podium today, even though I stopped before 'berry'?
Meanwhile in a parallel universe: Can you imagine how awkward it would be if you went on your pet's phone and found the 1000s of pictures they have of you sleeping.
The doctor lied, I thought we established that last time this very tweet was part of another BP thread.
Why put it there if you don’t want people to tick it? I hardly think a baby’s going to fill in the list
Is it just me or are birthday calls the worst. Like srsly I'm trying to enjoy and then my great aunt who I've never seen in my life calls like nooo i wanna eat cakeeeee
Huh, with my friends if I ask for help studying, they just tell me good luck and walk away laughing
I'm not even on the lease here. I hide in the dryer when the landlord comes
Will do so on my old blog (there’s barely anything in it and I made it when I was 12)
This one actually made me laugh out loud. Which is probably a shout-out to the current state of my mental health.
My neighbors build custom cars for the fun of it, real rich kid stuff, they also put anime stickers on it :P
Imagine instead if it was pronounced Gee-off :) that would be a world I’d like to see
I have a whole closet of clothes. Here is the thing though, I have favorites. I wear one for every day of the week. Less laundry, comfortable, easy!
The fourth one said "Cause we're terrified of what's around the corner" right? RIGHT??
I always heard it "Im driving Ms. Jackson" instead of sorry....
I saw a post about a doc higher up. You might want to check the doc or the nurse for that doc higher up^^! I am sure they will get you back in track. Plus, now in the US, you can dial 988 from any phone and get to someone to talk to! Just saying!!
I have found my new life goal. I shall try this with the dvd cabinet at my friends house.
At least the fire in the cockpit can't travel to your lungs, right...?
What (pls dont get mad at me i dont think I'm dumb but they say apartment more than flat here where i live in the US but maybe im just stupid)
Edgar Allan Poe. Kim Newman wrote a short story about how the imposter Edgar Allen Poe was stalking the author.
Me whenever I justify drinking too much diet soda: water is the first ingredient!
In case no one gets it, he's taking about the lyric in "Seasons of Love" from Rent the musical.
I always knew I should of made the glasses windscreen wipers then. Darn it
Reminds me of Coffee Talk with Linda Richman. "I'm getting verklempt! Talk amongst yourselves. I'll give you a topic, Rhode Island is neither a road nor and island....Discuss!"
Well, it depends on the taste i suppose. I'm fruity and I watch a LOT of musicals.
