50 Of The Most Hilarious Tweets Of All Time That Will Probably Make Your Day

Yes

I'm pretty sure that the coffee myth has been debunked. In 2015/2016, my wife's OB said it was okay to drink caffeine, but maybe not in excess. Alcohol and cigarettes are still a no-go.

Consider having been warned

According to legend the order of the sounds is mystical and powerful. Sections chanted in the right order can move mountains. This knowledge was kept secret by priestesses. I'm only famililiar with Greek and Celtic mythology, but in both sometime around the iron age priestesses agreed to gift man with the power of letters, but not the power of the sacred order. Thus letteres are arranged to allow men to communicate, but the order is such as to prevent spells being discovered. I love seeing mythology with similar stories.

It's official, the Aye's have it! I motion that it passes!

THIS INTERVIEW IS OVER😂

What was the dog doing…

Lettuce pray for this couple.

@3 owls in a coat IS THIS YOU TELL ME THIS IS YOU PLSSS

Cousin It.

I love French Bulldogs. Unfortunately they're $4500. I can literally buy a Tiger for $1000 (USD). Blows my mind that a dog costs 4.5 tigers.

Alternatively: [insert that lion king scene i cant remember lmao]

When you accidentally enter your symptoms into IMDB instead of WebMD and you discover you have a fatal case of Gary Busey.

Water scooter.

Those were the days man

Same thing happened in the chilli asle

Ohhhh, thats evil yet brilliant

Imagine referring to a USB dongle by 'dingle' in a business presentation. Do I take the podium today, even though I stopped before 'berry'?

Crikey Janet.

I wood. He seems to have lost his bark. I'll excuse myself...

That's better than when they become toddlers and then mom and dad end up holding everything the kid doesn't want to hold anymore.

You should see them in the spring when they're let out for the first time of the year!

Meanwhile in a parallel universe: Can you imagine how awkward it would be if you went on your pet's phone and found the 1000s of pictures they have of you sleeping.

The doctor lied, I thought we established that last time this very tweet was part of another BP thread.

I am never going to donate blood again. They claim to be desperate for donors, but all I get are questions like, where did it come from? And why is it in a bucket?

go go gadget stairway railing arm!

Avoiding socializing.

"Hey, I'm Jesus. I love Mike"

Why put it there if you don’t want people to tick it? I hardly think a baby’s going to fill in the list

Bring it on!

Yup.... I may or may not have done a similar thing once....

Ngl, I might watch this.

The turkey's vlog: so guys, **gobble gobble, don't forget to like and subscribe.

It would be a movie without a happy ending

Something in Andy Riley's "Great Lies to Tell Small Children" was like this.

Kid when the turkey goes to the slaughter house:

The Portlandia episode about the chicken named Colin!

This is why it's bad to grow up.

The correct answer is "no, that only works for trees", because you can read a tree's whole life from a slice.

Sounds interesting, but I hope the movie would have subtitles. Because I don't speak TURKish *obnoxious laughter* *knee slap*

THANKSKILLING!!!

He’s not gonna like the ending.

That would be a tragedy son, that will change you forever.

I think your son just came up with a blockbuster vegan children's movie! The guys over at big tofu are gonna go wild over this.

i have seen Courage the cowardly dog doing that

Great imagination 5y.o.!! We all must think this way more often! Plus, might as well try it! The DVD player is about out anyway!

Is it just me or are birthday calls the worst. Like srsly I'm trying to enjoy and then my great aunt who I've never seen in my life calls like nooo i wanna eat cakeeeee

... and they brought beer

Who would have expected that, right?

My name is Wingless Dragonfly and we have never met. Understood?

...a-and....a form....of childbirth...

Fair enough

Genius