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Teachers have extremely difficult jobs. The task of molding students into well-informed, productive citizens is a great deal of responsibility, and educators are rarely appreciated enough for all the work they do. One aspect of the job that isn’t often discussed is how professional they must remain when students do and say ridiculous things.

3 months ago, a member of the Ask Reddit community reached out to pose the question, “Teachers, what was hilarious at the time that you absolutely 100% could not laugh at?” The responses are flooded with times teachers had to stifle laughter to stay professional and protect students' feelings, but thankfully, we don’t have to! We’ve compiled a list of some of the best stories for you to read and reminisce on your school days. Below you'll also find an interview with the Reddit user who originally sparked this conversation.

Then if you’re interested in even more hilarious teacher tales, check out Bored Panda’s last piece on the same topic right here.

#1

Someone Asked Teachers “What Was Hilarious At The Time That You Absolutely 100% Could Not Laugh At?” And Their Responses Did Not Disappoint (30 Stories) I used to teach English to Korean kids. They had to do some writing and one wrote about their pet cat. The family called it pussy. The whole piece was about how much his dad likes pussy.

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Beth S
Community Member
3 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm sure either way the story wasn't wrong. LOL

Random Anon
Community Member
3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I agree. Otherwise the kid wouldn't exist. Or his mom has some explaining to do.

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glowworm2
Community Member
3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

"My dad really enjoys stroking Pussy!"

Seán Baron
Community Member
Premium
3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Daddy likes to feed pussy!

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T. D. Bostick
Community Member
3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm not sure that kid needed English lessons.

Terri Alyea
Community Member
3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My brother had to write a story in first grade about his favorite pet I'm 20 years older he was a surprise anyhow our cat was named prissy so while in school he writes this story about how he loves to kiss pussy and pet pussy and play with pussy and he just loves pussy so much teacher called my mom to school and I went with we all just about died laughing the teacher knew what he meant she just wanted to see my moms reaction it was f*****g hilarious it's been 15 years and we still bring it up

That emo Girl
Community Member
2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

IM DYING IN THE INSIDE NOW 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

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Zophra
Community Member
3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My cat just rolled her eyes.I think she was also reading while on my lap.

PandaGoPanda
Community Member
3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Pussy is a slang term for a cat in the UK

That emo Girl
Community Member
2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm British and it also means something else........

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TheHiveGuardian
Community Member
3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Wonder if he likes eating pussy 🤔

Bender Bending Rodríguez
Community Member
3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This comment is blurring the line between racial stereotype and sexual innuendo.

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We reached out to Smoke1000Blunts on Reddit to hear what originally sparked this conversation, and he told us, "I was inspired to ask that question because I was genuinely curious what kind of craziness the average teacher must see on a daily basis. Teachers are expected to be above it all, but surely a side of them is human enough to see the humor in a lot those crazy moments!" He went on to explain, "I am not a teacher; however, my sister is one. She has a lot of crazy stories about parents mainly."

On that note, he mentions that, "Irrational parents are one of if not the hardest thing to deal with as a teacher." He also says that "the encroachment on personal life" that comes along with teaching must be tough too. Lastly, we asked if he would like to say anything to the teachers he had growing up. "I was actually homeschooled up until high school, but as I grow older more and more I see the time they invest into their job, and to do it well. I would just say 'thank you' including my mom."

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    #2

    don't know how my teacher kept a straight face on this tbh.... history teacher would always say "let's get quizzical" when we had a quiz. one day we had a test so my friend raised his hand "oh Mr m don't you mean 'let's get testical'?" teacher just said " you can do that on your own time Brian" as our 8th grade class lost our s**t.

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    Aisling Raye
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Well now the ONJ song is going to be in my head all day lol

    Bunnie Elyse
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Dammit Brian, not in school 😆

    Kusotare
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I bet Mr. m had that one queued up and ready to go, possibly for years.

    Robert Trebor
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Quick wits on both sides of that exchange

    Shelly Graham
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Sex Ed Sophomore Year, teacher asks what are ways to prevent pregnancy; so us students started giving answers, i.e.; condoms, birth control, etc. then Holly yells out, "Pull it & Pray"! Now I'm not a priss, but I'd never heard this before, I guess the expression on my face was priceless because they've never let me forget it, this was over 40 years ago!

    Sparkle_Queen
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Please not in school 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

    Jaxx Roa
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My friend at school asked the new kid in our class who transferred from India “if quizzes are quizzical what are tests” and he answer proudly and loudly in front of the whole class “tEsTiCaL” and our ‘mature’ eighth grade class died. Right there in their own seats Lmao

    Phoebe Stein
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That kid is going places in comedy XD

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    The experience of teaching can be vastly different depending on the school, the age group and the subject being taught. I actually have taught many theatre and art classes for ages ranging from 5-14, so I have made many observations about students. One thing to know is that their level of sweetness tends to dissipate as they get older, and their level of sass tends to exponentially increase with age. Young children are so confident when trying new things and much less scared of failure than older students. Once kids reach their pre-teen and teen years, they often develop debilitating insecurities and become embarrassed easily. Yet somehow they still have the energy to make fun of teachers to try to seem cool…

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    Many of the stories on this list come from children who are still young enough that curiosity just flows freely out of their mouths without any second thoughts of judgment. And while it’s wonderful that these teachers were able to keep their composure enough to respond to students’ questions and concerns professionally, I’m also glad we now get to enjoy these stories. And remember, there is no such thing as a stupid question

    #3

    Someone Asked Teachers “What Was Hilarious At The Time That You Absolutely 100% Could Not Laugh At?” And Their Responses Did Not Disappoint (30 Stories) I used to teach 3rd graders (non-native English), and one time one of them ran up to me to tattle on his classmate and said "Teacher, Teacher, Tunwa just said 'F**K YOU!'!!", so Tunwa, who was running behind him goes "No teacher, no!! I only said 'F**K' I didn't say *looks around and starts to whisper* '...you...'" I was like, "No, no! That's not the bad word, it's the other one!", but I was dying, I had to turn around and go laugh behind a corner.

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    Andy Acceber
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That is hilarious. I remember when the word "damn" was first allowed on the radio but for some reason "god dammit" was not. Some stations would bleep "god" but keep the "dammit" which I thought was the funniest thing. (I've also heard it on TV with s**t and b******t. Bleeping the "bull" is hilarious.)

    Spikey boi
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I've heard it with a*****e as well. They bleep "hole"

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    Kim Price
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    As a high school teacher, it’s the “you” that makes me scold for real. It means you’re swearing *at* someone. Just “f*” means you dropped your phone or barked your kneecap and need a lukewarm scold w/a dash of sympathy.

    Busy Panda
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    A lukewarm scold, with a dash of sympathy. I like this recipe...

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    Lily and Artie
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My brother and I went to a liquor store with our dad and there was a beer called Tropical B*itch. For a long time after my brother legit thought tropical was the t-word. He was four or something

    Charlie tressler
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "Dad is s***ting bricks" "You shouldn't say that" "Sorry, s***ting rocks" -Christmas Vacation

    Philly Bob Squires
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Kids are like tape recorders.... my brother in law, every time he'd hear some idiot outside revving his engine, would say "A s s h o l e! One day my 2 year old niece heard a car engine rev and immediately yelled out "a s s h o l e!" My sister and I were trying not to laugh and my BIL was just standing there knowing...

    Niall Mac Iomera
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Perfectly illustrates how arbitrary and ridiculous the concept of swearing is.

    Alicia GriffonLady
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I remember learning some choice words in 2nd grade. I'd repeat then to make other's laugh but of course one lil ahole had to tattle. I didn't even know what those words meant. Turns out they were just synonyms for poop... why such a big deal over poop?

    Vicki Brown
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    well, it's the phrase, nit the individual word.

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    Considering how difficult their jobs are, I think teachers deserve to be in a classroom full of tiny stand-up comedians each day. Insider published a piece in 2019 titled “Public-school teachers reveal the 7 hardest things about their job”, and it certainly helps those of us with other professions understand the challenges of teaching. One difficulty many teachers note is the emotional burden of being a teacher. Sometimes, teachers spend more hours in a day with students than their own parents do. So when kids are dealing with a lot at home, teachers are often their only sources of emotional support. One teacher told Insider, “We expect them to come to school and behave a certain way and focus on very abstract things, but many of them are living with so much stress and trauma. For some students, school is the safest, sanest place in their life."

    #4

    Someone Asked Teachers “What Was Hilarious At The Time That You Absolutely 100% Could Not Laugh At?” And Their Responses Did Not Disappoint (30 Stories) Teacher hears a girl's phone vibrating in her purse and says "I hope that is a phone." Teacher walks another two steps and realizes what she just said. Class erupts in laughter.

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    Paul C.
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Teacher, oh cr@p did I just say that out loud?

    TheHiveGuardian
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I always put my vibrator on silent

    Beth S
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Hahahahahaha! Yes, lets hope so.

    June’s Very Own
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Way to put her on the spot smh 🤦‍♀️ lol

    Evelyn Ann
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Not at school but at home i kept hearing a weird repetitive noise in intervals. Looked everywhere. Checked my phones, unused tablet, everything. Finally had to enlist my roommate to help, was convinced it was coming from basement or upstairs neighbor but wanted to pinpoint noise first. He found it almost right away- in a kitchen cupboard i had a "toy" i had bought for a poly relationship i was in before covid and had forgotten about. One of the cats turned it on when hiding in cupboard xD was absolutely dying laughing and was very glad i hadn't called maintenance man

    Bill Cipher
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That's an inappropriate thing for an adult to tell a child.

    anime girl
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Help me I don’t understand

    Jessica N
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Insinuated that it was a vibrator (a personal pleasure device)

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    Teachers also note dealing with difficult parents as another challenge of the job. Parents often deny that their kids would misbehave in class and sometimes blame the teachers. Standardized tests are another factor that puts pressure on educators. Curriculums are based around standardized tests, which limit teachers’ freedom in their own classrooms. “I would have to say that the most frustrating part of teaching would be all of the testing," one elementary school teacher told Insider. "It won't let kids be kids and it seems as if you are always doing it." These exams put pressure on students as well, having the power to hold kids back a year if they don’t perform well on the tests.

    #5

    Two middle school boys came to to me to tell me they were calling themselves “eunuchs”. Startled I just asked “excuse me?” They went on to explain that eunuch was short for “unique”. So I wrote the word down on a piece of paper and told them to go look it up in the dictionary and suggested they not call themselves that out loud anymore. So they go to the dictionary, find the word and very loudly ask “what’s castrated mean?” After they looked it up they couldn’t look me in the face for a couple days but it was my favorite day ever.

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    Robert T
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Eunuchs is a computer operating system. ;-)

    glowworm2
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Looks like they learned two new words that day.

    Debra Robinson
    Community Member
    3 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    What's even funnier is that they really consider it a shorter word.

    Katy McMouse
    Community Member
    Premium
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I used to think eunuch was the fancy french word for unique. Where ten year old me got this idea I'll never know.

    Mathieu Brouwers
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    In the past there were many eunuchs to guard the harams in the arab world. These men had not been castrated on purpose, but were unlucky after the circumcision.

    Curry on...
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I had this happen in two of my ESL adult classes. As a matter of fact, I wrote about it online. Hmm...did someone 'steal' my story?

    R
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I knew what both eunuch and castrated meant, and how to spell them, by first grade. Most of today's students can neither write nor speak properly. What a sad difference a generation made.

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    #6

    Someone Asked Teachers “What Was Hilarious At The Time That You Absolutely 100% Could Not Laugh At?” And Their Responses Did Not Disappoint (30 Stories) Two 8-year-olds got into a tiff. Kid #1 got mad at kid #2. In typical 8-year-old fashion, kid #1 told kid #2, “I’m not your friend any more and you’re not invited to any more of my birthday parties.” Kid #2 responded, “I only went to your party for the cake.”

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    Beth S
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Cake IS an excellent motivator.

    Immortal Emperor Paradox
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It seems we have a new troublemaker here: "Protogent person".

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    Katy McMouse
    Community Member
    Premium
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Kid #2 is going to go far in life.

    iBlank
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    perhaps a professional wedding and birthday crasher

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    Lastly, teachers tend to be overworked and underpaid. Grading papers and making lesson plans are just a couple examples of teachers’ responsibilities that often can’t be accomplished during the time they are actually in the classroom. And teachers receive notoriously low salaries. One teacher from Virginia told Insider, “The last time I checked, we are ranked 38th in the nation when it comes to teacher pay. My district froze my steps for seven years when the Great Recession hit. I should be making at least $12,000 to $15,000 more today based on the scale that I agreed to when I first started teaching. Instead, all we get are 1% or 2% raises here and there. I had to short sell my house, which was extremely difficult on my children." Though they love their students, teachers should be valued and cherished by their communities. That should start with receiving proper compensation.

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    #7

    Someone Asked Teachers “What Was Hilarious At The Time That You Absolutely 100% Could Not Laugh At?” And Their Responses Did Not Disappoint (30 Stories) I asked my kindergartners if anyone knew what a period was (while teaching sentence punctuation) and one boy enthusiastically says “yeah, my mom has them in the bathroom!!”

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    Turt_Le
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    We call that a full stop.

    Zophra
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I think that actually is a positive thing that a boy is open enough with this knowledge in a matter-of-fact way.

    glowworm2
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Same, and he wasn't grossed out and described it appropriately.

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    glowworm2
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The best part is that normally, this question and answer goes the other way around. The kid definitely isn't wrong though and kudos for his mother actually explaining this to him rather then trying to hide it.

    similarly
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    As a teacher, my response would be "Very good. That's one kind. In language and writing, what's a period?"

    Cal the dragon!
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    mine would be "That's a variety of pain, what is the punctuation?"

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    Bunnie Elyse
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I mean, good on his mom for talking to him about it, I guess

    Mark Howell
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My late aunt taught 6-7 yo and once asked them to write about what they did at the weekend. One child wrote that her and her brother didn't do much because their parents were having sex. She showed the paarent the piece on parents day, both parents went red apparently. ;o)

    jeff adams
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    When my daughter was in day care, someone called another a dope. My daughter piped up "Dope? My daddy smokes dope!""

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    #8

    Someone Asked Teachers “What Was Hilarious At The Time That You Absolutely 100% Could Not Laugh At?” And Their Responses Did Not Disappoint (30 Stories) I’m a history teacher. We were looking in the textbook at a section on the founding fathers. Several of them had their own subheadings and a little paragraph about them. Like this: George Washington (1732-1799) Thomas Jefferson (1743-1826) Benjamin Franklin (1707-1790) I then have a student raise their hand and ask, completely serious, “If you call these numbers, do they still work?” She thought their birth and death dates were their phone numbers. I teach high school, the class lost their s**t, and it took everything in me to keep a straight face.

    snapdown91 Report

    June’s Very Own
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    High school? That kind of stupidity is concerning lmao

    Black Pearl
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm in high school and honestly this is the kind of joke kids would make, but like if it's legit then that's so concerning

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    Debbie
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Brain fart moment, happens to all of us.

    Lingo Lingo
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Sometimes I wonder if its a very deep irony that people don`t get... because this is the problem with being ironic: when people don't understand, you end like a stupid person

    That emo Girl
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    SOMEONE wasn't using their brain for a second

    Ambry Petersen
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I could not have kept a straight face.

    Dani R
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    No hope for the coming generation

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    #9

    Student - Alaska is a state? Are you sure? It doesn’t even touch the states… Me - Yes, I’m sure. Student - I need to look this up to be sure. Me - You really don’t, but go ahead. Student 2 - wait, states don’t have to touch? Does that mean Hawaii is a state. Student 3 - What about New Mexico? I teach high school.

    vogairian Report

    Beth S
    Community Member
    3 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My son was born in 2001. When he was in 8th or 9th grade on September 11, I mentioned that I was feeling sad that day. He seemed really confused and after I asked him some questions I realized he had never been taught in his school about what happened that day. I was shocked shitless. Immediately I sat him down and educated him about the things that happened on September 11, 2001.

    Sanchi Shiva
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Odd… my school told us about it and repeats it every year. On 9/11. Oh well. For the folks who haven’t hear of it, it is a big terrorist attack on America where three planes were hijacked by Al kieda and two hit both the twin towers, NY, and another hit the pentagon. A forth one was hijacked but retrieved by the passengers, and they crashed it in a field in Pensilvania. No one on the four planes survived. Both the twin towers crashed down and sent dust through the city. Now there is one World Trade Center there, and the pentagon was rebuilt.

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    LeighAnne Brown-Pedersen
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Wait till they find out New Mexico touches other states AND old Mexico.

    Kusotare
    Community Member
    3 years ago

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    It's just "Mexico". Nobody calls York "Old York", or Jersey "Old Jersey" or Amsterdam "Old Amsterdam".

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    Zophra
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I had several students who sadly thought "Africa" was a country. :(

    Pheonixvatoreii
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I remember having kids in my class who thought the UK was a country...while literally living in England!

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    Andy Acceber
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Never tell a student not to look something up. The key to education is teaching kids how to learn. If they want to look something up, that's wonderful! That's exactly what good educators want them to do.

    James Tomlinson
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    There was a case at the DMV of transferring an out of State Driver's License to Washington DC. The DMV person would not accept the New Mexico license because they did not take licenses from other countries. It took going to a supervisor as the DMV person refused to accept the license.

    Robert Trebor
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    A phoneperson for the Atlanta Olympics ticket line told a person calling from New Mexico that they had to get tickets through their national organization.

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    Marco Hub-Dub
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The very last line is sad. Especially because “college” could have easily been substituted and it would be believable still.

    Mistletoe
    Community Member
    3 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I KNOW that 9/11 is not taught as part of the curriculum- at least in my district)!!!!! How has this happened??? We want to teach that white history is wrong but we neglect - or purposely leave out - one of the most important days in our country’s history!!!

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    Nikki Sevven
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This isn't funny; it's depressing.

    Chris Osborn
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    These are our future leaders, that's depressing!

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    Kyndra Krontz
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    How are people in middle school and don't know that? My 3rd grade little sister knows that...

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    Being a teacher isn’t all bad though. While it is not the path for everyone, being an educator can be extremely rewarding. One of the main reasons most teachers pursued the career in the first place is because they are passionate about making a difference in the lives of others. While every young person passes through the school system, teachers have amazing opportunities to demonstrate important values and imprint lifelong knowledge into the minds of youths. I think everyone remembers an exceptional teacher they had that really inspired them or encouraged them to pursue their passions. Teachers also have the change to open students up to new perspectives that they might not be exposed to at home.   

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    #10

    Someone Asked Teachers “What Was Hilarious At The Time That You Absolutely 100% Could Not Laugh At?” And Their Responses Did Not Disappoint (30 Stories) Field trip instructor. I was leading a discussion on food chains with some 4th graders and asked what we call animals that only eat plants. The answer I got was virgins. Edit: I heard a lot of funny things in that job. The other funniest one was when I was going over cardinal directions with 2nd graders. I had them all chanting "never eat soggy waffles" or "sour worms" or whatever they liked to say, and just as they all quiet down one of them says "never eat Santa's wife". That was the only time in 7 years working with kids that I completely lost it in front of a classroom, children teachers and parents. It took me about 30 seconds to regain composure, and even then I kept cracking up through the rest of the lesson. The kids thought it was funny because it was silly, the parents knew why I really thought it was so funny.

    Evolving_Dore , National Cancer Institute Report

    Biofish23
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Now I know why my kid came home from school chanting Never Eat Soggy Waffles, thanks

    Robert T
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    We always used "Never Eat Shredded Wheat". It's less funny, but easier to remember because it rhymes.

    Huddo's sister
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    We say Never Eat Soggy Weet-bix in Australia, but I like your version, because I would eat soggy weet-bix :)

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    Rose Button 🇺🇦
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm now officaly using "Never Eat Santa's Wife" because that would be rude.

    Niall Mac Iomera
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    When I was a kid it was "Never Entertain Sexy Women" XD

    glowworm2
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Well, that's certainly one way to remember the cardinal directions.

    That emo Girl
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    'never eat Santa's wife' made me die lol

    Phoebe Stein
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    If it was me in 4th grade making the jokes, I would know :D

    Tim B
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I call animals that eat only plants food!

    girlsrock4ever
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Took me a while for the second one... ah, to be an innocent kid again...

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    #11

    Someone Asked Teachers “What Was Hilarious At The Time That You Absolutely 100% Could Not Laugh At?” And Their Responses Did Not Disappoint (30 Stories) When I taught first grade kid #1 says kid #2 said the B word. I inquired what was the B word? Kid #1 says Bagina. Had to clench my teeth together to keep from laughing.

    CA_catwhispurr Report

    June’s Very Own
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The B word? I think he means bagels 🥯

    Dawn ;)))
    Community Member
    3 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Daaang, bored panda is slacking with its censoring

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    Vorknkx
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Reminds me of a certain Seinfeld episode where he thought a woman was named "Mulva."

    Elizaa Spooks
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I can hear it now. "Delores?!?!? What rhymes with Delores!!!!"

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    Eastendbird
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Had a similar thing happen to me: Kid 1: Kid 2 called me the R word! Me: (wanting to be sure) Can you tell me exactly what he said? Kid 1: (whispering) Arsehole.

    elmortero
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Well, if the kid speaks Spanish at home it is still valid (or should I say Balid?)

    Vicki Brown
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I had a third-grade student confide in me that another student had said the "S" word. In third grade, the "S" word is "stupid".

    Jaekry
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Bagina is not an bad idea for a new word actually

    Bill Cipher
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My 5-year-old brother thought that the word for "vagina" was "bagina" and he kept yelling it in the streets to p--s me off.

    Ambry Petersen
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    In his defense the b and v sounds are somewhat similar.

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    #12

    Someone Asked Teachers “What Was Hilarious At The Time That You Absolutely 100% Could Not Laugh At?” And Their Responses Did Not Disappoint (30 Stories) We were doing a lab testing density of objects - including wooden, rubber, and styrofoam balls. In the middle of class a student loudly yells out, “Stop touching my balls!” I legitimately couldn’t breathe for a minute.

    AJEstes Report

    June’s Very Own
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Imagine the face drop the teacher would have had if the kid meant their real balls. 😂 🤣………😮😧🤭

    Kel_how
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Welp, we generally send the offender to the hallway and have a talk about keeping their hands to themselves. In some cases, we send to the counselor in case the kid is being sexually abused.

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    KT
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I once was trying to get the 4 yr old I nanny'd not to overflow his milk onto the table by blowing through his straw. He stated blowing again and I said stop please. He asked how I knew what he was doing and I said I know the difference between a suck and a blow. Cue the uncontrollable snort laughing from his mom in the kitchen.

    glowworm2
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Hopefully, there weren't any blue ones!

    Henry Russell
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    all boys in sixth grade are like that

    Jane
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I’m in 6 grade and people say this all the time and at this point it’s just annoying, but, depending on the occasion, it can be funny.

    potato
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    stop touching his balls then!

    Sparkle_Queen
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I can't🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

    Frostfirefox919
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    FYI Bored Panda it is foam balls- like big q-tips

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    According to the University of Kansas, another perk of becoming a teacher is the variety each day includes. Rather than simply sitting at a desk and typing on a computer, teachers get to really interact with students and provide a space for new ideas and creativity to flourish. Even if a teacher is dedicated to one topic, each class will share different ideas and perspectives. Compared to many other jobs, teachers get to see a wide variety of people each day and form relationships with them. Seeing students experience “lightbulb moments” and watching their progress throughout a semester are great motivators for many educators.

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    #13

    Someone Asked Teachers “What Was Hilarious At The Time That You Absolutely 100% Could Not Laugh At?” And Their Responses Did Not Disappoint (30 Stories) I was helping a third grader who didn't want to work on his subtraction of three digit numbers that required borrowing. I told him, "Fine. Never learn to do this. Then I'm going to open a store that sells things you absolutely love, and when you give me your money, I'll just randomly hand you back change that is less than you should actually get because you can't do the math to figure it out...so I'll just take all your money." He looked at me dead in the eyes for a few seconds before stating, "That's b******t." I had to hold back laughter for about a good 20 seconds before I could reply, "You're right, so learn to do addition and subtraction and you won't have to worry about it."

    DawgHogger33 Report

    Sarah Brown
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    But did he get in trouble for cursing? 😂

    Ambry Petersen
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    There are highschoolers in fast food places who can't count change. If we had more teachers like him we wouldn't have that problem.

    Camden Gorman
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That is just mean in a kids he actually it is just priceless

    jeff adams
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My mom (a Math teacher) told me this little trick that really helped me: Instead of "borrowing". just add 1 to the lower number in the column to the left.

    That emo Girl
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It's goatshite, I think you'll find

    Key Martin
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    You are absolutely brilliant. Well done!

    Brandi VanSteenwyk
    Community Member
    2 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Good answer to both statements of the 3 grader (spoken and not).

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    #14

    In a freshmen history class you hear a lot of cursing. I usually let it go but if I heard “f**k” too loudly I would call them out and make them give me another word instead. This kid looked at me totally panicked for several seconds before loudly blurting out “BISCUITS!” The whole class got a kick out it and the rest of the year they used the word biscuits in place of various curse words. They got very creative lol.

    Commander_Fem_Shep Report

    Uber Mensch
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Know what you call someone that stirs cement with an eating utensil? A mortar forker.

    MCMLXXIII
    Community Member
    3 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I was counting cigarettes at work one night. I usually didn't screw up and I could keep track of what was being sold, and he therapy what was going on around me.. For some reason I lost count on a rack that I was about 200 into. I knew there were only three customers in the store at the time, and they were back by the cooler. I yelled, "Son of a Bunny" in frustration. All I hear is, "that's a new one!" as three old ladies lost their sh!t laughing.

    Mary Jeffries
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My grandmother would say “son of a burnt biscuit eater.” I still love that phrase

    Kiss Army
    Community Member
    Premium
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I use that phrase all the time minus the word burnt.

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    Silvanus Perez
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yeah thats funny we used S**T...take mushrooms

    Ria C.
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    We use "son a biscuit eater" and "son of a motherless goat" just to name a couple.

    Theresa Walker
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    They should watch M*A*S*H with Harry Morgan as Col. Potter. Then they'll learn better words to use instead of swear-words.

    Val Peveto
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I grew up in a foster home where my farm chore allowance was dock for swear words. I swear like a sailor and to this day half of what comes out is flutter butts, Bisquick, hairy apples... Completely nonsense but didn't get in trouble lol

    Elizabeth VanDyke
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I use son of a seasick sea serpent. I don't remember when I first heard it, but it has stuck with me for years. And Jesus Christ on a ten-speed.

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    PR0564
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This doesn't sound biscuiting true

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    #15

    After school program staff here. Keep in mind this is a middle school. One day a student was standing next to me as I was taking attendance. Usually I had my kids line up on the basketball court while I did this. When I finished I turned to the kid and said "Let's roll." And started walking. As I approached my line I heard him yell behind me. I turned to see him ROLLING ON THE FLOOR LIKE A ROTISSERIE HOTDOG. He looked up at me with the most stern face and said "You said to roll!" Why yes ...yes I did Daniel.

    PraedythValentine Report

    NatureBoy6284
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "Rolling on the floor like a rotisserie hotdog." I never thought I'd ever hear that sentence in my life, but now I have.

    glowworm2
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Reminds me of the time my boyfriend was substitute teaching 4th graders and one little girl was putting away her crayons in her backpack. He told her that he needed her to "hop back to her seat." The girl then promptly hopped back to her seat like a bunny.

    thEBOrdeSTpaNDA
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    couples therapy: therapist "what brings you here today?" . . . wife "he's too literal" . . . therapist "Ok, understandable," (talking to the husband) "What about you?" . . . husband "my truck"

    Alex The Fanperson
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Censor fairy died. Would I happen to be that friend?

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    Mikey Kliss
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I didnt know what dribbling a basketball meant when I was in elementary school and thought the teacher was asking me to drool.

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    Some other perks of being a teacher are the job security and vacations. Well-trained and qualified teachers are always in high demand, and as the University of Kansas mentions, mobility in the field is also common. One can begin as a teacher and work their way up to an administrative position or even a social worker, if those paths seem more appealing. Those who work in schools are also provided excellent vacation times, usually with a significant chunk off in the summer months and a gap over the holidays as well. Being able to take time off provides educators with opportunities for rest and to enjoy some quality time with loved ones.

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    #16

    Someone Asked Teachers “What Was Hilarious At The Time That You Absolutely 100% Could Not Laugh At?” And Their Responses Did Not Disappoint (30 Stories) The time a fourth grader asked me to show him my dong. Loudly. In front of his entire class. I’m a music teacher. And a female. He meant he wanted to see a gong.

    urbancowgirl42 Report

    Robert T
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    If he'd said "bong", would you have had one to show?

    Christina Hill
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This reminds me of the time my friends 4yr old asked my husband to bring his p****r out. She had just learned about wood peckers and we had cockatiels she loved to visit.

    Troy Parr
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Don't gongs go dong? or is it more like a bong?

    Sparkle_Queen
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 I really hope he meant gong

    Amanda Hunter
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'd loved to have seen your expression.

    Adrienne Mcginley
    Community Member
    3 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I have one, Paiste brand, about 36" across. Friend had no idea that they can be played like any other percussion instrument.

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    #17

    Someone Asked Teachers “What Was Hilarious At The Time That You Absolutely 100% Could Not Laugh At?” And Their Responses Did Not Disappoint (30 Stories) Kids were on laptops and one group was talking about life of Brian and of course biggus d**kus. Kid 1 "Google it, Google it, it's really funny!" Kid 2 "But won't it be rude?" Kid 1 "no, it's old and funny and no swearing so it's fine" A few seconds later manic screaming from kid 2. He had instead googled big d**k. We all had a good laugh at his misfortune in the staff room.

    garrywarry Report

    Robert T
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "He's not the Messiah. He's a very naughty boy!" ;=)

    Beth S
    Community Member
    3 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Got to love Terry Jones! Well actually Monty Python in general. LOL

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    Beth S
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Ooof. Well that is most unfortunate. LOL

    tmw
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    how did either of those get thru the school's firewall/ net filter thing?

    glowworm2
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    When I was in seventh grade, I accidentally put in the address for a porn website while in computer class because I thought "girls.com" would be something more teenage girl related. Yes, it showed up.

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    June’s Very Own
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The poor kid, scarred for life they would be

    LilliVB
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    For me, as English is not my first language, is difficult with all the BP censorship. I can't figure out what the intended word is sometimes, so I don't understand. Really annoying.

    Alicia GriffonLady
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Do find it risible when i sayy the wooords.... biggus ... dickus? (Snorts and giggles in background)

    Cuppa tea?
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Oh, just F* off! Tell us, tell us, how shall we F* off?

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    #18

    Not a teacher. All names changed for privacy reasons. In high school we had one kid, let's call him Tony. Tony was your typical emo kid, but one time he came to class stoned out of his goddamn mind. I'm talking your stereotypical bloodshot eyes, cagey anxious, reeks of pot kind of stoned. He sits down, and I just look at him, shake my head, and whisper "dude, are you serious?" He immediately realises that its plain as day, and kinda pathetically whines "please don't tell Mr. Andrews". Now, Mr. Andrews was a former decently high ranking military officer who turned to teaching WWII history and Civics. Awesome dude, sharp as a tack. He was the kind of teacher that would go the extra mile to help you with anything, so long as you kept it straight with him. Amazing sense of humour. Anyway, Mr. Andrews walks into class, and his eyes furrow, and its obvious he can smell the pot emanating from poor Tony, but plays it cool. Mr. Andrews isn't stupid, and knows what some teens gets up to. Unless you're rude with him, he'll enact his punishments by playing mind games. He called on Tony for every single damn question he was asking the class, doing his best not to smile too much, and we were ALL collectively holding in our laughter. Poor Tony was a deer in headlights. It was beautiful to watch. Eventually, it's near the end of class, and Mr. Andrews is wrapping up the day's lesson, and turns to face the class, looking at Tony. "Now, I know we've all had a bunch of fun today, but I want to make it abundantly clear. I get it, I was your age too, and I'm not going to lie and say that I'm immune from the allure of a nice relaxing evening every so often. " He also pulled Tony aside after class and apparently told him that school rules mean he has to report it to the school resource officer by the end of the day, and that it would be very unfortunate for there to be any evidence of his wrongdoing in his locker. Love that teacher. Edit: fixed names

    DarkestEmber Report

    Jaekry
    Community Member
    3 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This. Teenagers fck up. Sometimes it's just a that one fck up. Give another direction and hope for the best.

    Mikey Kliss
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    In HS, one of my teachers never showed up for class one day. We being rowdy kids decided to dare one of the classmates to draw a penis on the chalkboard. After he did, the principal came in to lecture us about not telling the front office about the missing teacher. He lectured us for over 5 mins, never once looking at the board. He then dismissed us (we rushed out of there) and I glanced back just in time to see him look at the board and wince

    Anine C
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Art class, my friend Paul showed up high as a kite on mushrooms. Teacher noticed, and without saying a word, just changed assignment to model sketching with Paul as the model. He had to sit in the center of the room for an hour with everyone drawing him. Teacher even arranged easels so they were all slightly angled toward him so he could see the sketches of himself as they progressed.

    Omiyaru
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Respect for Mr Andrews for being that teacher who knows how to address a situation with a bit of passive aggressive compassion.

    Bunnie Elyse
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I love this so much! The teacher didn't just ASSUME the kid was a bad kid. Who knows what this kid was really going thru in his personal life <3 or.... maybe he was just an innocent stoner 😆

    SpunkyPi
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    When did emo become synonymous with drugs?

    OSKNILLAB
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    When someone becomes an adult they forget what it is like to be a kid

    Gladys Hayes Southerland
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Tony will never forget that class or the teacher. bravo

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    It’s long been known that children are innate comedians. Just look at the success of the 1990’s television show Kids Say The Darndest Things, which featured a host posing questions about life topics to children and the kids sharing their own creative (and unintentionally hilarious) perspectives. Perhaps part of the reason we find children so funny, when they are just sharing their thoughts, is because they repeat what they hear adults say. Certain things just are a lot less funny when coming out of the mouths of grown ups. For example, one time when I was babysitting a 4-year-old girl, we started jumping on her trampoline. She was having a great time, so she told me, “Wow! I haven’t had this much fun in years!” …..Well, yeah. “You’ve only been alive for 4, and I doubt you remember the first 2 very well,” I thought. But I found her hilarious, and she was only sharing a sincere thought. 

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    #19

    Someone Asked Teachers “What Was Hilarious At The Time That You Absolutely 100% Could Not Laugh At?” And Their Responses Did Not Disappoint (30 Stories) I had a kid who got extremely angry because I told him that he couldn’t do something (don’t remember what). He started stomping and screaming and became so angry that he dropped his pants and stood there in his underwear glaring at me. I wanted to laugh so bad but it would have just pissed him off more and that would not have helped the situation.

    talibob Report

    June’s Very Own
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Props to the teacher for not laughing. I would have died then and there 🤣

    Monic Krugell
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I would have been the teacher who went "see you had such bad manners and now everyone can see your undies!"

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    Andy Acceber
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Imagine if that was still an appropriate way for adults to behave. Board meetings would be hilarious.

    Zophra
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I would enjoy meetings more with this lively entertainment.

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    The Deez
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This story would be even funnier if it ended with "...I teach high school." LOL!

    Wondering Alice
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Had a 5 year old boy once pull up his shirt and rub his nipple with a look on his face that suggested he thought it was very naughty just as the head walked in. The head told him off and asked me to step outside. Took us ages to stop laughing.

    Shelley Barrows
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Kid probably just watched the Adam Sandler movie 'Little Nicky"....

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    Dennis McMahon
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm in my 40's and that still works. Nobody wants to argue with an angry, pantless guy staring at them. Walmart here I come..... would probably just be 3rd weirdest thing they've seen today.

    Wonderful
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I’m a tattoo artist and one day a girl and her mom came in to get the girl a tattoo. The girl was clearly underage and thought bringing her mom would make it ok for her to get a tattoo. I told her sorry but no matter what you have to be at least 18 years old (in Texas) to get a tattoo. She threw a fit. Not just wailing and crying but also throwing herself on the floor and kicking. Her mom kept going on and on about how it’s ok let’s go shopping, we can go out to eat at the place you like. Basically mom was doing the exact opposite of what a parent should be doing with a 16 year old having a temper tantrum. Everyone in the shop were just laughing our asses off and my coworker told her if she held her breath and pulled her hair she would get the reward for biggest baby and still no tattoo. A client in the chair getting tattooed asked if she needed a bottle of milk and a nap? Eventually the girl got up and stomped outside to continue fit throwing while mom followed. Fun 🙃

    MuddyPuddles
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    so angry he dropped his pants HAHAHAHA

    Ashley Spurlock
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    After that did he roll around like a rotisserie hotdog??

    Andie
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm a teacher. For some reason this is very common. Especially in boys. Being told "no", makes them get angry and start stripping. I think it's because it's something they can control. But having shoes/socks/shirt/pants thrown at you is very odd. Luckily I haven't had one toss the underwear too.

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    #20

    Someone Asked Teachers “What Was Hilarious At The Time That You Absolutely 100% Could Not Laugh At?” And Their Responses Did Not Disappoint (30 Stories) 5 year old starts randomly bawling. Quite concerned, I rush over and ask what's wrong. She holds up a single hair and says her hair is falling out and she's going bald. I had to explain that hair falls out naturally but new hair takes it's place.

    snoobsnob Report

    Ana Ferreira
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Once had a 5th grader bawling in class. A group of his classmates were trying to comfort him, and one of them goes: "You're too young, they can't arrest you." Turns out he had buttdialed the emergency number and was convinced he was going to jail for contacting emergency services unecessarily (which can happen, but not in those circumstances).

    MadameTwoSwords
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Why on earth did someone that young have a phone at all..... and in class??

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    June’s Very Own
    Community Member
    3 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Phew, I thought I was the only one who thought that lol jk

    Monic Krugell
    Community Member
    3 years ago

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    Shame its any little girl's worst nightmare!

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    #21

    I was on cafeteria duty in my high schooland one table was starting to throw stuff so I went over to tell them to stop. They did, but to be annoying, they started pretending to throw stuff. I gave them a look and they started pointing at a girl at their table who was just quietly eating her lunch, shouting "she's throwing stuff! Kick her out of here!" Before I could say tell her that I obviously know she wasn't doing anything, she stands up indignantly and says "no! I'm just SITTING here, trying to EAT MY SALAD!" She just sounded so offended at being accused, she was so indignant. I lost it, to the point where I had to walk away because I was laughing so hard. The kids were like "Um, is he ok? I think we broke him." By the time I regained my composure, I just walked back and told her that I know she didn't do anything. Sometimes she'll still come up to me in the halls and be like "hey Mr. G, guess what I have for lunch? I'm gonna be sitting there, trying to eat my salad!"

    Gneissisnice Report

    Chinmayee Kalghatgi
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I’m exactly like that girl. In real life if somebody accused me of something and I didn’t do it I’d be yelling my head off about how innocent I am.

    Wolfe
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    my biggest pet peeve is false accusation. It literally gives me anxiety.the Harry Potter series (especially Umbridge) was a struggle.

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    June’s Very Own
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    “I think we broke him” had my dying 😂

    Cindy Byers
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I was once accused of being, out of the blue, racist. I proceeded to remind the person that he did not have any friends that were not white.

    ArodTheHorrible
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I think this is funny for two reasons

    Needmorecowbell
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yea I think this went over a lot of folks’ heads!

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    SkekVi
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Y'all gonna just accuse her in front of her salad like that? XD

    Sinnsyk Jakte
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I would've been the one in trouble for snarling at the kids making actual trouble and accusing that girl. ...'cause that's who I was and still am.

    Ambry Petersen
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Lol it became an inside joke between them.

    L
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    so glad that she found the humor in it too instead of being embarrassed and traumatized

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    For some reason, children acting like adults is highly entertaining. Their minds can be so powerful; kids are smarter than they often get credit for. Yet sometimes, their lack of life experience is adorably hilarious. Similar to the American show Kids Say The Darndest Things, another popular Japanese show featuring hilarious kids has been running since the early 90s.


    The hit show is Old Enough! The basic premise is that producers task toddlers with “grown-up activities” like running errands, grocery shopping, riding on public transit, etc., and leave them alone to embark on the activities. Camera crews secretly film the children, and producers go to great lengths behind the scenes to ensure the safety of participants. But the final product is a hilariously entertaining show. 

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    #22

    Had a child wandering round the class room holding something to his chest, all the children were laughing. Asked him to turn around. He had a piece of paper with 2 nipples drawn it and was holding it to his chest like they were his actual nipples. That took a lot of restraint not to laugh out loud at, but I gave him the usual speech of it not being appropriate. The next day he did the exact same thing with a drawing of a belly button instead. That time I did laugh.

    SpookyMiranda Report

    Beth S
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I always did love class clowns. LOL They helped ease the monotony of the day.

    glowworm2
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That is pretty funny though. Love that he figured out how to make the joke more appropriate.

    PolymathNecromancer
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    In my class, back in the days of only print media, Anthony had an envelope of ALL kinds of heads, cut out from anywhere: magazines, newspapers, ads, comics, etc. We used to sit in the back randomly pulling some out and putting them on pics in textbooks. We almost got them taken away in the chaos after a Gerber baby head ended up on Pope John Paul II........

    Ambry Petersen
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I would have asked him if he was expecting a litter of puppies.

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    #23

    Someone Asked Teachers “What Was Hilarious At The Time That You Absolutely 100% Could Not Laugh At?” And Their Responses Did Not Disappoint (30 Stories) I was a phlebotomy instructor (sorry not a “teacher teacher”) and one of my students(fresh outta hs) was practicing on an elderly patient and he asked her if she was going to take all of his blood. She responded quite joyfully “yes, I’m gonna suck you dryyy!” The old man got the funniest surprised look on his face and I about lost it but somehow kept it together. Oh man, the look in her face and the 50 shades of red she turned after she realized how that came across….absolutely priceless. Will never forget that

    Secret_Squirrel97 Report

    Beth S
    Community Member
    3 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I do believe I would crawl in a hole and die of embarrassment. I have a pretty solid case of second hand embarrassment for this girl going on.

    Mary Jeffries
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I was starting an IV and looking for a juicy vein. I saw one on this beautiful man and said “I’d tap that!” Only to look up and make eye contact with his wife. A few mumbles later and we were all laughing.

    Brandi VanSteenwyk
    Community Member
    2 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I work for a proctology clinic (colon and rectal surgeons) and there is one lesson that really stands out in the medical field: You MUST have a sense of humor to balance out the good, bad, happy and sad. Sometimes, if the timing is right (and you know the patient's personality), the laughter and good-natured riffing is not just kept to the team members. This is a HUGE part of why I absolutely LOVE my job.

    #24

    I’d let my 9th graders draw on the board for a minute before class let out. They were all chuckling one day as they left so I was sure they’d left a hell of a present. Sure enough, the most beautiful drawing of a marbled salamander doing the philosoraptor pose with the caption in cursive, “do salamanders eat a*s?” It was honestly a beautiful, anatomically accurate drawing. I just erased the caption and wrote “bruh” instead and left it for the next day

    NerdyRedneck45 Report

    Ann M Clinkscales
    Community Member
    3 years ago

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    A teacher misspelled velociraptor?! That is BS!!

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    The stars of Old Enough! are incredibly young, ranging from two to four years old at the time of filming. The first episode, which aired in 1991, featured a 2-year-old named Hiroki being sent by his mother to a local supermarket to purchase fish cakes, curry and a bouquet of flowers. Somehow, he completes the task and is brimming with pride in the end. One of viewers’ favorite aspects of the show is the huge increase in confidence the children receive after being able to successfully accomplish jobs they previously imagined were only for adults.

    #25

    Someone Asked Teachers “What Was Hilarious At The Time That You Absolutely 100% Could Not Laugh At?” And Their Responses Did Not Disappoint (30 Stories) I used to supervise kids. One time I saw a tiny little kid go full sprint, probably 15 yard sprint across the field, and he attempted to drop kick this one behemoth of a kid. Sprinter kid looked like he tried drop kicking a brick wall. Behemoth kid looked like a fly just landed on him. I wish I got it on video.

    lBreadl Report

    JUINNO TAN Moe
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    at this moment he knew he f**cked up

    William Geonnotti
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    in case anyone wants 2 know, that kid is doing bjj. he has the gi, the belt, and the stance.

    Wonderful
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I feel bad for big tall bulky guys that are teddy bears. For some reason smaller guys at the bar get liquid courage and think they are invincible and try to find the biggest guy minding his own business. Little guy starts the dance of a drunk “bad a*s” while the poor big guy eventually squishes lil drunky like a bug. All they wanted was to chill and have a beer.

    Molly McGann
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I had a huge friend like this. I mean he was a bad a$$ but didn't start stuff. One time this smaller jerk kept trying to get him to fight and eventually hit him from behind over the head with a freaking shovel. It broke and I almost felt had at the oh s**t look on his face before his one punch nap.

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    Kyndra Krontz
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Omg I have people try to knock me down all kinds of different ways and it dont work and then almost all of them say "HOW" after

    Nancy Copus Williams
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Would have been great if the big kid had dropped to the ground.

    JKJ
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This happened to me in HS. Lighter weight kid did a jumping karate kick into my chest during a game of kickball when the teacher wasn't looking. He bounced right of me. I got called "The Wall" after that.

    Shelley Barrows
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    One of the wildest things I ever saw was a high school football game. Their fly weight state champ wrestler played football to stay in shape during the off season. They were playing against their biggest competition in the league that has a guy called "little frig". Now fly weight plays on the defensive team as he specialized in takedowns while wrestling - decided that on the first play he's taking out "the frig". That is his goal. Whistle blows and he sprints acrossed the field and executed a perfect flying tackle to the knees. Took the kid down like a giant redwood. Great morale booster for the rest of the game. A real David vs. Goliath moment. They went on to win. Kid got a full ride to University for wrestling. Deserved it!

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    #26

    Someone Asked Teachers “What Was Hilarious At The Time That You Absolutely 100% Could Not Laugh At?” And Their Responses Did Not Disappoint (30 Stories) We were playing a phonics game. There were two teams; one person from each team had to say a rhyming word of the word that I said. I said “pick”, a student said “d**k”. I’m thankful the rest of the class didn’t know what that was.

    uwubutcuter Report

    Beth S
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    To be fair "D**k" is also a name.

    Cereal Box
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    You really gotta think a few steps ahead with this game. You also can't start with 'Nanny' or 'Tube' either.

    Vasha
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Here it can also mean to deliberately waste time or be disruptive...as in ''d**k around'.

    Tobias the Tiger
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I tend to use the phrase "fartin' around" to convey the same meaning. One of my teachers said it once and I can't stop thinking about it.

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    Andy Acceber
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    There are some words a teacher probably just shouldn't start with: Duck, witch, gas, orange...

    Christian Dyson
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    What did he expected to happe.I mean come on

    Robert Trebor
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Also a sneering way to pronounce ignorance: "You don't know d**k."

    JUINNO TAN Moe
    Community Member
    3 years ago

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    it will be stupid if the rest of the class know what is d**k

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    #27

    First grader wrote: I want to be an astronaut because you get to sit upside down.

    Neither-Answer-7431 Report

    Chinmayee Kalghatgi
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I want to be an astronaut to represent my nation, to do scientific experiments requiring 0g and the reason this kid wants to be

    T Lee Mac
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That’s better than my kid. In grade 1 he wanted to be a couch. At 19 he’s pretty much almost there.

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    Roseriver_DSMP
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Ah, that's a pleasure someone who wants to be an astrophysicist, like me, will never get 😂😂🥲🥲

    Josh Stevenson
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    There is no up and down in space. There is only Cthulu. We only even understand the concept because of gravity, which our dark lord bestowed on us. All hail Cthulu!!

    Despite how much children learn from adults, I think we can learn a thing or two from them too. Their unbridled curiosity and lack of fear are wonderful character traits to have, even if they do lead to hilarious situations for their elders. Enjoy the rest of these comically innocent quotes from students, and don't forget to upvote your favorite stories. Then let us know in the comments if you have any personal stories of your own children or children you've taught being unintentional comedians!

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    #28

    Time was up for a test and I had to collect them. Cue 11th grade girl start yelling "no wait, I'm almost done. I'm coming, I'm coming!"

    Amoeba-Opening Report

    JessG
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Are people not allowed to say "I'm coming" anymore? Is it really that hard to not go straight to the dirty, immature part of your brain? It's a little funny, but I think people should be allowed to say a regular English phrase without people snickering about how "dirty" that sounds

    Egg
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    When there are teenagers involved, any innocent statement can and will be taken out of context and made into a dirty joke. I know this for a fact, as I am an absolute god of removing context.

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    BasedWang12
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    And Im sure there were a few boy comments after that too

    GoodNamesWereTaken
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    In 6th grade you are forced to stay silent or everything you say will be replied with "OMFG, that's so wRonG!"

    Bobby Sammons
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    AT least they didn't say, "Oh god, first.

    Gladys Hayes Southerland
    Community Member
    3 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Hey, desperation is real. When Every Point Counts so you don't flunk

    Himself
    Community Member
    3 years ago

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    ambasing, ambasing!

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    #29

    I teach middle school intensive sped. Girl 1 is very loud with behavior issues and is verbally mean towards other kids. Girl 2 was telling me about how she was mad once and used bad words and her mom washed her mouth out with soap. She said "if girl 1 doesn't change then she has soap coming to her". It was the funniest thing.

    frymytears Report

    June’s Very Own
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I’m a little bit worried for girl 2

    Scarlett
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I thought getting your mouth washed out with soap for talking back or wearing was normal?

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    Susan Stead
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I feel obliged to note that SpEd is Special Education. Not sure if everyone has such extensive knowledge of the education system.

    Ambry Petersen
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Teaching kids self control is imperative to thier survival, (No you teaching them self control does not mean doing abusive things, but an object lesson from time to time can be important.)

    Darcy Marie
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    When i was younger my mom did bar soap. On my braces.

    Panda poster
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Do you guys in America really do that?

    Evelyn Ann
    Community Member
    3 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It was an old punishment, yes. Bar soap in the mouth for swearing or disrespecting parents. Not body wash or anything scented, think Ivory. Usually you went through it once before stopping the behavior. if parents still did this I'd be willing to go to a grocery store in middle of day instead of going at night to avoid all the screaming kids and tantrums from permissive "parenting". It was not just America. Soap is kinder than making kids kneel on grains of rice or nettles! Catholic punishment right there.

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    Lyyyy
    Community Member
    3 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I can’t recommend washing mouths with real soap, but when I was in kindergarden (mid 90s) it was a topic of rumors if kindergarden teachers really would go through with their threats of soaping some mouths. Edit: Of course I tasted it.

    Love it or leave it
    Community Member
    3 years ago

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    I used to do a drop of Dawn on their tongues. "A drop of Dawn and cussing is gone"

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    #30

    Someone Asked Teachers “What Was Hilarious At The Time That You Absolutely 100% Could Not Laugh At?” And Their Responses Did Not Disappoint (30 Stories) I was substitute teaching a middle school gym class, and some kid got hit in the nuts with a soccer ball. I had another student tell me he was the alpha male of my classroom.

    SecondHandSlows Report

    June’s Very Own
    Community Member
    3 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    “Alpha male”? Ugh *shudder*

    I can't think of a good name
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Someone once made an online joke about how in game design the alpha variant is buggy and unfit for public release, and that it also applies to alpha males

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    Nathaniel
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Alpha male nonsense at that age? Sad.

    Vesuvius
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Working lunch duty: Student raised his hand and I went over. Me: Do you need something? Student: I got kicked in the no no square. Can I go to the nurse? Me: .... It was so hard not to laugh.

    Kayla Hewey
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I feel like anyone who has to say they are an alpha personality are actually just an overly emotional beta

    Dani R
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Someone has an a*****e for a dad

    Peppa Pig
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I feel like I know the kid in the first story. I had a classmate who got hit in the nuts with a soccer ball. Immediately after getting hit the ball bounced right off of the wall and oofed him in the face.

    JUINNO TAN Moe
    Community Member
    3 years ago

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    I will kick that person in the nuts who kick the ball into my nuts! ( a lot of nuts in the sentence )

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    #31

    A bee flew into the classroom during student presentations. One guy grabbed his textbook and squashed the bee, somewhat overdramatically. The next student's presentation: Saving the Bees.

    MatthewHWood Report

    #32

    I’m an art teacher. A 4th grader was casually painting as I walk by his seat. We make eye contact and he says to me “ya know Ms. Racer, once you do black you can’t go back”. I just stated blankly at him for a moment and said “what do you mean?”. He held up his brush that he had been trying to clean in his paint water cup. “Once you do black your brush is too dark for other colors”

    TotalCollection3478 Report

    Kelli Girouard
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Painting. Of course. What else could he be talking about?

    Tobias the Tiger
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Could also be referring to yellow markers. Once you color on a darker color, the yellow is this sort of muddy-yellow color from now on.

    CookieCrump
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Someone tell me what this means! Is it a relationship thing, or something dirty?

    ImNotVerySocial
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I believe it's insinuating that once you get with a black person (both relationship and in the dirty sense" you can't go back meaning both won't be as good with a white person(at least that's what the "joke" usually means)

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    #33

    Oh man, I was the kid and it was like 18 years ago and I STILL cringe/laugh at myself. We had to pick stories to read out loud in front of the class, and I picked this cute one about Candy Stripers. You know, volunteers for hospitals.. My dumb kid a*s kept reading out loud MULTIPLE TIMES “And when I grow older, I want to be a candy stripper!” I can still hear my teacher wheezing with a red face in the back of the classroom hahaha. For the life of me at the time, I could NOT figure out why she kept laughing. But as an adult it kills me.

    AntipatheticDating Report

    Anime dude101
    Community Member
    2 years ago

    This comment has been deleted.

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    #34

    Someone Asked Teachers “What Was Hilarious At The Time That You Absolutely 100% Could Not Laugh At?” And Their Responses Did Not Disappoint (30 Stories) I have a girl who’s mom died when she was very little. She brings it up often and I always try to be supportive of her and her pain. It is valid. And it’s f****n sad However there’s another girl in my class who is friends with her. And every so often Susie will say “my moms dead” in this very factual way and I’ll hear Laurie just sigh “ oh Jesus” and every single time that happens I physically have to not laugh out loud. Like clamp my mouth shut. Lucky I wear a mask because the exhausted way in which she says that is just goddamn hilarious

    jiji_r Report

    Beth S
    Community Member
    3 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That poor girl. I bet she does it because she's trying to come to terms with it. I could imagine her thinking about doing something with her mom when she gets home, then the realization of oh yeah "my mom's dead". Instead of it staying in her head as a thought it comes out of her mouth to make it more real. This one isn't really so funny to me and also it doesn't give you any context of the time since her mother had passed.

    APL
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Hey teach - learn the difference between whose and who's.

    Maxximus Prime
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My friends dad died and whenever the convo came to that he would just deadpan "My dads dead." For people who were new to the friend group it was so funny to see their shocked faces.

    Protogent person
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Supportive of her and her pain?????!??!?!!?!?!???!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!???!?!??!?????!!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

    JUINNO TAN Moe
    Community Member
    3 years ago

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    don't laugh or else her dad may conplain

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    #35

    Had a kid once ask me if I'd travelled a lot. "Yes Phoebe I have". "Have you ever been to Viagra Falls?" "..." Phoebe was 15 at the time. She never lived it down. God I hope she reads this.

    drink_feck_arse_girl Report

    #36

    I taught at an inner city high school under an extremely unpleasant principal. He was petty, unbelievably rude, and unprofessional to students and teachers alike. He would literally yell at teachers, often over simple misunderstandings. After one year of working with him, he and his wife went through a foreclosure on their McMansion that was published in the local newspaper. Since faculty and staff all hated him, we smugly gossiped to each other about it, but obviously never said anything to him. The same week the foreclosure was published, a big fight between two students broke out in the cafeteria during my lunch duty. The principal helped break it up, then screamed at the student who started the fight in front of everyone in the cafeteria, “That’s it! You’re expelled! I’m throwing you out.” The student snapped back, “You ain’t doing s**t. You can’t even pay the note on your house!”

    Bobcatluv Report

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    #37

    Teaching kindergarten. Overheard a pair of my students talking during snack: Kid 1: hey guess what? Kid 2: what? Kid 1: my grandpa died. Kid 2: well, I have a million of grandpas who died! It was so absurd I just had to rest my head against the board for a couple moments. (The kids worked it out just fine, kid 1 wasn't even really upset. She just said, "oh. Well I only have one and I miss him." And kids 2 was just like "oh. Sorry." And then they went back to eating their apple sauce. Kindergarteners are truly something.)

    wargbishop Report

    Andy Acceber
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My brother was that kid who always needed to one-up everyone else. In kindergarten (at a Catholic school), his classmate asked the class to pray for her grandfather who was sick. My brother followed up by asking the class to pray for his "grandfather who lives in Bethlehem and has leprosy." His grandfather lived in Denver and had high blood pressure.

    Aisling Raye
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It's 3am here and I just laughed out loud at this comment. Pure gold

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    Aisling Raye
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I will never understand why the number seems to always be "a million" when kids do this stuff. "I found a dollar today." "Well I found a million dollars once." (I think about million dollar kid often.)

    Emmie Corwin
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    You always lead a sad convo with "Hey, guess what?"

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    #38

    One child called another "li'l hot dog" and the victim was utterly distraught. I somehow managed to convince him I was crying because it's such a mean thing to call someone.

    insignismemoria Report

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    #39

    The time a child told me how they caught their dad trying to 'kill' his mum by squishing her - naked... And then told dad that he told me this... Dad was a very formal, business only type of man. He was so worried he then tried to tell me what was actually going on! I was quick but polite in saying 'That's okay, I understand' - and then dying of laughter in the bathroom a few minutes later.

    CopperTodd17 Report

    Andy Acceber
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Ya know, it might just be an appropriate time to teach your kid about sex when the alternative is him believing you attempted to literally murder his other parent -- naked.

    Gladys Hayes Southerland
    Community Member
    3 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Plus you don't really want him telling anyone else-mortifying

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    Beth S
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Realization will hit in a few years for this child, he will then be mortified lol

    Tobias the Tiger
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The usual way I hear about this is "Mommy and Daddy wrestling naked".

    #40

    Jerry, in kindergarten stuck his hand into his pants, dug around a bit, and whooped out a chunk of brownish paste-like substance. He admired it holding it in his hand during coloring time. Before I could react to it, he then proceeded to stuff as much of it as he could in his mouth. Turns out that he loves smuggling peanut butter in his pants. This was also before the movie Training Day.

    VergingRivals Report

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    #41

    Was an intern history teacher, had to teach a class about classical greek art; Kouros and Kouré statues. I was being graded and observed at the time by 2 different people, the actual history teacher and my own professor. A 13 something year old girl then asks me why the penis on the male statue is so small. I keep a straight face and explain about the golden ratio and how they depict the 'perfect body'. She then argues that that isn't a perfect body, but that she has never seen such a small penis and that it therefor must be a mistake on the sculptor's end. I told her that as a male I could decisively say that this was a perfectly normal sized penis and that whatever her sources were, she shouldn't accept them as a correct respresentation of reality. I am sorry, it wasn't that funny. A bit sad really. This was 20 years ago.

    Korbem Report

    Display Name
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I cant get over the fact a 13 yr old is argueing thus

    foxking
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    in school they are arguing over the size of a penis????? ok....

    SkekVi
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I mean the Ancient Greeks also thought a small one was more ideal than a large one for various reasons....

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    #42

    A yr 7 pupil called me a “stupid pathetic rat faced c**t b***h”. While I was stood there in absolute shock one of the sweet girls in the class patted me on the arm and said “that’s probably the most adjectives he’s ever used in a sentence miss!” Edit: for the person who asked for context, I’d said “good morning! Do you want to come in and sit down?” As he was new to our English class. He replied with the above and threw a chair across the room… still the best insult I’ve ever got.

    catrineira Report

    Chinmayee Kalghatgi
    Community Member
    3 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That’s so hilarious. The girl roasted them so bad

    #43

    Someone Asked Teachers “What Was Hilarious At The Time That You Absolutely 100% Could Not Laugh At?” And Their Responses Did Not Disappoint (30 Stories) Dance teacher here: one of my students came up to me and was like, “miss I have really bad camel toe. I have to sit out”. I was so confused but she was holding onto her leg…she meant Charlie horse.

    Informal-Peace4444 Report

    Cereal Box
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    For those outside the States, Charlie Horse means leg cramps.

    Auntriarch
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Thanks Cereal, for a minute there it just got worse

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    LILYANDPEARL
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    “Penguintoe!” “No you are doing this on purpose now!”

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    #44

    I had instructed my college students to use Word to do some free writing (no prompt, you’re just supposed to record your thoughts). After struggling a bit, one student blurted out: “This is just a blank page! Where are the instructions?”

    100pctMexicanvagina Report

    Terry Tobias
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I can empathize with this kid. With every new version of Office I struggle to use it. There are too many new things each time and it's confusing! So, I installed Office XP using disks that I had kept from years ago. Works great and is sufficient for my needs... plus I didn't have to pay for a 365 subscription.

    #45

    My partner worked in a school and was teaching Sex Ed and wet dreams and one kid seemed panicked. She asked if he was ok and he said "So is sperm coming out of me all the time?"

    OctavianBlue Report

    foxking
    Community Member
    3 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    .................. well is it? /j

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    #46

    During my training year, I was hearing a girl read and she was reading The Curious Incident and when she came across the word ‘f**k’ really quietly said to me I know that’s a word I shouldn’t say and skipped over it. She kept on reading confidently heading straight onto the next page and basically shouted the word c**t out in complete innocent bliss.

    geordiesteve520 Report

    Gregory Tin
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    oh no... this nearly happened to me...

    #47

    Not me, but a friend teaching pronouns using brother and sister. He asked the kid: "do we use 'he' or 'she' for 'brother'". After a good while, the kid answered: "how am I supposed to know, i'm an only child!"

    XFXXCV Report

    Abigael Warners
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    When I was little my parents used to invite their brothers and sisters over. My cousin is like one or two years older than me, and when we watched cartoons he would go "Her can't do that." Drove me crazy

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    #48

    Preschool teacher. 4yr old boy says he will NEVER wear "girl colors". I calmly ask him if purple is a girl color. He says yes, very proud to be a "boy color" only kind of kid. I then ask what color his shirt is. Cue shocked Pikachu face as the horror creeps in, gasp! He is wearing his favorite shirt and it's PURPLE!

    Allel-Oh-Aeh Report

    #49

    A first grade boy called me “Toots.”

    TXcacher Report

    Blue Pearl
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Is he a 30’s cartoon character

    Egg
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That kid is gonna have some issues later in life if hes watching Hazbin Hotel at 6 years old

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    #50

    Subbing a Jr. High class during the late 80's during a big anti drug time. Kids were given a red ribbon that said Drug Free and some students rubbed off the F and r and it looked like Drug ee. All I could say was that they were very creative.

    Whatthehell665 Report

    Vorknkx
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    No one considers that saying "no" to drugs might hurt their feelings and self-esteem ;)

    Crystal Spencer
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I NEVER say no to drugs. Who am I to shoot up their feelings?

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    #51

    Fifth grader told me he wanted to be a doctor when he grew up so he could "make babies". I changed the subject.

    wubbzyove Report

    Kathy L
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    There was a Law & Order SVU episode about that!

    Gladys Hayes Southerland
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    You were correct not to even venture near those waters

    Tobias the Tiger
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Maybe he thinks doctors work at a factory that just generates babies? I thought a similar thing...

    Protogent person
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Im gonna be a doctor and make babies when i grow up because doctor make babi

    #52

    Student 1: What's your opinion on the Oxford comma? I check the sentence in question. Me: Use it Student 2: Where is it? It's not on my keyboard! Another day a student needs to plug in their laptop. I have my back turned, and all I hear is: push it in deeper! You have to push it harder so it'll go deeper! I had to walk out of the room

    MsBlackSox Report

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    #53

    High school. We have a class that creates the advertisements for the digital bulletin boards in the commons area. One of the students created one for a soccer game that said “Kick (insert school we were to play)’s a$$”. Right before parent teacher conferences.

    ferociouslycurious Report

    foxking
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    yeah! kick the schools a*s!

    Tobias the Tiger
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Rah-rah-rhee, kick 'em in the knee! Rah-rah-rass, kick 'em in the other knee!

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    #54

    I was told just the other week “Miss Teacher we don’t have time for this!!” in a totally earnest voice. By a two year old. ‘This’ was me washing my hands before I served her breakfast.

    milkywaymistress5 Report

    #55

    Turkish student wrote me a piece about dogs. At one point, he *meant* to say that sometimes, people keep dogs in their garden. He wrote "sometimes people are dogging in your garden." In my f*****g garden! I died.

    AlucardII Report

    Display Name
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Just...just heard it🤦😂😂

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    #56

    While I was working in a very urban area in a therapeutic day school, we had a speaker come in who was a very small Caucasian woman. One of my students (sophomore, black). Asked her "can you help us get bitches? And where yo lips at?". I had to walk out of the room. Lol

    Snowbunny236 Report

    #57

    My mom teaches at a children's art school and she told me that years ago when the Deadpool movie came out a bunch of her younger kids had gone to see the movie (parents likely assumed it was just a typical superhero flick) and were drawing Deadpool inspired art.

    fufufufufufufufuf15 Report

    BasedWang12
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I remember parents complaining about that... dumbasses. It was even rated R

    Tobias the Tiger
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I remember that post about the guy saying "We had to leave a few minutes into Deadpool because it was too adult-oriented for my 5 year old. Should've put a warning or something." Yeah... like an R-rating? Research movies before watching 'em with your kids, dammit.

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    Brenda
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Ryan Reynolds even put out an ad saying it wasn't for kids

    Display Name
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Im assumin the art looked a certain way for this to be on herd

    Tobias the Tiger
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I just got to see that movie for the first time the other day. Great movie... but definitely not for anyone younger than 16-ish. (Admittedly, most superhero movies aren't really for the little ones either - I was quite puzzled when some folks brought their very young kids to see "Multiverse of Madness" when it came out last week.)

    DramaNerd
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Honestly tho. Multiverse of Madness is probably one of the least child friendly. If it’s pg 13 don’t bring a little one

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    #58

    I teach English to Japanese kids, alongside a native Japanese teacher, and one day they asked me the English word for 白菜 (hakusai), which I now know is like, Chinese cabbage or napa cabbage, but I didn't know at the time and ended up using google translate on the big PC screen in the front of the class. For some reason, the English traslation came up as "white rape" (???) and I guess the Japanese teacher mistook my baffled reaction as an inability to prounce the word or something, because before I knew it he hit the lil audio button and "white rape" was being spoken aloud to the whole class. It was such a surreal moment and I was the only one in the room that could appreciate the absurdity. I had to just play it off like, "Uhhhh, nope, that's not it! Let's uhh, let's just move on..." Pretty sure that memory will be in my life review when I die.

    atttaraxia Report

    cyber grape
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Google translate now says Chinese cabbage... but lists white rape as an alternate translation

    Kayelle Dielle
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Brassica_rapa This is probably why

    BasedWang12
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Theres a buncha different rape tho

    over it already
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yes, it's a plant classification, but most people don't know that.

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    #59

    Just the other day. Teaching kids about homeostasis and asked them what your body does when it’s cold. One of the boys shouted that your balls get sucked back up into your body. Tried not to laugh and had to yell at him that it was inappropriate

    c4halo3 Report

    BasedWang12
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "So cold out here I could p**s in my belly button" ~ something overheard at a concert

    S. Mi
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'd have just had him use scientific terms. Even if he had to look them up...

    #60

    I had a kid who set his name on Kahoot! to PunishTube. I’m not going to lie...I still cracked a smile.

    MrSplattacus Report

    Tobias the Tiger
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    And you can't tell him off on it 'cause he's gonna ask "How do you know it's inappropriate?"

    #61

    Not a teacher but I had some kossovo and bengali kids in the comunity where I work. I was teaching my mother language to these boys and between the two ethnic groups a lot happened. First things first, I'm an italian dude and in my language if you want to say curve, speaking about a road, you say "curva". Which, I discovered some time during my teen years, in most of slavic languages means "whore". So I was speaking with this kossovo guy and when, for an example, I used the word "curva" he started laughing soo hard. Meanwhile saying it my brain managed to keep a partition still working and in the fraction of second that took me to find another example i was already too deep in to this one to turn back. So I went with it and knowing what was going to happen I managed not to start laughing at my self. Then another funny story happened with a bengali guy. Always italian class and we were speaking about food. To say bread in italian you say "pane" which, unfortunately, is very similar to "pene" which is the italian word for penis. When the bengali guy asked me how much "pene" I eat every day he didn't know what was happening and this time I didn't have that partition of brain working with me and I crushed in a laugh so hard. It's funny to work in social services

    Perias_ Report

    Chinmayee Kalghatgi
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Bengali people have such heavy accents that sometimes I can’t understand what they are trying to say. I like their accents though

    Sanchi Shiva
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I like British or other types of Europian accents.

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    #62

    I taught middle school band. My student came to me to let me know he couldn’t find the bong. When I asked if he meant the GONG he totally realized what he had said and his face got so red

    MustangSmilie Report

    Tobias the Tiger
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    He'd be best friends with the kid who asked to see the teacher's "dong" (also meant gong).

    #63

    Someone Asked Teachers “What Was Hilarious At The Time That You Absolutely 100% Could Not Laugh At?” And Their Responses Did Not Disappoint (30 Stories) My first year teaching, I was going over the parts of a parabola. So I had my boring ole parabola up and I drew a dot at the vertex. Some kid goes, "that is the easy one to remember, it's the nipple of the titty." I had to keep facing the board for a bit so push back the smile. Unrelated note, this is the exact thing my classes learned about this week. And I can't look at a parabola anymore without seeing a droopy boob.

    Makenshine Report

    Beth S
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Sometimes the kids teach you... hahahaha

    Tobias the Tiger
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My algebra teachers said it looked like a smiley face. I didn't say it out loud, but it really does look like a boob.

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    #64

    I had a Chinese student repeatedly pronounce "micro - organism" as micro - orgasm. I just about pissed myself every time.

    ZucchiniUsual7370 Report

    #65

    A meeting with me and the Head of Year, meeting with a boy and his mother (a African evangelical Christian) Head of Year: “I’m afraid your son has been looking at gay pornography in lesson” Mother: “He is a victim, he clicked on it accidentally, he didn’t mean to” HoY: “He clicked it on it accidentally on 8 separate occasions?” Me: “…..”

    duplotigers Report

    Andy Acceber
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Ugh, please don't out gay teens to their parents -- especially if you know their parents are Evangelicals. Talk with the boy about that not being appropriate in class time, preferably send him to the library for age appropriate resources, maybe recommend a GSA or other queer friendly organization in your school, and leave it at that.

    Crystal Spencer
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Word! Because you have no clue the hell they might get at home. Thank God my gay a*s kid has me for a mom.... but so many have parents who range from shaming them all the up to conversion therapy, which is traumatic and has been fatal in the past.

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    June’s Very Own
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Did they have to add that it was gay porn tho? Like was that really necessary?

    Marco Hub-Dub
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Couldn’t just say porn? Had to out him? Just imagine the different forms of torture options they had to “cure” him. Maybe they were smart and sent him to to whatever African nation they had ties to. Maybe Uganda, where, thanks to funding from western religious organizations, particularly the Catholics and their Knights of Columbus, they’d just kîll the gay out of him. Still, I’m certain the parents didn’t just let it go. What a f*****g horrible school, HoY & teacher.

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    #66

    I used to tutor math in an after school learning center. We had one kid who was just horribly behaved. He was always acting out, looking for attention, trying to get other kids to laugh, never doing his work, etc. One day, his mom was a bit late to pick him up. We had some math-related games for kids to play while they waited to get picked up, since this was pretty common. This kid grabbed a game that had money, and started making it rain, and was singing, "Imma make it rain. Imma steal yo girl. Imma make it rain. Imma steal yo girl." We had to yell at him because we needed to discourage this bad behavior. But after we closed up, the other instructors and I were busting up.

    dandroid126 Report

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    #67

    Someone Asked Teachers “What Was Hilarious At The Time That You Absolutely 100% Could Not Laugh At?” And Their Responses Did Not Disappoint (30 Stories) Not a teacher, but I was a summer camp counselor a few years ago. One night while we were trying to get the kids into bed, one of them came out of the bathroom shirtless after taking a shower and then discovered that he could stick baseball cards to his nipples. So of course he had to show this off to everyone else in the room and get his friends to start doing it.

    ZTH-Yankee Report

    #68

    Just today a kid wrote in his journal he likes to eat beavers. We’re learning about Lewis and Clark. And there was the a kid got decked, deserved it (grabbing girls butts) and I had to be serious and advocate non-violence.

    meawait Report

    Beth S
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I do hope it was girl that decked him.

    BasedWang12
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    If it was another dude who witnessed it, then props to him as well

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    Not A Panda
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    So basically the girls were told they shouldn't defend themselves when attacked?

    Display Name
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    No they should but school rules are dumb and dont care

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    #69

    Yesterday, when a boy in my class finished last in a spelling b and was understandably upset. A girl in the class who has some real problems, turns around to him and deadpan looks into his eyes and says 'you're a disappointment'. Sounds mean but I found it so harsh that inside i was laughing

    ZisDed Report

    Crystal Spencer
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Spelling Bee. I hope their other teachers teach them that later.

    Michelle C
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That sounds like the girl may have heard that exact insult directed at her at home or spent her time around peers who exerted negative influences on her… 💔

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    #70

    I mean I was an instructor in the Army I don’t know if that counts, but one of the privates I had in my class had the last name “Shart”. God damn it was so hard to keep it together at times.

    Ok_Draft_8618 Report

    T. D. Bostick
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Wonder if he ever made major?

    Bender Bending Rodríguez
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Private Shart, you say? I would also keep it private if I sharted.

    #71

    My mom was a secretary at a public elementary school for many years and heard many things. One of my favorites was when the cafeteria was evidently serving some nasty looking food one day… a young maybe 10 year old boy went through the line and when he finally got to the end he turned to the kid next to him and said “I can’t eat this f*cling sh!t”. 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

    Lezum Report

    BasedWang12
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    alotta us talked like this at that age... At least round these parts

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    #72

    Made a Blooket for my fourth graders to play. One of the students names was UrMomDotCom

    NShadows_ Report

    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    i will be using this

    Tobias the Tiger
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    One time, the names my class came up with for a Blooket game were even worse. Favorites included "Barry McCocciner" and "Penny Trayshun". The teacher understood exactly what they meant but let them keep 'em anyway.

    #73

    I work with kindergarten kids and it's a daily struggle hearing these tiny innocent voices curse in complete context to whatever they are doing, or the mispronounced words are always great.

    Intelligent_Main_548 Report

    Jill Bussey
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    A friend's family used to say carrots, instead of swearing in front of their kids. It's surprising how much feeling you can out into saying carrots!

    Amber Dowson
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    On a ride at Alton Towers in England, the guy running it always says ‘choo choo’ in a sorta seductive way so me and my best friend said you couldn’t make the word carrots sound seductive never mind choo choo so now we just shout carrots in a seductive manner at eachother. It’s fun.

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    Deb M.F.
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    when my child was little we used to use made-up words instead of curse words. A favorite was instead of s.o.b was to say "sun river ditch" she used it even as a teenager lol

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    #74

    Not me but my wife. She had a special needs kid in her 5th grade class that had underdeveloped limbs. They showed a documentary about Chernobyl and they got to a part discussing the physical deformities caused by radiation. Another boy looks at the screen, then at the kid, then back to the screen and according to my wife "you could see the wheels turning in his head". He turns back to the kid and says "[Name], were you born in Chernobyl?" She knew it was incredibly mean and hurtful, but she had to suppress a laugh simply because of how it played out.

    bcpro983 Report

    Beth S
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I must be weird because if I would have been that teacher watching this unfold, it would have made me intensely uncomfortable as I watch the wheels turn in this kid's head. My brain would have been silently pleading "please don't say it, please don't say it, please don't say it".

    Brenda
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    In 4th grade we had a new student who was partially blind. The day before he came, we rearranged the desks for his wheelchair and learned to do things blindfolded. Pouring water in a glass was harder than you think. Made us aware of what he faced. Whenever we had to do something, we took turns doing it with him. Teacher had to pull names because we all wanted to work with him. He was funny as hell and everyone loved working with him. To this day I'm thankful that my teacher did this.

    S. Mi
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    5th grade is still young enough to call this a learning opportunity. What kinds of things can result in underdeveloped limbs?

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    #75

    I work in a school for Autistic children in kindergarten. One little boy is an absolute evil genius. He gets up to the absolute BEST mischief I have ever seen, but we are not supposed to react to him or it will just encourage him. Highlights include: -Flushing things down the toilet while saying, in a totally dead-pan voice, "Bye bye." -Throwing things and grinning when he breaks something. Sometimes even Bragging that he broke it. -Figuring out how to get into storage rooms and run amok through them. I sent him home with a dead spider in his hair that day. Oh well. I also kinda low-key love it when the kids dole out their own justice. Like, if "John" is stealing everyone's food and "Jack" smacks him across the face for it before I can stop them. I will always TRY to stop them, but.... I still like it when they do it themselves. Food and toy boundaries are always being sorted out.

    QueenShnoogleberry Report

    Not A Panda
    Community Member
    3 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm not quite seeing how this is either genius, evil or "the best mischief". Sounds like a normal day in kindergarten to me.

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    #76

    The poor little kid who pissed his pants absolutely soaked while standing there holding the bathroom door open but refusing to go in. I absolutely had and showed him compassion for his difficult situation. He was a brand new kindergartener, and apparently afraid to go in the bathroom by himself? (You do see some odd quirks with new kindergartners sometimes, quirks that you imagine that their parents have probably just put up with at home up to this point.) Just put yourself in his shoes for a moment, and that really is a nasty conundrum! But on a different level in my brain, the whole thing was so incredibly stupid as to be absolutely hilarious. I had to excuse myself from the scene for a few minutes to go and get my laughter out, once the crisis was dealt with.

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    #77

    I was helping kids w severe behavioral challenges in an elementary school. I cared a lot about all of them. I had this one 7 year old that was intellectually about 3 or 4 years old. And he sadly heard somewhere about unaliving so he kept threatening to do so. It was actually super sad and concerning. So I dont want to downplay that. But you know, kids are just kids and they do funny stuff. One day i had him in my room and he was having a really big meltdown, and he went over to an empty tote that was on a shelf and put his head below the shelf level. And he stared at me and started inching the empty (and very light and harmless) tote toward his head with very serious eyes like "Im gonna do it. I am going to crush my own head in front of you". It was one of those things where a stressful situation just suddenly becomes too hilarious and you shouldnt laugh and then it makes you want to laugh even more

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    Gladys Hayes Southerland
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I get that as a therapist, some of the moments are both sad & funny. After you grow up, you realize that's life, no surprise

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