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When talking about comfort TV shows that never go out of style, you just can’t miss one of the best sitcoms of all time—Friends. And what part of the show can best describe its quality? Dialogues and monologues. While it’s full of iconic lines, there are quite a few Friends TV show quotes that take the cake.
The characters pool together a good number of different experiences throughout their adventures, which makes their sayings relatable to most of the viewers. And what’s best is that with the show’s timelessness and countless reruns, it will never go out of style.
This list contains the best quotes from the TV show Friends, which should bring you back to the time when there was no better relaxing activity after work than just sitting down, listening to the show’s specific humor, and enjoying a few episodes.
With popcorn and a chilling drink ready, take a deep dive into these Friends show quotes. Let us know which are your favorites, and if this list makes you want to rewatch the show yet again, hey, we’re not judging!
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
"Oh, I'm sorry. Did my back hurt your knife?" — Rachel
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#2
"I wish I could, but I don’t want to." — Phoebe
Cassi Lyris 3 years ago
Phoebe was my favorite on this show, and this quote is just one of the many reasons why.
#3
"I’m not great at the advice. Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?" — Chandler
#4
"No uterus, no opinion." — Rachel
Cassi Lyris 3 years ago
She meant this to men, not to those of us who've had hysterectomies. Still, out of context it comes across as a bad take.
#5
"Oh my God. I’ve become my father. I’ve been trying so hard not to become my mother, I didn’t see this coming." — Rachel
Faye Patrice 3 years ago
My life version: Oh my God, I keep dating men like my mother. I've tried so hard not to date men like my father that I didn't see this coming!
#6
"You don’t own a TV? What’s all your furniture pointed at?" — Joey
Tota Mostafa 3 years ago
🤣 🤣 🤣. At this point I'm spoiling all the good jokes for myself cause I still haven't seen the show
#7
Rachel: "Go tell him he's cute. What's the worst that could happen?"
Monica: "He could hear me."
Trinity Cottrell 3 years ago
It's how you say it. For example, if you don't want to look like a creep, here's a great way to chat to a lady: "Hey, I love how your outfit compliments you. You have a great taste in style and I hope you feel as beautiful as you look in that. I know you didn't dress up for the guys, but I still have to admire how well you pull off that outfit." See, that doesn't sexualize a woman, which is what we like. When a woman realizes that you just admire her ability to dress stylishly, and don't want to just 'do the dirty', she'll build trust and respect for you, which will eventually prompt her to want to give you a chance and then she'll initiate the joyful pleasures of the bedroom later on in the relationship. Unless they scoff at you, then that's your notification to leave that rude woman alone and she'll miss out.
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Cassi Lyris 3 years ago
We, as a society, need to examine why we fear both rejection and acceptance.
#8
"Hi, I’m Chandler. I make jokes when I’m uncomfortable." — Chandler
#9
Joey: "If he doesn’t like you, this is all a moo point."
Rachel: "A moo point?"
Joey: "Yeah. It’s like a cow’s opinion. It just doesn’t matter. It’s moo."
#10
"Joey doesn’t share food!" — Joey
#11
"They don’t know that we know they know we know." — Phoebe
#12
Ross: "No, Homo habilis was erect. Australopithecus was never fully erect."
Chandler: "Well, maybe he was nervous."
#13
"I’m a pacifist. But when the revolution comes, I’ll destroy all of you." — Phoebe
#14
"Smelly cat, smelly cat, what are they feeding you? Smelly cat, smelly cat, it’s not your fault." — Phoebe
#15
"Fine! Judge all you want, but: married a lesbian, left a man at the altar, fell in love with a gay ice dancer, threw a girl’s wooden leg in a fire, LIVE IN A BOX!" — Monica
#16
"How you doin'?" — Joey
#17
"Come on, Ross, you’re a paleontologist. Dig a little deeper." — Phoebe
#18
Ross: "I went to that tanning place your wife suggested."
Chandler: "Was that place the Sun?"
Laksh Gupta 3 years ago
never under estimate a person who calls his sister someone's wife....lesson learned😬
#19
Joey: "Hey, Ross, I got a science question: If the Homo sapiens were, in fact, HOMO sapiens... is that why they're extinct?"
Ross: "Joey, Homo sapiens are PEOPLE."
Joey: "Hey, I'm not judging!"
Trinity Cottrell 3 years ago
I totally support the LGBTQ+ community, but you have to admit that this is a little funny.
Smile crab 3 years ago
As part of the LGBTQ+ community, I can tell you liking this joke is not being against us. I find this joke very funny
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Cassi Lyris 3 years ago
This is what happens when people take words like "homo" and "gay" and alter their original meanings...at least this isn't one of the worst gay hot takes Friends had...
#20
"Welcome to the real world. It sucks. You're gonna love it." — Monica
#21
"Until I was 25, I thought the response to 'I love you' was 'Oh, crap.'" — Chandler
#22
"I say more dumb things before 9 a.m. than most people say all day." — Chandler
#23
Rachel: "I’m not someone who goes after a guy five minutes after he’s divorced."
Monica: "No, you go after them five minutes before they get married."
#24
Monica: "Do you have a plan?"
Phoebe: "I don't even have a 'pla.'"
#26
Monica: "You can't live off your parents your whole life."
Rachel: "I know that, that's why I was getting married."
#27
"Didn’t you ever run so fast you thought your legs were gonna fall off, you know, like when you were running toward the swings or running away from Satan?" — Phoebe
#28
"You love divorce so much, you’re probably gonna marry it — and then it won’t work out, so you’re gonna have to divorce it." — Phoebe
#29
"I hope it's still funny when you're in hell." — Rachel
Trinity Cottrell 3 years ago
That's really similar to what I say when my Grandma makes a homophobic joke. The funny part is, she's Catholic, so it's really insulting to her and her little huffs of being offended is funny.
Cassi Lyris 3 years ago
Awesome! Never stop pointing out her hypocrisy. She may never change, but I hope one day her heart opens up.
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#30
"I KNOW!" — Monica
Sarah.Heiden 3 years ago
Anyone else started saying this just like Monica after watching the show or is it just me?
#31
"Oh. My. God." — Janice
#32
"Isn't that just kick-you-in-the-crotch, spit-on-your-neck fantastic?" — Rachel
#33
"Ross! We broke up two years ago. You’ve been married since then. I think it’s okay that we see other people." — Rachel
#34
"Oh, are you setting Ross up with someone? Does she have a wedding dress?" — Rachel
#35
"You-you-you... You threw my sandwich away... My sandwich? MY SANDWICH?!!" — Ross
Matt Ronald Slater 3 years ago
A person who steals food deserves to be yelled at. Nothing more. Nothing less. Just... Yelled at.
#37
"What’s not to like? Custard: good. Jam: good. Meat: good!" — Joey
#38
"Guys can fake it? Unbelievable! The one thing that's ours!" — Monica
Trinity Cottrell 3 years ago
As a girl who had to learn how to fake moan and pretend to enjoy their half-assed "bedroom skills" for the sake of my past exes' fragile egos, this one hits hard.
Dick Sawkins 3 years ago
Wth is wrong with you? So if I pretend to love my partners different fish dishes, and they start cooking those for me everyday, they are the problem because I secretly don't even like fish?
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Cassi Lyris 3 years ago
In all seriousness, no one should ever "fake it". 😅 Be honest with your lover(s).
Katherine Stevens 3 years ago (edited)
Why the ef are women still faking it? It's 2022 stop faking it! Your partner will know more about what to do to pleasure you if your honest and open about sex. My husband and I have an amazing sex life because we talk about it. Like I said it's 2022, sex is not a dirty secret anymore. If people can be openly lgbt+ you can certainly talk with your partner and try new things in the bedroom, kitchen, bathroom, ect.
Angie Marie 3 years ago
Fundies still often believe that sex isn't for pleasure and some still believe it doesn't matter if the woman enjoys it. I was taught that sex wasn't all that but I would have to at least pretend to enjoy it for my husband's pleasure (and of course I wouldn't be allowed to just not have sex). Luckily I've left my family home, my hubby honestly cares what I enjoy, and respects me.
Load More Replies... #39
"I thought that it mattered what I said or where I said it. Then I realized the only thing that matters is that you make me happier than I ever thought I could be, and if you let me I will spend the rest of my life trying to make you feel the same way." — Chandler
Kathryn Baylis 3 years ago
Chandler turned out to be the best person of all of them. Phoebe is a very close second.
#40
"And I have to live with a boy!" — Monica
#41
"Now, I need you to be careful and efficient. And remember, if I am harsh with you, it is only because you're doing it wrong." — Monica
Lia Salvatore 3 years ago (edited)
wait my dad is Ross so we're cousins...
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#43
"We were on a break!" — Ross
#44
"I grew up with Monica. If you didn't eat fast, you didn't eat." — Ross
#45
"Is it me? Is it like I have some sort of beacon that only dogs and men with severe emotional problems can hear?" — Monica
Annie Bieber 3 years ago
I call it a "Freak Beacon"...like an invisible Mr Hero helmet...yellow helmet w/red flashing light that says...Please...pick me. 🙄
#46
"When I was growing up, I didn’t have a normal mom and dad, or a regular family like everybody else, and I always knew that something was missing. But now I’m standing here today, knowing that I have everything I’m ever gonna need… You are my family." — Phoebe
Sarah.Heiden 3 years ago
I kind of hated that line because Phoebe already had found her family in her friends and Mike just completed it for her. Here it sounds like her friends aren't as important to her now that she' has him.
Chris Davison 3 years ago
It's a shame when people think one person completes another. Complements, sure. Completes? No.
Load More Replies... Cassi Lyris 3 years ago
Still relatable, though I agree that she should've been saying this to everyone, not just her boyfriend, Mike, at the time.
#47
"She's my friend and she needed help. If I had to, I'd pee on any one of you!" — Joey
#48
"Well, the fridge broke, so I had to eat everything." — Joey
Matt Ronald Slater 3 years ago
Of course. Otherwise it just goes to waste.
Load More Replies... #49
"Okay, you have to stop the Q-Tip when there’s resistance." — Chandler
nicole 3 years ago
I read in an article that this line is Matthew Perry's favorite joke from Chandler
Bored puppy dog 3 years ago
I heard that this was ad-libbed & not in the script
Load More Replies... #50
"You can’t just give up. Is that what a dinosaur would do?" — Joey
#51
Monica: "Where've you been?"
Ross: "Emotional hell."
#52
"When I first meet somebody it’s usually panic, anxiety, and a great deal of sweating." — Chandler
#53
"Princess Consuela Bananahammock." — Phoebe
#55
"Pivot!" — Ross
#56
"Look at me! I’m Chandler! Could I be wearing any more clothes?" — Joey
#57
"Only by achieving true unagi can you be prepared for any danger that may befall you." — Ross
#58
"I'm fine. Totally fine." — Ross
#60
"13 bathrooms in this place, I threw up in a coat closet." — Phoebe
#61
"It's like all of my life everyone has always told me you're a shoe, you're a shoe, you're a shoe, you're a shoe. And then today, I just stopped and I said, what if I don't want to be a shoe? What if I want to be a purse, you know, or a hat?" — Rachel
#62
"Everybody looks so happy. I hate that." — Phoebe
Matt Ronald Slater 2 years ago
The New Year's episode from season one. I don't want to spoil it, though, because this line is near the end of the episode, and follows some very important plot points.
Load More Replies... #63
"You know what? I just shouldn’t be allowed to make decisions anymore." — Rachel
#64
"Over the line? You’re so far past the line that you can’t even see the line! The line is a dot to you!" — Joey
Dick Sawkins 3 years ago
This one should be higher. "The line is a dot to you". Smartest thing Joey said, ever.
#65
Ross: “My marriage, I think my marriage is kind of over.” Phoebe: “Why?” Ross: “Because my wife's a lesbian... And I'm not one.”
#67
"I'm the holiday armadillo!" — Ross
#69
"Oh, you like that? You should hear my phone number." — Phoebe
#70
"My sister's gonna have my baby!" — Frank Jr.
#71
"I’m gonna go get one of those job things." — Rachel
#72
"Isn’t this exciting! I earned this! I wiped tables for it, I steamed milk for it, and it was totally… not worth it. Who’s FICA? Why’s he getting all my money?" — Rachel
#73
"Your collective dating record reads like a who's who of human crap." — Phoebe
#74
"Just so you know, it’s not that common, it doesn’t happen to every guy, and it is a big deal!" — Rachel
#79
"In Vegas. I was so drunk, I could've married Joey." — Ross
#80
"Is it obvious that I’m wearing six sweaters?" — Joey
#82
"Oh, I know. This must be so hard. ‘Oh, no! Two women love me. They’re both gorgeous and sexy. My wallet’s too small for my fifties, and my diamond shoes are too tight!'" — Chandler
#83
"Oh, my God, a woman flirting with a single man? We must alert the church elders!" — Phoebe
#84
"Seven!" — Monica
#85
"Some girl ate Monica!" — Joey
Cassi Lyris 3 years ago
It's so funny, because she was so fat when she was young. We should do numerous extremely funny jokes about how enormously fat she was. It's especially funny because she's thin, pretty, liked and successful now. Fat people aren't those things. Look, her friends don't even recognize her, because she was so huge. Hilarious! 🙄
#86
"I'm hopeless and awkward and desperate for love!" — Chandelr
#88
"How long do cats live? Like assuming you don’t throw ‘em under a bus or something?" — Rachel
#89
Ross: “How about the time I cut the legs off your Malibu Ken?” Monica: “That was you?” Ross: “Uh... They were infected. He wouldn't have made it.”
#90
Rachel: “Maybe we should take a break.” Ross: “You're right. Let's cool off, get some frozen yogurt.” Rachel: “No, a break from us.”
The Gaming Scientist 3 years ago
She would go on to regret her choice of words for nearly a decade..
Chris Davison 3 years ago
How? She insisted throughout the series they weren't.
Load More Replies... #91
"I’m sorry, it was a one-time thing. I was very drunk, and it was someone else’s subconscious." — Chandler
#93
Ross: "You got a job?" Rachel: "Are you kidding? I'm trained for nothing!"
Brenna Stott 3 years ago (edited)
Literally me every time I apply for a job that has nothing to do with my college degree
#94
"I'm a gym member. I try to go four times a week, but I've missed the last twelve hundred times." — Chandler
#96
"I hope everyone likes Mexican food because I’m making FAJITAS!" — Ross
#100
"I can handle this. 'Handle' is my middle name. Actually, 'handle' is the middle of my first name." — Chandler
#101
"I’m glad we’re having a rehearsal dinner, I rarely practice my meals before I eat." — Chandler
#104
"Yeah, well, Hurricane Gloria didn’t break the porch swing, Monica did!" — Ross
#105
"You’ve been BAMBOOZLED!" — Joey
#106
"Whapah!" — Chandler
#107
"Today, it’s like there’s rock bottom, 50 feet of crap, then me." — Rachel
Trinity Cottrell 3 years ago
Well, that's the beauty of being at your lowest point; there's only one direction to go, and that's up.
Nyx (she/her) 3 years ago
Unless you are me. Then you can always go lower
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#113
"I think the most romantic song is the one that Elton John wrote for that guy from 'Who’s the Boss?'… You know, 'Hold me closer, Tony Danza.'" — Phoebe
#114
Joey: ”Ross! How much do you weigh?” Ross: "I'd really rather not answer that, right now. I'm still carrying a little holiday weight.”
#116
"They’re still not coming on, man! And the lotion and the powder have made a paste!" — Ross
#117
"Your little Harmonica is hammered." — Monica
#119
"So it seems like this Internet thing's here to stay." — Chandler
#120
"Unagi." — Ross
#121
"I'm gonna go out on a limb and say no divorces in '99!" — Ross
#124
"If you're too afraid to be in a relationship, then don't be in one." — Monica
#134
"I am against innocent trees being cut down in their prime and their corpses grotesquely dressed in, like, tinsel and twinkly lights." — Phoebe
#136
"Why can’t parents just stay parents? You know? Why do they have to become people?" — Rachel
#137
"Unagi is a total state of awareness." — Ross
#141
"Does this look like something the girlfriend of a paleontologist would wear?" — Rachel
#142
"Man, I’m starving. What was I thinking at dinner? ‘Do you want soup or salad?’ Both. Always order both." — Joey
#143
Ross: “Rach, you balded my girlfriend!” Rachel: (About Bonnie's baldness) “See, she doesn't look that bad.” Ross: “You can see the moonlight bouncing off her head!”
#145
"I had a very long, hard day." — Chandler
#148
"If you want to receive emails about my upcoming shows, please give me money so I can buy a computer." — Phoebe
#150
"Are you in there, little fetus? In nine months, will you greet us? I will... buy you some Adidas." — Phoebe
#154
"I think I can safely say that we all have family issues, work, and/or are sick." — Chandler
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