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Woman Gives Her ‘Situationship’ An Ultimatum, He Has A ‘Wake-Up Call’ Almost 4 Years Later
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Man Says He "Isn't Suited For A Relationship" After 4 Years Together With GF

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Almost all relationships fluctuate, and romantic relationships aren’t an exception. You might feel like you’re a thousand miles away from your partner emotionally one day. Then, the next, you’re back to being like two peas in a pod.

But what if your partner drops a bomb on you and says they never wanted to be in the relationship in the first place? That’s what happened to this woman. When she got blindsided by her boyfriend, she couldn’t make sense of the situation. So, she decided to ask the Internet for advice.

Ideally, both people in a relationship should want to be together

Image credits: Mikhail Nilov / pexels (not the actual photo)

But this man told his GF he felt ‘forced’ to confess his feelings and be in a relationship for four years

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Image credits: Darya Ezerskaya / unsplash (not the actual photo)

Image credits: Becca Correia / pexels (not the actual photo)

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Image credits: plutodevoteee

People tend to stay in unhappy relationships because they see it as more beneficial than being single

Knowing when to walk away from a relationship can be tricky. In some cases, it might just be normal, regular doubts many people in romantic relationships have. In other cases, it’s beneficial to think your relationship through and examine whether you’re truly happy in it.

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In 2015, law firm Slater & Gordon commissioned a study about how happy people feel in their marriages. 20% of respondents said they feel “trapped,” and 15% admitted they wished they had married someone else. This shows people have a worrying tendency to stay in relationships even when they’re not happy.

Clinical Psychologist Sally Austen explained to The Independent that people stay in loveless relationships because they’ve jotted down the pros and the cons and decided that staying is more beneficial.

“It’s often because their cost-benefit analysis indicates that by leaving, they may be worse off. What constitutes the ‘cost’ and ‘benefit’ will depend on the individual and could range from housing and financial stability to physical safety and social circumstances.”

For some people, being single and alone sucks, so they stay in a relationship out of convenience. As one commenter pointed out, the boyfriend in this story probably stayed because he got regular sex, shared rent, and had fun at home or social gatherings.

When the relationship started moving toward something more serious, he might’ve started questioning whether he was happy and if that’s how he wanted the rest of his life to be.

There’s a nice and gentle way to break up with someone without insulting their dignity

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Image credits: Priscilla Du Preez 🇨🇦 / unsplash (not the actual photo)

When you’re unhappy in a relationship, the least you can do is let your partner down gently. Accusations of things such as manipulation only worsen the whole ordeal and build resentment. Don’t think amicable breakups are a thing? Some experts would like to argue otherwise.

Anabelle Bernard Fournier, researcher of sexual and reproductive health, writes for VeryWell Health that there’s a kind and compassionate way to break up with someone. The best way to do it, according to her and other mental health experts, is to prepare for a tough face-to-face conversation.

Fournier recommends avoiding blaming or shaming your partner during a breakup. Being able to show empathy in such a situation demonstrates emotional intelligence. So, starting arguments and bringing up past grievances is generally a no-no.

On the other hand, the other person’s feelings are no longer your responsibility. That’s why making the other person feel better shouldn’t be a priority. Joanne Wilson, a relationship expert and neuropsychotherapist, explained to Vice why putting yourself first is important. “If you don’t want to be with someone then you don’t have to be with them. Take the time you need to forgive yourself and do what’s best for you.”

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However, do let your partner know why you’re breaking up with them. Not with too many details but enough to preserve your partner’s self-esteem and dignity. The “it’s not you, it’s me” cliche is best left unsaid.

Rebecca Hendrix, L.M.F.T, explained to Glamour that it’s best to use “I” statements during a breakup. “It’s you who has decided that the relationship is not a good fit and it’s you that has decided to leave the relationship. So the healthiest way is to take responsibility for your feelings using ‘I’ words versus ‘You don’t really like my family’ or ‘You don’t like to go out as much as I do.'”

People offered all sorts of advice: some said to dump him, and others tried to look at the situation from his perspective

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Kornelija Viečaitė

Kornelija Viečaitė

Writer, BoredPanda staff

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Hi there, fellow pandas! As a person (over)educated both in social sciences and literature, I'm most interested in how we connect and behave online (and sometimes in real life too.) The human experience is weird, so I try my best to put its peculiarities in writing. As a person who grew up chronically online, I now try to marry two sides of myself: the one who knows too much about MySpace, and the one who can't settle and needs to see every corner of the world.

Read less »
Kornelija Viečaitė

Kornelija Viečaitė

Writer, BoredPanda staff

Hi there, fellow pandas! As a person (over)educated both in social sciences and literature, I'm most interested in how we connect and behave online (and sometimes in real life too.) The human experience is weird, so I try my best to put its peculiarities in writing. As a person who grew up chronically online, I now try to marry two sides of myself: the one who knows too much about MySpace, and the one who can't settle and needs to see every corner of the world.

Mantas Kačerauskas

Mantas Kačerauskas

Author, BoredPanda staff

Read more »

As a Visual Editor at Bored Panda, I indulge in the joy of curating delightful content, from adorable pet photos to hilarious memes, all while nurturing my wanderlust and continuously seeking new adventures and interests—sometimes thrilling, sometimes daunting, but always exciting!

Read less »

Mantas Kačerauskas

Mantas Kačerauskas

Author, BoredPanda staff

As a Visual Editor at Bored Panda, I indulge in the joy of curating delightful content, from adorable pet photos to hilarious memes, all while nurturing my wanderlust and continuously seeking new adventures and interests—sometimes thrilling, sometimes daunting, but always exciting!

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byzantiume2 avatar
FreeTheUnicorn
Community Member
1 week ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That sucks, he shouldn't have treated you that way. It's not your fault for wanting clarity and getting a lie. But, time to leave. He wants out and you deserve better. Break it off.

luispineiro avatar
Subaru645
Community Member
1 week ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I agree, to a certain extent . OP, Take responsibility and realize people like this always show their red flags…I say that because I have gone through two relationships where I overlooked them. I just assumed they would mature.

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paulc_1 avatar
Paul C
Community Member
1 week ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I suspect he really enjoyed their time in bed when they started (and was happy to say anything to keep it going), but has become a little bored with it after 4 years. It's amazing how many men are governed by that part of their anatomy.

superbeast avatar
Super Beast
Community Member
4 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I had a similar partner who was asexual. It's entitlement and manipulation.

Load More Replies...
nancyparkinson avatar
Jane
Community Member
1 week ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

He's not man enough to break up with her, so he's trying to get her to break up with him.

Load More Comments
byzantiume2 avatar
FreeTheUnicorn
Community Member
1 week ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That sucks, he shouldn't have treated you that way. It's not your fault for wanting clarity and getting a lie. But, time to leave. He wants out and you deserve better. Break it off.

luispineiro avatar
Subaru645
Community Member
1 week ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I agree, to a certain extent . OP, Take responsibility and realize people like this always show their red flags…I say that because I have gone through two relationships where I overlooked them. I just assumed they would mature.

Load More Replies...
paulc_1 avatar
Paul C
Community Member
1 week ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I suspect he really enjoyed their time in bed when they started (and was happy to say anything to keep it going), but has become a little bored with it after 4 years. It's amazing how many men are governed by that part of their anatomy.

superbeast avatar
Super Beast
Community Member
4 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I had a similar partner who was asexual. It's entitlement and manipulation.

Load More Replies...
nancyparkinson avatar
Jane
Community Member
1 week ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

He's not man enough to break up with her, so he's trying to get her to break up with him.

Load More Comments
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