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Man Cusses Out His GF For Telling Him To Leave Her Apartment As They’ve Broken Up
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Man Cusses Out His GF For Telling Him To Leave Her Apartment As They’ve Broken Up

Interview With Author Man Cusses Out His GF For Telling Him To Leave Her Apartment As They’ve Broken UpWoman Leaves Boyfriend After He Says He Wants Kids And She Should TooBF Blows Up On GF After Changing His Mind About Wanting Kids, She Dumps Him ImmediatelyMan Changes His Mind About Having Kids But GF Doesn’t, Gets Upset She Wants To Break Up“I Could Change My Mind In The Future”: Woman Dumps BF After He Changes His Mind About KidsBoyfriend Hides That He Suddenly Wants Kids: “It’s Natural For A Woman To Want To Have Kids”Woman Can’t Trust Her BF When He Says That He Can Live Without Kids But Not Without HerGuy Changes His Mind About Having Kids, Keeps It A Secret From Girlfriend For A YearMan Hides From GF That He Wants Kids, Can’t Understand Why She Dumped Him After Finding Out
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More and more couples nowadays choose not to have children. In fact, one survey shows that 47% of adults younger than 50 in the U.S. don’t plan to have kids. In many cases, couples make this decision together, both on the same page.

Yet, this couple wasn’t. After three years in a relationship, the boyfriend revealed to his girlfriend that he does, in fact, want children. As the woman had not changed her mind, she thought there’s nothing else to do but break up. She shared her story as an example that, contrary to what the boyfriend thought, women don’t always naturally want children.

Bored Panda got in touch with the author of this story, u/Sour_JollyRancher. She graciously agreed to have a short chat with us about how she feels now and what this whole experience taught her. Read our conversation below!

Couples break up for many reasons; for this couple, it was over the boyfriend changing his mind about wanting children

Image credits: Kampus Production / pexels (not the actual photo)

The woman shared her story of how he surprised her with this fact after three years together

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Image credits: Alena Darmel / pexels (not the actual photo)

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Image credits: Budgeron Bach / pexels (not the actual photo)

Image credits: Sour_JollyRancher

The author made up her mind about not having children when she was a teen and says this is a lifelong decision

u/Sour_JollyRancher’s post about her boyfriend went pretty viral on the r/TwoHotTakes subreddit. Just in five days, it garnered more than 8k upvotes and over 2.5k comments. But the author tells us she wasn’t looking for online fame or advice, she just needed to vent.

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“I already made up my mind [about] the relationship ending. There was nothing that I came here for to gain perspective on and maybe change my mind or my decision. I don’t want kids so I’m not getting with somebody who wants or has kids. Point blank,” she explains simply.

The woman tells us that she decided she did not want children when she was around 16 years old. “I saw my mom taking care of kids and how it affected her and I did not want that,” she tells us.

With more and more women choosing to have child-free lives, the Redditor agrees that it’s important like-minded women share their experiences. Even though u/Sour_JollyRancher reiterated a few times in her post that she chose not to have children, some people still tried to chime in, claiming she would change her mind.

“If you see the comments on my post, I got [comments like] ‘Why are you getting married if you don’t want kids?’ Well, they’re not mutually exclusive. ‘You’ll change your mind.’ No, I made up my mind. ‘Your biological clock [will run out] and you’ll change your mind.’ No.”

“Men hear what they want to hear because I said none of that matters to me in the post and they said ‘Nah… we know what’s best’ As if they carry a child for nine months and [nine out of 10 times] the parenting is put on the mom,” the Redditor points out.

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Image credits: Polina Tankilevitch / pexels (not the actual photo)

The Redditor’s response to the breakup might’ve seemed level-headed and detached, but, in reality, she is heartbroken

In the comments, some people accused the author of being too nonchalant about her relationship ending. She addressed it in her original post, but she reiterated to us as well how hard the breakup has been on her.

“Even [now] I’m still heartbroken and I will be heartbroken for a long time. I was with him for three years,” the Redditor points out. “I did not feel that I was coming off as being cold or nonchalant about the situation because.”

“I tend to analyze what I’m feeling more than feeling what I’m feeling so,” she explains. “With this post, I just put out the simple facts. I genuinely don’t know why people said [that]. I was cold all because I didn’t explicitly say ‘I cried at this point’ or ‘I was bawling my eyes out at this point.'”

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After such an unexpected breakup, u/Sour_JollyRancher says she will be way more careful in the future. “This experience will make me more cautious in the future [about] making sure I am with someone who is 100% sure that they do not want kids. I mean. I’m going to grill them every single day.”

“I’m just kidding, but I will be more cautious on it because I don’t want to have another three-year four-year relationship and have it [end] because someone changed their mind. I might actively seek out men that [have] had a vasectomy so I don’t have to worry about it.”

Image credits: cottonbro studio / pexels (not the actual photo)

Many people have lived a similar story and shared it with the OP

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Many netizens praised the woman for how she handled the situation

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Kornelija Viečaitė

Kornelija Viečaitė

Writer, BoredPanda staff

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Hi there, fellow pandas! As a person (over)educated both in social sciences and literature, I'm most interested in how we connect and behave online (and sometimes in real life too.) The human experience is weird, so I try my best to put its peculiarities in writing. As a person who grew up chronically online, I now try to marry two sides of myself: the one who knows too much about MySpace, and the one who can't settle and needs to see every corner of the world.

Read less »
Kornelija Viečaitė

Kornelija Viečaitė

Writer, BoredPanda staff

Hi there, fellow pandas! As a person (over)educated both in social sciences and literature, I'm most interested in how we connect and behave online (and sometimes in real life too.) The human experience is weird, so I try my best to put its peculiarities in writing. As a person who grew up chronically online, I now try to marry two sides of myself: the one who knows too much about MySpace, and the one who can't settle and needs to see every corner of the world.

Gabija Saveiskyte

Gabija Saveiskyte

Author, BoredPanda staff

Read more »

Hi there! I am a Visual Editor at Bored Panda. My job is to ensure that all the articles are aesthetically pleasing. I get to work with a variety of topics ranging from all the relationship drama to lots and lots of memes and, my personal favorites, funny cute cats. When I am not perfecting the images, you can find me reading with a cup of matcha latte and a cat in my lap, taking photos (of my cat), getting lost in the forest, or simply cuddling with my cat... Did I mention that I love cats?

Read less »

Gabija Saveiskyte

Gabija Saveiskyte

Author, BoredPanda staff

Hi there! I am a Visual Editor at Bored Panda. My job is to ensure that all the articles are aesthetically pleasing. I get to work with a variety of topics ranging from all the relationship drama to lots and lots of memes and, my personal favorites, funny cute cats. When I am not perfecting the images, you can find me reading with a cup of matcha latte and a cat in my lap, taking photos (of my cat), getting lost in the forest, or simply cuddling with my cat... Did I mention that I love cats?

What do you think ?
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melaniediane avatar
CanadianDimes
Community Member
1 week ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Even if she was on the fence about the issue, he called her a b*tch and a c*nt so all bets are off. He verbally abuses her when he doesn't get his way? Nope. And her family saying she already had three years in the relationship? So what? That's sunk costs fallacy. It doesn't matter if it was 3 months, 3 years, or 3 decades. Just because she put time into the relationship does not obligate her to stay in it.

jlkooiker avatar
lenka
Community Member
1 week ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This totally this. His behavior at being told no is a massive red flag. Even if he comes around and says he doesn't want kids could you really commit to a person that abuses you like this? The whole thing reeks of gaslighting.

Load More Replies...
dorits avatar
doredde
Community Member
1 week ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The thing that mostly annoys me is that he assumed that it is "natural" for every woman to want to have kids. It is not. Some people, women AND men just don´t want to have children, for various reasons. PERIOD. I divorced my husband for the exact same reason. He "knew"(obviously didn´t believe me) that I did not want to have kids. He cheated and got his now wife pregnant while we were still married. And men in general not wanting or letting women deciding what to "do" with their body is a thing that goes on my nerves. I had to "discuss" the wish to have removed my uterus for several health problems during my menopause with my gyn again and again for 10 years. Just because he thought, maybe you will "change" your mind and wanting to have a child (with 45 years and ongoing!), even not being in a partnership AT ALL! And don´t get me started on abortion laws. Take women serious as independent human beings with a right to make decisions for themselves!

sknutz avatar
featherytoad
Community Member
1 week ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Your first three sentences. I knew from a very early age that I didn't want kids. I mean, I knew it in my core. Someone gave me a baby doll when I was like five or something, and I hated that thing, I never played with it.

Load More Replies...
hannahtaylor_2 avatar
BrownEyedPanda
Community Member
1 week ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I don't think that the bf "changed his mind" about having children. He's always wanted children, and thought that he could just bide his time until he could get OP in a position from which she couldn't extricate herself. Good old-fashioned baby trapping. The name calling is what tipped me off; their marriage would have been a highly abusive one. OP dodged a misogynistic firing squad; good for her.

sandiaharrison avatar
Watermelon
Community Member
1 week ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm not so sure. People do change their minds. Why would he say he had been thinking about it for "about a year"? There is enough wrong with the bf's attitude, no need to read into it further. OP did the right thing to break it off.

Load More Replies...
Load More Comments
melaniediane avatar
CanadianDimes
Community Member
1 week ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Even if she was on the fence about the issue, he called her a b*tch and a c*nt so all bets are off. He verbally abuses her when he doesn't get his way? Nope. And her family saying she already had three years in the relationship? So what? That's sunk costs fallacy. It doesn't matter if it was 3 months, 3 years, or 3 decades. Just because she put time into the relationship does not obligate her to stay in it.

jlkooiker avatar
lenka
Community Member
1 week ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This totally this. His behavior at being told no is a massive red flag. Even if he comes around and says he doesn't want kids could you really commit to a person that abuses you like this? The whole thing reeks of gaslighting.

Load More Replies...
dorits avatar
doredde
Community Member
1 week ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The thing that mostly annoys me is that he assumed that it is "natural" for every woman to want to have kids. It is not. Some people, women AND men just don´t want to have children, for various reasons. PERIOD. I divorced my husband for the exact same reason. He "knew"(obviously didn´t believe me) that I did not want to have kids. He cheated and got his now wife pregnant while we were still married. And men in general not wanting or letting women deciding what to "do" with their body is a thing that goes on my nerves. I had to "discuss" the wish to have removed my uterus for several health problems during my menopause with my gyn again and again for 10 years. Just because he thought, maybe you will "change" your mind and wanting to have a child (with 45 years and ongoing!), even not being in a partnership AT ALL! And don´t get me started on abortion laws. Take women serious as independent human beings with a right to make decisions for themselves!

sknutz avatar
featherytoad
Community Member
1 week ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Your first three sentences. I knew from a very early age that I didn't want kids. I mean, I knew it in my core. Someone gave me a baby doll when I was like five or something, and I hated that thing, I never played with it.

Load More Replies...
hannahtaylor_2 avatar
BrownEyedPanda
Community Member
1 week ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I don't think that the bf "changed his mind" about having children. He's always wanted children, and thought that he could just bide his time until he could get OP in a position from which she couldn't extricate herself. Good old-fashioned baby trapping. The name calling is what tipped me off; their marriage would have been a highly abusive one. OP dodged a misogynistic firing squad; good for her.

sandiaharrison avatar
Watermelon
Community Member
1 week ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm not so sure. People do change their minds. Why would he say he had been thinking about it for "about a year"? There is enough wrong with the bf's attitude, no need to read into it further. OP did the right thing to break it off.

Load More Replies...
Load More Comments
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