There's a Latin idiom that sounds like this: Noli equi dentes inspicere donati. Meaning, you don't look a gift horse in the mouth. A guy named John Heywood supposedly used this phrase in some Middle English text way back in 1546 but some experts think it's much older than that.
Since a horse's teeth can reveal a lot about the animal, including its age, checking its mouth would be a sign of mistrust towards the gift giver. This would be bad manners. So let's do that.
We at Bored Panda discovered a couple of Reddit posts (one and two) that asked users essentially the same question: what was the worst thing you received for Christmas? So given that the holidays are just around the corner and some of us will have to force a fake smile while unpacking our presents, here are a few memorable times when people were immensely disappointed by theirs.
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My grandmother bought me a little piano book when I was about 10. It was meant for a 6 yr old. It had some little electric buttons on it to look like a numbered piano, and nursery rhymes with numbers over the words so you could play the songs.
Things like Three Blind Mice and Twinkle Twinkle Little Star. It was a real baby present, and as soon as she gave it to me she was immediately embarrassed and offered to exchange it for something for an older kid. I guess she was also embarrassed because we lived 1000km away and didn't see each other very much and probably remembered me as a younger kid.
I learnt every f**king one of those songs.
She died 18 years ago now. I still miss her so much.
It was a shirt that had "I'm not a gynecologist but I'll take a look anyway". It was from my stepdad's mom. She knows I want to be a doctor and her English is no bueno. I found it hilarious. Once we translated it to her she almost cried from embarrassment. I proudly wore it for the rest of the day.
Every year my Mom would take us all to Dollar Tree to buy one gift for each member of the family. At the time there was five of us kids plus Mom and Dad so we would get 5-6 presents all worth a dollar each. Christmas, we would sit around and take turns opening them. Eventually this would turn into gags as we got older.
One year I thought it would be a funny idea to give my brother and brother in-law a s***ty can of beef stew... My brother in-law was so pissed off (he was a serious fellow). At first I didn’t know why and was in shock. I didn’t think a can of soup was that bad. Turns out my dumbass bought them Gravy Train a can of dog food. Which turned out to be hilarious to everyone else who were mocking me. My brother and I took it a step further though and decided we would try a few bites. It was the most awful thing ever. Wet, slimy, chunks, of puréed grit that makes me gag thinking about it but we were “tough” and could not show our disgust to the other.
When my sister first got married (to the serious fellow) we each got her pregnancy tests which turned out pretty fun.
All of our gifts we could have perceived to be the worse. Honestly it did suck sometimes seeing kids at school with iPods. None were great, most were thrown away or broken minutes after receiving them. We were poor. What started out as a $20 Christmas for Mom and Dad has created years of fun memories.
A giftcard to a lingerie store from my grandma. The f**ked up part wasn't the gift itself, but the fact that she made my poor 19 year old brother go in and buy it. As he told it, the conversation went something like this: Cashier: "shopping for your girlfriend?" Brother: "no, my sister...well my grandma..." Awkward silence...
Christmas morning around the tree with my family and gf at the time. We are all opening presents and I open one from my gf. I unwrap the box and inside I find a flat billed baseball hat. Strange, I neither wear hats, nor give a s**t about the team whose logo was plastered on the front, let alone the sport. So, I pull it out and hold it up so everyone [but mainly my gf] could see. All the adults give a quizzical look. Even my little sister makes a 'huh?' face.
*You say, "But totes, maybe it was gift to a male friend. Are you against your gf having male friends??" No, I am not. Just wait:
So I say something like, "uh thanks, hun." Her face drains of color. She says 'oops, that is for some one else, must have brought it inside on accident.' Then snatches it out of my hands.
And then I hold out the card that was attached to the wrapping: Hey baby, love ya lots. Merry Christmas.
And to clarify; yes, she was cheating. I guess there were tickets to some big upcoming game tucked inside the hat too. Needless to say it was f**king embarrassing to have to essentially break up with your gf in front of your family on Christmas morning.
*Typos and s**t: am not a writer.
**And Happy Holidays to you too!
Grandma got me a pair of jeans that were way too small with a card that read "Lose some weight, then maybe you will fit into these".
I was beyond furious, and our relationship was never the same. I didn't shed a tear when she passed away.
When I was 15, I really wanted a dog. My mom knew this.
Cue Christmas morning. After we had opened any other presents, my mom came back with one last one...it was a wrapped box with holes in the sides, bouncing/moving some, and puppy barks of cuteness.
I got sooooo excited to open it and meet my new best friend. When I opened it, it had a stuffed animal puppy (not taxidermized...), a bumble ball toy, and a small tape recorder with puppy barks.
My heart sank and I just sat there and cried.
I had left some video games in my mom's room, she found them and assumed my dad had bought them as Christmas gifts for me. So for Christmas, I got... my own games.
I know someone who had their phone confiscated by their parents and ended up getting it back as their Christmas present and nothing else. Whist her twin sisters were spoilt rotten.
My uncle got me a giant block of cement once. He put random things throughout the block and gave me a miniature hammer and chisel. I actually chiseled through the whole thing and found some coins and what appeared to be a arrowhead. My uncle is the strange one in our family.
My mother is terrible at gift giving. She shops for others with herself in mind, not them, so everyone gets s**t she likes but they don't. Or she buys it in March and then can't find it come December, and your gift is her telling you that's what happened. Or she'll buy, say, a book trilogy in an art box, and she'll give each book one holiday at a time, then the final gift will be the box.
As I grew older, I started seeing this. I never got anything that I specifically asked for, possibly a close approximate at best. I figured it was because nothing I asked for interested her, so I tried something: I asked for something that she would be into.
I asked for a Bible. I specified the brand, the translation, hardback/paperback, and the book cover including the color scheme. I got exactly what I asked for, down to the last detail.
I kept it as a reminder of what not to do to my kids.
It was the first Christmas my father and current stepmother had together. My step siblings each got a new laptop computer, I got a $20 gift card to McDonalds.
My dad bought my mom an actual human skull for Christmas a few years back. He wrapped it in a box some toy came in. My parents are weird; this wouldn't have raised an eyebrow at my house. Unfortunately we did our gift exchange at my maternal grandmothers who is much less creative with gifts. My dad and brother waited for this to be the last gift given. It was a big presentation. Upon opening it my mom squealed and shoved it back in the box. She was excited but knew it would t go over well. Of course now everyone wants to know what is in the box. My grandma insists my mom take out the mysterious gift and show it to the room. My aunt started screaming, made her kids leave the room. My grandma almost fainted and told us to get it out of the house immediately. 'Twas hilarious.
tldr my dad se7en'd my mom on Christmas in a hilarious fashion.
Oh God, there was a real human skeleton in one of my college anatomy classes, and it was impossible to forget that it was from a real formerly living human. The professor said it was India, so everyone called it "Mr. Patel" in acknowledgement of its former humanity, and kept their distance. Who the hell would want human body parts at home!
My grandmother gave my boyfriend a coffee mug with a German Shepherd dog on it. He has never owned nor expressed any interest in German Shepherds.
He uses it at work. It's a great conversation starter.
"Oh do you have a German Shepherd?"
"No."
"..."
I got a book called "Coping with Being Adopted" from Santa while I was in high school. Was news to me....
I had mentioned to my uncle one year that I wished I could grow a beard like his. Come Christmas time my uncle hands me the present he got me. I unwrap it and what do you know...It's his beard in a Ziploc bag.
When I was 13 I was taking drum lessons and was desperate for my own kit.
My mum worked at the Early Learning Centre (preschool age kids shop for non-UK chaps). Mum and Dad got me this little plastic toy drum and made me play a tune on it.
I tried my best not to look upset, I failed and stopped just short of bursting in to tears.
Turned out to be a sick joke, the drums were wrapped up in the dining room.
This wasn't my gift, but it was the most awkward situation ever. So a few years ago my grandma had her legs amputated. Don't feel bad, since then, her health has improved a ton. Anyway, last Christmas my Aunt bought her socks. It was sooo awful
Book about how to take criticism, gifted by my mother-in-law.
When I still lived with my parents they got me a cards against humanity deck. Right after I opened it they told me I’m not allowed to play it until I turned 18. I was 15 at the time
My cousin had died in a drunk driving accident a few months before, so my mom got me a breathalyzer keychain. It wouldn't have been so bad, but the card it came with said it was "from" my cousin.. I see what my mom was trying to do, but still f**ked up, IMO.
This is like parents who want to take their kids to the burn unit to explain how dangerous fire is. Ugh!
A calendar with half nude pictures of my father and stepmother
I am going to answer for my sister. When I was about five (making her nine) our uncle/aunt/cousin family asked me what my sister liked. I had no idea. All I knew was she liked to yell at me. So I dumbly replied she like hair ties. For Christmas that year my sister received an assortment of an insanely high number, like two hundred different high ties, scrunches, ect. She didn't let me live that down for a looong time.
Aw, that's on them for letting the five year old pick the present. Apparently at nine, your sister was already difficult to shop for. At least you didn't suggest anything cruel or self-serving. Hair ties was a fine guess.
My grandma gave me bright red undies with googly eyes on them and an extra piece of black cloth to put your d**k inside as the "nose"....I'm a girl.
My mother passed away when I was in high school. One of the years after she passed, my dad kinda-sorta forgot to buy me a big Christmas present. So I came downstairs, went to get my stocking (we still do stockings), and pulled out a fistful of 20s. He'd run to the ATM early that morning so I'd have something.
The cash was great and all, but at the time, it felt awful because I just missed my mom, and wished we could have a "proper" Christmas.
Poor dad wad depressed and couldn't get his head around doing Christmas
Every year my family does a secret Santa on Christmas. When i was about 10 my aunt had to buy me a gift. So Christmas morning i open my gift, and i find a Christmas sweater along with a pair of my aunts s**t stained underwear. Apparently she was doing laundry and wrapping gifts at the same time and got the two mixed up.
Probably a box of my grandmother's ashes wrapped to look like a gift.
My mother did this.
My parents got me an acoustic guitar one Christmas. Problem: my brother was the one who asked for a guitar, not me. So essentially my Christmas present was seeing my brother absolutely gutted. Meanwhile I had to pretend I was happy. Awkward.
My Mom rarely cared what gift we might actually want or what our personal tastes were and most often she would select a gift based on her own personal tastes. In the late-80's she decided to buy me a stereo as the main/large gift for whatever reason and she selected a Fisher Price (the children's toy brand) turn table (record player). This is after CD players were invented and of course nobody played records any more. The worst part was that she decided to treat this stereo as some sophisticated equipment that was too good for a child to play with so after Christmas she stored it, in it's original box, in our attic where it has remained until this day. It was supposed to just be stored there until some arbitrary time but my Mom is a huge procrastinator and that time never came. I'm still salty that she wasted all the money on that stupid gift rather than on something I might have enjoyed and actually got to use.
Grandms got me a douche and a hospital gown that "would make a nice dress if someone sewed it all up" for me. That was weird.
Sounds like Grandma got her gifts free from the hospital that year!
Piles and piles and piles of Star Trek tots when I was like, 10 or something.
Star Trek action figures.
Star Trek micro machines.
Die cast Star Trek ships.
Star Trek puzzles.
Star Trek toys.
Star Trek everything.
...I asked for Star Wars toys.
A couple years ago my dad registered me to see a few of my favorite shows taped in NYC. I got super excited about it but then realized that he wouldn’t be paying for anything and expected me to stay with my narcissistic grandma in New Jersey who I avoid as much as possible. Then I found out that not only were the tickets to see the tapings free, but he had already told my grandma I’d be staying with her and she had all sorts of yard work and stuff ready for me to do for her once I arrived. Obviously, I didn’t go and my dad is still bitter that I didn’t appreciate his gift.
When I was a kid, my grandma heavily favored me over my little sister. One year she bought me a cool set of pokemon, which was my absolute favorite thing at the time. She bought my sister a weasel ball, ie a toy meant for cats.
Oh sh… I bought myself a weasel ball once, didn’t know it was meant for cats!
My mom uses christmas presents to tell us where she thinks we rank in the family. One year she got me a woman's coat (I'm a middle aged man). Another year she got all the grandkids pajamas. She got me the same thing, kid's pajamas sized small (I'm 6-1 and almost 200 pounds).
When I was 8 I got a lighter from my grandmother...
I am not done yet.
On the lighter was a marijuana leaf and it said "Natures way of staying high"
My grandmother had thought it was a cartoon of a plant giving a high-five, and I thought it said "Natures way of saying high" with "high" as in "hi" with a plant hand.
I was 12 when my Grandmother bought me a bong. It was another year or so before it became "useful".
My father decided that it was a great idea to give his medically constipated son toilet paper and wet wipes in front of the whole family as a "joke".
Why does anyone think it's funny to embarrass their own children?! If you wish to have a quality relationship with your kids once they're grown, don't treat them like crap when they're kids, ffs.
My grandmother was a piece of work. One year myself and my two cousins were at her house for Christmas morning. All the family was there and there was a big, gorgeous pile of presents wrapped in the corner. We (me and my cousins) were promptly told that those gifts were for the other grandchildren. When we gave our grandma the blank stare of confused children, she hurried back into her room, threw an old ziplock bag down at the ground between us (full of half used nail polish and broken jewelry) and told us Merry Christmas.
Ex GF gave me book on the history of gunpowder. I admit I enjoyed it as it was an interesting read. Problem was, I had already read it two months prior, because she had already given me a copy as my birthday gift.
Three years ago I got a shake weight christmas morning. When I opened it my dad laughed and yelled "it's for practice when you get bored in the dorms" while making a jacking-off/handjob gesture in front of my grandparents..
I grew up really poor and received some batteries for an old toy car I already had lol. Looking back at it it's kind of funny but I remember crying when that happened. I was 7
I was not the recipient of this gift but my uncle, who had 6 children at the time, was given a very large box of condoms from my aunt (his sister) . My cousins were not impressed.
When I was sixteen years old, my sister gave me a copy of "He's Just Not Into You." I had just broken up with my first ever boyfriend. Since my birthday is in early January, it was also my birthday present, BTW.
It's stories like this one that make me really thankful sometimes that I am an only child.
When I was in sixth grade in 1995 my parents got me a CD case.
I didn’t have any CDs.
Worth it just for "The Dollar Album" (and the Dollar "Greatest Hits" underneath it).
10 bibles.
Not all at once, but every year from the time I was 6 through 16, my uncle gave me a bible for Christmas.
Every. single. year.
The same exact edition or a different edition each year? Just wondering, yes I'm aware they all say the same thing with varying words.
For a secret Santa I received two of those free promotional tickets to the science museum that had already expired.
my grandparents are notorious regifters. there was this old, broken pinball game thing that every time they'd gift to one of us, we'd leave it at their house. then they would find it and gift it again in a couple of years, as we'd forgotten. one time they gave my mom three wine glasses. one was chipped.
Should have taken the junk with you, so they'd run out of stuff to regift.
When I was 5 or 6 I gave my brother his own Teddy bear. I wanted to give him something I knew he’d love so a week before Christmas I hid his favorite bear and wrapped it up. He was upset that he couldn’t find his bear but even more upset on Christmas when he realized the reason he couldn’t find his bear was because his dumb ass brother thought it would make a good Christmas present.
Not me, but about my brother. In high school, he was caught sleeping over at a girl's house and didn't grab all of his clothes before he left. My parents were really upset with him for this. They contacted the girl's family, wrapped them up in a huge box, and gave it to him.
The look on his face was a painful mix of shame, anger, and sadness.
My parents always did a Christmas auction at their house with little gifts and silly ones. I spent $700 monopoly money on frozen cat crap.
Sorry, but that one made me laugh! I'm assuming it was a joke present.
I didn't see my grandpa THAT often as a kid. So whenever he bought presents for me and my brothers they were always the cliche, "terrible grandparents gifts."
One year, I remember he got me this INCREDIBLY freaky porcelain jester babysitting cross-legged on a pillow. When you wound up the key on the back, it would slowly start spinning at the hips while playing a song from a tiny internal music box. It made the best torment fuel against my brothers for a long time though. So that was good.
My (divorced) parents pooled their money to buy me a gameboy colour. The problem was they’d already got me a gameboy colour, but I guess they didn’t understand that it was the same one and thought it was new.
They both looked so excited as I opened it I didn’t have the heart to tell them. So I just kept playing my one game on my new game boy colour.
One year my parents and all of my aunts, uncles, and grandparents gave me scented lotion. I guess they all thought that's what you get 14 y/o girls?
Yup. When everyone gives you the exact same generic present, that's when you know you're difficult to shop for. Throughout the year, drop hints, point out things you like, compliment things. If it happens again the next year, work on expanding your relationships to people who really listen to you. Presents don't have to be expensive, but they should be thoughtful.
In the late 70's, all the cool kids wore Ocean Pacific brand clothing. We were kinda poor so my mom and grandma made most of our clothes. My grandma made me pants and hand stitched the letters O and P on the pockets. Looked nothing like the real thing. I had to wear them.
Pink panties from my crazy grandpa. I'm a guy. It was back when I was twelve, that awkward middle school age.
My aunt got my mom a wine glass that holds an entire bottle of wine.
My mom is diabetic...
A wooden pop out play set from my aunt, recommended age was 2-4, I was 14.
Toothpaste. Apparently it wasnt even that my breath stank, we were just out of toothpaste.
We're not friends anymore and haven't been for more then ten years now. However we were very very close from ages 12 to 25. One Christmas when we were 18 her present to me was a wrapped up VHS taped I had loaned her years before and she had forgotten it was actually my tape of Wayne's World I was now getting back as she tried to pass it off as an actual gift.
Some friend, gifting a vhs movie she knew was never hers to begin with.
One Christmas, my 4 year old brother got a TV with a DVD and VHS player in it, my sister got a computer.... and I got a bookshelf. I was pissed. My sister didn't even like computers, wtf?
I guess to add insult to injury, a few years later she was given a printer. Like, she had a big heavy gift, she got all pumped in the days preceding xmas, and when she opened it, it was a printer. She cried. For like an hour. It was terrible.
On the upside, we really needed a new printer.
My uncle presented my family with a very large gourd once. In the middle of a restaurant. No one wanted it. We left it there.
I was dating this girl. She knew I was self conscious about my teeth (I have fluorosis), so I wouldn't smile very much. When I did, I'd try really hard to hide my teeth. Well, this girl's family bought me a toothbrush. It even had my name on it.
My mom took me to her boyfriend’s family Christmas party in rural Michigan once. Someone gave me The Year in Clemson Football: 1993.
It was very nice that someone thought enough to give me a gift but 9-year-old me really struggled with the logic behind the purchase.
Years back my cousin bought me a rifle case. I had never owned a gun nor expressed interest in it. Just an empty rifle case.
One year for Christmas my aunt gave identical cuckoo clocks to my parents, my brother, and me and my husband. It was just confusing. We've never asked her about it.
Must have been going cheep! Either that, or Auntie is going s little bit cuckoo herself.
I once got a used copy of the Snakes on a Plane soundtrack. Upon later investigation, the disk was cracked. The next year I received a copy of the movie. I have never expressed an interest in SoaP.
I received a dictionary from my parents with the price sticker was still stuck on it, they bought it for 5 dollars. I wasn't even mad I didn't get anything the year before
My first Christmas with my inlaws everyone got really nice expensive gifts. I got a bottle of lotion with the $2 clearance sticker still on it. I didn't mind the price but the smug look on my mother in laws face let me know I would never be a part of her family... and I'm still treated that way.
The same exact set of the same exact scent of axe stuff my grandma gets me every year. F**k axe.
My non-favorite grandparents once gave me a Peter Parker doll when I was like 17. I mean a doll too. I could undress him if I so pleased. He didn't come with a Spidey costume either haha
My little sister who collected beanie babies used to give me, who did not collect beanie babies, beanie babies....
A set of salt and pepper shakers... the gifts were donated to us and I don’t know how they forgot my parents had 4 kids
Reading some of these stories...I appreciate Vietnamese culture to absolutely under no circumstances open gifts in front of the one gifting you. Either bc you are not good at keeping a straight face or bc sometimes not even a straight face would rescue the situation and the gifter just looses face. :D
This is a depressing thread. But it makes me appreciate my parents. They weren't always great but they tried, poured tons of love, time and money into us - and we always had great gifts at christmas. Not many, but good ones.
The year my Aunt Doll mixed up mailing labels and accidentally sent me the "honeymoon starter pack" intended for Cousin Denise while 3 states away my soon to be married cousin is trying to figure out why she's getting She-ra action figures a month before her wedding.
I sent my 3 year-old nephew a Williams Sonoma cookbook and watched my mother open Curious George Goes to the Zoo on Christmas morning. Whoops.
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Seems a lot of people use gift giving as a way to express passive aggressive family issues. That's humiliating and childish
Well. My mom (75 yo) is VERY excited about my new bf and our first xmas together. He and I are in our mid 30s. She's knows he plays the guitar so she called me and asked me if he would like a jean jacket with a guitar embroidered on the back. Mom, no, just no! lol (sure somewhere there is a a hipster dying to wear this item in an ironic way, but that's not my bf.) Thank goodness she asked. I persuaded her to get him some locally made chocolates instead.
We didn’t have much money so christmas presents were mostly to restock on clothes and shoes. Since I was about 12 I would get stuff for my dowry. In my country dowry wasn’t even a thing anymore but while my brother got new jeans, hoodie or trainers, I got set of drinking glasses, silverware, hand crocheted table doilies, towels and similar stuff. I had to get my first job at 14 just so I can buy myself some charity shop clothes because I had literally nothing to wear. I moved to another country at 23 leaving my “dowry” crap behind.
I'm American, but my great-grandma was obsessed with making me a Hope Chest. It's the same concept: you get big chest (wooden box) and start filling it with things you will need when you get married and start a family. She didn't just do it for Christmas, she would randomly give me stuff throughout the year and tell me to put it in my Hope Chest. She was born in 1918, and I know she was just trying to help me. I regifted some of the items, sold some of them, and kept some of them. We were very poor too, and I started doing odd jobs around the neighborhood to buy shoes when I was very young (around 10, I think). I was born in the 80s, and my mom was a bit archaic too. She made me take etiquette classes, and riding lessons, even though we really couldn't afford it. She would say, "Better skills can land you a better man." Gross! I don't fault her for that, though; she was trying to give me a better life.
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My girlfriend is getting a book about how to accept God and become not queer anymore. My transgender lesbian girlfriend. She got excited and peeked at her gifts from her parents early and that’s what she’s getting. My heart bleeds for my sweetheart… I got her a necklace with a galaxy design on it and a ring with stars because she loves jewelry and outer space :)
Violet, I'm so sorry your girlfriend isn't being accepted and supported by her biological family. But life has shown me that we can choose another family when we're old enough, and it sounds like you're the start of her new, chosen, family. I can't think of a better gift - to give or receive. Many blessings to you both. ☺️
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I don't have a horrible gift story but my dad was an auto mechanic so I'd get a huge box,unwrap it and box says fuel tank. But there's a smaller box wrapped inside. Unwrap oh a water pump. But another box lnside like Russian dolls. After 4 or 5 boxes I'd get a tiny box of earrings or something. Made it impossible to guess my gifts too. This is my first Christmas without him. Feels very odd 😥 His mother dutifully sent me a $5 check for Xmas every year that dutifully bounced every year.
Me and my brothers would do that to my dad with one gift every Christmas. Sometimes we would put a brick in it to make it heavy, or wrap the outermost package in an odd shape. He loved it. We had a falling out, and didn't spend time with him for years. In his later years, he made an effort to reconnect with us. He told me one day that he missed getting his Russian doll presents, so we started doing it again until he died. The holidays always seem odd after a loved one dies. You expect them to always be there. It will be ok, though. You will get through it. Just hang on to the memories. He would want you to be happy. Sending you virtual hugs!
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Back in the old days (1980's), before cameras were digital and phones only hung on the wall, we asked my in-laws for a point & shoot 35mm camera. Our kids were toddlers and we wanted something we could quickly grab and snap a pic when the kids were being cute. My MIL was one to get you what you asked for, so she bought a pretty nice camera. On Christmas morning we opened the gift and found their much used P&S camera in a box. It turns out they liked "our" camera so much they decided to keep it and give us theirs. Over 30 years later I still shake my head over this one.
Wow! I often buy presents and then decided I want that item myself. But I go ahead and give the gift I bought, then buy myself another one later.
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My wife's grandmother was very generous. Piles of beautiful presents, but one year when she was mentally slipping, she took all of our presents away after we opened them and gave them to my BIL and SIL. They did NOT return them to us later.
The BIL and SIL not giving them back is more messed up than what the grandma did.
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I thought the really simple babies colouring books and big crayons i usually get were bad (im 25 but my relatives i dont see often think i like baby things because i have autism) but these are AWFUL!! This year i’ll be grateful for my colouring book and colour in all the trains and teddies! 😳
I work with autistic individuals. We are supposed to work on life skills, but most of my day involves explaining to families, for the millionth time, that their loved one is just like everyone else! It's ok to like things that are "immature"; I'm almost 40, and I like Spongebob. But people shouldn't make assumptions. Everyone is different, and we should ask them what they like. One guy I worked with, told me he likes scary stories, so I bought him an Edgar Allan Poe collection. He can read, and he asked for it. His mom thought it was too mature for him. He is 20. We had to have another conversation about individuality that day.
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People in my family are so fussy and so darn choosy that they never like what they get for Christmas. I got enough of people rolling their eyes when they open the gifts I gave them. I keep asking myself, why am I spending a lot of my time to find "just the right thing" and spending money I could put elsewhere on these people?... So I started giving them Walmart gift cards. There are 100,000 items in the store to choose from, or the cards can be redeemed for cash which can then be added to their own money to buy something even more expensive and desirable if they prefer. Even this was not good enough. The ungrateful people considered themselves disrespected because I didn't put any time, effort, research, and money into making them happy. Huh? Why am I doing this again? It really got awkward as everyone got older. I got fed up with this. So the family adopted a new rule that I suggested: No adult gifts exchanged anymore. Christmas is for kids. They like everything, so only give xmas gifts to the kids from now on. Finish problem.
My ex's family was like that (including my ex); they turned their nose up at everything I bought them that first Christmas. The next Christmas, I gave them all certificates that informed them that $20 had been donated to a charity in their name. They were so mad! It was hilarious. The aunt in that family was especially snobby. It has been twenty years since I have seen them, and I still send her a digital copy on Facebook of the donation that I make in her name every year. For some reason, she hasn't blocked me, but she keeps complaining about it on Facebook, so I keep doing it. Haha! EDIT: I'm not donating because of them; I donate to charities every year anyways. I just did it in their name to make a point. And I keep donating in the aunt's name because it continues to piss her off.
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For mother's day this year, I took my 5 yer old to pick out a present for his mom and grandmother. His mom got a 2 ft tall empty layer cake pinata. His grandma got a twerking "happy graduation" unicorn,
I’m sure they loved it. It’s great you teach your kid to appreciate their loved ones
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This is so depressing. Our family solved this ages ago. The kids: just ask them what they want. Everyone else: their favourite sweets/chocolates OR money or gift vouchers for a useful store that has basically everything so they can choose what they want. My kids' grandparents just give them money, they don't even try guess what the kids want. Much better.
About 15 years ago, got this wonderful caricature of hockey legend Mark Messier in a Rangers uniform. Unfortunately, I'm a NJ Devils fan. This right on the heels of a leather jacket which didn't fit and was exactly the type that I do not like.
One good thing about the jacket is there's lots of people who are less fortunate that could use it.
Load More Replies... What is with people born in early January getting a Christmas gift that was also their birthday gift?? I was born in late December (a few days after Christmas) and all my gifts are separate…
I was born in early January, my family was poor, and I've never gotten a combo gift. I work with a family who have two sons with birthdays only two days from Christmas (one before, and after), and that family did a combo Christmas/birthday party for both kids every year, and combo gifts for each kid. They are not poor. When the kids realized that I had no qualms about standing up to their parents on serious issues, they asked me to back them up when they told their parents they hated it. The parents were mad at first, because it would mean having three parties in one week. I suggested a compromise: Have the "before" birthday party one week before Christmas, and have the "after" birthday party one week after Christmas. Then it isn't all smashed into one week. They all agreed that would be feasible.
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My ex's aunt gifted me a baby's cologne in a very big plastic bottle shaped as Minnie, because she had heard I liked cartoons. What I liked was manga... The fragance is so distinctive, everybody knows it and that it's specifically for babies, so I couldn't use it either. I thanked her because she didn't know the difference and I didn't had the heart to tell her. I thought about giving it to some kid that would actually enjoy it but mom said gifting it to others was being cheap, so I guess it's still around 10 years later, stored somewhere... If I ever find it I'll definitely give it to some kid, there's no point in keeping it...
Regifting is not necessarily being cheap. I regift cologne, lotions, and scented bath items because I can't use them; I have sensitive skin. I know people don't remember this, and I appreciate the gifts. My neighbors love them, though; especially this one old lady down the street. I know she uses it, because I can smell it on her when I visit. I love the smells, I just can't use it on my skin. Last year my family didn't exchange gifts, so I had nothing to regifted. I went to the store and got a set of lotions for that neighbor.
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My brother once gave me his old broken telescope. An aunt gave my son a roll of wallpaper from a charity shop. Same aunt gave my daughter some second hand waterproofs from the same charity shop.
Years ago our next door neighbor lost his ring finger due to a nail sticking out from a basketball backboard. My mom wanted to buy him an album so she asked the clerk what’s a good album to get. She bought him the new Rolling Stones album. When he opened his gift he began to laugh and told my mom that it’s morbidly funny that she bought him this. My mom’s like, “what?” Turns out that it’s was their “Sticky Fingers” LP that she gave him and my mom was so embarrassed!
It probably makes me the bad family member but as I've gotten older, I've gotten pickier (I also blame a job I had that forced me to research product quality). I know what I like and all. I've asked family for the past 5 years not to get me anything, I'm happy with cards. They never listen. I'm happy to receive socks though.
My step dad bought me snow tires, they sat wrapped under the tree for a week...leaving me unable to drive.
I remember one Christmas wanting a doll to play with. I got a doll that had to be on a display stand. I remember another one wanting a lap top: I got a hand me down lap top from my sister's friend. (My younger step sister).
Worst gift ever......One year my grandma bought my brother a brand new very expensive custom Dell desktop computer (he was 14) and I (11) received a hodge podge of oil paints and small canvases that mostly were from a yard sale or thrift store. I want to note that I had no artistic inclination at all. When it became obvious I was upset, my grandma said it was because he was going to make something of himself and he needed for college. Now at 33 my brother is unemployed and has 2 kids and lives with my mom. Another year this same grandma wrapped up kitchen towels from the dollar store and said to keep until we were older because when we lived on our own we would need them as adults. I was 13 and my brother 16.
My LAST Christmas with my mother in law she gave all the daughter in laws Lenox gifts beautiful big boxes I got one too inside garbage bags and dish soap along with a slap from my husband for not being grateful . I left his sorry ass and his spiteful witch mother
She put your Lenox gift inside garbage bags? Or she gave you dish soap in a garbage bag? Either way, that's messed up. Also, I'm glad you left your abusive husband.
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As newlyweds, I mentioned once to husband that he has never bought me lingerie. Does he gift it to me alone on a romantic night so we could enjoy them? Of course not. It was his big extravagant Christmas gift to me in front of all the parents, aunts and uncles. To top it off, my MIL who I hardly know, requests that I put them on to model for everyone and she wasn’t joking. My dad and FIL turn pale and refuse to make eye contact. Great memory attached to my lingerie for sexy nights in the future. Husband wondered why I hardly wore them. SMH
In laws were the worst. I missed many Christmases as a child so as an adult having mean gifts hurt. I don't eat meat so one year they used a box with beef blood all over it, another year they had cut out mans pant from flyer and put it in a card with a few bucks ( I am a woman) Regifted a 20 year old sweater, faked giving a microwave, big box, bow, and bricks for weight, list goes on and on, very cruel people.
Every other year my mom gives me finger puppets... it started when I was 19 and now I'm 33. I got my brother a watch and by the time I gave it to him for Christmas the batteries had stopped working. He also has bad teeth and so I told my niece to get him a gag gift as well as a regular one and she got him a toothbrush but forgot to get a regular one lol. Luckily he found it hilarious 😂
The year my aunt decided that giving me feminine hygiene products was a good idea.
I always put a lot of thought into my gift giving for friends and family so it was very disheartening to get on book on Auschwitz from a long time friend last year. For Christmas !??? ,She is clueless and I'm still ticked off about it.
One of the weirdest gifts I've gotten was when I was around 12-14, in which I had a relative who gave me leggings that were specifically designed to show off your butt. I worry about what the hell they were thinking.
I don't understand people. My kids are all teens / young adults. Every year we tell them make a list. It's hard to keep track what they're into, what they were into, what they're definitely not into anymore etc. So I ask for a list and if they can attach links to said list that's even better. During the year if they say "oooh I really want this for my room / car / self whatever... I buy it and stash it and WRITE their name on it so I don't forget later. It's not that hard geeze.
All I could think of is that kids record player still new in the box is most likely worth far more than when it was bought. Time to get it out of the attic and let it get you something to enjoy.
In the 80s and 90s giving my father a gift was impossible! Being a young girl who wanted to make Daddy happy and really thinking about a meaningful gift meant nothing to him. I'd get something like a hat or key chain saying #1 dad. Well he'd make a disgusted face, say oh gee thanks and throw it across the room. Lucky for me he became a Jehovah's witness so I never had to go through that again..... wrong! He celebrates holidays when he feels like it. As an adult I bought my dad cologne. My fiance was there and was upset with my father's response, I didn't even notice being it was so normal to me. He said oh gee thanks another cologne. Surprisingly, he didn't throw it across the room but we were at a restaurant so that's probably why. Gotta love my dear old dad
When I was 17. My mother gave me a winter coat as a Christmas gift. It was nice but more her taste. I found out why real quick. I tried the coat on. Said thank you. And she asked if she could try it on. Then asked if she could borrow it that night to go see her be. Never saw the coat again. It was now hers.
My (now) ex's sister knew I am incredibly allergic to roses. Cue Christmas day. I open a gift set of rosewater and rose scented things as well as a candle with rose petals in it. Thanks. I hate it.
I gave my mom a character-themed makeup set a couple years ago, for a character she collects stuff of. I actually asked her if she wanted it for her collection and she said yes. So on Christmas that year, she opens it, and my sister is all snarky because the makeup is purple and mom doesn’t even wear makeup that often anyway, let alone purple. So from her perspective it was an awful gift, and it made me feel like s**t even though mom WANTED IT. :)
P.S. I held it together really well but cried later that day.
Load More Replies... Some of them, yes. But some of them were intentionally mean/bad.
Load More Replies... Reading some of these stories...I appreciate Vietnamese culture to absolutely under no circumstances open gifts in front of the one gifting you. Either bc you are not good at keeping a straight face or bc sometimes not even a straight face would rescue the situation and the gifter just looses face. :D
This is a depressing thread. But it makes me appreciate my parents. They weren't always great but they tried, poured tons of love, time and money into us - and we always had great gifts at christmas. Not many, but good ones.
The year my Aunt Doll mixed up mailing labels and accidentally sent me the "honeymoon starter pack" intended for Cousin Denise while 3 states away my soon to be married cousin is trying to figure out why she's getting She-ra action figures a month before her wedding.
I sent my 3 year-old nephew a Williams Sonoma cookbook and watched my mother open Curious George Goes to the Zoo on Christmas morning. Whoops.
Load More Replies... Seems a lot of people use gift giving as a way to express passive aggressive family issues. That's humiliating and childish
Well. My mom (75 yo) is VERY excited about my new bf and our first xmas together. He and I are in our mid 30s. She's knows he plays the guitar so she called me and asked me if he would like a jean jacket with a guitar embroidered on the back. Mom, no, just no! lol (sure somewhere there is a a hipster dying to wear this item in an ironic way, but that's not my bf.) Thank goodness she asked. I persuaded her to get him some locally made chocolates instead.
We didn’t have much money so christmas presents were mostly to restock on clothes and shoes. Since I was about 12 I would get stuff for my dowry. In my country dowry wasn’t even a thing anymore but while my brother got new jeans, hoodie or trainers, I got set of drinking glasses, silverware, hand crocheted table doilies, towels and similar stuff. I had to get my first job at 14 just so I can buy myself some charity shop clothes because I had literally nothing to wear. I moved to another country at 23 leaving my “dowry” crap behind.
I'm American, but my great-grandma was obsessed with making me a Hope Chest. It's the same concept: you get big chest (wooden box) and start filling it with things you will need when you get married and start a family. She didn't just do it for Christmas, she would randomly give me stuff throughout the year and tell me to put it in my Hope Chest. She was born in 1918, and I know she was just trying to help me. I regifted some of the items, sold some of them, and kept some of them. We were very poor too, and I started doing odd jobs around the neighborhood to buy shoes when I was very young (around 10, I think). I was born in the 80s, and my mom was a bit archaic too. She made me take etiquette classes, and riding lessons, even though we really couldn't afford it. She would say, "Better skills can land you a better man." Gross! I don't fault her for that, though; she was trying to give me a better life.
Load More Replies... My girlfriend is getting a book about how to accept God and become not queer anymore. My transgender lesbian girlfriend. She got excited and peeked at her gifts from her parents early and that’s what she’s getting. My heart bleeds for my sweetheart… I got her a necklace with a galaxy design on it and a ring with stars because she loves jewelry and outer space :)
Violet, I'm so sorry your girlfriend isn't being accepted and supported by her biological family. But life has shown me that we can choose another family when we're old enough, and it sounds like you're the start of her new, chosen, family. I can't think of a better gift - to give or receive. Many blessings to you both. ☺️
Load More Replies... I don't have a horrible gift story but my dad was an auto mechanic so I'd get a huge box,unwrap it and box says fuel tank. But there's a smaller box wrapped inside. Unwrap oh a water pump. But another box lnside like Russian dolls. After 4 or 5 boxes I'd get a tiny box of earrings or something. Made it impossible to guess my gifts too. This is my first Christmas without him. Feels very odd 😥 His mother dutifully sent me a $5 check for Xmas every year that dutifully bounced every year.
Me and my brothers would do that to my dad with one gift every Christmas. Sometimes we would put a brick in it to make it heavy, or wrap the outermost package in an odd shape. He loved it. We had a falling out, and didn't spend time with him for years. In his later years, he made an effort to reconnect with us. He told me one day that he missed getting his Russian doll presents, so we started doing it again until he died. The holidays always seem odd after a loved one dies. You expect them to always be there. It will be ok, though. You will get through it. Just hang on to the memories. He would want you to be happy. Sending you virtual hugs!
Load More Replies... Back in the old days (1980's), before cameras were digital and phones only hung on the wall, we asked my in-laws for a point & shoot 35mm camera. Our kids were toddlers and we wanted something we could quickly grab and snap a pic when the kids were being cute. My MIL was one to get you what you asked for, so she bought a pretty nice camera. On Christmas morning we opened the gift and found their much used P&S camera in a box. It turns out they liked "our" camera so much they decided to keep it and give us theirs. Over 30 years later I still shake my head over this one.
Wow! I often buy presents and then decided I want that item myself. But I go ahead and give the gift I bought, then buy myself another one later.
Load More Replies... My wife's grandmother was very generous. Piles of beautiful presents, but one year when she was mentally slipping, she took all of our presents away after we opened them and gave them to my BIL and SIL. They did NOT return them to us later.
The BIL and SIL not giving them back is more messed up than what the grandma did.
Load More Replies... I thought the really simple babies colouring books and big crayons i usually get were bad (im 25 but my relatives i dont see often think i like baby things because i have autism) but these are AWFUL!! This year i’ll be grateful for my colouring book and colour in all the trains and teddies! 😳
I work with autistic individuals. We are supposed to work on life skills, but most of my day involves explaining to families, for the millionth time, that their loved one is just like everyone else! It's ok to like things that are "immature"; I'm almost 40, and I like Spongebob. But people shouldn't make assumptions. Everyone is different, and we should ask them what they like. One guy I worked with, told me he likes scary stories, so I bought him an Edgar Allan Poe collection. He can read, and he asked for it. His mom thought it was too mature for him. He is 20. We had to have another conversation about individuality that day.
Load More Replies... People in my family are so fussy and so darn choosy that they never like what they get for Christmas. I got enough of people rolling their eyes when they open the gifts I gave them. I keep asking myself, why am I spending a lot of my time to find "just the right thing" and spending money I could put elsewhere on these people?... So I started giving them Walmart gift cards. There are 100,000 items in the store to choose from, or the cards can be redeemed for cash which can then be added to their own money to buy something even more expensive and desirable if they prefer. Even this was not good enough. The ungrateful people considered themselves disrespected because I didn't put any time, effort, research, and money into making them happy. Huh? Why am I doing this again? It really got awkward as everyone got older. I got fed up with this. So the family adopted a new rule that I suggested: No adult gifts exchanged anymore. Christmas is for kids. They like everything, so only give xmas gifts to the kids from now on. Finish problem.
My ex's family was like that (including my ex); they turned their nose up at everything I bought them that first Christmas. The next Christmas, I gave them all certificates that informed them that $20 had been donated to a charity in their name. They were so mad! It was hilarious. The aunt in that family was especially snobby. It has been twenty years since I have seen them, and I still send her a digital copy on Facebook of the donation that I make in her name every year. For some reason, she hasn't blocked me, but she keeps complaining about it on Facebook, so I keep doing it. Haha! EDIT: I'm not donating because of them; I donate to charities every year anyways. I just did it in their name to make a point. And I keep donating in the aunt's name because it continues to piss her off.
Load More Replies... For mother's day this year, I took my 5 yer old to pick out a present for his mom and grandmother. His mom got a 2 ft tall empty layer cake pinata. His grandma got a twerking "happy graduation" unicorn,
I’m sure they loved it. It’s great you teach your kid to appreciate their loved ones
Load More Replies... This is so depressing. Our family solved this ages ago. The kids: just ask them what they want. Everyone else: their favourite sweets/chocolates OR money or gift vouchers for a useful store that has basically everything so they can choose what they want. My kids' grandparents just give them money, they don't even try guess what the kids want. Much better.
About 15 years ago, got this wonderful caricature of hockey legend Mark Messier in a Rangers uniform. Unfortunately, I'm a NJ Devils fan. This right on the heels of a leather jacket which didn't fit and was exactly the type that I do not like.
One good thing about the jacket is there's lots of people who are less fortunate that could use it.
Load More Replies... What is with people born in early January getting a Christmas gift that was also their birthday gift?? I was born in late December (a few days after Christmas) and all my gifts are separate…
I was born in early January, my family was poor, and I've never gotten a combo gift. I work with a family who have two sons with birthdays only two days from Christmas (one before, and after), and that family did a combo Christmas/birthday party for both kids every year, and combo gifts for each kid. They are not poor. When the kids realized that I had no qualms about standing up to their parents on serious issues, they asked me to back them up when they told their parents they hated it. The parents were mad at first, because it would mean having three parties in one week. I suggested a compromise: Have the "before" birthday party one week before Christmas, and have the "after" birthday party one week after Christmas. Then it isn't all smashed into one week. They all agreed that would be feasible.
Load More Replies... My ex's aunt gifted me a baby's cologne in a very big plastic bottle shaped as Minnie, because she had heard I liked cartoons. What I liked was manga... The fragance is so distinctive, everybody knows it and that it's specifically for babies, so I couldn't use it either. I thanked her because she didn't know the difference and I didn't had the heart to tell her. I thought about giving it to some kid that would actually enjoy it but mom said gifting it to others was being cheap, so I guess it's still around 10 years later, stored somewhere... If I ever find it I'll definitely give it to some kid, there's no point in keeping it...
Regifting is not necessarily being cheap. I regift cologne, lotions, and scented bath items because I can't use them; I have sensitive skin. I know people don't remember this, and I appreciate the gifts. My neighbors love them, though; especially this one old lady down the street. I know she uses it, because I can smell it on her when I visit. I love the smells, I just can't use it on my skin. Last year my family didn't exchange gifts, so I had nothing to regifted. I went to the store and got a set of lotions for that neighbor.
Load More Replies... My brother once gave me his old broken telescope. An aunt gave my son a roll of wallpaper from a charity shop. Same aunt gave my daughter some second hand waterproofs from the same charity shop.
Years ago our next door neighbor lost his ring finger due to a nail sticking out from a basketball backboard. My mom wanted to buy him an album so she asked the clerk what’s a good album to get. She bought him the new Rolling Stones album. When he opened his gift he began to laugh and told my mom that it’s morbidly funny that she bought him this. My mom’s like, “what?” Turns out that it’s was their “Sticky Fingers” LP that she gave him and my mom was so embarrassed!
It probably makes me the bad family member but as I've gotten older, I've gotten pickier (I also blame a job I had that forced me to research product quality). I know what I like and all. I've asked family for the past 5 years not to get me anything, I'm happy with cards. They never listen. I'm happy to receive socks though.
My step dad bought me snow tires, they sat wrapped under the tree for a week...leaving me unable to drive.
I remember one Christmas wanting a doll to play with. I got a doll that had to be on a display stand. I remember another one wanting a lap top: I got a hand me down lap top from my sister's friend. (My younger step sister).
Worst gift ever......One year my grandma bought my brother a brand new very expensive custom Dell desktop computer (he was 14) and I (11) received a hodge podge of oil paints and small canvases that mostly were from a yard sale or thrift store. I want to note that I had no artistic inclination at all. When it became obvious I was upset, my grandma said it was because he was going to make something of himself and he needed for college. Now at 33 my brother is unemployed and has 2 kids and lives with my mom. Another year this same grandma wrapped up kitchen towels from the dollar store and said to keep until we were older because when we lived on our own we would need them as adults. I was 13 and my brother 16.
My LAST Christmas with my mother in law she gave all the daughter in laws Lenox gifts beautiful big boxes I got one too inside garbage bags and dish soap along with a slap from my husband for not being grateful . I left his sorry ass and his spiteful witch mother
She put your Lenox gift inside garbage bags? Or she gave you dish soap in a garbage bag? Either way, that's messed up. Also, I'm glad you left your abusive husband.
Load More Replies... As newlyweds, I mentioned once to husband that he has never bought me lingerie. Does he gift it to me alone on a romantic night so we could enjoy them? Of course not. It was his big extravagant Christmas gift to me in front of all the parents, aunts and uncles. To top it off, my MIL who I hardly know, requests that I put them on to model for everyone and she wasn’t joking. My dad and FIL turn pale and refuse to make eye contact. Great memory attached to my lingerie for sexy nights in the future. Husband wondered why I hardly wore them. SMH
In laws were the worst. I missed many Christmases as a child so as an adult having mean gifts hurt. I don't eat meat so one year they used a box with beef blood all over it, another year they had cut out mans pant from flyer and put it in a card with a few bucks ( I am a woman) Regifted a 20 year old sweater, faked giving a microwave, big box, bow, and bricks for weight, list goes on and on, very cruel people.
Every other year my mom gives me finger puppets... it started when I was 19 and now I'm 33. I got my brother a watch and by the time I gave it to him for Christmas the batteries had stopped working. He also has bad teeth and so I told my niece to get him a gag gift as well as a regular one and she got him a toothbrush but forgot to get a regular one lol. Luckily he found it hilarious 😂
The year my aunt decided that giving me feminine hygiene products was a good idea.
I always put a lot of thought into my gift giving for friends and family so it was very disheartening to get on book on Auschwitz from a long time friend last year. For Christmas !??? ,She is clueless and I'm still ticked off about it.
One of the weirdest gifts I've gotten was when I was around 12-14, in which I had a relative who gave me leggings that were specifically designed to show off your butt. I worry about what the hell they were thinking.
I don't understand people. My kids are all teens / young adults. Every year we tell them make a list. It's hard to keep track what they're into, what they were into, what they're definitely not into anymore etc. So I ask for a list and if they can attach links to said list that's even better. During the year if they say "oooh I really want this for my room / car / self whatever... I buy it and stash it and WRITE their name on it so I don't forget later. It's not that hard geeze.
All I could think of is that kids record player still new in the box is most likely worth far more than when it was bought. Time to get it out of the attic and let it get you something to enjoy.
In the 80s and 90s giving my father a gift was impossible! Being a young girl who wanted to make Daddy happy and really thinking about a meaningful gift meant nothing to him. I'd get something like a hat or key chain saying #1 dad. Well he'd make a disgusted face, say oh gee thanks and throw it across the room. Lucky for me he became a Jehovah's witness so I never had to go through that again..... wrong! He celebrates holidays when he feels like it. As an adult I bought my dad cologne. My fiance was there and was upset with my father's response, I didn't even notice being it was so normal to me. He said oh gee thanks another cologne. Surprisingly, he didn't throw it across the room but we were at a restaurant so that's probably why. Gotta love my dear old dad
When I was 17. My mother gave me a winter coat as a Christmas gift. It was nice but more her taste. I found out why real quick. I tried the coat on. Said thank you. And she asked if she could try it on. Then asked if she could borrow it that night to go see her be. Never saw the coat again. It was now hers.
My (now) ex's sister knew I am incredibly allergic to roses. Cue Christmas day. I open a gift set of rosewater and rose scented things as well as a candle with rose petals in it. Thanks. I hate it.
I gave my mom a character-themed makeup set a couple years ago, for a character she collects stuff of. I actually asked her if she wanted it for her collection and she said yes. So on Christmas that year, she opens it, and my sister is all snarky because the makeup is purple and mom doesn’t even wear makeup that often anyway, let alone purple. So from her perspective it was an awful gift, and it made me feel like s**t even though mom WANTED IT. :)
P.S. I held it together really well but cried later that day.
Load More Replies... Some of them, yes. But some of them were intentionally mean/bad.
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