Part of the beauty of humankind is how imperfect we all actually are. Think of the level of naivety, false hopes, wrong assumptions and beliefs we all swear by, day by day, without questioning them twice. How on earth can we be so oblivious?

So this post serves as a tribute to all the headless selves who believe the craziest conspiracies, or things adults mockingly told us when we were little, or stuff we read on fishy forums. Inspired by a seemingly simple question posed on r/AskReddit “What's the dumbest thing you've ever heard someone say?” it offers a glimpse into the absurd wonderland of arguments that leave our mouths, making others cringe in return. Like, genuinely asking a flight attendant if you could open a window because it’s feeling really hot.

#1

Dumbest-Things-Someone-Said some girl once told me that it was impossible for me to be vietnamese bc vietnam was a war and not a country. this happened while in college smh

000Rohit , Wikimedia Commons Report

Bardhi's Dad
Community Member
1 month ago

Not vietnamese, but I have similar experience in my one country. I was told "you look so normal, you can not be part of that (my) nation"

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#2

Dumbest-Things-Someone-Said A few years ago leading up to the great American eclipse a coworker overheard us discussing it and said "Y'all don't actually believe in that [stuff] do you?" I figured he misunderstood whatever we were talking about and thought we were talking about mysticism or something regarding the eclipse but no he followed up with "Don't you know if the moon went into the sun it would melt, that's why the eclipse can't be real."

I genuinely felt like humanity should probably start over from scratch after that.

unknown , Wikimedia Commons Report

troufaki13
Community Member
1 month ago

So what did he say *after* the eclipse? That it was staged? That you were trying to prank him?

Giovanna
Community Member
1 month ago

Of course. It was all Bill Gates' plan for the Great Reset.

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Robert T
Community Member
1 month ago (edited)

Gees. Does he not know that it is a big dragon which comes along and eats the sun?

chi-wei shen
Community Member
1 month ago

A village somewhere is missing the idiot.

Eric Law
Community Member
1 month ago

Most these days have spares.

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Kai Wee Toh
Community Member
1 month ago

Thousands of years ago, some shrewd philosopher noted that if a state's citizenry are kept ignorant, weak, and set against each other over trivial matters, the state is much easier to rule. I think today's political elites are rediscovering that idea. What's in it for them to have a highly intelligent population that are able to check on them and potentially oust them?

A B C
Community Member
1 month ago

Oof. That one actually hurts.

Chris
Community Member
1 month ago

Great American eclipse?!? LMAO... why you pricks gotta put American in everything?!

Rainy Day Wolf
Community Member
1 month ago

that had me rolling too

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Nagawa (Cofa) Kishiki
Community Member
1 month ago (edited)

Yes, especially since the moon is made up out of cheese.

Mary Peace
Community Member
1 month ago

Yes, because Wallace & Gromit proved that.

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N G
Community Member
1 month ago

So the co-worker was trump?

Brian Bennett
Community Member
1 month ago

Where do you work, and who hired that guy to what position?

Id row
Community Member
1 month ago

I'd like to slap that person's parents and teachers.

Nadine Bamberger
Community Member
1 month ago

Sometimes I think your schools are strictly ornamental.

Jods
Community Member
1 month ago

What do you mean the great American eclipse? They don’t just happen in the USA.

Radek Suski
Community Member
1 month ago

So you don't have internet. Huh?

Noel Benavente
Community Member
1 month ago

well, flat earthers believe the sun and the moon are at the same distance from the earth, so...

James016
Community Member
1 month ago

When is the next biblical flood coming?

Ann Coffman
Community Member
1 month ago

MOST stupid person EVER!!!!

ProbablyIsaac
Community Member
1 month ago

What if we turned the planet off and then turned it on again would it fix our problems

Andy Flyer
Community Member
1 month ago

Same people that will tell you that Covid is not real. Oh, but Elvis is still alive.

Elaine Mattingly
Community Member
1 month ago

Good one.

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Jessica Julian
Community Member
1 month ago

Our education system is broken...

julia
Community Member
1 month ago

this one NEEDS to be higher

Octavia Hansen
Community Member
1 month ago

Stupid people make me feel great . . . I am smug in knowledge that my education was not a waste. They, however, were just warming the seats.

Robert Carlton
Community Member
2 weeks ago

Somewhere, somehow, an astronomer is crying.

Elizabeth Gardner
Community Member
1 month ago

yep start at the beginning and change some of the DNA so that it is human.

memyselfandI
Community Member
1 month ago

It’s a stretch, but I can conceivably think of an explanation for this, if all he was ever told was the moon covered the sun? Or he saw “in front of” and only remembered “in”? Or he was just particularly dumb that day.

KT
Community Member
1 month ago

LOL the great "american" eclipse.....

third molar
Community Member
1 month ago

Home schooled probably

Elaine Mattingly
Community Member
1 month ago

The reason some people home school os so their children get an informed education bsed on research and fact not fiction.

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Norah Reilly
Community Member
1 month ago

There ain't no cure for stupid.

Elaine Mattingly
Community Member
1 month ago

YES there is a cure for stupid, just stop glorifying it and be willing to change.

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#3

Dumbest-Things-Someone-Said Work at a hotel. Guest asked why there was no fourth of July parade or any fireworks in town. We were in Australia.

lavernican , Dirk Report

Truth Monster
Community Member
1 month ago

Well that's just un-American!

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#4

Dumbest-Things-Someone-Said When I was like 13 I told my friend that there was such a thing as a Liger. They had successfully mated a lion and a tiger. His response “you idiot, tigers ARE female lions”

....

We took the argument to his mother to settle it. She took his side

Waffle_Ambasador , Wikimedia Commons Report

Friday
Community Member
1 month ago

Stupid runs in the family.

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#5

Dumbest-Things-Someone-Said "It's been proven that if you dream about falling and hit the ground in your dream you will die in your sleep."

Yeah? If someone dies in their sleep, how do you know what they were dreaming?

FrankieMint , Pixabay Report

Shelli Aderman
Community Member
1 month ago

Thanks to summer camp stories, I believed that one for FAR TOO LONG! 🤣

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#6

Dumbest-Things-Someone-Said A girl in my class asked why do farms exist if she gets her food from the supermarket.The teacher had such a disappointed face and everyone looked at her and wondered how did she pass the all the way through the 8th grade

Adron-the-survivor , Derek Bakken Report

Luka Verheijen
Community Member
1 month ago

Yeah, there are kids tgat don't even know milk comes from cows. Commercialism took a wrong turn somewhere.

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#7

Dumbest-Things-Someone-Said I worked retail as a summer job about 17 years ago. I was putting out coffee cups with a coworker.

"Why don't they make left handed coffee cups?"

I quietly turned one of the mugs 180 degrees without saying anything.

Last I heard she was the assistant manager of that department.

CaptainAwesome06 , Andrew Currie Report

Friday
Community Member
1 month ago

She was promoted when she introduced left handed teaspoons.

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#8

Dumbest-Things-Someone-Said My sister panicked whilst on a plane and asked if she could open a window as she was feeling really hot - the guy in the seats across from her lost it, it made his day

emilov98 , Lenny DiFranza Report

Giovanna
Community Member
1 month ago

I can relate to this one. Not the request of opening a plane window, but the panicking on a plane. I can't fly anymore because of this. I can guarantee you that when youre in the middle of that pure terror (panic attack) nothing you do or say is rational!

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#9

“Wait is it just me or do meteors always land in craters” said the smartest guy in my class

[deleted] Report

Friday
Community Member
1 month ago

It’s just you mate

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#10

Dumbest-Things-Someone-Said 22-year-old girlfriend, after having walked under some street lamps: “I just discovered that we have 2 shadows. I think the other one is only visible at night.”

I explained what shadows are and how they're dependent on the light source. There was visible brain processing strain on her face.

nigglebit , keith ellwood Report

Vic
Community Member
1 month ago

I bet there was a third shadow from the light you shed with this new information..

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#11

Dumbest-Things-Someone-Said My friend once told me he wasn't too concerned about using birth control because everyone knows the girl can only get pregnant if they both come at the same time. His gf was pregnant 3 months later.

kennethfrom30rock , Brianna LaugherFollow Report

Ryan Deschanel
Community Member
1 month ago

If it were true, life on earth would have been extinct for millions of years.

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#12

I remarked that it’s odd that we associate rabbits with EGGS for Easter. I jokingly said we should make it an Easter platypus because unlike rabbits they lay eggs.

Then someone overheard this and said “wait... no, rabbits DO lay eggs.”

This turned into a two minute argument over whether or not rabbits lay eggs. And then when she finally accepted that she was wrong, she was so irritated that she asked all of her coworkers if they thought the same as her.

To the best of my knowledge she’s the only one.

USPSA-Addict Report

Vasana Phong
Community Member
1 month ago

Wow, midway through reading I thought these were in elementary school kids

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#13

Dumbest-Things-Someone-Said A customer came in today and apparently had a an excuse for not wearing a mask. We offered curbside pickup for their safety and the safety of others. They let us know that they work at a covid clinic, so they had "literally 0% chance of contracting it".

rubiedoobieunicorn , Tebo Steele Report

Vic
Community Member
1 month ago

Kick them out.. kick them out right now..

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#14

Dumbest-Things-Someone-Said Co-worker at my last job during lunch:

Him: "The moon landings obviously didn't happen"

Me: "Thats awkward I was bouncing lasers off the mirrors we left there at Uni." (Physics Graduate)

Him after pausing: "Theres loads of ways they could have got there, aliens could have plonked them down"

Man literally believes in aliens but not the moon landings and is a manager at a large company

DivineRainor , Wikimedia Commons Report

Rod Egret
Community Member
1 month ago

Since when do you need to be smart and/or educated to be a manager?

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#15

The spork is "the devil's utensil" because it is the amalgamation of the masculine fork and the feminine spoon and is trying to blur gender lines in society.

-eDgAR- Report

Truth Monster
Community Member
1 month ago

Beware! the Great Sporkening is upon ye!

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#16

Someone once said.

"But I don't want to put the bag of aquatic snails inside the fish tank, they might drown!"

That someone was me.

Past me is dumb.

lilithpingu Report

Lauren Caswell
Community Member
1 month ago

Aw but you cared for the snails, bless ^-^

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#17

Dumbest-Things-Someone-Said someone tried to convince me that snakes don’t have bones. I showed him some pictures of snake skeletons and he said “yeah they have ribs, not bones”

cheeeeeeeeto , Wikimedia Commons Report

Brian Bennett
Community Member
1 month ago

I think some of the people who make these comments grow on trees, how's that for a conundrum?

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#18

Dumbest-Things-Someone-Said It’s not cheating if you don’t love the person

Sissonater , Tobias Begemann Report

Luka Verheijen
Community Member
1 month ago

The person who you cheat with, or the person you cheat on? That's important

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#19

Dumbest-Things-Someone-Said 'Can't we just exterminate all bacteria and viruses so we can't get sick anymore?'

Literally heard someone say this in Microbiology class. MICROBIOLOGY CLASS!

maskedghostwolf , Polina Tankilevitch Report

Aman Varkkey
Community Member
1 month ago

I think this is someone who is tired of microbiology.

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#20

Dumbest-Things-Someone-Said That chickens have no brains. Not that they are stupid. That a chicken literally does not have a brain.

blakingpowder , Mary and Andrew Report

Bardhi's Dad
Community Member
1 month ago

On the other hand, you have people who are stupid, not without brain 😂

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#21

“Masks are for pussies” my moms friend three weeks ago who is now in intensive care.

AnaNastase2001 Report

Sue Hazlewood
Community Member
1 month ago

For smart pussies

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#22

That you can't walk to the front of a plane because its moving faster than you can walk. This was a teacher

jakepaulfanxd Report

Aman Varkkey
Community Member
1 month ago

Inside a plane or outside?

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#23

Dumbest-Things-Someone-Said Is the forth of July on the 14th or 15th?

My ex boyfriend asked me that. He has no excuse, he's from California.

Wickedflame77 , jeff_golden Report

Foxxy (The Original)
Community Member
1 month ago

Hehe, this reminds me of the kids from little rascals asking "what is the number for 911".

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#24

watching star wars in high school with some girl says, " when did this happen?" I said it was made in the 70s , confused on what she meant. she said " no, the space war, when did we have a space war?" me n my buddy almost died

joeyjojo-shabadoo Report

Bill
Community Member
1 month ago

A long time ago in a galaxy far far away

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#25

Oh I have one! I told my friend that I thought she may be an alcoholic and she should get some help. So she goes to a counselor. She was so proud to come and tell me that she wasn't an alcoholic, she had a substantial abuse disorder.

The substance? Alcohol

Auriirua Report

Charlotte A.
Community Member
1 month ago

My mom once overheard her neighbour saying to a friend "They say you're an alcoholic if you drink one bottle of wine a day. Which is ridiculous as that would make me an alcoholic!" (Spoiler: She was.)

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#26

Dumbest-Things-Someone-Said Friend shared that he thought women were like chickens, one day a month we would sit on a toilet all day and lay an egg

jfix-incd , Barry Skeates Report

MagicalUnicorn
Community Member
1 month ago

that kinda sounds better than bleeding whole week :D

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#27

Dumbest-Things-Someone-Said “Masks are dangerous because we shouldn’t be breathing in our own carbon monoxide.”

Midas_Artflower , Anna Shvets Report

Tim Pillinger
Community Member
1 month ago

If you're worried about brain damage from wearing a mask, don't. That ship sailed.

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#28

Dumbest-Things-Someone-Said In 8th grade this girl, dead serious, asked, “how did people breathe before there was electricity?”

acatherinee , Martin Abegglen Report

Steve Barnett
Community Member
1 month ago

How did we walk before there was Bitcoin?

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#29

Dumbest-Things-Someone-Said "China is it's own continent because the people who live there are called 'Chinese'." "... Uh... and we are Oklahomans. Did I miss the memo where we became a continent?"

TheOnlyKaiser , Wikimedia Commons Report

Luka Verheijen
Community Member
1 month ago

Some americans think like america is the entire world and the states are countries. That doesn't excuse this though.

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#30

Dumbest-Things-Someone-Said Yall really gonna make me remember the time my coworker thought willy Wonka was a real person and wondered how much money he was making on Nerds and Gobstoppers

Catezero , Paramount Pictures Report

N G
Community Member
1 month ago

W***y Wonka is legally a separate entity from the W***y Wonka brand that actually does the manufacturing and selling. 🤪

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#31

That 2% milk and 2% milk made 4% milk. Proceed to try and prove his point by saying "if (half black friend) and I (half black) had a baby, the baby would be full black". This guy also asked me if the Queen was the president of Canada, soo...

masochist_mango Report

im.bored.person
Community Member
1 month ago

The queen is not the president of canada. I hear this all the time from Americans

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#32

Dumbest-Things-Someone-Said "if Japanese people suffer so much from tsunamis, why don't they hide behind the Great Wall of China?"

8th grade geography class

Myko02 , Wikimedia Commons Report

Ryan Deschanel
Community Member
1 month ago

Because Japan is... Like... another country, and... and stuff...

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#33

The moon is much better than the sun because it's up at night illuminating while the sun is up during the day when it's allready bright.

_jroc_ Report

Foxxy (The Original)
Community Member
1 month ago

Bet they were shocked to find out the moon is illuminated by the sun.

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#34

A Canadian asking me, an Englishman, where I learnt to speak English.

akesie Report

Vasana Phong
Community Member
1 month ago (edited)

Once had a coworker tell our supervisor “ wow your English is so good for someone being in the states for only a year “

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#35

Dumbest-Things-Someone-Said I dont believe in evolution cause if we did evolve then why aren't we still evolving?

SnowPaw850 , Wikimedia Commons Report

Katie Lutesinger
Community Member
1 month ago

There's a theory that one way we're noticeably evolving is that it's becoming more common for someone to be born without a full set of wisdom teeth, or no wisdom teeth at all. We're evolving to have fewer teeth because our jaws have gotten smaller to make room for more brain (plus we now live off softer foods).

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#36

"If you could adopt a child from a third world country, which country would you choose and why?" "I would choose Alaska, because it's really cold there." -A member of the prom court being asked a random question on our school's live news show that was being broadcasted out to every homeroom.

GingersaurusRex Report

Zebwe
Community Member
1 month ago

weird question though

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#37

After watching a movie in 3D they said “that was amazing, I wish real life was in 3D too”

Amehh_ Report

Roger Haywood
Community Member
1 month ago

Facepalm moment.

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#38

We were in class and this girl was so confused at how a flight from America to Russia could be quick, because the world map shows America being at the far left and Russia on the right. The teacher said, 'Look at the map.' She replies, 'Yeah, they're so far away.' A moment of silence. Teacher: 'The world is round; it isn't flat like a map.'

intantum95 Report

Laura Mende (Human)
Community Member
1 month ago

A real flat eather!

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#39

Mate of mine told me Reindeer weren’t real animals. They were mythical creatures...

We live in Australia, but still.

thePag Report

Shelli Aderman
Community Member
1 month ago

Reindeers are better than people…

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#40

"masks don't work that's why they told us not to wear them at first. they want us to wear them now because they realized the lack of oxygen will make us dumb and we'll listen to wherever they say."

FormerAntelope6 Report

Christian Homuth
Community Member
1 month ago

If only oxygen helped against stupidity

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#41

When I pointed out to a coworker that a person who actually was modest wouldn't brag about how modest they are: "How would people know that I'm modest if I don't tell them?"

mordeci00 Report

Vic
Community Member
1 month ago

How will people know I'm not talking if I don't tell them..

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#42

A colleague who saw me eating some tomatoes for lunch and made the comment “isn’t all that sugar in the tomatoes bad for you?” as she ate her McDonald’s....

[deleted] Report

Eric Law
Community Member
1 month ago

Actually a McDonald's cheeseburger has 7 grams of sugar and a tomato has 3.2. So if you ate two tomatoes, you'd be eating about the same amount of sugar as in the cheeseburger.

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#43

I’m a veterinarian. I once had the owner of a pregnant three legged dog ask if the puppies would be born with three legs or four.

kayaker58 Report

Toxxa
Community Member
1 month ago

im just gonna say, i kinda get where this is coming from IF the dog was born with 3 legs

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#44

"If you're an atheist, that means you're not allowed to use the Roman calendar because it was invented by Christians."

schnit123 Report

Lauren Caswell
Community Member
1 month ago

If you don't believe in evolution then get back up that tree 🤷‍♀️

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#45

Why don't vegans eat fish? They aren't animals.

pirolance Report

Prilsy
Community Member
1 month ago

As a vegan I get asked "but you do eat chicken then?"

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#46

Dumbest-Things-Someone-Said Why is there a deer Xing sign it’s too dangerous for deer to cross the road

08337Leebo , Vincent N. B. Report

Truth Monster
Community Member
1 month ago

Oh deer

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#47

Dumbest-Things-Someone-Said “How do they know which moon to put out?”

ImRandyRU , Wikimedia Commons Report

Foxxy (The Original)
Community Member
1 month ago

They check what moon the neighbours have put out.

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#48

Dumbest-Things-Someone-Said Just because math is in a book, doesn't make it true... she was a college student.

stupidpunname54 , Jeremy Mikkola Report

Truth Monster
Community Member
1 month ago

She's not all wrong. Math textbooks have been wrong. Being in a book doesn't make it infallible.

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#49

That Japan was the capital of Australia.

Just-STFU Report

Vic
Community Member
1 month ago

Pfft! Every one knows the capital of Australia is 'A'

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#50

Dumbest-Things-Someone-Said My mom said her new mac was a waste of money because it didn’t have internet explorer so “how is she supposed to do anything?”

aaareed , Alexis ROBERT Report

Lauren Caswell
Community Member
1 month ago

That's just someone who's never had a mac, only a pc im thinking? In any case argh internet explorer is evil

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