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Part of the beauty of humankind is how imperfect we all actually are. Think of the level of naivety, false hopes, wrong assumptions and beliefs we all swear by, day by day, without questioning them twice. How on earth can we be so oblivious?

So this post serves as a tribute to all the headless selves who believe the craziest conspiracies, or things adults mockingly told us when we were little, or stuff we read on fishy forums. Inspired by a seemingly simple question posed on r/AskReddit “What's the dumbest thing you've ever heard someone say?” it offers a glimpse into the absurd wonderland of arguments that leave our mouths, making others cringe in return. Like, genuinely asking a flight attendant if you could open a window because it’s feeling really hot.

#1

50 Of The Dumbest Things People Have Overheard Someone Say some girl once told me that it was impossible for me to be vietnamese bc vietnam was a war and not a country. this happened while in college smh

000Rohit , Wikimedia Commons Report

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Bardhi's Dad
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Not vietnamese, but I have similar experience in my one country. I was told "you look so normal, you can not be part of that (my) nation"

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#2

50 Of The Dumbest Things People Have Overheard Someone Say A few years ago leading up to the great American eclipse a coworker overheard us discussing it and said "Y'all don't actually believe in that [stuff] do you?" I figured he misunderstood whatever we were talking about and thought we were talking about mysticism or something regarding the eclipse but no he followed up with "Don't you know if the moon went into the sun it would melt, that's why the eclipse can't be real."

I genuinely felt like humanity should probably start over from scratch after that.

unknown , Wikimedia Commons Report

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troufaki13
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

So what did he say *after* the eclipse? That it was staged? That you were trying to prank him?

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#3

50 Of The Dumbest Things People Have Overheard Someone Say Work at a hotel. Guest asked why there was no fourth of July parade or any fireworks in town. We were in Australia.

lavernican , Dirk Report

#4

50 Of The Dumbest Things People Have Overheard Someone Say When I was like 13 I told my friend that there was such a thing as a Liger. They had successfully mated a lion and a tiger. His response “you idiot, tigers ARE female lions”

....

We took the argument to his mother to settle it. She took his side

Waffle_Ambasador , Wikimedia Commons Report

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#5

50 Of The Dumbest Things People Have Overheard Someone Say "It's been proven that if you dream about falling and hit the ground in your dream you will die in your sleep."

Yeah? If someone dies in their sleep, how do you know what they were dreaming?

FrankieMint , Pixabay Report

#6

50 Of The Dumbest Things People Have Overheard Someone Say A girl in my class asked why do farms exist if she gets her food from the supermarket.The teacher had such a disappointed face and everyone looked at her and wondered how did she pass the all the way through the 8th grade

Adron-the-survivor , Derek Bakken Report

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Luka Verheijen
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yeah, there are kids tgat don't even know milk comes from cows. Commercialism took a wrong turn somewhere.

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#7

50 Of The Dumbest Things People Have Overheard Someone Say I worked retail as a summer job about 17 years ago. I was putting out coffee cups with a coworker.

"Why don't they make left handed coffee cups?"

I quietly turned one of the mugs 180 degrees without saying anything.

Last I heard she was the assistant manager of that department.

CaptainAwesome06 , Andrew Currie Report

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Friday
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

She was promoted when she introduced left handed teaspoons.

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#8

50 Of The Dumbest Things People Have Overheard Someone Say My sister panicked whilst on a plane and asked if she could open a window as she was feeling really hot - the guy in the seats across from her lost it, it made his day

emilov98 , Lenny DiFranza Report

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Giovanna
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I can relate to this one. Not the request of opening a plane window, but the panicking on a plane. I can't fly anymore because of this. I can guarantee you that when youre in the middle of that pure terror (panic attack) nothing you do or say is rational!

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#9

“Wait is it just me or do meteors always land in craters” said the smartest guy in my class

[deleted] Report

#10

50 Of The Dumbest Things People Have Overheard Someone Say 22-year-old girlfriend, after having walked under some street lamps: “I just discovered that we have 2 shadows. I think the other one is only visible at night.”

I explained what shadows are and how they're dependent on the light source. There was visible brain processing strain on her face.

nigglebit , keith ellwood Report

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Vic
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I bet there was a third shadow from the light you shed with this new information..

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#11

50 Of The Dumbest Things People Have Overheard Someone Say My friend once told me he wasn't too concerned about using birth control because everyone knows the girl can only get pregnant if they both come at the same time. His gf was pregnant 3 months later.

kennethfrom30rock , Brianna LaugherFollow Report

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Ryan Deschanel
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If it were true, life on earth would have been extinct for millions of years.

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#12

I remarked that it’s odd that we associate rabbits with EGGS for Easter. I jokingly said we should make it an Easter platypus because unlike rabbits they lay eggs.

Then someone overheard this and said “wait... no, rabbits DO lay eggs.”

This turned into a two minute argument over whether or not rabbits lay eggs. And then when she finally accepted that she was wrong, she was so irritated that she asked all of her coworkers if they thought the same as her.

To the best of my knowledge she’s the only one.

USPSA-Addict Report

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Vasana Phong
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Wow, midway through reading I thought these were in elementary school kids

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#13

50 Of The Dumbest Things People Have Overheard Someone Say A customer came in today and apparently had a an excuse for not wearing a mask. We offered curbside pickup for their safety and the safety of others. They let us know that they work at a covid clinic, so they had "literally 0% chance of contracting it".

rubiedoobieunicorn , Tebo Steele Report

#14

50 Of The Dumbest Things People Have Overheard Someone Say Co-worker at my last job during lunch:

Him: "The moon landings obviously didn't happen"

Me: "Thats awkward I was bouncing lasers off the mirrors we left there at Uni." (Physics Graduate)

Him after pausing: "Theres loads of ways they could have got there, aliens could have plonked them down"

Man literally believes in aliens but not the moon landings and is a manager at a large company

DivineRainor , Wikimedia Commons Report

#15

The spork is "the devil's utensil" because it is the amalgamation of the masculine fork and the feminine spoon and is trying to blur gender lines in society.

-eDgAR- Report

#16

Someone once said.

"But I don't want to put the bag of aquatic snails inside the fish tank, they might drown!"

That someone was me.

Past me is dumb.

lilithpingu Report

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#17

50 Of The Dumbest Things People Have Overheard Someone Say someone tried to convince me that snakes don’t have bones. I showed him some pictures of snake skeletons and he said “yeah they have ribs, not bones”

cheeeeeeeeto , Wikimedia Commons Report

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Brian Bennett
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I think some of the people who make these comments grow on trees, how's that for a conundrum?

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#18

50 Of The Dumbest Things People Have Overheard Someone Say It’s not cheating if you don’t love the person

Sissonater , Tobias Begemann Report

#19

50 Of The Dumbest Things People Have Overheard Someone Say 'Can't we just exterminate all bacteria and viruses so we can't get sick anymore?'

Literally heard someone say this in Microbiology class. MICROBIOLOGY CLASS!

maskedghostwolf , Polina Tankilevitch Report

#20

50 Of The Dumbest Things People Have Overheard Someone Say That chickens have no brains. Not that they are stupid. That a chicken literally does not have a brain.

blakingpowder , Mary and Andrew Report

#21

“Masks are for pussies” my moms friend three weeks ago who is now in intensive care.

AnaNastase2001 Report

#22

That you can't walk to the front of a plane because its moving faster than you can walk. This was a teacher

jakepaulfanxd Report

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#23

50 Of The Dumbest Things People Have Overheard Someone Say Is the forth of July on the 14th or 15th?

My ex boyfriend asked me that. He has no excuse, he's from California.

Wickedflame77 , jeff_golden Report

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Foxxy (The Original)
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Hehe, this reminds me of the kids from little rascals asking "what is the number for 911".

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#24

watching star wars in high school with some girl says, " when did this happen?" I said it was made in the 70s , confused on what she meant. she said " no, the space war, when did we have a space war?" me n my buddy almost died

joeyjojo-shabadoo Report

#25

Oh I have one! I told my friend that I thought she may be an alcoholic and she should get some help. So she goes to a counselor. She was so proud to come and tell me that she wasn't an alcoholic, she had a substantial abuse disorder.

The substance? Alcohol

Auriirua Report

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Charlotte A.
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My mom once overheard her neighbour saying to a friend "They say you're an alcoholic if you drink one bottle of wine a day. Which is ridiculous as that would make me an alcoholic!" (Spoiler: She was.)

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#26

50 Of The Dumbest Things People Have Overheard Someone Say Friend shared that he thought women were like chickens, one day a month we would sit on a toilet all day and lay an egg

jfix-incd , Barry Skeates Report

#27

50 Of The Dumbest Things People Have Overheard Someone Say “Masks are dangerous because we shouldn’t be breathing in our own carbon monoxide.”

Midas_Artflower , Anna Shvets Report

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Tim Pillinger
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If you're worried about brain damage from wearing a mask, don't. That ship sailed.

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#28

50 Of The Dumbest Things People Have Overheard Someone Say In 8th grade this girl, dead serious, asked, “how did people breathe before there was electricity?”

acatherinee , Martin Abegglen Report

#29

50 Of The Dumbest Things People Have Overheard Someone Say "China is it's own continent because the people who live there are called 'Chinese'." "... Uh... and we are Oklahomans. Did I miss the memo where we became a continent?"

TheOnlyKaiser , Wikimedia Commons Report

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Luka Verheijen
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Some americans think like america is the entire world and the states are countries. That doesn't excuse this though.

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#30

50 Of The Dumbest Things People Have Overheard Someone Say Yall really gonna make me remember the time my coworker thought willy Wonka was a real person and wondered how much money he was making on Nerds and Gobstoppers

Catezero , Paramount Pictures Report

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N G
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

W***y Wonka is legally a separate entity from the W***y Wonka brand that actually does the manufacturing and selling. 🤪

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#31

That 2% milk and 2% milk made 4% milk. Proceed to try and prove his point by saying "if (half black friend) and I (half black) had a baby, the baby would be full black". This guy also asked me if the Queen was the president of Canada, soo...

masochist_mango Report

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im.bored.person
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The queen is not the president of canada. I hear this all the time from Americans

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#32

50 Of The Dumbest Things People Have Overheard Someone Say "if Japanese people suffer so much from tsunamis, why don't they hide behind the Great Wall of China?"

8th grade geography class

Myko02 , Wikimedia Commons Report

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#33

The moon is much better than the sun because it's up at night illuminating while the sun is up during the day when it's allready bright.

_jroc_ Report

#34

A Canadian asking me, an Englishman, where I learnt to speak English.

akesie Report

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Vasana Phong
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Once had a coworker tell our supervisor “ wow your English is so good for someone being in the states for only a year “

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#35

50 Of The Dumbest Things People Have Overheard Someone Say I dont believe in evolution cause if we did evolve then why aren't we still evolving?

SnowPaw850 , Wikimedia Commons Report

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Katie Lutesinger
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

There's a theory that one way we're noticeably evolving is that it's becoming more common for someone to be born without a full set of wisdom teeth, or no wisdom teeth at all. We're evolving to have fewer teeth because our jaws have gotten smaller to make room for more brain (plus we now live off softer foods).

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#36

"If you could adopt a child from a third world country, which country would you choose and why?" "I would choose Alaska, because it's really cold there." -A member of the prom court being asked a random question on our school's live news show that was being broadcasted out to every homeroom.

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#37

After watching a movie in 3D they said “that was amazing, I wish real life was in 3D too”

Amehh_ Report

#38

We were in class and this girl was so confused at how a flight from America to Russia could be quick, because the world map shows America being at the far left and Russia on the right. The teacher said, 'Look at the map.' She replies, 'Yeah, they're so far away.' A moment of silence. Teacher: 'The world is round; it isn't flat like a map.'

intantum95 Report

#39

Mate of mine told me Reindeer weren’t real animals. They were mythical creatures...

We live in Australia, but still.

thePag Report

#40

"masks don't work that's why they told us not to wear them at first. they want us to wear them now because they realized the lack of oxygen will make us dumb and we'll listen to wherever they say."

FormerAntelope6 Report

#41

When I pointed out to a coworker that a person who actually was modest wouldn't brag about how modest they are: "How would people know that I'm modest if I don't tell them?"

mordeci00 Report

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Vic
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

How will people know I'm not talking if I don't tell them..

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#42

A colleague who saw me eating some tomatoes for lunch and made the comment “isn’t all that sugar in the tomatoes bad for you?” as she ate her McDonald’s....

[deleted] Report

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#43

I’m a veterinarian. I once had the owner of a pregnant three legged dog ask if the puppies would be born with three legs or four.

kayaker58 Report

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Toxxa
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

im just gonna say, i kinda get where this is coming from IF the dog was born with 3 legs

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#44

"If you're an atheist, that means you're not allowed to use the Roman calendar because it was invented by Christians."

schnit123 Report

#45

Why don't vegans eat fish? They aren't animals.

pirolance Report

#46

50 Of The Dumbest Things People Have Overheard Someone Say Why is there a deer Xing sign it’s too dangerous for deer to cross the road

08337Leebo , Vincent N. B. Report

#47

50 Of The Dumbest Things People Have Overheard Someone Say “How do they know which moon to put out?”

ImRandyRU , Wikimedia Commons Report

#48

50 Of The Dumbest Things People Have Overheard Someone Say Just because math is in a book, doesn't make it true... she was a college student.

stupidpunname54 , Jeremy Mikkola Report

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Truth Monster
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

She's not all wrong. Math textbooks have been wrong. Being in a book doesn't make it infallible.

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#49

That Japan was the capital of Australia.

Just-STFU Report

#50

50 Of The Dumbest Things People Have Overheard Someone Say My mom said her new mac was a waste of money because it didn’t have internet explorer so “how is she supposed to do anything?”

aaareed , Alexis ROBERT Report

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Lauren Caswell
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That's just someone who's never had a mac, only a pc im thinking? In any case argh internet explorer is evil

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