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Lying seems to come naturally to some people. They’re not bothered by the outcomes, even if it’s their health that might be affected. For example, when people think it’s a good idea to lie to their doctor. They also ignore the fact that even if the medic buys it, their test results might end up revealing the truth. And still, some people stick to their untruthful ways.

Medical professionals revealed some of the most foolish things patients have lied to them about to the ‘Ask Reddit’ community. Redditor u/KyeLindsay asked them to share their stories and they didn’t hold back from doing so. Their examples discussed everything from lying about one’s age to trying to cover up stab wounds as the most bizarre of incidents. Scroll down to find the stories in their own words.

#1

30 Doctors Share The Dumbest Lies They've Heard From Patients Woman comes to emerg with complaints of vaginal discharge and discomfort.
Pelvic exam initially reveals significant yeast infection, but there appears to be a foreign body in her vagina.
“Is there something stuck inside?”
“No, I don’t know what’s in there…”
Speculum examination reveals a very soft mandarin orange, peel still on.
“Oh, that! We heard it would improve our fertility…”

You can’t make this s**t up.

Drilmagus , Frédérique Voisin-Demery Report

#2

30 Doctors Share The Dumbest Lies They've Heard From Patients Not a surgeon or doctor, but an Anesthesia Nurse/ OR Nurse...
But a mom directly lied to us about her 12 year old pre ENT surgery.

We always confirm with the pacient and legal guardians all the pre surgery check up:
Name
Age/date of birth
Any past medical history
Common medication, and medication took in the last 24h
Surgery proposed
Last time you eat or drink anything

The thing is in the last item of the check list the mom lied... Her answer "no he doesn't eat anything since yesterday", the kid confirmed. Note that it was 4 PM.

Outcome:

Surgery went well, no problems. When comes the time to remove the tube... The kid starts vomiting tons of rice and beans... When I say tons I mean at least 1kg of said food.
The kid aspirates part of the food against our best efforts... We aspirate do everything we can including a broncofibroscopy.

Everything ends up ok, the kid survived, no further complications and recovered to full health in only 2 days.

When confronted about the lie, and explained how her son could have died, the "Karen" mom said "what could I do?! He was ungry and eats like a bull! Who am I to say he can't" We all lost our pacience and just said "HIS MOM!!! , he could and was close to dieing because of this"

Conclusion: Please take the fasting period, and pre surgery recommendations seriously, any doubt be honest with your health team.

Togarriapa , Vidal Balielo Jr. Report

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Feathered Dinosaur
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11 months ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My chick needed general anesthesia when she was only a year and 3 months old. She had been without food or drink for hours already and her procedure kept being delayed hour after hour. It was heartbreaking, because when I tried to comfort her it was even worse as she could *smell* the milk when holding her to my chest. And she didn't understand why I didn't give her anything. But I held out, because I KNOW dying of aspiration would be far, far worse than this!

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#3

30 Doctors Share The Dumbest Lies They've Heard From Patients "Do you have any medical problems?"

"No"

"So no diabetes?"

"No diabetes"

"What medications are you taking?"

"Metformin. For my diabetes."


I facepalm every time

Retinator99 , JESHOOTS.com Report

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Liz Clarke
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11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

A lot of people (thick ones though) seem to think if an illness is managed with medication it means they no longer have that illness

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Feathered Dinosaur
Community Member
11 months ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Oh God yes, every time. Same with blood pressure meds. 'You suffering from high blood pressure?" "No, my blood pressure is good". Turns out it's normal because of all the meds they're taking to lower it

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October
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

And also: 'Yes I am taking my metformin, dont know why my bloodsugar is sky high.' While the computer clearly shows they must have run out of metformin months ago.

acey-ace16 avatar
Ace
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If I take medication to stop the symptoms of an illness that's the same things as curing it, therefore I no longer have the illness. Seriously, it's not that hard to imagine how people can get their logic twisted like this.

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Fantastic Mr Fox
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yeah. How about start by asking "Do you take any medications?". Next ask "Do you have any other medical problems?". I thought doctors were smart :)

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R
Community Member
11 months ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Every. Single. Time! And also: any heart problems? No, my heart is perfect! But I take *heart medication* since my last three heart attacks. 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️

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Ladedah
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

RN here. I once met a patient who vehemently denied that they were diabetic. Their blood glucose was well over 800 upon arrival to the hospital. Every time the subject of diabetes management came up, they kept saying "But I'm not a diabetic!" Eventually, in frustration with their persistent denial, I ended up blurting out, "Well, if you weren't diabetic before, then you definitely are now." I typically try to be a bit more tactful than that... but damn!

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Tee Rat
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11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

800? Damn! My wife was pretty good with her numbers 90-125 but if she ever ran close to 180-200 she was pretty drowsy. Surprised they could still communicate.

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Jods
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11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The number of times I begged my GP to take me off Metformin and put me on something else. The stomach cramps were so painful and debilitating and together with the squits I was getting really fed up. Every diabetic review they told me those symptoms would disappear. After 4 years? They have now; once I started on Gliclizide instead.

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Kathy
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

First, glad to hear that you are feeling better with the new medication. Second: I was given Metformin on three occasions for periods of several months and I suffered intense migraines, diarrhea, nausea and vomiting, and stomach cramps so bad I would roll on the floor screaming every single day, and it never got better. I was so desperate that I googled everything I could find about Metformin, and then I found on several blogs the recommendation to always take the tablets on a full stomach, during or immediately after eating the main meal of the day, and not in the morning on an empty stomach, as I had been instructed to do. It has been a godsend to me, and I would recommend it to anyone struggling with the Metformin Monster! It may not work for everyone, but it is worth a try!

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Olivia Carr
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11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I am a cardiac surgeon. Our patients need a very detailed examination and history taking before surgery in order to safely stop their hearts. It's funny how many times we have this surreal conversation "do you suffer from any chronic illness?" "Noooo, I'm fine". Dude, we'll crack your chest open in 2 says, you are far away from "fine" land! Thank God we have the proper documentation available

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Megan Pippenger
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11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My mom had basically the opposite experience: she has hypoglycemia and takes a medication to help control her blood sugar that is commonly prescribed for diabetes. She had an urgent care nurse insist on putting diabetes in her medical record, even though my mom is NOT diabetic, and refused to listen to her explanation or her well-documented hypoglycemia. All because “Google says this medicine is used for diabetes.” I guess she had never heard of off-label uses… Mom has not gone back to that office.

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Megan Pippenger
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11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The next time my mom saw her PCP she was like “Why is there a random note in your records that says you’re diabetic? You are the opposite of diabetic.” “Well….”

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Cooter McCoughlin
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Doctors have prescribed it off-label to treat conditions outside its approved use. They believe it can slow aging, lower risk for dementia, prevent age related disease, etc. I've actually been hearing about this drug a lot lately for use outside diabetes.

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Mary Rogers
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I have heard about it for weight loss. But that is obviously not the case here. And doctors really shouldn't be prescribing off label because it is creating shortages of these medications for diabetics. They should wait until production ramps up. That's why I haven't asked my doctor about it for weight loss. I don't want to take it away from someone who needs it to survive!

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JelliTate
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11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

THIS IS MY MOTHER IN LAW!!! Every medication she takes she believes that she does not have the condition anymore. No high blood pressure, no cholesterol problems, no stroke risks (has had two strokes), no diabetes!!! She even tries to "take herself off" of the meds. I stopped trying to tell her that she should not stop her medications. I told her son that if she has another stroke or worse in our house, she's out. I hate that I feel this way but I have a mother in another state that I travel to care for and I am not available for her if she is trying to pretend that she does not have health issues!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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KOTLC_Fan 🇺🇦
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

well, they take the medicine and it gets rid of their diabetes! obviously!

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royal_antelope
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I sometimes ask patients about this and some apparently think, that since it's being treated, they don't have it anymore. So they're not annoying us on purpose. It's important to remember that.

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AngelWingsYT
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11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Their logic: if im taking the medication for it i dont have it

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Lisette Verkade
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10 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Maybe they didn’t think of type 2 as real diabetes or they figured since metformin the glucose was good they weren’t diabetic any more? 🤷‍♀️ yeah I know, doesn’t make sense to me either

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Aave
Community Member
10 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My mom had some nasty feeling heart arrhythmias and we called an ambulance just in case. They asked at least five times in different ways if she has any medications (she doesn't). "Do you have any medications?" "What medication do you take for X?" "And do you have any medication for that?" and so on... I guess it's so common to lie/forget about it. Mom was so annoyed though, she thought they just didn't listen to her at all 😅

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Dawnieangel76
Community Member
10 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

To be fair, metformin is also used to reverse PRE- diabetes.

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majandess
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I am mostly good about remembering my medications, but I almost always forget I have a hormonal IUD.

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Kathy
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm a home caregiver for geriatric patients, and the agency I work for isn't great at giving details on prospective patients, just Name and Address. So I get a new male patient added to my workload, first day on the job I ask whether he has any health conditions and/or medications I should know about, he says he is in fine health, never been better! His wife, who has a different caregiver, tells me she is diabetic and on a strict diet, but apart from that she is healthy. So fine, she sticks to her no-sugar diet but eats everything else on offer, he wolfs down carbohydrates and anything with sugar like it's going out of fashion. So a month later, I'm tidying up the place and find medication for diabetes, hypertension, high cholesterol, angina, etc - you name it, they had medication for it, both of them! So I ask them why they didn't tell me that they were taking pills for multiple serious conditions, and they insisted that since they were taking the pills, they weren't "sick" any more!

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Janine Carney
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I get that ALL the time too. They believe that since they are taking the medication for said medical condition that they do not have it anymore. It's incredible.

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Epona
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Is Metformin a prescription medication? A prescription that a doctor would have given the patient because they have diabetes? How do you forget that you have diabetes (unless it's being managed really well and doesn't have any severe symptoms or something like that)?

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Mary Rogers
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I don't think that they forgot. Rather, they have some denial going on, thinking that the medication fixes everything so they are not diabetic anymore.

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Pyla
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11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It's funny how humans are so driven by appetite and the flavors our brains crave that they are happy to be taking a drug that isn't a cure, but a way to sustain lower glucose. You still have type 2, baby. Funnily enough one of the ways they used to make sure they found Richard the 3rd in that parking log dig was to look at the oxygen isotopes he had in his bones, indicating where he lived and how rich his diet was toward the end of his life (he ate like a king!) We always seem to favor feast over perceived famine. Feast is killing us.

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Kathy
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It's all this stress we are living with nowadays, the brain goes into Emergency Mode and orders the body to stock up on fats and sugars in preparation for the coming famine!

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Stephanie Did It
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11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I think the reasoning here is that the person believes that their medication has 'cured' the condition and therefore they no longer have it. Another example: my blood pressure is no longer high because I take X medication, so if you ask me about hypertension, I'm going to say I don't have it. From the patient's POV, that is the truth.

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Mary Rogers
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I suspect it's more than just not understanding that they have an underlying illness. I think it's denial. If the medication fixes everything, then I don't have to worry about making any changes to my diet or exercise, or whatever else the doctor recommends.

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Susan Robinson
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11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I used to take Metformin as well, but not because I had diabetes.

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LALALand
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yes!! I'm an RN and this has happened to me before....."well I take Metformin but I don't have diabetes", I've had people get very defensive when I point that out.....

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Mary Rogers
Community Member
11 months ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Actually, I have read that some people take diabetes medication for weight loss, but they don't actually have diabetes. I don't remember if that particular medication is the one I read about though. But people taking it for weight loss are now creating a shortage of the medication that diabetics need in order to live, so that sucks. If it were not for that problem, I'd ask my doctor if I could try some to lose weight.

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#4

30 Doctors Share The Dumbest Lies They've Heard From Patients In the ER, 4 am, teenage girl and her parents arrive, she's been constipated for days and no poop has come out at all. I was busy so I ask the nurse to check if the patient indeed has poop and needs an enema. So a rectal exam is needed. A few minutes later the nurse urgently called me. When we uncovered the girl (she had tons of clothes) we just saw this cute little head popping out. A baby on the way.
' why didn't you tell us that you were pregnant?' I asked
"I'm not pregnant" she kept saying while I was cutting the umbilical cord
She lied to her parents (don't know how to this day) the whole pregnancy. She lived with them. I had to explain everything to the parents. They didn't have a clue and judging by their face, I believed them.

drneck , Pavel Danilyuk Report

#5

30 Doctors Share The Dumbest Lies They've Heard From Patients I fell down onto my couch and a cucumber was sticking up between the cushions. It went right in.

B1Turb0 , Karolina Grabowska Report

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#6

30 Doctors Share The Dumbest Lies They've Heard From Patients Had a patient show up the ER with a wound to the back of her head.

I say, “Hey Ms. X, what happened?”

“I don’t know, I picked up chicken from the gas station and went to bed. And this morning I noticed I was bleeding”

I start inspecting the wound. Looks like it tracks pretty far, and there’s this strange cotton-like material sticking out that is also tracking too deep to visualize. I press her some more about the circumstances because my ER Doc spider sense starts going off.


Me: “Were you assaulted? Did someone harm you? Were you in a car accident? Did something fall on you”

Patient: “No. I just went to bed. Maybe I got up in the middle of the night to use the bathroom”

Finally I decide to send her through the Donut Of Truth (aka get a CT scan) of her head before me and my trusty scalpel start seeing where this trail of mystery cotton leads.

The lady had a bullet lodged up against her skull bone.

Still don’t have an answer to the cotton, but I’m guessing the gun fired through some cloth.

When I told her she had a bullet in her head her response was “Oh. weird” and then she went back to playing candy crush on her phone.

HoopsyDaisy , Karolina Grabowska Report

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Bookworm
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11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Not an expert by any means, but this sounds like possible domestic abuse. Hope someone followed up.

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#7

30 Doctors Share The Dumbest Lies They've Heard From Patients Once I asked a patient if he had done any surgeries in the past and he said no. When we did a CT abdomen he had one kidney and signs of scarring, so I went back to ask what happened to the kidney. He said he has no idea and started winking at me and sweating. I took the hint and came back later when he was alone, turns out he sold his kidney because he lost a lot of money gambling.

Karakiali , cottonbro studio Report

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#8

30 Doctors Share The Dumbest Lies They've Heard From Patients One dude lied about being paralyzed after a lumbar puncture. Get a call from nurse patient says he can’t move legs following a lumbar puncture (spinal tap). I called the team that did the procedure and they assured me there was no indication of this sort of injury happening during the procedure but agreed with my plan to get an urgent MRI. I go to examine him and nurse says she thinks he moved one of his feet. Next thing I know he says he can actually move his legs again but they are feeling weird. Then this weird feeling turns into intense pain and he asks for intravenous narcotics (dilaudid). I tell him no because this story makes no sense.

By god it was a miracle I tell you when this man walked himself right out of the hospital after I refused the iv narcotics.

Also, the MRI was normal.

materiamasta , Tima Miroshnichenko Report

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#9

30 Doctors Share The Dumbest Lies They've Heard From Patients “I haven’t had sex in five years”

-woman who was actively in labor in the ED.

Soulja_Boy_Yellen , Jonathan Borba Report

#10

30 Doctors Share The Dumbest Lies They've Heard From Patients Honestly the "dumbest" lies are the one people who lie about how much alcohol or other drugs they use. Alcohol and benzodiazepine withdrawal can kill you, and if you use opioids from the street than you likely have a higher tolerance and may need more medications in the hospital so be honest, I truly don't care how much you drink/ use, I just don't want you to get worse for something we can plan for and prevent.

Shazamshazam2 , Isabella Mendes Report

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#11

When I was a Peds nurse, I had a super trashy lady come in with a 2 year old. She said the baby wasn’t eating or drinking anything. We admit the baby and legitimately start getting concerned because the food trays aren’t touched, no wet diapers, not drinking her juice, etc. Weigh is staying the same though.

The pediatrician asked me to sit outside the room and watch through a cracked window shade (that looked into the room). So I watch and this mother is shoving pizza and soda down this baby’s throat, the baby obviously has no interest for the mashed potato’s/chicken on her tray because she’s stuffed on junk food. The mom would change the diaper and hide it instead of leaving it to be weighed.

It was so bizarre and she completely denied doing it even though I saw her. Poor baby.

Immajustbrowse19 Report

#12

Nurse here. The absolute dumbest thing patients have said...and to be fair this was the patients parents since I was in Pedi but still dumb AF and caused no end of grief trying to unspin it.

I was rooming patients and I went to the full lobby and called the next one in by last name. They stand up and mom and dad bring the little girl back. I'm rooming them, take the vitals, review purpose of visit, make some adjustments to the chart, update their pharmacy and allergies and go out and let the pediatrician know they are ready.

The pediatrician goes into the room and come out like 3 minutes later and says...that's not my patient, where is my patient? I'm like wtf? I go in and ask the parents and no in fact they were not the patient. I'm like why did you say you were someone you were not? They simply said they didn't want to wait so they just came back.

We had to completely unspin all the changes to the chart and had to get legal involved to make sure there were no HIPAA violations, which fortunately, there weren't. I'm fascinated that people can collectively think...yeah, let's do this, no one will know. Like, how does that even play out in their minds?

NedTaggart Report

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#13

30 Doctors Share The Dumbest Lies They've Heard From Patients Dad is a physician and has a million funny stories. He told me this one from a few decades ago:

Had a patient come into the ER with a towel over his groin, covered in blood. Claimed he was cutting vegetables in his kitchen and the knife slipped. Dad takes a look and the guy is butchered down there. Had to call a urologist in the middle of the night to consult.

Guy eventually confesses to trying to give himself a circumcision because he didn't want to pay the $200 it would have cost. Urologist was able to help save... 'him', but it cost a helluva lot more than $200 for emergency penis surgery.

southernmayd , MART PRODUCTION Report

#14

I have one right now.

60 year old male hospitalized for an infection following a spinal fusion. He had surgery to remove the infected hardware, and has a cervical collar (neck brace) to stabilize his spine and a treatment plan that says to keep it on 24/7 for 4 weeks. It’s been 16 days and he removed it Sunday night. When confronted he told me that he had cleared it with his surgeon and told them he had removed it. He had not. I explained that he has an extremely unstable spine and the wrong move could result in irreversible quadriplegia, to which he responded, “I don’t think that’s going to happen. Even if there’s an explosion I’ll hold real still.”

On the phone with his sister, shouting into the speaker, he said, “well I took it off because it was so uncomfortable, at first my neck was real stiff but I shook my head a few times and something in there broke loose. It feels much better now.” While his nurse and I stared at each other in silent horror.

desperatevintage Report

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Rebelliousslug
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I am currently in need of neck surgery. I have had 3 and the thought of the period of wearing a neck brace 24/7 for several weeks after surgery honestly gives me panic attacks because it is absolutely miserable. Eventually I’ll have to face that, but I will hold out as long as I can. (Also the brutal pain afterwards is another deterrent)

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#15

30 Doctors Share The Dumbest Lies They've Heard From Patients I'm just a med student but a doctor shared this with us, she's a gynecologist and this women came to her complaining about how she hasn't gotten her periods in few months and well she was showing menopausal symptoms and in fact she looked almost 50 but she kept saying she's only 30 and she can't have menopause. It has a funny ending, when the doctor asked if the women had a kid and she said yes he's 27 y/o. Idk why people lie about their age but this was a funny story for the whole class

doctorbanns , Sergey Makashin Report

#16

30 Doctors Share The Dumbest Lies They've Heard From Patients Dude came in asking for a second vasectomy. It’s been 10 years since his first vasectomy with numerous sperm counts all being zero throughout the years. He now has a new baby. His sperm count is still zero and wants the vasectomy “fixed”. Didn’t know if he was lying to himself or not.

mrsuicideduck , Dominika Roseclay Report

#17

30 Doctors Share The Dumbest Lies They've Heard From Patients “Do you smoke cigarettes?”

“No, I quit!”

“When did you quit?”

“This morning”

BagelAmpersandLox , Maksim Goncharenok Report

#18

30 Doctors Share The Dumbest Lies They've Heard From Patients Part of my job is dealing with medical records- my favorite part is when you are reading the doctors notes and you can tell they are fed up with the patients b******t from their tone.

“Patient in for routine colonoscopy, asked if solids consumed in 24 hrs prior, patient confirms no. In process of procedure, several dozen kernels of corn are discovered in colon and cannot continue. Patient specifically instructed not to consume corn beforehand as this happened prior visit.”

YourStolenCharizard , Cats Coming Report

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Vix Spiderthrust
Community Member
11 months ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Before patients could access their own notes, medical personnel had common abbreviations for patients' b*llshit. The most common was MOB - Moaning Old Bastard

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#19

30 Doctors Share The Dumbest Lies They've Heard From Patients Their age. Had a woman say shes 30 when she clearly didn’t look it. Oh well I move on to other questions. Look at her files and lab reports have her real age on them. 41. Like y tho? What difference does it make lying to healthcare staff? This is health related, not ur tinder profile. Nobody gon see this n go I aint dating an old lady. Btw she was married with children.

BariumBromide2 , MART PRODUCTION Report

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Phillip Moderow
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Doc writes: "Nobody gon see this n go I aint dating an old lady." ... pairs well with "What's Wrong with Today's Society".

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#20

30 Doctors Share The Dumbest Lies They've Heard From Patients Occupational physical.

Have you ever had surgery?
No
Reveal chest. Ziper scar from a CABG.
Oh, yeah forgot about that.
(Forgot about a heart bypass)

WH1PL4SH180 , Vidal Balielo Jr. Report

#21

30 Doctors Share The Dumbest Lies They've Heard From Patients 1. Patient says to me; I was outside gardening while naked and I slipped. That’s how a massive potato ended up in my a*s.
Anybody want fries while he is waiting to get it removed?


2. How did you get that stab wound in your abdomen? I put a knife on the kitchen counter and forgot it was there. Then I walked into it.


3. Me - Have you had anything to eat or drink today prior to your surgery?
Patient- No (…with a half eaten candy bar in front of them).
Me - Are you sure? Because if you have, you could vomit upon going to sleep and it could enter your lungs, causing you to die.
Patient - then yes I have, I had half that candy bar.

4. This one guy repeatedly used to come in saying he hadn’t s**t in 7 days. This would usually necessitate a rectal examination with a finger. Thats why he kept saying it. Patient used to come in every time the new doctors rotated in, who wouldn’t be wise to his tricks.

5. One guy came in feigning unconsciousness. Did not respond to even the most painful of stimuli (some of these were pretty painful). Did not budge. We were talking amongst ourselves about intubating him. He then opened his eyes and said “they did that last time, I didn’t like it”.

Muted-Application-27 , Andrea Piacquadio Report

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Feathered Dinosaur
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11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That guy with the rectal exam, urgh. They shouod use this metal device (like tongs? Don't know the English word) for such examinations on him from then on. But he probably likes that, too...

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#22

30 Doctors Share The Dumbest Lies They've Heard From Patients I spilled all my adderall down the sink…again…twice in one week…of finals week at uni…

Oojin , Charles Williams Report

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#23

30 Doctors Share The Dumbest Lies They've Heard From Patients My little brother was a nurse for about a decade. He has said many times that people stick anything up their butts. From lightbulbs to hairbrushs to a golf shoe. And at first it's hilarious. Then after a year or so it's not funny because you've seen way too many distended buttholes.

Then after a decade or so it starts to get funny again because you think you've seen everything and then one day a 45 year old man is driven to the hospital by his wife and he has a golf shoe up his a*s and he told his wife that he and the boys were golfing and he slipped in the locker room and it got rammed up there completely disregarding the fact that the part of the shoe that is inside him is covered in Vaseline...

Jasole37 , Kawê Rodrigues Report

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Corvus
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11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

He slipped in the locker room and accidentally knocked down some vaseline, which spilled and smeared itself all over the shoe in the split-secomnd before he fell onto it, causing it wedge itself in... that's what really happened, honest! :D

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#24

1) A patient arrived with a bandage on his head saying he had fallen from his bed and injured it. After 1h in the waiting room, after removing the bandage, I could see part of his brain. Dude was in debt with drug dealers and was dragged through a highway tied to a car.

2) A middle aged man who lied about not taking viagra during a heart attack. This is a big problem because the medication we use may interact with the blue pill and worsen the condition. A high price to pay in order to defend some dumb idea of masculinity.

victorwillian Report

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A girl
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Commenting here because..so many "lie to medico" posts. My brother was a stoner and an alcoholic. He was also a hypochondriac. My advice was "Tell The Doctor Everything You Take". It matters so much. Even his colonoscopy protocol was altered to allow for his lifestyle. Anesthesia can kill you in general. Times 100 if you're not honest about your self medication.

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#25

30 Doctors Share The Dumbest Lies They've Heard From Patients Paramedic but this is a good one. We got called for “a man running down the street covered in blood.” While waiting to see if the cops found him, an off duty cop stopped by us and said he was looking for a guy who was breaking into an RV storage lot, and said he pumped 2 rounds of bird shot after him as he ran away. Nobody was found, so we headed back to station.

5 hours later we were called to a man who said he was in a car accident and had 80 pieces of bird shot in his back and legs.

bradorsomething , Wikidudeman Report

#26

Anything, to be honest. I honestly don't care what you do or don't do. Usually if I'm asking it's because it matters for your health care and if you lie about it all you're doing is putting yourself in danger.

As a more real example, I've had a post transition transgender patient lie about the sex they were born with. I understand it's hard to deal with a lot of the medical community that can be judgemental, but this patient ended up having prostate cancer. Only found out after we scanned them.

Another one lied about having prior back surgery before I was about to send them for an MRI. Did a physical exam and saw the scar. Asked again and they just said they didn't feel it was important and didn't want me to assume it was related to previous surgery. They were there for back and abdominal pain.

ArgentWren Report

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Lord Mysticlaw
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11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Unfortunately a lot of transgender people (and their families) don't know this. But when youre talking to a doctor or hospital, ESPECIALLY in an emergency, it's very very important for them to know which sex you were born as. They don't care how you identify, they care about what organs and hormones you have so that they can know what to look for and give you the correct diagnosis. Of course it would help a lot if people stopped using sex and gender as synonyms... but just a PSA for all the trans pandas 🏳️‍⚧️

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#27

30 Doctors Share The Dumbest Lies They've Heard From Patients Patient: “I haven’t drank alcohol in months!”

Patients family: “It’s true I’ve been with her the whole time.”

Me: “Ma’am your alcohol level is 325.”

Patient: “Impossible! I would never lie to you!”

jorgeojungle , Elina Sazonova Report

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Jill Hojnacki
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11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Quite possible to test drunk without having consumed alcohol if you have auto-brewery syndrome. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK513346/#:~:text=Auto%2Dbrewery%20syndrome%20or%20gut,oral%20cavity%2C%20or%20urinary%20system.

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#28

30 Doctors Share The Dumbest Lies They've Heard From Patients Adherence to medical treatment when I have literally pulled their pharmacy records and know they haven't picked up their medications in over a year...

DDmikeyDD , Mike Mozart Report

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Brenda
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11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This I don't understand. You have a choice about taking medicine or not. If you don't want to take it (or don't take it), at least be adult enough to admit it. No skin off my nose if you choose to die sooner as opposed to later.

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#29

30 Doctors Share The Dumbest Lies They've Heard From Patients Guy came in for a wound on his lower leg that he said came from a biking accident. X-ray revealed a bullet inside his ankle joint. The wound was from shooting himself by accident while holding a gun. Still don’t know how he didn’t fracture anything.

Cybariss , Caleb Oquendo Report

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Brenda
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11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Why lie about something like that? You know they're going to find the bullet as soon as they x-ray it!

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#30

30 Doctors Share The Dumbest Lies They've Heard From Patients A common one is about their smoking. Smoking is an enormous risk factor for fracture nonunion, meaning a fracture that doesn’t heal. When I walk into a nonunion patient’s exam room and it smells like a cigar den, I know they smoke. But they’ll tell me they don’t right to my face. Before signing them up for revision surgery I’ll commonly order a urine test for nicotine metabolites. Often it’ll turn out positive and suddenly surprised pikachu face.
.

Anthrotekkk , Denx arman Report

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Snorkeldorf
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11 months ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Problem is, medical insurance for smokers is a whole lot higher than for non smokers. When people have to pay for their own insurance, the monetary incentive to lie for medical records is enormous.

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Note: this post originally had 42 images. It’s been shortened to the top 30 images based on user votes.