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We’re always told by kind and caring teachers that “there’s no such thing as a stupid question.” And while this sentiment can be helpful in classrooms to ensure students feel safe, there comes a point in our lives where we learn that there actually are dumb questions. And we should probably keep them between us and Google…

One curious Reddit user recently asked others to share the dumbest things they’ve ever heard people say, and boy, did they deliver. From ignorant assumptions about history to blatant medical misinformation, there’s no end to what people will say stupid things about. Enjoy scrolling through these replies that might make you feel like a genius, and be sure to upvote the ones that make you facepalm!

#1

30 People Share The Absolute Dumbest Things They've Heard Come Out Of Someone's Mouth That there's no difference between turkey and ham because "they both come from birds."
I guess pigs really do fly in their world.

JustForKicks36 , Сергей Орловский Report

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ThatG
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9 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

“How to get around a religion prohibited food item 101”

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#2

30 People Share The Absolute Dumbest Things They've Heard Come Out Of Someone's Mouth "My chiropractor can cure autism with his bare hands and some essential oils." Too bad her chiropractor couldn't cure stupid.

Weedhopper24 , Karolina Grabowska Report

#3

30 People Share The Absolute Dumbest Things They've Heard Come Out Of Someone's Mouth This involves a conversation with a guy I used to work with who was trying to lose weight so he was cutting down on pasta.

Him : I've been doing pretty good, haven't had pasta in 2 weeks.

Me : That's awesome, what's that you got in your hand there?

Him : Mac and Cheese.

Me : I thought you said you haven't had pasta in 2 weeks?

Him : I haven't, this is Mac and cheese.

highfivesforgod , Tina Witherspoon Report

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MJ
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9 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Ah the good ol’ Mac n cheese diet. Wonder how it’s working for him.

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#4

30 People Share The Absolute Dumbest Things They've Heard Come Out Of Someone's Mouth I was microwaving some food, I hit the 1 so it would automatically cook it for a minute. My friend asked “Why did you put it in for a minute? I usually put mine in for 60 seconds”. I had to explain to him that it’s the same thing. We were in high school.

Gambit_Finale , Erik Mclean Report

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Robert T
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9 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Dumb, but I can understand the pack saying 60 seconds, and I can understand that some microwaves will let you enter 60 seconds, or 1 minute. The one that knows it is a minute is being more efficient in the number of buttons they have to press. Not knowing that 1 minute is the same as 60 seconds though....

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#5

30 People Share The Absolute Dumbest Things They've Heard Come Out Of Someone's Mouth I was talking with a man from Pakistan and he asked me what my core beliefs were. I said my core beliefs were rooted in science and he responded with ‘OH SCIENCE, so all you care about is plastic surgery boob jobs.’ He took the entire field of science and labeled it as ‘boob jobs’.

Physical-Song-3898 , philippe spitalier Report

#6

30 People Share The Absolute Dumbest Things They've Heard Come Out Of Someone's Mouth Was on the bus headed to class in Honolulu, a Southerner got on and asked the driver,

"Do y'all take American Dollars?"

The driver pointed at the American flag sticker on the window and with extreme exasperation said,

"You're in America."

revjor , Ant Rozetsky Report

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Noname
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9 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Years ago, I lived in Hawaii and when I moved back to the mainland, it took me a couple of months to get the plates on my car changed to the state I had moved too. More than once, people would see my Hawaii license plates on my car and ask me how I got the car to the mainland, to which I'd explain that I'd taken the toll bridge, and that it was a b*****h to do because it took 8 hours, there's a toll booth every 30 miles that required exact change, and only 2 rest stops along the way. The looks on their faces was priceless! (of course, I had the car shipped, but that's not a fun story, is it?)

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Vasana Phong
Community Member
9 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Should’ve just said “there’s a backroad that only the locals use to get on the mainland “

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Adam S
Community Member
9 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I’d say it’s equally stupid to ask if somewhere they thought was outside of the US takes US dollars. I worked in a shop in London and it happened EVERY DAY.

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Noname
Community Member
9 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

In some parts of Canada, they accept both American and Canadian currency.

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Ron Man
Community Member
9 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This kind of thing drives me nuts. There are people who will argue with you if you tell them that New Mexico is a state.

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Noname
Community Member
9 months ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Well, Hawaii used to be a nation until the US government overthrew the monarchy and took the islands for itself in 1893.

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Robert T
Community Member
9 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Are Hawaian dollars actually the same as regular US dollars? In the UK, the individual countries can issue their own notes. It is not unusual for shops in England to turn their noses up at Scottish money. It is all still legal tender and can be spent in any part of the UK. It does make checking for counterfeit notes harder as staff need to be trained on all variations.

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Ralph Watkins
Community Member
9 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

A lot of US service members serving in Okinawa will order car from the PX before coming back to the US mainland. They were shipped to the port of Seattle where the soldier or sailor picked them up. They already had a license plate & registration from Guam. My buddy picked up his car & was stopped multiple times by the state police, local cops, & even the MPs. He had non-American tags on his car.

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cruceskeith X
Community Member
9 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I lived in New Mexico. My wife and I drove to North Carolina. We were stupefied at how many people asked if we needed Passports to come to the U.S.

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Lipstick Hippie
Community Member
9 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Reminds me of the time hubby and I were planning a vacation to Maui and I made the mistake of wondering out loud what the exchange rate was. It's bee over 20 years and he still brings it up.

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Kraneia The Dancing Dryad
Community Member
9 months ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

There for a while, money in Hawaii was slightly different than the stuff you paid with on the mainland. This was during WW2, in case Japan captured Hawaii. The money would cease to be legal tender in that case.

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Peter Kovak
Community Member
9 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

"You're in America"...Well, nice! That really means he might be anywhere between Argentina and Canada!

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Xenon
Community Member
9 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Being from the northeast originally, every place would take Canadian quarters and think nothing of it. I tried to buy something with one when I lived in Hawaii. "This foreign money, I can't take that" I had to laugh.

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Seadog
Community Member
9 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Had a restaurant manger in Roanoke Virginia welcome my SIL to the United States...3 times after we told him he's in the Army and is visiting from Alaska. It was all we and the server could do not to laugh. And no SIL does not look non-American in any way. He's just a good ole boy from WV.

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CC Boom
Community Member
9 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Because being from the south makes you dumb? Thanks for that

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PrettyJoyBird
Community Member
9 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yup someone asked me years ago if i needed a passport to fly there visit my family from mainland. Bc they knew it was part of USA but detached...their words not mine.

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Lu
Community Member
9 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

And this is why I like to vacation in Hawaii. There’s a skills test to get there.

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ASC2901 Student
Community Member
9 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

after moving there from japan, I still struggle to pay exact amounts so I usually just give bill and tell them to keep the cash 🤷‍♀️

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Michael Largey
Community Member
9 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yes, Hawaii is in fact one of those loyal American states - the ones who didn't try to seceed.

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Pablo Ramos
Community Member
9 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

No you're not. United States lands go beyond the ones in the continent called America. I Hawaii, Guam you are in the United States, but you're not in America.

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BlackestDawn
Community Member
9 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

America is also often used as a short/alternative form for USA, especially by USA citizens.

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#7

30 People Share The Absolute Dumbest Things They've Heard Come Out Of Someone's Mouth “How long does it take the meat to grow back on a cow when you shave it off?”

Bright_Ad_2848 Report

#8

30 People Share The Absolute Dumbest Things They've Heard Come Out Of Someone's Mouth *a new hire at the cotton mill that had dropped out of school to go to work*


"How long do we get off for spring break?"

TrailerParkPrepper , Wendy Wei Report

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#9

30 People Share The Absolute Dumbest Things They've Heard Come Out Of Someone's Mouth Someone in our group lost a flip flop in a river, we watched it float down stream.

Another person in our group said to be patient because it’ll eventually do a full loop and come back.

herpaderp_maplesyrup , david ortega Report

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#10

"Salmonella is only caused by salmon. You're a chef you should know that"

JoyIsDumb Report

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Holy Shimmering Sheeps541t
Community Member
9 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Campylobacter is caused by tents. Listeria is caused by people making lists or leaning sideways.Norovirus is caused by people in boats not rowing.

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#11

30 People Share The Absolute Dumbest Things They've Heard Come Out Of Someone's Mouth You can't get pregnant if you are on top

Content_Pool_1391 , Ömürden Cengiz Report

#12

30 People Share The Absolute Dumbest Things They've Heard Come Out Of Someone's Mouth I dated a girl who thought sea horses were the size of regular horses. She was so disappointed at the aquarium

hdycta-weddingcake , naomi tamar Report

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Moomin from Denmark
Community Member
9 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

To be honest: when you see pictures of seahorses, there's never a banana for scale

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#13

30 People Share The Absolute Dumbest Things They've Heard Come Out Of Someone's Mouth "I'm allergic to oxygen."

I asked if they meant to say 'oxycodone' and they insisted, no, they were allergic to oxygen.

dragonfeet1 , Eli DeFaria Report

#14

When I was working a customer service job a lady was verifying her serial number and said Z as in xylophone. My brain literally shut off for about 10 seconds.

TerrTheSilent Report

#15

30 People Share The Absolute Dumbest Things They've Heard Come Out Of Someone's Mouth “Well she never got pregnant before” after his gf got pregnant and after asking my friend why didn’t he use protection.

tuotone75 , cottonbro studio Report

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#16

30 People Share The Absolute Dumbest Things They've Heard Come Out Of Someone's Mouth "Its forbidden to smoke indoors now, but immigrants are allowed to live!"

She was dead serious.

I am hardly ever speechless, but that was one of these rare occasions.

Moedrynk , Kristaps Solims Report

#17

30 People Share The Absolute Dumbest Things They've Heard Come Out Of Someone's Mouth A manager at my old job thought Alaska was an island next to Hawaii, because that's what it looks like on a map.

Also asked me one day if you could get an std from breathing the same air as someone with an std.

There were more but I can't remember the rest.

And this person was in charge...

DaveBelmont , Pixabay Report

#18

30 People Share The Absolute Dumbest Things They've Heard Come Out Of Someone's Mouth “You have your facts and I’ll have my facts”

anon12xyz , Peter Miranda Report

#19

30 People Share The Absolute Dumbest Things They've Heard Come Out Of Someone's Mouth These fireworks are wet. I'm gonna dry them off in the microwave.

EmotionalMycologist9 , Yiran Yang Report

#20

30 People Share The Absolute Dumbest Things They've Heard Come Out Of Someone's Mouth “I don’t have a girlfriend because females are too intimidated because of my career.”

He was an assistant manager at Outback Steakhouse.

DauxRaeMeMeMe , Max Nayman Report

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Harley
Community Member
9 months ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Maybe females are actually inviting him out on dates but since he works at outback it’s all just a giant missed steak

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#21

30 People Share The Absolute Dumbest Things They've Heard Come Out Of Someone's Mouth “What year did this happen?”
We were watching the Lord of the Rings

OverTheCandlestik Report

#23

30 People Share The Absolute Dumbest Things They've Heard Come Out Of Someone's Mouth If you drink a coke & then a diet coke, the sugar cancels out.

ScribblingOff87 , Ayesha Ch Report

#24

30 People Share The Absolute Dumbest Things They've Heard Come Out Of Someone's Mouth I knew someone who thought the sun and the moon were the same thing. She was 18 and just graduated high school.

AaronD1986 , Matt Nelson Report

#25

I didn't take the promotion, because I would be paying too much in taxes.

dwightsrus Report

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Makabert Abylons
Community Member
9 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You will still end up with a better paycheck, and if you live outside of the US you will also get something in return for those taxes, Others will to.

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#26

“People in England knew about the Queen’s passing before we did (Americans) because of the time difference!”
Meaning that because of the time difference, English people are somehow 6-8 hours AHEAD in the future??

whatsnewadisposable Report

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StrangeOne
Community Member
9 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I always make that joke, and thinking about time is a brain f**k. Once you realize that we're all living on this big rock and that everyone's position in relation to the sun is just that, the where you are. And Earth isn't a time machine. I actually confused myself thinking about it.

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#27

30 People Share The Absolute Dumbest Things They've Heard Come Out Of Someone's Mouth Years ago, I found myself watching MTV “Street Smarts” with a man I had recently met. The question asked on the show was to put these events in chronological order from oldest to most recent, the events were: Civil War, Man on the Moon, Ice Age. I laughed, I joked what a ridiculous question it was, he didn’t seem the least amused, so I asked him, you know this, right? He replied, “I’m not good with dates”

bigshotz76 Report

#29

30 People Share The Absolute Dumbest Things They've Heard Come Out Of Someone's Mouth I was solving a Rubik's cube and a guy asked me how many sides it has and if I can make them all blue

MrLambNugget , Olav Ahrens Røtne Report

#30

30 People Share The Absolute Dumbest Things They've Heard Come Out Of Someone's Mouth I dated a girl who thought “the hole in the ozone layer are where the space shuttle come through to land.”

Father_Bones , NASA Report

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