Somebody Asked People To Share Double Standards They Hate, And 50 Responses Were Spot-On
“Lower your standards and expectations and you will never be disappointed!” – Hannah Hart, My Drunk Kitchen.
While this does effectively resolve the problem of double standards (any standards, actually), in the real world, alas, we can’t help but laugh at it and then, with that little bit of comedic positivity, move on to tackling the issue at hand by bringing it to light in a Reddit thread.
Incidentally, that happened with folks listing all the double standards that they just can’t stomach. Whether on a personal level or on a structural, cultural, societal or economic one.
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I said it last time I saw this and I’ll say it until the point gets across to whoever needs it:
If you don’t like abortion, ignore it like you do the kids in the foster system.
Exactly. Might I also add that while many anti abortion people say it's acceptable if the mother's life is in danger...why is it now so many doctors (especially OB and ER doctors) have to be so fearful of prison or loss of licence even with proof of the mother's danger? Or when there is proof of miscarriage with no chance of it reversing, and the mother is left to bleed out until the "heartbeat" is gone. Laws have become too restricted vague for the exceptions. You can't allow exceptions then turn around and make those exceptions impossible to happen. Edited to fix my restrictions and exceptions mix-ups
Was it Texas they were going to try and let the mother and baby die recently instead of letting her access an abortion? Its not about babies, it's about controlling women. Do
Load More Replies...NOBODY literally NOBODY "Likes Abortion". It's a nasty tragic event that is VERY necessary. Now if you want to PREVENT abortions, then the best way is through comprehensive sexual education at an early age. Abstinence does not work. Any typical hetero-normative teenager is proof of that. So Teach the kids what to do and not to do and make sure birth control is available and you will see fewer abortions. You can't stop people from having sex, but you can encourage them to do it without the risk of pregnancy.
Which is great, as long as doing so you acknowledge that it's nowhere near as common as some think that abortion is used as one's main source of birth control. We need to make it understood during sex education that none of the usual means of birth control is 100% so it's best to use more than one (and like you said, make them all easily accessible/available to everyone). Even then, abortion still needs to be available, because it's not a black and white issue, ever and reasons for its need (many reasons at that) will still exist.
Load More Replies...If you don't vote, and Trump wins, YOU technically voted for Trump. Is Biden a great choice? No. Is Biden going to federally ban abortion, or make himself a dictator? NO.
Trump can’t legally make himself and dictator or federally ban abortion, but he can do a lot to damage this country. So yeah, vote for Biden
Load More Replies...If you don't like abortion, don't get one, do everything in your power to prevent if for yourself. And for anyone else, mind your own business. Abortion is a medical procedure between a woman and her doctor - no one invited you in. And if your religion is against them, that is a YOU thing, not a societal one.
"We will make sure that when a kid is in the womb, they're as safe as they are in a classroom..." - Sarah Huckabee Sanders. That pretty much sums it up
Or...looking at you GOP... wishing to defund to fund WIC, SNAP, and Medicaid
While also benefitting from free medical care while in office.
Load More Replies...Remember that story about the awful woman who talked another woman out of getting an abortion, then lost her s**t when the new mother put the kid up for adoption with her as the preferred foster parent? Man that was glorious to behold. "OMG NO I DON'T HAVE THE TIME OR MONEY FOR A KID THIS IS GOING TO RUIN MY LIFE!!!"
I'm pro-choice, but here's the thing: Anti-choice people do not merely "dislike" abortion. Many really, truly believe that it's morally abhorrent. Many of them are motivated by religion and really, truly believe that their religion gives them a right (if not a *duty*) to interfere in others' lives. "My body, my choice" is not value neutral. It's the very ground that this battle must be fought over.
I believe (as a child brought up in a religious Christian home) that they don’t even know what they believe. They are brainwashed to think it’s bad because that’s what they’re told; but if you ask them to give any other reason why abortion shouldn’t be legal, they have no other answer, just the rhetoric they’ve been brainwashed to repeat.
Load More Replies...How a man can get a vasectomy without any questions asked, but if a woman wants to get her tubes tied, then it's all hands on deck to gaslight her into changing her mind.
In some states they even require the husband's permission! I'm in Louisiana and technically still married to my ex. I had uterine cancer and needed a hysterectomy they wanted me to break a restraining order to have him come in with me to agree to sign off on a hysterectomy. I said f@ck that and went to another state which is sad that I had to do that but yeah women have no say over their bodies at all.
My mom had a terrible breech/preemie birth with my younger brother in the early 80s in KY. They both almost died. She needed my father's permission to get her tubes tied. Her doctor stepped out, mom signed his name, doctor walked back in, and said loudly "Oh nice to see you again, Mr....". Took her to surgery, tied them and even went so far as to remove one, and dad never knew a thing. When he did find out months out? He shrugged. He was thrilled that they both made it, my brother was out of the hospital finally, and that they didn't need condoms anymore. Win/win! He knew it was her body!! When she told him that she signed his name and the whole routine with the doc he laughed at her shenanigans because he would signed easily but was mad that she needed a man. She was over 30 years old!!!
Load More Replies...I hate that insurance will cover a vasectomy no questions asked but will not cover a hysterectomy by choice. I hate to bring politics into this but the only way to get our rights back is to VOTE Democrat the Republicans have lost their minds. They want woman to be like it was before we had rights. Sorry but NO to that bs.
Democrats are seriously not much better. They just try to pretend like they are. The answer is to burn dc to the ground and run all of those rich a*s men out of office and enforce the separation of church and state. No one in Washington gives a single f**k about us lowly commoners.
Load More Replies...Vasectomies are way faster and less invasive though. I recommend them for any man who has no interest in children.
I like you ray and I like what you add to conversations usually, but this one is NOT the point. I agree with what you’re saying, but it just seems to be the wrong place to make it. We are talking about women being blocked of receiving healthcare that is essentially the same as a vasectomy, because apparently women are too stupid to know what’s best for them and need men to make those decisions for her. I’m absolutely positive you did not have to ask any woman to sign off on your vasectomy and the insurance company didn’t blink an eye to approve you.
Load More Replies...Your body, your choice. Equally. I say it again: YOUR body, YOUR choice.
My friend almost died due to blood loss after her baby 4. She was 26 and had had 4 kids in 5 years. Almost f*****g died and doctors wouldn't tie her tunes but told her if you get pregnant again you will die. How's that?
sounds like a skill issue on the part of her and whoeever shes sleeping with.
Load More Replies...This is a long-standing problem. I had a tubal ligation in 1974. I went to 4 (four!) doctors. Every single one required a signed affidavit giving my husband’s permission. We finally caved. Absurd.
Not completely true, here in the Netherlands, if a man is younger than 30, you can't immediately get a vasectomy, you need to have a conversation with a doctor first about being sure about never having kids. I don't know how hard or easy it is to convince the doctor, but I do know that many (or all?) places here won't perform the vasectomy without it.
I wish it was that simple for women to get their tubes tied.
Load More Replies...Religious institutions taking in enormous amounts of money but don’t have to pay taxes on it.
Churches, etc. are businesses. They are in the business of religion and should be treated as such. Agnostic business must pay taxes so should those with beliefs.
There’s more nuance to it than that. Not all churches are businesses, and some churches are considered charities because they host food drives, charity events, and donate clothing and things
Load More Replies...Like Scientology. The IRS basically gave up trying to prevent Scientology from becoming tax exempt. Scientology hired so many lawyers to fight the IRS. They even had undercover members in government jobs to sabotage the investigation against them.
All religious cults are frauds. EVERY cult should be searched and records seized, and any documents about X assault or pedophilia prosecuted. If they want to be untaxed, then they forfeit due process.
Here in Italy it is an argument I often hear, but the reality is that every non-profit organization get tax exemptions and help on their non-profit side. So if I want to open a bar in the church I would need to pay taxes same like every other bar. The problem is when there are for-profit masquerading as non-profit
Many such institutions do a lot of good work, sure some like Ostentein's church hoard it, but I know a local religious institution that operates on a mult-million dollar budget but operates a food pantry, helps low income students get into private schools from bad public schools (covering the cost), runs after school programs, a teen youth center, summer programs, community job fairs, etc. They take in a ton of money, and do a lot of good with it.
I disagree with this one. I happen to like separation of church and state. I fear taxing churches would erode that wall.
May be different in your country but here, being a minister does not give you a living wage. Religious ministers have to get a second job in order to get enough money to survive.
Where is "here"exactly? Are you saying because a religious organization doesn't pay a minister at all or enough to live on that they shouldn't have to pay taxes? I certainly hope when those same organizations appear to take in millions or billions each year.
Load More Replies...Define religious institutions? MANY pay quite a bit. The POPE of all people has finally be TOLD the REAL rules in the US & IS taking action. He's not perfect, but very few are.
Personal planes and mansions in the name of "god" with no tax responsibility but homeless people are made to feel that they are burdens on society?
Double standards are commonly viewed as a bad thing. No surprise there—nobody likes to be treated differently than anyone else unless it has a positive effect on them. But even then someone other than the beneficiary is put at a disadvantage and that is also not good. So, the idea would be to be treated equally regardless of circumstance.
Wealthy get away with crimes that would put a poor person in prison. The world is only fair to those who have the most.
The law is like a spiders web. A small thing is caught and cannot escape, but a big thing can break through and struggle free. Also, "Laws are like sausages. You lose a lot of respect for them when you see how they're made." -Bismarck
Don't forget whites getting slaps on the wrist for worse crimes than Black people get life sentences. Remember Bruce Bartman, white republiclown, guilty of TWO cases of voter fraud in 2020, gets probation? Meanwhile Pamela Moses, a Black woman, was told BY THE GOVERNMENT that she could vote again, so she attempts to REGISTER to vote - not submit a vote, just registers. And she gets five years in prison. Explain how that is "equal treatment".
I got into some trouble when I was younger and ended up spending 6 months in jail. DUI, thankfully no one was hurt. This was my first offense. I had to have a court appointed attorney who I met 5 minutes before meeting with the judge. It did not go in my favor and I went to jail. I found out from the other inmates that my court appointed attorney had a nickname. 'Upstate Steve' because most of his clients end up in the prison upstate. I also remember another inmate, she was there for her 3rd DUI. Her family had money though apparently and was able to pay for a lawyer. She was there for 5 days with a slap on the wrist. I was guilty, but come on! The whole legal system is a big issue that we need to address.
It always come down to who has the better more convincing laywer guilt or innocence has nothing to do with it.
Load More Replies...Epstein got away with the most heinous crimes for decades because he was rich. They're handling Trump with kid gloves in New York because he's rich.
People call their dogs their fur children but when I call my children my skin dogs people think it's weird.
He got weird looks because they're not skin dogs, they're hairless pups :P
Load More Replies...I've been calling them furless puppies for years. I think everyone is used to me by now
I've joked to folks who have children and dogs "A human puppy!"
Load More Replies...Because it is weird. Though I had to laugh. Werid does not always equal "bad" or "horrible".
On multiple occasions have seen a woman beat up on a man and nobody intervenes. The moment he pushes back to defend himself then you get all these white knights intervening. Disgusting double standard- nobody should hit anyone and if you hit someone you shouldnt expect to be immune from retaliation because of the genitals you have.
A few years ago on a chat show here in the uk, a young man was on telling his story about how his girlfriend was physically and emotionally abusing him and how it drove him to consider jumping off his balcony. People in the audience were giggling at him until the presenter snapped at them.
That is so sad. Just, sad. What is wrong with those people?
Load More Replies...I'm a dude, was married to a violent woman, half my size. Took almost daily beatings. It was painful, but mostly mental pain. Obviously I could've defended myself, but I just can't hurt a woman. It's the most pathetic thing a man can do. One time she started whipping me with a phone charger, broke a skin on few lashes. I pushed her back, knowing there's a sofa behind her, on which she landed. That's all I did. From that moment I was a wifebeater. I filed for a divorce soon after.
That's horrible. Hope you have successfully moved on and healed from that abuse and have loving and caring people beside you now. ❤️
Load More Replies...My last GF used to get drunk on whiskey and beat the c**p out of me. I never hit back because she was all of 130lb soaking wet and if I ever did, I'd go to jail.
That's horrible. Hope you have healed from the abuse and have trustworthy and loving people around you now. We here on BP love you too ❤️ keep safe.
Load More Replies...I have stepped in between a man and woman where the woman was the aggressor and instigator. She tried to hit me. I told her to do it. I hit back. Her husband wasn't and wouldn't. He told me he appreciated it but that she was bipolar and off her meds. I immediately understood. My mom is bipolar but never violent but I've seen it many times in other people. We began to try to calm her down but police were called and they asked me to leave. She was taken to the hopsital and admitted. (Small town + Facebook) Step up. Abuse is abuse. And you might be able to help diffuse a situation and protect someone, even temporarily.
I'm glad you stepped in. I once intervened in what looked like horseplay, just in case. I asked the man "Are you okay?" He was fine and both were laughing. No regrets in checking.
Load More Replies...On the one hand, yes, I agree. We should not ignore, nor should we minimize (and especially we should not make a joke of) domestic violence against men. Hitting me is not okay. That said, I do feel there's a difference in magnitude here between the effect of a woman hitting a man vs a man hitting a woman. A person can hit me. Doesn't mean I have to retaliate.
Well bully for you, but that doesn't change the fact that if you hit someone, you should expect to get hit back. When the order of operations is you hit someone, who hits back in self defense it doesn't make the aggressor the victim.
Load More Replies...But there is often a difference in a woman’s hit and a man’s hit so I guess if he pulls his punches as it were, not hit her full force. I think the right thing to do if a person is stronger is restrain the other person or push away, or maybe a good slap to knock sense in them. Defend yourself, yes! Pummel a weaker person, nah. But I was always taught pick on someone your own size—goes both ways. Don’t hit someone smaller but conversely if u smaller don’t hit someone bigger—they may just hit u back and u ain’t gonna like it.
Load More Replies...I once thought, “There is NEVER a reason for a man to hit a woman!” Then my dad punched my egg donor, once. He broke her cheek. Before you rear up in outrage… she was trying to stab him in the throat with kitchen scissors. Violence against anyone is never funny, it should never be tolerated from one gender against another just because you can hit harder. Nowadays, my POV is if she is trying to physically hurt or kill you, you have every right to self defence. Dad was lucky. She refused to press charges. Mostly because I told the hospital staff (with her sitting right there) who were urging her to go to the police, that if she did, I would take my 3 younger siblings who witnessed her attack on him to describe what they saw. Their attitude did a 180, she didn’t enjoy her stay.
Men are physically stronger and capable of inflicting more damage than they are aware of. A woman in a real fight with a man is more likely to need help to make it a fair fight.
Now, the pursuit of equality is a very commendable thing. However, soon you are faced with another problem, and that is how far will you take it? Pushing it to an extreme is not an option, so where do you draw the line?
This is where you might start to realize that there isn’t really any ideal place to be in terms of being treated equally as there are too many variables to consider without going overboard. It has to be realistically reasonable, right?
People like my step-father-in-law who have been on Medicare disability for the majority of their lives who rage about socialism and people wanting handouts.
I had a 21 year old mentally disabled kid on disability who complained about people living off the government. Kept telling him that he was the one. Of course if he understood that he would not have been on disability.
He repeats what he has heard from people he trusts. I wonder what else they have said.
Load More Replies...There's a guy up the street living in subsidized housing who's a total MAGA who has anti-government stickers all over his truck. Dude lives in Section-8 housing and has no self awareness.
Unlike my father in law, who didn't want to collect his state pension because he felt it was "charity". It's not mate, it's national insurance, you insured yourself against turning 65 so now you can collect. Luckily my mother in law had no such compunctions and collected it for him.
My neighbor's like this. Hates "socialism" but loves her social security check and the local library.
A lot of conservatives are total hypocrites. In his book "Collapse" Jared Diamond mentioned residents of rural Montana who threatened a local politician when she attempted to raise their taxes, but howled for the Federal government to send firefighting choppers - which cost upwards of $3000 an hour to operate - to save their skins from wildfires.
Load More Replies...Medicare is NOT a handout for the majority of us. I paid into the system for 50 f*****g years; that money is MINE!!!
Medicare is only for seniors. I don't think anyone thinks that's a handout however, Medicaid is for low income and disabled adults and that is what people Believe is a handout
Load More Replies...The stories in the comments here are exactly the same as the stories from women's health care, rightwingnuts who are anti-abortion until THEY need one, then somehow they're exempt or "special" and the same standards don't apply to them.
"The only moral abortion is MY abortion" Says those who are forced-birthers/anti-choice. And when they do need one due to a severe medical need and cant get one, they sob, "I didn't think this would ever happen to me. I need one! This is so unfair." Stfu, you voted for it. Leopards indeed eat faces. (Not 'you' as in YOU but 'you' as in our very legit anti-choice women/men).
Load More Replies...Wife is on disability. She was incensed that the checkout girl at grocery wondered if the 40# box of chicken quarters($20) we purchased would be an acceptable expense for her "Bridge card" (Michigan food stamps). I assured her it was, and the taxpayers would be thrilled with her making such a smart decision as well as she having a supply of protein for quite a while. When my wife complained in the car, I said "you know, many people think you getting disability but still be able to work for some income scams the system". "This woman is working as a checkout person, presumably 40 hrs/wk, and needs Bridge to get by. I am ABSOLUTELY ok with that."
Good for you, Geoffrey! I wish more people had that attitude, it’s so weird how people get bent out of shape over benefits programs that ACTUALLY HELP PEOPLE WHO NEED IT
Load More Replies...21 year old kid I was training. Telling me how big of a conservative he was. When we get talkin about family stuff. He’s got a girlfriend who’s pregnant but they are waiting until after the birth to get married. She doesn’t work so access will pay for birth. Job he was starting had full benefits starting day one. Still wanted the state to pay.
There is a great deal of difference between those that cannot work and those that won't. Learn to tell the difference.
My aunt applied for Medicaid (medical insurance for the disabled/indigent), and when she didn’t qualify, she went ranting and raving about how many people get it that shouldn’t and how they live off the government. She was mad about a government benefit because she didn’t qualify. The irony.
Nobody asks my husband how he juggles a career and children.
If he was a single dad he would get all the praise in the world, but a single mom is just kind of normal, even looked down on in some instances.
That single dad is being discriminated against, every time he takes his small children out in public. It is also being assumed by many that he must have more help than a single mother, because of the assumption men are less capable as parents.
Load More Replies...Yes exactly, chances are he isn't juggling anything.
Load More Replies...BUT, how often is he asked how well he can JUGGLE? How often are you asked this question? I'm asked this question all the time! Of course, I'm a clown ...
The marriages i've seen have the women working full time AND taking care of the kids. The husbands come home and put their feet up.
Because most dads doesn't need to juggle both it is left to the woman to do.
My dog stares at me like I owe him a portion of all my meals, and yet not once has he offered me any of his food.
My dog brings me her toys all the time, but I'm not allowed to touch them. 😆😆😆
My goldens are RETRIEVERS not GIVERS. They happily bring me their toys that they have retriever like the good girls they are, but they just want me to look, not touch lol
Load More Replies...My mum makes these homemade dog cookies that are basically just flour and cheese biscuits…..they’re really tasty, she’s always laughing about “oh Astro’s here, we should probably hide the dog biscuits or she’ll eat them all” hahaha
Load More Replies...SIL and BIL's dog would sit there staring and try to shame you for not sharing. Until you looked at her, then she would look away. Like "yeah, real nonchalance there Kaitie"
My owners have never once let me chew on their silvervine sticks.
And so once that black and white type of thinking subsides, folks might humor the idea that maybe double standards aren’t some evil social construct that benefits those better off. Because that’s the core problem of double standards—that they put someone at a disadvantage or someone else has the potential to benefit from it.
Racial prejudice is never ok, no matter what your skin color is.
Likewise antisemitism (or prejudice against any other religion) is not okay, no matter what your religion is.
Here's the distinction we often fail to make when it comes to this though. Are we talking about religion or the religious? No, we shouldn't be prejudice towards people based on their religion. All of us should have the right to practice any religion and not be discriminated against. However, people have every right to scrutinize religions and hold their ideas to account. These are not the same thing, but people often conflate the two.
Load More Replies...I think all these comments are missing the point of the post. Its saying NO ONE should be judged by their race or skin color; they said NOTHING about religion.
I get thrown the "racist" card all the time at work. I had one guy (who was stealing) say to me "is it coz I'm black?" And my reply was " no I don't care that your black it's coz your a theiving c**t" This is my go to answer now when people accuse me of being racist
Unless there’s a real crime or other offense being committed—-real meaning by law, NOT religious laws, but civil laws—-I’d say we should just live and let live. As long as everyone is a fully consenting adult, and they’re not trying to coerce you to join them or otherwise throwing what they’re doing in your face, just let them alone to make themselves happy. Jump in and help if it goes wrong, of course. But otherwise, give them the same consideration you ask for, when it comes to your private life (again, as long as no civil laws are being broken).
Racism and systematic racism are not the same thing. I'm a white foreigner living in an Asian country. Yeah, once in a while a taxi driver will skip me and pick up the local person 20 metres past me. But I'm NOT subjected to denial of employment, DON'T hear daily racist insults and harassment, NOT threatened or called a "spreader of disease", NOT denied medical care or legal protections, etc. Many times, people in these places bend over backwards to help me. If they went to my country (I'm not a yank), I guarantee these people would NOT be treated with the same respect and courtesy I get on a daily basis.
Exactly this, I'm white and lived in Uganda for a few years. Sure I had people ask If they could touch my skin or hair or like you be skipped over in a queue. But this was a largely curiosity and b they often thought i was a tourist. I was never denied any civil liberties. When I say I'm white I mean glaring white and hilariously one of my housemates decided I was so white that my skin sometimes looked blue so they nicknamed me this! The realy funny part that I'm the irish language (gaeilge) the term for a black man directly translates to blue man (fear gorm)! The reason being for maybe a 1000 years irish people had never seen or heard of a black person so there was no need for a phrase. The devil however which in English is often known as the dark Lord is called the black man (fear dubh)!
Load More Replies...People who make comments that take attention from the original post instead making their own post to introduce their thoughts
Tangents can seem irrelevant, but I don't mind them if they're interesting or necessary. If dialogue can educate and help someone, why not?
Load More Replies...YES. Why is it pointed out SO much with certain races and not all across the board?
White Russian girl here----about one or two years back, I was on my annual summer trip to Vermont with my family. We'd always go to a sailing camp on Lake Champlain---fun stuff, me and my little brother loved it. On the second day of camp, these two black boys joined (the camp was Monday-Friday). They were very rude to both themselves and everyone else around them. When they found out I was Russian (this was a little time after the war started), they made it their mission to do everything to make me feel miserable and excluded. They'd spray me with water, shove the boat I was using, call me a "Russian spy" and tell me to "go back to Russia" (I was born in Virginia). It was awful. And the worst part? Vermont was very pro-BLM, so if I said anything about them I'd be accused of being racist. Also because of their status as "precious, victimized, protected Black people" they got into the $300+ camp for free. I learned that day that Black people can, in fact, also be racists.
If you are an a$$hole it doesn't matter what color you are or which God you pray to you are still an a$$hole... if on the better hand if you ate a decent person the same goes...
Bunch of people dress in their fav football teams colours and watch a match.... acceptable. Bunch of people dress up as their fav characters and attend a comic con... bunch of wierdos.
Bunch of men dress in dresses to entertain children....the states of Tennessee & Florida lose their fu*king minds.
I wish I could update this a million times. I love anime and cosplay but my people who get in fights over a match here make fun of me lol
Sports fanatics are tribal and will commit violence against each other because of who they cheer for. Case in point, a NASCRASH fan shot and murdered someone in 2002 for wearing a Jeff Gordon hat. [ https://www.heraldtimesonline.com/story/news/2002/05/21/man-guilty-in-shooting-over-ha/118373452/ ] Cosplayers will spend time admiring each others' work and taking photos together. I've never seen ANY hostility over costumes and fandom at any of the cosplay events I've attended. The only problem at those events was (unsurprisingly) cisgender heterosexual males attempting to assault women.
Don’t blame sports fanatics over a nascar murder… Blame redneck Americans
Load More Replies...Generalize this and it for so many things. Sitting for 8 hours watching TV? Fine. Playing a video game for a couple hours? WASTING YOUR LIFE AWAY. $120 for cable a month? How could you not? Buy a coffee when you're out? No wonder you can't afford a house.
And the people who say "I dont understand how kids can watch someone play a videogame instead of playing themselves" - and then they go turn on the TV to watch a game of football.
I watch to A. Learn how to play the game B. See if i want to play it C. Get ideas for my friends n i (competitions)
Load More Replies...I went to PAX in Melbourne last year. The costumes were amazing. So much dedication. They rocked.
The mentality towards victims of SA depending on their gender. You see a news story about a 15 year old male student and their female teacher, and half the comments are things like "lucky kid," "wish that were me," "why would he tell??" about a CHILD being abused by a person in power that they're supposed to be able to trust. It's disgusting and when the genders are reversed the mentality is completely different.
Agreed, it happens and it's unacceptable but also when reversed it's often - she's 16, she knew what she was doing.
I am rather done with the whole arbitrary magical 18th birthday thing. NOBODY goes from child to adult in a 24 hour period, just because a calendar says so.
Biology says that our brains are not fully developed until around age 25. Maturity differs from individual to individual, but adulthood should not be determined by the strike of midnight 18 years after your birth.
Load More Replies...Knew a guy once who'd been SA'ed by 3 women at the same time. He told me this while in tears and afterwards he told me he was so reliefed that I did not laugh at him. I was just shocked to learn that guys could be as broken as I was after a SA, so of course I didn't laugh at him. I felt for him. Poor dude. I really hope he is better now.
Here's something I've never thought about before. As a male in high school, I was sexually approached by two female faculty members. (I declined in both cases for reasons not relevant here.) I did not then and don't now have any feeling of being exploited or abused. I guess that this is another example of how the double standards protect men. If the sexual roles in high school had been reversed, I doubt I could have felt that way.
It's not easy for women with SA, or girls, I promise you. BUT, the stigma for males is worse. Note, however, that 97% of SA against males is by other males. Something people don't like to mention.
The "Disgusting" mentality would also be the same if it was a male teacher SA'ing a male student. But probably the same slap on the wrist punishment and men saying "I wish I could've seen that", if it was a female teacher/female student scenario
Yeah, fathers taking their sons to a prostitute to make him a “man”!
IMHO people are idiots at least up to age 23 (my experience, I am old), so frankly I think anyone who is doing grownup stuff before 23 is probably going to end up in serious trouble.
There is another perception. Throughout history, perhaps currently even, there have been cultures where it’s entirely normal that puberty leads to a member of the opposite who was much older (parents age) being appointed to teach the sexually aware youngster how to be adult in this part of their lives. There’s no trauma in this kind of thing. Because it’s normal - a young wild animal comes in season, the males fight and, chances are, the strongest, OLDEST male is most likely the mate. I’m not saying that our children need to be sexualized; just that so many of our taboos are cultural. If we didn’t culturally insist on blaming the victim, demonizing so many things that are culturally taboo. Incidentally, I’m a victim of child and adult abuse, but lucky enough to have puzzled out my non-blame for what happened to me. Except for not realizing it was happening in my first marriage.
it's true, but this does look like an essay excusing pedos, so don't be surprised if people attack you.
Load More Replies...If benefit is at the heart of it, consider utilitarianism. Utilitarianism is an ethical theory that focuses on the outcomes to determine if something is right or wrong. By proxy, that which brings the most benefit to the most people is the best thing to do. This is in part the reason why the lesser of two evils idea is sometimes the go-to tactic for some people.
“Be the bigger person” Always and without fail only **ever** applies to the person being wronged beyond all belief.
Yup. I have yet to see this being said to the person creating the drama. It's absolutely always applied to the innocent party to make them shut up!
Well, that's mostly because the person creating the drama isn't rational or mature enough to be the bigger person or, well, they wouldn't be creating the drama, and my psychiatrist says that often we are forced to do things that aren't strictly fair simply so we can move on with our lives, because continuing to argue to no avail isn't actually serving our lives or goals.
Load More Replies...Absolutely. Life is too short to be "the bigger person" time to be small and petty. Enjoy life.
Being the bigger person necessitates doing what's right - whether it's for yourself or others. There is no other definition.
Never forget and never forgive unless and until those in the wrong face consequences.
"Forgive your enemy. But remember the bastard's name." - John F. Kennedy
Load More Replies...When a man is assertive at work he is a boss, when a woman is assertive she is a b***h.
But anyone can be an basshole, especially if they say "I hear what you say (but I don't care)"..
Load More Replies...That's a tired old cliche. I've worked for men and women, and only the women who behave like a b***h are ever called a b***h. The men who behave like d***s are called d***s.
Witnessed the same...Worked in Finance, some of my top bosses (Senior Management, if not CEO) were women. They were damn assertive but highly respected by the 80% male workforce. And there would be that one massive douchebag, who is despised by everyone.
Load More Replies...I always considered any aggressive insensitive boss as being an a**h**e, no matter what their sex.
No, that man is a d**k. the 1950's called, they want their job back.
I've never felt that way. I have had women that know a good deal more than I do, and my first thought is always to learn. A woman will almost always want to mentor you, if you give her the chance.
I used to fully believe this. The deeper I've gotten into my career though I've discovered you need to find a balance in your behavior. I'm very collaborative and genuinely care about other people's opinions. However, in my field there are times where none of us get to have an opinion as we're bound by certain standards that we can't circumnavigate. I've had to assertivly shut people down a lot but I also explain why. I know I'm not considered a B around the office.
What is disheartening is to have a woman on a team that considers other women "unladylike" or a "b***h for not letting someone talk over them or not allowing someone to take credit for their work.
It’s OK for employers to see employees as replaceable but it’s not OK for employees to be constantly passively job hunting cause that means they have one foot out the door.
Also it's completely normal that a company sees employment as a business transaction (which is true), but if an employee sais they're there for the money they're seen as too materialistic and having not enough passion for the job.
A company knows that the salary range is for a position but can completely waste my time going through the application and interview process. But if I ask up front what the salary is I’m “only in it for the money”.
Load More Replies...And if you are in one of the caring professions, apparently it's a bad thing to want fair pay, because you have a vocation! Oh the arguments I've had about this one....
Yes, this. I teach, and I am often astounded at how many of my *colleagues* say things like "I would do this for free!" Please shut up, and do not give our employers any ideas.
Load More Replies...I think this might be cultural. I'm in the UK, and it's perfectly normal to be on the lookout for another job. If you find one that's better for you, employers often congratulate you.
Companies support "employment at will" laws. Well, what goes around comes around.
I love teaching kids (ESL in Asia) and I get paid a LOT more than most. But if they treat me like c**p and don't give me a raise, I'm on to my next school. It's a workers' market, I'm hard to replace, and I'm not wrong for taking advantage of it.
"At will" employment works both ways. They can fire you for any reason whatsoever. You can also leave, without notice. Amazing how many people forget about the latter. Of course, if you don't have another job lined up already, they kind of have you over a barrel, which makes it hard.
Yes, and why are so many employers not realizing they are the issue?
A job is a transaction, people sell their la our for money, that's it.
So, with that in mind, would a double standard be a bad thing if it brings more good than the next best option, which would be to have a single standard?
An example of this can be seen in college admissions practices. Educational institutions might give preference to people from underrepresented backgrounds to promote diversity.
Miley Cyrus licks a hammer nude: art, powerful, brave.
I lick a hammer naked: drunk, scarring, banned from the local Ace hardware.
Hard to tell. Guess we should all research for any arrests at local Ace hardware stores. 🤷♀️😉
Load More Replies...Not the first time I've seen this one, but it still makes me laugh 😆
This made me laugh. It's so true that celebrities' get away with SO much.
Miley is just being generous, giving many of us what we want.... and I for one am grateful to her for sharing. Thank-you Miss, (*tips hat!) ..... But YOU...no one wants to see YOUR hairy scary a*s!
‘Human rights violations committed by my civilization were due to the circumstances and norms of the time, whereas those committed by the rival civilization were due to its inherent evilness and inferiority.’
I was on a tour of Tulum and the guide - a true-blood native of the area - was explaining how the Spanish came in and totally wiped out the culture leaving almost nothing of what was there intact. It was truly a sad tale and I am by no means saying that was somehow alright, but he didn't even notice the irony when he told us the Spanish could do it so easily because the people of Tulum had wiped out all of their neighbors' cities, so had no one to help them against the invaders.
I recently saw a two frame editorial cartoon (about the UK's 19th century violent military occupation of China, the opium wars) with one word below each drawing. One showed a white UK military colonialist being beaten by a man in traditional Chinese clothes: "barbaric". The second showed the man in traditional Chinese clothes being beaten by the white UK military colonialist: "civilizing".
Is this a double standard? It seems perfectly consistent with "history is written by the victors".
Human rights violations committed by any civilization are due to our evolutionary success as the biggest bastards on he planet.
The worst part is, there are countries with valuable, rich and priceless culture, which are extinct or on the verge of extinction because of this all! These not big, and for different reasons not rich countries, they have real gems culturally. The way their society built is not carnivorous, and it makes them better, more suitable for the planet! I've been in Georgia last summer, population of the half of the country looks like the book heroes, uncorrupted and loving people.
Parents can send the most vitriolic, acidic emails to me and my fellow teachers but we are expected to respond both realistically *and* respectfully.
And that’s too bad because we need good teachers
Load More Replies...Parents are utterly unaccountable in the educational process and they know it. It’s disgusting what they get away with.
As a teacher, I found that politeness is often the best revenge. When people played stupid games, I awarded the stupid prizes. Educating is what I did for a living.
I remember recently somewhere in the UK that a teacher group WhatsApp was leaked and they got in serious trouble for it....like it wad a private conversation between the teachers. I don't agree with them calling the kids names but it was private and surely they are allowed to vent!!!
I knew quite a few people who were studying to be teachers, and at least half of them quit after the first year on the job because they just couldn't take the abuse any more.
My kids'teachers often don't respond, then I have to get the principal involved because they don't want to deal with me personally. I never ask for my kids to have anything other than fairness and equality. But teachers don't even want to talk to the good parents anymore. If course, I do live in Florida, I once read that we are 49th in the nation for best schools!
I wouldn’t respond, that’s what your principal is for, pass the email on to them. At least, that’s what I would do because I know my principal would have my back. (In Ontario, Canada)
Yes, there is definitely a double standard there that puts one student at an advantage over another all because of who they are. However, from the utilitarian standpoint, ultimately, it aims to achieve a more equitable outcome through example, increasing overall societal and cultural health by providing opportunities to those who might have been historically marginalized.
Many members of the LGBTQ community preaching openness and acceptance yet are incredibly biased towards one another within their own community.
willow_wind:
I've experienced so much of this. It's sickening. That's why I try to avoid LGBTQ+ spaces now, even though I'm bisexual. I just don't feel safe there.
I don't think that's true at all. I'm trying to think of a single group of people I look down on and I'm struggling. Lots of people I disagree with (MAGA). Lots of people I fear (again MAGA). but do I actually look down on them? I don't think so.
Load More Replies...I applied for an apartment that sounded great, in which the ad stated 'must be LBTGQ friendly (which I am, although I'm straight. I'm also 65 years old). The young lady who interviewed me thought I sounded like a great tenant, but she would have to check with her mother who owned the building. Fair enough. Then I get a refusal because Mum thought i was too old... the irony did not escape me.
I've had to defend being bi a lot. Thankfully this younger generation finally sees the existence of bi people and the older gays and lesbians are finally catching on too. The main reason they have a hard time believing is because almost all gays and lesbians (at least back in the day) came out as bi first. It really is/was a novel idea to them that bi people exist.
I won't lie, I was guilty of that a little bit. I actually do think that bisexuality might be more common than even heterosexuality base don the number of people who think that being gay is a choice. My theory is that those people are actually bi, but chose to be "straight" to fit in, and just think that everyone had the same "choice" they did
Load More Replies...Im gay and i avoid pointing it out whenever possible because i dont nee to put it in everyones face to be proud of myself. No offense ........... Im gonna edit because i realized reading comments i may have not explained well. My point is, how is me having a boyfriend any different then someone having a girlfriend or other? Or me identifying as male different then what you may identify as. What im trying to say as respectfully as i possibly can is. Im just a person and i dont really need a specific community to identify with. Im just myself and rather or not i understand how others feel i will respect you for your relationship preferences and personal identification without any need for referencing yourself as a specific society member. Im sorry does that make sense i really hope so im bad at explaining
What the hell does that have to do with lateral bigotry in queer communities?
Load More Replies...There was never true cohesion in the so called community. Gay men's interests have often been different than the wants and needs of lesbians. Trans folks (gender)have no real relationship with homosexuals (orientation). We have, at times, created loose coalitions to get certain things done, but there are huge differences in culture that some people just refuse to recognize.
An thats why I (a queer gender non-conforming individual) don't consider myself to be apart of the LGBTQ community. It is rampant with racism, misogyny, ableism and...intense wokeness and alot of cancel culture and keyboard samurai type people.
They are jerks in every group unfortunately. Some of the most "woke" people I know are incredibly bigoted towards people they consider less than them (non-woke folk). It's bitterly ironic. *edited spelling error
Load More Replies...Yes, I recall coming across this as long ago as the 1980s, when 'gay' people would quite commonly claim that you were either straight or gay, with no middle ground and that anyone claiming to be bi (let alone any of the more recent labels now commonly used) was just in denial.
Not even that. The Gs and the Ls had a horrible history of being abusive to the Ts
Load More Replies...for real I have had other queer people tell me I just haven't found the one and need to keep looking when I tell them I am AroAce
I am asexual and experienced something like that more or less (I don't consider myself queer at all). Went to this meeting organised by a LGBTQA association on asexuality. Ended up discussing with people presenting themselves as asexual because 'There can be two weeks where I don't want to have sex' and 'I only have sexual desire for people I truly connect with'. Never went again.
Load More Replies...I'm bisexual and have been told that some lesbians have issues with that; apparently you have to choose one sex or the other as it's seen as greedy?! I've also had boyfriends in the past that have actually asked if I'll sleep with women when they're not with me?! Honestly; no.1 I could do that if I was straight but I doubt they'd ask that and no. 2, how much free time so they think I have?! :P
Sexual harassment. I've been the victim of it, but I'm male. The reaction of "Eh, so what? get back to work." really pissed me off. If I'd grabbed some woman's butt, or made comments about how "good her a*s looked in those pants" in the workplace, I'd be bounced in a heartbeat.
To be honest, as a woman SA also gets excused and downplayed a lot and people try to shame me too for 'ruining' someone's career over a 'misunderstood compliment'.
Yup. Just look at the states for rape prosecutions. Men, YOU BUILT THIS SYSTEM. Don’t like it? Dismantle it.
Load More Replies...Truth. Harassment of men is still mostly invisible.
I agree that any harassment of any form should not be tolerated but I would argue against the idea that something would have been done about it if a woman was the victim. I've witnessed multiple instances where harassment just gets blamed on the victim or brushed under the carpet. I have never seen it be dealt with appropriately and as a woman working in tech I've seen it happen alot.
My kid is into this show Bunk'd. The early seasons are incredibly stereotyped. But what bugs me the most is this running gag of a female sexually harassing a male on the show over and over. This is supposed to be funny. It's disgusting. And then there are a couple of other side stories where a woman becomes obsessed with a man and basically stalks him. Not funny folks. I try to explain to him why this is not OK for either sex, but IDK if he gets it.
I was once in a car with my female boss (I'm female too) while a male colleague sat in the back and she starts talking to me about the male stripper at her daughter's hen's night and like making fun of his body and genitalia and I'm just sitting there like in awkward silence not knowing what to say because imagine if we had been two males sitting in the front talking about a female stripper's body while a female colleague sat in the back, it's not cool.
How well did your boss know the male colleague? If they knew each other well then they might have both been ok with it (contrary to what the PC world seems to think men and women can joke about genitals without it being harassment). On the other hand if it made *you* feel awkward then it would count as harassment towards you.
Load More Replies...It is JUST as wrong, agreed. However, it is not so easy for women as many people like to think.
Management enforcing rules they break all the time.
I worked for a company that had a rule against hiring family members of employees. But all the managers had family members working there.
Another double standard that you might consider not a bad idea is the idea of the different standards applicable to adults and children in terms of responsibility.
After all, the maturity and understanding of the world that adults possess mean that they are expected to take on more responsibility and face full consequences for their actions. Children, on the other hand, get more lenient treatment and are provided guidance in the same situations.
When people have an extensive list of things a potential partner must be and must provide, but they give nothing.
Your ideal partner won't be picking you if you have nothing to give.
Erm, that's both a one on one ratio where things would be equally distributed and thus oksy. What are you trying to say? Do you mean it's not 100/0 it's 50/50?
Load More Replies...I talk to my 4 sons about this all the time. Wait. Make sure. Watch how they treat people etc.
I think you guys probably missed the point here. The post is talking about losers that have extensive wants but unable to provide anything themselves. It has nothing to do with those who achieved something in their lives and want a somewhat equal partnership
To be fair, they can't know what a future partner might want or require. So they can't make promises.
Dating is not shopping at the market. Your specific requirements will make you a lonely person.
Hypocrisy and selfishness in dating is never ending. I've lost count of butthead smokers who actively seek out non-smokers, saying, "I don't want to breathe someone else's cigarette smoke!" I don't want to breathe yours either, you pinhead, that's why I don't smoke. And Childfree people CONSTANTLY have to deal with liars and the selfish. We openly say "Don't have kids, don't want any kids, don't want yours either" in our dating profiles, and yet breeders keep 'thinking' they are exempt, or that they can "change our minds" (either into breeding or into accepting the kids they already have). No, all they are doing is wasting people's time. Be honest about the situation, save everyone the time and the trouble.
I don't quite know how to word this type of double standard, but I can give an example. We all know how Janet Jackson had a "costume malfunction". A very polite way of saying Justin Timberlake accidentally ripped her top off exposing her breast. Her career took a nose dive, even though at worst many MANY were at fault. She was mocked and berated, and her career took a nose dive. Justin Timberlake suffered very little repercussions from this. To be clear, I don't think anyone should have been ostracized. But definitely not just Janet.
Translation: women are shamed and punished for not being the keepers of sex/uality whereas men are rewarded for it.
Male nipples are fine, female nipples are evil incarnate. A man can run around shirtless in public, women get shamed if they're feeding their babies! Not even thinking of colder weather and their nipples show through their clothes! And even the left activists join in. A trans woman can wear the most revealing clothes she wants, even sitting in professional settings in sheer, revealing clothes that are not far from lingerie and she's seen as only expressing herself and celebrating 'womanhood' but the same people who praise her would look down on a woman who dressed up the same or wear similar makeup.
I don't care what they say. That s**t was 100% planned, Her outfit was literally designed to do that, and you can see he grabs for the seam and rips it off of her. That s**t was intentional.
And she was the only one to pay big for it. If intentional, lots of people in control were involved in the decision making. If one is ostracized, then all should be (I'm talking both performers, the director, and the like, not the tailor who made the costume or set hands, etc.) If unintentional, then no one ostracized, but a look into how it happened and how to avoid in the future.
Load More Replies...That an american thing. If that happened in europe , it would have been forgotten the next day
In Europe we wouldn't lay awake because of a nipple, but there's still a double standard in expressing sexuality. If a man sleeps with many woman he's deemed 'cool', if a woman does it she's deemed a s**t.
Load More Replies...Her costume was not accidentally ripped off. It was pre planned and obvious by her reaction. With what said I agree that the reaction towards her was ridiculous
Men expose their nipples all the time - no shame. Women must hide them, even though a woman's nipples actually serve a purpose!!
I don't really know the details - was her career already on the way down, was it her reaction after the event that came back on her? Anyway, I don;t really see this a a double standard - if JT had had his w***y waving around would he have been treated much differently?
What does any of that matter?? There was no accident about it, -he- tore her top.
Load More Replies...He SHOULD have been ostracized because he didn't apologize (at least not for the following 15 years) and he threw her under the bus on multiple occasions, like she was at fault and her embarrassment rubbed off on him. He's a horrible person and should have been treated as the offender
People who only like facts and statistics when it reinforces what they want to hear.
Confirmation bias is a real thing, even among scientists. I've read "scientific articles" where conflicting data was explained away or even thrown away as extraneous.
This gets worse when you also consider self serving bias, hindsight bias and survivor bias, two more things even experts are not immune to
Load More Replies..."There are three kinds of lies: lies, d*nm lies and statistics." -Harry S. Truman
Statistics, incorrectly applied, can lead to ridiculous conclusions. One example I used when I taught statistics was a hypothetical lumber camp with 50 men who spent the day in the bush felling trees and 2 women who did the cooking and camp maintenance. A man and woman fell in love and got married. That night, 2% of the men had sex with 50% of the women.
"There are three kinds of lies: lies, damn lies, and statistics." - Unknown (incorrectly attributed to either Mark Twain or Benjamin Disraeli)
True, the source is unknown. Besides, 38% of the statistics on the Internet are made up.
Load More Replies...The same people that use internet information from just one random source will be the same ones telling you not to believe anything you read on the internet that they don't agree with, even if it comes more than one reputable source ...
No, but this is true. 90% of people that quote statistics make them up, but 45% of statistics have inherent bias. Although, 72% of those biases are imagined and not real.
In turn, such a double standard allows for appropriate support and paces expectations based on children’s aptitude and understanding. It’s what essentially allows us to foster the right kind of environment for kids to effectively learn the ropes of life, building character, and teaching them things like accountability.
I'm in the US and I'm a white guy. I have a friend who immigrated here from China. She is rich and lives on a beachfront property in California. She claims to be extremely oppressed over her race while living a better life than anyone I've ever met. She calls everyone racist while also making the most racist statements I've ever heard about other minority groups. She recently stopped talking to me because I'm half Jewish and she's decided that Jews are Nazis because of the conflict in the middle east. I'm a progressive and she always called me racist and conservative. When I met her boyfriend, he said "I heard about you, you're the MAGA guy, right?". Where did she get this impression from? Because I said I wouldn't want to date an activist. She said she hopes my house gets burned down by BLM rioters so I know what it feels like to be oppressed. Meanwhile, when Covid hit and there were racial tensions between Black and Asian people in San Francisco, she said some of the most racist things I've ever heard anyone say. She represents a certain subgroup of this leftist movement who will consider you their enemy if you don't agree with 100% of their beliefs 100% of the time. That's the biggest double standard I've seen. And they're not too hard to find in big progressive cities.
Jews are NAZIS????? Not only is she racist, she's an idiot!
I've met that person. Not THAT person in the post but the morally superior, secretly bigoted with a heavy coating of progressiveness on the outside who grants the leftist badges. Ironically, she was living in a remarkably upper class neighbourhood in an apartment that didn't match her discourse.
Wow, congrats, "Jews are Nazis" is the new dumbest thing I have ever read.
It's at the same level as the Holocaust deniers, smfh.
Load More Replies...I had a boss who happened to be female and she was terrible, condescending, and abrasive. She was truly a horrible person. She got into arguments with other colleagues frequently. But whenever it was with a man, her takeaway was “I don’t think he likes working with women’” or “I don’t think he likes strong women”. I wanted to tell her that her gender had nothing to do with her being an absolute nightmare to work with.
As a general rule Chinese folks are some of the most racist. Not trying to be a tool, just offering my experience and the opinions of several Chinese people I know.
When people were wild and then turn religious and hate on people that they were just like before religion.
A feel that a certain amount of this is guilt and self-loathing. It's not that they hate those people, just that they hate what they were when they used to do those things. But, again, if you're looking for logic in religion, you might be looking in the wrong place.
You can also explain it this way, they've realised just how destructive and dangerous to other people they were when they were like that. So they're determined to make sure other people aren't destructive and dangerous too. eg: a reformed drunk understands how badly their drinking hurt other people so wants to ensure other drunks don't hurt their kids/family/friends. At least that's the non-hypocritical ones. I'm sure there are also hypocritical reformers who don't even realise the damage they did.
Load More Replies...Finding God does not allow hate for one another. Hate the sin, but not the person.
Extreme behavior is extreme behavior no matter the form it takes
What about people that were super square as religious adherents and then go wild and look down on all of the tools still in the lie machine of religion?
Still bad. Looking down on people in general is bad because you could so easily be in that situation
Load More Replies...Y'all know about half of your religion stems from a royal divorce, right.
How if someone starts s**t with you, you’re going to be to one yapped at for standing up for yourself, not the person who started things. School, work, elsewhere. This always happens.
Unless you are willing to be the biggest scene throwing over dramatic toddler you can’t win, if you have any maturity, dignity, self control, you will be the one vilified because look at how upset you made them.
Even though it’s not like you were holding a gun to their head and ordering them to throw that fit. Except for instances of such coercion tactics, no one actually “makes” anyone else react in any way. We all choose our OWN reactions, whether we act on a kneejerk reaction or take a moment to think about it. How we act is no one else’s fault but our OWN.
Load More Replies...Bullies and pot-stirrers (psycho and sociopaths) are masters of subterfuge; they know how to get away with being aśsholes and then draw attention to things when you retaliate.
I was bullied in an office situation for a number of years. Management made me the scapegoat and the bully was allowed to continue her behaviour. The employer had made up their minds, and wouldn't listen to evidence. She's still there, I left a long time ago. Better for my mental health, but it's not fair that the bully gets no repercussions.
Load More Replies...I don't think anyone has a problem with a person legitimately defending themselves from violence. I think that some people just have a different definition of "starting s**t", and may feel that a violent response isn't warranted, no matter how mean the "starting s**t" diss was.
If someone tries to bully me, IDC, I'M STANDING MY GROUND! Go ahead, try to take my lunch money! You're not going to take it from me without a fight!
Just watch the NFL for 10 minutes. It’s always the second guy that gets the flag
Didn't he rape someone and pushed another down stairs not being rude just asking
Load More Replies...Heck, even the idea of hypocrisy could be justified in pretty much the same utilitarian way. For example, a doctor might consider telling a patient that they ought to lose some weight for their health, while being overweight themselves. The patient might not take the doc’s words seriously, but the doc’s ultimate goal is for the patient to be healthy, and their own bodily state has nothing to do with it.
Men can sleep around, and they are praised. Women do it. They are called 304s and shamed. When women cry and express their feelings, it's wonderful and healthy. When men do it, they need to "quit being so sensitive and be a man." Like men have feelings/emotions. Let them express those feelings before it comes out as anger or they k¡ll themselves. When a woman gets angry, it is because she is emotional or irrational. If a man gets angry, it is because he knows what he wants and gets it. Women who want to snuggle are affectionate. Men who want to snuggle are needy. Men can easily get a vasectomy but if a woman wants to get her tubes tied she has to jump through hoops. The pink tax. Men who are victims of rape, sexual harassment, and/or assault are less likely to be taken seriously. The legal system, in general, gives women fewer harsh sentences than men who committed the same crime.
If you type it on a calculator upsidedown, it spells hoe, like 5318008. So clever /s.
Load More Replies...Teenage males, maybe even into their early 20's...so ya know, children are the ones "celebrating" the man sluts....and only in very small numbers, and most of that is due to the overbearing expectation that that's just what men do. They're not supposed to want a relationship, show or crave affection...and women very much perpetuate this by constantly trying to sell the story that men who sleep around are celebrated. The vast majority of men, don't do that, nor do they want to....but now women have become the very thing they've railed against for....ever. But no one is supposed to comment on it because of how long the belief that the 1 in 100 guy who slept around was somehow representative of the majority.
As a woman, us crying is not considered “wonderful”. We just stopped caring about men who look down on us for it. You are free to do that at any time.
You know it's much more socially acceptable for women to cry than it is for men.
Load More Replies...The legal system in the Southeastern portion of the USA is still VERY misogynistic, racist, biased, age-ist, sadistic ... when it comes to a woman committing a crime. Women, in particular in the state of Georgia, the Southest in general, receive double or triple the amount of time a man receives in sentencing when it comes to time served. See Prison Policy Initiative and/or The Southern Center for Human Rights for further information.
I think part of it was this. Women were expected to be more sexually responsible because everyone knew they were going to get stuck with the kid. One double standard reinforcing another.
So you sex shame? That's not the solution. Why not let consenting adults who are in control of their bodies have some fun without judgment?
Load More Replies...How it's okay for parents to take time off when their kids are sick but frowned upon for anyone else to take time off when they themselves are sick. Especially if it's their mental health that's the problem.
My school board encourages us to take a sick day when we need one for whatever reason, including mental health days (obviously without going over the allotted number of sick days unless there is a serious underlying health concern, it’s all about checks and balances.)
Load More Replies...I saw a post on here a few days ago where a mom gave her kid a mental health day each month (?) of their choosing as long as it wasn't a test day. Wish I would have had that back in the day.
Easiest way to help eliminate the stigma on mental illness is to stop referring to it as mental health. Mental illness IS illness!
It's not ok for parents (and let's be real, usually moms) to take time off to take care of sick kids. The difference is, it's still -expected-. Mothers get "mommy-tracked" in their jobs (passed over for promotions/raises/more responsibility) so that they have the time to take if their kid calls. But their careers definitely suffer in a long-term way because of it.
I hate how a specific body type becomes trendy every few years.
I'm not holding my breath though. Ah well, I will just have to be content with being fabulous without being fashionable
Load More Replies...What I read on BP: Remember, your body insecurities were created in a boardroom.
The only body trend I like is reasonably fit and healthy. No waif supermodels, no super-pumped bodybuilder types, no super obese is "curvy" types. Just normal, average bodies. And just to be clear, if you want a body that's a different type, that's fine - you do you. I just don't want to be bombarded with ads featuring bodies that are either unhealthy or basically impossible to attain without plastic surgery, steroids, starvation or 60 hours of exercise a week.
Yeah but this is women doing it to each other. As I've gotten older I have realized that men have body types they love for life. I'm 100% going to show this picture to my partner when he wakes up. Total a** man since he started crawling. Add some cellulite to that flesh and he'll love it just as much.
So, what are your thoughts on double standards? Got some notable examples that need to not be a thing? Share your thoughts in the comment section below!
Afterwards, you can go check out another one of our articles on double standards people are tired of.
Fat shaming = wrong. Skinny shaming = totally fine.
A lot of people just don't realize they're doing it. Talking more about it helps.
"You should eat a sandwhich" Mother f****r I ate a sandwhich, I'm always eating sandwhichs I literally never stop f*****g eating and I'm still just bones. STFU
Exactly! I am told that all the time. I eat! I’m bony. There are reasons. But people feel they can always comment on my weight because I’m thin. I have given up pointing out the hypocrisy.
Load More Replies...This always bugged me in the song "All About That Bass". I mean, "I'm bringing booty back Go ahead and tell them skinny bitches that", "boys like a little more booty" and calling girls "stick-figure"... Whats the differance between singing about how boys like big booty or if the song was about big boobs?
I don't think hiphop is the goto place for social commentary though :P
Load More Replies...Skinny and been told I have looked 12 since I was 21. In my country skinny people are frowned upon but then they turn around and ask for tips. There are no tips, you are who you are and that's okay.
Nope. It's everybody shaming. You have a problem or an opinion? Someone is going to shame you for it. If you're looking for support or accolades, you need to realize that as soon as you walk out the door, post that pic or post, or get published in any way, shape, or form, that a target has been painted on your person.
The whole men can have "a fear of commitment" but if a woman behaves the exact same way she's either a "s**t" or a "tease." Women can have a fear of intimacy and commitment too!
This implies that it's fine for men to have a fear of commitment. As a guy I find a man who's unable to commit himself weak and spineless.
That's pretty brutal. How do you know what they've been through in the past? Maybe their last three girlfriends were all horrible. Maybe they came from a dsyfunctional family and they're worried they're gonna propagate that dysfunction into the future. There are valid reasons beyond whatever you're thinking that makes them "weak and spineless".
Load More Replies...I don't know many lesbians who seem afraid of a commitment. So maybe it isn't the commitment that women are afraid of.
Can't take no for an answer ... boys will be boys ... says no ... she's playing hard to get ... bonus: says no ... he's gay ...
I bet there are many men that say they don’t have fear of commitment, but take too long to propose to their long time girl friend.
I am a woman, and my fear of commitment comes from fear of being rejected. It's crippling.
I'm not sure this one is a double standard though...men are not praised for having a fear of commitment
The way people treat sons vs. how they treat daughters.
At least in my experience.
It doesn't have to be that way though. Before our kids were born, my wife and I decided to ignore stereotypes. My parents did! If our son wanted to play with Barbie dolls or wear pink, we were totally okay. Had two of the most boyish boys who ever boyed. Don't know where they go it from.
Because we are not raising our children own a vacuum. They see TV, they see online content, they share picture books with you, they go down the aisles of shops, they mix with children at playgroup, school and clubs, and get spoken to by other adults. I could go on and on. The benefits of leaving your children to be free to be their true selves and not buying into the stereotypes are often quite long term.
Load More Replies...When my son was little he wanted a barbie doll so he could with the neighbor girls. My wife was firm, she would never let a daughter play with Barbie, so her son couldn't either.
My youngest boy received a toy hoover, washing machine and dishwasher for his 3rd birthday and my husband wasn't pleased. When I asked what his problem was he told me that he wasn't happy with the "girls" toys our youngest had been given. So I pointed out that in our house my husband was the one who got excited about getting a new hoover time and time again and would spend hours researching the newest models and all of the "bells and whistles" each one had, he was the person loading the dishwasher "just so" every day. And did he really want his sons looking as daft as he did at the age of 27 having to explain to his future wife that actually he really thought dirty clothes magically left the floor and returned to his wardrobe clean,fresh and ironed?? We both had so much to unlearn but I'm grateful every day that he is someone completely open and determined not to repeat blindly how he was raised and who is patient and kind when helping me understand things I get wrong x
My youngest nephew wanted a toy kitchen when he was little and my BIL was worried about getting him girl toys. My BIL was a chef, so we laughed at him a lot. Hard to find one which wasn't pink, kid didn't like pink. His older brother liked more traditional boy toys, but he wanted them in pink - also hard to find.
Load More Replies...I love my parents for doing exactly opposite of this. My sister and I both were taught to cook, sew, and care for the home, as well as be able to drive a stick shift, change a tire, and do the basic maintenance for the car and other common tools. Love and miss you Mom and Dad.
People who have daughters who are smart as a whip, talented, very kind, thoughtful, loving, and extremely capable and fearless, and a son who is a totally selfish, ungrateful, and nasty idiot and waste of oxygen—-but they favor the son and ignore the daughter! I have Lived this myself and seen this way too many times in my life to not be concerned for those poor girls. Their brothers are given every advantage their parents can give them, and waste it every damned time, and the girls get nothing. Pisses me off. I hold this against my parents, and don’t begrudge my brothers anything, because they were always there for me when I needed them, but if I had been given half the help my parents gave my brothers, the sky’s the limit for what I could’ve been able to accomplish. Out of all five of us kids, I was the only A student who was college material, but my parents never intended to send me to college. I had to move out and do it on my own (I now have a Masters Degree). The only benefit of that is my parents could never take any credit for my degrees, since they didn’t contribute one thin dime to it.
When your brothers get little carpenter tool boxes to make anything they want and you get an embroidery kit with instructions.
When ever my cousin posts about her daughter it's always how pretty she is, but the boy? Isn't he talented.
How about you always add a comment about how smart and talented the daughter won those posts?
Load More Replies...Usually not taught the same stuff. There are many circumstances where more women will likely not know how to respond, or even if they need to, because it wasn't taught.
My ex would blow through my money, but when his mom would send him b-day or Christmas money, that was "his" money. He was unemployed for years. The second he got a job, that was his money.
One of those 'What's mine is mine, and what's yours is mine' things. Glad to hear he's an ex.
You could have always asked yourself "The door? Now where did I last see that?"
To be fair, that was the stay-at-home mother's motto when I was a child ... "what's mine is mine and what's his is mine" ... the only time I ever saw it the other way around was between pimps and hoes ...
But that’s because a stay at home mom probably didn’t get a lot of money to do with as she pleased, and she did have a job, she just didn’t get paid for being a stay at home mom!
Load More Replies...My biggest pet peeve with people is when they try to bully you/be disrespectful and when you match the energy you get called an a*****e.
But of course. And then I say a little prayer for Karma to 💩 on them.
When I was in Grade 3 or 4, the class was making holiday decorations, and this A-hole kid frightened me with his scary deer mask. I let out quite a shriek. But who was sent to stand out in the hall? Not the creep.
Story time: today I was skiing and we were sitting with this lady on the chairlift and she says bar coming down, my mom says hold on I have to slide over a little. She waits like 5 seconds and then puts it down again. And my moms like give me a few fire seconds because I have a cracked rib. The lady gets mad at her and calls her an a*****e and a b***h. My mom’s like calm dawn. So she says sorry AND SLAPS MY MOM IN THR LEG WITH A MITTEN. My mm says nothing. The lady then says she should apologize to when my mom didn’t do anything. At this point I was really glad I was sitting in the middle bc if I wasn’t my mom probably would have punched her. We sat in silence for the rest of the ride.
Ha ha, just had an occasion with a woman neighbor 2 houses down. I know now she is a bully, that usual gets her way. She (and her dutiful husband) still do not understand that bullying me or my wife does not worl. They tried some really "funny" things. In the end, police came visiting and after hearing our version, said "Look, just ignore these people". 🤣
I’m experiencing this right now. I’m being harassed by another tenant in my building and I take the abuse and I take it and I take it. And the one time I respond back, I get written up and I’m told I’m part of the problem too, even though I spend 70% my time hiding in my apartment. It’s just incredibly frustrating.
I just reminded them that I'm upholding my end of their golden rule. You've done unto me, so I'm doing as you would have me do in return
Several of my gfs over the years have exhibited this trait and it drives me bonkers. They preach that relationships are all about "communication" ... but when they're mad they refuse to say what they're mad about!! WTF?!?!?!?!
If you're looking for logic in emotional relationships, you're looking in the wrong place. When feelings are involved, logic tends to go out the window. In truth, a good relationship IS built on clear communication (among other things), but sometimes when people are upset, they no talk so good. As well, when people are angry or emotional, we may realize that what we WANT to say may be something we'll regret later.
I guarantee they said what they were upset about multiple times, and this dude just wasn't paying attention.
I liked the comment about the first woman being sent to the Moon..."Houston, we have a problem!" "What is the nature of the problem?" "You know perfectly well what the problem is!"
Try having the same conversation with a man over and over... Yet, you're the one doing all the work and compromising, and nothing changes on their part. Yet ,they want to have the same old conversation. Sometimes, no matter how much communication goes on, nothing improves.
In a healthy relationship, remember, it should be you and your partner vs the problem. not you vs them.
The whole "we need to talk about this now" and "I don't want to talk about this now" will be an everloving struggle until the human race dies out ...
When I am angry, I usually tell to those around that if they do not want to receive an explosion, then don't ask, but later I will explain. Usually immediately, as I say these words, my brain swithes into "rationally describing" mode, and in 20-30 minutes, I am able to put my feelings into neutral words. Works for me. (Also, it is good, that the other party ususally accepts these terms.)
So you've had this problem with several different women. I see. Has it ever occured to you that the one thing those cases have in common is you?
Men can't be victims of domestic violence and only women can be victimized.
My wife was arrested twice for domestic battery against me, but was never charged.
I have a friend who now has brain damage from surviving domestic abuse from his ex wife and daughter. They used to beat him regularly and it left him with lasting damage unfortunately. Domestic violence against men does exist and it should be talked about more.
When it comes to domestic violence numbers, 23% of DV is women assaulted by men, while 19.3% is men assaulted by women....not the massive chasm many seem to assume, and the point is that no one gives a damn about those 19.3%....because many don't even believe it happens. So good job on being part of the problem.
Load More Replies...As a woman, you are expected to look youthful in regular life. But at work, if you are youthful looking, you are taken less seriously.
Yes, this happened to me in nursing. Had to be over 40 to be taken seriously.
My daughter in law is an award winning nurse, I think in oncology. She is very definitely respected as such. She’s about 35. And she makes enough money (son’s a stay at home dad,), they recently bought a house outside LA.
Load More Replies...Similar situation for men. I got a masters degree in electrical and mechanical engineering at 22, started at a big engineering company doing the same work as everyone else to the same or higher standard, but taken a lot more seriously past the age of about 32 (37 now). I see it in younger guys too, they are just as competent as anyone else but because they're not listened to in the same way you can see the hesitation to contribute
I think the difference is in the expectation that you try to "look youthful in regular life" part. Sure young people aren't taken as seriously at work, understandably so (less experience in the real world). But men aren't expected to try to make themselves look 20 when they're 27 and going to a bar.
Load More Replies...So true. I didn't mind when my gray hair started coming in bc it gives me much more credibility at the office.
I have known a number of people in middle management who added a little grey at the temples and dressed conservatively to look older.
Load More Replies...This happens to me so much. I'm twelve, but I'm pretty short and kind of flabby. Most adults always tell me that I'm a very pretty girl and take me seriously enough (not always) but people my age think that I'm the equivalent of an eight-year-old. It's the worst.
It’s weird for me, a male to like kids.
When I was a kid, we kids were told not to talk to strangers (we did anyway, but we were TOLD not to). So in public, with kids I don't know, I don't look at them, don't try to talk with them. I ignore them. People don't know me, don't know if I'm a danger or not. I can easily ignore children and still like them. BUT ... whenever I see a child who needs help, I'm there.
This has to be an American thing. Thank God many men are fully involved in their kids' lives here in Germany. It is completely normal for men to work in nurseries, take the year of parental leave, etc., and I think it's wonderful. Our daughter was super responsive to her male nursery worker and I am eternally grateful to him for helping to boost her confidence and bring her out of her shell. He just did a fantastic job. I'm hoping my little boy gets put in his group at the end of this year, too. My wee boy is nuts about cars, trains and so on, and I know the nursery worker is too. But he was more than happy to fold up his tall, skinny frame on a child's chair and happily play tea parties with the class too. What we need are good, confident leaders who take an interest in the kid's interests and treat them respectfully, regardless of gender.
As a male, you just can not. I can actually not even be friendly with children because it makes me look like some old creep harrasing children. God forbid you give something small to them! Small children do not understand why i am distant, they think i am just unfriendly. And i have to be, if there is ever the slightest friendliness towards a child it will earn me a reputation wich i can never overcome. Kinda sad, but true.
My brother is great with kids and ran soccer camps when he was a teenager. But when he got married (before he had kids of his own), he said he couldn't sign up to be a soccer coach because people got suspicious like, "why are you - a grown man without kids - interested in coaching soccer?"
Load More Replies...I'm a 70(m) and I have to be careful when I smile at young kids in stores, especially like a 2yo sitting in a cart. I like to see if I can make them smile or laugh (like I do my own grandkids). I keep half an eye on the parent to make sure they don't think I'm getting weird with their kid.
My brother is not only a good dad, he's an amazing mother. My mother can't speak highly enough about him. But if a bloke with a fully functioning wife is too hands on with the children, she finds it weird. I don't understand. But she's nearly 90, and children were/are her life.
Where I live, men being friendly with kids is also frowned upon (except old people). But we have been a couple of times to Italy with our toddler son, and it is a breathe of fresh air that men there are not ashamed to be super friendly or even touchy with him. Like touching his hair, or picking him up etc. All because it is more normal and socially accepted. At least it seems to be, for me as a visitor.
This was a bit problematic because being the cool dad, I felt that there was always going to be somebody that would have a problem with me having children around me that weren't mine (many would be friends of my own children) ... I stopped feeling that way when two sisters that were friends with my daughter were allowed to sleep over ... their parents were a lesbian couple and I thought, for sure they were going to say no ... next thing you know, significant other, oldest daughter, youngest daughter, visiting sisters, son and myself in the living room watching "Bolt" ... never had a complex ever since ...
I love kids, but I will not even talk to little girls unless I know their parents for years. it's just not worth the risk.
I hate double standards when it comes to gender roles and expectations.
squid_ward_16:
I live in a predominantly Mormon community and I’m male and my dad is building the house and people always ask me if I’ve been helping my dad, but never to my sister and she helps out more and when she says that, they’re like “oh ok”. I always feel intimidated because they probably think it’s a man’s job to do that so they wanna make sure I’m doing manly duties
When I was earning my pilot’s license, both men and women would ask, “What does your husband think about that?” But no one EVER asked a man what his wife thought about his getting a pilot’s license.
I would have responded, "my wife is extremely proud of me." then watch their brains reboot.
Load More Replies...Gender discrimination in the mormon church and community was a major factor that ultimately led to me leaving that life and losing most of my social ties right after I graduated from high school.
In my old place, my significant other ironed my clothes for work ... when it came time to explain what I did, I told them I gathered and washed the clothes, sorted, folded and organized them where they needed to be ... mine, hers, and our children's ...
Men expected to always pay on dates and outings with a potential mate. Huge double standard. I like to “take turns” and keep it 50/50.
I think there are more women who might be okay with that than many people might imagine.
I am not gonna let a dude pay for a meal and have him think he bought "me". I don't want to wonder if I ordered something too expensive either. So I pay.
Load More Replies...Hubby and I paid our own bills while dating. We both felt more comfortable with the arrangement. Now we have joint accounts, so it's whoever has the cash or card out first.
Well yeah. I'm always a little suspicious of couples who have separate finances...
Load More Replies...I always “went Dutch” and drove myself, so no one could say I owed them anything. This was back in the late seventies and throughout the eighties, so the dating advice I’m reading today is the exact same stuff I did almost fifty years ago, out of a concern for keeping safe while living on my own. Common sense never goes out of style.
I alwasy have, because I never wanted to feel obligated, to either friends or potential partners.
I did the dutch thing too. That way I didn’t owe the man anything at all.
Load More Replies...I think when relationships first start, if not discussed beforehand, the one who asks for the date is the expected payer (but always bring enough to cover yourself, just in case). Once it's established they are a couple, they can discuss it amongst themselves. But established couples should be 50/50 if they make close to the same money or can at least each afford to do so.
#depends on the date, but yeah, if you _invite_ someone to an event or a fancy restaurant it may be reasonable that they expect you to pay, but if you just say "shall we have dinner together? Where shall we meet?" then I don't think there's the same onus.
Load More Replies...Is this real? Still? Last time I was dating was around 30 years ago (been married to her since then) but I recall there were some things I would pay for, sure, but i was earning three or four times what she was (later on while I was still earning around the same she had overtaken me), so it seemed only fair, and I certainly don't think it was ever expected.
My partner and split the bills and always did when dating. I make slightly more money than he does. What bothers me is when the check comes, it is placed in front of my male partner when I am paying.
This is such a touchy subject because on one hand, I am more than willing to take you to Applebees, have you order whatever you want and I'm tricking ... however, if you complain about it being Applebees, then tricking levels will drop ... on the other hand, if I really want to impress you, I'm cooking ... however, if you complain that you would have preferred to eat at a restaurant, somebody else is will be enjoying my cooking ...
I can't stand it when people judge others for actions that they themselves commit, without criticism.
Women expecting to be showered in compliments constantly while they never give any to the men they are with. It is a really s***ty double standard, especially when most men really appreciate compliments just as much as women do.
I compliment and uphold my husband all the time. He has low self-esteem. He's a good man and I pray one day he truly understands that I mean every word. No, he doesn't compliment me, but he is loyal, caring, generous and kind. I learned to change my love language to fit the dynamic. I don't think his family put value on compliments. Knowing this, I understand that he just doesn't have confidence in himself to verbally encourage others. He's found ways to compensate. A very good man.
Love that you adjusted your love language, it's so hard to do. My partner is great with mine but I struggle with his because of past trauma. We talk through it a lot though and are finally getting to a spot that works for both of us.
Load More Replies...I've actually heard men appreciate compliments more than women because they recieve them so much less often.
THIS!!! Most people don't realise most women(tbf not all women) will get more compliments in a week than most men (not all men) will get in their adult lifetimes!
Load More Replies...I make sure to compliment my male partner every day (looks, character, just what I notice on that day) because I know men get less compliments.
I complement man constantly. I compliment ladies constantly. I love complimenting people, all people. Especially if the look down!
Assuming that we are talking about compliments about looks ? As a woman I loved getting compliments about my work, would not hesitate to compliment a man about his work performance; I do NOT like the incessant "you look nice, you are so pretty " stream of compliments I would get, it is annoying and often (from men) I would wonder what their motivation was. For that same reason I would hesitate to compliment a man on his looks; I would not want him to perceive it as a come-on.
I have always complimented both male and female friends, and the odd stranger, on how great they look. I’ve never really cared whether people think I’m weird or not.
One of Toby Keith's biggest song was "What about me". His record label gave him a fit over that song. It's one of the truest relationship songs every.
In the same vein, it would be when a person feels threatened by a compliment from somebody they do not find attractive, but feel safe when it comes from somebody they do find attractive ...
The eldest child can't get away with anything, but the younger brothers and sisters can come and go as they please.
As the oldest, I can say this is true. I guess it can differ per family.
Load More Replies...Middle awkward child here. Leave older sibling alone - they need their space. Look after younger sibling - you are responsible for them. 🤷♀️🤷♀️🤷♀️
My sister was the older and she was always the favorite. She got away with Far more than I ever could have.
While many parents do ease up with younger children, it not necessarily a double standard, but rather they learned from the mistakes they made with the older one. It also depends on the parents and parenting styles. Of 5 kids, the eldest was treated strictly followed by me getting away with murder only because I was the favorite of my stepdad (I also didn't try to get away with stuff or rebelled). Then with our 3 younger siblings by brother got away with stuff just because he was a boy, while the 2 youngest girls were treated strict again.
I'm not sure this is always a double standard, this is experience and learning how to parent and not sweat the small stuff. When you're told you can't do something your brothers can because 'you're a girl', I'm thinking double standard.
I was the oldest. Couldn't visits my fiance's out of state family on overnight trip (I was 18 and couldn't live independently from my parents yet).My brother knocks a girl up and is still given the world.
As the oldest, I can confirm this is false. I got away with everything, my younger brothers we’re not smart enough to get away with anything. Lol.
Women who vigorously enforce traditional gender roles for men while bucking traditional gender roles for women.
Or men denouncing 'feminism as a modern evil' and vigorously enforcing traditional gender roles at home but the wife has to work full-time as well.
My ex stayed home with our son when he was little. You would not believe how many sexist women would give us s**t about a man staying home with their own child. Never once did a man say anything negative. It was always a woman. They would give stink eye or tell me he needed to be out making more money. Wtf? They wouldn't say that to a woman staying home.
Here in the US when I turned 18 I had to sign up for the selective service. I soon learned that women don't have to do this. So being a great believed in women's rights I contacted my congress person who told me that signing up for selective service was the cost of living in a free country. To this I replied why is it free for women then to which he never replied. Seems to me women's suffrage and feminism only seem to ask for the privilege's not the responsibilities. You can't rail against the "patriarchy" then expect me to hold the door open for you. It's all or nothing.
I remember my brother had to register, but I was under the impression that it's no longer required. Do men still niid to sign up? If so, are women still not required to do so? If no one knows/responds, I'll google it later when I have more time, and post what I find.
Load More Replies...The pendulum effect: Yank it too hard one way (patriarchy) and you'll regret things when it is finally unleashed and swings hard the other way. Extremism in anything is bad.
Older female hitting on younger male is acceptable. Older male hitting on younger female is creepy.
I personally don’t think about age I just think that if you knew that person as a child when you were an adult that is gross.
The only problem with age gaps is if you're actively seeking it. If that gap is an active deal breaker for you, that they must be "18" or must be 20 years younger, etc. Then odds are you lack the maturity to be in a relationship and your reasons are problematic. If, however, you simply find someone you connect with and are attracted to, regardless of the gap, so long as it's legal and you're not abusing an authoritative position (real or imagined) then there's nothing wrong with it.
Agreed. It's like actively refusing to date anyone over the age of oh idk 25, when you're nearly 50.
Load More Replies...depends on how big the difference is. Is the older person old enough to be the younger ones parent? creepy AF.
so when two people meet, one is 50 and the other is 70 you think thats creepy?
Load More Replies...News to me as a female! Apparently tons of older dudes haven’t got the memo. Also young guys can be creeps too :)
Because of the expectations. What they're taught while they are young. Most girls are taught that they're going to get this delightful life in exchange for being a woman.
Cougars are a thing ... creepy old men, not so much ... like a millenial female wouldn't even think of bedding Keanu Reeves if he approached her ... I mean, other than he's already in a relationship ...
It's legal for Christians to discriminate against queer people but illegal for queer people to discriminate against Christians.
Depends what country we're discussing. This is an international forum.
Load More Replies...If christians discriminate, then they aren’t as christen as they say they are
Well, as the Catholic Church you can refuse to bless homosexual couples but as a homosexual - let's say - waiter you can't refuse to serve catholic guests. So in my eyes they've a point.
But a Christian waiter can’t refuse to serve lgbtq quests either
Load More Replies...How is it illegal to discriminate against christians? What charge would that be?
Abrahamic religions have ruled the world for 2000 years. gonna take time to fix all the harm they have caused.
In the US, conservative, protestant voters and their state and federal representatives, are constantly pushing laws that limit the freedoms of gays, the reproductive rights of women, and how those of other religions are treated. It is very subtle, but it happens on a daily basis. Gay couples trying to adopt. Women not just wanting, but needing an abortion. Atheists wanting to run for public office. Not sure there is any published "dogma" at their churches or in their political parties, but the constant push and shove and leverage is ever present. And end results damages lives.
In the U.S.A. at least, I thought sexual orientation was one of the protected groups. I know the government (congress) shall make no law respecting the establishment of a religion nor prohibit the free exercise thereof, but I don't think Christians are a protected group, unless all major religious groups are. Certainly I, a Christian, would be opposed to being part of a protected group due to my religion unless Muslim, Jewish, Wiccan, Buddhists, atheist, polytheists, spiritualists, and so many more are all also part of a protected group.
No, not true. Either factually or legally - says the gay guy with a JD degree.
Fighting cancel culture by cancelling.
Cancel culture is a massive double standard all on its own. You don't fight bigotry by being bigotted.
That's not what "cancel culture" is. Calling out bigotry is not bigoted. It's holding people accountable for their beliefs.
Load More Replies...Me personally I f*****g love cancel culture. If you say some ignorant s**t you should not be allowed to say anything until you stop saying ignorant s**t, yes I"m well aware I would be all the canceled. But the internet is not a PUBLIC space, you have 0 right to freedom of speech on the internet. typing on a keyboard is not a natural born right, speech mostly is.
The issue with cancel culture isn't that you're not allowed to say anything -until you stop-. It's that you could have said something 20 years ago that was ignorant and you could have even apologized and made significant strides towards negating that stupid thing, but now that it's been discovered, you'll never be allowed to speak again. Ever. THAT is the problem with cancel culture.
Load More Replies...There’s a thing called cancel culture where people will boycott online creators for saying certain things. Sometimes it’s justified but mostly it’s not
Load More Replies...That's why I watch a lot of British TV. They know about cancel culture, but don't seem to care about it. And they make fun of it while being accepting of differences.
The ones whining loudest about "cancel culture" are racists, bigots, and sexists who don't want to be accountable for their actions and words. When rightwingnuts started soiling themselves over Dylan Mulvaney, NOBODY in the LGBTQIA community whined "not fair!" What they objected to was the hate speech and threats of violence against her. Her existence and being alive as a Trans person IS NOT the same thing as cancelling Franco or Piven for sexually assaulting women.
Do you really think cancel culture is applied in a just manner 100% of the time? A good example of exactly how it isn't applied in a just manner 100% of the time is in how many people are labeled as antisemites simply because they don't agree with 100% of everything that has to do with Israelis and Jewish people.
Load More Replies...So there's a difference between consequences for your actions and words, and people digging up ancient history where you SAID something stupid in ignorance that you have long since learned better. Between justifiable consequences, and ruining a life because they said something stupid ages ago and have since recanted. Between canceling someone for molesting teenage fans and HOPING it turns out someone you disagree with or dislike proves to be an abuser so you can justify destroying their lives (like, how do you get to a place where you HOPE someone is being hurt so that you can justify destroying a life???) So there's a difference between canceling someone as justifiable consequence, and cancel culture.
Load More Replies...It’s rude when a man ask a woman what she brings to the table but it’s not rude if she does it.
Because in a patriarchy the woman only had herself. She was prevented from working, owning property, voting, etc. She damn better well ask what the man can provide or she and her kids will end up on the street. Which is exactly what happened when her husband died early.
A male-female relationship may be linked to various pieces of furniture, but a table isn't one of them.
Female rappers only become especially celebrated if they really stand out. They have to a *niche*. They have to be cute. Male rappers, it's about their rapping and nothing else. Their niche is considered a bonus.
Women in music have to be fashion icons wasting $$$$$ on dresses and makeup. Males wear t-shirts and jeans, MAYBE buy a comb.
Not rap, but anyone remembered what happened to Milli Vanilli after it was known that the two front men was just puppets and the real band didnt look like that at all? People were like, oh but we liked you for your talent and we dont care that you are not two hot looking guys.... oh wait...
Yep. Some showed differential treatment by pointing out that both treatments are equally problematic or equally okay, and some tried to argue that they should be allowed to mistreat others because those are trying to fight against mistreatment. And some were plainly claims that because the other group did something wrong they should be allowed to keep doing wrong.
Load More Replies...The lack of changing tables in men’s bathrooms. I try to help my wife anytime we’re out and I’m with her, but the amount of times that the men’s room doesn’t have a changing table is ridiculous. Also, if it does have one it is in the middle of the entire bathroom. No way am I going to change my two year old daughter’s diaper in the middle of a Walmart bathroom. Put it in the stall please.
It's out in the open at the door in women's bathrooms. Always bothered me.
Load More Replies...When dads are looking after the children they are just 'baby sitting' them...argh
People eat plants but don't want to be eaten by plants either. Self-preservation knows no bounds.
Load More Replies...Pakistan calling for an emergency meeting in UNs human right commity saying Sweden is violating human rights by not making it illegal to burn a religios book. The same Pakistan that put people in jail - or worse - for being LGBT or a woman wearing the wrong clothes, and where you can be executed for being an atheist. I think it is very disrespectfull to burn texts that way - but if you prison, publicly lashing and kill people for their gender preferences, clothes and beliefs... just shut up and go eff yourselfe - and please just leave this planet, you are just garbage.
I would recommend nearly every one on this thread watch "SNL Republican or Not" starring Kenan Thompson.
In the US, men must register for possible draft into military service, but women are exempt.
One of my high school student pointed out that you don't see women's rights activists demanding that women register for the draft.
Load More Replies...In Denmark, the husband of the Queen is a prince, but the wife of the King is a Queen.
Alro, I admit, I had a "so?" reaction. Then I thought about hierarchy and how King is considered greater than queen who is considered greater than prince. The language will have to adjust to correct the misogyny that is in that hierarchy. Perhaps the ruler is the king, no matter the gender, and the spouse is the queen? Leaving prince and princess for the children. Or King and queen are rulers. And the spouse would be king consort or queen consort, denoting they are married to royalty, but not a ruler themselves. This is really for people who have kings and queens to figure out. Where I'm from we have the president and first lady. In case of a woman president, she'd still be the president, but would a president's husband be called first gentleman? First man? First lord? None of those seem right.
Load More Replies...An obese person who loses a huge amount of weight is celebrated as an inspiration. A person who avoided becoming obese is not celebrated as an inspiration. A person who is two years sober (or whatever length of time) is celebrated as an inspiration. A person who never abused drugs or alcohol is not celebrated as an inspiration.
For me, it depends on context, such as upbringing and genetics. An example: I was impressed by a woman whose family abused alcohol - she wasn't tempted to drink, but to gamble. She made a deal with herself: only bingo once a week and the money had to come from a second job. I'm not tempted to gamble or abuse drugs. Thus, I don't see the point in being lauded for it when it hasn't been a struggle for me at all.
Load More Replies...Cops are constantly breaking laws and drive like they own the roads, breaking traffic laws as well. But they are the ones in charge to enforce them. Aren't they supposed to be leading by example not to break any laws at all? I want to see cops driving at the speed limit at least.
How do you know they aren't speeding to clock the speeder up the road long enough before they switch on the lights. Just because you see a cop speeding doesn't mean they are breaking the law.
Load More Replies...Yep. Some showed differential treatment by pointing out that both treatments are equally problematic or equally okay, and some tried to argue that they should be allowed to mistreat others because those are trying to fight against mistreatment. And some were plainly claims that because the other group did something wrong they should be allowed to keep doing wrong.
Load More Replies...The lack of changing tables in men’s bathrooms. I try to help my wife anytime we’re out and I’m with her, but the amount of times that the men’s room doesn’t have a changing table is ridiculous. Also, if it does have one it is in the middle of the entire bathroom. No way am I going to change my two year old daughter’s diaper in the middle of a Walmart bathroom. Put it in the stall please.
It's out in the open at the door in women's bathrooms. Always bothered me.
Load More Replies...When dads are looking after the children they are just 'baby sitting' them...argh
People eat plants but don't want to be eaten by plants either. Self-preservation knows no bounds.
Load More Replies...Pakistan calling for an emergency meeting in UNs human right commity saying Sweden is violating human rights by not making it illegal to burn a religios book. The same Pakistan that put people in jail - or worse - for being LGBT or a woman wearing the wrong clothes, and where you can be executed for being an atheist. I think it is very disrespectfull to burn texts that way - but if you prison, publicly lashing and kill people for their gender preferences, clothes and beliefs... just shut up and go eff yourselfe - and please just leave this planet, you are just garbage.
I would recommend nearly every one on this thread watch "SNL Republican or Not" starring Kenan Thompson.
In the US, men must register for possible draft into military service, but women are exempt.
One of my high school student pointed out that you don't see women's rights activists demanding that women register for the draft.
Load More Replies...In Denmark, the husband of the Queen is a prince, but the wife of the King is a Queen.
Alro, I admit, I had a "so?" reaction. Then I thought about hierarchy and how King is considered greater than queen who is considered greater than prince. The language will have to adjust to correct the misogyny that is in that hierarchy. Perhaps the ruler is the king, no matter the gender, and the spouse is the queen? Leaving prince and princess for the children. Or King and queen are rulers. And the spouse would be king consort or queen consort, denoting they are married to royalty, but not a ruler themselves. This is really for people who have kings and queens to figure out. Where I'm from we have the president and first lady. In case of a woman president, she'd still be the president, but would a president's husband be called first gentleman? First man? First lord? None of those seem right.
Load More Replies...An obese person who loses a huge amount of weight is celebrated as an inspiration. A person who avoided becoming obese is not celebrated as an inspiration. A person who is two years sober (or whatever length of time) is celebrated as an inspiration. A person who never abused drugs or alcohol is not celebrated as an inspiration.
For me, it depends on context, such as upbringing and genetics. An example: I was impressed by a woman whose family abused alcohol - she wasn't tempted to drink, but to gamble. She made a deal with herself: only bingo once a week and the money had to come from a second job. I'm not tempted to gamble or abuse drugs. Thus, I don't see the point in being lauded for it when it hasn't been a struggle for me at all.
Load More Replies...Cops are constantly breaking laws and drive like they own the roads, breaking traffic laws as well. But they are the ones in charge to enforce them. Aren't they supposed to be leading by example not to break any laws at all? I want to see cops driving at the speed limit at least.
How do you know they aren't speeding to clock the speeder up the road long enough before they switch on the lights. Just because you see a cop speeding doesn't mean they are breaking the law.
Load More Replies...
