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“I Was 29 When I Found Out”: 71 People Who Took A DNA Test For Fun And Got A Serious Plot Twist
These days, if you want to find out where your ancestors are from, you don’t need to dig through family records or spend hours in dusty archives. Thanks to modern DNA services, all you have to do is order a kit, swab your cheek, pop it in an envelope, and send it off to a lab. Before long, you’ll get a breakdown of your origins, whether that’s Ireland, Australia, or somewhere you never expected.
But many of these tests offer more than percentages. They can also match you with other people in the system who share your DNA, potentially linking you to relatives you’ve never met. And as convenient as that sounds, it can also bring some uncomfortable surprises—because once those connections appear, old stories don’t always hold up.
On Reddit, people who took DNA tests and discovered way more than they bargained for shared what they learned. Scroll down to read their stories and see just how wild it can get.
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
My dad knew that his father was not his biological father (the former was in a wheelchair for most of his life), but never wanted to know the details. He took a 23andme test about 6 years ago and, since then, has discovered 35+ half-siblings. Their biological father was a urologist doing research on artificial insemination in the 50s (with his clients’ consent, of course), and many had no idea that they did not grow up with their biological father—definitely a difficult time for some.
Since then, they’ve had multiple “family reunions” and stay in touch via a Facebook group. It’s pretty wild, they all have the same jaw line and are successful in their chosen fields (they’re all doctors/engineers/academics of some sort!). I actually wound up getting my current job via a referral from my favorite new half-aunt—I often joke that 23andme is a better networking tool than LinkedIn :).
RELATED:
#2
No destruction, but 23andme showed me the dad who I knew as a child (left early, so no real relationship) wasn't my bio dad. Then about a year later, my sister on my bio dad's side (I thought I was an only child and didn't know who bio dad was) reached out because 23andme told her about me. Now I have a bio dad, a brother, and a sister. They are all really nice and we are all trying to forge a new relationship.
They are all coming over in about 2 hours where my wife and daughter will meet the dad for the first time. They've already met the brother and sister.
I have nothing but good things to say about what 23andme did for me.
Update:
OK, I will be honest, I didn't expect this much of a positive response. I'll update here. I will apologize ahead of time for any vagueness in the answers. While I'm open about all of it, some could be considered their personal business and so I'll gloss over those details where appropriate. :)
First, to answer a few questions that came up on this thread:
u/Swamp-woman asked "Did your bio dad know about you?"
Yes. He did. I didn't know about him though.
u/Username_000001 asked "did your mom confirm this to you? or does the 23 and me have a lot more info than the other dna tests i’ve heard of?"
I am estranged from my mother. She is not in a place in life to be able to be a positive influence on anyone. While that part is unfortunate, it did make this discovery of a family much more positively impactful. I went from no family to two siblings and a dad. Pretty weird. 23andme was able to confirm that my sister is, in fact, genetically my half-sister (different mom). From that, the relationship to the rest was straightforward.
u/Anonymous asked "Can you explain how 23andMe hooked you up?"
They have a genetic family feature. It is opt-in and I did. If someone else shows as a match, they link you with a guess at the relationship. I see an army of 3rd--7th cousins from all over the world, but when my sistem joined, and also opted in, it said I was potentially her grandfather (25% match genetically). We figured out quickly that it was a half-sister. I'm not old enough to be her grandfather, plus the dad confirmed everything with names and details that he knew.
u/mclabop asked "How does the reaching out work? Is it an anonymous email? Or can each person with a DNA based close genetic connection just find each other’s info? Or is all the personal info up for grabs?"
It linked us after we both opted in for that, but still was only a name. She did a search for me by name and locations our dad lived on FB, found me, and sent me a FB message.
#3
Not destroyed, it just confirmed what we already knew that there was more than one Father between 5 siblings. At least three as it turned out.
ernyc3777:
Yup. Love my mom but my late grandmother told me she had doubts that my older brother was my dads kid. Also, there is doubts of 2 of my half siblings who my father fought legally to gain custody of when they were very young.
We've agreed we'd rather not know and just be our own little messed up family of 6 children who love each other and their nieces/nephews dearly.
Edit: going to bed. But here's a message for those out there who look down on my situation. The world isn't perfect and either are people. Family is who you choose.
My siblings and I choose to love each other regardless of who is biologically related to who.
TheUnknown285:
Mama got around.
MadamNerd:
My dad had six older siblings. As they all understood it, the first six all had the same dad, and he was the only one with a different father.
Nope. After grandma [passed away], they discovered the sixth one had a different father as well. So seven kids between three different dads. I guess my grandma thought admitting that she had three baby fathers was too much??? She had her kids in the 50s and 60s, so it would definitely have been more taboo than it is now.
#4
My dad turned out not to be my dad. So the basic 23andme family surprise I guess? Also found out that my heritage can best be described as white mystery.
37-pieces-of-flair:
White mystery sounds like a bad chocolate truffle name.
Anon:
It honestly describes most of my mother in law’s cooking.
tedwinaslowsby:
Yep. 99.99% European and .01% Broadly East Asian and Native American. I am so confused.
#5
Lived next door to my best friend, and her family, all through my childhood and young adult life. Graduated from high school, friend and I had a weekend bender to celebrate, and hooked up, started dating. Fast forward a few years, to late November this year, we decide to try a test.
Turns out she's my half-sister on the paternal side.
Apparently my dad and her mom had been having an affair, and she got pregnant. Both parents are getting divorced, and we haven't been able to look at each other since.
bigfootswillie:
Watching Game of Thrones must be difficult now.
#6
My 64 year old friend just found out that his aunt was actually his grandmother, but she gave birth so young and so long ago to his father that the child was raised by her parents. He said it made sense, because his aunt always seem to take special interest in him over the other cousins.
#7
Can’t speak for myself but one of my old high school teachers took an Ancestry DNA test and found out his dad wasn’t actually his biological father. His mom had cheated on her husband. He joked around so much that when he told our class, I thought he was joking. Nope.
tweakingforjesus:
Every year while learning punnett squares in ninth grade biology a student realizes that they are not their parent's offspring.
whoop_di_dooooo:
When I was in high school biology we did blood typing, where the teacher determined the result for us (which I can't imagine being allowed nowadays). I got O positive. My parents are A positive and AB positive, no way I could be an O. So I questioned my mom about my Dad. She was definitely not happy about it.
Later in college when I started to donate blood I found out I am B positive. Sorry I doubted you, Dad!
Did I say that out loud? 9 minutes ago
That third comment is why the NHS will not accept the results of OTC at-home blood type tests. If your blood group hasn't been determined by them, they're not interested.
#8
Spouse found out his dad wasn't his dad. His judgmental holier than thou catholic mom had some explaining to do. He lost an immense amount of respect for her, especially when the bio dad tried to reach out to him. She is still in contact with the married man she had an affair with over 4 decades ago. He refuses to speak to him and has limited contact with her.
ragecuddles:
That's brutal. Did his non bio dad find out too? That's got to be terrible to find out after so many years. I hope they still have a good relationship.
OP:
Yep, he did and they still have a good relationship. My husband doesn't discuss it with him because he doesn't want his mothers lies to compromise the relationship he's had for 4 decades.
invisiblebody:
"He may have been your father, boy, but he wasn't your daddy."
#9
Family wasn’t destroyed but my hopes for knowing my birth parents were.
Using the DNA testing I found my birth parents (confirmed by CPS documents) and reached out. They want nothing to do with me. I had always imagined some great meeting but now I just know it will never happen.
It hurts to know that they don’t want to know me more than not knowing anything.
sausageslinger11:
It could be shame from giving you up, or perhaps they are afraid to face you for fear of you being angry.
OP:
I think that she might not have told her new husband about me. The internet has told me a lot about her life which is almost worse because we are very similar. We are both teachers, love our dogs, and run marathons. I wish she knew I don’t want to [mess] with her life, just know her and say thank you.
godoftitsandsangria:
I recently found out I am adopted and am currently on the fence about doing a 23andMe test. I am so curious about my birth parents, but I'm scared they won't want to know anything about me. I kinda just wish I could be a fly on the wall and observe but not interact.
OP:
So my sister and brother are also adopted. My sister has a great relationship with her birth parents. My disappointment aside, 23 and me did reveal some super interesting things about my heritage that I didn’t know.
#10
My mom and I did ancestry last year for Christmas and found out her birth dad wasn’t her actual dad and we were able to find out who her real dad was (both deceased) because one of her birth cousins found her on Facebook and contacted her and they put the puzzle together. My grandma had an affair with her husband with someone he was serving in the military with and when we brought it up to her she denied it ever happening and then we were going through old photo albums and found a picture of the 3 of there where on the back she wrote the month and year with “had an affair with (his name)”
And still denies it.
#11
Not me, but one of my bar regulars did the test with her older sister. Turns out not only are they not related to each other, but both of them are adopted. And, their adoptive parents are both dead. And, their entire extended family knew the whole time but no one ever told them.
licuala:
Bright side, two people chose very deliberately to adopt them as they were and raise them as their own and that's beautiful.
OP:
Yes, that’s her view on it as well! Even when she was a kid she thought to be adopted made you so special because it meant that you were picked.
#12
My mom’s coworker (adopted) took the test and found a full sibling match (and then found out she had actually 4 full siblings). The coworker and sibling made contact but couldn’t piece together the story so the sibling put her in touch with her bio parents. Both of them flat out denied that she was their daughter and freaked out.
After a few go-arounds with the parents, the dad admitted to this lady that she was their daughter but the mother had gotten pregnant super young and they weren’t ready to start a family so they sent her to one of those homes where she gave birth and immediately put her up for adoption. Then the parents just decided it never happened and lived their lives (got married, had kids) like they didn’t give their first born child up for adoption because of societal pressures. But the mother actually believes she never had this first daughter because of some psychotic break and cannot accept her own reality as truth.
PhukYoo2:
My wife has a cousin that was adopted. He was finally able to find his bio parents and he had several full siblings. As an only child, he was so happy and reached out only to be told he wasn’t one of them. He was dropped off for adoption because he was born after the parents divorce and no one wanted him, including his siblings. Really heartbreaking to hear about because he’d always wanted this big family and they wouldn’t accept him.
#13
I grew up in foster homes. Never met my dad. My mom passed away. Through, ancestry.com and the help of a stranger, I was able to track down my biological father. Unfortunately, he passed 9 months earlier.
His widow got my letter in the mail addressed to him, asking if he might be my father. She called me, and in our phone conversation it was pretty apparent she did not take it very well. She was super angry at me. There was nothing I could do to try to convince her I'm not scammer, and if was true that her husband was father. She royally flipped out in the most negative way. I got nothing but tears and anger at me and in return I gave her nothing but understanding and kindness. I understand she is a grieving widow. I never reached out to her again because I feel I was a source of tremendous sadness, even though I was born before their marriage.
But through, the telephone conversation I found out I had a half sister. I wrote my half sister via e-mail. (friend was able to find the e-mail addy). We sent a few messages back and fourth and then she ghosted me. I kept it as positive as I could and tried to provide as much information as I could that I'm not a scammer, that I am a good person and that I am sincere. It's been a year, and I've reached out twice more since then, several months apart but she has gone completely dark on me.
I'd really like to know about my father. What was he like? How did he pass? Could I see some pictures? Could they tell me more about my heritage but at the same time it's pretty clear they don't want anything to do with me.
It might have been better if I just left it a mystery.
Fluffybunnykitten:
The widow was probably more upset at the infidelity. He took it to his grave so she took it out on you. I’m so sorry this happened to you.
KatSaidThat 1 hour ago
That last part is probably spot on. And the half sister ghosted you because her mother found out you were in contact.
#14
My brother got our whole family 23andme kits for Christmas last year. Everyone did the swab and got their results back which showed how we’re all related and yada yada yada, but my results came back inconclusive. 23andme sent me a new kit to do it again and THAT one also came back inconclusive. So the company sent me an email basically saying I can never do it again probably because I’m using a bunch of resources with no results.
Anyway now my family says I don’t have any human DNA and that I must be a lizard. They make lizard sounds when I’m around and I am ashamed.
sturmwesen 4 hours ago
when we did a breed test on my dog I forgot not to feed him before. I half expected results that said "duck". maybe OP ate something before or used aggressive mouthwash? sounds like a user error
#15
I found out I’m not Irish after taking one....I have an Irish tattoo. My mom's family always bragged about how Irish we were. My life obviously wasn’t destroyed but funny anyways.
It was over twenty years ago, I was 18 and stupid. The tattoo is a nautical compass with a Celtic knot in the middle on my shoulder.
Anchor689:
Well, that sounds like a good excuse to move to Ireland and become a citizen. Then your tattoo will be accurate.
Floeckchen 5 hours ago
Can someone explain to me why some US americans are so obsessed with heritage? Is it because the country is so young and doesn't provide much of a root beyond the 18th century, except you are a native? Or is there a romaticized view about tribalism?
#16
I’ve been searching for my father my whole life and through 23andme I just found a half-brother, finally answering the question. Our father is unfortunately passed, but we’re meeting in person in April.
A couple weeks after we found each other we were also contacted by another half-sister.
#17
I just got off the phone with my newly found bio dad. My mom[passed away] in 1980, my dad in 2012. I logged Friday in to ancestrydna to get my results from their Black Friday sale. It said that this person in NC was my father, no doubt. Turns out it was my mom's boyfriend before my dad came along. I have no idea if anyone knew. My newly found father certainly didn’t.
#18
Husband's grandmother was going on and on about how her grandmother was 100% Cherokee Indian. My MIL and I never believed her. The test results come back with zero percent Native American, so she starts saying the whole thing is a huge scam. Honey, no. You’re white all the way.
#19
I have an 86 year old friend that found out he has another son (has 6 kids by an ex wife). The guy is 61 and has been looking for his father all of his life. My friend only went out with the mother twice and then she disappeared. They met for the first time this month. I hope they have several more years to get to spend time together.
#20
My mom found out she had an older sister that was given up for adoption, my grandmother hid the pregnancy and forged my grandfather's signature on the adoption papers. We'd already known that my grandmother was an awful person, but yeah this was above and beyond what we thought she was capable of.
#21
Not me, but a college buddy sent one in. Found out her dad wasn't her actual dad. But that was just the tip of that iceberg. Apparently her mother had been engaged to a guy when she cheated on him with a different guy and got pregnant. She tried to pass it off as being her fiance's kid but the timing didn't match up and he did some digging that lead to his fiance's lover. That blew up and he left her so she got married to the guy she cheated with.
Here's the kicker. She was pregnant with the fiance's kid, not the lover's kid. So when my friend called her dad and found all of this out plus telling him what she found out he apparently just laughed it off (chalked it up to karmic retribution) and said he'd break it to her mom, told her he still loves her, and made sure their holiday plans were still on.
Time goes by and the mother contacts the biological father (who has his own family) and he ends up driving down to see her. So she meets her real dad and they talk for a bit, but also strangers so they decided it was best to just pretend they weren't family but kept each others contact info.
Was quite to story to have unfold.
#22
Grandpa fathered a baby in the Netherlands at the end of WW2. Her parents didn’t want her coming back to Canada with him, so they told him the baby [passed away] of pneumonia around age 3.
I didn’t find out until grandpa had been [gone] for about 15 years. Found grandpa’s name on another family tree and sent a “hi! And you are?” message. Immediately got back “we’ve been looking for you all for years” message.
Fast forward a few years, and my dutch cousin has some to visit us in Canada, and I have been to the Netherlands to meet a huge family I never knew about. It’s wild.
ETA: I can’t believe how this blew up! I’m trying to respond to everyone’s questions, but here are a few bits:
-Grandpa and this woman were in LUV. My cousin hasd boxes of artifacts from their relationship. They went to family weddings together, socialized publicly, etc.
-apparently in these days, parents had to give permission for a girl to marry a foreigner. (Don’t know if this was a legal thing, or a societal pressure thing.). But the bottom line was that her parents wouldn’t give permission. He still sent money and photos and stuff, and so they decided to tell him the baby had [passed away] in hopes that he would stop trying. It worked.
-Grandpa went on and got married and had 3 kids, then split and got married again, this time to my grandma. But my whole life, he got SO emotional when talking about NL. More so than Italy or Germany, where he was also stationed. I always throught that this was because he was part of the liberation of holland, so he felt more connected to the people there. (I was kind of right!)
-my Dutch cousin and his family are AMAZING. They invited my partner and I to NL last year, and the best way I can phrase is is “we met as strangers, and we left as family”. We still talk all the time. His 8 year old daughter loves to make fun of my Canadian accent when I try to speak Dutch, and I love that.
2nd edit: just a fun story. When I visited NL, I was lucky enough to go to my cousin’s anniversary party and meet a couple hundred wonderful locals. They kept excitedly calling us the “Kennedys”, and my partner and I were sooo confused, but flattered. (We thought maybe it was slang for North Americans? We had no idea!) Fast forward a couple of days, and we went to the cemetery for Canadian soldiers and saw the sign….. Canadese is Dutch for Canadians. 🤣
#23
I discovered that I have some of the highest known neanderthal DNA, more than 99% users and over 4% of my total DNA. 3 tests submitted and a flight provided to a university in Australia for a testing. Was cool at first, and then not.
It bothered my wife a bit at first thanks to watching a couple documentaries.
#24
Grandma cheated on Grandpa while he was in Korea. She had a baby girl and put her up for adoption all before Grandpa came home from the war. They then went on to have 5 boys. None of which knew they had an older sister. My dad's cousin matched with my newfound aunt on 23andme and since she only lives an hour away, she stops by once a month to get to know the family.
#25
Didn't really destroy a family, but it did put a lot of things into perspective from my already [messed up] family. I'm ex-mormon, also gay, and excommunicated from my family for it, as they're a particular brand of crazy. The reason I did it is because before my family broke off into their little sect of racist, sexist weirdos and moved to the middle of nowhere in Wyoming, we were a pretty normal 50's mormon family from Las Vegas. I knew nothing from my dad's side, and little from my mom's, since she married into it.
I found a few cousins on my mom's side who are actually really lovely, normal people, some of who are mormon but still completely welcoming and adored the fact that they got a new cousin even with me being gay.
My dad's side, who we really wanted to find out about, I pinged a whole family of siblings from San Diego who are black. now, I know that doesn't seem too crazy, except that my dad's family, as best as I could figure out, broke off from the normal part of the LDS church because they changed their policy on letting POC take leadership roles within the community. Basically, grandpa was a racist piece of garbage.
Through talking to them, they told me their grandma got pregnant by a white boyfriend, and they had pictures of him, but he and his family left Nevada and their grandma was forced to move to California to live with relatives when she was a single mom and just lied about the baby's dad dying in Vietnam. The baby was their mom, and after seeing pictures, the baby's father was my oldest uncle. Baby's mom married when her daughter was ten, and she was adopted by her step-dad.
So yeah, it wasn't my grandfather's hatred of black people joining the church that got us into this mess, it was just his general racism.
#26
I guess I could pretend that I was shocked to find out my dad is not my biological father.
I didn't think he wasn't, but I knew there was a possibility considering my mom's... social habits. Turns out my father is my dad's best friend and the kid I played with as a toddler was my half-brother. Both are [gone], as is my mom, so my dad and I just don't acknowledge it and carry on as usual.
#27
Not me, but my great-aunt.
Growing up, her siblings joked that their neighbor was her real father because she looked different from them. That turned out to be true.
To add to that, her sister (my grandmother) had a son with the neighbor's son, so my great-aunt is my uncle's aunt on both sides.
#28
Found out I had an aunt on my dad’s side who was given up cause she was conceived during an affair. Her adoptive parents lived in the same town, and she went to school with my dad but didn’t know he was her half brother. She was also in my mom’s friend group, so that when I saw her and asked my mom if she knew her she was like, yeah, I’ll call her right now...
It was wild. My grandma denies it all too….
#29
I have a friend who found out his family-first, godly Christian grandfather had fathered four children outside his marriage with three different neighbors. The youngest child was born to a 17-year-old girl, the same year the grandpa [passed away].
And that's just the ones they know about so far.
#30
My 75-year-old grandmother just found out her dad was not her real dad. Turns out her mom had an affair with the family doctor and never told a single soul. Not only did she find out her family doctor was her real dad (the one who birthed not only her but also all of her own children) but turns out this family doctor was sleeping with a lot of his patients. She now has a bunch of new half-sisters and brothers; some of them knew who their real dad was, and some of them didn’t. My great-grandmother was quite the secret keeper.
#31
My grandpa passed away from Alzheimer’s, so my family uploaded our raw DNA to another site to see if any of us have the same genes that make it likely for any of the rest of us to have it as well. Luckily most of us didn’t have the gene my grandpa had, but my uncles have it. So while my immediate family knows we’ve got average chances, my poor uncles are probably dreading the future.
#32
Kind of the opposite. I found out I have an older sister, apparently my dad was being a little promiscuous lol. RIP old man. And she also shares my birthday, what are the chances?!
#33
Husband found cousin who informed him of the passing of his estranged father. Father had some money in bank, family fought over the money.
#34
I'm 25 and I've told this story a couple times in r/adopted.
In September I found my birth mother. We talked and she invited the man I thought was my birth father to dinner and my older brother who was from the same parents and we were adopted by the same family and grew up together came too.
We had a great time and we all clicked immediately. The man who I thought was my birth father was amazing and my birth mother and I liked so many of the same things. We made plans to see shows and I was finally going to meet her mother my grandmother and learn about the heritage I never had.
Then the 23 and me test came back that I took right before finding her came back. I found my uncle. Originally I thought it was her brother but it wast it was my birth father's brother. But my birth father wasn't the man I met. My brother and I were only half-siblings. Which there is still some tension between us.
My birth mother went ballistic for me finding out. She called me every name in the book saying i was ruining everyone's lives and how it was my fault this happened. It came out she knew all along I wasn't the birth father's kid. Everyone stopped talking to her and was pissed.
Except for my actual birth father's wife. Turns out they were friends from high school. My birth mother has been texting and calling her constantly telling her how it's all my fault and telling her I'm an awful person and to not let my birth father talk to me.
Through all this stress I don't really know if I want my birth father in my life.
The funny thing is my brother's birth father the man who I thought I was has been the most amazing man in all of this and is the only person in this invited to my wedding and i can't wait to have him there.
#35
Not “destroyed” because I’m the only one beyond my husband who knows, but I may eventually tell the [woman] who birthed me (if I ever have the serious displeasure of speaking to her again, so likely never) that the reason she doesn’t know who her birth dad is is because he’s also her great uncle.
#36
AncestryDNA didn’t destroy my family, but I was able to meet my biological father. My parents used IVF to have children and from the limited info we had before the testing, I assumed that part of my genetic makeup would remain a mystery. It was an eye opening experience and I am glad I did it.
#37
Not me, but my wife. She got a match with someone that didn't make sense. She reached out to them, and it turns out she has a brother that she didn't know about. Turns out her dad cheated on her mom when my wife was very young, and that produced a son. My wife's mom and dad divorced when she was 5 from another cheating incident, so while surprising, it wasn't at the same time.
Everyone has met and they are trying to get a relationship going, which I think is cool. It wasn't my wife's brother's fault he was illegitimately conceived, the parents have been long divorced on my wife's side, so the weirdness is largely minimized.
#38
My mother got an extra half sister, about the same age as her younger sister, and turned out they were in the same class at school and there is one photo of them together in a school photo about age 15.
No big dramas, grandfather who did the dirty has been [gone for] over 30 years so he escaped it. Surviving siblings were a little miffed and my mother recalled a temporary split of her parents, but it caused no big drama.
#39
Not destroyed but... it's odd. I learned my father was not my biological father. He [passed away] a few months before I took the test but apparently, he knew and didn't want me to know. I didn't get the chance to tell him it didn't matter. Also apparently, my Mom doesn't know my bio-father's name either it since it's been over 30 years.
Wasn't even an affair, she met dad like a month later. The math of the pregnancy had always been tight so it makes sense, but now I wonder what to do. 23andme has 3 close family connections supposedly and no one on moms side has used it. I wonder sometimes about opting in.
#40
I know it's not the question, but 23andme actually brought my family closer together! My cousin did one of the tests and she ended up finding her long lost sister that my aunt had to give up for adoption over 30 years ago. It was a really surreal experience and my aunt and her family have never been happier :).
#41
My best friend found out a few years ago, in her late forties, that she has two half sisters from a different mother. Her sisters knew she existed, and even her first name, but didn’t know anything else about her. Her sisters are just like her. Same eyes, smile, and hair. Same shoe size. Same great sense of humor, deep compassion, and strong intellect. The physical resemblance is shocking enough, but it was hearing all three of them laugh in the exact same way that tripped me out the most.
#42
My uncle found out he had a son who was 20. The son took a 23andMe test and found my uncle's contact info. The son lived far away, but was literally invited to move in with my uncle's family. I have no idea how my aunt was okay with this, as they were married for 30+ years, meaning he must have cheated on her.
So that 4 bedroom house now houses the grandma, my aunt, uncle, my uncle's son and wife, and in total, 6 kids (4 my cousins, 2 my uncle's son's kids). They have 9 cars in a house that only has a 4 car driveway, so the entire road is filled with cars.
The worst part is that they're getting all of this money from my grandmother, who is hiding all of this. She bought them 3 cars, one being a 50k lexus, the other being another expensive Mercedes, and another being a new Toyota Camry. Meanwhile my grandmother never bought us anything, not even floor mats for mine or my brothers cars. And we only have 3 people in our family, being my mom, brother, and I. She gives all of her money to my uncle, and constantly asks us to do favors for my uncle too. She asks us to go bring her food shopping because she doesn't have a car. She'll use the food we buy at the store to make food for my uncles family and give us the leftovers.
Basically that whole family is chaos, and I'll just keep out of it. Not much of a social person anyway.
#43
Two of my cousins found out by Ancestry.com they had two different fathers. One is in their late 40’s and the other one is in her early 50’s. All of their life they thought they were half Italian. They both did Ancestry.com..fast forward to a couple of months and they both get their results a few days apart. My cousin that’s in her late 40’s her’s comes back as half Cuban & European my other cousin in her early 50’s comes back as British, Irish and West European. [Chaos ensued] when they confronted my Aunt. While my uncle(their dad growing up) was overseas in Vietnam my aunt had two separate affairs and had of both them by two different men. Things have quieted down since then but when it first happened I felt like I was on an episode of Maury.
By the way he does have a daughter with my aunt so it’s three of them with three different fathers.
#44
Both sides of the family were affected by it.
My dad, who passed away 15 years ago, fathered a kid when he was 19 and never knew about it. My half brother found out and reached out to me on Facebook. We’ve actually developed a neat relationship even though he’s 20+ years older than me.
My mom’s sister found out that my grandfather (now deceased) was not actually her dad a couple of months ago. She’s actually been kind of accepting about it and has reached out to her biological father’s family. On the other hand, my 90 y.o. Grandmom is absolutely devastated and embarrassed about a mistake she made 50 years ago has come back to haunt her.
#45
Sadly, I learned that I am, in fact, actually related to my dumpster fire of a family. I'd always secretly hoped I was adopted...
#46
I told my grandma I did 23 and me. She promptly freaked out and sat my dad and I down and said that she did not birth him, but also did not adopt him. A doctor at the hospital she worked at gave him to her, and she had to keep it a secret or multiple people would've lost their jobs. I'm not sure what I believe at this point.
#47
I was contacted by my FULL OLDER BROTHER two years ago.
My parents gave him up, got married a year later, then had me and my siblings. Mother took the secret to the grave.
I thought I was the oldest all my life - named after my dad. Now I find out I had an older brother all along!
#48
Turns out my father is not my bio father. Apparently my mom’s cousin is my bio father. So my second cousin is now my half-brother/second cousin and my sister is now my half-sister/second cousin. Both my bio parents are considered my first cousins once removed as well.
My dad has known since I was two years old but still chose to raise me. I just found out last year. It was a big family secret that kind of split the family which is especially unfortunate because a lot of people did not know about this situation which means they did not know why the family split. My half-brother still does not know about me.
We also learned that both my grandfathers are not my great-grandfathers bio sons. They still share a dad, but it turns out my great-grandfather met and married my great-grandmother while she was pregnant and decided to raise the two boys as his own. He unfortunately passed away two years ago and it was a complete secret from everyone.
Now there are multiple generations in my family all figuring out how to go about having new siblings and new bio parents.
#49
I was adopted and my kids got me 23andMe for mother's Day a few years back. I found out that my bio mother had seven babies and gave them all up for adoption. And that her father had gone to prison for moonshining, learned how to counterfeit while he was in prison, got out and started doing that and got busted and went back to prison. Actually my bio mother's side of the family is pretty wild and crazy in a lot of ways.
#50
A certain genetic disease runs in my family, and it’s basically a coin flip at birth whether or not it progresses into something fatal as you grow from baby to child. If caught early enough it can be treated, and we have learned (as a family) through a lot of death what the symptoms look like. Basically if anyone under 6 in my family starts having pneumonia symptoms, we immediately test them for this family disease. If they test positive for it, the issues with the heart and lungs can be fixed through surgery. It’s always fatal if it progresses, but treatable if caught early enough.
My uncle fathered a son while deployed in Japan. He had no idea, and we didn’t as well. 45 ish years he did a 23 and me test and connected with my grandma. He only ended up reaching out to us (my mom cause grandma was pretty lost to dementia at this point) because his son was hospitalized with a strange form of pneumonia that wasn’t improving. My mom immediately gave him all the information on the disease, treatment plan, and diagnosis. His son made a full recovery, and he was grateful to my mom. But he doesn’t want anything to do with my family, and is understandable pretty bitter towards my uncle.
EDIT: took a while cause I had to talk to a few family members but the disease is called pleuropulmonary blastoma. It’s genetic (and recessive fortunately) and I could be a carrier but I won’t know unless I get tested for it specifically or have a child that has this cancer. Probably unlikely because non of my siblings, nieces or nephews have the disease.
#51
Ok, found out wife’s great-grandfather married his sister. Changed last name to avoid detection, moved, all that.
#52
I'm a half sibling. Brother and I took one and it showed that we only shared dna from our mother. So the man who raised me for 19 years of my life until they divorced, wasn't even my biological father. I was 29 when I found out. Nothing changed between my siblings and I.
I did confront my mom about it one time. She basically said she was young.
#53
The family wasn’t destroyed but my dad found out he has a 43-year-old daughter he never knew about that was conceived when he was 16, (I was his oldest, I’m 23) and my mom found out her grandad had an illegitimate child there was no record of. Wild.
#54
My family wasn't destroyed, but my Grandpa held the family record for Neanderthal DNA variants and I broke the family record by just a few. I have 1 more than my mom. I just thought I'd share.
Edit: Lots of people are asking. I have 318 variants, my mom has 317, and my grandpa has ~312.
#55
Actually wasn’t destroyed, added an aunt that was older than my grandparents’ relationship so it meant no cheating. I’m just sad that she was never given the opportunity to meet her dad. She is an extremely charitable person and I am excited to meet her at some point.
#56
My story has a rough beginning, but a happy ending. I apologize, this will be a bit lengthy.
I ordered 23andme to try to figure out “what” I was, not to track down any long lost family members. I had known since I was a teenager that my dad who raised me wasn’t my biological father. I used to ask my mom if I was adopted because I don’t look like anyone in my family. My mom is almost 100% Irish and my dad (who raised me, he is and always will be my dad) is also Caucasian and I look a bit ethnically ambiguous. Olive (but fair) skin, dark hair, and green eyes; no one else in my family looked like me. My mom finally told me the truth when i was 16.
When I got my report back, I was mostly European by my breakdown, I was still confused. I had several cousins show up, but contacting them didn’t interest me at all. One day I got a notification that I had new relatives and a half sister popped up. This caught me completely off guard and I didn’t know what to do...because I wanted to contact her. For the first time ever, I wanted to know more. I messaged her, not telling anything about myself, just that if she’d like to know more about me, I would be open with all that I knew. I never got a reply, this kind of broke my heart if I’m being honest, but I accepted that she probably knew nothing of me and that the revelation of my existence may have hurt their family horribly.
A few months later a second cousin popped up and she was shown to be the first cousin of my “half sister,” this confused me even more. Why was she my second cousin and my half sisters first cousin?She contacted me because she thought I may have answers for her, I told her that I had tried to contact my half sister but heard nothing and apologized for not being able to help her. (Her story is oddly similar to mine.) She also told me that she had communicated briefly with her first cousin, but after bringing me up, she cut off contact with her. That made me feel horrible. But through our brief interaction, i realized that the three of us were connected through my “half sisters” maternal blood line. I know my mom is my mom, there’s no question there, so I started thinking, how could this be?..then I realized that my “half sister” was actually my aunt, my biological father’s sister. Half-siblings, aunts and uncles, and grandparents all share 25% of their DNA, all the connections on these websites are based on probability.
I messaged her again and told her that I thought she may be my aunt and I told her more about myself...my birthdate and where I was conceived, and that if she had a brother who was in that area at that time, he was my biological father. She messaged me back in no time. It turns out that my paternal grandfather had passed away years ago and when she got the first message and saw the half sister connection, she assumed her father had a child that none of them knew about. I’m younger than her and her siblings, obviously, so I would have come along after them. She didn’t contact me because she didn’t want to hurt her mother, and I’m sure she was hurt by this too. I understood, completely. She then went on to tell me that they all knew about me but didn’t want to disrupt my life. She said my biological father never forgot about me...I had always thought I was his dirty little secret. (He and my mother were both married to other people when I was conceived..that’s another long story.) Anyways, my husband, children, and I have since met them all. I actually have three half siblings that also knew about me. It was so strange to finally meet people who I resemble. I’m a spitting image of my paternal grandmother when she was young, they were all blown away by that. We stay in contact and I couldn’t be happier that I bought the 23andme kit.
#57
Back when 23andme and DNA testing kits were just getting popular, my dad got one just to see what he was. my mom thought he was gonna use it to prove my mom wasnt biologically my mom so he could get custody of me. My home life was terrible to begin with and that made it hell.
#58
My grand mother found out she was adopted and had two sisters with kids who also.... have kids. Opened some new chapters and closed some too. She is 76 years old.
#59
So, let me preface this by saying that I was adopted in an open adoption, and so have maintained some contact with my bio family my whole life. They're wackos, but you know, good to know in case of health stuff.
So my bio-uncle gets a DNA sequencing thing done last year as a weird sort of Christmas present and let me tell you, if you're racist, at all, this is the sort of thing you should either do to fix your personality real fast or never ever do because you're going to be *upset*.
My birth mom hates All Brown People. This is remarkably stupid because we're part Hawaiian, and in Hawaii, mixed-race relationships were/are SUPER DUPER COMMON. Apparently bio-grandma kept this on the downlow and maintained that we were 'pure Native Hawaiian', and also 'of royal blood'. (No.)
So the results came back, and with mildly comedic predictability, clearly stated that not only were we *not* 'pure Native Hawaiian', we had recent African, South American Native, Japanese, and Korean ancestors, along with Native Hawaiian and Irish (bio-grandpa was Irish and the reason why I look like Moana color-swapped with Belle).
Well. Bio-Mom believes in the One Drop Rule, and was raised in rural white trash Tennessee. (Bio-Grandma was born in Hawaii, married a serviceman, and he got transferred to Tennessee.) The meltdown she had upon finding out that she's about 90% 'inferior genetic material, and not even really Homo sapiens' (I swear, she's a nightmare) was enough to get her dropped in for a 72 hour hold.
Now, I had a kinda rough childhood, since my adoptive mom was an alcoholic, but I only had to deal with a narcissist having an affair with Two Buck Chuck, and not that kind of a [nonsence]. I haven't really talked with any of them since.
#60
My paternal grandmother and her younger sister either aren’t related to their six siblings or someone is a cheater.
#61
I was the first in my family to take it. Found out my uncle had a daughter he never knew about as a result of a brief fling in his twenties. (He wasn't married, didn't walk out, just knocked a girl up and never knew...they met on vacation).
Only told my parents so that my dad could tell his brother.
Uncle pretty much refuses to acknowledge it and is super weird around me now. I told my dad to warn him that a lot of my cousins were super curious about doing a test themselves and it's probably better he let his kids know rather than finding out they have a half sibling after spitting into a tube. (At the time I was encouraging cousins to take it, the long lost cousin in question hadn't reached out to me yet so I didn't know she existed).
I can see now his daughter (my cousin who I grew up with) has taken the test. No idea what's become of it due to me living a few states away, my uncle not really speaking to me and general distance I've created with that side of the family post 2016.
#62
Just happened to my family. Sister had one done, found out she's not Puerto Rican. Dad's from Puerto Rico lol. Still waiting for a fallout.
#63
My husbands family is die hard Italians. I mean their identity is all about their Italian heritage. We are talking salami - olive eating, speaking with hands, shouting, flashy accessory Italians.
23&me revealed they aren’t even 45% when they decided to get everyone the test. Mayhem and tears weeks after the discovery along with a lot of loud phone calls to everyone ensued. Meanwhile, My husband also discovered he is a large part African so logically goes and buys some expensive Jordan’s (being Italian means he must be flashy with everything), Shows up at the in laws and more tears and loud screaming happen in a typical Italian family fashion. (Just imagine 10 people screaming at once- complete mayhem)
The in laws decided 23 is “junk” science and clearly the results are mixed up with another unsuspecting family (all 19 family members results must be wrong) and now they are even more Italian than ever. But they know the truth and we are banished from bringing it up or wearing Jordan’s in their sight.
#64
Not really "destroyed" but definitely some mild aggravation. My dad was born in 1941. HIS dad [passed away] in 1945 at the tail end of WWII, in Italy. His mom was young and took up with another man, leaving Florida, and leaving my dad with her brother and his wife, who raised him. The people I knew as my grandmother and grandfather were biologically his Aunt and Uncle. This was always known as was the fact that his mom later married the man she left with and had three more children (my dad's half siblings). He was sort of close to one, but the other two were kind of "meh" on the idea. In the late 1980's I was going to meet my bio grandmother, with my dad with me, but she insisted at the last minute that she'd have to introduce him as her cousin and the whole thing fell through.
Back to the aggravation... My dad told me ever since I was little that he had an additional sibling from his bio mom that she gave up for adoption. My Dad has tons of family stories and sometimes it's hard to sort thru what it real and what is not, sort of like "Big Fish." Come to find out when Ancestry DNA is finally a thing that lo and behold he DOES have another half sibling that his bio mom gave up for adoption before she had the other three children. This lead to a big family reunion of all five siblings two years ago while my dad was living in a motel from being flooded out from a hurricane, not to mention being 70+ years old. They all came down here and it went well, or so I thought, until I heard that I hadn't done enough to entertain them while they were here, and my dad doesn't call enough and blah blah blah... I finally had to cut contact just for my and my dad's mental health.
TL;DR - My Dad always told me he had a half sibling that was given up for adoption. He was reunited with her 70 years later thru Ancestry DNA. She turned out to be a nutbag.
#65
That I'm actually Jewish and my last name isn't German. My grandparents changed it to sound more German for.....reasons. My dad didn't even know. The second he found out he started connecting with distant relatives and pulled it all together. Even found some documents with our real last name.
#66
My great uncle fathered a child while fighting in the Vietnam War. The kid was one of the operation babylift kids and grew up in Ohio. My dad found him on 23andme, started talking, and he eventually flew out for a little family reunion. Great guy with an amazing life story.
#67
I found out I was a descendant of 41 skeletons found in a burial cave (the Lichtenstein Hole) in Germany dating back 2500 years. Apparently they were either Frisians or Visigoths. They found another descendant less than 5kms from the cave. The descendants of Cheddar Man in the UK have an even older lineage. Seems I always come second.
#68
Husbands ex wife “had a hunch” their daughter (8at time) looked like a highschool friend. On a “whim “she pulled a hair while the girl slept and tested it over winter break. My husband isn’t the father. I had my suspicions but it didn’t change anything he’s always been her dad. The mom had the bio dad write a threatening letter saying we better give the girl to him ( a total stranger to her )
We ignored and waited for a letter from a court… never came. He has zero interest it turns out. Mom knew all along and is a piece of human [trash].
#69
That my Mom's Dad (my Grandpa) wasn't her bio Dad. She had no idea either and found out at 74 that the man who raised her wasn't her biogical Father.
#70
My dad found his real dad on accident with ancestry.com. He had tried for years, previously with private investigators and all. It's actually a super cool story and it changed our entire family's lives.
My Dad was dropped off at an orphanage when he was 3 months old. No trace of birth mother. He was later adopted at age 4 by a married couple. All was fine for 9 years till the adopted mother [passed away] in a car accident and the adopted father turned in to a raging abusive alcoholic. He went on to have a terrible childhood and was impoverished when his abusive father was in and out of jobs. My dad joined the army at 18 and GTFO there. He used the GI Bill to get a business degree and met my mom in college to provide a great, healthy childhood for me and my siblings.
He never knew a thing about his birth parents. There was no paper trail, nothing. He tried for years to search because other than the abusive adopted father he had absolutely no family. Anyway, my parents gave up trying to search a decade back or so, until my brother got him the ancestry DNA kit thing. My Dad did it just expecting to see that he was 60% European and 40% other white people s**t. However, there was a feature that displayed potential relatives. He saw one marked as a potential half brother. Through a long process of contacting and reassuring we weren't scammers, we talked this guy who ended up being my dad's half brother, sharing a common father. He led us to my dad's biological dad.
This was awesome as the bio-father was very receptive to the idea ( he never knew he had a kid that was given up for adoption). We ended up traveling to meet him and it was awesome and lovey-dovey. Changed my father completely. He now has a father that loves him and cares for him and some siblings as well.
So the mother: this was a pain. The bio-dad had no idea who she could be cause he basically banged a bunch of chicks before he left for Viet Nam and it could have been any of them. Looooong process later we found the mother too, but she was not at all receptive to the idea. She had never told a soul about having my dad, hadn't even told her husband and other kids. So she was really hush hush.
#71
My high school best friend is my first cousin. His grandma gave my dad up for adoption when she was young. The very cool thing is that I had actually met his (my?) grandma before she [passed], and I’ll always treasure that.
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What do you think ?
Unicorn 4 hours ago
Well, we know from other threads that marital infidelity is the norm in the USA, so few surprises. But when are people going to learn that the "ethnicity" results are just guesswork?
Lady Eowyn 37 minutes ago
It's not the norm. It's just the ones that get publicized.
Load More Replies... Unicorn 4 hours ago
Well, we know from other threads that marital infidelity is the norm in the USA, so few surprises. But when are people going to learn that the "ethnicity" results are just guesswork?
Lady Eowyn 37 minutes ago
It's not the norm. It's just the ones that get publicized.
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