ADVERTISEMENT

Tired of the hogwash that inspirational quotes try to feed you? Sickened by motivational quotes’ mushy tone? Well then, you are absolutely not alone! For we, too, would rather twist an ankle than read another excerpt like that. Thus, we shall join our forces and our prowess for the unconventional and find the most comfortable middle ground in these Demotivational quotes of which we’ve gathered loads, and each of them is as good a mockery as any! 

So, what should you expect from these demotivational quotes? Will they take your life force away from you with their contemptuous words? Or maybe they will rip all the joy out of your breath? Well, neither! What these non-quotes about life will do is make you laugh in that very ironic way where your face makes a sneer and embers of amusement start to dance in your eyes. By and large, though, these snarky quotes are actually inspiration masked in a ghillie suit of ornery words that should be read as irony. But you, of course, already know that and will read these silly quotes as a source of entertainment, rather than wishing to actually bring yourself down.

However, we should probably stop wasting our precious time with this gabble and skip straight to the real deal here - our wonderful, mesmerizing, and truly glorious selection of demotivational quotes. They are, as you might know very well by now, just an iota down below. Once you are there, do not forget to give these cool quotes your vote and share this article with your like-minded snarky friends. 

#1

Well, that explains a lot

“Everything happens for a reason. Sometimes the reason is you're stupid and make bad decisions.” - Marion G. Harmon

Report

The Starsong Princess
Community Member
3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My BIL is a defense attorney and he says 95% of crime is attributable to drunk and stupid.

Rod Egret
Community Member
3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I would say "often" instead of "sometimes".

Blarrg
Community Member
3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This quote has been hanging in my office for years.

View more comments
RELATED:
    #2

    Motivation Doesn’t Always Win

    “Every dead body on Mt. Everest was once a highly motivated person, so… maybe calm down.”

    Report

    The Panarchist (He/They)
    Community Member
    3 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    So what you’re saying is maybe I shouldn’t spend all my college savings on a trip to Mount Everest?

    Metallicd3ath
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Maybe not, especially if they're "college savings" and not "Mt. Everest savings"

    Load More Replies...
    Kona Pake
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Some had too much money and the wrong motivation with no experience!

    Raimei Ai
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I told this to my brother a few years back. His response was "Climbing Everest was fun, you shouldn't try. You would just become a statistic." XD

    Malcolm Dobson
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    your brother's 'just a statistic' too - just one of many thousands who've climbed Everest, one in a long shuffling queue to reach the top. People who climb it for 'fun' should stop. Everest doesn't need them, or the rubbish they leave behind.

    Load More Replies...
    Gladys Hayes Southerland
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Maybe do that after you retire. That way, if you fall off, you'll have lived your life. Well, most of it.

    J J
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Ambition is a very dangerous trait for one to have....

    Chris Zaydel
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Absolutely nothing wrong with being highly motivated.

    Sa Ruuu
    Community Member
    3 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I guess you're missing the point that some of those highly motivated climbers are dead?

    Load More Replies...
    backatya
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    so maybe don't make bad decisions and stop climbing dangerous mountains

    Marilyn Russell
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    People need to just stop and leave the poor, previously pristine mountain alone.

    Richard Black
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Accept your situation. Theres more dignity in it. (No country for old men)

    View more comments
    #3

    Bright ideas, loud surprises

    “Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.” - Alan Dundes

    Report

    Nathaniel
    Community Member
    3 years ago

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    Trump appears bright because every day he gets freshly painted with Ronseal fence protector.

    Clara Rotti
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Why is Trump’s hair always a different color? It’s always the same style, like a dead squirrel on his head, but the color varies. It is sometimes gray, sometimes yellow blond, sometimes light gray, sometimes light brown and sometimes a light red color. I don’t get it. Also, his skin is the color of this waterproofing wood stain/seal I used on my picnic table. I am really confused on the hair color thing and I have been for years now. I can’t be the only person who sees this, because everyone talks about his orange skin but nobody ever mentions his ever changing hair colors.

    Load More Replies...
    jmdirks
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Biden just never appears bright....ever!

    Adrian
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Which is a great reason to ban sunglasses at Trump's rallies.

    Gladys Hayes Southerland
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    He is bright orange. Or do rich ppl get apass on brains? After you make so much money, you're allowed to lose your mind?

    View more comments
    ADVERTISEMENT
    #4

    Love you, but also fix yourself

    “Just because we accept you as you are doesn’t mean we’ve abandoned hope you’ll improve.”

    Report

    Eat Dirt Crow
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This one is quite inspirational. I'll have to remember this one.

    Terry Tobias
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I say this every day to my dog and cats. The dog listens but promptly forgets... my cats don't even listen.

    Connie May
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    thats a narcissist's perfect sideways inspirational comment.

    Kristal
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    And this is what the body positivity I'd all about for larger people, accept and try to get/maintain being healthy.

    Put Sully
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Thank you for accepting me as I am, including my hopes to become a better self 😘

    Richard Black
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    You must be more like us to be better liked?

    #5

    When Stupidity Goes Social

    “Idiocy – never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.”

    Report

    Christina Keenan
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The movie "Idiocracy" has come true

    Brandon Marlowe
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I thought it was a comedy back when it came out. Now I realize it was a strangely prophetic documentary.

    Load More Replies...
    Sarah Basson
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    MAGA. Seriously, I live in a developing country and nobody here can believe that millions of people who are the products of a first world education system can believe Trump, vote for Trump and think it's a good thing that he tried to organize a coup ...

    Diana Pahule
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Americans don't actually get a first world education in many parts because too much is left to the individual communities.

    Load More Replies...
    Jon Steensen
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That is exactly what Trump understoot so well and exploited to hack the US.

    Steve Fischer
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Here it's called the Republican Party

    Anjelika
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Stupid people in large groups are scary

    Josie Sangione
    Community Member
    3 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Witness the 2020 election and who in office... Ding ding ding!

    J Bee
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    And the party that staged a coup and still crying about the results still to this day

    Load More Replies...
    Stew Leckie
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    And yet somehow, we manage to put these kind of people into government every year.

    View more comments
    ADVERTISEMENT
    #6

    Tomorrow’s plot twist, guaranteed

    “If life doesn’t break you today, don’t worry. It will try again tomorrow.”

    Report

    Maj L
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Tomorrow, tomorrow, I love ya, tomorrow, you're only a day away!

    Immortal Emperor Paradox
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Unfortunately it's gonna be disappointed once again tomorrow.

    Mtg Wolfie
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Oh. Trust me. I know. Within 2 weeks, my grandpa got a cancer diagnosis (his 3rd, this one stage 4), my MIL died, my great grandma died, my wife and I lost our daughter, I rolled my 4runner, our other car got repo'd, and my best friend died in my arms. Oh, and I was working 16 hour overnight shifts at the time (though that lasted for a month and a half. The rest was within 2 weeks of that 6 weeks).

    Aaron S
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Someone could make a fortune selling these quotes in fortune cookies.

    Richard DiPippo
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Whatever doesn’t kill you makes you stronger…or horribly maims you.

    View more comments
    #7

    This Math Just Isn’t Adding Up

    “People who say they’ll give 110% don’t understand how percentages work.”

    Report

    Raven DeathShade
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "Engines are working at 110 percent, which is a little weird, but a bit of overkill never killed anybody." (If you get this quote, you get a cookie. A digital one, clearly. I don't know where you live).

    Anna Banana
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    People who say things like that don't understand how a hyperbole works. Language is more than a utilitarian tool to get one's point across in the most practical way possible.

    Paul Davis
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Giving 110% is working yourself to death then willing your property to the company. Now that's the ethic your bosses are looking for!

    Channo Sagara
    Community Member
    3 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Nah. I'm super demotivated, it took 150% of me just to wake up in the morning. Seriously, i have to literally drag myself just to get off the bed, i definitely surpassed my own limits everyday just to brush my teeth, me got to work everyday should be considered a miracle. It took all of my strength and willpower, I'm basically arrived at the office exhausted and barely alive. I know how percentages works, and i will fight anyone who dare to say that I didn't surpass my limits every single godam day.

    Michelle Horn
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yeah, I don't use this phrase, but it could actually work. Suppose 100% is what's expected of them but they're going to go beyond your expectations. Or, 100% is what they're comfortable with and they are going to push outside their comfort zone.

    James Pasquini
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    No matter how much people think someone has gone beyond what was expected, the person still probably hasn't given their 100%... but you probably placed them on a higher pedestal than your own expectations. Those peoples' "comfort zone" is actually less than 100%. Anything over that is just higher than their comfort zone, but cannot go over 100%. If it were possible to give more than 100% of one's self, everyone would be super-human and there wouldn't be any of today's problems still hanging around.

    Load More Replies...
    Jeremy Bell
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    And here was I thinking that you had to stop at 100!

    Sue Hazlewood
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    You'd be amazed at how many try to justify it too.

    Steve Fischer
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Remember the story of the balloon that gave 101% effort? He blew up trying

    BasedWang12
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My grade school math teacher "YOU WILL DIEEEEEEEE"

    View more comments
    ADVERTISEMENT
    #8

    Big Starts, Bigger Oops

    “A thousand-mile journey starts with one step. Then again, so does falling in a ditch and breaking your neck.”

    Report

    Jaime Loren
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Best be careful where you step. You know.. like in Indiana Jones.

    Isabel Care
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Chronically ill person every day. You never know which it will be until too late

    Oliver Nelson
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Or walking your dog, breaking your ankle, needed surgery, and not being able to walk for months.

    Richard Black
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Does this help explain why there are so many school dropouts?

    Jeff Bunn
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    So that’s why I’m disabled!!

    Jeremy Bell
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Which really doesn't happen that often!

    Kristina Hall
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    🤣 oh my god I'm now gonna say that next time someone tries to say that!

    View more comments
    #9

    Holding Out Hope for Space

    “Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe.” - Albert Einstein

    Report

    Laura Brown
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Humans will forever assert their right to be stupid

    Nick Triantafyllidis
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Einstein never said that. The fact that this myth keeps getting perpetuated kinda proves the point.

    Suzanne Clark
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The difference between genius and stupidity: Genius has limits.

    Mer Mellow
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My respect for Thanos grows every day ngl

    Potato
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The problem is that you can't control who gets snapped, so you might end up getting rid of the few intelligent beings that do exist

    Load More Replies...
    malenchki
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This sounds like a quote from a book l love. "only two things are infinite. The universe and the greed of men."

    Christine Jemison
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This is why I love Albert Einstein😂

    View more comments
    ADVERTISEMENT
    #10

    Disappointments You’ll Actually Want

    “If you never try anything new, you’ll miss out on many of life’s great disappointments”

    Report

    LagoonaBlueColleen
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This is the mentality my mom has. Whereas I love trying new things.

    Creative Mind
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    True but then you'd be disappointing yourself and the ones you love. That seems like the greatest disappointment in life.

    Richard Black
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Sadly, avoiding disappointment seems to be the goal of some people . .

    Doug Farrell
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I’ve been a disappointment all my life.

    Donna Lambert
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Well, yeah... But you'll have a good story!

    Kathleen Diesman
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I've benefited experiencing many great ones. Is that bragging?

    Amy Stone-Chandler
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yeah but you will also never know what you enjoy or what your good at!

    William C Smith
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Some of my greatest days started with, "Hmm, I wonder...."

    View more comments
    ADVERTISEMENT
    #11

    When Persistence Turns Stubborn

    “If at first, you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. No use being a damn fool about it.” - W.C. Fields

    Report

    Eat Dirt Crow
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    If at first you don't succeed, maybe skydiving isn't for you

    Mistralok
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "I'm free of all prejudices. I hate all people equally." -WC Fields-

    Izzy Curer
    Community Member
    3 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I say try, but if something doesn't work three times, that's the universe saying 'no'

    Gladys Hayes Southerland
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Had a client who was court-ordered to see me after 39 arrests for Breaking & Entering. I asked him how many B&E's he had done in all-"39." And got caught every time. Advised him to get another line of work

    Wondering Alice
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I love this - it's so much easier to understand than the long winded version I have been using for years. I'm profoundly dyslexic and now work with children with learning and or cognitive difficulties. Seems like the majority of my colleagues have said about a child at some point something along the lines that they understand the barriers to learning, but the fact the kid is lazy and doesn't try is the root of the problem. I usually then launch in to a long speech with examples, statistics and metaphors which only really result in that teacher not sharing the opinion with me again. From now on I'm just going to say this. After all I'm not succeeding in changing opinions, I too am a fool for wasting time on it

    Tamra Stiffler
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    You're the furthest thing from a fool. You sound like an incredible advocate for kids, and the world needs more of you. I can totally understand being burned out trying to explain these things when it seems to fall on deaf ears, but you never know when you've changed a mind or planted a seed.

    Load More Replies...
    Emmett O'Brian
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Well kids, you tried your best and failed miserably. The moral is... Never try

    Metallicd3ath
    Community Member
    3 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    -Homer J. Simpson. (I was recently reinformed of that one.)

    Load More Replies...
    LagoonaBlueColleen
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    If you're that determined never give up.

    TAPAN KUMAR SUR
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Motivate, de-motivate may be like a coin, having 2 sides, one side absent, the coin will go to the dust-bin. Life teaches us everything, in the end we choose the path we walk, whether it was bumpy or smooth, time takes charge. There is nothing good or bad in this universe, everything is like an event destined to take place as it has, so until then we must only enjoy life as it presents us.

    View more comments
    #12

    Well, That Went Dark Fast

    “It could be that your purpose in life is to serve as a warning to others.” - Ashleigh Brilliant

    Report

    Leodavinci
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Now... if only most people heeded any kind of warnings.

    Edgar Rops
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My greatest fear and source of anxiety

    James Lin
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Jimmy Buffett "We are the people your parents warned you about!"

    Kathleen Diesman
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That's what my younger sister told me. She said mom told her to watch h me and then do the opposite.

    Agentblackbetty
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Nothing like being used as a bad example. LoL

    Pollywog
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Some people are teachers others are the lessons.

    View more comments
    #13

    Plot twist: same old start

    “Today is the first day of the rest of your life. But so was yesterday, and look how that turned out.”

    Report

    Ansi
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This is acctually inspiring for my procrastination. Tomorrow will NOT be a better day to do things. It's just like today. So you might as well do it today instead of tomorrow or after the weekend. I will NOT get some magical inspiration after the weekend, it wont be a better day. Just the same. So better do it today.

    Gladys Hayes Southerland
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Can you imagine animals procrastinating? The geese would never make it South; the salmon would never spawn; squirrels would starve in the winter; and more!

    View more comments
    ADVERTISEMENT
    ADVERTISEMENT
    #14

    Uniquely Pointless, Anyone?

    “Just because you are unique doesn't mean you are useful.”

    Report

    Zophra
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I really like this one.

    Samantha Bunce
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I thought it was going to say they meet at the unemployment line

    Load More Replies...
    B S
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    this one dovetails w my fave; "if you have to MAKE yourself seem interesting, you're not."

    Rob Eman
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Though a pianist with six fingers on each hand...

    Siren Nightshade
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I saw this on a picture of a bunch of forks once. One of the forks was bent all out of shape.

    Steven C
    Community Member
    3 years ago

    This comment has been deleted.

    View more comments
    #15

    Work sucks? Welcome to the club.

    “Oh, you hate your job? Why didn’t you say so? There’s a support group for that. It’s called EVERYBODY, and they meet at the bar.” – Drew Carey

    Report

    Adam L
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I just want to go to a place where everybody knows my name...

    JinxBox
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    These just make me sad. Go start doing what you love, seriously, if you can't do it yet go study more (in another country maybe if it's made too expensive in yours?) I waited patiently unemployed and studying until I now LoVe my job, it was totally worth waiting for and I couldn't have reached it if I'd taken just any job for the money. Work to enjoy your one life, not to make money and be accepted by society

    Brandon USMC
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This was George Carlin, not Drew Carey

    Mtg Wolfie
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Not entirely true. I love my jobs. Husband and Dom, father, writer, leatherworker, freelance photographer. Its a busy life, but one I wouldn't trade for the world.

    Cory Tollman
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Wasn't there an additional element to the quote? "There's a support group. We meet at the bar".

    Essex Eagle
    Community Member
    3 years ago

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    Few people do jobs they like and are paid well for it...are you listening all you winey millennials

    Potato
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Millennials are in their 30s, hun. We've known this for over a decade. Some of us have known it for 2 decades. But since we’re over-generalizing, thanks for ruining the workforce, boomer!

    Load More Replies...
    View more comments
    #16

    Leveling the Hate Game

    “I am free of all prejudice. I hate everyone equally.” - W.C. Fields

    Report

    iseefractalz
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I prefer "i don't discriminate, i hate everyone equally"

    Potato
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I like this one better. Because being prejudiced means you judge someone before you meet them, so if you hate someone you haven't met then you really are being prejudiced.

    Load More Replies...
    Ivan Petrov
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    W. C. Fields - weird name for a cat.

    Jo L.
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Oh man, adding this to my shortlist of great cat names right now. You're a genius.

    Load More Replies...
    Donna Lambert
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I definitely have days like this!

    Kathleen Diesman
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My husband when discussing his political judgements

    Agentblackbetty
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That's exactly how I got out of jury duty forever at 18 years old. 🤣🤣😂😂

    survivalrhino
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My old Drill Instructor said this daily

    View more comments
    ADVERTISEMENT
    #17

    Uniquely Basic, Haven’t You Heard?

    “Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else.” - Margaret Mead

    Report

    Nathaniel
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "You’re ALL individuals!"

    Eat Dirt Crow
    Community Member
    3 years ago

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    Just because you're unique doesn't mean you're useful.

    Creative Mind
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Unique is cool but I wanna be different so I'm gonna be basic🤣

    Joanna Jamil
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    A quote I've preached to my kids since they were little & backed it up with, "so then treat everyone as individuals."

    Bayou Billy
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I use this constantly one of my faves. They brighten as you say the first part then face fall for the second. So fun.

    Richard Black
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Thats the the communist manifesto, in a nutshell. Nothing special about any of us.

    J J
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    We are the Borg. You biological and technological distinctiveness will be added to our own. Resistance is futile.

    SCamp
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Actually, this reinforces the notion that everyone IS unique 😊

    View more comments
    ADVERTISEMENT
    #18

    Peak productivity, or just chaos?

    “Multitasking – the art of doing twice as much as you should half as well as you could.”

    Report

    A Jones
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    And only being paid the amount for one task during the same time period.

    Red
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Ron Swanson's words echo in my mind whenever I try to do many things at once: "Never half-ass two things, whole-ass one thing."

    Richard Black
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Or, as it was previously known, a "renaissance man". Just look what leonardo da vinca might have achieved if hed focused on one thing . .

    MommyM
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Multitasking - the art of being a woman.

    Laura Brown
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    All while being underappreciated and underpaid

    Bille Aas Thomas
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    so is running over children while being in drift race multitasking

    Damiean McClain
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Not necessarily true, if you need a break from something you can work on something else then go back

    Jane Alexander
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    There are two kinds; those who know that they don't multitask and those who don't.

    Andrew Bridge
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I always called it the art of f*****g up two things at once

    View more comments
    #19

    Galactic Oops Everyone’s Still Talking About

    “The story so far: In the beginning, the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move.” - Douglas Adams

    Report

    Mistralok
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    “A learning experience is one of those things that says, 'You know that thing you just did? Don't do that.” -DA-

    Evelyn Ann
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Every time i reread it i find more tidbits of brilliance and something i didn't catch before. Another favorite is from The Long Dark Teatime of the Soul. "A life that is burdened with expectations is a heavy life. Its fruit is sorrow and disappointment."

    Adam L
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This just in, pissed off people have started a class-action lawsuit against the Universe for creating itself. Their main argument is that they never asked for this....

    Kona Pake
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Now you see… that’s the problem, PEOPLE!

    Load More Replies...
    Adam Zad
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Even by the people with digital watches?

    Steve Fischer
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    God created Adam and Eve knowing they were going to eat the apple. WTF is that all about?

    Potato
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Social experiment! Let's taunt them with fruit and tell them they can't have it. Gabriel, get the popcorn ready.

    Load More Replies...
    Bille Aas Thomas
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    `my skin is white but i enjoy saying the n word to monkeys

    Celtic Pirate Queen
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Hahaha! "Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy". F**k yeah! Meet you all at Milliways!

    Bayou Billy
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Douglas and Carl have the best quotes.

    View more comments
    ADVERTISEMENT
    #20

    Cold truth nobody admits

    “Life is pain. Anyone who says otherwise is selling something.” – William Goldman

    Report

    Sydney-Kate
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    If you love the movie, READ THE BOOK! I had to read it for school and it was the only book I’ve ever actually wanted to read

    Garrett OBrien
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I wanted to read the unabridged book, searched everywhere and the only one I find was "The Good Parts" so I settled for that. After reading a bit, then I understood.

    Load More Replies...
    Angie Chiyoko
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    OMG!!! YASSS THE PRINCESS BRIDE!!!! I loved that movie soooo much. The book was okay but soooooooooooooooooooooo long.

    Wintermute
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Thank you for crediting the author and not the character.

    LagoonaBlueColleen
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "OH NO! You're life just doesn't want to do what you want it to do. Introducing The Life Picker Upper."

    Phoenix
    Community Member
    3 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    But wait! There's more! Buy now and get it shipped, FREE!!!!

    Load More Replies...
    Bille Aas Thomas
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    i sell my farts in jar special deal now buy 1 for the price of 2 and get a extra one

    Tim Stewart
    Community Member
    3 years ago

    This comment has been deleted.

    Reviewer UK01
    Community Member
    3 years ago

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    And the ones who agree life is pain are probably trying to sell you a snake oil cure for your pain

    Leodavinci
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yep. Everything being sold is something to alleviate some kind of pain. Whether or not it's "snake oil" depends on if it works. When I say everything... I mean EVERY THING. There isn't anything that isn't "old". Pastors sell religion. Union leaders sell unionism. Politicians sell... themselves. Every thing is "sold", it's just that many (most?) things aren't paid for with money.

    Load More Replies...
    View more comments
    #21

    God’s sense of humor is expensive

    “If you want to know what God thinks of money, just look at the people he gave it to.” - Dorothy Parker

    Report

    David Butler
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Point made, mic drop, dab out.

    Richard Black
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Is this the same god who condemned me for Eve's original sin? And promotes slavery in his bible? I'm just asking?? . . .

    Kimberly
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    So, he makes shitty people's lives easier? That's lame.

    Bryan With a Why
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Wtf you talking about, God doesn't give anyone money lol. And roughly 6 billion people possess one form or another of money, so...

    Kona Pake
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Is that a joke, a pun or what?

    Robyn Bowns
    Community Member
    3 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    A stinging observation. Edit: Although I do hear a rim shot in my head when I read it.

    Load More Replies...
    View more comments
    ADVERTISEMENT
    #22

    Peak Life Hack Energy

    “When life knocks you down, stay there and take a nap.”

    Report

    Laura Brown
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Sounds good to me...I love naps

    Potato
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I live here now, the rent is pretty cheap and there's a nice butt-shaped indent

    Megan Jarrett
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That's my husband... Always looking for an excuse to take a nap,

    Pollywog
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Fantastic!! No point wasting extra energy!!

    Richard Black
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Because nobody ever got ahead by trying . .

    J J
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "yay sleep! That's where I'm a viking!"

    View more comments
    #23

    Catchy enough to cry over

    “Nothing says ‘you’re a loser’ more than owning a motivational poster about being a winner.”

    Report

    Leodavinci
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This sounds a lot like body shaming an overweight person at a gym. Wouldn't a "loser", by definition, be someone who most needs motivation?

    Kona Pake
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Or burning donuts in an intersection or blasting the whole neighborhood with your stereo.

    Potato
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    For a second I pictured someone holding a donut (pastry) over an open flame in the middle of a busy street and was very confused. But yes, probably not a winner unless it involves s’mores.

    Load More Replies...
    Terry Tobias
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Even the cats do it better than me.

    Kittycat
    Community Member
    11 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Every elementary school looking at this: 👀

    Josie Sangione
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I hate those cheap posters hanging up as "art".

    Cathpoop
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My cat poster that says "hang in there" begs to differ.

    View more comments
    ADVERTISEMENT
    #24

    Failure Doesn’t Always Teach You

    “Not everything is a lesson. Sometimes you just fail.” - Dwight Schrute

    Report

    Mer Mellow
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    one sec.. let me show this to my teacher...

    Lucca Wenner
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yep, this happens (a teacher here). It is OK to fail. You will not succeed at everything in life. But never give up finding what you can be successful in....c**p, time to take my own advice.

    Load More Replies...
    James Gunter
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Reminds me of something Capt. Picard said (I can't remember the exact phrase, but this is close): "Sometimes you can do everything right and still lose. That's not failure. That's life."

    Heather Vandegrift
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "It is possible to make no mistakes and still lose" - Jean Luc Picard

    Leodavinci
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    They are not lessons... only if one fails to learn anything from them. Learning does not mean not failing.

    Bille Aas Thomas
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    my stepsister called me attractive my mother called me a faliure my dad said english or spanish

    RawPapaya
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    And you learn still, whether or not to repeat it. Sometimes not doing it again is wise.

    Gladys Hayes Southerland
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    A few of us have to go round a time or two. Speed reading & missed some important details. If nothing else, you learn that you do not like _________ & that's a good lesson.

    Siren Nightshade
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "You can do everything right and still lose. That's not a failing." - Jean-Luc Picard

    View more comments
    #25

    When Fate Doesn’t Take Your Order

    “Fate is like a strange, unpopular restaurant filled with odd little waiters who bring you things you never asked for and don't always like.” - Lemony Snicket

    Report

    -mafīafrog-
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This is my new favorite quote

    Kona Pake
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Problem is when they ask you to pay for it.

    Donna Lambert
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm writing this down...Lemony... The name always makes me think about pie....

    Kayla
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    And Larry, your waiter, declined the refund and gave you a peppermint as apology. Did you get the joke?

    Bille Aas Thomas
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    i hate this this monstorsty is bad my father abonded me as child now i date my mother inspiring story i learned from uncle

    Richard Black
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    And people wonder why restaurant waitstaff feel underpaid and abused. .

    Summer Mason
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This is also the summery of small children.

    View more comments
    ADVERTISEMENT
    #26

    Congrats, but where’s the love?

    “The worst part of success is trying to find someone who is happy for you.” - Bette Midler

    Report

    LagoonaBlueColleen
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That is true, ain't it. ... I'm gonna start being proud of those who deserve success.

    Aura
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    When you celebrate the success of others the world feels like a better place and ultimately becomes a better place. Plus you get to party a lot more.

    It's Me
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I read this right after I realized Elon Musk is so lonely at that top that he’s trying desperately to make himself seem just like everyone else. Oh no, boyo. You must experience your exposure and deal with it.

    D. Pitbull
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Too. True. If something truly awesome happens... or you do something that is pretty cool... don't expect people to be happy for you. My experience? The better something is ... the more cynical/bitter/sour grapes "Meh" the general reaction. So... I crocheted a simple afghan square? Great awesome! So much support! YAAAY! BUT...... I figured out from scratch a pattern for a particular cartoon character, made it and even added wire armature? "Oh. Nice." with a little heart reaction. Uh huh.

    Laura Capshaw
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It's me, Bette. I'M happy for you!

    Agentblackbetty
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I have always loved celebrating other people's successes, and being there in tough times as well.

    Firouzeh Sadat Nafe
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    this is inspirational for me actually. i like seeing people mad and jealous.

    Andie Day
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yeah, like that would keep me awake at night!

    View more comments
    ADVERTISEMENT
    #27

    Built to Break But Never Built Up

    “Your life can’t fall apart if you never had it together.”

    Report

    Laura Brown
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Pretending I have it all together is exhausting, so I don't do that...🤪🤪

    Heather Taylor
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Ha! We're one step ahead of the game then! 😉

    Load More Replies...
    ThatSunniChick
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I had it together once. Then I forgot where I put it.

    Phoenix
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Let's be honest, we act like we got it all together, but we don't.

    Adam Zad
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I've given up on trying to get ahead so I can concentrate on slowing the rate at which I'm falling behind.

    Sandy Farley
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This is what we "Boomers" used to call a "Cruelty joke."

    Bille Aas Thomas
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    80 year old step mother of children living in the west side of ohio

    Load More Replies...
    Laura Freedman
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I had it all together, forgot where I put it

    View more comments
    #28

    Work in Progress Forever

    “The road to success is always under construction.” – Lily Tomlin

    Report

    Robyn Bowns
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I love Lily Tomlin. As a kid I saw reruns of laugh in. She has always been a smart kind of funny. And boy is she.

    Adrian
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    And there's no street directory.

    Steve Fischer
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    And even a day of progress must have it's coffee breaks.

    Dawn Marie
    Community Member
    Premium
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    And stupid people

    Bille Aas Thomas
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    nah i use my plane hit some towers tho

    Jaime Loren
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The construction, you take part. When you look back, the distance you've been able to travel is the success.

    View more comments
    #29

    The struggle of doing nothing

    “Doing nothing is very hard to do… you never know when you’re finished.”

    Report

    J
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Wow - this is a good one.

    D. Pitbull
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It's when the anxiety attacks start.

    Garrett Spears
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That was Leslie Nielsen who said that.

    Irene McIver
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That's OK - you can always get back to it later.

    ADVERTISEMENT
    #30

    When “Good Job” Means Overtime

    “The reward for good work is more work”. – Francesca Elisia

    Report

    Jodie Sz
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My momma told me this one years ago, it's so true. She also told me, the only people not making mistakes are people who aren't doing anything.

    Darian Starfrog
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    So true! If you start your job with high performance, you are expected to keep it up forever, meanwhile those who spend the day doing nothing but talk, are never asked to do anything, and most likely will become your supervisor soon..

    Richard Black
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Thats also the reward for faikure . .

    J J
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "No good turn goes unpunished" as they say

    Bille Aas Thomas
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    unpaid children work factorys are my favoirte business

    Dawnieangel76
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I call it the curse of competency.

    View more comments
    ADVERTISEMENT
    #31

    Asking Level: Expertly Clueless

    “There are no stupid questions, but there are a LOT of inquisitive idiots.”

    Report

    Tigre_86
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm far from an idiot, I just wanna do it right. So yeah I ask a lot of questions.

    Potato
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'd prefer the stupid questions over someone who just guesses

    Load More Replies...
    Wondering Alice
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Who said there are no stupid questions? Let's be honest, I can't be the only one who spends much of my day answering stupid questions. Recent favourite 'what colour is your green blanket?" - spoiler, it's green.

    Bille Aas Thomas
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    i poop so good you feel my password is 051178

    survivalrhino
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    There are a LOT of stupid questions-- sit in on some management meetings

    Richard Black
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm too important tto help you with your problem. Or you're too unimportant?

    Heather Vandegrift
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The only stupid question is the one you didn't ask that could have made you less ignorant or helped you succeed

    Jon Steensen
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    There are indeed stupid questions. That is especially true for those where you could have answered it yourself if you just took a moment to reflect. That will e.g. be particularly true if the question itself contains the answer, e.g. what colour is a blue whale, or what gas is used in a hot air balloon?

    View more comments
    #32

    Bold Moves, Bigger Cringe

    “Go ahead and take risks – it gives the rest of us something to laugh at.”

    Report

    J J
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Would the internet have ever become more than a porno distribution system without epic fails from ppl trying too hard? (Those two certainly overlap at times). I'll hold that beer, and film

    Load More Replies...
    Megan Jarrett
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Anytime somebody says hold my beer then sit down with your video and wait... You won't be disappointed.

    Richard Black
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    So many people are satisfied with watching life, instead of living it . .

    Bille Aas Thomas
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    hold my private part i dont belive that mate

    Colter Friesen
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I want to watch the scum of the world struggle to climb up the hill of betterment, only to repeatedly trip and tumble down to the fiery pit of failure - alastor

    Raimei Ai
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Jeeze. I've been marathoning idiot drivers all day...makes me glad I don't drive....tho I've been hit so many times as a pedestrian I've lost track... XD

    #33

    Low-Key Weasels Win

    “Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.” - John Benfield

    Report

    Christopher Seaton
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The early bird may get the worm, but it's the second mouse that gets the cheese

    Nicole Weymann
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I read the quote was from Steven Wright...?

    Eat Dirt Crow
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "Don't believe all the sources of quotes on the internet" -Abraham Lincoln

    Load More Replies...
    Christy G.
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The early bird gets the worm, but the 2nd mouse gets the cheese!

    Hybrid_Hydra
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This is my favorite quote ever.

    Damiean McClain
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    You don’t always have to reach for the stars, it’s not always but beautiful up there, it’s better for you to do what you enjoy

    Jeff Bunn
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    No wonder Trump never gets into any serious trouble (other than 6 bankruptcies, that is)!!

    Jeff Bunn
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    No wonder Trump never seems to get into serious trouble (other than 6 bankruptcies, that is)!!

    Dan St John
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    They do if you throw them high enough.

    View more comments
    ADVERTISEMENT
    #34

    Not Buying Any Lemonade Today

    “Raise your hand if you have had quite enough unsolicited advice about what should be done with any lemons that life may or may not give you.”

    Report

    Eat Dirt Crow
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Unless life gives you water and sugar, that's going to be some crappy lemonade.

    Cuppa tea?
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Personal experience. Put them in freezer. That you can throw rock solid hard lemons at people.

    Auntriarch
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    And they will cool your gin and tonic a treat

    Load More Replies...
    Emmett O'Brian
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    When life gives you lemons, BURN LIFE'S HOUSE DOWN!

    John Hopper
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Tequila, man, tequila... Then burn whatever... It doesn't matter in the moment.

    Load More Replies...
    NsG
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    When life gives you lemons complain about the lemons (paraphrased from Dr Draken to Kim Possible (and I'm probably showing my age just knowing that *and* being able to quote it!))

    Jaime Loren
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I love that show! Wow.. (you can't be that old, I'm 27)

    Load More Replies...
    Manu
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Here's one for Spanish speakers: si del cielo te caen huevos, aprende a hacer huevonadas

    Potato
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    If eggs fall from the sky, learn to make stupid?

    Load More Replies...
    AdL (she)
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Unless accompanied by salt and tequila I have no interest in anyones lemons of life

    Wondering Alice
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    When life gives you lemons, pop them in your bra. Big boobed women get more perks

    View more comments
    ADVERTISEMENT
    #35

    And they’re already 10 steps ahead

    “There’s always someone on Youtube that can do it better than you.”

    Report

    LagoonaBlueColleen
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    There's always someone who can do it better, and someone who can do it worse.

    JustAPanda
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    There is always a bigger fish in the ocean

    Load More Replies...
    Jackie B
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Finding the right amount of failure is where true entertainment lies.

    Aura
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    And now, because of YouTube, I have the opportunity to learn from them!

    Marco Conti
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That was true before YouTube. I learned it playing pro tennis and racing motorcycles. No matter how badass you think you are, someone is more badass than you.

    malenchki
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yup. But that than means I'm gonna hype myself up and go WELL IF THAT DUMASS M**********R CA DO IT THEN SO CAN I! *proceeds to fail agaib*

    Essex Eagle
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    There's always someone else who has decided that there time is better spent doing stuff than putting it on youtube for likes.... except for the guy who shows you how to do things that his dad didnt

    harry Henderson
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    There are always people better than you and always people worse than you the question is which group you want to be in the majority

    Metallicd3ath
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Well I consider myself pretty decent, but I think regardless of my personal level, the world would be better off if the majority was better than me. I don't want to see a world where the majority are worse.

    Load More Replies...
    Bille Aas Thomas
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    hes probably a indian turtioral youtuber

    Celena Camps
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    There is always someone smarter, richer, prettier etc … so accept yourself as you are and be content and proud of where you are at.

    View more comments
    #36

    Ants: Tiny Flamethrowers Unbothered

    “It’s only when you look at an ant through a magnifying glass on a sunny day that you realize how often they burst into flames.” - Harry Hill

    Report

    Olgierd Wiśniewski
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This makes sense, some problems appear only when we are looking for them

    #It'sthatonepersonscrolling
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I appreciate this WAY MORE than the original quote. Thank you, individual out there. 🙏

    Load More Replies...
    Sophie Nelson
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Are we sure we aren't doing that thing with sunlight through a magnifying glass that makes fire and then directs that toward the ants? (If that was the entire point of the quote I'm sorry for being a clueless idiot.)

    Bille Aas Thomas
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    my family is a problem i killed them to become top g

    Bent. O. Jensen
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "Boris, have you ever thought that you might be the reason the other birds fly south" - Balto.

    #37

    Friday Mood Activated

    “Every day is Friday when you’re unemployed.”

    Report

    LagoonaBlueColleen
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    People still, traditionally, work Friday. It would make more sense to say it's always Saturday.

    Nikole
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Oh for heaven's sake, they're referring to that feeling of euphoria on a Friday.

    Load More Replies...
    Michael Pattow
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "Weekends don't mean so much when you're unemployed, 'sept ya get to hang out with your workin friends" -Les Claypool

    Megan Jarrett
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yes the gold star of being retired.

    Jeff Bunn
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Also when you’re disabled, but not as much fun!!

    Amanda Hunter
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Or blissfully retired, like on Downton Abbey when the dowager asked "what is a weekend"?

    Bent. O. Jensen
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Doing nothing is very hard to do… you never know when you’re finished.

    Carolyn Basso
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    And every day is Monday when you are!

    Clappertonian Delight
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    And don't tell me "Its my Friday" when it's Monday and I have Tuesday Wednesday off. Its Monday. My weekdays don't change names based on old world work "traditions".

    View more comments
    ADVERTISEMENT
    ADVERTISEMENT
    #38

    Unintentionally Hilarious Life Edition

    “You’re naturally funny because your life is a joke.”

    Report

    Mer Mellow
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    And I took that personally🥲😂

    Celia Nott
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I thought jokes were supposed to have meaning…

    Jane Alexander
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    True of lots of folks, jus' most don't realize it.

    Potato
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Accurate! And I'll be here all week! Crying in the corner.

    Sandy Farley
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I This is what is called a "Cruelty Joke."

    #39

    Good luck out there, legend

    “The meaning of life is to find your gift. So good luck with that.”

    Report

    J J
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Me, I'm like, amazing at leaving dull, uninspired, replies on message boards, especially when intoxicated. Gift, found!

    #40

    Plot Twist: Failing Feels Like Progress

    "Challenging yourself... is a good way to fail." - Dom Mazzetti

    Report

    LostSage
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This also goes with trying something new, however, while both challenging oneself and trying new things might be a good way to fail in the short term... they are also both great to succeed in the long term.

    Jaime Loren
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    May your life be full of failure, so that you may learn.

    Connie May
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Just because you're different, doesn't mean you're special.

    Megan Jarrett
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Don't be afraid to fail most famous accomplishments were not done the first time.

    LagoonaBlueColleen
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Depends... People say they want a challenge but what they mean is they do the peak limit they've already reached before and practice that level until it becomes just easy enough to say they've mastered it and then quit.

    Bent. O. Jensen
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Go ahead and take risks – it gives the rest of us something to laugh at.

    Bent. O. Jensen
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Trial and error is a well established testing method.

    noob ccd
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It also goes to say that people who don't take risk/initiative and constantly waits for the perfect scenario to be feed on them never wins anything. Just.. make sure to prepare a safety net beforehand, always

    Sandy Farley
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Poor Dom. He never had the experience or intellect to understand...... !

    View more comments
    #41

    Demotivational Quotes

    “If at first, you don’t succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.”

    Report

    Raven DeathShade
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Uh...maybe don't show this to my parents. Or my siblings. One will murder us, the others will burn their schoolbooks.

    ADVERTISEMENT
    ADVERTISEMENT
    #42

    Demotivational Quotes

    “Life is what happens when you’re busy reading inspirational quotes.”

    Report

    #43

    Demotivational Quotes

    “Stubbornness – because somebody has to be right and it might as well be me.”

    Report

    malenchki
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Me before I get proven wrong

    #44

    Demotivational Quotes

    “The best things in life are actually really expensive.”

    Report

    #45

    Demotivational Quotes

    “The secret of my success? I make a list of things not to do, and then I check them off as I don’t do them.”

    Report

    ADVERTISEMENT
    ADVERTISEMENT
    #46

    Demotivational Quotes

    “We learn from experience that men never learn anything from experience.” - George Bernard Shaw

    Report

    Kristen Kircher
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    https://i0.wp.com/laughbreak.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/03/The-men-have-spoken.jpg?w=600&ssl=1

    #47

    Demotivational Quotes

    “Life is 10% what happens to you, and 90% how much money you have.”

    Report

    Casey
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    10 % ... 80%... 05% is how you got the money... 05% what you do with the money

    #48

    Demotivational Quotes

    “Life’s a bitch, and then you die.”

    Report

    #49

    Demotivational Quotes

    “Never give up. Never stop trying to exceed your limits. We need the entertainment.”

    Report

    Laura Brown
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Hold all applause and comments until after the presentation

    ADVERTISEMENT
    ADVERTISEMENT
    #50

    Demotivational Quotes

    “It’s not just Monday. Your whole life sucks.”

    Report

    #51

    Demotivational Quotes

    “If you never believe in anything, you’ll never be disappointed.”

    Report

    Eat Dirt Crow
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Not true, I believe things can always get worse...

    Leodavinci
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yes. I have found that those who do believe in something, are those who most often fall for anything. Proof: Trumpers, MAGAheads, QANONers, etc.

    Hamilfan
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    expect disappointment and you won't be disappointed

    Laura Brown
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Not so...never underestimate the ability to feel disappointed 😕

    #52

    Demotivational Quotes

    “Hope is the first step on the road to disappointment.” - Cassern S. Goto

    Report

    Mer Mellow
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "The sun will come out tomorrow!"...They said a month ago

    Kona Pake
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    She is kinda that way, isn’t she?

    Casey
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Just expect the worst then you'll never be let down

    #53

    Demotivational Quotes

    “When you think you’re screwed, remember we’re all on a big, wet ball floating in the dark.”

    Report

    LagoonaBlueColleen
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    And the only thing giving us light is the closest star we revolve around. Any light we create ourselves is not enough, but a temporary fix to see what the hell we're trying to do.

    Clara Rotti
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I truly believe our solar system is a miracle of God and Goddess.

    Load More Replies...
    Clara Rotti
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    No. We have the Sun and the Moon and the Stars to light our way.

    Apocalypstic
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    We have the sun. That's it. The closest star we revolve around. The moon doesn't "glow" without the sun and the other stars are way too far away to make a difference. We're dead without that sun.

    Load More Replies...
    ADVERTISEMENT
    ADVERTISEMENT
    #54

    Demotivational Quotes

    “It’s true hard work never killed anybody, but I figure, why take the chance?” – Ronald Reagan

    Report

    Neir Lucan
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    He's bound to have been honest at some point, I guess

    #55

    Demotivational Quotes

    “I look at the world and see a rainbow of people who all suck in different ways.“

    Report

    #56

    Demotivational Quotes

    “Everyone has a purpose in life. Perhaps yours is watching television.” - David Letterman

    Report

    #57

    Demotivational Quotes

    “The elevator to success is out of order. You’ll have to use the stairs, one step at a time.” – Joe Girard

    Report

    Eat Dirt Crow
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This one is more inspirational than not.

    Neir Lucan
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yeah, but it's also now true. The elevator to success is operated by prepaid card.

    Load More Replies...
    Kona Pake
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Funny how it always works for the Rockefellers, Kennedys and Gettys.

    ADVERTISEMENT
    ADVERTISEMENT
    #58

    Demotivational Quotes

    “Every day is a new chance for you to screw up again.”

    Report

    #59

    Demotivational Quotes

    “I always arrive late at the office, but I make up for it by leaving early” – Charles Lamb

    Report

    Eat Dirt Crow
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    You'll eventually come so late and leave so early that you'll pass yourself going the other way.

    #60

    Demotivational Quotes

    “Meetings – none of us is as dumb as all of us.”

    Report

    Kona Pake
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The sum of the IQ of a group at a meeting is less than the individual.

    #61

    Demotivational Quotes

    “Get to work – you aren’t being paid to believe in the power of your dreams.”

    Report

    ADVERTISEMENT
    ADVERTISEMENT
    #62

    Demotivational Quotes

    “Life better be a destination because this journey sucks.”

    Report

    Neir Lucan
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Pretty sure the destination is death

    #63

    Demotivational Quotes

    “Trying is the first step toward failure.” - Homer Simpson

    Report

    #64

    Demotivational Quotes

    “Life hack: you can’t do anything wrong if you don’t do anything at all.”

    Report

    Šimon Špaček
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "He, who does nothing, does nothing wrong. He, who does nothing wrong, gets promoted." Basic concept of corporate management.

    Eat Dirt Crow
    Community Member
    3 years ago

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    People that say "I didn't do it" I always reply "Yeah, but you were supposed to"

    #65

    Demotivational Quotes

    “Getting fit is all about mind over matter. I don’t mind, so it doesn’t matter.”

    Report

    ADVERTISEMENT
    ADVERTISEMENT
    #66

    Demotivational Quotes

    “If you give up on your dreams that may free up some time to get some actual stuff done.”

    Report

    #67

    Demotivational Quotes

    "Every dark cloud has a silver lining, but lightning kills hundreds of people each year who are trying to find it."

    Report

    #68

    Demotivational Quotes

    “If you changed everything about you, I’d love you just the way you are.”

    Report

    ADVERTISEMENT
    #69

    Demotivational Quotes

    “If at first, you don’t succeed, then skydiving definitely isn’t for you.” - Steven Wright

    Report

    ADVERTISEMENT
    #70

    Demotivational Quotes

    “Interns – the experience we’re giving you is invaluable. That’s why we’re not paying you anything.”

    Report

    Cecilia Matthews
    Community Member
    Premium
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Good judgement comes from experience. And experience comes from bad judgement. Quote from Dr Kerr L White.

    #71

    Demotivational Quotes

    “If the world didn’t suck we’d all fly into space.”

    Report

    #72

    Demotivational Quotes

    “Some people are born losers, others have to learn the hard way.”

    Report

    ADVERTISEMENT
    #73

    Demotivational Quotes

    “When work feels overwhelming, remember that you’re going to die.”

    Report

    Micah
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Reminding myself that it will (hopefully) all be over some day (i.e. any day), is actually a good motivator for me.

    ADVERTISEMENT
    #74

    Demotivational Quotes

    “Don’t cry because it’s over. Smile because if you don’t, everyone will ask you what’s wrong.”

    Report

    #75

    Demotivational Quotes

    “TEAMWORK: A few harmless flakes working together can unleash an avalanche of destruction.” - Justin Sewell

    Report

    Nurichwersonst
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Mistakes are for beginners. Experts are producing catastrophes.

    #76

    Demotivational Quotes

    “The light at the end of the tunnel has been turned off due to budget cuts.” - Steven Wright

    Report

    ADVERTISEMENT
    #77

    Demotivational Quotes

    “You have to make the good out of the bad because that is all you have got to make it out of.” - Robert Penn Warren

    Report

    ADVERTISEMENT
    See Also on Bored Panda
    #78

    Demotivational Quotes

    “I'm sure the universe is full of intelligent life. It's just been too intelligent to come here.” - Arthur C. Clarke

    Report

    #79

    Demotivational Quotes

    “It’s all downhill from here.”

    Report

    Wondering Alice
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    But to be fair, I love sledding down a hill. Even at my oldish age, any chance to roll down a hill makes my week. Who does not enjoy biking down hill? Racing someone to the bottom of a hill at way more speed than your use to makes you feel child like. In fact, I'm basically lazy and the only reason I could find for going up hill would be for the fun of coming down. In the rollercoaster of life, many might enjoy the anticipation of reaching the top - I'm all about shouting weeeeeeeeee, as I come down.

    Neir Lucan
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This is just a truism, unless we start a battle.

    ADVERTISEMENT
    See Also on Bored Panda
    #80

    Demotivational Quotes

    “He who laughs last didn’t get the joke.” - Charles de Gaulle

    Report

    #81

    Demotivational Quotes

    “There’s no limit to what you can be if you lie to yourself.”

    Report

    tom
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Trump is living proof

    ADVERTISEMENT
    See Also on Bored Panda
    #82

    Demotivational Quotes

    “You thank God daily, but have you ever once heard a ‘You’re welcome’?”

    Report

    SillySparklyGirl
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yes - every time I see puppies, kittens, baby animals of any kind really. Every cloudless blue sky day. Every rainbow. Every hearty laugh with people I love. The feeling I get from being good to a stranger. Every morning I wake. I hear "you're welcome" from God in countless ways. ❤️

    ADVERTISEMENT
    See Also on Bored Panda
    #83

    Demotivational Quotes

    “There is plenty of fish in the sea, none of them want to date you either.”

    Report

    J
    Community Member
    3 years ago

    This comment has been deleted.

    Maxx Holifield
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    There *are plenty of fish in the sea

    Metallicd3ath
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    People aren't against dating me, they just look at all the other fish and would rather date them.

    #84

    Demotivational Quotes

    “Everyone’s good at something, and you’re the best at not being good at anything.”

    Report

    #85

    Demotivational Quotes

    “Pulling together – only works when you’re not jerking in opposite directions like idiots.”

    Report

    Eat Dirt Crow
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Pull, if that doesn't work, push, if that doesn't work, we're closed.

    APL
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Ah, but as Lord Vetinari says - "pulling together is the aim of despotism and tyranny. Free men pull in all kinds of direction."

    ADVERTISEMENT
    ADVERTISEMENT
    See Also on Bored Panda
    #86

    Demotivational Quotes

    “To get back my youth I would do anything in the world, except take exercise, get up early, or be respectable.”

    Report

    #87

    Demotivational Quotes

    “Success is just failure that hasn't happened yet.” - Latrell Sprewell

    Report

    #88

    Demotivational Quotes

    “When we talk to God, we’re praying. When God talks to us, we’re schizophrenic.” - Jane Wagner

    Report

    Kona Pake
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Schizophrenic is just another word used by high priced specialists. Now you owe him $200 for the hour.

    ADVERTISEMENT
    See Also on Bored Panda
    #89

    Demotivational Quotes

    “Quitters never win, and winners never quit talking about how they won.”

    Report

    Eat Dirt Crow
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    If winners never quit, and quitters never win, what idiot came up with "quit while you're ahead"?

    Christina Hill
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Search Baltasar Gracián. His original quote was "Quit while you're ahead, the best gamblers always do". Just learning this as your comment made me curious so i don't have much more info.

    Load More Replies...
    Šimon Špaček
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Quitters never win, do not quit smoking.

    ADVERTISEMENT
    See Also on Bored Panda
    #90

    Demotivational Quotes

    “Better discourage a man’s climbing than help him to break his neck.”

    Report

    #91

    Demotivational Quotes

    “Life is hard, but it’s even harder if you’re stupid.”

    Report

    LagoonaBlueColleen
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'd say it's the opposite. When you're highly educated no one believes you because everyone else cannot and/or will not accept the facts. You go around life able to see the stupid in the world and able to see how power and smarts don't always correlate.

    Eat Dirt Crow
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I saw a comedian recently who had this bit that he would reply to people who told him to do his own research. It was specifically about vaccines. He was a high school drop out and to research vaccines he would have to start at the beginning of science. He asked the audience what the powerhouse of the cell was and someone in the audience replied "Mitochondria" and he said "Yeah, I don't know if you're right"

    Load More Replies...
    Natalie Marinova
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It's also harder if you aren't good looking :)

    ADVERTISEMENT
    #92

    Demotivational Quotes

    “The only thing all of your failures have in common is you.”

    Report

    #93

    Demotivational Quotes

    “I do not want people to be very agreeable, as it saves me the trouble of liking them a great deal.” - Jane Austen

    Report

    ADVERTISEMENT
    #94

    Demotivational Quotes

    “Will it be easy? Nope. Worth it? Absolutely not!”

    Report

    #95

    Demotivational Quotes

    “Those who doubt your ability probably have a valid reason.”

    Report

    ADVERTISEMENT
    #96

    Demotivational Quotes

    “I’m not lazy. I’m just highly motivated to do nothing.”

    Report

    #97

    Demotivational Quotes

    “Dare to soar – with enough hot air, even losers like you can fly.”

    Report

    Nicole Weymann
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines. (Steven Wright)

    ADVERTISEMENT
    #98

    Demotivational Quotes

    “You are a child of the universe. Problem is, the universe is a deadbeat dad.”

    Report

    #99

    Demotivational Quotes

    “I’d encourage most people to be themselves. For you, that’s clearly the wrong strategy.”

    Report

    ADVERTISEMENT
    #100

    Demotivational Quotes

    “Go to heaven for the climate and hell for the company.” - Benjamin Franklin Wade

    Report

    Catarina
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Good girls go to heaven ! Bad girls go....EVERYWERE

    #101

    Demotivational Quotes

    “I love mankind... it's people I can't stand!” - Charles M. Schulz

    Report

    ADVERTISEMENT
    #102

    Demotivational Quotes

    “I’ve developed a new philosophy. I only dread one day at a time.” - Charlie Brown

    Report

    #103

    Demotivational Quotes

    “You’re only as cheap as your most recent inspirational quote.”

    Report

    ADVERTISEMENT
    #104

    Demotivational Quotes

    “Dare to be different because there’s always room for another annoying non-conformist like you on the unemployment line.”

    Report

    #105

    Demotivational Quotes

    “Life is mostly just learning how to lose.”

    Report

    ADVERTISEMENT
    #106

    Demotivational Quotes

    “Happiness is just sadness that hasn’t happened yet.”

    Report

    Metallicd3ath
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Wait a second, this is just "success is just failure that hasn't happened yet" with a different coat of paint

    #107

    Demotivational Quotes

    “Nobody can stop me but only because I haven’t started yet.”

    Report

    ADVERTISEMENT
    #108

    Demotivational Quotes

    “Believe in yourself – because the rest of us think you’re an idiot.”

    Report

    #109

    Demotivational Quotes

    “Expectations – refuse to accept anything but the very best and you are never going to last around here.”

    Report

    ADVERTISEMENT
    #110

    Demotivational Quotes

    “When the going gets tough, the tough gets tougher.”

    Report

    #111

    Demotivational Quotes

    “Today will be a day like every other day.”

    Report

    Metallicd3ath
    Community Member
    3 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    For some reason, I thought of a "popular song." I think it kind of went like: "Today, is gonna be the day, is gonna be the day to you. Somehow, I should have somehow, realized what I somehow do. I don't believe that anybody, believe the way I do, about Somehow." - Neil Cicirega, maybe?

    Arnetha Elliott
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    These words are all the way incorrect 🤣🤣🤣

    Load More Replies...
    ADVERTISEMENT
    #112

    Demotivational Quotes

    “Don’t rest until you’ve complained about everything.”

    Report

    #113

    Demotivational Quotes

    “It is what it is. And it’s not good.”

    Report

    Timothy Harlan
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It is what it is. But it's never what it was

    ADVERTISEMENT
    #114

    Demotivational Quotes

    “Try hard and don’t worry if you fail because everyone expected that.”

    Report

    #115

    Demotivational Quotes

    “They say money talks. But, all mine says is goodbye.”

    Report

    ADVERTISEMENT
    #116

    Demotivational Quotes

    “Dream small – It’s your only hope for success, really.”

    Report

    #117

    Demotivational Quotes

    “Please take your feelings and tuck them back inside your heart.”

    Report

    ADVERTISEMENT
    #118

    Demotivational Quotes

    “Never regret anything because at one time it was exactly what you wanted.”

    Report

    Metallicd3ath
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I don't think I'd call this one demotivational. I was gonna argue until I realized it's specifically calling out regret. Also a good reminder to make better long-term choices.

    #119

    Demotivational Quotes

    “Flattery – if you want to get to the top, prepare to kiss a lot of the bottom.”

    Report

    Frank Tereschak
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    If you want to get to the top, prepare to kiss a lot of bottoms.

    ADVERTISEMENT
    #120

    Demotivational Quotes

    “Everything is bad and everyone is dumb.”

    Report

    #121

    Demotivational Quotes

    “You only die once.”

    Report

    ADVERTISEMENT
    #122

    Demotivational Quotes

    “If at first, you don’t succeed. Give up and try something else.”

    Report

    #123

    Demotivational Quotes

    “Always believe that something wonderful will probably never happen.”

    Report

    ADVERTISEMENT
    #124

    Demotivational Quotes

    “Dream is the only way for you to escape the miserable reality of your life.”

    Report

    #125

    Demotivational Quotes

    “Limitations – until you spread your wings, you’ll have no idea how far you can walk.”

    Report

    ADVERTISEMENT
    #126

    Demotivational Quotes

    “I’m sorry I didn’t respond to your text. It’s just that I don’t care about your feelings.”

    Report

    ADVERTISEMENT
    #127

    Demotivational Quotes

    “Because there’s nothing standing between you and your goal but a total lack of talent and complete failure of will.”

    Report

    #128

    Demotivational Quotes

    “The capacity for friendship is God's way of apologizing for our families.” - Jay McInerney

    Report

    #129

    Demotivational Quotes

    “You miss 100% of the shots you do take also.”

    Report

    Metallicd3ath
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'd say about 95%, but it rounds up.

    Stephanie A Mutti
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "Every shot you missed is a shot you took"

    ADVERTISEMENT
    #130

    Demotivational Quotes

    “It’s never too late to fail.”

    Report

    ADVERTISEMENT
    #131

    Demotivational Quotes

    “Work hard and you will (not) get what you deserve!”

    Report

    #132

    Demotivational Quotes

    “I’ll get coffee with you but only because I love coffee.”

    Report

    #133

    Demotivational Quotes

    “Whenever I feel the need to exercise I lie down until it goes away.”

    Report

    ADVERTISEMENT
    #134

    Demotivational Quotes

    “Some are born great, some achieve greatness, and some wind up like you.”

    Report

    ADVERTISEMENT
    #135

    Demotivational Quotes

    “Ambition – the journey of a thousand miles sometimes ends very, very, very badly.”

    Report

    #136

    Demotivational Quotes

    “Today I want you to be the best ‘you’ that you can possibly be, which isn’t asking for much.”

    Report

    #137

    Demotivational Quotes

    “Just imagine how terrible it might have been if we’d been at all competent.” - Terry Pratchett

    Report

    ADVERTISEMENT
    ADVERTISEMENT
    #138

    Demotivational Quotes

    “Carpe Nothing.”

    Report

    #139

    Demotivational Quotes

    “The worst things in your life probably haven’t happened to you yet.”

    Report

    #140

    Demotivational Quotes

    “Life is a series of things we would rather not to.” – Joe Abercrombie

    Report

    #141

    Demotivational Quotes

    “Your life only goes up so you can fall from a new height.”

    Report

    Eat Dirt Crow
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The closer you are to the top the more people there are who want to take your place.

    ADVERTISEMENT
    ADVERTISEMENT
    #142

    Demotivational Quotes

    “Be afraid to depend on others when you need to!”

    Report

    Metallicd3ath
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I already am, you don't have to tell me

    #143

    Demotivational Quotes

    “Television – why talk to your kids when you can watch with your kids?”

    Report

    #144

    Demotivational Quotes

    “Be the bridge – that way we can walk all over you on your way to better places.”

    Report

    Wondering Alice
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    " To be a leader, first be a bridge" actually comes from Welsh mythology where the giant king lay down so his armies could walk across him - using him as a bridge and riding to success. So the point is metaphorically or literally - if you are a great leader it doesn't matter if people walk all over you, what matters is your guys get where they need to. To be fair, not many people know much Welsh mythology.

    #145

    Demotivational Quotes

    “Life is only logical, and to think it’s a gift is depressing.”

    Report

    ADVERTISEMENT
    ADVERTISEMENT
    #146

    Demotivational Quotes

    “Boldly going nowhere.”

    Report

    #147

    Demotivational Quotes

    “There are several reasons why I am going to hell.”

    Report

    #148

    Demotivational Quotes

    “Distinction – looking sharp is easy when you haven’t done any work.”

    Report

    Eat Dirt Crow
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    A knight in shining armor has spent more time polishing their armor than earning it.

    #149

    Demotivational Quotes

    “Whoever sang, ‘Ooh-ooh, child things are gonna get easier’ was laying to that child.”

    Report

    ADVERTISEMENT
    ADVERTISEMENT
    #150

    Demotivational Quotes

    “Started from the bottom and still at the bottom.”

    Report

    Neir Lucan
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Not if you have a shovel, and endless self hatred.

    Load More Replies...
    #151

    Demotivational Quotes

    “You can have results or excuses. Excuses it is.”

    Report