Tired of the hogwash that inspirational quotes try to feed you? Sickened by motivational quotes’ mushy tone? Well then, you are absolutely not alone! For we, too, would rather twist an ankle than read another excerpt like that. Thus, we shall join our forces and our prowess for the unconventional and find the most comfortable middle ground in these Demotivational quotes of which we’ve gathered loads, and each of them is as good a mockery as any!
So, what should you expect from these demotivational quotes? Will they take your life force away from you with their contemptuous words? Or maybe they will rip all the joy out of your breath? Well, neither! What these non-quotes about life will do is make you laugh in that very ironic way where your face makes a sneer and embers of amusement start to dance in your eyes. By and large, though, these snarky quotes are actually inspiration masked in a ghillie suit of ornery words that should be read as irony. But you, of course, already know that and will read these silly quotes as a source of entertainment, rather than wishing to actually bring yourself down.
However, we should probably stop wasting our precious time with this gabble and skip straight to the real deal here - our wonderful, mesmerizing, and truly glorious selection of demotivational quotes. They are, as you might know very well by now, just an iota down below. Once you are there, do not forget to give these cool quotes your vote and share this article with your like-minded snarky friends.
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Well, that explains a lot
“Everything happens for a reason. Sometimes the reason is you're stupid and make bad decisions.” - Marion G. Harmon
My BIL is a defense attorney and he says 95% of crime is attributable to drunk and stupid.
Motivation Doesn’t Always Win
“Every dead body on Mt. Everest was once a highly motivated person, so… maybe calm down.”
So what you’re saying is maybe I shouldn’t spend all my college savings on a trip to Mount Everest?
Maybe not, especially if they're "college savings" and not "Mt. Everest savings"
Load More Replies...I told this to my brother a few years back. His response was "Climbing Everest was fun, you shouldn't try. You would just become a statistic." XD
your brother's 'just a statistic' too - just one of many thousands who've climbed Everest, one in a long shuffling queue to reach the top. People who climb it for 'fun' should stop. Everest doesn't need them, or the rubbish they leave behind.
Load More Replies...Maybe do that after you retire. That way, if you fall off, you'll have lived your life. Well, most of it.
I guess you're missing the point that some of those highly motivated climbers are dead?
Load More Replies...People need to just stop and leave the poor, previously pristine mountain alone.
Accept your situation. Theres more dignity in it. (No country for old men)
Bright ideas, loud surprises
“Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.” - Alan Dundes
Why is Trump’s hair always a different color? It’s always the same style, like a dead squirrel on his head, but the color varies. It is sometimes gray, sometimes yellow blond, sometimes light gray, sometimes light brown and sometimes a light red color. I don’t get it. Also, his skin is the color of this waterproofing wood stain/seal I used on my picnic table. I am really confused on the hair color thing and I have been for years now. I can’t be the only person who sees this, because everyone talks about his orange skin but nobody ever mentions his ever changing hair colors.
Load More Replies...He is bright orange. Or do rich ppl get apass on brains? After you make so much money, you're allowed to lose your mind?
Love you, but also fix yourself
“Just because we accept you as you are doesn’t mean we’ve abandoned hope you’ll improve.”
I say this every day to my dog and cats. The dog listens but promptly forgets... my cats don't even listen.
When Stupidity Goes Social
“Idiocy – never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.”
I thought it was a comedy back when it came out. Now I realize it was a strangely prophetic documentary.
Load More Replies...MAGA. Seriously, I live in a developing country and nobody here can believe that millions of people who are the products of a first world education system can believe Trump, vote for Trump and think it's a good thing that he tried to organize a coup ...
Americans don't actually get a first world education in many parts because too much is left to the individual communities.
Load More Replies...That is exactly what Trump understoot so well and exploited to hack the US.
Witness the 2020 election and who in office... Ding ding ding!
And the party that staged a coup and still crying about the results still to this day
Load More Replies...And yet somehow, we manage to put these kind of people into government every year.
Tomorrow’s plot twist, guaranteed
“If life doesn’t break you today, don’t worry. It will try again tomorrow.”
Unfortunately it's gonna be disappointed once again tomorrow.
Oh. Trust me. I know. Within 2 weeks, my grandpa got a cancer diagnosis (his 3rd, this one stage 4), my MIL died, my great grandma died, my wife and I lost our daughter, I rolled my 4runner, our other car got repo'd, and my best friend died in my arms. Oh, and I was working 16 hour overnight shifts at the time (though that lasted for a month and a half. The rest was within 2 weeks of that 6 weeks).
Whatever doesn’t kill you makes you stronger…or horribly maims you.
This Math Just Isn’t Adding Up
“People who say they’ll give 110% don’t understand how percentages work.”
"Engines are working at 110 percent, which is a little weird, but a bit of overkill never killed anybody." (If you get this quote, you get a cookie. A digital one, clearly. I don't know where you live).
People who say things like that don't understand how a hyperbole works. Language is more than a utilitarian tool to get one's point across in the most practical way possible.
Giving 110% is working yourself to death then willing your property to the company. Now that's the ethic your bosses are looking for!
Nah. I'm super demotivated, it took 150% of me just to wake up in the morning. Seriously, i have to literally drag myself just to get off the bed, i definitely surpassed my own limits everyday just to brush my teeth, me got to work everyday should be considered a miracle. It took all of my strength and willpower, I'm basically arrived at the office exhausted and barely alive. I know how percentages works, and i will fight anyone who dare to say that I didn't surpass my limits every single godam day.
Yeah, I don't use this phrase, but it could actually work. Suppose 100% is what's expected of them but they're going to go beyond your expectations. Or, 100% is what they're comfortable with and they are going to push outside their comfort zone.
No matter how much people think someone has gone beyond what was expected, the person still probably hasn't given their 100%... but you probably placed them on a higher pedestal than your own expectations. Those peoples' "comfort zone" is actually less than 100%. Anything over that is just higher than their comfort zone, but cannot go over 100%. If it were possible to give more than 100% of one's self, everyone would be super-human and there wouldn't be any of today's problems still hanging around.
Load More Replies...Remember the story of the balloon that gave 101% effort? He blew up trying
Big Starts, Bigger Oops
“A thousand-mile journey starts with one step. Then again, so does falling in a ditch and breaking your neck.”
Chronically ill person every day. You never know which it will be until too late
Or walking your dog, breaking your ankle, needed surgery, and not being able to walk for months.
🤣 oh my god I'm now gonna say that next time someone tries to say that!
Holding Out Hope for Space
“Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe.” - Albert Einstein
Einstein never said that. The fact that this myth keeps getting perpetuated kinda proves the point.
The problem is that you can't control who gets snapped, so you might end up getting rid of the few intelligent beings that do exist
Load More Replies...Disappointments You’ll Actually Want
“If you never try anything new, you’ll miss out on many of life’s great disappointments”
This is the mentality my mom has. Whereas I love trying new things.
True but then you'd be disappointing yourself and the ones you love. That seems like the greatest disappointment in life.
Sadly, avoiding disappointment seems to be the goal of some people . .
Yeah but you will also never know what you enjoy or what your good at!
When Persistence Turns Stubborn
“If at first, you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. No use being a damn fool about it.” - W.C. Fields
I say try, but if something doesn't work three times, that's the universe saying 'no'
Had a client who was court-ordered to see me after 39 arrests for Breaking & Entering. I asked him how many B&E's he had done in all-"39." And got caught every time. Advised him to get another line of work
I love this - it's so much easier to understand than the long winded version I have been using for years. I'm profoundly dyslexic and now work with children with learning and or cognitive difficulties. Seems like the majority of my colleagues have said about a child at some point something along the lines that they understand the barriers to learning, but the fact the kid is lazy and doesn't try is the root of the problem. I usually then launch in to a long speech with examples, statistics and metaphors which only really result in that teacher not sharing the opinion with me again. From now on I'm just going to say this. After all I'm not succeeding in changing opinions, I too am a fool for wasting time on it
You're the furthest thing from a fool. You sound like an incredible advocate for kids, and the world needs more of you. I can totally understand being burned out trying to explain these things when it seems to fall on deaf ears, but you never know when you've changed a mind or planted a seed.
Load More Replies...Well kids, you tried your best and failed miserably. The moral is... Never try
-Homer J. Simpson. (I was recently reinformed of that one.)
Load More Replies...Motivate, de-motivate may be like a coin, having 2 sides, one side absent, the coin will go to the dust-bin. Life teaches us everything, in the end we choose the path we walk, whether it was bumpy or smooth, time takes charge. There is nothing good or bad in this universe, everything is like an event destined to take place as it has, so until then we must only enjoy life as it presents us.
Well, That Went Dark Fast
“It could be that your purpose in life is to serve as a warning to others.” - Ashleigh Brilliant
That's what my younger sister told me. She said mom told her to watch h me and then do the opposite.
Plot twist: same old start
“Today is the first day of the rest of your life. But so was yesterday, and look how that turned out.”
This is acctually inspiring for my procrastination. Tomorrow will NOT be a better day to do things. It's just like today. So you might as well do it today instead of tomorrow or after the weekend. I will NOT get some magical inspiration after the weekend, it wont be a better day. Just the same. So better do it today.
Can you imagine animals procrastinating? The geese would never make it South; the salmon would never spawn; squirrels would starve in the winter; and more!
Uniquely Pointless, Anyone?
“Just because you are unique doesn't mean you are useful.”
I thought it was going to say they meet at the unemployment line
Load More Replies...I saw this on a picture of a bunch of forks once. One of the forks was bent all out of shape.
Work sucks? Welcome to the club.
“Oh, you hate your job? Why didn’t you say so? There’s a support group for that. It’s called EVERYBODY, and they meet at the bar.” – Drew Carey
These just make me sad. Go start doing what you love, seriously, if you can't do it yet go study more (in another country maybe if it's made too expensive in yours?) I waited patiently unemployed and studying until I now LoVe my job, it was totally worth waiting for and I couldn't have reached it if I'd taken just any job for the money. Work to enjoy your one life, not to make money and be accepted by society
Not entirely true. I love my jobs. Husband and Dom, father, writer, leatherworker, freelance photographer. Its a busy life, but one I wouldn't trade for the world.
Wasn't there an additional element to the quote? "There's a support group. We meet at the bar".
Millennials are in their 30s, hun. We've known this for over a decade. Some of us have known it for 2 decades. But since we’re over-generalizing, thanks for ruining the workforce, boomer!
Load More Replies...Leveling the Hate Game
“I am free of all prejudice. I hate everyone equally.” - W.C. Fields
I like this one better. Because being prejudiced means you judge someone before you meet them, so if you hate someone you haven't met then you really are being prejudiced.
Load More Replies...Oh man, adding this to my shortlist of great cat names right now. You're a genius.
Load More Replies...That's exactly how I got out of jury duty forever at 18 years old. 🤣🤣😂😂
Uniquely Basic, Haven’t You Heard?
“Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else.” - Margaret Mead
A quote I've preached to my kids since they were little & backed it up with, "so then treat everyone as individuals."
I use this constantly one of my faves. They brighten as you say the first part then face fall for the second. So fun.
Thats the the communist manifesto, in a nutshell. Nothing special about any of us.
Peak productivity, or just chaos?
“Multitasking – the art of doing twice as much as you should half as well as you could.”
Or, as it was previously known, a "renaissance man". Just look what leonardo da vinca might have achieved if hed focused on one thing . .
so is running over children while being in drift race multitasking
Not necessarily true, if you need a break from something you can work on something else then go back
There are two kinds; those who know that they don't multitask and those who don't.
Galactic Oops Everyone’s Still Talking About
“The story so far: In the beginning, the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move.” - Douglas Adams
Every time i reread it i find more tidbits of brilliance and something i didn't catch before. Another favorite is from The Long Dark Teatime of the Soul. "A life that is burdened with expectations is a heavy life. Its fruit is sorrow and disappointment."
This just in, pissed off people have started a class-action lawsuit against the Universe for creating itself. Their main argument is that they never asked for this....
God created Adam and Eve knowing they were going to eat the apple. WTF is that all about?
Social experiment! Let's taunt them with fruit and tell them they can't have it. Gabriel, get the popcorn ready.
Load More Replies...Hahaha! "Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy". F**k yeah! Meet you all at Milliways!
Cold truth nobody admits
“Life is pain. Anyone who says otherwise is selling something.” – William Goldman
If you love the movie, READ THE BOOK! I had to read it for school and it was the only book I’ve ever actually wanted to read
I wanted to read the unabridged book, searched everywhere and the only one I find was "The Good Parts" so I settled for that. After reading a bit, then I understood.
Load More Replies...OMG!!! YASSS THE PRINCESS BRIDE!!!! I loved that movie soooo much. The book was okay but soooooooooooooooooooooo long.
"OH NO! You're life just doesn't want to do what you want it to do. Introducing The Life Picker Upper."
But wait! There's more! Buy now and get it shipped, FREE!!!!
Load More Replies...i sell my farts in jar special deal now buy 1 for the price of 2 and get a extra one
Yep. Everything being sold is something to alleviate some kind of pain. Whether or not it's "snake oil" depends on if it works. When I say everything... I mean EVERY THING. There isn't anything that isn't "old". Pastors sell religion. Union leaders sell unionism. Politicians sell... themselves. Every thing is "sold", it's just that many (most?) things aren't paid for with money.
Load More Replies...God’s sense of humor is expensive
“If you want to know what God thinks of money, just look at the people he gave it to.” - Dorothy Parker
Is this the same god who condemned me for Eve's original sin? And promotes slavery in his bible? I'm just asking?? . . .
Wtf you talking about, God doesn't give anyone money lol. And roughly 6 billion people possess one form or another of money, so...
A stinging observation. Edit: Although I do hear a rim shot in my head when I read it.
Load More Replies...Peak Life Hack Energy
“When life knocks you down, stay there and take a nap.”
Catchy enough to cry over
“Nothing says ‘you’re a loser’ more than owning a motivational poster about being a winner.”
This sounds a lot like body shaming an overweight person at a gym. Wouldn't a "loser", by definition, be someone who most needs motivation?
Or burning donuts in an intersection or blasting the whole neighborhood with your stereo.
For a second I pictured someone holding a donut (pastry) over an open flame in the middle of a busy street and was very confused. But yes, probably not a winner unless it involves s’mores.
Load More Replies...Failure Doesn’t Always Teach You
“Not everything is a lesson. Sometimes you just fail.” - Dwight Schrute
Yep, this happens (a teacher here). It is OK to fail. You will not succeed at everything in life. But never give up finding what you can be successful in....c**p, time to take my own advice.
Load More Replies...Reminds me of something Capt. Picard said (I can't remember the exact phrase, but this is close): "Sometimes you can do everything right and still lose. That's not failure. That's life."
"It is possible to make no mistakes and still lose" - Jean Luc Picard
They are not lessons... only if one fails to learn anything from them. Learning does not mean not failing.
my stepsister called me attractive my mother called me a faliure my dad said english or spanish
A few of us have to go round a time or two. Speed reading & missed some important details. If nothing else, you learn that you do not like _________ & that's a good lesson.
"You can do everything right and still lose. That's not a failing." - Jean-Luc Picard
When Fate Doesn’t Take Your Order
“Fate is like a strange, unpopular restaurant filled with odd little waiters who bring you things you never asked for and don't always like.” - Lemony Snicket
me to i love when snicket works hard inside me
Load More Replies...I'm writing this down...Lemony... The name always makes me think about pie....
And Larry, your waiter, declined the refund and gave you a peppermint as apology. Did you get the joke?
f**k no what the hell is this supposed to mean
Load More Replies...i hate this this monstorsty is bad my father abonded me as child now i date my mother inspiring story i learned from uncle
im disabled thats offensive your canclled womp womp
Load More Replies...And people wonder why restaurant waitstaff feel underpaid and abused. .
Congrats, but where’s the love?
“The worst part of success is trying to find someone who is happy for you.” - Bette Midler
That is true, ain't it. ... I'm gonna start being proud of those who deserve success.
Too. True. If something truly awesome happens... or you do something that is pretty cool... don't expect people to be happy for you. My experience? The better something is ... the more cynical/bitter/sour grapes "Meh" the general reaction. So... I crocheted a simple afghan square? Great awesome! So much support! YAAAY! BUT...... I figured out from scratch a pattern for a particular cartoon character, made it and even added wire armature? "Oh. Nice." with a little heart reaction. Uh huh.
I have always loved celebrating other people's successes, and being there in tough times as well.
this is inspirational for me actually. i like seeing people mad and jealous.
Built to Break But Never Built Up
“Your life can’t fall apart if you never had it together.”
Pretending I have it all together is exhausting, so I don't do that...🤪🤪
80 year old step mother of children living in the west side of ohio
Load More Replies...Work in Progress Forever
“The road to success is always under construction.” – Lily Tomlin
I love Lily Tomlin. As a kid I saw reruns of laugh in. She has always been a smart kind of funny. And boy is she.
The construction, you take part. When you look back, the distance you've been able to travel is the success.
The struggle of doing nothing
“Doing nothing is very hard to do… you never know when you’re finished.”
When “Good Job” Means Overtime
“The reward for good work is more work”. – Francesca Elisia
So true! If you start your job with high performance, you are expected to keep it up forever, meanwhile those who spend the day doing nothing but talk, are never asked to do anything, and most likely will become your supervisor soon..
Asking Level: Expertly Clueless
“There are no stupid questions, but there are a LOT of inquisitive idiots.”
I'm far from an idiot, I just wanna do it right. So yeah I ask a lot of questions.
I'd prefer the stupid questions over someone who just guesses
Load More Replies...Who said there are no stupid questions? Let's be honest, I can't be the only one who spends much of my day answering stupid questions. Recent favourite 'what colour is your green blanket?" - spoiler, it's green.
There are a LOT of stupid questions-- sit in on some management meetings
I'm too important tto help you with your problem. Or you're too unimportant?
The only stupid question is the one you didn't ask that could have made you less ignorant or helped you succeed
There are indeed stupid questions. That is especially true for those where you could have answered it yourself if you just took a moment to reflect. That will e.g. be particularly true if the question itself contains the answer, e.g. what colour is a blue whale, or what gas is used in a hot air balloon?
Bold Moves, Bigger Cringe
“Go ahead and take risks – it gives the rest of us something to laugh at.”
Would the internet have ever become more than a porno distribution system without epic fails from ppl trying too hard? (Those two certainly overlap at times). I'll hold that beer, and film
Load More Replies...Anytime somebody says hold my beer then sit down with your video and wait... You won't be disappointed.
So many people are satisfied with watching life, instead of living it . .
I want to watch the scum of the world struggle to climb up the hill of betterment, only to repeatedly trip and tumble down to the fiery pit of failure - alastor
Low-Key Weasels Win
“Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.” - John Benfield
The early bird may get the worm, but it's the second mouse that gets the cheese
"Don't believe all the sources of quotes on the internet" -Abraham Lincoln
Load More Replies...You don’t always have to reach for the stars, it’s not always but beautiful up there, it’s better for you to do what you enjoy
Not Buying Any Lemonade Today
“Raise your hand if you have had quite enough unsolicited advice about what should be done with any lemons that life may or may not give you.”
Unless life gives you water and sugar, that's going to be some crappy lemonade.
Personal experience. Put them in freezer. That you can throw rock solid hard lemons at people.
Tequila, man, tequila... Then burn whatever... It doesn't matter in the moment.
Load More Replies...When life gives you lemons complain about the lemons (paraphrased from Dr Draken to Kim Possible (and I'm probably showing my age just knowing that *and* being able to quote it!))
I love that show! Wow.. (you can't be that old, I'm 27)
Load More Replies...Here's one for Spanish speakers: si del cielo te caen huevos, aprende a hacer huevonadas
When life gives you lemons, pop them in your bra. Big boobed women get more perks
And they’re already 10 steps ahead
“There’s always someone on Youtube that can do it better than you.”
There's always someone who can do it better, and someone who can do it worse.
That was true before YouTube. I learned it playing pro tennis and racing motorcycles. No matter how badass you think you are, someone is more badass than you.
There's always someone else who has decided that there time is better spent doing stuff than putting it on youtube for likes.... except for the guy who shows you how to do things that his dad didnt
There are always people better than you and always people worse than you the question is which group you want to be in the majority
Well I consider myself pretty decent, but I think regardless of my personal level, the world would be better off if the majority was better than me. I don't want to see a world where the majority are worse.
Load More Replies...There is always someone smarter, richer, prettier etc … so accept yourself as you are and be content and proud of where you are at.
Ants: Tiny Flamethrowers Unbothered
“It’s only when you look at an ant through a magnifying glass on a sunny day that you realize how often they burst into flames.” - Harry Hill
This makes sense, some problems appear only when we are looking for them
I appreciate this WAY MORE than the original quote. Thank you, individual out there. 🙏
Load More Replies...Are we sure we aren't doing that thing with sunlight through a magnifying glass that makes fire and then directs that toward the ants? (If that was the entire point of the quote I'm sorry for being a clueless idiot.)
"Boris, have you ever thought that you might be the reason the other birds fly south" - Balto.
Friday Mood Activated
“Every day is Friday when you’re unemployed.”
People still, traditionally, work Friday. It would make more sense to say it's always Saturday.
Oh for heaven's sake, they're referring to that feeling of euphoria on a Friday.
Load More Replies..."Weekends don't mean so much when you're unemployed, 'sept ya get to hang out with your workin friends" -Les Claypool
Or blissfully retired, like on Downton Abbey when the dowager asked "what is a weekend"?
Doing nothing is very hard to do… you never know when you’re finished.
And don't tell me "Its my Friday" when it's Monday and I have Tuesday Wednesday off. Its Monday. My weekdays don't change names based on old world work "traditions".
Unintentionally Hilarious Life Edition
“You’re naturally funny because your life is a joke.”
Good luck out there, legend
“The meaning of life is to find your gift. So good luck with that.”
Plot Twist: Failing Feels Like Progress
"Challenging yourself... is a good way to fail." - Dom Mazzetti
Don't be afraid to fail most famous accomplishments were not done the first time.
Depends... People say they want a challenge but what they mean is they do the peak limit they've already reached before and practice that level until it becomes just easy enough to say they've mastered it and then quit.
Go ahead and take risks – it gives the rest of us something to laugh at.
Poor Dom. He never had the experience or intellect to understand...... !
Demotivational Quotes
“If at first, you don’t succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.”
Uh...maybe don't show this to my parents. Or my siblings. One will murder us, the others will burn their schoolbooks.
Demotivational Quotes
“Life is what happens when you’re busy reading inspirational quotes.”
Demotivational Quotes
“Stubbornness – because somebody has to be right and it might as well be me.”
Demotivational Quotes
“The best things in life are actually really expensive.”
Demotivational Quotes
“The secret of my success? I make a list of things not to do, and then I check them off as I don’t do them.”
Demotivational Quotes
“We learn from experience that men never learn anything from experience.” - George Bernard Shaw
https://i0.wp.com/laughbreak.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/03/The-men-have-spoken.jpg?w=600&ssl=1
Demotivational Quotes
“Life is 10% what happens to you, and 90% how much money you have.”
Demotivational Quotes
“Life’s a bitch, and then you die.”
Demotivational Quotes
“Never give up. Never stop trying to exceed your limits. We need the entertainment.”
Demotivational Quotes
“It’s not just Monday. Your whole life sucks.”
Demotivational Quotes
“If you never believe in anything, you’ll never be disappointed.”
Yes. I have found that those who do believe in something, are those who most often fall for anything. Proof: Trumpers, MAGAheads, QANONers, etc.
Demotivational Quotes
“Hope is the first step on the road to disappointment.” - Cassern S. Goto
Demotivational Quotes
“When you think you’re screwed, remember we’re all on a big, wet ball floating in the dark.”
And the only thing giving us light is the closest star we revolve around. Any light we create ourselves is not enough, but a temporary fix to see what the hell we're trying to do.
I truly believe our solar system is a miracle of God and Goddess.
Load More Replies...We have the sun. That's it. The closest star we revolve around. The moon doesn't "glow" without the sun and the other stars are way too far away to make a difference. We're dead without that sun.
Load More Replies...Demotivational Quotes
“It’s true hard work never killed anybody, but I figure, why take the chance?” – Ronald Reagan
Demotivational Quotes
“I look at the world and see a rainbow of people who all suck in different ways.“
Demotivational Quotes
“Everyone has a purpose in life. Perhaps yours is watching television.” - David Letterman
Demotivational Quotes
“The elevator to success is out of order. You’ll have to use the stairs, one step at a time.” – Joe Girard
Yeah, but it's also now true. The elevator to success is operated by prepaid card.
Load More Replies...Demotivational Quotes
“Every day is a new chance for you to screw up again.”
Demotivational Quotes
“I always arrive late at the office, but I make up for it by leaving early” – Charles Lamb
You'll eventually come so late and leave so early that you'll pass yourself going the other way.
Demotivational Quotes
“Meetings – none of us is as dumb as all of us.”
Demotivational Quotes
“Get to work – you aren’t being paid to believe in the power of your dreams.”
Demotivational Quotes
“Life better be a destination because this journey sucks.”
Demotivational Quotes
“Life hack: you can’t do anything wrong if you don’t do anything at all.”
"He, who does nothing, does nothing wrong. He, who does nothing wrong, gets promoted." Basic concept of corporate management.
Demotivational Quotes
“Getting fit is all about mind over matter. I don’t mind, so it doesn’t matter.”
Demotivational Quotes
“If you give up on your dreams that may free up some time to get some actual stuff done.”
Demotivational Quotes
"Every dark cloud has a silver lining, but lightning kills hundreds of people each year who are trying to find it."
Demotivational Quotes
“If you changed everything about you, I’d love you just the way you are.”
Demotivational Quotes
“If at first, you don’t succeed, then skydiving definitely isn’t for you.” - Steven Wright
Demotivational Quotes
“Interns – the experience we’re giving you is invaluable. That’s why we’re not paying you anything.”
Good judgement comes from experience. And experience comes from bad judgement. Quote from Dr Kerr L White.
Demotivational Quotes
“If the world didn’t suck we’d all fly into space.”
Demotivational Quotes
“Some people are born losers, others have to learn the hard way.”
Demotivational Quotes
“When work feels overwhelming, remember that you’re going to die.”
Demotivational Quotes
“Don’t cry because it’s over. Smile because if you don’t, everyone will ask you what’s wrong.”
Demotivational Quotes
“TEAMWORK: A few harmless flakes working together can unleash an avalanche of destruction.” - Justin Sewell
Demotivational Quotes
“The light at the end of the tunnel has been turned off due to budget cuts.” - Steven Wright
Demotivational Quotes
“You have to make the good out of the bad because that is all you have got to make it out of.” - Robert Penn Warren
Demotivational Quotes
“I'm sure the universe is full of intelligent life. It's just been too intelligent to come here.” - Arthur C. Clarke
Demotivational Quotes
“It’s all downhill from here.”
But to be fair, I love sledding down a hill. Even at my oldish age, any chance to roll down a hill makes my week. Who does not enjoy biking down hill? Racing someone to the bottom of a hill at way more speed than your use to makes you feel child like. In fact, I'm basically lazy and the only reason I could find for going up hill would be for the fun of coming down. In the rollercoaster of life, many might enjoy the anticipation of reaching the top - I'm all about shouting weeeeeeeeee, as I come down.
Demotivational Quotes
“There’s no limit to what you can be if you lie to yourself.”
Demotivational Quotes
“You thank God daily, but have you ever once heard a ‘You’re welcome’?”
Yes - every time I see puppies, kittens, baby animals of any kind really. Every cloudless blue sky day. Every rainbow. Every hearty laugh with people I love. The feeling I get from being good to a stranger. Every morning I wake. I hear "you're welcome" from God in countless ways. ❤️
Demotivational Quotes
“There is plenty of fish in the sea, none of them want to date you either.”
People aren't against dating me, they just look at all the other fish and would rather date them.
Demotivational Quotes
“Everyone’s good at something, and you’re the best at not being good at anything.”
Demotivational Quotes
“Pulling together – only works when you’re not jerking in opposite directions like idiots.”
Pull, if that doesn't work, push, if that doesn't work, we're closed.
Demotivational Quotes
“To get back my youth I would do anything in the world, except take exercise, get up early, or be respectable.”
Demotivational Quotes
“Success is just failure that hasn't happened yet.” - Latrell Sprewell
Demotivational Quotes
“When we talk to God, we’re praying. When God talks to us, we’re schizophrenic.” - Jane Wagner
Demotivational Quotes
“Quitters never win, and winners never quit talking about how they won.”
If winners never quit, and quitters never win, what idiot came up with "quit while you're ahead"?
Search Baltasar Gracián. His original quote was "Quit while you're ahead, the best gamblers always do". Just learning this as your comment made me curious so i don't have much more info.
Load More Replies...Demotivational Quotes
“Better discourage a man’s climbing than help him to break his neck.”
Demotivational Quotes
“Life is hard, but it’s even harder if you’re stupid.”
I'd say it's the opposite. When you're highly educated no one believes you because everyone else cannot and/or will not accept the facts. You go around life able to see the stupid in the world and able to see how power and smarts don't always correlate.
I saw a comedian recently who had this bit that he would reply to people who told him to do his own research. It was specifically about vaccines. He was a high school drop out and to research vaccines he would have to start at the beginning of science. He asked the audience what the powerhouse of the cell was and someone in the audience replied "Mitochondria" and he said "Yeah, I don't know if you're right"
Load More Replies...Demotivational Quotes
“I do not want people to be very agreeable, as it saves me the trouble of liking them a great deal.” - Jane Austen
Demotivational Quotes
“Dare to soar – with enough hot air, even losers like you can fly.”
Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines. (Steven Wright)
Demotivational Quotes
“You are a child of the universe. Problem is, the universe is a deadbeat dad.”
Demotivational Quotes
“I’d encourage most people to be themselves. For you, that’s clearly the wrong strategy.”
Demotivational Quotes
“Go to heaven for the climate and hell for the company.” - Benjamin Franklin Wade
Demotivational Quotes
“I’ve developed a new philosophy. I only dread one day at a time.” - Charlie Brown
Demotivational Quotes
“You’re only as cheap as your most recent inspirational quote.”
Demotivational Quotes
“Dare to be different because there’s always room for another annoying non-conformist like you on the unemployment line.”
Demotivational Quotes
“Happiness is just sadness that hasn’t happened yet.”
Wait a second, this is just "success is just failure that hasn't happened yet" with a different coat of paint
Demotivational Quotes
“Believe in yourself – because the rest of us think you’re an idiot.”
Demotivational Quotes
“Expectations – refuse to accept anything but the very best and you are never going to last around here.”
Demotivational Quotes
“Today will be a day like every other day.”
For some reason, I thought of a "popular song." I think it kind of went like: "Today, is gonna be the day, is gonna be the day to you. Somehow, I should have somehow, realized what I somehow do. I don't believe that anybody, believe the way I do, about Somehow." - Neil Cicirega, maybe?
Demotivational Quotes
“It is what it is. And it’s not good.”
Demotivational Quotes
“Try hard and don’t worry if you fail because everyone expected that.”
Demotivational Quotes
“Never regret anything because at one time it was exactly what you wanted.”
I don't think I'd call this one demotivational. I was gonna argue until I realized it's specifically calling out regret. Also a good reminder to make better long-term choices.
Demotivational Quotes
“Flattery – if you want to get to the top, prepare to kiss a lot of the bottom.”
Demotivational Quotes
“You only die once.”
Demotivational Quotes
“Always believe that something wonderful will probably never happen.”
Demotivational Quotes
“Dream is the only way for you to escape the miserable reality of your life.”
Demotivational Quotes
“Limitations – until you spread your wings, you’ll have no idea how far you can walk.”
Demotivational Quotes
“I’m sorry I didn’t respond to your text. It’s just that I don’t care about your feelings.”
Demotivational Quotes
“Because there’s nothing standing between you and your goal but a total lack of talent and complete failure of will.”
Demotivational Quotes
“The capacity for friendship is God's way of apologizing for our families.” - Jay McInerney
Demotivational Quotes
“You miss 100% of the shots you do take also.”
Demotivational Quotes
“Whenever I feel the need to exercise I lie down until it goes away.”
Demotivational Quotes
“Some are born great, some achieve greatness, and some wind up like you.”
Demotivational Quotes
“Ambition – the journey of a thousand miles sometimes ends very, very, very badly.”
Demotivational Quotes
“Today I want you to be the best ‘you’ that you can possibly be, which isn’t asking for much.”
Demotivational Quotes
“Just imagine how terrible it might have been if we’d been at all competent.” - Terry Pratchett
Demotivational Quotes
“The worst things in your life probably haven’t happened to you yet.”
Demotivational Quotes
“Life is a series of things we would rather not to.” – Joe Abercrombie
Demotivational Quotes
“Your life only goes up so you can fall from a new height.”
The closer you are to the top the more people there are who want to take your place.
Demotivational Quotes
“Be afraid to depend on others when you need to!”
Demotivational Quotes
“Television – why talk to your kids when you can watch with your kids?”
Demotivational Quotes
“Be the bridge – that way we can walk all over you on your way to better places.”
" To be a leader, first be a bridge" actually comes from Welsh mythology where the giant king lay down so his armies could walk across him - using him as a bridge and riding to success. So the point is metaphorically or literally - if you are a great leader it doesn't matter if people walk all over you, what matters is your guys get where they need to. To be fair, not many people know much Welsh mythology.
Demotivational Quotes
“Life is only logical, and to think it’s a gift is depressing.”
Demotivational Quotes
“Distinction – looking sharp is easy when you haven’t done any work.”
A knight in shining armor has spent more time polishing their armor than earning it.
Demotivational Quotes
“Whoever sang, ‘Ooh-ooh, child things are gonna get easier’ was laying to that child.”
Demotivational Quotes
“Started from the bottom and still at the bottom.”
Not if you have a shovel, and endless self hatred.
Load More Replies...Failure is a good thing in the grand scheme of things. Without failures in some form there would be no evolution and we would not exist. Here is a story of a good one: Alexander Fleming was doing research on ways to cure disease. He failed over and over again. He used petri dishes to spread and grow bacteria on them and study the reactions. After each try (and failure) the dishes would be cleaned and completely sterilized and he would try again. He left the cleaning to one of his subordinates. He placed a new batch into an incubator and left for holiday. When he came back and inspected them he was disappointed. (pissed off!) The petris hadn't been cleaned and sanitized properly and they were covered with mold. He was tossing them out when he noticed something. Where the mold grew, the bacteria did not. This was how penicillin was discovered. This particular f**k up has saved millions of lives.
One of my favs: I tried to keep an open mind, and all my brains fell out.
Well, you don't need a million dollars to do nothin', man. Take a look at my cousin. He's broke, don't do s**t
If you don't want to be asked to do something, f**k it up the first time - My Grandmother
My favorite is … “if you can’t be a role model of how to be, be the example of what not to be” …
we are all just su!cidal kids telling other su!cidal kids that its not the answer. -unknown
I’m not suicidal and neither are most of the people I know.
Load More Replies...Failure is a good thing in the grand scheme of things. Without failures in some form there would be no evolution and we would not exist. Here is a story of a good one: Alexander Fleming was doing research on ways to cure disease. He failed over and over again. He used petri dishes to spread and grow bacteria on them and study the reactions. After each try (and failure) the dishes would be cleaned and completely sterilized and he would try again. He left the cleaning to one of his subordinates. He placed a new batch into an incubator and left for holiday. When he came back and inspected them he was disappointed. (pissed off!) The petris hadn't been cleaned and sanitized properly and they were covered with mold. He was tossing them out when he noticed something. Where the mold grew, the bacteria did not. This was how penicillin was discovered. This particular f**k up has saved millions of lives.
One of my favs: I tried to keep an open mind, and all my brains fell out.
Well, you don't need a million dollars to do nothin', man. Take a look at my cousin. He's broke, don't do s**t
If you don't want to be asked to do something, f**k it up the first time - My Grandmother
My favorite is … “if you can’t be a role model of how to be, be the example of what not to be” …
we are all just su!cidal kids telling other su!cidal kids that its not the answer. -unknown
I’m not suicidal and neither are most of the people I know.
Load More Replies...
