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40 Demotivational Quotes That Are Painfully True

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Tired of the hogwash that inspirational quotes try to feed you? Sickened by motivational quotes’ mushy tone? Well then, you are absolutely not alone! For we, too, would rather twist an ankle than read another excerpt like that. Thus, we shall join our forces and our prowess for the unconventional and find the most comfortable middle ground in these Demotivational quotes of which we’ve gathered loads, and each of them is as good a mockery as any!

So, what should you expect from these demotivational quotes? Will they take your life force away from you with their contemptuous words? Or maybe they will rip all the joy out of your breath? Well, neither! What these non-quotes about life will do is make you laugh in that very ironic way where your face makes a sneer and embers of amusement start to dance in your eyes. By and large, though, these snarky quotes are actually inspiration masked in a ghillie suit of ornery words that should be read as irony. But you, of course, already know that and will read these silly quotes as a source of entertainment, rather than wishing to actually bring yourself down.

However, we should probably stop wasting our precious time with this gabble and skip straight to the real deal here - our wonderful, mesmerizing, and truly glorious selection of demotivational quotes. They are, as you might know very well by now, just an iota down below. Once you are there, do not forget to give these cool quotes your vote and share this article with your like-minded snarky friends.

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#1

“Everything happens for a reason. Sometimes the reason is you're stupid and make bad decisions.” - Marion G. Harmon

479points

J Rob 2 years ago

Love It!

42points

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#2

“Every dead body on Mt. Everest was once a highly motivated person, so… maybe calm down.”

422points

The Panarchist (He/They) 2 years ago (edited)

So what you’re saying is maybe I shouldn’t spend all my college savings on a trip to Mount Everest?

69points

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#3

“Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.” - Alan Dundes

387points

Nathaniel 2 years ago

Trump appears bright because every day he gets freshly painted with Ronseal fence protector.

149points

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#4

“Just because we accept you as you are doesn’t mean we’ve abandoned hope you’ll improve.”

385points

Eat Dirt Crow 2 years ago

This one is quite inspirational. I'll have to remember this one.

66points

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#5

“Idiocy – never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.”

338points

Christina Keenan 2 years ago

The movie "Idiocracy" has come true

113points

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#6

“If life doesn’t break you today, don’t worry. It will try again tomorrow.”

323points

Maj L 2 years ago

Tomorrow, tomorrow, I love ya, tomorrow, you're only a day away!

50points

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#7

“People who say they’ll give 110% don’t understand how percentages work.”

319points

Raven DeathShade 2 years ago

"Engines are working at 110 percent, which is a little weird, but a bit of overkill never killed anybody." (If you get this quote, you get a cookie. A digital one, clearly. I don't know where you live).

7points

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#8

“A thousand-mile journey starts with one step. Then again, so does falling in a ditch and breaking your neck.”

317points

The Panarchist (He/They) 2 years ago

There’s a point there-

42points

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#9

“Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe.” - Albert Einstein

298points

Laura Brown 2 years ago

Humans will forever assert their right to be stupid

74points

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#10

“If you never try anything new, you’ll miss out on many of life’s great disappointments”

296points

Lulxby 2 years ago

True

31points

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#11

“If at first, you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. No use being a damn fool about it.” - W.C. Fields

281points

Eat Dirt Crow 2 years ago

If at first you don't succeed, maybe skydiving isn't for you

140points

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#12

“It could be that your purpose in life is to serve as a warning to others.” - Ashleigh Brilliant

268points

Alex Hilbish 2 years ago

This is a brilliant quote! .... I'll see myself out.

65points

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#13

“Today is the first day of the rest of your life. But so was yesterday, and look how that turned out.”

266points

Ansi 2 years ago

This is acctually inspiring for my procrastination. Tomorrow will NOT be a better day to do things. It's just like today. So you might as well do it today instead of tomorrow or after the weekend. I will NOT get some magical inspiration after the weekend, it wont be a better day. Just the same. So better do it today.

109points

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#14

“Just because you are unique doesn't mean you are useful.”

252points

Zophra 2 years ago

I really like this one.

35points

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#15

“Oh, you hate your job? Why didn’t you say so? There’s a support group for that. It’s called EVERYBODY, and they meet at the bar.” – Drew Carey

246points

Adam L 2 years ago

I just want to go to a place where everybody knows my name...

62points

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#16

“I am free of all prejudice. I hate everyone equally.” - W.C. Fields

243points

Mistralok 2 years ago

Shoot, beet me to it. Sorry

26points

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#17

“Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else.” - Margaret Mead

236points

Nathaniel 2 years ago

"You’re ALL individuals!"

57points

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#18

“Multitasking – the art of doing twice as much as you should half as well as you could.”

234points

A Jones 2 years ago

And only being paid the amount for one task during the same time period.

66points

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#19

“The story so far: In the beginning, the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move.” - Douglas Adams

224points

Mistralok 2 years ago

“A learning experience is one of those things that says, 'You know that thing you just did? Don't do that.” -DA-

59points

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#20

“Life is pain. Anyone who says otherwise is selling something.” – William Goldman

217points

Sydney-Kate 2 years ago

If you love the movie, READ THE BOOK! I had to read it for school and it was the only book I’ve ever actually wanted to read

42points

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#21

“If you want to know what God thinks of money, just look at the people he gave it to.” - Dorothy Parker

215points

David Butler 2 years ago

Point made, mic drop, dab out.

47points

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#22

“When life knocks you down, stay there and take a nap.”

209points

Laura Brown 2 years ago

Sounds good to me...I love naps

48points

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#23

“Nothing says ‘you’re a loser’ more than owning a motivational poster about being a winner.”

208points

LagoonaBlueColleen 2 years ago

Every sales and marketing office ever

50points

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#24

“Not everything is a lesson. Sometimes you just fail.” - Dwight Schrute

207points

Mer Mellow 2 years ago

one sec.. let me show this to my teacher...

37points

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#25

“Fate is like a strange, unpopular restaurant filled with odd little waiters who bring you things you never asked for and don't always like.” - Lemony Snicket

202points

-mafīafrog- 2 years ago

This is my new favorite quote

31points

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#26

“The worst part of success is trying to find someone who is happy for you.” - Bette Midler

187points

LagoonaBlueColleen 2 years ago

That is true, ain't it. ... I'm gonna start being proud of those who deserve success.

33points

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#27

“Your life can’t fall apart if you never had it together.”

182points

Laura Brown 2 years ago

Pretending I have it all together is exhausting, so I don't do that...🤪🤪

41points

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#28

“The road to success is always under construction.” – Lily Tomlin

180points

Laura Brown 2 years ago

And full of potholes

65points

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#29

“Doing nothing is very hard to do… you never know when you’re finished.”

180points

J 2 years ago

Wow - this is a good one.

25points

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#30

“The reward for good work is more work”. – Francesca Elisia

175points

Kat Rob 2 years ago

punitive rewards

32points

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#31

“There are no stupid questions, but there are a LOT of inquisitive idiots.”

174points

Blur Davis 2 years ago

Yeah a good whole bucket load if them too

20points

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#32

“Go ahead and take risks – it gives the rest of us something to laugh at.”

167points

Erika Vanheck 2 years ago

Hold my beer

70points

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#33

“Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.” - John Benfield

161points

Auntriarch 2 years ago

And if they were crossed you'd end up with weagles

22points

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#34

“Raise your hand if you have had quite enough unsolicited advice about what should be done with any lemons that life may or may not give you.”

151points

Eat Dirt Crow 2 years ago

Unless life gives you water and sugar, that's going to be some crappy lemonade.

70points

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#35

“There’s always someone on Youtube that can do it better than you.”

149points

LagoonaBlueColleen 2 years ago

There's always someone who can do it better, and someone who can do it worse.

55points

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#36

“It’s only when you look at an ant through a magnifying glass on a sunny day that you realize how often they burst into flames.” - Harry Hill

146points

Olgierd Wiśniewski 2 years ago

This makes sense, some problems appear only when we are looking for them

62points

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#37

“Every day is Friday when you’re unemployed.”

133points

LagoonaBlueColleen 2 years ago

People still, traditionally, work Friday. It would make more sense to say it's always Saturday.

22points

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#38

“You’re naturally funny because your life is a joke.”

115points

Mer Mellow 2 years ago

And I took that personally🥲😂

36points

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#39

“The meaning of life is to find your gift. So good luck with that.”

104points

harry Henderson 2 years ago

Life is a joke but you missed punchline

33points

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#40

"Challenging yourself... is a good way to fail." - Dom Mazzetti

95points

LostSage 2 years ago

This also goes with trying something new, however, while both challenging oneself and trying new things might be a good way to fail in the short term... they are also both great to succeed in the long term.

8points

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#41

“If at first, you don’t succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.”

42points

Raven DeathShade 2 years ago

Uh...maybe don't show this to my parents. Or my siblings. One will murder us, the others will burn their schoolbooks.

7points

#42

“Life is what happens when you’re busy reading inspirational quotes.”

41points

J 2 years ago

😂

5points

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#43

“Stubbornness – because somebody has to be right and it might as well be me.”

40points

Mer Mellow 2 years ago

Sounds like my sister ngl

2points

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#44

“The best things in life are actually really expensive.”

39points

Kona Pake 2 years ago

How about the second best things in life?

3points

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#45

“The secret of my success? I make a list of things not to do, and then I check them off as I don’t do them.”

39points

Geeki Nikki 2 years ago

I love this

4points

#46

“We learn from experience that men never learn anything from experience.” - George Bernard Shaw

38points

Kristen Kircher 2 years ago

https://i0.wp.com/laughbreak.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/03/The-men-have-spoken.jpg?w=600&ssl=1

0points

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#47

“Life is 10% what happens to you, and 90% how much money you have.”

38points

Shailaoverkait 2 years ago

true

2points

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#48

“Life’s a bitch, and then you die.”

37points

Ashley Piasecki 2 years ago (edited)

My mom used to say this 😅

4points

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#49

“Never give up. Never stop trying to exceed your limits. We need the entertainment.”

37points

Geeki Nikki 2 years ago

Please hold your applause.

4points

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#50

“It’s not just Monday. Your whole life sucks.”

36points

Shailaoverkait 2 years ago

agreed

1point

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#51

“If you never believe in anything, you’ll never be disappointed.”

36points

Eat Dirt Crow 2 years ago

Not true, I believe things can always get worse...

13points

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#52

“Hope is the first step on the road to disappointment.” - Cassern S. Goto

35points

Mer Mellow 2 years ago

"The sun will come out tomorrow!"...They said a month ago

2points

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#53

“When you think you’re screwed, remember we’re all on a big, wet ball floating in the dark.”

35points

LagoonaBlueColleen 2 years ago

And the only thing giving us light is the closest star we revolve around. Any light we create ourselves is not enough, but a temporary fix to see what the hell we're trying to do.

11points

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#54

“It’s true hard work never killed anybody, but I figure, why take the chance?” – Ronald Reagan

33points

Neir Lucan 2 years ago

He's bound to have been honest at some point, I guess

6points

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#55

“I look at the world and see a rainbow of people who all suck in different ways.“

32points

Riya Charles 2 years ago

I like it

6points

#56

“Everyone has a purpose in life. Perhaps yours is watching television.” - David Letterman

31points

Mer Mellow 2 years ago

This...This speaks to me

5points

#57

“The elevator to success is out of order. You’ll have to use the stairs, one step at a time.” – Joe Girard

31points

Eat Dirt Crow 2 years ago

This one is more inspirational than not.

17points

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#58

“Every day is a new chance for you to screw up again.”

31points

Mer Mellow 2 years ago

...Sounds about right

4points

#59

“I always arrive late at the office, but I make up for it by leaving early” – Charles Lamb

31points

Eat Dirt Crow 2 years ago

You'll eventually come so late and leave so early that you'll pass yourself going the other way.

11points

#60

“Meetings – none of us is as dumb as all of us.”

31points

Kona Pake 2 years ago

The sum of the IQ of a group at a meeting is less than the individual.

3points

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#61

“Get to work – you aren’t being paid to believe in the power of your dreams.”

31points

#62

“Life better be a destination because this journey sucks.”

30points

Neir Lucan 2 years ago

Pretty sure the destination is death

6points

#63

“Trying is the first step toward failure.” - Homer Simpson

29points

#64

“Life hack: you can’t do anything wrong if you don’t do anything at all.”

29points

Kona Pake 2 years ago

Vice a versa.

1point

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#65

“Getting fit is all about mind over matter. I don’t mind, so it doesn’t matter.”

29points

#66

“If you give up on your dreams that may free up some time to get some actual stuff done.”

29points

#67

"Every dark cloud has a silver lining, but lightning kills hundreds of people each year who are trying to find it."

29points

#68

“If you changed everything about you, I’d love you just the way you are.”

28points

#69

“If at first, you don’t succeed, then skydiving definitely isn’t for you.” - Steven Wright

27points

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#70

“Interns – the experience we’re giving you is invaluable. That’s why we’re not paying you anything.”

27points

Cecilia Matthews 2 years ago

Good judgement comes from experience. And experience comes from bad judgement. Quote from Dr Kerr L White.

3points

#71

“If the world didn’t suck we’d all fly into space.”

26points

Kona Pake 2 years ago

For shua…

1point

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#72

“Some people are born losers, others have to learn the hard way.”

26points

Taylor Keane 2 years ago

Trump and company

6points

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#73

“When work feels overwhelming, remember that you’re going to die.”

25points

Micah 2 years ago

Reminding myself that it will (hopefully) all be over some day (i.e. any day), is actually a good motivator for me.

0points

#74

“Don’t cry because it’s over. Smile because if you don’t, everyone will ask you what’s wrong.”

25points

Neir Lucan 2 years ago

Words I live by

1point

#75

“TEAMWORK: A few harmless flakes working together can unleash an avalanche of destruction.” - Justin Sewell

24points

Nurichwersonst 2 years ago

Mistakes are for beginners. Experts are producing catastrophes.

7points

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#76

“The light at the end of the tunnel has been turned off due to budget cuts.” - Steven Wright

24points

#77

“You have to make the good out of the bad because that is all you have got to make it out of.” - Robert Penn Warren

23points

#78

“I'm sure the universe is full of intelligent life. It's just been too intelligent to come here.” - Arthur C. Clarke

23points

#79

“It’s all downhill from here.”

23points

Nathaniel 2 years ago

From birth?

5points

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#80

“He who laughs last didn’t get the joke.” - Charles de Gaulle

22points

#81

“There’s no limit to what you can be if you lie to yourself.”

22points

tom 2 years ago

Trump is living proof

5points

#82

“You thank God daily, but have you ever once heard a ‘You’re welcome’?”

21points

SillySparklyGirl 2 years ago

Yes - every time I see puppies, kittens, baby animals of any kind really. Every cloudless blue sky day. Every rainbow. Every hearty laugh with people I love. The feeling I get from being good to a stranger. Every morning I wake. I hear "you're welcome" from God in countless ways. ❤️

12points

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#83

“There is plenty of fish in the sea, none of them want to date you either.”

21points

J 2 years ago

This comment has been deleted.

1point

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#84

“Everyone’s good at something, and you’re the best at not being good at anything.”

21points

Metallicd3ath 2 years ago

This one describes me.

1point

#85

“Pulling together – only works when you’re not jerking in opposite directions like idiots.”

21points

Eat Dirt Crow 2 years ago

Pull, if that doesn't work, push, if that doesn't work, we're closed.

11points

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#86

“To get back my youth I would do anything in the world, except take exercise, get up early, or be respectable.”

21points

#87

“Success is just failure that hasn't happened yet.” - Latrell Sprewell

19points

#88

“When we talk to God, we’re praying. When God talks to us, we’re schizophrenic.” - Jane Wagner

19points

Kona Pake 2 years ago

Schizophrenic is just another word used by high priced specialists. Now you owe him $200 for the hour.

1point

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#89

“Quitters never win, and winners never quit talking about how they won.”

19points

Eat Dirt Crow 2 years ago

If winners never quit, and quitters never win, what idiot came up with "quit while you're ahead"?

7points

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#90

“Better discourage a man’s climbing than help him to break his neck.”

19points

#91

“Life is hard, but it’s even harder if you’re stupid.”

18points

LagoonaBlueColleen 2 years ago

I'd say it's the opposite. When you're highly educated no one believes you because everyone else cannot and/or will not accept the facts. You go around life able to see the stupid in the world and able to see how power and smarts don't always correlate.

16points

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#92

“The only thing all of your failures have in common is you.”

18points

#93

“I do not want people to be very agreeable, as it saves me the trouble of liking them a great deal.” - Jane Austen

17points

#94

“Will it be easy? Nope. Worth it? Absolutely not!”

17points

#95

“Those who doubt your ability probably have a valid reason.”

17points

#96

“I’m not lazy. I’m just highly motivated to do nothing.”

17points

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#97

“Dare to soar – with enough hot air, even losers like you can fly.”

17points

Nicole Weymann 2 years ago

Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines. (Steven Wright)

3points

#98

“You are a child of the universe. Problem is, the universe is a deadbeat dad.”

17points

Wondering Alice 2 years ago

I kind of like this one

0points

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