“Would You Stay Or Walk Away?”: 26 Situations Will Reveal Your True Deal Breaker Limits

One thing I can't STAND is dishes piled up in the sink, and especially if they don't bother to scrape the food off first.

It depends. Have they been sick or have extenuating circumstances that are similar to illness? If not, I would have a tough conversation with them and give them a chance to do what is right, walking away if they fail after that. If so, I’d help out as needed until they could get done what they needed done otherwise.

Why do I get the distinct impression that everyone, myself included, who voted "No, it's fine" meant "Nah, it's fine. I barely sleep anyways." I'm always awake at 11 this would change nothing for me.

Would not be a problem for me as I'm a night owl. But it should be communicated. "Is it ok if I vacuum at 23:00?" "23:00 is fine but please not past 23:30".

It actually wouldn't bother me except on weekends as I work graveyards. During the week I wouldn't be there at 11pm, but it's still RUDE af.

It depends on the situation. Of course I would rather have a neighbour try to maintain cleanliness. I get it, I used to do night time cleaning, but quiet chores, such as dusting and polishing. When I had the pest problem in my last place, I was deep cleaning every evening, including vacuuming. Since I was one of the tenants trying to do something about the pest problem, while others were causing the issue, I was allowed to deep clean, vacuum whenever I needed to. I tried to keep it before 11pm, but it often would go past 10pm. I was concerned my downstairs neighbour would complain, but I think he was having issues, too, since I heard him slamming cupboards or hitting things. Mgmt said not to worry about it and just do what I need to do. But for a normal situation I don't think doing any loud activity, chores is allowed past 11pm, according to noise bylaws.

They may have a neurological condition or a chronic pain illness which means their energy/ fatigue levels would be different to mine. I have autoimmune diseases.

HeavyMetalHeart

HeavyMetalHeart

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If they post all the time about doing stuff with other people, it’s a red flag. If they hardly use it and don’t post anything personal, then it seems fine.

I think relationships, kids and family should be private.

Do they keep everything private, or just you? Because if it's just you, odds are there's some one else, or they wants to keep their options open.

It depends on what they do actually post I suppose.

I’d be over the moon ,I loath social media ,so this would be a dam right , I like privacy too . Don’t use social media,he’d be a keeper lol

I need my quiet time

Ianswered no, when I meant Yes it's a dealbreaker.

See my other comment. No flatmates, ever.

To be clear, I don't blame them for it and they should be able to have friends over... but I'm an introvert and one roommate is stressful enough.

I've worked in this type of environment. It was referred to as the bull pen.

It happened to me, from a private office just for the tiny payroll department to an open office with 30+ colleagues, most of them sales and on the phone most of the time. It was impossible to concentrate, I had to leave!

I'm in an (Australian) government department where all except the Assistant Secretaries and above are out on the floor, presumably due to all this "encourage collaboration" idea. Then COVID hit and we all worked from home. And continued working from home after the pandemic abated. And guess what, we all collaborate greatly despite none of us rarely being in the office at the same time as anyone else, and half the team being in other states anyway. If your team has dickheads in it then it doesn't matter what office topography you have; and conversely if you have a team of great people, you don't have to herd them all together. I've lost count of the number of times in the past that people were shunted from one part of the floor to another (at great tax payer expense since only removalists could move the boxes even if was just ten metres) in the name of "improve collaboration"

I need privacy and solitude, without both of those I'm not working there

Drop Bear from Hell

Drop Bear from Hell

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I worked in an area whereby i was alone and it was so peaceful...no problem concentrating. I was ordered to move to another desk to sit next to a woman who sang opera all day, was loud and histrionic about everything. I refused based on the noise levels and it turned into a nightmare. - realised it was a manager trying to get rid of me to offer my job to one of her mates.....

I answered No because while it is unacceptable it isn't worth the fight - you don't alienate your best friend over a bloody phone charger. I simply wouldn't loan them anything else from that point on.

Funny sort of best friend.

Not gonna fight over this, but durch was the last time he borrowed anything

You borrow something you return it in the same (or better) condition.

Uncle Panda

Uncle Panda

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I loaned them an old one for this very reason.

I have a friend who is ALWAYS late. She made me wait for her several times (usually for about 20-30 minutes). Once she totally forgot about our meeting (although it was written in our whapp conversation). So I set new rules: if we need to go to an event together and she's late, I'll go in without her. If she wants us to meet, she comes at my place - but I'll never wait for her in the street again.

Only acceptable if they also bring me coffee, how I like it.

Wouldn’t be in that situation anyway , carpooling wasn’t a thing when I worked lmao I either walked cycled or drove 🤷‍♀️

I tried archery once and I'm happy to leave it to Mr Auntriarch. Admittedly he's never even tried belly dancing, but just trying to visualise it would probably make my head explode. Or possibly tear a hole in the space time continuum.

There's a difference between not trying someone's hobbies, and hating on them. Hating on someone's hobbies is a red flag in most contexts.

Gotta give at least one a shot to show a bit of interest. My thing was antique street faires. He finally came with & loved it. So as I said, gotta give it a shot.

He's just being honest. It's healthy for couples to have their own, individual interests and hobbies.

Totally fine. I've dated some interesting people over the years. Former Soviet Army, practicing witchcraft, s*x workers. It's good to keep an open mind.

I dunno. The first time I really confronted this was as an 18yo traveling Europe with three friends via Eurorail passes. 3 of us had the 2-month unlimited 1st class (don’t think it’s still available) & one had the 2nd class. He had a miserable experience compared to us. Also, he couldn’t upgrade to ICE, Thalys & hotel trains for the same rate as us so it created scheduling conflicts. Felt so bad for him. I vowed never again & will always pay for a friend’s upgrade rather than downgrade myself. Be it transportation, lodging or dining. I’d rather fork over a little more cash to assure our dining is an experience rather than eat at a cheap chain restaurant, in most cases.

Splitting the bill makes sense. But down to the last cent? Nah. If someone's that frugal that they fret over pennies, then IME they tend to have other grabby traits too, being ungenerous in their emotions and behaviours

Uncle Panda

Uncle Panda

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When the waiter takes your order, quietly lead with, "Mine will be on a separate check."

Absolutely a deal breaker. In that situation, two orders and two bills, so if you get a small meal and mineral water, you don't end up paying for their entrées and desert and hideously overpriced wine... Instead, you both order what you're comfortable with.

You are dating someone with whom you are incompatible in the long term. Deal breaker?

I have two friends who have been best friends since school (nearly 60 years ago). They have opposite political views and often argue about them, but they are still clearly best friends. They have referred to each other as "right of Atilla the Hun" and "left of Chairman Mao". Weirdly, in the 15 or so years I've known them, they have slowly reversed their opinions, so the previous left wing one is now quite conservative whilst the previous right winger is now quite liberal. It scared the life out of me the first time they got into it in a bar one evening when we were all on a cycling holiday together, but I understand now this is just part of their friendship, not the end of it. Both got a beer fine for their behaviour that evening! They still bicker about politics, but now I know about it, I just butt out and leave them arguing passionately with each other whilst I enjoy my beer and try not to hear them.

"Completely opposite political views" - for me that means extremist, fasc1st, pro-russia, pro-putin, pro-MAGA, anti-democracy, anti-Europe. Why would I date such an individual?