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People Reveal 45 Of Their Most Uncomfortable Family Secrets In This Online Group
Every family has some secrets. Sometimes the adults wanting to protect young children don’t tell them everything that is going on and when the children grow up, they are in a little bit of a shock to realize that they didn’t know some of the important things about their families. But some of the things can get really dark and could be a little bit too much for a child to handle.
Reddit user Flash_Dimension asked other users "Once you were old enough, what were the dark family secrets you were finally let in on?" And people really didn‘t hold back spilling all the beans. Some of the stories are darker than others. Bored Panda compiled a list of the most interesting and surprising family secrets that people have shared.
More info: Reddit
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#1
My father was a dentist as was his step father. They shared an office until my grandfather died when I was 5. Dad practiced in the front office while the older back office was kept in pristine shape but unused as far as I could tell. I thought it was out of some kind of respect for his step mother who continued to live above it.
Many years later I was comparing old dental instruments scavenged from his office with my younger brother. I showed him a giant curved forcep wondering what the hell he used that for. “Oh, didn’t you know he used to do abortions in the rear office”?
I didn’t but a lot of pieces finally fell into place; the late nights at the office, the cash and often bartered items that patients often paid with.
I was too innocent I suppose as I left for college to be let in on his secret but my younger stay at home brother was not.
Shock was quickly overcome with pride and joy. There’s nothing good about illegal abortions except when they are desperately desired by the people with the most need and the least means. My father had a reputation for kindness and flexibility in billing. If you needed work done, it would get done and best of all done well by all accounts, “see this temporary bridge, Doc put that in 15 years ago and I ever had to go back”. He was an unhappy dentist with a surgeon’s hands but surgery was not an option for Black men in the 40s. I imagine that he provided high quality health services to hundreds of women who otherwise might have ended up in the ER or worse.
(Anti-abortionists, please hold your fire, it’s just a memory and reflection)
Eslamala 4 years ago
I live in a shìthole country where abortion is not 100% legal, only under certain circumstances, and people like your dad are heroes.
Deborah B 4 years ago
I think he sounds like a very courageous and compassionate man. As a dentist he would have understood sterile procedure, and had access to the appropriate supplies and sterilisation equipment. Illegal abortions were often hugely risky to the mother, and infection, sepsis and death were common in unsterile conditions. He probrably saved the lives of many women, at great personal risk, as he could easily have lost his licence and his freedom.
Thindy 4 years ago
I don't favor abortion, but they should still be safe and legal for those women who are in need.
Mz Phit 4 years ago
I don't think many people actually truly "favor" them... it is one of the most agonizing choices that women might be forced to make- often under very difficult circumstances. I agree it is vitally important that the procedure be safe and available for all women, particularly those in difficult circumstances. AND.. I would add that affordable supportive counseling and potentially also limited economic support should be offered to women with surprise pregnancies - no matter what choice they ultimately make.
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Jaiforjesus 4 years ago
Not at all. God hates those who shed innocent blood
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Agnes Jekyll 4 years ago
My grandmother used to say, "of course I believe in abortion, I've seen too many women die with coat hangers inside them." I never knew this because by the time I came around, safe abortions were available to most women, but she said it to my mom. My grandmother had seven miscarriages. She wanted children and almost died trying to have them, but she would never deny another woman her choice, and she would never let her husband take her to the Catholic hospital when she was pregnant, because they would let her die there by putting the foetus' life above hers.
Jaiforjesus 4 years ago
Women so desperate to kill their babies they Jill themselves AND their babies. Abortion is murder
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DarkLumiya 4 years ago
I live in a banana republic where abortions are only legal if your life is in danger, people like your father are the real heroes
H Edwards 4 years ago
They are not even legal under those circumstances in Malta.
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Mark Howell 4 years ago
I admire people with your fathers convictions. Do a job and do it to the best of your abilities and charge what the client thinks it is worth. As for the 'illegal' abortions, he saved alot of women from a lot worse or even death. He is a hero without a cape.
Kika González 4 years ago (edited)
If you're going to be a jerk, don't comment! You do not have the right to judge if you don't know the circumstances AND have faults of your own.
RELATED:
#2
Not very much a secret, but took me until I was older to understand what was happening.
My mom would sometimes have us play a game called “army” which consisted of me, my mom, and my siblings army crawling around our apartment. Kind of a hide n seek style game. She would yell “hit the deck!” randomly and we would all drop and find a hiding spot. We would giggle and giggle while my mom army crawled around looking for us. We loved the game so much.
I realized a few years ago while retelling the story that we lived in a really terrible neighborhood, and she would yell it out when she heard gunshots outside the building. I’m assuming she was worried about stray bullets.
Edit: I shared everyone’s amazing comments with my mom, and she shed a tear. She feels very appreciated on international woman’s day today!
HammerzToe 4 years ago
Good for her but on the other hand how tragic that ANY person should have to live under such conditions
Debbra W 4 years ago
I lived in a pretty nice neighborhood and we still got shot at several times over the years. The times now are still full of good, and evil
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Isaac7lego 4 years ago
my mom did this once, some dude got shot outside our house at the bus stop, that was why we moved.
#3
Gramma didn’t decide to move in with us because she loved us so much and wanted to spend more time with us. Gramma moved in because her son was a meth addict and convinced her to put his name on the house, take all the money out of it “for renovations,” and leave her homeless. She had a heart attack the night she found out and now has to live with a pacemaker. F*** you Uncle Roy.
Eslamala 4 years ago
And this is one of the many reasons I have no sympathy nor empathy at all for junkies.
Pervinca 4 years ago (edited)
The problem is that they are extremely sick and with your mentality the problem will remain. In our society we have decided to not kill people if they become burden (that will be the easiest way), so the only solution is to help them, putting them (even force them) in rehab facility for all the needed time (sometimes years). Pay taxes to maintain these institutions and train emphatetic and strong people to work there. Prevention is the best medicine, but if these wasn't possible, hate isn't the solution. If you want to control and rehabilitate these people you have to understand their problem.
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deanna woods 4 years ago
Uncle Roy sounds like a terrible person and I hope he gets his in the end.
#4
My cousins lived with us for a while and we thought that was fun because it's like a sleep over every day. One time our mom even took us out of school to pick them up.
I learned later that it was because child protective services took my cousins away from their mom because of mental health issues. My mom offered to take her sister's kids until she got her mental health back in order.
My cousins live with their mom now and their mom is in a much better condition mentally.
ProfessionalTimeWaster 4 years ago
This is not dark, this is heartwarming! So nice of the mom to step up and take responsibility of her nieces/nephews.
deanna woods 4 years ago
Mental health issues can be hard to raise children around, and that was amazing of your mom to give these kids a safe place to be. I hope your aunt continues to get better.
Celtic Pirate Queen 4 years ago
We went "camping" for about a month when I was around 10. It wasn't until I was in my 20's that I realized we were actually homeless and living in our car.
Lisa Chambers 4 years ago
Hey stuff happens. It helped your cousins that they had a soft place to land with you and your family.
Colleen Garland 4 years ago
This is a wonderful story. You got to learn the right thing to do is always the best. And you had fun with your cousins. Score.
#5
My dad used to send me birthday cards every year when I was a young girl (my mother left my dad while pregnant with me for good reason), even though I never got to meet him when I was young I was glad to still receive a card from him with a few bucks acknowledging I was alive and that he did one day want to see me.
Around 14-15 I learned that my mother had written every single one of those letters and my grandfather would mail it to ourselves to make it seem legit. I never ever actually received any letter from him.
Edit: I didn’t expect this comment to blow up as I slept but I wanted to answer a few questions that I got!
My dad was a pretty terrible guy. Without airing all my family’s dirty laundry, he was a sexual abuser. I did eventually meet him two times: once at my aunt’s funeral at 17 where he wrote me a long letter about how he wished he was better, and once when I was 19 when he tried to establish a relationship. He gave me terrible vibes and I never answered his attempts to reach out after that, and I’m happier this way.
My mom raised 2 kids by herself. Unfortunately my family has its issues. My family suffers from alcoholism and my mother has deep mental health issues. Growing up with her wasn’t always easy and still isn’t now — some days she is lucid and a wonderful mother. Other days she’s violent and unstable. But I know deep down inside her where she is well and unafflicted by her illness she is an incredible mother and kind. I just have to accept that she is unwell and try to remember good times. My family and I are estranged these days but it makes me want to work harder to be a stable and loving mother if I do become one someday. At the end of everything I do still love my mom and am thankful she shielded me from him.
Thank you guys. I’m so sorry to read your stories of similar things happening to you. My inbox is always open if anyone ever needs to talk/vent. Be well everyone.
HammerzToe 4 years ago
You rock as a daughter, your mom is lucky to have you. And never forget that the family of the heart is much more powerful in your life than the family of blood. Many times they are one in the same, sometimes not.
Mark Howell 4 years ago
I have my own problems.But wish you well on your journey and hope all works out well for you.
Duchess Raven Waves 4 years ago
My father was and still is a pedophile. The breaking point for me was finding evidence. Hard evidence. He had a box of souvenirs. One was a garter that went to a French maid costume that belonged to my 14 year old cousin. Along with one of her bellybutton rings. Be glad you werent raised by that.
deanna woods 4 years ago
My family has mental illness and addiction issues and we have had to deal with some crazy situations. I have anxiety and depression issues and there have been times that my family becomes concerned about what I will do. My dad's sister had several addictions in her life. She was a drinker and then she got addicted to pain medication. My family also has some sexual abuse in its past. My mom was molested by her stepfather and my aunt was molested by my father's father. I hope that your family is able to work through all of their issues.
#6
Mine is more cool that horrifying on the sense I’m proud of this one.
My grandfather was an amazing guy. He was a sniper-paratrooper in WW2. Always refused to talk about the army. I learned later that he was dishonorably discharged after injury. Turns out the Sargent in his squad was an absolute bastard. He had to go behind enemy lines to set a post up, and the plane was flying too low for a safe jump. He protested it to the Sargent who proceeded to shove him out of the plane after calling him a coward. Both my grandfather and his spotter partner were seriously injured in the landing. His partner (never knew him) was paralyzed and lost a leg. My grandfather broke both of his, his arm, hand, and some ribs.
They both were rescued shortly after and taken to a military hospital. That’s not what got him discharged, though. Turns out the Sargent showed up to visit them in the infirmary, and my grandfather punched him square in the face with his only good hand, twice. If his only army buddy we ever knew is to be believed, (he was also visiting at the time) he floored the bastard. After that, and on top of his injuries, the army sent him home for the rest of the war.
We found out later after he passed and we had to go through his stuff a bunch of newspaper and article clippings about the folks involved he had kept. the Sargent was also discharged after a similar incident cost the lives of two other members of his squad a year later that weren’t so lucky. The man apparently drunk himself to death years later. We found all these written but unsent letters to his Sargent, we found photos of my grandfathers squad and the two that died with him. It was heartbreaking. I never knew any of this. He was such a fun, kind, and goofy guy you’d never think anything like this would happen to him. Now I knew why my parents always said never to bring my up the army around him. Miss you grandpa, I’d have punched the bastard too
QueerTheory 4 years ago (edited)
My dad was a war hero, a civilian who joined the liberation war of Bangladesh against Pakistan in 1971. When i was small i would always ask him about his war stories, and he would just say he only stayed at the camp for administrative work. 5/6 years after he died, when i was 23, my siblings told me amazing stories about his missions and how he was a civilian diver who planted bombs in enemy war boats. He also had injury marks which he would refer to as falling from a tree etc. He forbade everyone to tell me those stories because he was never okay about the fact that he killed people. My older siblings learned the stories from his friends who went to war with him. War is portrayed as a heroic activity but its ugly and destroys people from the inside.
Bonnie Davis 4 years ago
Stop cutting onions!!! My Uncle was sent to Vietnam and has PTSD due to what he saw there. My Dad has told me some of what he went through over the years and that's why he told me to never ask him about it. He became an addict/alcoholic. My Dad told me that his breaking point was when he was sitting in his car at work with a loaded gun. I'm proud that he now has 30yrs clean and sober!!!
Joshua Varela-Broska 4 years ago
my uncle was a green beret and he felll out of the plane and dropped from 1000 ft and splattered on the ground he went to heaven and then he came back he died 3 times but hes still alive hes ok.
Lisa Chambers 4 years ago
You were the antithesis to that man whose bad decisions and giant ego altered your grandfather's life. I wish I could say things are different in the military now, but...there are piles of cases and safety reports that say no.
Susan Widomski 4 years ago
Never heard a single story from my dad as he was in the Korean war and served two voluntary tours in Viet Nam. Maybe that was what made him such a bastard.
Dave In MD 4 years ago
Calling BS on this one. A sergeant would have no control over the altitude the plane was flying at and if he was on the plane, he would be jumping too. And while it is possible, I have never heard of a sniper team being inserted by parachute during WWII. I think This person only has knowledge of current military situations and created a story but tried to make it sound old be saying they parachuted instead of being inserted by helicopter.
MCathenaE 4 years ago
More than likely,, since their grandfather never told them the story, they had to insert the missing pieces themselves from the info from the articles they discovered.
Load More Replies... #7
i didnt have an imaginary friend who moved, I had a twin brother who died from a bee allergy when i was too young to remember much
Paul Budhram 4 years ago
shut up, i'm not... i'm not... not... 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
#8
Grandma’s top secret pie crust was actually just Marie Calender’s from the grocery store, set in a fancier dish. She messed with her daughters-in-law for years over it.
Foxxy (The Original) 4 years ago
Reminds me of an episode of Friends where Phoebe and Monica try recreating Phoebes grandmas biscuit recipe but it turns out they were boxed biscuits you could get from the shops.
M O'Connell 4 years ago
My Grandmothers' "amazing pound cake" on a handwritten card is an exact copy of the recipe from inside a box of Imperial margarine.
#9
My grandmother’s first husband was extremely abusive, but this was the 60s and he hid it well. She couldn’t file for divorce without proof of injury, so she beat herself in the face with a slipper to get away. She was 21 or 22 or so- with 3 young children. I’m 23 right now and I could never imagine. She was such a strong lady, I miss her!
Mimi 4 years ago
She needed to prove she was hurt, so she hurt herself with a slipper as proof of what he did.
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Mark Stewart 4 years ago (edited)
I'm going to assume 'he hid it well' means he never left a mark so no obvious injuries. Beating herself with the slipper hard enough to leave bruises meant she had her proof to be able to petition for divorce.
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#10
My cousins used to stay with us a lot, I remember my male cousin was a just a small baby when he first came to us. He would scream and scream and scream all night, and mum put him in my room so I used to spend the night cuddling him or playing peekaboo. My other cousin was my age (5) at the time. I found out later, my auntie was a heroin addict and a sex worker. My cousins were the result of clients and my male cousin was actually born whilst my auntie was heavily using and he was going through withdrawal after his birth. My grandparents ended up flying in from Wales and taking custody of them as well as putting my auntie on a plane and leaving with all of them. It was one of the saddest days of my life that I never understood... I thought they were going to be my brother and sister and wasn’t sure why all of a sudden they were taken from me.
Edit: Wow, thank you so much for the awards! I’ve just woken up and have loads to read through. For those asking, my Auntie made it out of that life. She prefers to be alone and doesn’t have anything really to do with the family. She still lives in the same village as my grandparents. Them being taken was always something that upset me so much, but was swept under the rug so much I thought I was being dramatic. Seeing all your comments is so validating and I thank you for that.
Susan Widomski 4 years ago
Sorry you went through this. There are so many people scarred by their family lives.
Lisa Chambers 4 years ago
Family can be a safe place to land or a horrible reason to run. Heartwarming to see it was the former for you.
#11
I'm still at least one families secret! I'm adopted and found my Biological Father, he begged me not to reach out to any of my half siblings as it would "ruin his life and standing in the community". The sad thing is I'm not even his first secret child, I have an older half sister that he also begged not to reach out to family. So that's two kids he's had because he cheated on his wife. I can only imagine how often he cheats to have at least two women end up pregnant...My half sister and I call 23andMe (how we met) "23andMark" because who knows how many more kids he might have out there. Pretty sure he's been terrified since at home DNA kits became a thing.
Edit: A word.
Second Edit and Additional info: First, I can finally say it, RIP my inbox! I tried to answer as many of you as I could but I thought I'd clear up some of the most repeated questions here: Why don't I tell his wife? I don't need to, she already knew about my Half Sister and now me because she answered his phone when I first called asking questions and promptly told me to leave her family the Hell alone. Screw him asking me to stay quiet, why don't I blow up his life/reach out to my Half-Siblings? It is largely because of my Half Siblings that I haven't done anything. I did not sign up to be a wrecking ball or to destroy a family. Imagine finding out everything you knew about your Dad was a lie in the worst way possible. I know I'd be devastated. I may not have met them but they are my Half Siblings. They are just as innocent in this as I am, I don't want to be the one to hurt them like that. I really hope that he will realize he can't keep a secret like this forever and come clean himself. Why not mail his kids DNA kits anonymously? Realistically it's only a matter of time before one of them gets curious and does it on their own or gets gifted one from an unwitting family member/friend. Why don't I blackmail/extort the bastard? he's a terrible person, he should pay! It's pretty simple, that's just not the kind of person I am. I don't want his money, I never have. I go to bed every night with a clear conscience which is more than I can say for him and that's worth more than anything money could buy in my opinion. I have a roof over my head, a Husband who loves me, a beautiful Daughter, a great Dad and two new Half Siblings I adore. From my perspective I'm already rich.
Foxxy (The Original) 4 years ago
Not just that but blackmail/extortion is illegal. Not worth getting into trouble with the law for that sperm donor.
Chantel Doering 4 years ago
You are an incredibly strong and selfless person to be willing to protect your half siblings like that, and your attitude and sense of morality is wonderful! More people in the world need that. I’m proud of you 🥰
Jenny King 4 years ago
My husband recently found out that he has 2 half sisters and a half brother, all from different mothers. One of the sisters is from the wife of my father in law's best friend!
tmw 4 years ago
am I missing a step here? how did cheater dad mark get on "23and me" to be found by two of his unacknowledged children? or did he get found via an adoption agency?
Weezie Ray 4 years ago (edited)
The father isn't on 23&me, two of his children are - OP and OP's half-sister. The site will tell you if anyone you're related to has also used the service, and that's how they found each other.
Load More Replies... HammerzToe 4 years ago
You, my dear, are an amazing person. He really screwed up by not having you in his life.
Lisa Chambers 4 years ago
They just wanted to know who their father was. And now this person does. Nothing gained in pushing more people into his dumpster. I am sure they will all find out soon enough.
Jessica Shookhoff 4 years ago
Perfect response! And very classy. From my own personal experience, I've never regretted taking the high road.
#12
My father met my mother in the Philippines when he was stationed there in the Navy. He married her there and conceived me. He went away to finish his tour of duty. My mother moved to America when she was a month away from giving birth to me. She moved in with relatives in Texas. My father's tour ended while he was in Hawaii. He met a woman there and called my mom in America, asking for a divorce. He wanted to take back his recent marriage to her - with a kid on the way - because he had a hot one-night stand. My mother was already scared, being in a new country, not knowing much English. Add to this that she was pregnant, about to give birth, and her husband was dumping her. My Texan uncle got on a plane to Hawaii, prepared to kick my father's ass. He somehow talked my father into being a man and taking responsibility for his wife and child. The fact that the fling dumped his ass surely helped. He was back by the time I was born. I learned all this when I was eleven, around the time my parents got divorced. It was only the first of countless "dark family secrets" I would come to learn during my teenage years.
Whatshername 4 years ago
Yeah, kinda. I mean, in the end it didn't last and who knows what terrible things happened in those 11 years. Of course the uncle couldn't know back then, but in hindsight mother and child might have been better off with direct help of said uncle.
Load More Replies... #13
My grandma retired and she still decided to work for her brother in his restaurant to save up money for when she dies. Funerals are, obviously, expensive. She insisted he would hold on to her paychecks and pay for her funeral when she dies. He never did.
Foxxy (The Original) 4 years ago
Such a d**k move. Anyone who chooses money over family doesn’t deserve their family.
Weezie Ray 4 years ago
Maybe you misunderstood, or maybe you're so blinded by misogyny that you automatically jump to stupid conclusions. In any case - her funeral was meant to be paid for with *her money*, money that she worked for in her brother's restaurant. I assume that her brother, then, would plan to pay for his funeral in the same way - with money that he worked for.
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Inigo Montoya 4 years ago
My great uncle passed recently. His last wish was to be buried in Puerto Rico next to his daughter (who is deceased). If I understand correctly, his daughter paid for a funeral and a burial in the state he lived in without consulting her siblings or his siblings.
#14
Grandma had 13 siblings, of those 7 women are still alive. Once a year they have a “sister day” where they all except one are going somewhere to have fun. They’ve been doing this since they were teens. All but one sister, who has been lied to her whole life about sister day, because she thinks it doesn’t exist. This is supposed to have been started when that one sister borrowed something and didn’t give it back. Or something trivial like that. We are all reminded whenever we ALL get together (pre pandemic) that we’re not to talk about this, because it will hurt that sister. Still can’t wrap my head around how backstabbing b****y some family members of mine are. Because this is just stupid.
Rebecca Respect2Glory 2 years ago
That's really a tough call because telling will probably cause pain and division. But, those who don't partake will add some worth to themselves.
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Anna Simpson 4 years ago
Nah I don't buy it. All 6 of them are in agreement over *something* that happened to do with the 7th. It seems more likely that the original poster doesnt have all the information and there is more to the story than they've been told. My two sisters dont speak because one "told something she shouldve kept in confidence". The reality is much deeper, more meaningful, hurtful and private.
Kari Panda 4 years ago
While that might be true, they still seem to talk to that seventh sister in general. I‘d understand if they didn‘t want any more contact with her, but merely excluding her on that one day seems awfully odd :/
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Marvin HeartofGold 4 years ago
Oh I just found out recently that something similar to this is happening in my family. my "mother" and aunt and a couple girl cousins vacation together and don't invite me and my sis. We found out because an "accidental invitation" got sent out that they tried to pretend wasn't real.
#15
That my cousin was actually my half-brother. Mom got pregnant in college and my aunt and uncle adopted him. And, that my dad wasn't my biological father. Mom and dad got divorced, she got pregnant by another man, and my dad wasn't able to have kids of his own so they got remarried and he raised me as his own.
Lorelei 4 years ago
Indeed!My dad had to work at the place we were supposed to move.He took planes back and forth,and visited often.I love him so much!
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Kai Scadden 4 years ago
Your cousin could be you brother not half brother actually(unless you were told otherwise)
#16
When my mother died I found out she had had multiple female partners before my father. I only discovered this when two of her ex's showed up to her funeral... Both of them were absolutely lovely. They told my sister and I a lot about our mom in her younger years. My mom shared so little of her past with us while she was alive, it was nice hearing about it, but also made us feel like we never really knew her at all... If you're a parent, don't let your kids discover your secrets after you are gone. I wish I could have learned about my mother's interesting and exciting life from her. Instead, I only got to see a glimmer of who she really was. I hope others let their family see the whole picture.
Sharon Ingram 4 years ago
She didn’t know you would find it “interesting and exciting.” It was her experience and in that time she knew how it would be received.
C.S. E. 4 years ago
And, in all fairness, it was HER life. She didn't have to share it with her children. Her relationships were her relationships. I found out my mother was married before my father (found while doing family research), but I've never asked - it's none of my business. The secrets that should be told are those that could affect you medically. Even then, just the basics. They will reveal what they are comfortable revealing. Just accept that you will never, and I mean NEVER, fully know anyone other than yourself. Unless you can read minds, of course.
Load More Replies... Susan Widomski 4 years ago
10000% with you. When my mom died, I found out she had been in the Army when she met my dad. Prior to that she had been married to someone else and had a child. The child was given to their father to raise. Also, my grandfather came to live with us in Germany and died there. He and my mother were disowned by his family and they changed their names and I don't know why. I have been trying to find this sibling for years and hoping one of the DNA places will encourage them to get in touch with me. so, instead of being the eldest child, I was the middle child. Weird feeling.
Lucy Shupe 4 years ago
This is very true tell your kids the truth. My husband and I did this with our oldest daughter. We told her when she understood how long babies took to get here. We didn’t want her to figure out on her own that I was 5 months pregnant when we got married. Today she is a successful, loving, mother and wife. I sometimes wonder how I would have handled it, if she figured it out on her own.
Anna Simpson 4 years ago
I can appreciate the interest and curiosity that comes with finding out new information about who a parent dated before you were born but on the other hand, you are their child, not their friend. Why would she tell you verse and chorus about previous partners and why on earth would they think it was appropriate to approach you after the funeral to tell you things your mum chose not to?
Kai Scadden 4 years ago
My mom never dated anyone except my dad.married 13 years now.I'm 13 I was born the year they got married
Bonnie Davis 4 years ago
This is why my son knows everything about my addiction and his abusive bio father. I've never spoken badly about him like calling him Satan's son or evil Rat Bastard ect as I think it's wrong to involve children in adult issues but he does know some of the things he's done to me...I only talk about it when he asks.
Lisa Chambers 4 years ago
Well people are not always as open to receive the truth. She might have thought you both would judge her harshly which may have crushed her.
#17
Got a Facebook message from one guy asking if I was related to [my dad], since it's not a common last name. I thought he was a fan of his work, because I was in college at the time and the guy was about the same age as me. And that's how I found out my dad slept around and that I had a half-brother the same age as me.
Sharon Ingram 4 years ago
I hope you and your half-brother got along and enjoyed a relationship. Not his fault your dad was a d**k.
Wandaluzt 4 years ago
Sharon, you keep replying to these people. They posted on Reddit. They're not going to see your comments.
Load More Replies... #18
My step grandfather has always been an alcoholic. As a child he even taught me how to mix his favourite drink. As kid at like 6 years old I would mix his drink as he liked and bring it in to him in the living room. (Don’t ask what the drink was a mix off cause I literally can’t remember) and my grandpa always acted “funny”. I always liked spending time with him cause I found him funny. So I never saw the bad side of his alcoholism and he never made me drink or anything so overall he didn’t have any negative impact on me at all, but before I was born he could get so drunk he threatened to kill my grandma and when he got in a car accident and came home he was bleeding badly from his head and he started saying my granny shot him. He even threw out some of the wedding pictures my parents had. I never knew how horrible he was. Maybe cause he liked kids or something. He would make me cocoa and watch Garfield with me when I was a kid, he was never a bad influence in my life. So it was so weird to me when I found out these things about him. Before he died tho, he really regretted drinking, and he completely stopped. He became really depressed too until his granddaughter (biological) was born. He was so happy about his granddaughter. He died regretting everything and a sober man who was happy to have been able to meet his one and only biological granddaughter. Regardless of everything he really changed in the end and everyone was really upset he died.
Celtic Pirate Queen 4 years ago
That could have been my grandmother. I learned how to mix a 7&7 when I was about 7. Grandpa died when I was 5 and she never remarried. Had no idea what an alcoholic was until I hit my teens. She was awesome and my biggest fan/supporter. Not sure if she ever quit drinking, but she quit smoking far too late. She died of emphysema when I was 20.
Sentinel 4 years ago
A bit of similarity with my grandpa. He didnt have any negative impact on me, in fact, awe have a lot of good memories. But i’ve always heard bad stories about him from my uncles & father. The things he did before i was born, all the domestic violence on his family, were horrible. So i feel conflicted that i love him.
M Kate McCulloch 4 years ago
Similar. My grandfather beat his wife and kids and was horribly verbally abusive and it always baffled my dad how much I adored him. Never knew any of the horrible stuff until after he died.
#19
My aunt started the communist party in her country. It got quite large, her children fled the country, and I still don't know what happened to her. EDIT: there's a reason I didn't list the country.
General kenobi 4 years ago
That’s either awesome or sad depending on which way you look at it.
Kai Scadden 4 years ago
COMMUNISM ISNT ACTUALLY BAD literally everyone that knows what it is and chooses capitalism because they want to be rich so, communism for the win
Katinka Min 4 years ago
There are a lot of options. All the ofunder so Korean comunist parties seem to have been men. But there are so many others countries who had or have one.
Load More Replies... #20
My parents were going to abort me, but his friend stopped him. My dad named me after his friend. My dad and I have a great relationship now though lol.
Helen Haley 4 years ago
Wait, neither your dad nor his friend had a uterus. How were they in charge of this?
Celtic Pirate Queen 4 years ago
I think there was a lot of that going around back in the day. I know it was discussed when Mom got pregnant with me (I found a photo of their honeymoon picture with a date on the back. August 1962 & I was born in March of 1963. Wait a minute!)
#21
When I was young I thought it was really nice that my nanna lived with my aunt and her family since she was getting on a bit and it meant she was looked after and there were always people around (aunt has 6 kids). Occasionally aunt would gripe about being the one looking after nanna since aunt is also one of many kids and being young I sympathised but given they all spent loads of time with nanna too didn't think it was a big deal (you don't think about financial responsibility when you're young I think, just social and caring). Well it turns out the reason nanna lives with aunt is because aunt and her husband convinced nanna to put the house in their name so they could "look after her affairs" and sold it out from under her and invested the money in a pyramid scheme (so it's gone now). Because of this her siblings refuse to give aunt a penny towards looking after nanna since it's her fault nanna has no money or assets and instead pay to take nanna out all the time, meals, shopping, activities so she doesn't go without but they let aunt struggle under the weight of nanna's general living expenses. (Aunts kids are all independent now so they are not going to be impacted by money problems.) Now I look back at her griping with annoyance and think what a terrible person she is.
Eslamala 4 years ago (edited)
Your aunt deserves to live until she's a hundred years old and deteriorate bit by bit over a long period of time. Fckn c*nt
Lorelai Kelly 4 years ago
You would be good at thinking of eternal punishments for particularly nasty people.
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Patti Vance 4 years ago
my late brother would have milked my late aunt out of every cent she had if he could have. as it is, when my uncle died he had an immense coin collection work a lot of money. let's put it this way: when my uncle learned to fly and wanted to buy a small cessna he did so with literally 16 cents - one dime, one nickel, and one penny. the value of those coins covered all the costs of the plane, tax, etc. after one visit from my brother one of the attache' cases with coins was missing. bless her heart, my aunt never thought it could be him but all points to it.
Lynn Morello 4 years ago
They call these things Scams now, how many people have lost all their money or savings due to scams. Unfortunately, she was taken advantage of and she fell for it.
Lisa Chambers 4 years ago
She is a criminal. I think it was just for her siblings to make that decision. But also a bit scary because she could have become abusive.
Azure Adams 4 years ago
Aunt is reaping the consequences of what she's sown and her children set appropriate boundaries with her
#22
My mother died after a few months of giving birth to me. Whenever i asked how she died the answer was that she passed away in her sleep and no one knew why. I just learnt a few years ago that she had Cancer and was pregnant with me. Giving birth to me severally weakened her and eventually led to her death. I don't think I'll be able to ever forgive myself because from what I've heard from everyone, she was a damn good woman.
Eslamala 4 years ago
She made a choice and knew the consequences... One can agree or not, but no kid chooses to be born, so it could never be your fault.
Tracy Baparam 4 years ago
She loved you more than her own life. Don't feel guilty. Be proud and grateful for a mother like that. She is your angel.
Arctic Fox Lover 4 years ago
It is not your fault! You never chose to be born, but God saw fit for you to exist, and I'm hecka glad you do.
Azure Adams 4 years ago
Not your guilt to bear. She was an adult woman who made her choices based on the info given and accepted the consequences and results. Now go live a happy life. That's what she wanted
Jane Alexander 4 years ago
Your mother is not the only one to have made that choice. A dear friend of mine lives because his mother chose him to.
#23
My father got my mother pregnant when he was her teacher in high school. He was thirty and married. She was fifteen and his student. They ran off together, he got a divorce, and they got married in a state that allowed marriage at 16, two months before my older brother was born.
Foxxy (The Original) 4 years ago (edited)
That is definitely not something for the father to be proud of so no wonder it was a secret. That is statutory rape and he should have been locked up.
Tiari 4 years ago
Since it’s posted as a „dark family secret“ I doubt she is proud of him for that.
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M Kate McCulloch 4 years ago
Consent is the first thing. I guess I'd ask my mom how she felt about the whole thing and check in on the dynamic of the parental relationship. Is she treated like an equal? Is he relatively mature? Rape to me is no consent - and pre-puberty absolutely no possibility of consent. Post-puberty the area gets gray...
Capelli rosa e patate 4 years ago
With all due respect, your father ought to be rotting in jail.
Little Panda Bear 4 years ago
Oh my I don't know what to think. No offence but it appears unethical...
Wonderful 4 years ago
"Hey honey I'm home. How was your day? Oh by the way I'm screwing my student and she is preggers soooo. It's time for you to go. Here's a couple bucks, you tell the kids, and I'm gonna throw your stuff out so my sexy 15 year old can can be comfy and make herself at home. YOLO!"
Anna roberts 4 years ago
Sue Bradley , So if I go in to rob a bank, shoot somebody who dies, but the family discovers that the person has Cancer and would have died a painful death. then I am good to go for the murder?
#24
Double whammy I suppose. Didn't look like my parents or siblings so I thought I was adopted. Ask, mom brushes it off. Dad does too. Dig, find some info, prepare my "case". Around the same time I almost get abducted, super scary, mom was mortified. After, I was sat down and told I have a different father who I look like and he had just tried to abduct me. So not adopted but man who I thought was my dad wasn't. Good times.
Jessica Shookhoff 4 years ago
So true! You become a parent through love, not just because of a biological tie.
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#25
My dad is in a cult. Wasn't much of a secret, but as a kid you just kinda assume everything your parents do is the norm.
amyamy 4 years ago
Looks like a normal picture from the Swedish Lucia holiday to me. And that's no cult but rather Swedish culture
boredkitten 4 years ago
The author of the article picked a wrong photo for the story I guess. They say it is not an actual photo.
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Lucy Skinner 4 years ago
When I was little, my parents told me that women doing all of the housework and men treating us like dirt was a part of “our culture.” This is not normal, and I am saving up to leave ASAP.
Dark_flame 4 years ago
LOL guess this picture might look like a cult for people of other cultures, but it only depicts what a celebration of Lucia (December 13th) in Sweden would look like...
noralin 4 years ago
Also other nordic countries as well. Not just Sweden.
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Birma Gustafsson 4 years ago
The Swedish Lucia-cult? Where you sing all the time, wear candles on your head, and eat ginger bread and saffron buns? Yes, we celebrate this cult every year!
Kai Scadden 4 years ago
Not really,my parents stopped going to church and everyone at school was Christian.in second grade I told a classmate I wasn't Christian and he told EVRYONE in my class the stupid moron didn't realize I was literally across the classroom from him and he was a sucky whisperer
error 404 name not found 4 years ago
cults rock! ( Im the leader of a realy chill cult, cult of the cobalt flame)
#26
My grandma actually legally disowned my mother for marrying my dad. The family house was supposed to go to my mom, but after the disowning, Grandma didn't say who she wanted house to go to, resulting in a decades long family feud that has split the family even to this day. Sad thing is, my parents actually ended up divorced after 20 years of marriage. Mom took care of my grandma til the end and was the one who handled the funeral arrangements when my grandma passed two years ago. She never asked for the house back. It's worth millions. Nobody told me any of this until I was thirty.
Leo Domitrix 4 years ago
What is it with disowning kids for who they marry? ... and I just realized I asked that knowing my dad said he'd disown his daughters if we even *dated* a non-white, and, yes, I know he was an a**hole. We weren't on good terms by the tiem I was, oh, six years old? .....
Simon Cataudo 4 years ago
My dad was conned out of my grandad’s vineyard after he died. They weren’t in touch when he passed, so my dad’s cousin (with the exact same name) pretended he was the named person in the will and took it. My dad is surprisingly blasé about it.
#27
Not so much let in on, as we found out by accident, but apparently my dad’s first love and him got into a serious car crash when he was 25 and she died. He lived with her father for years after her death. He still occasionally comes to visit my dad, even 30 years later. We were always told he was a mentor until my sister pressed my mom on the subject. One of my sister’s is even named after the girl that died (middle name) and we never even knew about her until last year. None of us have ever brought it up with him.
Stannous Flouride 4 years ago
That mom was willing to give the other woman's name to one of her daughters shows amazing compassion. She seemed to acknowledge that her deceased predecessor would always be part of her husband's life and accept it. That's true love.
#28
My grandmother ran off and had an affair, got pregnant, came back to my grandfather & they raised the baby girl together. My father and his siblings didn’t find out until they were older. I’m not sure if my aunt new the truth before she passed away. It’s also rumoured that there’s another half sibling somewhere out there so grandad seemed to be having an affair as well. Just affairs all round back in the day!
Marcellus the Third 4 years ago
There wasn't much on TV and not that much choice in sports so you had to do what you had to do...
Load More Replies... Sharon Ingram 4 years ago
Yeah, it’s happening all over. I am 64. I found out in Jan 2020 that my dad is not my bio father. Also, I have two half-siblings out there that I am searching for. I know their names, one I found on Facebook, but she has blocked me, her family convinced her I am lying. DNA doesn’t lie. She had to have been adopted or another NPE and didn’t know. The half-brother has never replied to my emails and never logs in on the DNA site, so he probably doesn’t even know. My bio father may not be alive or even know.
Dolly_of TheCowboy 4 years ago
Seems to have been quite common before no fault divorce became more legislated. People have felt trapped in marriages for probably as long as "marriage" has been around. People have been having affairs probably just as long and before reliable contraception...well. Of course some traditionalists will die on that hill declaring "modern morals and modern high divorce rates are the cause of the breakdown of society and it wasn't like that in the old days". Yup sure. Only the modern world has bad people. There have always been bad people. There are just physically bigger numbers now that we have so many people on the planet and odds are you will have to deal with one of them at some point. Some people will run off without a word because they find someone else, some lie and have affairs and have secret families, some hide pregnancies and the babies are adopted out or raised as a "surprise younger sibling", and some raise kids they know are not theirs because they are decent human beings
SlothyK8 4 years ago
My grandfather informed me (in GRAPHIC detail) while in the hospital after an aneurysm that he'd had an affair. I was shook & didn't say anything until many years after he eventually died. Some 20yrs later, my cousins told me that they know of at least four children my grandfather sired, and that my grandparents had actually been divorced since 1967 but lived together until they died. So very odd.
Carrie Roettger 4 years ago
My family could have been a few episodes of Jerry Springer all on our own plus my husband's family could have too. My grandmother had a baby at 17 in 1929 out of wedlock who had some developmental problems. My Me-me never told anyone who the father was. She tried to raise my aunt by herself and my Papa was very supportive as well but she became violent and in the 30s her doctors gave her a lobotomy and then made Me-Me institutionalize her. Me-Me would visit her every chance she got until the staff told her not to because my aunt would become very agitated. Me-Me carried that guilt until she died. The hospital staff sent her pictures of my aunt every holiday and birthday and she sent money and gifts all the time.one my dad's side it really forgets weird. My dad was married 3 times with my mom being his 3rd. He had 3 sons with his first wife who should not have ever been a mother. While he was married to his 2nd wife #1 decided she didn't want the 2 youngest boys so she sent them to my d
Carrie Roettger 4 years ago
She licked the oldest out at 14 which led him to live in a brothel and start on drugs. She told my youngest brother he was so ugly she didn't bother naming him for 3 days. Then she and my aunt (dad's sister) both got pregnant by the same language. So my half brothers have a half brother who has a half sister who is my brothers and I's cousin. The boys ran away from #2 saying daddy beat them. My dad was overseas in the Air Force. It was my dads"best friend" who was doing it l. #2 got pregnant by the bf and put my dad's name on the birth certificate. At the time he had to go to court to get the situation fixed. My youngest brother was 16 when I was born and died at 27 of a heart attack, my oldest died in 1999 (on my anniversary no less) of a drug overdose. It's such a fun family but my husband's family is far worse.
Load More Replies... #29
When my grandfather died, he wrote his will on his death bed. He left his entire estate to my family, which was enormous.
His wife however, who despised us, in the biggest f*** you move I've ever seen, wrote a directly conflicting will, leaving the estate to her family, none of whom I've ever met, and then killed herself.
It took around 5 years in legal hell to sort that out. We ended up winning the case in the end, but it cost so much that we couldn't afford to keep his $3M house anymore.
Dave P 4 years ago
something here sounds fishy, if the house was in his name, nothing she writes could ever contradict that. There must be more details.
person (i think) 4 years ago
Yeah, and there need to be witnesses to certify a will. How was there time after the grandfather died?
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CrispyPlop 4 years ago
rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr this makes me pissed as hell. bitch.
Suzanne Haigh 4 years ago
That is the problem. Families end up fighting for year until the inheritance is gone, shame they can not come to some arrangement.
#30
My mum got pregnant at 18 and I have an older sister who was adopted. Let me clarify: My mum was a boomer, and in those days, getting pregnant at 18 to someone you had no intention of marrying was Just Not Done. There's no nice way to word this, but a common way of "dealing" with it (I did say there was no nice way to word it!) was that the young woman would have the baby and the baby would be signed over to their adopted parents within a few days. I would say the young mums were pushed into this, but that implies that society gave them a choice. The impression I got (though I never dug into it in much detail) is that simply wasn't the case. "Mum, I'm pregnant" would be met with "How far along are you? Okay, pack your bags, you're going to live with Auntie Ruth for 9 months and the baby will be adopted once you've had it. There's a taxi waiting outside and your train leaves in 15 minutes. I've already called Ruth; she'll meet you at the station. See you in September. Oh, and there's some turkey left over in the fridge - make yourself a sandwich to take on the train"
Agnes Jekyll 4 years ago
I have a friend whose mother was put in jail because she was pregnant and underage and would not give up the name of father--and it was her grandmother who placed charges!!
Carrie Roettger 4 years ago
Most girls who were "sent to visit family" back then didn't go to family at all. They went to "schiols" for unwed girls or wayward girls. Keeping the baby was never a choice and a lot of times the girls never even got see their babies.
Suzanne Haigh 4 years ago
I do not think this is true. Many were put up for adoption and many taken in by the family, but the latter end was the 60's were these things just did not matter so much. Granted, more than they do today.
marianne eliza 4 years ago
All 4 of us are adopted, mostly at infancy. Born in 59, 60, 64 & 66. We always knew. Can't even remember being told.
#31
My grandfather got out of serving in Vietnam by robbing pharmacy’s and going to jail for years.
Shelley DuVal 4 years ago
Whatever works to get out of a war that should never have happened in the first place.
Samtheperson 4 years ago
Ikr so stupid. I get why the war happened but it really didn’t need to happen
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Sista of the moon 4 years ago
My grandmothers brother got out because he caught measles early on. Thank god. He wouldn’t have survived.
María Hermida 4 years ago
It was not his war. He was a smart man. If presidents, kings and politicians want wars, they should go and fight instead of sending others.
Evil Little Thing 4 years ago
My uncle did that too, but because he was a drug addict, not a draft dodger.
#32
Grand uncle Harry has had 9 wives, over 30 children, and over 100 girlfriends. He's currently 70 living in a campervan in California while e-dating his 21 year old girlfriend from Florida. His children range from 15 to 40 years old. He also groped my mom at her 18th birthday after he disappeared for over a year without contact. This all stems from when my great grandmother took him to a cult after discovering a gram of weed in his dresser. She didn't know it was a cult of course but still. Imagine Mormons mixed with heavens gate. Crazy s***. He then started an air conditioning business and made millions but has since gone bankrupt and lost his two mansions after he didn't live in them for multiple years. edit: forgot to mention, he was kicked out of the cult after a few years for repeatedly trying to hook up with girls even though it broke their "no sex before marriage" rule edit2: iirc there was at one point a support facebook group for his children and former spouses, I dunno if it's still active
#33
That schizophrenia ran in my mom’s side of the family. I developed it a year after she told me about it at 25. She didn’t refer to it as schizophrenia, but as the “(her maiden name) Madness”. She said that every once in a while someone in our family would go mad and that that’s what they would call it. I guess her side of the family also had ties to organized crime and at least one of them was a prostitute. My family never talked about issues or emotions at all so it was a shock. I assumed our ancestors were relatively normal, but I also thought my family was sane back then too.
Mary Rose Kent 4 years ago
I have a nephew with schizophrenia, which started becoming obvious when he was 16. It’s a heartbreaking thing!
Luthor 4 years ago
My family was kind of the same. We always knew, as children, that cousin so and so, great aunt so and so, great grandmother so and so etc. had problems. There were vague stories about family members being "odd" and weird tales about "the twins" who died together on a train (twins run in our family). It wasnt't until a few years ago, when my grandmother died, that I learned that the bipolar I suffer with runs in the family. Interestingly enough, some of the best family stories are about those with mental illness. They were fabulous and broke every rule. I wish my family would have been more honest. It would have changed my life.
deanna woods 4 years ago
My mom's brother has schizophrenia and other mental illnesses run in our family. Our family's mental health ranges from narcissistic personality disorder all the way to general anxiety disorder.
#34
My grandfather's brother left the family business after a feud to sell tractor parts to Africa. When I was an adult, I was told these were semi-automatic "tractor parts".
Hugh Cookson 4 years ago
I worked as a private Chef for a very well known arms dealer many years ago - interesting times, especially when he was doing deals with opposing factions but would deliberately invite both / all parties to meet and discuss stuff on the yacht. All firearms were left securely on the dock, which meant that little old me, with my sharp knives and rolling pins was often the object of very close scrutiny until we got back to port ..... He was actually a nice chap and wouldn't sell to any conflict that was deliberately targetting civilians ...
Tim Haight 4 years ago
Automatic rifles, probably AK-47s which are popular in that part of the world
#35
To put it shortly - my family tree, is more like a very long branch.
Yes we have the genetic defects to prove it.
Aria Whitaker 4 years ago
@Monty....frequently these articles will feature pics that "go along' with the story, but are not directly affiliated with it. In a story about a frog, they may post a pic of a random frog...but it is not the frog in the story. This is the same...it is a generic pic of a random family tree used as a basic illustration...it is NOT the family tree that he is discussing in the post. Hope that clears things up a bit...those pics are decorative, not informative.
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Robert Bailey 4 years ago
Yeah, this picture doesn't match the story. No wonder people are confused about this one.
AbbiTabbi 4 years ago
For people who don't get it, it is siblings marrying their siblings. This leads to genetic defects in the couple's children. In ancient times this was common especially with ruling families which is why so many rulers were weak and sickly, and died young (Well they died young for other reasons too). Their logic was to keep the ruling line strictly of the same blood but that doesn't work out so well.
N G 4 years ago
Look up the Hapsburgs. Less a tree, even one with a long branch, more a bramble
Thindy 4 years ago
Can you imagine if the Hapsburgs and the Ptolemys got involved with each other?
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ispeak catanese 4 years ago
The image has nothing to do with the secret. The OP is saying there was a lot of intermarrying in their family, they're in-bred. Cousins marrying close cousins, that kind of thing.
Rannveig Ess 4 years ago
I was confused too.....the photo has nothing to di with the person telling the story or that family tree. It's just a random photo of "a" family tree. Black Family Tree - unrelated photo and nice people. Poster's family tree - apparently actually a wreath - and they're upset about it.
#36
Not particularly dark, but I was about 45 when I found out my parents never got married. My mother just took my father’s surname and they carried on like normal. I’d always wondered why there were no wedding photos etc, but they were hippy types so I assumed they just didn’t have a traditional ceremony. Weirdest part was it just came out in a random conversation, and they were like “.oh, we thought you always knew!” Well no, you never mentioned it! All a bit odd, really.
Sarah 4 years ago
Only a handful of states recognize common law marriages.
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Connie Martin 4 years ago
It's really not very smart legally when you have a child/children together. If you can get the paperwork to change your name you can get the paperwork to be married.
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If their state recognizes common law. My state does not.
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Oleander 4 years ago
A lot of people just don't see the point in going through the hassle of actually getting married, so there's nothing wrong with that.
María Hermida 4 years ago
There's nothing wrong, but it could be problematic if something happens. If they are not married, there's no legal relationship between them, so property, inheritance, or even the right to sign for an operation or treatment if the partner is unconscious can be a nightmare.
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Suzanne Haigh 4 years ago
My parents were not married until I was about 11, no they never told me and it was never mentioned, but I knew.
Stannous Flouride 4 years ago
In some states and countries cohabitating with and adopting a partner's surname is considered a "common law" marriage with the same legal protections and responsibilities as a civil or religious one.
Birma Gustafsson 4 years ago
In Sweden it's quite common for couples to never marry, but live their whole lives together.
#37
My dad’s sister had a secret daughter that would have been approximately his age. She was 16 years older than him, and the family didn’t tell him until he was in college. In their small town, there is a not-zero chance he could have/did date his niece. Edit: for those asking, my dad was 3-4 when this happened. He remembers a lot of shouting at the time, but not the topic. Also, he is definitely NOT the baby in question
Thomas Afonso 4 years ago
Wait, this is confusing. It implies that the dad had a daughter that was 16 years older than him? Can you guys explain please?
hydrostatic joints 4 years ago
The dad had a niece that was the same age as him. The dad's sister had a daughter at around the same time he was born, but he didn't know about it.
Load More Replies... #38
I wasn't actually let in on it. My mother apparently had a miscarriage between me and my older brother, I was supposed to have an older sister. (Or maybe I wouldn't be born if she was) I simply overheard her crying about the experience over the phone to my aunt (mom's older sister) and it still bothers her after all these years. They speak Hakka (non the main Chinese language Mandarin), which they have come to assume I don't understand but I do somewhat ¯_ (ツ) _/¯
Avery Day 4 years ago
mandarin is not a "main"" chinese language, it is simply the official chinese language in a few nations. be proud of your mother tongue and never let people call it a dialect :). Signed, proud Hokkien and Cantonese speaker
Wandaluzt 4 years ago
Yeah, try not to speak to people on a different site. These posts are stolen from Reddit.
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julia 4 years ago
aw, i’m so sorry for your mom. no one should have to experience a miscarriage
Anne 4 years ago
These posts are all "borrowed" from Reddit. Better go to Reddit and find the person there and ask.
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Sarah 4 years ago
I had something similar happen, although in my case my mother, for reasons of her own, just decided to tell me one day...in the most casual way. I think we were discussing why they bought our three-bedroom house when I was a baby, instead of the four-bedroom one next door that they'd been considering. "Yes, I had your sister...and then you...and when a another baby was on the way we needed a bigger house..." "Wait, WHAT??!!" It totally blew my mind to know that I, who had always been "the baby of the family" was actually going to be the middle child. It's probably more than 40 years since she told me this and it still blows my mind.
Carrie Roettger 4 years ago
My mom had 6 miscarriages. If they had all go e to term I'd have been 4th of seven. She didn't talk about itouch but I do know it was something that caused a deep pain for her.
Real_Katsuki_Bakugou 4 years ago
Wait, this doesn't make sense, "I was supposed to have an older sister yet I heard them talking about the abortion." That means that they were already born which wouldn't make sense if she was supposed to be older. If they meant younger then it makes sense, except the part where they said "Although I might not have been born if she would've been."
deanna woods 4 years ago
The year that I was born, my dad's sister was pregnant as well, but she miscarried her baby. I sometimes think about the cousin that I would have grown up with.
#39
Quite literally a "dark family" secret. Being a white a** blond haired blue eyed little rat bastard at 6 and finding out my bio dad is black. Funny enough my best friend at the time was whiter than me with blond hair blue eyes also had a black bio dad. I guess our mums were just supper f****** white.
Dave P 4 years ago
Genetics can work that way, only about 5% of your DNA is what is called Clines which determine your features. There are cases of fraternal twins in mixed race families where one is super white. There is a famous on in the UK where on twin is a pale redhead and the other looks like very black. Twins. It happens
Aria Whitaker 4 years ago
If their dad was black American, I am not surprised in the least. We are very mixed genetically due to the...um....involuntary relations between slave and slave master that went on for a couple of centuries. Many of us are up to a quarter Caucasian (with no immediate admixture)...so those genes may have hidden and shown their faces!
Celtic Pirate Queen 4 years ago
My side is primarily Scandinavian. My blond, blue eyed daughter is half Japanese, but Viking genes rule!
Stannous Flouride 4 years ago
Since many, if not most, African Americans carry genes from their white forbearers it's not uncommon. Generally, the northern European traits are recessive and the African ones are are dominant but two recessives that line up will overcome the dominant ones.
#40
My uncle wasn’t missing a ton of birthday parties, family reunions, holiday dinners, etc. when I was a kid because of his “really busy job,” but because he became a heroin addict after his wife took off with their daughter, my cousin who I’ve still never met.
Eslamala 4 years ago
Maybe that's the reason they left and the rest of the family only found afterwards. Believe me, if my SO was a junkie, I'd leave with my kid in a heartbeat. No kid should ever have to put up with a junkie or a drunk.
Eliza Blackwell 4 years ago
It says that the uncle became an addict AFTER his wife left, not before, so although he might've occasionally taken them, he wasn't an addict before she left.
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OhForSmegSake 4 years ago (edited)
I have an older cousin (mid 40s) I've only just met. His mother disappeared with him one day when he was 4 or 5 and my uncle never saw them again. It wasn't until the late 90s when my uncle was charged with child sex offences that everyone worked out why she took off like that. The uncle has been disowned.
#41
My father always tells me as a joke that it's my fault my mom and him are married ( I'm the second son). But through the years from drunk conversations and several sources I've pieced the story together, my parents separated before they knew my mother was pregnant and only came back together after I was born.
Oleander 4 years ago
I really don't think that people should put the weight of holding their family together on a child.
Monolicle Potato 4 years ago
All the men I know in my family are a little odd. Mom and aunt are both divorced, so is Grandma on mom’s side. Even the dead ones (biological grandma) were divorced and biological Grandma was an addict. Grandma mentioned a couple of sentences ago wasn’t biological, and even she was divorced! The only one who breaks this is my Grandma on dads side, but the Grandpa on dads side is mentally abusive. Our tree is stained with All this gunk, and I fear I might go down the same path. I joke with myself about it being an old witch curse, with all the woman cursed with only finding douchebags in disguise.
Monolicle Potato 4 years ago
Note: It was the men’s fault the divorces happened.
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Yvreux Cielune 4 years ago
I never really comment here but I just have to agree with this. My dad actually said that to my mom when he came back to us, that the only reason he came back was for me and my brother. He left us and lived with our grandparents after my mom confronted him of his cheating. I can only imagine how much it hurt my mom back then, but I remember how furious I was when I heard that and how much I wanted to tell my dad I never asked him to come back anymore.
Vicki Thill 4 years ago
Perhaps he meant to say "We made a beautiful little boy who made it very easy to set aside all of our petty issues, and instead, get busy raising a family."
M Kate McCulloch 4 years ago
Well, I do hope they figured out how to be with each other happily for your sake and theirs. :)
Gingergirl 4 years ago
My mother would say I was the reason she married my father and my brother, born 15 months later, was the reason she stayed. Apparently their unhappy marriage had nothing to do with them....
#42
My father cheated on my mum, with my sister and I's horse riding instructor. We'd always thought it ended amicably. We only found this out while mum was admitting to having contemplated driving off the road with us in the car as kids, as opposed to raising us as a single mum with no career or stable job.
Jessica Bertram 4 years ago
oh god thank you. these manglers make me crazy.
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M Kate McCulloch 4 years ago
Holy sheep s**t batman! Your mom... Hope she got some help. Go kick your dad in the shins for me - your mom too!
Lit Present Mic (Anime SImp) 4 years ago
their dad cheated on their mom with the horse riding instructor
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#43
Just discovered recently my grandma had a 5th child. Put him up for adoption. Idk the whole story as my grandma has passed on.
Oleander 4 years ago
It would not surprise me if she could not afford to take care of a 5th child, it could be that she did it for the kid's benefit.
María Hermida 4 years ago
And probably for the other kids, too. If she had kept the 5th kid, the other kids may have also suffered scarcity.
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Yvette Weeks-Quinliven 4 years ago
same in my family. I found out Nov 2020 that I have another aunt
Lucas 4 years ago
Might not know they are adopted though. Can be so complicated.
Load More Replies... #44
My aunt steals desserts from buffets.
Pancake Satan 4 years ago
Hello dis da FBI, u steal desserts from buffets?
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Vanta Black 4 years ago
"The sign says 'All you can eat'! It doesn't say I have to eat it here and now!"
Sportsgal 4 years ago
Yeah, if you paid for the buffet, it's not stealing!
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leia's emotional cupcake 4 years ago
This is such a hilarious dark secret tbh compared to the other ones... lol
Tim Haight 4 years ago
She paid for the buffet. How can you steal from it? Does she sneak the food out of the restraunt?
#45
Turns out the reason my mom's parents divorced wasn't because they "fell out of love" but because he had an affair with another married woman from church. The families had known each other for years and my mom was good friends with the other woman's kids. They ended up getting married less than a year after their respective divorces (they each had three kids). It was especially sad because my step grandmother's (the Other Woman) children suffered pretty badly because neither she nor her ex husband were functional adults. Their kids grew up fast and the oldest daughter basically became a mom and maid at the ripe old age of 12 since dad refused to step up. My bio grandmother, bless her, didn't tell a soul about this. When I told her I knew, she sort of smiled and nodded like it was a relief that someone else knew beside her. I can't imagine keeping a secret like that for so long and not being able to tell your kids that it really wasn't your fault that you divorced and upended their lives. So yeah, learned that little gem while helping with my step grandmother's hospice care this past fall. She was always a chatty person but end of life drugs really amped it up. It was pretty shocking because my grandfather is a pretty laid back, kind, straight laced church person and you never suspect him of cheating. The worst part is that in my shock and confusion, I told my mother about it and it was pretty obvious she had no clue prior to my telling her. I really wish I could take that back. Edit: She wasn't literally a mom at 12, her dad just refused to learn how to cook or clean so naturally that fell to the other females in the house, his daughters. And yes, step grandmother was the Other Woman. We had a great relationship, but that would have been different if I'd known what I know now. Kinda sucks when s*** like this comes up and changes how you see people. I still love her and my grandfather, but damn, they caused so much suffering for their kids for the sake of being together and love.
Oleander 4 years ago
It's really shocking how some parents just take the blame of a divorce for the sole reason of not wanting the kids to be mad at the other spouse. That is a lot to bear for someone that threw you away for someone else.
Jessica Shookhoff 4 years ago
Yes, but wise and caring parents realize that how children feel about their parents IS how they feel about themselves, even into their late teens/early 20s. It can be unbearably painful to think badly of someone you love, so, as a loving parent, you try to spare your children the pain of thinking badly about their other parent...
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What do you think ?
Rae Reyn 4 years ago
My mother was arrested and spent time in federal prison for sneaking people into Canada to avoid the draft. Twice. She ended up on several watch lists.
Sky Render 4 years ago
I learned about 6 years ago that my parents got married due to my father getting my mother pregnant and her parents forcing her to get an abortion. Apparently it was the first legal abortion in my state, no less. My grandma on my mom's side tried to have mom committed after the two of them ran off to Las Vegas to try (unsuccessfully) to get married, and apparently my mom's dad had to convince grandma to allow the actual wedding instead once my parents got back. Given how horrible my dad ended up being, I'm sorry to say that grandma was probably right to try to keep them apart... At least neither I nor my two brothers inherited any of his mental illnesses!
Xander Wloch 4 years ago
I’m adopted and for most of my life I thought my bio mom only had me but then last year I randomly get a text from someone saying they knew my bio mom. And after asking that person a couple questions like when he was born. Because my bio mom died in 2005 from a heroin overdose (I was told she just “got sick” until I was 17) and this person was born in 2003 and after questioning my adopted parents, they told me that this person was my half brother. We have the same mom but not the same dad. My bio mom had another kid a few years after she had me (1999) but decided to keep him and try and raise him because she thought she was ready but her drug addiction came back (she was smart enough to stay sober while pregnant both times) my half brother (who I just call my brother) was taken away and given to my bio grandma and then later was adopted by my bio aunt and uncle. But they never told me this. Turns out the bio cousin I met when I was 8 was him but again, was never told that.
Jennie-Lind Normand 4 years ago
My dad was lied to his entire life about who his father was. Up until he joined the military he thought my grandfather was his biological father, nope, grandma had been married previously and that was my dads 'dad' and he just buggered off after getting her pregnant. Story over right? Wrong! Years and YEARS later we find out grandmas first husband wasn't my dads bio dad and it was another dude who had lived in the same town as most of us and had just died. We're not even sure if he knew he had a son, he had three daughters, one of who I went to school with never knowing she was my aunt! It's so messed up. I'm sure there are many MANY more secrets because damn my grandma never talked about anything!
Dodo 4 years ago
Great-grandmother gave my grandmother up for adoption. We always knew that part. When I researched my family tree I found out the rest: great-grandmother then had another kid, and drowned herself and the child.
Patti Vance 4 years ago
putting this out there hoping someone may have info to my family skeleton. grandmom born in boston. her mom died while she was very young so raised by her dad & older brother. when she was 16 she eloped with a boy named andrew newton (that name was what i have uncovered so far). when they returned home a few days later her dad made them get annulment but not bc she was too young; bc he wasn't portuguese. little did he know she was preggers w/my aunt. her dad never accepted my aunt & bc she now had a child married her off to older man in texas where my mom was born. grt grand dad adored my mom but still rejected my aunt which made my grandma resent my mom, spoil my aunt, & generally not be as generous emotionally w/my mom. both my mom & aunt confronted her once to find out info for aunt's dad but grandma only said she had promised her dad to never speak about it; she never did.
Leo Domitrix 4 years ago
Let's see: Two close relatives, one did life for homicide, one is wanted for one and implicated in another, all unrelated homicides; one relative (same with 2 likely murder raps) also wanted for embezzling; addicts and abusers; and my dad's parents were 3d cousins, which is legal but still a bit creepy, IMO; drug dealers; medicare/social security fraudsters.... One person had sold their dead mom's house (my late dad's mother) without owning it ... Suffice to say, Deep/Dark/Ugly is sorta my whole paternal family, and I only keep enough track of them to know how to avoid them. Cowardly, but safer.
Jessica Bertram 4 years ago
not cowardly. smart. that's survival. hang in there.
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BananaAnna 4 years ago
Many years ago, while playing a truly stupid game, I told a secret that seemed meaningless to me. Apparently, that was no the case. Several people were upset that they did not learn the secret long before I blurted it out. I swore off repeating secrets. A secret can only be kept by two people if one of those two is legally, undeniably dead.
Eslamala 4 years ago
I'll never understand why some people assume they're going to inherit something after their parents die and have the audacity of throwing a tantrum when that doesn't happen. Also, kids getting in the middle of their parent's marital problems annoy the fùck out of me. You don't get to judge them as husband or wife (unless there's violence, of course). You just get to evaluate them as your parents. That's the role they play in your life. If they cheat on each other, it's their problem, not yours, and parents who poison their kids against the other parent, or drag their kids into their marital problems are mentally abusing their kids.
Pervinca 4 years ago (edited)
I agree for the second part of your text. But for the first part, I imagine it is a cultural thing because in my family everyone expect to inherit from their parents. My parents would be angry if some of their siblings obtain more without the right motivation. And sure I would feel betrayed if my parents decided to disinherit me without the right motivations. It's not something I assume. I have grown knowing that, and I have the responsibility to grow my assets and to not waste what I will got, in order to pass them to my children ( if I will have children in the future) and to use it to help them. As I said, it's a cultural thing, where I live even if you aren't from a rich family it is generally assumed that your children will inherit something when you die.
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John Montgomery 4 years ago
I don't have anything that dark, but I do remember being told by my dad that one of the reasons he divorced my mom was that he didn't like always having to "finish her off with his finger". I was about 13 when he told me. I'm not sure there is a good age to find out such a petty reason, but at that age my dads sexual failings was the last thing I wanted to hear.
Rae Reyn 4 years ago
My mother was arrested and spent time in federal prison for sneaking people into Canada to avoid the draft. Twice. She ended up on several watch lists.
Sky Render 4 years ago
I learned about 6 years ago that my parents got married due to my father getting my mother pregnant and her parents forcing her to get an abortion. Apparently it was the first legal abortion in my state, no less. My grandma on my mom's side tried to have mom committed after the two of them ran off to Las Vegas to try (unsuccessfully) to get married, and apparently my mom's dad had to convince grandma to allow the actual wedding instead once my parents got back. Given how horrible my dad ended up being, I'm sorry to say that grandma was probably right to try to keep them apart... At least neither I nor my two brothers inherited any of his mental illnesses!
Xander Wloch 4 years ago
I’m adopted and for most of my life I thought my bio mom only had me but then last year I randomly get a text from someone saying they knew my bio mom. And after asking that person a couple questions like when he was born. Because my bio mom died in 2005 from a heroin overdose (I was told she just “got sick” until I was 17) and this person was born in 2003 and after questioning my adopted parents, they told me that this person was my half brother. We have the same mom but not the same dad. My bio mom had another kid a few years after she had me (1999) but decided to keep him and try and raise him because she thought she was ready but her drug addiction came back (she was smart enough to stay sober while pregnant both times) my half brother (who I just call my brother) was taken away and given to my bio grandma and then later was adopted by my bio aunt and uncle. But they never told me this. Turns out the bio cousin I met when I was 8 was him but again, was never told that.
Jennie-Lind Normand 4 years ago
My dad was lied to his entire life about who his father was. Up until he joined the military he thought my grandfather was his biological father, nope, grandma had been married previously and that was my dads 'dad' and he just buggered off after getting her pregnant. Story over right? Wrong! Years and YEARS later we find out grandmas first husband wasn't my dads bio dad and it was another dude who had lived in the same town as most of us and had just died. We're not even sure if he knew he had a son, he had three daughters, one of who I went to school with never knowing she was my aunt! It's so messed up. I'm sure there are many MANY more secrets because damn my grandma never talked about anything!
Dodo 4 years ago
Great-grandmother gave my grandmother up for adoption. We always knew that part. When I researched my family tree I found out the rest: great-grandmother then had another kid, and drowned herself and the child.
Patti Vance 4 years ago
putting this out there hoping someone may have info to my family skeleton. grandmom born in boston. her mom died while she was very young so raised by her dad & older brother. when she was 16 she eloped with a boy named andrew newton (that name was what i have uncovered so far). when they returned home a few days later her dad made them get annulment but not bc she was too young; bc he wasn't portuguese. little did he know she was preggers w/my aunt. her dad never accepted my aunt & bc she now had a child married her off to older man in texas where my mom was born. grt grand dad adored my mom but still rejected my aunt which made my grandma resent my mom, spoil my aunt, & generally not be as generous emotionally w/my mom. both my mom & aunt confronted her once to find out info for aunt's dad but grandma only said she had promised her dad to never speak about it; she never did.
Leo Domitrix 4 years ago
Let's see: Two close relatives, one did life for homicide, one is wanted for one and implicated in another, all unrelated homicides; one relative (same with 2 likely murder raps) also wanted for embezzling; addicts and abusers; and my dad's parents were 3d cousins, which is legal but still a bit creepy, IMO; drug dealers; medicare/social security fraudsters.... One person had sold their dead mom's house (my late dad's mother) without owning it ... Suffice to say, Deep/Dark/Ugly is sorta my whole paternal family, and I only keep enough track of them to know how to avoid them. Cowardly, but safer.
Jessica Bertram 4 years ago
not cowardly. smart. that's survival. hang in there.
Load More Replies... BananaAnna 4 years ago
Many years ago, while playing a truly stupid game, I told a secret that seemed meaningless to me. Apparently, that was no the case. Several people were upset that they did not learn the secret long before I blurted it out. I swore off repeating secrets. A secret can only be kept by two people if one of those two is legally, undeniably dead.
Eslamala 4 years ago
I'll never understand why some people assume they're going to inherit something after their parents die and have the audacity of throwing a tantrum when that doesn't happen. Also, kids getting in the middle of their parent's marital problems annoy the fùck out of me. You don't get to judge them as husband or wife (unless there's violence, of course). You just get to evaluate them as your parents. That's the role they play in your life. If they cheat on each other, it's their problem, not yours, and parents who poison their kids against the other parent, or drag their kids into their marital problems are mentally abusing their kids.
Pervinca 4 years ago (edited)
I agree for the second part of your text. But for the first part, I imagine it is a cultural thing because in my family everyone expect to inherit from their parents. My parents would be angry if some of their siblings obtain more without the right motivation. And sure I would feel betrayed if my parents decided to disinherit me without the right motivations. It's not something I assume. I have grown knowing that, and I have the responsibility to grow my assets and to not waste what I will got, in order to pass them to my children ( if I will have children in the future) and to use it to help them. As I said, it's a cultural thing, where I live even if you aren't from a rich family it is generally assumed that your children will inherit something when you die.
Load More Replies... John Montgomery 4 years ago
I don't have anything that dark, but I do remember being told by my dad that one of the reasons he divorced my mom was that he didn't like always having to "finish her off with his finger". I was about 13 when he told me. I'm not sure there is a good age to find out such a petty reason, but at that age my dads sexual failings was the last thing I wanted to hear.
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