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People Reveal 45 Of Their Most Uncomfortable Family Secrets In This Online Group
Every family has some secrets. Sometimes the adults wanting to protect young children don’t tell them everything that is going on and when the children grow up, they are in a little bit of a shock to realize that they didn’t know some of the important things about their families. But some of the things can get really dark and could be a little bit too much for a child to handle.
Reddit user Flash_Dimension asked other users "Once you were old enough, what were the dark family secrets you were finally let in on?" And people really didn‘t hold back spilling all the beans. Some of the stories are darker than others. Bored Panda compiled a list of the most interesting and surprising family secrets that people have shared.
More info: Reddit
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#1
My father was a dentist as was his step father. They shared an office until my grandfather died when I was 5. Dad practiced in the front office while the older back office was kept in pristine shape but unused as far as I could tell. I thought it was out of some kind of respect for his step mother who continued to live above it.
Many years later I was comparing old dental instruments scavenged from his office with my younger brother. I showed him a giant curved forcep wondering what the hell he used that for. “Oh, didn’t you know he used to do abortions in the rear office”?
I didn’t but a lot of pieces finally fell into place; the late nights at the office, the cash and often bartered items that patients often paid with.
I was too innocent I suppose as I left for college to be let in on his secret but my younger stay at home brother was not.
Shock was quickly overcome with pride and joy. There’s nothing good about illegal abortions except when they are desperately desired by the people with the most need and the least means. My father had a reputation for kindness and flexibility in billing. If you needed work done, it would get done and best of all done well by all accounts, “see this temporary bridge, Doc put that in 15 years ago and I ever had to go back”. He was an unhappy dentist with a surgeon’s hands but surgery was not an option for Black men in the 40s. I imagine that he provided high quality health services to hundreds of women who otherwise might have ended up in the ER or worse.
(Anti-abortionists, please hold your fire, it’s just a memory and reflection)
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#2
Not very much a secret, but took me until I was older to understand what was happening.
My mom would sometimes have us play a game called “army” which consisted of me, my mom, and my siblings army crawling around our apartment. Kind of a hide n seek style game. She would yell “hit the deck!” randomly and we would all drop and find a hiding spot. We would giggle and giggle while my mom army crawled around looking for us. We loved the game so much.
I realized a few years ago while retelling the story that we lived in a really terrible neighborhood, and she would yell it out when she heard gunshots outside the building. I’m assuming she was worried about stray bullets.
Edit: I shared everyone’s amazing comments with my mom, and she shed a tear. She feels very appreciated on international woman’s day today!
#3
Gramma didn’t decide to move in with us because she loved us so much and wanted to spend more time with us. Gramma moved in because her son was a meth addict and convinced her to put his name on the house, take all the money out of it “for renovations,” and leave her homeless. She had a heart attack the night she found out and now has to live with a pacemaker. F*** you Uncle Roy.
#4
My cousins lived with us for a while and we thought that was fun because it's like a sleep over every day. One time our mom even took us out of school to pick them up.
I learned later that it was because child protective services took my cousins away from their mom because of mental health issues. My mom offered to take her sister's kids until she got her mental health back in order.
My cousins live with their mom now and their mom is in a much better condition mentally.
ProfessionalTimeWaster 4 years ago
This is not dark, this is heartwarming! So nice of the mom to step up and take responsibility of her nieces/nephews.
#5
My dad used to send me birthday cards every year when I was a young girl (my mother left my dad while pregnant with me for good reason), even though I never got to meet him when I was young I was glad to still receive a card from him with a few bucks acknowledging I was alive and that he did one day want to see me.
Around 14-15 I learned that my mother had written every single one of those letters and my grandfather would mail it to ourselves to make it seem legit. I never ever actually received any letter from him.
Edit: I didn’t expect this comment to blow up as I slept but I wanted to answer a few questions that I got!
My dad was a pretty terrible guy. Without airing all my family’s dirty laundry, he was a sexual abuser. I did eventually meet him two times: once at my aunt’s funeral at 17 where he wrote me a long letter about how he wished he was better, and once when I was 19 when he tried to establish a relationship. He gave me terrible vibes and I never answered his attempts to reach out after that, and I’m happier this way.
My mom raised 2 kids by herself. Unfortunately my family has its issues. My family suffers from alcoholism and my mother has deep mental health issues. Growing up with her wasn’t always easy and still isn’t now — some days she is lucid and a wonderful mother. Other days she’s violent and unstable. But I know deep down inside her where she is well and unafflicted by her illness she is an incredible mother and kind. I just have to accept that she is unwell and try to remember good times. My family and I are estranged these days but it makes me want to work harder to be a stable and loving mother if I do become one someday. At the end of everything I do still love my mom and am thankful she shielded me from him.
Thank you guys. I’m so sorry to read your stories of similar things happening to you. My inbox is always open if anyone ever needs to talk/vent. Be well everyone.
#6
Mine is more cool that horrifying on the sense I’m proud of this one.
My grandfather was an amazing guy. He was a sniper-paratrooper in WW2. Always refused to talk about the army. I learned later that he was dishonorably discharged after injury. Turns out the Sargent in his squad was an absolute bastard. He had to go behind enemy lines to set a post up, and the plane was flying too low for a safe jump. He protested it to the Sargent who proceeded to shove him out of the plane after calling him a coward. Both my grandfather and his spotter partner were seriously injured in the landing. His partner (never knew him) was paralyzed and lost a leg. My grandfather broke both of his, his arm, hand, and some ribs.
They both were rescued shortly after and taken to a military hospital. That’s not what got him discharged, though. Turns out the Sargent showed up to visit them in the infirmary, and my grandfather punched him square in the face with his only good hand, twice. If his only army buddy we ever knew is to be believed, (he was also visiting at the time) he floored the bastard. After that, and on top of his injuries, the army sent him home for the rest of the war.
We found out later after he passed and we had to go through his stuff a bunch of newspaper and article clippings about the folks involved he had kept. the Sargent was also discharged after a similar incident cost the lives of two other members of his squad a year later that weren’t so lucky. The man apparently drunk himself to death years later. We found all these written but unsent letters to his Sargent, we found photos of my grandfathers squad and the two that died with him. It was heartbreaking. I never knew any of this. He was such a fun, kind, and goofy guy you’d never think anything like this would happen to him. Now I knew why my parents always said never to bring my up the army around him. Miss you grandpa, I’d have punched the bastard too
#7
i didnt have an imaginary friend who moved, I had a twin brother who died from a bee allergy when i was too young to remember much
#8
Grandma’s top secret pie crust was actually just Marie Calender’s from the grocery store, set in a fancier dish. She messed with her daughters-in-law for years over it.
Foxxy (The Original) 4 years ago
Reminds me of an episode of Friends where Phoebe and Monica try recreating Phoebes grandmas biscuit recipe but it turns out they were boxed biscuits you could get from the shops.
#9
My grandmother’s first husband was extremely abusive, but this was the 60s and he hid it well. She couldn’t file for divorce without proof of injury, so she beat herself in the face with a slipper to get away. She was 21 or 22 or so- with 3 young children. I’m 23 right now and I could never imagine. She was such a strong lady, I miss her!
Aria Dayan 4 years ago
How would the slipper help? I mean I'm super glad she got away I'm just kinda confused.
#10
My cousins used to stay with us a lot, I remember my male cousin was a just a small baby when he first came to us. He would scream and scream and scream all night, and mum put him in my room so I used to spend the night cuddling him or playing peekaboo. My other cousin was my age (5) at the time. I found out later, my auntie was a heroin addict and a sex worker. My cousins were the result of clients and my male cousin was actually born whilst my auntie was heavily using and he was going through withdrawal after his birth. My grandparents ended up flying in from Wales and taking custody of them as well as putting my auntie on a plane and leaving with all of them. It was one of the saddest days of my life that I never understood... I thought they were going to be my brother and sister and wasn’t sure why all of a sudden they were taken from me.
Edit: Wow, thank you so much for the awards! I’ve just woken up and have loads to read through. For those asking, my Auntie made it out of that life. She prefers to be alone and doesn’t have anything really to do with the family. She still lives in the same village as my grandparents. Them being taken was always something that upset me so much, but was swept under the rug so much I thought I was being dramatic. Seeing all your comments is so validating and I thank you for that.
#11
I'm still at least one families secret! I'm adopted and found my Biological Father, he begged me not to reach out to any of my half siblings as it would "ruin his life and standing in the community". The sad thing is I'm not even his first secret child, I have an older half sister that he also begged not to reach out to family. So that's two kids he's had because he cheated on his wife. I can only imagine how often he cheats to have at least two women end up pregnant...My half sister and I call 23andMe (how we met) "23andMark" because who knows how many more kids he might have out there. Pretty sure he's been terrified since at home DNA kits became a thing.
Edit: A word.
Second Edit and Additional info: First, I can finally say it, RIP my inbox! I tried to answer as many of you as I could but I thought I'd clear up some of the most repeated questions here:
Why don't I tell his wife? I don't need to, she already knew about my Half Sister and now me because she answered his phone when I first called asking questions and promptly told me to leave her family the Hell alone.
Screw him asking me to stay quiet, why don't I blow up his life/reach out to my Half-Siblings? It is largely because of my Half Siblings that I haven't done anything. I did not sign up to be a wrecking ball or to destroy a family. Imagine finding out everything you knew about your Dad was a lie in the worst way possible. I know I'd be devastated. I may not have met them but they are my Half Siblings. They are just as innocent in this as I am, I don't want to be the one to hurt them like that. I really hope that he will realize he can't keep a secret like this forever and come clean himself.
Why not mail his kids DNA kits anonymously? Realistically it's only a matter of time before one of them gets curious and does it on their own or gets gifted one from an unwitting family member/friend.
Why don't I blackmail/extort the bastard? he's a terrible person, he should pay! It's pretty simple, that's just not the kind of person I am. I don't want his money, I never have. I go to bed every night with a clear conscience which is more than I can say for him and that's worth more than anything money could buy in my opinion. I have a roof over my head, a Husband who loves me, a beautiful Daughter, a great Dad and two new Half Siblings I adore. From my perspective I'm already rich.
Foxxy (The Original) 4 years ago
Not just that but blackmail/extortion is illegal. Not worth getting into trouble with the law for that sperm donor.
#12
My father met my mother in the Philippines when he was stationed there in the Navy. He married her there and conceived me. He went away to finish his tour of duty.
My mother moved to America when she was a month away from giving birth to me. She moved in with relatives in Texas. My father's tour ended while he was in Hawaii. He met a woman there and called my mom in America, asking for a divorce. He wanted to take back his recent marriage to her - with a kid on the way - because he had a hot one-night stand.
My mother was already scared, being in a new country, not knowing much English. Add to this that she was pregnant, about to give birth, and her husband was dumping her.
My Texan uncle got on a plane to Hawaii, prepared to kick my father's ass. He somehow talked my father into being a man and taking responsibility for his wife and child. The fact that the fling dumped his ass surely helped. He was back by the time I was born.
I learned all this when I was eleven, around the time my parents got divorced. It was only the first of countless "dark family secrets" I would come to learn during my teenage years.
#13
My grandma retired and she still decided to work for her brother in his restaurant to save up money for when she dies. Funerals are, obviously, expensive. She insisted he would hold on to her paychecks and pay for her funeral when she dies. He never did.
#14
Grandma had 13 siblings, of those 7 women are still alive. Once a year they have a “sister day” where they all except one are going somewhere to have fun. They’ve been doing this since they were teens. All but one sister, who has been lied to her whole life about sister day, because she thinks it doesn’t exist. This is supposed to have been started when that one sister borrowed something and didn’t give it back. Or something trivial like that.
We are all reminded whenever we ALL get together (pre pandemic) that we’re not to talk about this, because it will hurt that sister. Still can’t wrap my head around how backstabbing b****y some family members of mine are. Because this is just stupid.
#15
That my cousin was actually my half-brother. Mom got pregnant in college and my aunt and uncle adopted him. And, that my dad wasn't my biological father. Mom and dad got divorced, she got pregnant by another man, and my dad wasn't able to have kids of his own so they got remarried and he raised me as his own.
#16
When my mother died I found out she had had multiple female partners before my father. I only discovered this when two of her ex's showed up to her funeral... Both of them were absolutely lovely. They told my sister and I a lot about our mom in her younger years. My mom shared so little of her past with us while she was alive, it was nice hearing about it, but also made us feel like we never really knew her at all...
If you're a parent, don't let your kids discover your secrets after you are gone. I wish I could have learned about my mother's interesting and exciting life from her. Instead, I only got to see a glimmer of who she really was. I hope others let their family see the whole picture.
Sharon Ingram 4 years ago
She didn’t know you would find it “interesting and exciting.” It was her experience and in that time she knew how it would be received.
#17
Got a Facebook message from one guy asking if I was related to [my dad], since it's not a common last name. I thought he was a fan of his work, because I was in college at the time and the guy was about the same age as me.
And that's how I found out my dad slept around and that I had a half-brother the same age as me.
Sharon Ingram 4 years ago
I hope you and your half-brother got along and enjoyed a relationship. Not his fault your dad was a d**k.
#18
My step grandfather has always been an alcoholic. As a child he even taught me how to mix his favourite drink. As kid at like 6 years old I would mix his drink as he liked and bring it in to him in the living room. (Don’t ask what the drink was a mix off cause I literally can’t remember) and my grandpa always acted “funny”. I always liked spending time with him cause I found him funny. So I never saw the bad side of his alcoholism and he never made me drink or anything so overall he didn’t have any negative impact on me at all, but before I was born he could get so drunk he threatened to kill my grandma and when he got in a car accident and came home he was bleeding badly from his head and he started saying my granny shot him. He even threw out some of the wedding pictures my parents had. I never knew how horrible he was. Maybe cause he liked kids or something. He would make me cocoa and watch Garfield with me when I was a kid, he was never a bad influence in my life. So it was so weird to me when I found out these things about him.
Before he died tho, he really regretted drinking, and he completely stopped. He became really depressed too until his granddaughter (biological) was born. He was so happy about his granddaughter. He died regretting everything and a sober man who was happy to have been able to meet his one and only biological granddaughter.
Regardless of everything he really changed in the end and everyone was really upset he died.
#19
My aunt started the communist party in her country. It got quite large, her children fled the country, and I still don't know what happened to her.
EDIT: there's a reason I didn't list the country.
General kenobi 4 years ago
That’s either awesome or sad depending on which way you look at it.
#20
My parents were going to abort me, but his friend stopped him. My dad named me after his friend. My dad and I have a great relationship now though lol.
What do you think ?
Rae Reyn 4 years ago
My mother was arrested and spent time in federal prison for sneaking people into Canada to avoid the draft. Twice. She ended up on several watch lists.
Sky Render 4 years ago
I learned about 6 years ago that my parents got married due to my father getting my mother pregnant and her parents forcing her to get an abortion. Apparently it was the first legal abortion in my state, no less. My grandma on my mom's side tried to have mom committed after the two of them ran off to Las Vegas to try (unsuccessfully) to get married, and apparently my mom's dad had to convince grandma to allow the actual wedding instead once my parents got back. Given how horrible my dad ended up being, I'm sorry to say that grandma was probably right to try to keep them apart... At least neither I nor my two brothers inherited any of his mental illnesses!
Xander Wloch 4 years ago
I’m adopted and for most of my life I thought my bio mom only had me but then last year I randomly get a text from someone saying they knew my bio mom. And after asking that person a couple questions like when he was born. Because my bio mom died in 2005 from a heroin overdose (I was told she just “got sick” until I was 17) and this person was born in 2003 and after questioning my adopted parents, they told me that this person was my half brother. We have the same mom but not the same dad. My bio mom had another kid a few years after she had me (1999) but decided to keep him and try and raise him because she thought she was ready but her drug addiction came back (she was smart enough to stay sober while pregnant both times) my half brother (who I just call my brother) was taken away and given to my bio grandma and then later was adopted by my bio aunt and uncle. But they never told me this. Turns out the bio cousin I met when I was 8 was him but again, was never told that.
Rae Reyn 4 years ago
My mother was arrested and spent time in federal prison for sneaking people into Canada to avoid the draft. Twice. She ended up on several watch lists.
Sky Render 4 years ago
I learned about 6 years ago that my parents got married due to my father getting my mother pregnant and her parents forcing her to get an abortion. Apparently it was the first legal abortion in my state, no less. My grandma on my mom's side tried to have mom committed after the two of them ran off to Las Vegas to try (unsuccessfully) to get married, and apparently my mom's dad had to convince grandma to allow the actual wedding instead once my parents got back. Given how horrible my dad ended up being, I'm sorry to say that grandma was probably right to try to keep them apart... At least neither I nor my two brothers inherited any of his mental illnesses!
Xander Wloch 4 years ago
I’m adopted and for most of my life I thought my bio mom only had me but then last year I randomly get a text from someone saying they knew my bio mom. And after asking that person a couple questions like when he was born. Because my bio mom died in 2005 from a heroin overdose (I was told she just “got sick” until I was 17) and this person was born in 2003 and after questioning my adopted parents, they told me that this person was my half brother. We have the same mom but not the same dad. My bio mom had another kid a few years after she had me (1999) but decided to keep him and try and raise him because she thought she was ready but her drug addiction came back (she was smart enough to stay sober while pregnant both times) my half brother (who I just call my brother) was taken away and given to my bio grandma and then later was adopted by my bio aunt and uncle. But they never told me this. Turns out the bio cousin I met when I was 8 was him but again, was never told that.
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