Some things we just cannot forget. Like harsh words from the people we want to impress most—our parents.

On May 3rd, assistant professor at Stockton University Emily Van Duyne tweeted a question: "Does anyone else ever remember a cruel thing your parent said to you [and] it takes the wind out of you? Even if it was almost ten years ago?" Turns out, they do.

Emily's tweet has received over 200,000 likes and plenty of comments where people revealed their parents' mean phrases that will probably stick with them for life, and the thread has become like a giant online mental health session.

"I want you all to know I am sorting through and reading and thinking of and trying to respond individually to each of these stories," Van Duyne wrote as the responses kept pouring in. "I'm making pasta and reminding myself to be tender with my kids and tender with myself, as much as humanly possible, always. Please do the same."

Continue scrolling and check out some of our hand-picked confessions. Sometimes, seeing other people vulnerable is all you need to uncover and deal with your own crap.

#1

Cruel-Unforgettable-Things-Parent-Said

BrainRockets Report

Dash Blue
Community Member
1 month ago

I hope that you shove your success in your fathers face, and never let him meet his grandchildren. Okay. A bit harsh.

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#2

Cruel-Unforgettable-Things-Parent-Said

Plumpdn Report

Nice cuppa tea
Community Member
1 month ago

Omg that is seriously twisted. Your mother is a sick woman

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#3

Cruel-Unforgettable-Things-Parent-Said

Vivien_Jackson Report

Raine Soo
Community Member
1 month ago

How often have people said: You could be so pretty if you just lost the weight.

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According to Jessie-Anne Bird, a psychologist from Johannesburg, South Africa, we can be deeply wounded by the words of others. "If we are not careful, we can react in a way that may escalate things unnecessarily," Bird told Bored Panda.

Instead, the psychologist suggested we use the STOP technique, and it looks like this:

S: Stop. Wait before you react.

T: Take a step back - give yourself some time and space from the situation.

O: Observe what's going on inside and outside. Become aware of your thoughts and feelings, think about how they may be impacting your decision-making.

P: Proceed mindfully - once you have an understanding of what is happening, and have thought through your options - then you will be in a position to make a choice about how to respond or react.

#4

Cruel-Unforgettable-Things-Parent-Said

nada_lemming Report

crazy_cat_notAlady
Community Member
1 month ago

yes. the opp happened to me though. dad was sick for years (cancer). did everything I could and I couldn't. dropped out of a Ph.D. program to get a stable job to support his treatment and family costs. waited for years to hear him say for once that he was proud of me. never said anything...now it's too late. sometimes I wonder if I would view my life and career choices differently had he been actually proud of me, or if he cared.

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#5

Cruel-Unforgettable-Things-Parent-Said

PurpleTurtleWat Report

crazy_cat_notAlady
Community Member
1 month ago

hey. u r beautiful. words can b harsh, but they can never strip u off ur beauty. glad u have found a good therapist. hope u continue to see the beauty of life and ur beauty too

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#6

Cruel-Unforgettable-Things-Parent-Said

MichelleEgan84 Report

Nice cuppa tea
Community Member
1 month ago

God he is a sociopath. Hope you distanced yourself from him

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Experts associate parent-child connectedness with a wide range of health indicators. Close, positive family relationships that feature open communication help young people stay healthy and avoid substance use and violent behavior.

"We tend to use the perceptions of others to inform our self-view, and we might place more importance on the feedback we receive from those we value," Bird said. "When we hear hurtful things from those we love or esteem - they may hurt more because we are more likely to believe them."

#7

Cruel-Unforgettable-Things-Parent-Said

maximiliidae Report

Black Pug Puppy
Community Member
1 month ago (edited)

Your parents didn't deserve you

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#8

Cruel-Unforgettable-Things-Parent-Said

fmnsthist89 Report

James016
Community Member
1 month ago

It's never too late

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#9

Cruel-Unforgettable-Things-Parent-Said

taylor_revert Report

Nice cuppa tea
Community Member
1 month ago

That is abuse, poor girl

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Imi Lo, a psychotherapist, art therapist, and consultant for emotionally intense and highly sensitive people, thinks the relationship between a child and a parent is one of the most instinctively protective, loving, and nurturing things humans experience. So when such a connection is clouded with feelings of deep hurt and resentment, these negative emotions can follow people beyond childhood and adolescence into adulthood.

"At the end of the day, you want to be able to cross over the bridge of resentment and move to a place of peace," Lo wrote in Psychology Today. "But however cliche this sounds, you need first to love yourself, embracing both the good and the bad, your ability to love, and your rage towards others. You must forgive yourself for your inability to forgive. You are a survivor for being here today. You deserve to live without emotional baggage."

If what you do grows into a deep sense of love for your parents, then the journey would have been worth it. If not, at least you know that you tried, and you will have no regrets.

#10

Cruel-Unforgettable-Things-Parent-Said

WordPerv Report

Grumble O'Pug
Community Member
1 month ago

Wow, brutal

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#11

Cruel-Unforgettable-Things-Parent-Said

thatskyfii Report

James016
Community Member
1 month ago

Which means sadly you were :(

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#12

Cruel-Unforgettable-Things-Parent-Said

K00KIED0UGH Report

Raine Soo
Community Member
1 month ago

Have you noticed how parents will utter any stupidity because they can't manage their own stress and will take it out on their children because no one else is around to hear them rant?

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#13

Cruel-Unforgettable-Things-Parent-Said

_FandomNeeds_ Report

Pusfarm
Community Member
1 month ago

These are not parents, they're terrorists.

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#14

Cruel-Unforgettable-Things-Parent-Said

JellyfishSando Report

Prilsy
Community Member
1 month ago

That's gaslighting and my father did it all the time to me. Still does and I'm almost 50.

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#15

Cruel-Unforgettable-Things-Parent-Said

bookkakes Report

Grumble O'Pug
Community Member
1 month ago

Nothing like getting belittled to make you feel better, right? Ugh

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#16

Cruel-Unforgettable-Things-Parent-Said

Renzo_Rebel Report

Raine Soo
Community Member
1 month ago

Oh, s**t. I'm so sorry.

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#17

Cruel-Unforgettable-Things-Parent-Said

auntbooboo Report

James016
Community Member
1 month ago

Some people should not be parents.

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#18

Cruel-Unforgettable-Things-Parent-Said

kenzie_connolly Report

CatWoman312
Community Member
1 month ago (edited)

She’s 9 dad. She’s playing soccer which involves a lot of running (assuming she’s not the goalie) so back off!

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#19

Cruel-Unforgettable-Things-Parent-Said

thhsystem Report

Raine Soo
Community Member
1 month ago

People fail to realize that self-harming is a coping mechanism toward pain and anger. Mom made it worse by telling you should be ashamed of yourself. I hope that you were able to find the help you needed.

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#20

Cruel-Unforgettable-Things-Parent-Said

Sicarius001 Report

Tami
Community Member
1 month ago

My mom is like this. She doesn't say she doesn't care, but she shows it by not showing interest and changing the subject. Meanwhile, she can blather on for 30-40 minutes about the toast she had for breakfast or how she sat out in the sun for awhile.

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#21

Cruel-Unforgettable-Things-Parent-Said

LannieStabile Report

Raine Soo
Community Member
1 month ago

When I was growing up, and even into my teens, family friends would say how pretty I was. My mother would say, "Nah, she's not." And, then start to list all my faults. I'd either walk away or stand there, rolling my eyes. So, yeah, I feel you.

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#22

Cruel-Unforgettable-Things-Parent-Said

heylexiwrites Report

Raine Soo
Community Member
1 month ago

I'd need therapy if I had to go through that rubbish too. Of course, I had my own battles with my mother.

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#23

Cruel-Unforgettable-Things-Parent-Said

Eternity24601 Report

Steve Barnett
Community Member
1 month ago

Aspergic. Demanding and yes, draining.

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#24

Cruel-Unforgettable-Things-Parent-Said

_potatofromhell Report

CatWoman312
Community Member
1 month ago

Thankfully we wear masks now so we don’t have to look at the faces of ugly trolls like your mom

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#25

Cruel-Unforgettable-Things-Parent-Said

freestylwalking Report

Jaime
Community Member
1 month ago

Ah, I do that too, because of my ADHD. I really hate it, sometimes I say things that make people uncomfortable because I didn’t think before I spoke.

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#26

Cruel-Unforgettable-Things-Parent-Said

icecubestepson Report

Raine Soo
Community Member
1 month ago

Yep, I only know too well what sort of mom you have.

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#27

Cruel-Unforgettable-Things-Parent-Said

zambievibes Report

Raine Soo
Community Member
1 month ago

Nagging for whatever reason never works. It only builds resentment.

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#28

Cruel-Unforgettable-Things-Parent-Said

Alehfred Report

Raine Soo
Community Member
1 month ago

This isn't quite the same, but my mother told me that I had no patience for young children. She said this to me when I was 10 years old. I'm surprised that I turned out this well despite her negative attitude.

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#29

Cruel-Unforgettable-Things-Parent-Said

thebeerbitch Report

Hilary Rudd
Community Member
1 month ago

Don't let her put you off !!

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#30

Cruel-Unforgettable-Things-Parent-Said

zombietwinkie44 Report

Raine Soo
Community Member
1 month ago

No, your parents meant it. They just passed off the insults as jokes.

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