“They Think It’s A Cheat Code”: 30 Women Reveal Their Creepiest Experiences With ‘Nice Guys’
Interview
Quite a few of us likely have—or have had—a friend that can only be described as the nicest person that you’ll ever meet; an individual you know you can trust, one that’s always nothing but attentive and caring, and who would never do anything to make you uncomfortable.
Unfortunately, some of such nice people do end up making their friends uncomfortable by doing something unexpected and typically quite disturbing. Members of the ‘Ask Women’ subreddit recently discussed such situations after a redditor started a thread about the creepy things “nice guy” friends have done that made their female counterparts ghost them. Scroll down to find the netizens’ answers on the list below and see how quickly “the nicest person that you’ll ever meet” can shatter their image.
Bored Panda has reached out to the OP and they were kind enough to answer a few of our questions. You will find their thoughts in the text below.
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Figured since I "let him" pay for dinner that I owed him sex. We were coworkers, both married and it was a meal of convenience (we were both getting per diem, I was going to pay for my own meal, but I was in the bathroom and apparently he flagged the waiter down so he could pay 🙄). F**k right off with that. I told my boss and he got transferred elsewhere. I still get grossed out when I think about the assumptions.
Went on a driving date with him. He knew a “spot”. Tried to kiss me and then chocked me saying “ I could k*ll your if I wanted too” …. Then went on like it was nothing.
Came to hang out and keep me company after I attempted s*icide. He had condoms in his pocket expecting to have sex with me! I told him how grossly inappropriate that is and he needs to leave. He shouted at me because he knows I'd slept with one of our friends in the past so why won't I sleep with him. What made Paul better than him? I probably shouldn't have gotten physical with him but I did collar drag him to the front door and push him outside. Never saw him again.
“I asked the question because I was quite surprised at how many men nowadays talk about how difficult women are to please, because I’ve never had any trouble having female friends or entering a relationship,” the OP told Bored Panda in a recent interview, adding that they never make any sexually charged comments at them, which might have something to do with it.
“Some of my female friends had stories about things guys did that were too ambiguous for the guy to know he was creepy,” they continued, “and I was so curious as to what men might miss that they do that turns out to be the nail in the coffin for a woman.”
Showed up at my work uninvited and hid around a corner. Texted me I looked great in my sweater.
Dude f**k ALL the way off.
Messaged several of my other guy friends and told them to stop talking to me because I was his girlfriend (I was not...).
The OP gave an example of a situation where a woman might see a red flag in a potential partner. “For instance, my friend got asked out on a first date—via Instagram, by a guy she had never met, who lived in her local area—to his house. To me, it was obvious that a lot of women would never agree to that, and my friend didn’t either. She also stopped talking to him, rather than suggesting some place else, because that alone said enough about his character for her.”
Relationship expert and co-founder of the personality type dating app ‘SO SYNCD’ Jessica Alderson said there might be no malicious intent behind such an invitation, but advised against accepting it nevertheless. "You just shouldn’t take that risk in terms of safety,” she told Mashable. “It’s completely acceptable to say that you would prefer to meet at a public place such as a bar or restaurant."
Punched a wall until his knuckles were all bloody and sent me the pictures bc I was on a date and didn’t respond to his texts for like 3 hours. He was “mad at himself” that he was jealous and “had to punish himself”.
I'd known him since we were seven years old. Through the Church kids and teens activity groups.
Even stayed on contact while I was out of state for college.
One of the first handful of people I came out to.
Even knowing i was gay, asked me for sex because he'd been in a dry spell. So since we where such good friends could I let him get off? He'd even really appreciate it, if I'd let him in raw, so he could feel the full pleasure of nutting. He'd probably finish fast, so it be just perfect if I let him have a few rounds.
He asked all this at the table during a lunch in my brother's house in front of 6 other people.
Yikes. Especially that dude said it all in front of 6 different people lol
He said, 'you made me do it' and convinced everyone that I lead him on. He is such a nice guy, they said. I was 16 and he was my dance teacher.
While discussing the netizens’ answers, the OP admitted that some made them “feel sorry for the guy for being stuck with the personality he has”. Others were difficult to read because of how often a woman’s trust has been broken or how many sexual remarks from all sorts of men they have had to endure.
“The replies, as well as my experiences with male friends, ultimately left me feeling that men had the power to influence women’s opinion of them a lot more than they thought,” the OP suggested. “I do think a lot of male conversation is about shock factor sometimes and it results in men saying appalling things to each other to get laughs.”
We went on a few dates but I just didn't feel the vibe so called it off. - He told me women who do such things get shot or get acid thrown in their face and face glass ceiling at work and I will never come up in life. - He bought a mug for me with my pictures on it smashed it and sent me the picture and then bought another mug as an apology. - He went to all the places we went on date and recreated the scene - ordered the same food, walked the same path trails etc.
Sent me pictures of his d**k, color and black and white, and asked me which one was better. Men honestly don’t understand how crushing it is when you think you’ve made a friend who respects you and actually likes you as a person only to realize he’s just been biding his time to f**k you. It’s like they think it’s a cheat code to sex, like instead of making it clear it’s their intention upfront they purposely lull you into being comfortable via friendship and then try to use that friendship as leverage to get what they want.
He messaged my dad on FB to tell him that he was his "nemesis" because I wouldn't hang out with him on my dad's birthday.
The OP told Bored Panda that they haven’t had a friend—male or female—who seemed like the nicest person ever, but turned out to be rather creepy. “But I do find it annoying when people make endlessly sexual remarks because it is intrusive and feels like there is a hidden motive. It’s like forcing bedroom talk on a surprised and unwilling participant,” they said.
Asked me when it would be “his turn” to date me because he’d listened to enough stories of guys not treating me right.
Had a friend like that - I was looking for a relationship and had a few dates through onlinedating, to get to know the men behind the profile. And he said, that it's unfair, that I date "all the men, but not him". - Yes, because I knew him already und knew, that I didn't want a relationship with him (also hat told him before, that I'm not interessted)
Broke down and told me if i wouldn’t f**k or date him, he was done with the (years long) friendship so i cut him out completely. showed up on my doorstop (not where i lived when i knew him!) years later to gift me a sketchbook he had when we knew each other which was a lot of pictures and comics he drew of me in lewd and/or romantic situations w him. I was an out lesbian and in a long term relationship the entire time i knew him.
He drove to my house from his place 2-3 hours away apparently to return some books I lent him, but actually was there to berate me over some photos I uploaded with a guy I was seeing. He was apparently so hurt that we had been friends for years but I never gave him a chance before dating someone else - it’s not a checkout mate, you don’t get ‘next’ because you were waiting in line!
The entitlement he felt to be ‘owed’ a sexual relationship because we had been friends (or so I thought) for years, was really gross. Especially that he thought it was ok to drive that far to confront me like I had betrayed him! He had also never put in the effort to visit my home prior to this. I am glad I got my books back though, because I never spoke to him again. It’s been 15 years or more and I haven’t regretted cutting him out of my life for a single second.
I caught him sneakily recording video of me without my consent during a pool party. He claimed he didn't even know his phone was recording and that it was an accident, so I asked to see his phone to verify and he refused.
It was a friend's birthday party so I didn't make waves (didn't want to ruin the party for the birthday girl), but I promptly blocked that guy on everything and never spoke to him again.
Told me his wife said he could sleep with me then tried to kiss me on a day we were in my new house alone and he was helping me paint. Told him to leave and he said he thought it would be okay because I just slept with another of my friends.
Got drunk and he let me crash at his place. Said I could take the bed and he’d take the couch. Woke up to him in the bed.
He was one of my closest friends and a friend of my ex of four years ish. And when my ex and I finally broke up for good my friend offered to hang out with me while I was going through it. I was crying and really upset about what had happened in the moment and just needed someone to talk to. Annnnnnnnnnnnnnd as I was crying with my head in my hands wiping my tears he grabbed my hands then my head and he tried to make out with me..
When I stopped him and asked wtf he was doing, he told me “I’ve always wanted to get with you…”
Time and place. Honestly too, if he would’ve just been a good friend to me during that time, we got along well enough that I would’ve given him a chance. But not after that lol.
Kept going in my room when I'd leave. I had a hidden camera because I was suspicious and saw him go into my room with no clothes on and I WAS STILL IN THE PARKING LOT RIGHT OUTSIDE MY BEDROOM WINDOW. That was the final straw and I packed all my s**t that night and left to my parents place a few hours away. Left a note stating what to do with the key when the lease was over. Told the leasing office he isn't allowed to resign and that was that. I feel horrible, but when he asked what was wrong I said "I'm not an idiot dude"...and he never said anything. Haven't talked to each other since. I have actual trauma from it all.
Edit: I wanted to add he also hid toilet paper from me during COVID panic when the stores were out, and told me about it a week later while dying of laughter saying he wanted me to have to find it myself. I was on my period, and didn't have toilet paper for a week. Meanwhile, he had a Costco size pack in his bedroom after I had asked him for days if he found any at the store. I went to the store everyday looking for toilet paper and let him borrow my car when I was busy to help look for some.
Guy I went to elementary school with, ran into him at a pool hall as adults after I had just gotten out of a long term and bad relationship. He was a friend of a friend, super polite and smiley, and in hindsight really EXTRA. He wanted to connect so we swapped numbers. We chatted the next day but I was going to help take care of my grandmother for a pacemaker surgery and a bit of her recovery and it was out of province but that we could touch base again when I got back to plan to hang out.
Over the next 5 days, I missed over 60 phone calls. He filled my VM. My grandmother lived in a seriously rural area so when I drove into civilization and was bombarded I just went “woah”.
The voice mails ran the gambit from “hey, enjoy your time with your grandma and we will talk when you get back” to “I knew you were a stuck up b***h the moment I laid eyes on you, you just want another s****y dude to treat you like garbage” and on and on. I blocked him and never saw him again.
Small town rumor mills being what they are, he married a friend of a friend’s sister and promptly beat the s**t out of her within a month of the wedding. She landed in the hospital and he’s got a RO and ran for the oil fields.
- Tried to kiss me while we were hanging out one on one because *his fiancée* was sick and couldn’t come. Accused me of leading him on by hanging out one on one. - Called me to “chat” but was clearly m*sturbating during the call. Two different guys btw.
Regular guy that was actually a good friend of mine. I went over to his place to hang out and play games, just the regular s**t. He tried to put his hand in my shorts after he put a movie on. After I told him no and got away from him, he started to yell at me about how much of a s**t I was and why he was never one of the people I had sex with and that he deserved it yada-yada-yada. I got the f**k out immediately.
He tried to use the "I was drunk" excuse, that guy was far from drunk. A little buzzed at most.
Asked me for pictures of my feet, and when I said "f**k no," he responded with "I get it, we can just pretend this never happened." Uhhhh, No the f**k we can't my dude 😂
I am currently rocking a rash from an allergy to a new brand of fabric softener. A doctor who stalked me (I used to work with him) asked me to send him pics. Like, what? Also turns out he was stalking me because he needed a visa document signed for his wife - I work for private medicals and he thought we would just sign some unknown person's visa papers. Like wut?
Never even met him, we just messaged briefly on Bumble. He just came on waaay too strong. Within maybe a couple hours of chatting on/off: called me his “dream girl,” offered to build me a dining table and various furniture, and just seemed to be latching very quick. Whatever chemistry he seemed to perceive was entirely one-sided. When I started responding slower (because I had things to do - imagine?) he called me a brat and starting complaining and generalizing about women. It was a whole lot of emotional volatility in a short amount of time. I didn’t feel his anger warranted a response.
It did warrant a response - a screenshot to the admins to get his a*s banned.
He offered to take my clothes down to the laundry room in our college dorm because he was already headed down. When I got there, my underwear was stacked/folded in a different way than it started…
Friends for 10 years and suddenly one day confessed his love for me & said he would threaten anyone that interferes. 10yr friendship flushed down the drain!
Also had a "nice guy" roommate at one point. He was always polite & cordial. My cat was ill, and spent a majority of time in my room. I set up a pet camera in my room so I could keep an eye on her while I was at work. One day I checked the camera and just so happened to see my "nice guy" roommate crawling out of my closet on all fours. That was fun.
I had been trying to distance myself for ages because he would constantly show up unannounced at my house, kept trying to suggest getting together which I shut down every time. In no way was I not clear I wasn’t interested in him or a relationship. He would invite himself everywhere! Then one day I came out of the shower and he was just sitting in my loungeroom. Buck a**e naked I lost my absolute s**t at him and blocked him everywhere. Of course I was the bad guy because he was such a nice guy and had no idea why I all of a sudden cut him off 🙄
I would of called the police. How dare he enter your home..and sitting there naked? I would of thrown him out my house wearing exactly what he had on when he was sat waiting. This person sounds bloody dangerous to me
Pretended he was gay, then went in to kiss me at his birthday party. This is after years of friendship and me sharing a lot of personal stuff with him.
Went to a club without him, with another friend, he came with his other friend and yelled at me for dancing with other people because he was my dance partner. Proceeded to get incredibly drunk and yell at me for not letting him kiss me. 2yrs of friendship, was completely blindsided.
Lots of other examples but after the last one, I stopped making new friends.
Invited himself into my dorm room, suggested we watch a movie, and proceeded to try to put p*rn on. Over a decade later and I'm still undecided whether it was a sexual thing he was getting off on or more of a power play to see how I'd react. Either way I was done with that friendship.
I had a guy who was a commuter to campus show up at my dorm room door (he had asked someone to let him into the locked dorm) totally uninvited. Knew I was going through a rough time, so claimed he was there to check on me. He SA me instead.
Created a creepy short movie using computer animation (and uploaded it to YouTube) where he and I were a couple. Tried to blame it on his friend.
Note: this post originally had 86 images. It’s been shortened to the top 30 images based on user votes.
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My dad was terrified my sister or I would be raped or abducted. As an adult I realize it was because of his f'd up ideas about women. He constantly cheated on my mom. Made gross comments to women. Told us that if he was a woman, he'd never work a day in his life. WTF, dad!
Ladies, please make sure every man, good or bad, that you know sees and reads this. Then discuss with him how he feels about these. And d**k pix are disgusting. And men: women aren't turned on by pix of junk or nudes like men are. In fact it's just the opposite.
I’ve had women ask for them. Why’s that? Probably scams?
Load More Replies... My dad was terrified my sister or I would be raped or abducted. As an adult I realize it was because of his f'd up ideas about women. He constantly cheated on my mom. Made gross comments to women. Told us that if he was a woman, he'd never work a day in his life. WTF, dad!
Ladies, please make sure every man, good or bad, that you know sees and reads this. Then discuss with him how he feels about these. And d**k pix are disgusting. And men: women aren't turned on by pix of junk or nudes like men are. In fact it's just the opposite.
I’ve had women ask for them. Why’s that? Probably scams?
Load More Replies...