Romantic relationships can be incredibly rewarding but they can also be difficult and exhausting. Why? Because after the initial butterflies settle, you and your partner both have to work to remain together. And not everyone is willing or capable to do so.
So when Reddit user Dazzling_Leopard4627 made a post on the platform, asking folks to share the red flags that scream "this couple isn't going to make it," people responded. From joint social media accounts to passive-aggressive nitpicking, here are some of the most popular answers.
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Having a “fix-it” baby
Adding lack of sleep, exhaustion and a tiny crying human can test a good relationship. A baby should never be used to fix things period!
When they're far more concerned about the wedding than the marriage...
Sneaky Bridezilla/Groomzilla dig 😂 wouldn't be BP without mentioning it!
When they take constant little digs at each other in a group setting. They may even claim to be joking, but you can tell they're not.
When the groom smashes the cake into the brides face.
Personally, I hate this anyway, even if both couples seem into it. Also, why waste the cake and trash your outfits, hair, make up etc?
When one party starts a fight in order to keep the relationship "interesting" or "spice things up". While conflicts or arguments are pretty normal, starting up one for the sake of not having a "boring relationship" is bonkers to me.
When the girl has abandoned her own identity to cater to what he wants
Controlling the other’s actions.
Won’t let them see friends/family, do hobbies or really anything alone and for themselves.
And that's why I have no friends any more and I can only go on Bored Panda when my bf isn't home. If he hears me typing, there's trouble.
I lived with this situation. Ex was shocked when I finally divorced him.
Isolation is a precursor to abuse. My ex gradually removed every person from my life who might influence me to leave him. He’d say things like “ I feel bad when you go visit your dad when you know he doesn’t like me.” Or “Those girls aren’t real a good influence on you, you shouldn’t keep hanging out with them, why can’t we just hang out instead? You like them more than you like me?”
Heard a female friend say about her fiancee, "oh he's my little project."
Lasted just over a year. S.h.o.c.k.i.n.g
One that I haven't seen mentioned yet: When the mother, family, or friend(s) dictates the relationship. I understand pointing out legitimate concerns/red flags out of concern. But the amount of jealousy and toxic behavior I come across on reddit of the mother/family/friend intentionally ruining the relationship with the help of the s/o is insane.
A relationship is between two people, who needs to have each others back, and make the decisions together. If someone else has a say through one of the partners (unwillinly for one party), you've got a problem.
Not giving each other the benefit of the doubt when a miscommunication or something happens. Quick to just assume the worse or habits.
I hate how that always happens in movies. Like if you trust your partner that little, why are you even still with them?? This is something that was actually handled really well in "Enchanted", when the princess falls over and lands on top of the guy just before his girlfriend walks in, and instead of flying off the handle she's mature about it and says "if you say nothing happened then nothing happened" before dropping the subject.
I was hanging out with someone, cooking and she said "Oh, take a video of me stirring this so that *boyfriend* knows that I'm actually doing what I said I was doing and not out cheating on him." Or something akin to that. They also bought a house together within 6 months.
His $700 Only Fans monthly bill. Their wedding is in July.
That's a lot of money for people who should have no place in the relationship....
Point scoring. Keeping track of who won the argument, who spent last weekend with friends and for how long, snippy jabs about those things in front of friends and family. Then when an argument inevitably breaks out, bringing out that mental tally and using it as verbal weapon to ‘win the argument’
Seen in happen in a few couples now. All divorced within 10 years
Heck I can't even remember what our last argument was about, I'd never remember to "tally up" who won. Also because we, y'know, work on problems instead of winning arguments. (Unless it's unimportant things like who was in a movie, voice actors, what year something happened, etc.)
When they have vastly different life/family goals. For example, one wants children and the other doesn’t.
Being open and honest towards the beginning of a relationship is the best policy, so both parties know roughly what the other wants, should hopefully avoid this! You don't want to be years in and suddenly discover the other person wants 10 kids and you don't!
One party making a whole f**kton of concessions for the other, and that being unidirectional. One person is compromising, but the other is just taking and taking and getting everything they want with no compromise in return.
Desperate people let themselves get taken advantage of because they're worried they'll never find another partner, or they'll be too old to have kids soon, or whatever. The second someone who isn't selfish comes along to attract the downtrodden partner, or when the selfish prick hits them or some other such Rubicon crossing, the relationship falls apart like wet tissue paper.
Reading the AITAH threads and reading all the, "My spouse suggested we open the marriage up to explore [reasons]" posts.
Might as well set a sweepstake at the same time with when divorce papers will be served!
Every time they argue, one of them starts talking about divorce.
I can't help but think this is a scare tactic meant to frighten the other person into giving in.
Correcting each other in public when it's unnecessary. "Joking" but really being mean. Sly comments and put downs..."oh we just joke around like that". Ok.
It's possible to have fun with insincere put downs, but most of the time that's not what's going on. My wife and I have completely erased all hostility in saying "F you" to each other, and our standard response is "yes please". To the point that we usually forget it's supposed to be an insult in normal context!
Contempt for the other persons hobbies, job, friends, values, abilities...
“I have to ask my husband if I can go.”
One party gets mad if the other even so much as looks at another person or even has a celebrity crush or something
Joint Facebook accounts
Every post they make is about how much they’re in love
They only talk about each other or their relationship
One of them has a substance problem
"I have to ask my husband" is not entirely bad. I always consult my plans with my wife. Maybe she planned something, maybe she needs me tonight for something (maybe I promised to finally fix something and forgot) and if nothing else, at least she needs to know that I will be somewhere not-home.
Excessive humble-bragging posts. Almost all the couples I’ve seen who do that on my social media, are now broken up. I can’t help but feel like there’s a correlation.
When one of them controls what the other one wears publicly like it’s normal.
When they don't do ANYTHING without the other one there.
Get a haircut, visit family, hang with friends etc
ALWAYS together.
This one is a bit unfair. Some people like to be together and it doesn't mean the relationship won't last. Some couples just like it and if both like it fair play to them
When my ex best friend said she was mad at her girl so while her girl was driving she sat in the passenger seat and put the car in park. Also had the cops called on them a couple of times. Still together, always post captions like “we have our hard times but we are so strong together” give me a break
I've known a couple that are that type. Numerous fights and arrests. (Both to blame) Been together for 42 years.
Kissing photos on social media the first week of dating
Note: this post originally had 50 images. It’s been shortened to the top 30 images based on user votes.
Moral of the story: Stay single. Get a cat or dog or both for companionship.
If everyone stayed single, the species would disappear. Actually, not a bad idea...
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being emotionally unavailable not talking about feelings or talking things through after an argument
I remember years ago watching a documentary about marital relationships. These sociologists were looking at healthy and unhealthy relationships. They had these couples who volunteered for counseling. While keeping them waiting, they had toys set up in the waiting room and watched what they did. Couples with unhealthy relationships were constantly tearing each other down, making disparaging comments. When playing even building with the same blocks, they were disconnected and doing their own thing. Couples with healthy relationships worked together, encouraged each other, cooperated.
Moral of the story: Stay single. Get a cat or dog or both for companionship.
If everyone stayed single, the species would disappear. Actually, not a bad idea...
Load More Replies... being emotionally unavailable not talking about feelings or talking things through after an argument
I remember years ago watching a documentary about marital relationships. These sociologists were looking at healthy and unhealthy relationships. They had these couples who volunteered for counseling. While keeping them waiting, they had toys set up in the waiting room and watched what they did. Couples with unhealthy relationships were constantly tearing each other down, making disparaging comments. When playing even building with the same blocks, they were disconnected and doing their own thing. Couples with healthy relationships worked together, encouraged each other, cooperated.
