Clueless, the iconic 1995 teen comedy, not only gifted us with unforgettable fashion moments but also a treasure trove of catchy quotes that have stood the test of time. Let’s take a trip down memory lane with Clueless quotes!
Who can forget Cher Horowitz’s perfectly clueless catchphrases? Few cinematic moments are more satisfying than watching the sassy Cher say “Ugh, as if!” It was an anthem of the ’90s. And still fits perfectly whenever you need a sassy retort.
And let’s not forget one of the best Clueless movie quotes: “She’s a full-on Monet.” That’s an astute observation for a 15-year-old reminding us that things aren’t always as they seem.
The best Cher quotes from the movie Clueless have given us an entire glossary of sass: There’s “Baldwin” (a good-looking guy), “Jeepin'” (making out in a car), and “Totally buggin’” (shock and denial at discovering something unexpected). Even decades later, these phrases still pop up and remind us of a time when plaid skirts, knee-high socks, and oversized cell phones reigned supreme.
The best thing about Clueless movie quotes is that they’re not only entertaining but also reflect the quirks of teenage life perfectly. They remind you not to take yourself too seriously and to embrace the absurdity of life. So, get ready to dive into these quotes from Clueless movie and refill your arsenal of catchy one-liners. “We’re rollin’ with the homies” now.
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“Until mankind is peaceful enough not to have violence on the news, there’s no point in taking it out of shows that need it for entertainment value.” - Cher
Mel: "What the hell is that?"
Cher: "A dress."
Mel: "Says who?"
Cher: "Calvin Klein."
I saw this movie in the theater opening night and I always thought Christian was a low-rent Jason Priestley knock off. Still do.
Cher: “If it’s a concussion, you have to keep her conscious, OK Ask her questions.”
Elton: “What’s seven times seven?”
Cher: “Stuff she knows!”
Mel: “Do you know what time it is?”
Cher: “A watch doesn’t really go with this outfit, Daddy.”
Cher: "You can't be the absolute and final word on drivers' licenses?"
DMV Tester: "Girlie, as far as you're concerned, I am the messiah of the DMV."
“You’re a virgin who can’t drive.” - Tai
“OK, but, street slang is an increasingly valid form of expression. Most of the feminine pronouns do have mocking, but not necessarily in misogynistic undertones.” - Murray
"What's with you, kid? You think the death of Sammy Davis left an opening in the Rat Pack?" - Mel
“Hey you [pointing at Christian]! Anything happens to my daughter, I got a .45 and a shovel, I doubt anybody would miss you.” BEST line in the movie. I have used it myself, as it lends itself really well to all manner of circumstances.
“He’s a disco-dancing, Oscar Wilde-reading, Streisand ticket-holding friend of Dorothy, know what I’m saying?” - Murray
“Dionne and I were both named after great singers of the past who now do infomercials.” - Cher
Mel: "Don't tell me those brain-dead lowlifes are calling me again."
Cher: "They ARE your parents."
“My plastic surgeon doesn’t want me doing any activity where balls are flying at my nose.” - Amber
Mr.Hall: [as Travis goes to jump out window] And could the suicide attempts PLEASE be postponed until the next period?
[In regards to losing her virginity]
“You see how picky I am about my shoes and they only go on my feet.” - Cher
“Oh, that’s good. You don’t want to be the last one at the coffeehouse without chin pubes.” - Cher
“No, she’s a full-on Monet. It’s like a painting, see? From far away, it’s OK, but up close, it’s a big old mess” - Cher
“I would like to say this. Tardiness is not something you can do on your own. Many, many people contributed to my tardiness. I would like to thank my parents for never giving me a ride to school, the LA city bus driver who took a chance on an unknown kid, and last but not least, the wonderful crew from McDonald’s who spend hours making those egg McMuffins without which I might never be tardy.” - Travis Birkenstock
Mel: “You mean to tell me that you argued your way from a C+ to an A-?”
Cher: “Totally based on my powers of persuasion, you proud?”
Mel: “Honey, I couldn’t be happier than if they were based on real grades.”
Josh: "I can't believe I'm taking advice from someone who watches cartoons."
Cher: "That's Ren and Stimpy. They're way existential."
Tai: "How do you know if we're doing it sporadically?"
Cher: "That's another thing, Tai. We've got to work on your accent and vocabulary. Sporadically. It means once in a while. Try to use it in a sentence."
[couple of minutes later]
Josh: "Be seeing you."
Tai: "Yeah, I hope not sporadically."
“She’s my friend because we both know what it’s like to have people be jealous of us.” - Cher
“Miss Stoeger, I would just like to say that physical education in this school is a disgrace. I mean, standing in line for 40 minutes is hardly aerobically effective. I doubt I’ve worked off the calories in a stick of Carefree Gum.” - Cher
"Well, you've certainly exercised your mouth, Cher. Now hit the ball."
“I don’t get it. Did my hair get flat? Did I stumble into some bad lighting? What’s wrong with me?” - Cher
“So OK, I don’t want to be a traitor to my generation and all, but I don’t get how guys dress today. I mean, come on, it looks like they just fell out of bed and put on some baggy pants and take their greasy hair and cover it up with a backwards cap and like, we’re expected to swoon? I don’t think so.” - Cher
Heather: "It's just like Hamlet said, 'To thine own self be true.'"
Cher: "Hamlet didn't say that."
Heather: "I think I remember Hamlet accurately."
Cher: "Well, I remember Mel Gibson accurately, and he didn't say that. That Polonius guy did."
Josh: "Look, I'm just curious. How many hours a day do you spend grooming yourself?"
Cher: "Some people are not lucky enough to be as naturally adorable as you are."
Josh: "Stop it, you're making me blush."
"Daddy's a litigator. Those are the scariest kind of lawyer. Even Lucy, our maid, is terrified of him. And daddy's so good he gets $500 an hour to fight with people. But he fights with me for free because I'm his daughter." - Cher
[while watching news about a war in Bosnia]
Josh: "You look confused."
Cher: "Well, I thought they declared peace in the Middle East."
“Cher, I don’t want to do this anymore. And my buns, they don’t feel nothin’ like steel.” - Tai
“Wasn’t my mom a total Betty? She died when I was young. A freak accident during a routine liposuction.” - Cher
Mel: "Where are you?"
Cher: "I'm just having a snack at my girlfriend's."
Mel: "Where, in Kuwait?"
Cher: "Is that in the valley?"
Josh: "Do you have any idea what you're talking about?"
Cher: "No. Why, does it sound like I do?"
“It’s like that book I read in the ninth grade that said, ‘Tis a far, far better thing doing stuff for other people.'” - Cher
Josh: “Hey, James Bond, in America we drive on the right side of the road.”
Cher: “I am. You try driving in platforms.”
Josh: "You look like Pippi Longstocking."
Cher: "Well you look like Forrest Gump. Who's Pippi Longstocking?"
Josh: "Someone Mel Gibson never played."
"So OK, you're probably thinking, "Is this, like a Noxzema commercial, or what?!" But seriously, I actually have a way normal life for a teenage girl. I mean I get up, I brush my teeth, and I pick out my school clothes." - Cher
Mel: “Josh, are you still growing? You look taller than you did at Easter.”
Josh: “I don’t think so.”
Mel: “Doesn’t he look bigger?”
Cher: “His head does.”
I used to listen to the soundtrack religiously and recite the whole movie in my head to song.
I used to listen to the soundtrack religiously and recite the whole movie in my head to song.
