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Seeing a good clapback is always satisfying. It's witty, has an element of justice, and can defend against unnecessary insults. The funnier it is, though, the more effective. We don't only want justice, we want to make the comeback sting more with a joke.

There is an X (Twitter) page that collects this sort of humor. People online say all sorts of things. And there's no shortage of wannabe comedians or just people with a well-developed funny bone online as well. Clever Comebacks is the place where one can find some witty roasts. So we invite you to scroll through our selection from this X page and tell us your own stories of clapping back in style.

#1

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Miki
Community Member
1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Finally a good one. I hope it will go up from 45th place.

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    #2

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    #3

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    Ray Ceeya (RayCeeYa)
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Already done thanks to Obama. Seriously my roommate is diabetic and when he got on ACA his insulin went from $500 per month to $50 per month. He literally cried he was so happy.

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    How many of us would want to be able to come up with witty comebacks on the spot? How often do most of us wonder how to clap back in the moment? Not an hour, a day, or a week later. The secret to a great comeback, according to a theater artistic director, is focusing, really focusing, on what the other person is saying.

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    Abigail Paul, the artistic director at the Theatre Language Studio (TLS) in Frankfurt, told the BBC in 2016 that you can't really plan a good comeback. It's like improv on stage in that regard – you work with what the other person is giving you. Paul claims that people think faster than other people speak. That gives them time to come up with a witty answer.

    #4

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    sbj
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    You're mixing up Atheists with Vegans

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    #5

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    Trophy Husband
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Or a deeply rooted desire to not hit my face on the cliff as I fall. I'm not afraid to die, I'm afraid of pain.

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    Roxy222uk
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Not being all consumed by the need for likes on social media

    ninjaTrashPandaBoom
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I encourage all "influencers" like this to try for their Darwin Award!

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    Trillian
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    First rule: If it's warm enough to be in a t-shirt I don't wear a wooly hat.

    Vada
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Not having the life insurance policy set up yet

    Danish Susanne
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    But even if you had would they pay out if you suicide?

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    Nonna_SoF
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The lack of ability to fly.

    AnnaB
    Community Member
    Premium
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It's a forced perspective photo. She's actually only about two feet off the ground.

    Psycho Princess
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Lack of strength is a good reason. I know I couldn't hold someone like that and not drop them.

    Papa
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My partner doesn't hate me.

    me McG
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Being actually proficient at Photoshop for one.

    TheGoodBoi
    Community Member
    Premium
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Ok but that water looks good

    Costa
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Wearing a tee-shirt AND a woolly hat is also dumb. Are you hot or cold? Make up your mind attention seekers!

    Id row
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Some people simply aren't smart enough to have self preservation instincts.

    Shiva Ho
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Not having a partner in the first place!

    Lotekguy
    Community Member
    Premium
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Falling for someone should be figurative, not literal.

    LastButNotLeast
    Community Member
    1 year ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    And the fact that my Weight Is more than my husband...

    Rosie Red
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    If she slips, she's taking him with her.

    Z Alexi
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Photoshopped...The guy has no weight or muscles to hold her up. She's barely touching rock that she's "standing" on...Photoshopped 100%.

    Baali Venomax
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Im not a cartoon character that can defy gravity

    Mickie Shea
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I really like her and want her in my life forever.

    Hi
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'll sit there. My wife might not be willing to do her part though. I'll ask.

    George Grant
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I would do it, but I don't have a green screen !

    Mosca Noche
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I’ve watched enough episodes of Dateline to know if she accidentally fail to her death, it won’t be by accident that their photo op ends up with cliff boy serving 10 years for involuntary manslaughter.

    Sami-Jo Ross
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Both of us are afraid of heights.

    Rebecca Derr
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Didn't one of them eventually die from some stunt they did?

    Joshua
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The fact that I love my partner and don't want to be responsible for putting her in harm's way.

    Courtney Christelle
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    A fear of heights and a distrust of people.

    Istvan Kozak
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Your pregnant????????? Woops my hand slipped

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    #6

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    Rizzo
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Looks like someone got their history knowledge from the Flintstones. ;)

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    Paul says good listening skills come in handy when coming up with a clever comeback. For those who want to hone their listening skills, she suggests a simple game of one-word volleyball. Two people build a story by quickly adding a word as a response to what the other person just said. 

    She uses the same technique when teaching improvisation theater. "The goal is that we let go of our own ego and our own ideas because a huge part of listening is that you really have to be willing to be changed by what's being said," Paul told the BBC.

    #8

    50 Epic Comebacks That Immediately Put Jerks In Their Place, As Shared On This X Page

    Due-News4850 Report

    Kappy Pfeiffer
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I love this one. But just like the sun and moon, it probably goes right over OP's head.

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    People begin hearing insults thrown at them in childhood. Although at that age they might seem insignificant, a child should know how to react properly. Psychiatrist Suzanne Bender, M.D., writes for Psychology Today that ignoring the other person doesn't always work. "Rude remarks without any pushback may continue, or even escalate," she added.

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    #12

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    Sebastián Rodríguez
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Considering the amount of rage... it might've been a printer.

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    Agreeing with the offender might work. But children should do so with humor. If a kid tells another child "You look like a grape in this shirt", the kid might retort with "Well, I love grapes and couldn’t be prouder to represent this fruit." Yet the problem with this is that it requires verbal agility and to think on one's feet. 

    #13

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    Trillian
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    There is no means of checking women's virginity either

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    #14

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    Spidercat
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    He cancelled the whole human race with a flood a few chapters later...

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    #15

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    Jeff White
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    And Polio, Ruebella, Measles, Pertussis, hell even Chicken Pox. Before a vaccine became available, approximately 100 US children, died each year from Chicken Pox.

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    However,children can practice and enhance their verbal agility. Bender suggests parents roleplay with their kids. That way, the child can take turns to be both the aggressor and the responder. Practicing these types of situations might increase the kid's confidence. Next time, they might have a clever comeback prepared, and that's incredibly empowering to a young child.

    #16

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    Spidercat
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "Get lost in a grocery store situated in a an ethnically diverse neighbourhood while trying to steal spices."....There, fixed it.

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    #17

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    Ray Ceeya (RayCeeYa)
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Also the left isn''t the one hoarding guns and ammo and preparing for a new civil war. We don't want war and bloodshed. That's kind of our thing.

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    #18

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    Kate
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I laughed a bit too loudly at that.

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    What's interesting is that "the battle of wits" is not an invention of social media. Pamela Druckerman writes for The New York Times about the movie "Ridicule", which examines the social injustices of late 18th-century France. It portrays French aristocrats as having a never-ending battle of wits.

    #20

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    #21

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    Whiskey Tango Delicious
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Living in California, the Swiss Cheese logic here is accurate.

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    The film is set on the eve of the French Revolution, and shows the corruption and callousness of the aristocrats. Those who were able to make their rivals look ridiculous, possessed 'esprit.' As Merriam Webster defines it, the term means 'vivacious cleverness or wit.' The movie’s tagline is this: "Wit opens every door."

    #22

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    Nonna_SoF
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Alright, so since no pastor alive today witnessed the s**t they preach about they're all false witnesses and therefore broke the 9th commandment.

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    #24

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    Jeff White
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Regardless of the man / woman context, this is the best response of all.

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    Druckerman likens this order of society to her daughter's playground. You and everyone around you is in a competition not to look ridiculous. "When my daughter complained that a boy had insulted her during recess, I counseled her to forget about it," Druckerman writes. "She said that just wouldn't do: To save face, she had to humiliate him."

    #25

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    #26

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    LakotaWolf (she/her)
    Community Member
    1 year ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Not to mention that just because two people of biologically opposite genders (male and female) have sex and conceive, that does NOT mean those people are or were “straight”. Bisexual people exist. Pansexual people exist. And non-binary people exist. And genderfluid people exist. Many people are capable of conceiving a child. Having sex that results in pregnancy does not automatically make the genetically-contributing parties “straight”.

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    #27

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    So if we're doomed to always be on our toes and have witty comebacks ready on the go, how do we make them land? Belina Raffy, a business improvisation consultant, told the BBC that it's best to respond to an insult in a positive way. She says that toxic banter turns the environment sour for every employee.

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    #29

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    I love my golden retriever
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Did they seriously just suggest daily prostitution as a retirement plan?

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    #30

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    Instead of being mean, says Raffy, try to reveal the "ridiculousness of the situation" and don't make the antagonist the bad guy. It's best to turn them into the "victim" of the circumstances. What are some examples? "If a colleague says, 'This project is going nowhere fast,' you could say, 'At least it's going and I intend to steer it in the right direction,'" Raffy suggests.

    #31

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    Ray Ceeya (RayCeeYa)
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Europeans didn't colonize America, they conquered it by committing genocide on the people who were already here.

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    #34

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    Debbie
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I still find this one funny. Honest and I bet Paul Felder also had to laugh about the response.

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    #36

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    Spidercat
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Aaah yes, the socialist funding structure of the US Army and the USPS.... Shhhh...don't tell the GOP.

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    #38

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    #39

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    SM
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The economics of government is just way above some people's heads... Actually, so is regular economics!

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    #40

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    Clown fish
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    We said you matter, we didn't say anything about our staff

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    #41

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    Roxy222uk
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Have you seen the size of those garages, too? Those are wealthy people.

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    #42

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    Clown fish
    Community Member
    1 year ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Maybe if you cover your face with a mask you might get some action to

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    #43

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    Jeff White
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I think the OP is a functional something, but BoredPanda doesn't allow bad words ...

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    #44

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    Helena
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    For the original question. Because it is my last name. You don't need another reason.

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    #45

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    Ray Ceeya (RayCeeYa)
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Kevin Sorbo is the guy famous for playing Hercules in the '90s TV series. He has since gone a little funny in the head and believes some very strange things.

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    #47

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    #48

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    Ryan-James O'Driscoll
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It's actually not a bad way to cook salmon. It's not a great way, but a healthy and simple dinner in 3 minutes. Fish will be nice and flaky.

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    #49

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    Jeff White
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Uh oh, you're trying to use sense or logic on a vaccine denier? It is astounding how ineffective that method is (although "I" think your example is brilliant). Well done.

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    #50

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    Mama Penguin
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Six pack abs are nice to look at, but dad bods are best for cuddling.

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    #52

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    Tabitha
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Like so many other religions, Muslims also have less draconian sects. Quit stereotyping.

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    #53

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    #54

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    Trillian
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    If I sit there (in a bar or anywhere) reading a book I specifically don't want anyone to "like" me

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    #55

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    Spidercat
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    When it comes to Christians Against Science... Proving it and changing their minds are not the same act.

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    #56

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    Ray Ceeya (RayCeeYa)
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "Digital Bread" is a great name for a prog rock album.

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    #57

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    Miki
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Again. Who suppose to be a jerk in here? For me its lidocaine.

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    #58

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    Kylie
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Bring back Henry Cavill. We don't care if it's relevant.

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    #59

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    Ray Ceeya (RayCeeYa)
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Oklahoma City. Charlottesville. Pulse nightclub. January 6th. I can go on.

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    #60

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    SM
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The guns used for Olympic sports are low caliber and have almost no kick to them.

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    #61

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    #62

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    Jeff White
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I appreciate your attempt at common sense. But people who are so deranged regarding vaccines are never going to be affected by math and science and the common sense stuff. I really wish I had something wise and profound to say and help, but I don't.

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    #63

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    #64

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    BrownTabby
    Community Member
    1 year ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    On a related note, am I the only one who would have gone bum over breakfast if I’d tried to run full tilt down a bunch of stairs in heels? And am I the only one who wants a version where she does fall down the stairs and the prince helps her and her clothes change back and she tells him what’s going on and he’s a bro and lets her stay with him and gets his guards to throw the stepbītches in the dungeon and “And she was STAYING AT HIS PLACE!” ensues?

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    #65

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    steve g
    Community Member
    1 year ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    If I'm earning 40k a month, suicide is going to be a long way over the horizon.

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    #66

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    #67

    Clever-Comebacks-Posts

    ulxma Report

    #68

    Clever-Comebacks-Posts

    clevcomebacks Report

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    #71

    Clever-Comebacks-Posts

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    Ray Ceeya (RayCeeYa)
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    One of my favorite YouTube channels is called "Worst Games Ever". I enjoy watching people play terrible games I'd never play.

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    #72

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    #73

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    Tee Pussi
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Good thing they circled the answer, wouldn't have spotted it otherwise.

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    #74

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    Meilin Kai
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I wish I could think up clever responses that quickly

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    #75

    Clever-Comebacks-Posts

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    SheamusFanFrom1987
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yup, because c'mon, you don't want to be known as Broke-cula now, do you?

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    #76

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    General Anaesthesia
    Community Member
    1 year ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "Over paid, over sexed, and over here". - About American soldiers stationed in Britain during WWII.

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    #78

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    Ray Ceeya (RayCeeYa)
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'd settle for Dennis Prager being eaten alive by alligators.

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    #80

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    Ray Ceeya (RayCeeYa)
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Pronouns this woman used to make that statement. "I" (several times), everyone, your, we. These people don't know what pronouns are do they?

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    #82

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    Jennifer Mathison
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    But the “creator economy’’s” product couldn’t be made without the existence of the Netflix one?

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    #83

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    BrownTabby
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    So…children…should not…act out scenes from their favourite shows…during…their designated play time…? Is that what you’re trying to say here?

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    #85

    Imagine How Much Harm They Do

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    Scarlett Pettis
    Community Member
    1 year ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Y E S S S Treat your children with kindness, dignity, respect, and empathy, and they will grow up to to be functionally awesome members of the world.

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    #86

    50 Epic Comebacks That Immediately Put Jerks In Their Place, As Shared On This X Page

    BloomSavvy Report

    Honey
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This is the best action and reaction. Should be #1