ADVERTISEMENT

Have you ever thought of the best comeback only after it was too late? Right before bed, while taking a shower or standing in an elevator, you get your light-bulb moment: “Ahh, why didn't I think of it before?” The French even came up with a term for that, l'esprit de l'escalier—the spirit of the staircase—and it means that the perfect retort arises only when it doesn't matter anymore.

However, this does not apply to everyone. A select few have the superpower of coming up with snappy one-liners on the spot, and the r/CleverComebacks subreddit is the site to go for these legendary comments. As the moderators put it, “If someone just got shown up, this is the place to post it.“

So make sure to scroll down and upvote your favorite retorts! And if you can't get enough of snappy comebacks, make sure to check out Bored Panda's previous posts here, here and here.

#1

He Was Asking For It!

He Was Asking For It!

LittleJohnny_nutter Report

A B C
Community Member
4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

What a prick. I'm against violence, but that idiot was screaming for it.

View more comments

If you'd like to share a post on the “Clever Comebacks“ subreddit page, there are a few rules you need to follow. Firstly, you should know what a witty comment is.

According to the moderators, it's “responses to someone that, for lack of a better word, roasts them”. Also, baseless insults, tasteless jokes, and “no, u” style replies are considered garbage content, and nobody likes them.

When you think about it, the only obvious goal when trying to think of a snappy comeback is to get a good laugh and share your original thought. And the same applies to real-life situations.

If you hate those awkward moments when your friends or coworkers throw you a snide comment and everything that comes to your mind sounds lame, don't worry. In real life, not many people can be as clever as Dr. House or Chandler Bing, but there are a few ways you can improve your reactions and become wittier.

ADVERTISEMENT
RELATED:
    #2

    Bless This Woman

    Bless This Woman

    sp0okygorl Report

    One of the things that could make you better is the world of improv acting. When it comes to showing your wit, timing is everything. The reply should be as spontaneous as the words that took you by surprise. One way of improving would be to become a better active listener. As Abigail Paul, workshop facilitator and training developer, told the BBC, “people think faster than others speak, giving the listener “extra time“ to compose an answer, even while they give the appearance of still listening to what the other person is saying.”

    Come to think of it, there have been many times when we already wanted to share an idea with the person who's not yet finished talking. “Most of us don't listen to the whole message,” Paul said, “we are just waiting to make our own points.” So if you want to whip out snappy remarks, you should actively listen to what the other person is saying and use the unexpected material she or he gave you.

    ADVERTISEMENT
    #3

    Not Be A Baby Machine

    Not Be A Baby Machine

    lucynyu13 Report

    A B C
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "the transformed wife"? "godly womanhood"? Gosh, that lady is so brainwashed, it's sparkling inside her head.

    View more comments
    ADVERTISEMENT
    #4

    This Always Makes Me Laugh

    This Always Makes Me Laugh

    atiredindian Report

    Michelle
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    As much as I don’t like a lot of PETAs ways of doing things, this reply did make me laugh

    View more comments

    Sometimes, when we receive a biting remark, we might feel offended. Belina Raffy, a business improvisation consultant, said that negative comments usually come from a place of insecurity. So when it comes to your coworker who constantly tosses you rude remarks, remember that responding positively might ease the pressure and keep projects going smoothly. ”Positive witty comments build trust among colleagues, bosses and subordinates, and they can turn a formerly harsh environment into an accepting one,” Raffy said.

    ADVERTISEMENT
    #5

    It Was Social Distancing Haha

    It Was Social Distancing Haha

    BelleAriel Report

    Raven Sheridan
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Clearly this person got their prehistoric knowledge from watching The Flintstones.

    View more comments
    #6

    They Don't Give A Damn

    They Don't Give A Damn

    blaze_uchiha999 Report

    Kristin Burggraf
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Can I interest you in some fairtrade organic aloe for that... BURN?!?!?!

    View more comments

    Another great tip would be silencing your inner critic: “It’s about letting go of the need to judge ourselves,” Raffy explains. You should try saying what's on your mind without thinking about it. In improv theater, actors try to let go of their inner voice and give in to their “deepest fantasies” in order to say something spontaneous that they would never say in real life.

    ADVERTISEMENT
    #7

    Oof. That Burn Needs Some Love

    Oof. That Burn Needs Some Love

    BelleAriel Report

    Grumble O'Pug
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    *opens a GoFundMe for aloe vera purchases at Walgreens*

    View more comments
    ADVERTISEMENT
    #8

    German History Lesson

    German History Lesson

    frncscbtncrt Report

    Me Me
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    - printing press - light bulb - telephone - tape recorder - turntable - mp3 - tv - first freely programmable computer - generator - automobile - jet engine - helicopter - jeans - toothpaste - periodic table of elements - theory of relativity - x-rays - nuclear fission - bacteriology - aspirin Just to name a few.

    View more comments
    #9

    A Punchline From Twitter, Does This Count As A Meme?

    A Punchline From Twitter, Does This Count As A Meme?

    ClaireDacloush Report

    WHY
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    3 unskippable ads, all of which are 15 seconds long, making me forget what I actually wanted to watch

    View more comments

    Let's not forget the brands that make clever comebacks a key part of their communication with customers. One obvious example is the fast-food chain Wendy's and their made-up social media holiday—National Roast Day. Their communications team does not hold back when it comes to witty replies in their social channels. The question is, do the customers actually value it?

    #10

    Someone Needs A Refresher On Anatomy

    Someone Needs A Refresher On Anatomy

    Firethorn101 Report

    Otter
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    So THAT'S how his wife explained all those kids, even if he never had sex with her while awake!

    View more comments
    ADVERTISEMENT
    ADVERTISEMENT
    #11

    That's A Good Proof

    That's A Good Proof

    ekmadeye Report

    #12

    Got Roasted By A Police Twitter

    Got Roasted By A Police Twitter

    A_Tired_Indian Report

    Katherine Heasley
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It's so awful when the police murder someone like this.

    View more comments

    A survey by Sprout Social suggests that such responses are actually not appreciated by customers. Brand personality should connect your product to its consumers but as it turns out, that's not always the case. Sprout surveyed 1,000 consumers on which traits they want brands to share on social media and what action behaviors like humor or friendliness cause.

    #13

    It Is Funny But True

    It Is Funny But True

    johnmory Report

    ADVERTISEMENT
    #14

    Yep May Be It Is True

    Yep May Be It Is True

    johnmory Report

    Andy Acceber
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It's not illegal to seek asylum. Also, documented immigrants have lower rates of committing violent, property, or drug crimes than native-born citizens. Undocumented immigrants have rates even lower than them. The anti-immigrant, xenophobic fear-mongering that happens here is ridiculous and repulsive. Here's the research if anyone needs to educate friends or family: https://www.pnas.org/content/117/51/32340

    View more comments
    ADVERTISEMENT
    #15

    Whatever Your Weakness, There's A Hellion To Exploit It

    Whatever Your Weakness, There's A Hellion To Exploit It

    free-whitebird Report

    River Webb
    Community Member
    4 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    do you think Jeff has anymore d*** rockets? I need to get off this planet, permanently

    View more comments

    It seems that “three-quarters of consumers surveyed believe there’s value in brands exhibiting humor on social but only one-third actually want brands to bring on the snark full force.” The majority of consumers buy from brands that are honest, helpful and friendly. “It turns out that at the end of the day, consumers want brands to use social as a customer care channel”, Sprout explains. So while this kind of risky brand personality offers you a great deal of exposure, it seems that it's actually bad for business.

    #16

    Most Of Us Are Too

    Most Of Us Are Too

    PLASMABOLT111 Report

    ADVERTISEMENT
    #17

    Elon Musk Gets Destroyed By Facts And Logic

    Elon Musk Gets Destroyed By Facts And Logic

    ZaackHunt Report

    Thundernight
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Space doesn't represent hope for me though-

    View more comments
    #18

    Simple Math To Hard

    Simple Math To Hard

    uncle_russell_90 Report

    ADVERTISEMENT

    Lastly, for a clever comeback to be considered great, it has to be honest. "The best retorts speak truth — when a person calls something that the other people didn't see," said Paul. "That's generally what makes us laugh." So if you think of a clever comeback that's piercingly accurate and say it right there on the spot, you feel absolutely great because you know that you've earned it.

    #19

    True Perfection Has Been Achieved

    True Perfection Has Been Achieved

    ekiechi Report

    Penelope
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This made me truly laugh out loud. Well done!

    View more comments
    ADVERTISEMENT
    #20

    Old But Gold

    Old But Gold

    Y_Z_P Report

    Julie C Rose
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Congratulations to Australia for deporting her when she acted like a brat about quarantining.

    View more comments
    #21

    Accessible Parking, But Only During Office Hours

    Accessible Parking, But Only During Office Hours

    LMF5000 Report

    Lyone Fein
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Daniel clearly has some disabilities of his own.

    View more comments
    #22

    I Swear It Was On

    I Swear It Was On

    lucynyu13 Report

    ADVERTISEMENT
    #23

    Jesus Statues vs. Police State

    Jesus Statues vs. Police State

    Pleasant-Force Report

    Sasha
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    No one has a problem with Jesus trust me. Not even Muslims. Its christian assholes that are the problem.

    Tiger Pearl
    Community Member
    4 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    To the people who say that Muslims have a problem with Jesus… they consider him a prophet. So they do not have a problem with him. So many people do not bother to really know anything about different cultures/religions and just let insults and ignorance fly from their mouths.

    Load More Replies...
    JimmiesCumSock
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Do people really think Jesus was a white man??

    Andy Acceber
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm not religious, but even I know: "You shall not make for yourself an image in the form of anything in heaven above." Exodus 20:4. Get over your statues.

    Becky Samuel
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The whole point of Christianity is that Jesus represented a new covenant between God and humanity. It is not even physically possible to follow all of the laws in the Old Testament because they directly contradict each other.

    Load More Replies...
    MadRatter
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "Schlapp" in German means limp. His brain's probably like that...

    Calyfan Yelood
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Doesn't the third commandment talk about not making any images of God anyway? Why do we have statues of Jesus?

    Halle
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Jesus was a part of a new covenant- a new set of rules. When he died for us and paid a debt we couldn't, we got the holy spirit, which guides us in stuff like that. (before the holy spirit, everyone abided by EXACTLY what God said to do, because they didn't have him to show them what was right and wrong). For example, a lot of things- like the tattoos and meat- were because people in the old testament didn't know about hygene. Of course it wasn't safe to inject ink in your skin with unsterilized needles! Anyways- hope that makes sense! :)

    Load More Replies...
    BrunoVI
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Jews are white. But states almost always massacre dissenters once they become powerful enough to do so.

    This acc is a joke lol
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    all i can think of when i look at that mans last name is schlatt ;-;

    Andrea Careless
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    If the reports are accurate, yes, Jesus was put to death by order of a Roman official. But it was Jesus’ own people — a politically strong religious group — who pressured the official to kill him. Also, the Roman Empire wasn’t a police state.

    Mazer
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Amy 2.0 mother of unicorns - keeper

    LestWeForget11Nov
    Community Member
    8 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    So a lot of people consider Jews "white"... yet Jesus is somehow "a black/brown man"...

    Katherine Heasley
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This is what happens when you equate the US and Christianity.

    Lori
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Good thing they didn't execute Jesus by decapitation. It would make for even stranger jewelry.

    DC
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Matt truly has a Schlappschwanz. Or he is one? May also be...

    Thomas Sweda
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I, more or less, practice a faith, but I always wonder about those asking for “special” considerations. Are they at the exclusion of others, praying also? Does Schlapp, for example, not want God to help other countries?

    Lena Flising
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Jesus was from the Middle East, not from the US of A.

    Ryan Deschanel
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm pretty sure it has already happened before.

    Jo Firth
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Never ceases to amaze me that 'God fearing white supremists' don't realise that a man born in Africa thousands of years ago would be black.

    Andrea Careless
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    He wasn’t born in Africa. Check your map. He was a Middle Eastern Jew, brown skin, not black. And it was only just over 2 thousand years ago.

    Load More Replies...
    charlie_986532@yahoo.com
    Community Member
    4 years ago

    This comment has been deleted.

    Brandy Grote
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Unclear on that "graven images" thing, are we, Matt?

    kjorn
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    sold by his brothers

    John David Miller
    Community Member
    4 years ago

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    Who says Jesus is black. The Bible says he’s white

    Halle
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    .... this is satyrical, right...? Where exactly...? The bible says mary and joseph came from the middle east, so unless you think two middle eastern people just popped out a white baby because it's the "superior race" or whatever, then...?

    Load More Replies...
    Lyone Fein
    Community Member
    4 years ago

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    Probably not...........and he was Jewish, not black.

    View more comments
    ADVERTISEMENT
    #24

    Finnally A Manager Making A Comeback

    Finnally A Manager Making A Comeback

    KiRiT000000 Report

    ADHORTATOR
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    So did the English, but in France we did never regret it :-)

    View more comments
    #25

    Found This While Browsing Instead Of Sleeping

    Found This While Browsing Instead Of Sleeping

    vermbraunt Report

    Raven Sheridan
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Ouch! Classical Greek burn. I take my hat off to you good sir! 🎩

    View more comments
    #26

    Would You Like Some Whine With That?

    Would You Like Some Whine With That?

    BelleAriel Report

    Caro Caro
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Waaahaha, what a great answer. Wright got it right !

    View more comments
    ADVERTISEMENT
    #27

    F*cking Sheep

    F*cking Sheep

    DaFunkJunkie Report

    ADVERTISEMENT
    #28

    English Unchanged

    English Unchanged

    ComfortableNobody457 Report

    #29

    He Makes A Good Point

    He Makes A Good Point

    Sadlysoul Report

    #30

    Technically He Spoke Genders Into Existence Because By His Very Word He Can Create

    Technically He Spoke Genders Into Existence Because By His Very Word He Can Create

    johnmory Report

    Stefan
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I can imagine Darwin spitting his tea reading this.

    View more comments
    ADVERTISEMENT
    #31

    I Prayed For Help And God Sent Doctors With The Vaccine, I Said "No Thanks, I'm Waiting For God To Help Me"

    I Prayed For Help And God Sent Doctors With The Vaccine, I Said "No Thanks, I'm Waiting For God To Help Me"

    ChrisMMatthews Report

    Adrian
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    So, God sent doctors with vaccines which had been developed by other doctors using the brains God gave them, and you turned them all down. Wow!

    View more comments
    ADVERTISEMENT
    #32

    One For The Burn Ward

    One For The Burn Ward

    My_Memes_Will_Cure_U Report

    Fred L.
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    A real shame; she has become such a nutcase.

    View more comments
    #33

    Mindy Kaling Shuttin’ ‘Em Down

    Mindy Kaling Shuttin’ ‘Em Down

    needmemes Report

    Jess Thompson
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Mindy kalig is a highly underestimated genius

    View more comments
    #34

    Not Sure What Is The Objective Is Here?

    Not Sure What Is The Objective Is Here?

    BelleAriel Report

    Trillian
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    99.9% of the people claiming something is "socialism" don't have any idea what socialism means

    View more comments
    ADVERTISEMENT
    #35

    Nasa Is Untrustworthy

    Nasa Is Untrustworthy

    EstablishmentEast922 Report

    Nandina
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Ignorance is the absence of knowledge. Stupidity is the presence of knowledge and the refusal to use it. Paul Coelho

    View more comments
    ADVERTISEMENT
    #36

    It Really Is The Churches Motto Tho

    It Really Is The Churches Motto Tho

    Adorable_Document665 Report

    GoodWolf
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Really? A pastor saying "show up acting stupid and find out if we have guns"?? WTF and I'm not even religious

    View more comments
    #37

    The Real Deal

    The Real Deal

    BelleAriel Report

    River Webb
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    even if he stays out of the emergency room (which he should) he'll still impact others, either by transmitting the disease to the vulnerable or to spread misinformation.

    View more comments
    #38

    She Seems So Dumb

    She Seems So Dumb

    prabhjyoth Report

    River Webb
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'll pay 38 dollars for a burrito if it means someone is able to pay their bills

    View more comments
    ADVERTISEMENT
    #39

    I'm Not A Gamer For Nothing

    I'm Not A Gamer For Nothing

    Reasyx_ Report

    Little Wonder
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Also video games are fun, and there's no age limit on fun.

    View more comments
    ADVERTISEMENT
    #40

    Why Do Some People Want Others To Have It Bad Cruz They Had ? Hope This Isn't Already Here

    Why Do Some People Want Others To Have It Bad Cruz They Had ? Hope This Isn't Already Here

    Ghanima81 Report

    River Webb
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    why is there such a big obsession with the military, I mean killing others or getting yourself killed is hardly a good thing

    View more comments
    #41

    Look I Made A Joke

    Look I Made A Joke

    BelleAriel Report

    River Webb
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    you can't spell stupid without u, except this probably isn't a coincidence

    View more comments
    #42

    Does Jlo Have A Reply To That?

    Does Jlo Have A Reply To That?

    drrhodium Report

    ADVERTISEMENT
    #43

    In 1919 And 1920, At The Very Start Of His Career, Tolkien Worked On The Staff Of The Oxford English Dictionary; He Later Said Of This Time That He “.. Learned More In Those Two Years Than In Any Other Equal Period Of My Life”

    In 1919 And 1920, At The Very Start Of His Career, Tolkien Worked On The Staff Of The Oxford English Dictionary; He Later Said Of This Time That He “.. Learned More In Those Two Years Than In Any Other Equal Period Of My Life”

    TheDuhDuhMan Report

    ADVERTISEMENT
    #44

    It Works Both Ways!

    It Works Both Ways!

    TelesticWarriorr Report

    River Webb
    Community Member
    4 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    honestly pack your bags and leave, save your husband the trouble

    View more comments
    #45

    He Wants The Ring Please

    He Wants The Ring Please

    ameece24 Report

    Grumble O'Pug
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    You can slide off a door into oblivion, too.

    View more comments
    #46

    Don’t Mistake Empathy For Weaknesses

    Don’t Mistake Empathy For Weaknesses

    BelleAriel Report

    beastmachine.
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I am pretty sure he didn't get who his father's son is...

    View more comments
    ADVERTISEMENT
    See Also on Bored Panda
    #47

    Getting Schooled

    Getting Schooled

    DaFunkJunkie Report

    River Webb
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    how do people who barely managed a high school degree get into parliament?

    View more comments
    ADVERTISEMENT
    See Also on Bored Panda
    #48

    Fake Incest Go!

    Fake Incest Go!

    ViperSniper1550 Report

    #49

    State Representative Got Owned!

    State Representative Got Owned!

    DeFoerest Report

    Tamra Stiffler
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It disgusts me to my core when adults use children to further their political or personal ideology.

    View more comments
    #50

    He Really Went There

    He Really Went There

    HonestlySeymour , bazecraze Report

    ADVERTISEMENT
    See Also on Bored Panda
    #51

    What He Say?

    What He Say?

    Joe_Black03 Report

    River Webb
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    he gave him the silent treatment afterwards

    View more comments
    ADVERTISEMENT
    See Also on Bored Panda
    #52

    Well Played, The Almighty

    Well Played, The Almighty

    TheTrapKing2021 Report

    Marcellus II
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    When I hold hands with my partner, I always hold both hands. Very inconvenient and somewhat unusual, but hey I can't take the chance they're masturbating with the other.

    View more comments
    #53

    Only In Santa Clarita

    Only In Santa Clarita

    BigbyDirewolf Report

    #54

    She Said Over Her Dead Body......

    She Said Over Her Dead Body......

    Master1718 Report

    Lord Mysticlaw
    Community Member
    4 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I probably shouldn't be laughing. But I am.

    View more comments
    ADVERTISEMENT
    See Also on Bored Panda
    #55

    I Laughed Too Hard At This

    I Laughed Too Hard At This

    chickenman2359 Report

    Marcellus II
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    There's entire books written without specific letters. From 6th century BC to present, that kind of wordgames have been in French, English, Turkish, German, ... and it's called a https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lipogram

    View more comments
    ADVERTISEMENT
    See Also on Bored Panda
    #56

    To Dress Up

    To Dress Up

    biscuitbutt11 Report

    A B C
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    24/7 sounds inconvenient. On the other hand, if you keep your suit on while having a shower, it'll wash out the creases from sleeping in it, right? /s

    View more comments
    #57

    Stop Complaining

    Stop Complaining

    DerpyDuck51 Report

    #58

    Naked Truth

    Naked Truth

    yaki15 Report

    Spikey boi
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Ouch. That is a nasty racist comment down below. Ignore that and take a Kitten instead! 🐱🐱🐱

    View more comments
    ADVERTISEMENT
    See Also on Bored Panda
    #59

    Eddie The Eagle

    Eddie The Eagle

    z3ri Report

    River Webb
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "now this young woman who has probably only jumped once in her life, will now be attempting the long jump! Look at her go, and she's made it! A full centimetre, a round of an applause for this fantastic lady!"

    View more comments
    ADVERTISEMENT
    #61

    No, Not Like That!

    No, Not Like That!

    BelleAriel Report

    #62

    He Did Spell It Wrong

    He Did Spell It Wrong

    lilyeet0 Report

    Marcellus II
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    How did a "novelist" get an "Oxford comma" there!?

    View more comments
    ADVERTISEMENT
    ADVERTISEMENT
    #64

    Screw Caitlyn Jennerule

    Screw Caitlyn Jennerule

    TheProgressiveReport Report

    Caro Caro
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That whole fu*king family needs to be canceled.

    View more comments
    #66

    Family Problems

    Family Problems

    randomkid_2008 Report

    Robyn Jones
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    *Childhood trauma enters the chat* 😅

    View more comments
    ADVERTISEMENT
    #67

    Friend Sent Me This Screen-Grab About “Alpha” Males Against Dating Trans Women And That Is One Hell Of A Burn

    Friend Sent Me This Screen-Grab About “Alpha” Males Against Dating Trans Women And That Is One Hell Of A Burn

    ActionOverLies Report

    River Webb
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    you'll need a fire brigade for that burn

    View more comments
    ADVERTISEMENT
    #68

    Still Chasing That Dollar

    Still Chasing That Dollar

    ag425 Report

    Monday
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    For some context. This guy absolutely loves telling people he's the baby on the cover. He likes the attention and the reason behind the lawsuit was that he wanted more money.

    View more comments
    #69

    A Pretty Thorough Demolition

    A Pretty Thorough Demolition

    the-dogsox Report

    Caro Caro
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    AOC always finds the right words for the worst burns.

    View more comments
    #70

    There Was An Attempt

    There Was An Attempt

    kovopobg Report

    Grumble O'Pug
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I should have named my horse John Bon Pony!

    View more comments
    ADVERTISEMENT
    ADVERTISEMENT
    #72

    When You Try To Act Smart Only To Be Told Off

    When You Try To Act Smart Only To Be Told Off

    reddit.com Report

    Penelope
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    1905 the Supreme Court backed a municipal mandate on the smallpox vaccination. Which is why smallpox isn’t currently a threat to these jackasses or their offspring.

    View more comments
    #73

    He So Right

    He So Right

    L4993Rz Report

    Brendan Roberts
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    He's right - chimps are deeply uncivilised. They should follow one of our courtships: approach a girl, flirt with her a little, drop a pill in her drink, rape her, and then claim she was asking for it because she wore a short skirt.

    View more comments
    #74

    Under An Ask Reddit Post, Holy Shit I Was Laughing For 20 Minutes

    Under An Ask Reddit Post, Holy Shit I Was Laughing For 20 Minutes

    SURGEFACE Report

    ADVERTISEMENT
    #75

    When You Get Caught Being Stupid...

    When You Get Caught Being Stupid...

    randomkid_2008 Report

    River Webb
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    thats pointless, you can just use a canoe

    View more comments
    ADVERTISEMENT
    #76

    “For Whom Cnn Won’t Cheerlead?!”

    “For Whom Cnn Won’t Cheerlead?!”

    bodyelectrick Report

    #77

    Roman Emperors, Hopefully This Title Is Long Enough

    Roman Emperors, Hopefully This Title Is Long Enough

    fftropstm Report

    Adam Jeff
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Legit question though, they are whiter than any Italian I've met

    View more comments
    #78

    My Man Got Insulted Real Bad, Real Quick

    My Man Got Insulted Real Bad, Real Quick

    Gamer5046 Report

    XSpooky_Mint
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Some people were dropped as children, but this person clearly had a brick dropped on their head, repeatedly

    View more comments
    ADVERTISEMENT
    #79

    Makes A Great Point

    Makes A Great Point

    turbo_nerd76 Report

    ADVERTISEMENT
    #80

    “How This Millennial Paid Off His Student Loans By Playing Children’s Games”

    “How This Millennial Paid Off His Student Loans By Playing Children’s Games”

    BelleAriel Report

    #81

    Hey Jr, It’s “Father, ” Not “Fat Her”

    Hey Jr, It’s “Father, ” Not “Fat Her”

    butmuhfreedoms Report

    #82

    This Response To An Antivax Conspiracy Theorist

    This Response To An Antivax Conspiracy Theorist

    boostedgear1 Report

    ADVERTISEMENT
    #83

    Did You Do Long Jump In High School?

    Did You Do Long Jump In High School?

    MurderousFaeries Report

    WilvanderHeijden
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "I think we do need stricter gun laws." "So now you're telling us you are anti constitution?"

    ADVERTISEMENT
    #84

    I Love Ignorant Christians

    I Love Ignorant Christians

    buradly42 Report

    A B C
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That's just your average Reddit burn IMO, not a brilliant comeback.

    View more comments
    #85

    You Broke-A** Willy Wonka

    You Broke-A** Willy Wonka

    WonderfulYoghurt3197 Report

    ZAPanda
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Ironic considering he attended an expensive highschool on the blood and backs and sweat of low-income south africans who built it.

    View more comments
    #86

    Seriously Though, We Need To Get Our Hands On Those Lottery Numbers

    Seriously Though, We Need To Get Our Hands On Those Lottery Numbers

    nicholisd Report

    ADVERTISEMENT
    #87

    Ohhhh Bitlife

    Ohhhh Bitlife

    Miaisfunladybuglover Report

    Max
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "No-one wants to be a dog." I mean, it depends on the dog. Mine seems to have a pretty good life.

    View more comments
    ADVERTISEMENT