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Have you ever thought of the best comeback only after it was too late? Right before bed, while taking a shower or standing in an elevator, you get your light-bulb moment: “Ahh, why didn't I think of it before?” The French even came up with a term for that, l'esprit de l'escalier—the spirit of the staircase—and it means that the perfect retort arises only when it doesn't matter anymore.

However, this does not apply to everyone. A select few have the superpower of coming up with snappy one-liners on the spot, and the r/CleverComebacks subreddit is the site to go for these legendary comments. As the moderators put it, “If someone just got shown up, this is the place to post it.“

So make sure to scroll down and upvote your favorite retorts! And if you can't get enough of snappy comebacks, make sure to check out Bored Panda's previous posts here, here and here.

#1

He Was Asking For It!

He Was Asking For It!

LittleJohnny_nutter Report

A B C
Community Member
4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

What a prick. I'm against violence, but that idiot was screaming for it.

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If you'd like to share a post on the “Clever Comebacks“ subreddit page, there are a few rules you need to follow. Firstly, you should know what a witty comment is.

According to the moderators, it's “responses to someone that, for lack of a better word, roasts them”. Also, baseless insults, tasteless jokes, and “no, u” style replies are considered garbage content, and nobody likes them.

When you think about it, the only obvious goal when trying to think of a snappy comeback is to get a good laugh and share your original thought. And the same applies to real-life situations.

If you hate those awkward moments when your friends or coworkers throw you a snide comment and everything that comes to your mind sounds lame, don't worry. In real life, not many people can be as clever as Dr. House or Chandler Bing, but there are a few ways you can improve your reactions and become wittier.

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    #2

    Bless This Woman

    Bless This Woman

    sp0okygorl Report

    One of the things that could make you better is the world of improv acting. When it comes to showing your wit, timing is everything. The reply should be as spontaneous as the words that took you by surprise. One way of improving would be to become a better active listener. As Abigail Paul, workshop facilitator and training developer, told the BBC, “people think faster than others speak, giving the listener “extra time“ to compose an answer, even while they give the appearance of still listening to what the other person is saying.”

    Come to think of it, there have been many times when we already wanted to share an idea with the person who's not yet finished talking. “Most of us don't listen to the whole message,” Paul said, “we are just waiting to make our own points.” So if you want to whip out snappy remarks, you should actively listen to what the other person is saying and use the unexpected material she or he gave you.

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    #3

    Not Be A Baby Machine

    Not Be A Baby Machine

    lucynyu13 Report

    A B C
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "the transformed wife"? "godly womanhood"? Gosh, that lady is so brainwashed, it's sparkling inside her head.

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    #4

    This Always Makes Me Laugh

    This Always Makes Me Laugh

    atiredindian Report

    Michelle
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    As much as I don’t like a lot of PETAs ways of doing things, this reply did make me laugh

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    Sometimes, when we receive a biting remark, we might feel offended. Belina Raffy, a business improvisation consultant, said that negative comments usually come from a place of insecurity. So when it comes to your coworker who constantly tosses you rude remarks, remember that responding positively might ease the pressure and keep projects going smoothly. ”Positive witty comments build trust among colleagues, bosses and subordinates, and they can turn a formerly harsh environment into an accepting one,” Raffy said.

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    #5

    It Was Social Distancing Haha

    It Was Social Distancing Haha

    BelleAriel Report

    Raven Sheridan
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Clearly this person got their prehistoric knowledge from watching The Flintstones.

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    #6

    They Don't Give A Damn

    They Don't Give A Damn

    blaze_uchiha999 Report

    Kristin Burggraf
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Can I interest you in some fairtrade organic aloe for that... BURN?!?!?!

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    Another great tip would be silencing your inner critic: “It’s about letting go of the need to judge ourselves,” Raffy explains. You should try saying what's on your mind without thinking about it. In improv theater, actors try to let go of their inner voice and give in to their “deepest fantasies” in order to say something spontaneous that they would never say in real life.

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    #7

    Oof. That Burn Needs Some Love

    Oof. That Burn Needs Some Love

    BelleAriel Report

    Grumble O'Pug
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    *opens a GoFundMe for aloe vera purchases at Walgreens*

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    #8

    German History Lesson

    German History Lesson

    frncscbtncrt Report

    Me Me
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    - printing press - light bulb - telephone - tape recorder - turntable - mp3 - tv - first freely programmable computer - generator - automobile - jet engine - helicopter - jeans - toothpaste - periodic table of elements - theory of relativity - x-rays - nuclear fission - bacteriology - aspirin Just to name a few.

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    #9

    A Punchline From Twitter, Does This Count As A Meme?

    A Punchline From Twitter, Does This Count As A Meme?

    ClaireDacloush Report

    WHY
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    3 unskippable ads, all of which are 15 seconds long, making me forget what I actually wanted to watch

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    Let's not forget the brands that make clever comebacks a key part of their communication with customers. One obvious example is the fast-food chain Wendy's and their made-up social media holiday—National Roast Day. Their communications team does not hold back when it comes to witty replies in their social channels. The question is, do the customers actually value it?

    #10

    Someone Needs A Refresher On Anatomy

    Someone Needs A Refresher On Anatomy

    Firethorn101 Report

    Otter
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    So THAT'S how his wife explained all those kids, even if he never had sex with her while awake!

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    #11

    That's A Good Proof

    That's A Good Proof

    ekmadeye Report

    #12

    Got Roasted By A Police Twitter

    Got Roasted By A Police Twitter

    A_Tired_Indian Report

    Katherine Heasley
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It's so awful when the police murder someone like this.

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    A survey by Sprout Social suggests that such responses are actually not appreciated by customers. Brand personality should connect your product to its consumers but as it turns out, that's not always the case. Sprout surveyed 1,000 consumers on which traits they want brands to share on social media and what action behaviors like humor or friendliness cause.

    #13

    It Is Funny But True

    It Is Funny But True

    johnmory Report

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    #14

    Yep May Be It Is True

    Yep May Be It Is True

    johnmory Report

    Andy Acceber
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It's not illegal to seek asylum. Also, documented immigrants have lower rates of committing violent, property, or drug crimes than native-born citizens. Undocumented immigrants have rates even lower than them. The anti-immigrant, xenophobic fear-mongering that happens here is ridiculous and repulsive. Here's the research if anyone needs to educate friends or family: https://www.pnas.org/content/117/51/32340

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    #15

    Whatever Your Weakness, There's A Hellion To Exploit It

    Whatever Your Weakness, There's A Hellion To Exploit It

    free-whitebird Report

    River Webb
    Community Member
    4 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    do you think Jeff has anymore d*** rockets? I need to get off this planet, permanently

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    It seems that “three-quarters of consumers surveyed believe there’s value in brands exhibiting humor on social but only one-third actually want brands to bring on the snark full force.” The majority of consumers buy from brands that are honest, helpful and friendly. “It turns out that at the end of the day, consumers want brands to use social as a customer care channel”, Sprout explains. So while this kind of risky brand personality offers you a great deal of exposure, it seems that it's actually bad for business.

    #16

    Most Of Us Are Too

    Most Of Us Are Too

    PLASMABOLT111 Report

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    #17

    Elon Musk Gets Destroyed By Facts And Logic

    Elon Musk Gets Destroyed By Facts And Logic

    ZaackHunt Report

    Thundernight
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Space doesn't represent hope for me though-

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    #18

    Simple Math To Hard

    Simple Math To Hard

    uncle_russell_90 Report

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    Lastly, for a clever comeback to be considered great, it has to be honest. "The best retorts speak truth — when a person calls something that the other people didn't see," said Paul. "That's generally what makes us laugh." So if you think of a clever comeback that's piercingly accurate and say it right there on the spot, you feel absolutely great because you know that you've earned it.

    #19

    True Perfection Has Been Achieved

    True Perfection Has Been Achieved

    ekiechi Report

    Penelope
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This made me truly laugh out loud. Well done!

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    #20

    Old But Gold

    Old But Gold

    Y_Z_P Report

    Julie C Rose
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Congratulations to Australia for deporting her when she acted like a brat about quarantining.

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    #21

    Accessible Parking, But Only During Office Hours

    Accessible Parking, But Only During Office Hours

    LMF5000 Report

    Lyone Fein
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Daniel clearly has some disabilities of his own.

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    #22

    I Swear It Was On

    I Swear It Was On

    lucynyu13 Report

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    #23

    Jesus Statues vs. Police State

    Jesus Statues vs. Police State

    Pleasant-Force Report

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    #24

    Finnally A Manager Making A Comeback

    Finnally A Manager Making A Comeback

    KiRiT000000 Report

    ADHORTATOR
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    So did the English, but in France we did never regret it :-)

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    #25

    Found This While Browsing Instead Of Sleeping

    Found This While Browsing Instead Of Sleeping

    vermbraunt Report

    Raven Sheridan
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Ouch! Classical Greek burn. I take my hat off to you good sir! 🎩

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    #26

    Would You Like Some Whine With That?

    Would You Like Some Whine With That?

    BelleAriel Report

    Caro Caro
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Waaahaha, what a great answer. Wright got it right !

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    #27

    F*cking Sheep

    F*cking Sheep

    DaFunkJunkie Report

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    #28

    English Unchanged

    English Unchanged

    ComfortableNobody457 Report

    #29

    He Makes A Good Point

    He Makes A Good Point

    Sadlysoul Report

    #30

    Technically He Spoke Genders Into Existence Because By His Very Word He Can Create

    Technically He Spoke Genders Into Existence Because By His Very Word He Can Create

    johnmory Report

    Stefan
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I can imagine Darwin spitting his tea reading this.

    Samantha Lomb
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    He was actually pretty religious himself though

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    Sasy
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That is McRib if you don't mind...flicks hair.

    Lyone Fein
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    How does anyone presume to know the limits of "God's" creative powers?

    Tyler Six
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I mean it can be presumed he can't just create 2 of every animal in the world after the flood...or he can and he choose not to for...reasons...

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    tw 72
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Marjorie is completely pathetic and makes Americans look like totally selfish fools.

    Reynard
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    God didn't create any genders, however humans have created thousands of gods.

    Adrian
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    WRONG. One species, Schizophyllum commune, has more than 23,000 different sexual identities.

    Paula Kleski
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Lilith wasn't created from a rib. She was made in God's image as well!

    Lena Flising
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    So, what gender is a person with XXY? A person with XY whose body is insensitive to the Y part, and is born with a vagina and with testicles; is that a HE or a SHE? Either God made several genders, or God makes mistakes.

    Steve Fischer
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Greene is such a moron. Never met anyone more of a dumbass than the s**t that comes out of her mouth. Her ass has more intelligence than her head.

    Tyler Six
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    People just don't know about lilith...which is fair she was mentioned like once...

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    Paul Davis
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It's weird how many ultra-conservative women are working so hard to enslave themselves in a "Handmaiden" type society.

    echotheroyal
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    For y'all f*****s and fuckettes that think there are only two genders, let me explain. Gender and sex are different. You're thinking of sex which there are actually three of. You could be assigned male at birth, assigned female at birth, or intersex. Gender is a social construct, and it's been proven that there are lots more than two.

    Susan Widomski
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "Man was created in Our Image". Not from a rib.

    similarly
    Community Member
    4 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Kleinfelter's "syndrome" (quoted because I don't like the term), Swyer's "syndrome", De La Chapelle "syndrome", Guevedoces, 46XX/46XY mosaicism, 46XX/46XY chimerism, gynomastia, "ambiguous genitalia", and then just people who don't otherwise fit into a binary classification system. Kleinfelter's alone officially counts for 1 in 650 births, and is believed to be much, much more common, as many may have milder expressions of the genetic variation (I prefer to use the term "genetic variation" as opposed to "disorder" or "syndrome") and may not realize it. Gender is NOT a simple thing.

    Laura kelly
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I believe the word you mean to use is "sex". Gender is the social manifestation of sex.

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    Emo Sloth
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Can someone explain this please?

    Tobias Rieper
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    hold up unless i am mistaken then the person replying to OP is also female so its actually a self burn and is calling themselves a rib

    Stefan
    Community Member
    4 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    As there are two genders, you have 50% probability to be right !

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    JP
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Bwahahaha! Love this one!

    Daniel Marsh
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Allison Mickel apparently never read Genesis.

    Z Alexi
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Good for Allison...she's apparently not as dumb as Daniel Marsh who still believes science written 2,000+ yrs ago.

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    Tyler Six
    Community Member
    4 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Technially wrong since god also created adam's first gf lilith and after that didn't work out he made eve in lilith's image using adam's limb

    ZAPanda
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    sighhhhhhh... guess God didn't create these then. https://www.bbc.com/news/magazine-34290981

    Nylah
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    actually, gender is a bimodal distribution. this means there are two extreme ends and most people fall somewhere in between those extremes . google it.

    Lena Flising
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Male AND female he created them. If we are created in the image of God, God must be both male AND female. Perhaps that's why we all start off as females, and why we all have nipples?

    Miriam Boyce
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Adam was non binary before the rib thing and then assigned gender

    ILOVEBAMBOO
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    If God created only two genders...how do the others exist? He must've created them or they wouldn't be here, so...

    Lori
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yet he gave your brains to someone else.

    Kyan Q
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    hahahaha i actually told my Grandma this before whe we got into an arguement on how to switch an HDMI to AV

    Consequential_mishaps
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Wait till she finds out how the offspring of two people populated the earth but then again that may actually appeal to her.

    .kirsten./
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    God did create two genders, but with genetic disorders there are cases where one part may change the gender and they would be trans, but only by that mutation. I don’t get why people want to change genders on purpose…it’s just not right. And yes i’m prepared for people coming after me about this

    Rick Hoppenbrouwer
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Now that's a major burn even the dumbass will get.

    Chris D
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    not an expert, but didn't God create woman FROM that rib?

    Ryan Deschanel
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    He took the rib, then used it to create the second gender.

    Rob Bob
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That's a genius humorous comeback indeed. On the other hand, it does not mask the fact that current woke movement live in alternate reality with infinite number of genders in some fantasy world

    Z Alexi
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Greene's not worth 1 word. But Allison reads crap from the Fairy Tales guys wrote [& labeled it a holy book]. When we sequenced the genome, Mitochrondrial Eve proved that women were on earth 1st [you can't get a woman out of a guy]...& proved that it was a black woman [you can't get black from white~~only conversely]. STOP the "rib" lie. STOP calling god "he"...it's all supernatural horsepoop.

    Bored Batgirl
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Someone should tell her the Bible specifically mentions that it's possible to be born as an "eunuch".

    Z Alexi
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    A hermaphrodite? A eunuch is a MAN who's been castrated. Rare babies are born w/odd perineums but, today, they can be surgically corrected for both girls & boys. In tons of places, the bible is wrong...Is it "Turn the other cheek" or "An eye for an eye"? It can't be both. Where are the women in the bible? Nonexistent. Noah's wife had no name, neither did Lot's. MatthewMarkLukeJohn, et al.

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    ThEboRedEsTpANdA
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    No. If God exists he created two SEXES and many, many genders.

    AngelWingsYT
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yes god created 2 genders and ppl have the choice to choose or not choose 👍 god also created free will 😉

    Z Alexi
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Paleoanthropology is how humans evolved...god created nothing~~humans invented this myth & educated humans can stop this crap.

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    Seabeast
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Margarine looks more like a man. She really needs to lay off the steroids.

    Norah Reilly
    Community Member
    Premium
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Burn, baby, burn!

    NJWanderer
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This Rep. from GA is horrible. However what would DNA say ? To my knowledge there are only 3 combinations; xy, xx, and xxy. Please be civil.

    Jon S.
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    You also get xyy. And you get people whose chromosomal sex is not expressed physically. And all that is sex. Sex and gender mean different things. Gender is how you relate your sex to society. Gender is your haircut, your pronouns, your wardrobe, your choice of expression; none of it biologically determined, but adopted from your culture.

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    kjorn
    Community Member
    4 years ago

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    why the religious nuts are always THAT blonde?

    XSpooky_Mint
    Community Member
    4 years ago

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    Good thing I'm my own damn God then, ain't it?

    Russian Otaku
    Community Member
    4 years ago

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    So much compressed retardation in both lines

    Logic and Reason
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I can only assume you’re engaging in projection to alleviate the burden of your own impressive idiocy.

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    #31

    I Prayed For Help And God Sent Doctors With The Vaccine, I Said "No Thanks, I'm Waiting For God To Help Me"

    I Prayed For Help And God Sent Doctors With The Vaccine, I Said "No Thanks, I'm Waiting For God To Help Me"

    ChrisMMatthews Report

    Adrian
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    So, God sent doctors with vaccines which had been developed by other doctors using the brains God gave them, and you turned them all down. Wow!

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    #32

    One For The Burn Ward

    One For The Burn Ward

    My_Memes_Will_Cure_U Report

    Fred L.
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    A real shame; she has become such a nutcase.

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    #33

    Mindy Kaling Shuttin’ ‘Em Down

    Mindy Kaling Shuttin’ ‘Em Down

    needmemes Report

    Jess Thompson
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Mindy kalig is a highly underestimated genius

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    #34

    Not Sure What Is The Objective Is Here?

    Not Sure What Is The Objective Is Here?

    BelleAriel Report

    Trillian
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    99.9% of the people claiming something is "socialism" don't have any idea what socialism means

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    #35

    Nasa Is Untrustworthy

    Nasa Is Untrustworthy

    EstablishmentEast922 Report

    Nandina
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Ignorance is the absence of knowledge. Stupidity is the presence of knowledge and the refusal to use it. Paul Coelho

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    #36

    It Really Is The Churches Motto Tho

    It Really Is The Churches Motto Tho

    Adorable_Document665 Report

    GoodWolf
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Really? A pastor saying "show up acting stupid and find out if we have guns"?? WTF and I'm not even religious

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    #37

    The Real Deal

    The Real Deal

    BelleAriel Report

    River Webb
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    even if he stays out of the emergency room (which he should) he'll still impact others, either by transmitting the disease to the vulnerable or to spread misinformation.

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    #38

    She Seems So Dumb

    She Seems So Dumb

    prabhjyoth Report

    River Webb
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'll pay 38 dollars for a burrito if it means someone is able to pay their bills

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    #39

    I'm Not A Gamer For Nothing

    I'm Not A Gamer For Nothing

    Reasyx_ Report

    Little Wonder
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Also video games are fun, and there's no age limit on fun.

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    #40

    Why Do Some People Want Others To Have It Bad Cruz They Had ? Hope This Isn't Already Here

    Why Do Some People Want Others To Have It Bad Cruz They Had ? Hope This Isn't Already Here

    Ghanima81 Report

    River Webb
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    why is there such a big obsession with the military, I mean killing others or getting yourself killed is hardly a good thing

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    #41

    Look I Made A Joke

    Look I Made A Joke

    BelleAriel Report

    River Webb
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    you can't spell stupid without u, except this probably isn't a coincidence

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    #42

    Does Jlo Have A Reply To That?

    Does Jlo Have A Reply To That?

    drrhodium Report

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    #43

    In 1919 And 1920, At The Very Start Of His Career, Tolkien Worked On The Staff Of The Oxford English Dictionary; He Later Said Of This Time That He “.. Learned More In Those Two Years Than In Any Other Equal Period Of My Life”

    In 1919 And 1920, At The Very Start Of His Career, Tolkien Worked On The Staff Of The Oxford English Dictionary; He Later Said Of This Time That He “.. Learned More In Those Two Years Than In Any Other Equal Period Of My Life”

    TheDuhDuhMan Report

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    #44

    It Works Both Ways!

    It Works Both Ways!

    TelesticWarriorr Report

    River Webb
    Community Member
    4 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    honestly pack your bags and leave, save your husband the trouble

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    #45

    He Wants The Ring Please

    He Wants The Ring Please

    ameece24 Report

    Grumble O'Pug
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    You can slide off a door into oblivion, too.

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    #46

    Don’t Mistake Empathy For Weaknesses

    Don’t Mistake Empathy For Weaknesses

    BelleAriel Report

    beastmachine.
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I am pretty sure he didn't get who his father's son is...

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    #47

    Getting Schooled

    Getting Schooled

    DaFunkJunkie Report

    River Webb
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    how do people who barely managed a high school degree get into parliament?

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    #48

    Fake Incest Go!

    Fake Incest Go!

    ViperSniper1550 Report

    #49

    State Representative Got Owned!

    State Representative Got Owned!

    DeFoerest Report

    Tamra Stiffler
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It disgusts me to my core when adults use children to further their political or personal ideology.

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    #50

    He Really Went There

    He Really Went There

    HonestlySeymour , bazecraze Report

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    #51

    What He Say?

    What He Say?

    Joe_Black03 Report

    River Webb
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    he gave him the silent treatment afterwards

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    #52

    Well Played, The Almighty

    Well Played, The Almighty

    TheTrapKing2021 Report

    Marcellus II
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    When I hold hands with my partner, I always hold both hands. Very inconvenient and somewhat unusual, but hey I can't take the chance they're masturbating with the other.

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    #53

    Only In Santa Clarita

    Only In Santa Clarita

    BigbyDirewolf Report

    #54

    She Said Over Her Dead Body......

    She Said Over Her Dead Body......

    Master1718 Report

    Lord Mysticlaw
    Community Member
    4 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I probably shouldn't be laughing. But I am.

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    #55

    I Laughed Too Hard At This

    I Laughed Too Hard At This

    chickenman2359 Report

    Marcellus II
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    There's entire books written without specific letters. From 6th century BC to present, that kind of wordgames have been in French, English, Turkish, German, ... and it's called a https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lipogram

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    #56

    To Dress Up

    To Dress Up

    biscuitbutt11 Report

    A B C
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    24/7 sounds inconvenient. On the other hand, if you keep your suit on while having a shower, it'll wash out the creases from sleeping in it, right? /s

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    #57

    Stop Complaining

    Stop Complaining

    DerpyDuck51 Report

    #58

    Naked Truth

    Naked Truth

    yaki15 Report

    Spikey boi
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Ouch. That is a nasty racist comment down below. Ignore that and take a Kitten instead! 🐱🐱🐱

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    #59

    Eddie The Eagle

    Eddie The Eagle

    z3ri Report

    River Webb
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "now this young woman who has probably only jumped once in her life, will now be attempting the long jump! Look at her go, and she's made it! A full centimetre, a round of an applause for this fantastic lady!"

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    #61

    No, Not Like That!

    No, Not Like That!

    BelleAriel Report

    #62

    He Did Spell It Wrong

    He Did Spell It Wrong

    lilyeet0 Report

    Marcellus II
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    How did a "novelist" get an "Oxford comma" there!?

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    #64

    Screw Caitlyn Jennerule

    Screw Caitlyn Jennerule

    TheProgressiveReport Report

    Caro Caro
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That whole fu*king family needs to be canceled.

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    #66

    Family Problems

    Family Problems

    randomkid_2008 Report

    Robyn Jones
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    *Childhood trauma enters the chat* 😅

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    #67

    Friend Sent Me This Screen-Grab About “Alpha” Males Against Dating Trans Women And That Is One Hell Of A Burn

    Friend Sent Me This Screen-Grab About “Alpha” Males Against Dating Trans Women And That Is One Hell Of A Burn

    ActionOverLies Report

    River Webb
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    you'll need a fire brigade for that burn

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    #68

    Still Chasing That Dollar

    Still Chasing That Dollar

    ag425 Report

    Monday
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    For some context. This guy absolutely loves telling people he's the baby on the cover. He likes the attention and the reason behind the lawsuit was that he wanted more money.

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    #69

    A Pretty Thorough Demolition

    A Pretty Thorough Demolition

    the-dogsox Report

    Caro Caro
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    AOC always finds the right words for the worst burns.

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    #70

    There Was An Attempt

    There Was An Attempt

    kovopobg Report

    Grumble O'Pug
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I should have named my horse John Bon Pony!

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    #72

    When You Try To Act Smart Only To Be Told Off

    When You Try To Act Smart Only To Be Told Off

    reddit.com Report

    Penelope
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    1905 the Supreme Court backed a municipal mandate on the smallpox vaccination. Which is why smallpox isn’t currently a threat to these jackasses or their offspring.

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    #73

    He So Right

    He So Right

    L4993Rz Report

    Brendan Roberts
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    He's right - chimps are deeply uncivilised. They should follow one of our courtships: approach a girl, flirt with her a little, drop a pill in her drink, rape her, and then claim she was asking for it because she wore a short skirt.

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    #74

    Under An Ask Reddit Post, Holy Shit I Was Laughing For 20 Minutes

    Under An Ask Reddit Post, Holy Shit I Was Laughing For 20 Minutes

    SURGEFACE Report

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    #75

    When You Get Caught Being Stupid...

    When You Get Caught Being Stupid...

    randomkid_2008 Report

    River Webb
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    thats pointless, you can just use a canoe

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    #76

    “For Whom Cnn Won’t Cheerlead?!”

    “For Whom Cnn Won’t Cheerlead?!”

    bodyelectrick Report

    #77

    Roman Emperors, Hopefully This Title Is Long Enough

    Roman Emperors, Hopefully This Title Is Long Enough

    fftropstm Report

    Adam Jeff
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Legit question though, they are whiter than any Italian I've met

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    #78

    My Man Got Insulted Real Bad, Real Quick

    My Man Got Insulted Real Bad, Real Quick

    Gamer5046 Report

    XSpooky_Mint
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Some people were dropped as children, but this person clearly had a brick dropped on their head, repeatedly

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    #79

    Makes A Great Point

    Makes A Great Point

    turbo_nerd76 Report

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    #80

    “How This Millennial Paid Off His Student Loans By Playing Children’s Games”

    “How This Millennial Paid Off His Student Loans By Playing Children’s Games”

    BelleAriel Report

    #81

    Hey Jr, It’s “Father, ” Not “Fat Her”

    Hey Jr, It’s “Father, ” Not “Fat Her”

    butmuhfreedoms Report

    #82

    This Response To An Antivax Conspiracy Theorist

    This Response To An Antivax Conspiracy Theorist

    boostedgear1 Report

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    #83

    Did You Do Long Jump In High School?

    Did You Do Long Jump In High School?

    MurderousFaeries Report

    WilvanderHeijden
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "I think we do need stricter gun laws." "So now you're telling us you are anti constitution?"

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    #84

    I Love Ignorant Christians

    I Love Ignorant Christians

    buradly42 Report

    A B C
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That's just your average Reddit burn IMO, not a brilliant comeback.

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    #85

    You Broke-A** Willy Wonka

    You Broke-A** Willy Wonka

    WonderfulYoghurt3197 Report

    ZAPanda
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Ironic considering he attended an expensive highschool on the blood and backs and sweat of low-income south africans who built it.

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    #86

    Seriously Though, We Need To Get Our Hands On Those Lottery Numbers

    Seriously Though, We Need To Get Our Hands On Those Lottery Numbers

    nicholisd Report

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    #87

    Ohhhh Bitlife

    Ohhhh Bitlife

    Miaisfunladybuglover Report

    Max
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "No-one wants to be a dog." I mean, it depends on the dog. Mine seems to have a pretty good life.

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