ADVERTISEMENT

Have you ever thought of the best comeback only after it was too late? Right before bed, while taking a shower or standing in an elevator, you get your light-bulb moment: “Ahh, why didn't I think of it before?” The French even came up with a term for that, l'esprit de l'escalier—the spirit of the staircase—and it means that the perfect retort arises only when it doesn't matter anymore.

However, this does not apply to everyone. A select few have the superpower of coming up with snappy one-liners on the spot, and the r/CleverComebacks subreddit is the site to go for these legendary comments. As the moderators put it, “If someone just got shown up, this is the place to post it.“

So make sure to scroll down and upvote your favorite retorts! And if you can't get enough of snappy comebacks, make sure to check out Bored Panda's previous posts here, here and here.

#1

He Was Asking For It!

He Was Asking For It!

LittleJohnny_nutter Report

Add photo comments
POST
meinespammailadresse1 avatar
A B C
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

What a prick. I'm against violence, but that idiot was screaming for it.

pernille_dyre avatar
thomasrudd avatar
Thomas Rudd
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I have seen my fair share of pricks in my life, but you sir are the whole Cactus

suuspuusje avatar
Susie Elle
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

He shouldn't have been out during that time of day wearing what he was wearing.

donotreplytokjk avatar
Otter
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Finally, a case where the victim WAS asking to be assaulted!

eppetot avatar
Eppe
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That preacher has an odd way of expressing the teachings of Jesus about loving thy neigbour.

riggs688 avatar
Vee Dub
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If he really were preaching God's word and wishes surely God would have protected him, wouldn't He?

jgarza avatar
J Garza
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I guess he found out what it feels like to be attacked by "hard wood". (assuming the bat was a wooden one). Corny joke, I know.

zipperzaza avatar
Zaza
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Serves you right being in the wrong place at the wrong time. Not wearing any protective clothing and all. Should have prayed harder or this wouldn't have happened to you /s

miriam-renken avatar
MiriPanda
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

What a despicable human being. She should have hit him harder.

tw72 avatar
tw 72
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Another case of "One group of people (women) need to change their behavior because another group of people (men) won't change theirs." I have an idea: teach men that rape is wrong AND to defend a woman if they see it happening

benross_1 avatar
Ben Ross
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm a Christian and, if she didn't do that, I would have!

kleski-paula avatar
Paula Kleski
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

He's a preacher?? Hopefully she knocked some sense into him.... I doubt it!

justanaveragecurly avatar
alex
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

why would anyone think carrying a pro-rape sign would be acceptable

gabrielshultz avatar
Orange is aging
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I’d do it as many times as I would have to (a LOT of times)

bzap724 avatar
Mz Phit
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That asshole is a regular fixture on our local University campus. He spends his days harassing anyone who walks by. Totally deserved to be beat up- really needs to be locked up for good

lazarou_lazarou avatar
Tavi-The-Taboo (He-They)
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Okay. My life plan is to open a church. Where the pastor is part of the lgbtq and everyone's welcome with no hate or negativity. The only people not aloud are homophobes. Trans phones. And animal abuse/hater's

marissa_taylor avatar
Marissa Taylor
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm a christan and i'd like to saw we don't know this man soo batter up bitch!

iamthebest1982 avatar
Tobias Rieper
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

i love it the perfect comeback using their own logic against them let me try people with no money deserve to be given lots of it

edisonlima avatar
Edison Lima
Community Member
9 months ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That wouldn't have happened to him if he were at Church praying to Jesus or cooking to his man, instead of being out in the streets at that hour, dressed like that!

groovychick200024 avatar
Mon Smith
Community Member
9 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Things like this make me angry and sad. It’s why people are so against christianity, no one ever deserves to be raped whether you are a christian or not.

mwilliams2024 avatar
Kyan Q
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

that is gross eevrybody needs to realize no matter what rape is rape no matter if you are man or woman and what he was holding is gross no one deserves it

kayrose avatar
RoseTheMad
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I hope the baseball bat had lots of nice rusty nails stuck in it. :3

deborahpadgett avatar
Deborah Padgett
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That asshole got off way too easy. He should have been raped and see what it feels like to "deserve" it.

juniorcj82 avatar
JuniorCJ82
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Someone should have held him down, ripped off his pants and undergarments, and dealt with him.

stevefischer avatar
Steve Fischer
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Baseball bat is used to hitting balls. That's where she should have hit him. Another good reason to ban organized religion.

juliavo_1 avatar
juliy
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

i hope he has serious permanent damage that affects every part of his life

dlellis avatar
David Ellis
Community Member
7 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Violence is never the answer, but sure has heck can be a solution. He was also supporting the violence of rape. Not a great thinker eh?

blw44 avatar
Betty Walker
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

bighuck1972 avatar
Sloane Christopher
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

So she was arrested for attempted murder right because that is assault with a deadly weapon.

hop4me234 avatar
Rick Hoppenbrouwer
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Can't say I feel sorry for him at all. God should have saved him. Guess not.

jmdirks avatar
jmdirks
Community Member
2 years ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

The thing is you dweebs actually believe this happened.

bzap724 avatar
Mz Phit
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It did. It's on record. He is still screaming his hateful bs on campus daily. You dweeb

Load More Replies...
jmdirks avatar
jmdirks
Community Member
2 years ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

The thing is that you dweebs actually believe this garbage.

swizdom2 avatar
Susan Widomski
Community Member
2 years ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

Violence is not the answer. What if he died and she ended up in prison? What are the chances of her not being raped in prison?

truthmonster00 avatar
Truth Monster
Community Member
2 years ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

Attacking people because they are saying stupid and mean things is still assault.

kc-siemens avatar
OJ
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

it’s not “stupid and mean” it’s violent and very threatening

Load More Replies...
regnwyn avatar
Rei
Community Member
2 years ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

As a Jesus follower I am truly embarassed by this person and really sorry for everyone who had to read his sign... however, the woman's reaction of violence didn't solve anything but only further increased hostility.

davidcrozier avatar
NJWanderer
Community Member
2 years ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

Sorry, bad speech does not justify assault with a deadly weapon.

View More Replies...
View more commentsArrow down menu

If you'd like to share a post on the “Clever Comebacks“ subreddit page, there's a few rules you need to follow. Firstly, you should know what a witty comment is. According to the moderators, it's “responses to someone that, for lack of a better word, roasts them.” Also, baseless insults, tasteless jokes, “no, u” style replies are what they call garbage content, and nobody likes them.

When you think about it, the only obvious goal when trying to think of a snappy comeback is to get a good laugh and share your original thought. And the same applies to real-life situations. If you hate those awkward moments when your friends or coworkers throw you a snide comment and everything that comes to your mind just sounds lame, don't worry. In real life, not many people can be as clever as Dr. House or Chandler Bing, but there's a few ways you can improve your reactions and become wittier.

One of the things that could make you better is the world of improv acting. When it comes to showing your wit, timing is everything. The reply should be as spontaneous as the words that took you by surprise. One way of improving would be to become a better active listener. As Abigail Paul, workshop facilitator and training developer, told the BBC, “people think faster than others speak, giving the listener “extra time“ to compose an answer, even while they give the appearance of still listening to what the other person is saying.”

ADVERTISEMENT

Come to think of it, there have been many times when we already wanted to share an idea with the person who's not yet finished talking. “Most of us don't listen to the whole message,” Paul said, “we are just waiting to make our own points.” So if you want to whip out snappy remarks, you should actively listen to what the other person is saying and use the unexpected material she or he gave you.

#3

Not Be A Baby Machine

Not Be A Baby Machine

lucynyu13 Report

Add photo comments
POST
meinespammailadresse1 avatar
A B C
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

"the transformed wife"? "godly womanhood"? Gosh, that lady is so brainwashed, it's sparkling inside her head.

View More Replies...
View more commentsArrow down menu
#4

This Always Makes Me Laugh

This Always Makes Me Laugh

atiredindian Report

Add photo comments
POST
michelle_a_jones avatar
Michelle
Community Member
7 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

As much as I don’t like a lot of PETAs ways of doing things, this reply did make me laugh

View more commentsArrow down menu

Sometimes, when we receive a biting remark, we might feel offended. Belina Raffy, a business improvisation consultant, said that negative comments usually come from a place of insecurity. So when it comes to your coworker who constantly tosses you rude remarks, remember that responding positively might ease the pressure and keep projects going smoothly. ”Positive witty comments build trust among colleagues, bosses and subordinates, and they can turn a formerly harsh environment into an accepting one,” Raffy said.

#5

It Was Social Distancing Haha

It Was Social Distancing Haha

BelleAriel Report

Add photo comments
POST
raven_sheridan14 avatar
Raven Sheridan
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Clearly this person got their prehistoric knowledge from watching The Flintstones.

View More Replies...
View more commentsArrow down menu
#6

They Don't Give A Damn

They Don't Give A Damn

blaze_uchiha999 Report

Add photo comments
POST
ksbressler avatar
Kristin Burggraf
Community Member
9 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Can I interest you in some fairtrade organic aloe for that... BURN?!?!?!

View more commentsArrow down menu
ADVERTISEMENT

Another great tip would be silencing your inner critic: “It’s about letting go of the need to judge ourselves,” Raffy explains. You should try saying what's on your mind without thinking about it. In improv theater, actors try to let go of their inner voice and give in to their “deepest fantasies” in order to say something spontaneous that they would never say in real life.

#7

German History Lesson

German History Lesson

frncscbtncrt Report

Add photo comments
POST
acrazyone avatar
Me Me
Community Member
3 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

- printing press - light bulb - telephone - tape recorder - turntable - mp3 - tv - first freely programmable computer - generator - automobile - jet engine - helicopter - jeans - toothpaste - periodic table of elements - theory of relativity - x-rays - nuclear fission - bacteriology - aspirin Just to name a few.

View more commentsArrow down menu
#8

Oof. That Burn Needs Some Love

Oof. That Burn Needs Some Love

BelleAriel Report

ADVERTISEMENT
#9

Someone Needs A Refresher On Anatomy

Someone Needs A Refresher On Anatomy

Firethorn101 Report

Add photo comments
POST
donotreplytokjk avatar
Otter
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

So THAT'S how his wife explained all those kids, even if he never had sex with her while awake!

View More Replies...
View more commentsArrow down menu

Let's not forget the brands that make clever comebacks a key part of their communication with customers. One obvious example is the fast-food chain Wendy's and their made-up social media holiday—National Roast Day. Their communications team does not hold back when it comes to witty replies in their social channels. The question is, do the customers actually value it?

#10

A Punchline From Twitter, Does This Count As A Meme?

A Punchline From Twitter, Does This Count As A Meme?

ClaireDacloush Report

Add photo comments
POST
ADVERTISEMENT
#12

Got Roasted By A Police Twitter

Got Roasted By A Police Twitter

A_Tired_Indian Report

A survey by Sprout Social suggests that such responses are actually not appreciated by customers. Brand personality should connect your product to its consumers but as it turns out, that's not always the case. Sprout surveyed 1,000 consumers on which traits they want brands to share on social media and what action behaviors like humor or friendliness cause.

#14

Yep May Be It Is True

Yep May Be It Is True

johnmory Report

Add photo comments
POST
queeronabike avatar
Andy Acceber
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It's not illegal to seek asylum. Also, documented immigrants have lower rates of committing violent, property, or drug crimes than native-born citizens. Undocumented immigrants have rates even lower than them. The anti-immigrant, xenophobic fear-mongering that happens here is ridiculous and repulsive. Here's the research if anyone needs to educate friends or family: https://www.pnas.org/content/117/51/32340

View More Replies...
View more commentsArrow down menu
#15

Whatever Your Weakness, There's A Hellion To Exploit It

Whatever Your Weakness, There's A Hellion To Exploit It

free-whitebird Report

Add photo comments
POST
qahtanrama avatar
River Webb
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

do you think Jeff has anymore d*** rockets? I need to get off this planet, permanently

View More Replies...
View more commentsArrow down menu

It seems that “three-quarters of consumers surveyed believe there’s value in brands exhibiting humor on social but only one-third actually want brands to bring on the snark full force.” The majority of consumers buy from brands that are honest, helpful and friendly. “It turns out that at the end of the day, consumers want brands to use social as a customer care channel”, Sprout explains. So while this kind of risky brand personality offers you a great deal of exposure, it seems that it's actually bad for business.

#16

Most Of Us Are Too

Most Of Us Are Too

PLASMABOLT111 Report

ADVERTISEMENT
#17

Elon Musk Gets Destroyed By Facts And Logic

Elon Musk Gets Destroyed By Facts And Logic

ZaackHunt Report

Lastly, for a clever comeback to be considered great, it has to be honest. "The best retorts speak truth — when a person calls something that the other people didn't see," said Paul. "That's generally what makes us laugh." So if you think of a clever comeback that's piercingly accurate and say it right there on the spot, you feel absolutely great because you know that you've earned it.

#19

True Perfection Has Been Achieved

True Perfection Has Been Achieved

ekiechi Report

#20

Old But Gold

Old But Gold

Y_Z_P Report

Add photo comments
POST
julie_rose_translator avatar
Julie C Rose
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Congratulations to Australia for deporting her when she acted like a brat about quarantining.

View More Replies...
View more commentsArrow down menu
#21

Accessible Parking, But Only During Office Hours

Accessible Parking, But Only During Office Hours

LMF5000 Report

#24

Finnally A Manager Making A Comeback

Finnally A Manager Making A Comeback

KiRiT000000 Report

ADVERTISEMENT
#25

Found This While Browsing Instead Of Sleeping

Found This While Browsing Instead Of Sleeping

vermbraunt Report

#26

Would You Like Some Whine With That?

Would You Like Some Whine With That?

BelleAriel Report

#30

Technically He Spoke Genders Into Existence Because By His Very Word He Can Create

Technically He Spoke Genders Into Existence Because By His Very Word He Can Create

johnmory Report

#31

I Prayed For Help And God Sent Doctors With The Vaccine, I Said "No Thanks, I'm Waiting For God To Help Me"

I Prayed For Help And God Sent Doctors With The Vaccine, I Said "No Thanks, I'm Waiting For God To Help Me"

ChrisMMatthews Report

Add photo comments
POST
adrianhobbs0 avatar
Adrian
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

So, God sent doctors with vaccines which had been developed by other doctors using the brains God gave them, and you turned them all down. Wow!

View more commentsArrow down menu
#33

Mindy Kaling Shuttin’ ‘Em Down

Mindy Kaling Shuttin’ ‘Em Down

needmemes Report

#34

Not Sure What Is The Objective Is Here?

Not Sure What Is The Objective Is Here?

BelleAriel Report

Add photo comments
POST
zora24_1 avatar
Trillian
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

99.9% of the people claiming something is "socialism" don't have any idea what socialism means

View More Replies...
View more commentsArrow down menu
See Also on Bored Panda
#35

Nasa Is Untrustworthy

Nasa Is Untrustworthy

EstablishmentEast922 Report

Add photo comments
POST
nandinabee avatar
Nandina
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Ignorance is the absence of knowledge. Stupidity is the presence of knowledge and the refusal to use it. Paul Coelho

View More Replies...
View more commentsArrow down menu
#36

It Really Is The Churches Motto Tho

It Really Is The Churches Motto Tho

Adorable_Document665 Report

Add photo comments
POST
cwolf1 avatar
GoodWolf
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Really? A pastor saying "show up acting stupid and find out if we have guns"?? WTF and I'm not even religious

View More Replies...
View more commentsArrow down menu
#37

The Real Deal

The Real Deal

BelleAriel Report

Add photo comments
POST
qahtanrama avatar
River Webb
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

even if he stays out of the emergency room (which he should) he'll still impact others, either by transmitting the disease to the vulnerable or to spread misinformation.

View More Replies...
View more commentsArrow down menu
#38

She Seems So Dumb

She Seems So Dumb

prabhjyoth Report

Add photo comments
POST
qahtanrama avatar
River Webb
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'll pay 38 dollars for a burrito if it means someone is able to pay their bills

View More Replies...
View more commentsArrow down menu
#39

Why Do Some People Want Others To Have It Bad Cruz They Had ? Hope This Isn't Already Here

Why Do Some People Want Others To Have It Bad Cruz They Had ? Hope This Isn't Already Here

Ghanima81 Report

Add photo comments
POST
qahtanrama avatar
River Webb
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

why is there such a big obsession with the military, I mean killing others or getting yourself killed is hardly a good thing

View More Replies...
View more commentsArrow down menu
#40

I'm Not A Gamer For Nothing

I'm Not A Gamer For Nothing

Reasyx_ Report

#41

Look I Made A Joke

Look I Made A Joke

BelleAriel Report

Add photo comments
POST
qahtanrama avatar
River Webb
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

you can't spell stupid without u, except this probably isn't a coincidence

View More Replies...
View more commentsArrow down menu
#42

Does Jlo Have A Reply To That?

Does Jlo Have A Reply To That?

drrhodium Report

#43

In 1919 And 1920, At The Very Start Of His Career, Tolkien Worked On The Staff Of The Oxford English Dictionary; He Later Said Of This Time That He “.. Learned More In Those Two Years Than In Any Other Equal Period Of My Life”

In 1919 And 1920, At The Very Start Of His Career, Tolkien Worked On The Staff Of The Oxford English Dictionary; He Later Said Of This Time That He “.. Learned More In Those Two Years Than In Any Other Equal Period Of My Life”

TheDuhDuhMan Report

#44

It Works Both Ways!

It Works Both Ways!

TelesticWarriorr Report

Add photo comments
POST
qahtanrama avatar
River Webb
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

honestly pack your bags and leave, save your husband the trouble

View More Replies...
View more commentsArrow down menu
See Also on Bored Panda
#45

He Wants The Ring Please

He Wants The Ring Please

ameece24 Report

#46

Don’t Mistake Empathy For Weaknesses

Don’t Mistake Empathy For Weaknesses

BelleAriel Report

#47

Getting Schooled

Getting Schooled

DaFunkJunkie Report

Add photo comments
POST
qahtanrama avatar
River Webb
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

how do people who barely managed a high school degree get into parliament?

View More Replies...
View more commentsArrow down menu
#49

State Representative Got Owned!

State Representative Got Owned!

DeFoerest Report

Add photo comments
POST
tamrastiffler avatar
Tamra Stiffler
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It disgusts me to my core when adults use children to further their political or personal ideology.

View More Replies...
View more commentsArrow down menu
#50

We Need No Masks Because Viruses Are Not Real

We Need No Masks Because Viruses Are Not Real

suchetan Report

#51

Not Sure If This Has Been Posted Here Yet, Sorry If It Has Been

Not Sure If This Has Been Posted Here Yet, Sorry If It Has Been

The_Great_Pancake Report

Add photo comments
POST
suuspuusje avatar
Susie Elle
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I don't understand how forcing existing characters to be queer is a sign of inclusion. To me that's like making a Jane Bond and giving yourself a pat on the shoulder for being so inclusive.

View More Replies...
View more commentsArrow down menu

Note: this post originally had 88 images. It’s been shortened to the top 51 images based on user votes.