50 Funny And Painfully True Memes That Anyone Who’s “30 And Tired” Might Understand Perfectly (New Pics)

Two old men were talking. The first one said, " It's terrible. I pee every morning around six, and have a bowel movement every morning around seven." The second one asks, "What's so terrible about that?" First guy answers, "I don't wake up until eight!"

that's not to bad.. you could give the the plants in the garden little more nutrients from it. Needs mixing with water before, read before peeing straight into the garden :)

There's gotta be something in the water nowadays 😕

Ah yes. The energy to get up to pee when I would much rather be sitting on the couch. Then, since I'm up anyway, may as well clean up a bit.

ikr!

This. But then I'll just need to pee a bunch so best I stay sitting upright and re-watching The Labrynth with the late, great David Bowie for the 1213th time.

Nooooo, 20 years ago was the 80s of course

Just the other day, someone said to me "10 years ago..." and I said "Oh, you mean 1990?" and he said "No, that would be 1993" - so he gets me !!!

I feel kind of relieved that other people experience that as well.

I do that and I wasn't even alive in the 20th century.

Lol, yes.

This is weird, true and I've never thought about it before.

That's because at that point its no longer about threats to airline corporate assets and is only a threat to individual passenger belongings, and no one gives a f**k about you as an individual.

I have been to a couple of airports over the years where they staple a numbered ticket to each piece of baggage you check to your boarding pass envelope (and corresponding stickers on the luggage) and at the other end they check to make your the bag(s) you are taking matches the numbered stubs you were given. But those were exceptions not the norm.

Just take a bag, any bag, and get out

When I make plans now I instantly regret them

The me who makes plans really hates the me who has to go to them

Funny thing, 50% of westerners seem to be the one extreme, 50% the other

This is so me!

ME!! When did I start to hate life like this?!?!

Don't dress the same, fo sho. Work me has earrings, mascara and cute blazers. Home me has jam on her cheek and a mysterious stain on her sneakers.

Work me has a bra, outside me has a shirt that no one can tell there's no bra, home is absolutely no bra.

Once had a neighbor I'd only met very briefly. Everytime she left her apartment, she looked different, so I thought 3 or 4 different women were living there. Mentioned her roommate to her one time and she was completely confused. 🤣

I have 3 looks, and that's it: work, formal, and homeless.

For reals 🤣

This is why I don't buy anything that says those forbidden words.

I've had plenty of things that say "dry clean only" that have survived my washing/laundry machine just fine.

At-home dry cleaning kits are the best for this (a spray for stains, throw it in the dryer with a dry-cleaning wipe, boom! Done)

or as my daughter used to say "Just spray it with Febreeze."

TheGoodBoi

TheGoodBoi

Community Member • points

posts

comments

upvotes

FollowUnfollow

Premium

Premium user. Get details.

My washer, dryer, and myself all laugh in unison after I've read this aloud.

Same here

My bank deducts the pending payment from my available balance. But I hate how Amazon does their payment. My check out amount was 200.00 why do they have to take 20 here, 40 there and so on, just take it all at once. I know this has to do with their shipping but its still annoying,

Yes.

Let me suffer. I deserve it, after everything I’ve done to myself.

Wells Fargo I’m looking at you with the staggered deposits and ranked payments! I HATE WELLS FARGO. Whew! This triggered me something awful 😞

LOL I can so relate. My husband;s butt is glued to the couch until I'm in the kitchen and then suddenly he has an important story to tell me that he must make eye contact with me and grab some ice tea. GET OUT!