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We all have different expectations in life. Some people are happy with the basics. Others believe you should be treated like absolute royalty - and honestly, neither is wrong. But when it comes to relationships, things get especially blurry. What one person calls “the bare minimum,” someone else might see as full-on princess treatment.

So where do you draw the line? In this poll, you’ll see 26 everyday relationship acts that people love to debate. Your job is simple: decide what counts as real effort and what shouldn’t be getting a medal.

And if you’re in the mood to judge even more dating moments, you can check out Part 2 here - because apparently, we all have very strong opinions about romance. 💬💖

🚀 💡 Want more or looking for something else? Head over to the Bored Panda Quizzes and explore our full collection of quizzes and trivia designed to test your knowledge, reveal hidden insights, and spark your curiosity.💡 🚀

This post may include affiliate links.

#1

Bringing Her Soup When She’s Sick

Bowl of tomato-based soup garnished with fresh herbs and served with a sesame breadstick on wooden table.

Valeria Boltneva Report

3points
POST
alexia_1 avatar
Alexia
Alexia
Community Member
6 days ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Taking care of your partner when s/he is sick is not just bare minimum. It's common sense.

15
15points
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    #2

    Complimenting Her Regularly

    Various hands applauding under the word compliments, related to dating gestures and minimal effort in relationships.

    The Art of Fatherhood Report

    2points
    POST
    deehampton77 avatar
    Dee Hampton
    Dee Hampton
    Community Member
    6 days ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Compliments are best when spontaneous. Don't keep a tally like you're scoring for a cricket match.

    9
    9points
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    #3

    Letting Her Vent Without Trying To “Fix” It

    A couple sitting on a couch having a serious conversation about dating gestures and relationship expectations.

    RDNE Stock project Report

    1point
    POST
    alexia_1 avatar
    Alexia
    Alexia
    Community Member
    6 days ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That should depend on the situation. If she just had a bad day, it's ok to vent. But in some cases the partner might need to step in: for ex., if she repeatedly complains about a health problem, that's not something to vent about. Get her to a doctor.

    7
    7points
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    #4

    Holding Hands In Public

    Couple holding hands outdoors, wearing winter coats, illustrating dating gestures and relationship connection.

    Yan Krukau Report

    1point
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    #5

    Giving Her Your Seat When There Aren’t Enough

    Airplane seatbelt clasp resting on a brown and gray leather seat, symbolizing minimal dating gestures to accept.

    Kelly Report

    1point
    POST
    gregorygarcia avatar
    Ye Olde Dirty Grumpy
    Ye Olde Dirty Grumpy
    Community Member
    6 days ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Is she pregnant, or an olympian.if shes 25 and fit, you can both stand

    4
    4points
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    #6

    Letting Her Control The Music In The Car Every Time

    Car dashboard with music player screen and person holding a phone, illustrating dating gestures in modern relationships.

    Viralyft Report

    0points
    POST
    alexia_1 avatar
    Alexia
    Alexia
    Community Member
    6 days ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Why would you need to "control every time"? Can't you just agree on something you both like?

    15
    15points
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    #7

    Opening Bottles/Jars For Her

    Jars of preserved food lined up on a rustic shelf, symbolizing thoughtful dating gestures and meaningful care.

    Dale Jackson Report

    0points
    POST
    jen_mccartney avatar
    Jenka666
    Jenka666
    Community Member
    6 days ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I mean, sometimes we are just not strong enough

    10
    10points
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    #8

    Remembering Her Friends’ Names And Drama

    Group of women enjoying drinks in vineyard, illustrating dating gestures and social connection beyond the bare minimum.

    Nano Erdozain Report

    0points
    POST
    hea_c avatar
    StrangeOne
    StrangeOne
    Community Member
    6 days ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Names should be a given, but I don't know many guys who care about drama.

    20
    20points
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    #9

    Waiting With Her While She Shops

    Woman browsing white shirts in a modern store, reflecting on dating gestures and whether we accept the bare minimum

    Ron Lach Report

    0points
    POST
    mm_49 avatar
    M M
    M M
    Community Member
    6 days ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I don't get the idea of dragging a partner to shop when he doesn't want to shop anything for himself. We have a safe word for when we start to run low on energy so we can split or leave without feeling guilty.

    9
    9points
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    #10

    Telling Her She’s Pretty When She Says She Isn’t

    Curved black text on white background reading you are really pretty representing dating gestures and the bare minimum.

    After Rain Report

    0points
    POST
    deehampton77 avatar
    Dee Hampton
    Dee Hampton
    Community Member
    6 days ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "You look pretty", "No I don't", "You really do", "No I don't"

    2
    2points
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    #11

    Checking If She’s Cold Or Hungry

    Young woman wrapped in a blanket sitting on a couch, reflecting on dating gestures and relationship expectations.

    Pavel Danilyuk Report

    0points
    POST
    jen_mccartney avatar
    Jenka666
    Jenka666
    Community Member
    6 days ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Can we just say when we’re cold or hungry?

    16
    16points
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    #12

    Planning Surprise Date Nights

    Romantic beach dining setup at sunset with candles and palm trees, illustrating meaningful dating gestures.

    suzukii xingfu Report

    -1point
    POST
    apatheistaccount2 avatar
    Apatheist
    Apatheist
    Community Member
    6 days ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Only if she likes surprises. My wife would hate that.

    16
    16points
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    #13

    Walking Slower To Match Her Pace

    Couple holding hands and walking outdoors, illustrating dating gestures and relationship dynamics discussion.

    Ron Lach Report

    -1point
    POST
    moyamcbride avatar
    MoMcB
    MoMcB
    Community Member
    6 days ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Other way round, my husband walks with a stick, so I slow to match him- it’s a bare minimum.

    6
    6points
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    #14

    Paying For Her Uber

    Close-up of a car with a glowing Uber sign, illustrating modern dating gestures and ride-sharing culture.

    Erik Mclean Report

    -1point
    POST
    kittydeviance avatar
    Kitty Deviance™
    Kitty Deviance™
    Community Member
    2 days ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    she knew how much it would cost, she should've known she would have to have the money to pay for it, so she shouldn't expect him to pay for it...the end

    0
    0points
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    #15

    Apologizing First To Keep The Peace

    The word sorry spelled out on cards next to pink flowers, relating to dating gestures and apologies.

    Vie Studio Report

    -1point
    POST
    viccig avatar
    V
    V
    Community Member
    6 days ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Department on the situation. Are you wrong? Even if it's a situation where both of you are wrong one person has to bite the bullet and apologise first.

    5
    5points
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    #16

    Letting Her Go Through Doors First

    Young woman in a leather jacket opening a door, illustrating dating gestures and questioning accepting the bare minimum in relationships

    cottonbro studio Report

    -1point
    POST
    naschi avatar
    Na Schi
    Na Schi
    Community Member
    Premium     6 days ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I hate it to go through the door first, especially when getting into a room with lots of people I barely or font know! Because everyone immediately are focusing on you and you have no time to read the room and prepare, meanwhile my man behind me gets the extra 10 seconds to make an eloquent entrance. Luckily it happens now only rarely that I'm the one who is pushed to enter first, as I clearly communicate my disdain about tis.

    4
    4points
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    #17

    Sharing Your Location With Her

    Person holding smartphone showing map, symbolizing navigation and dating gestures acceptance in modern relationships.

    RDNE Stock project Report

    -1point
    POST
    anneroberts avatar
    Anne Roberts
    Anne Roberts
    Community Member
    5 days ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I am not a fan of phone tracking unless it's a child or they have a handicap.

    4
    4points
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    #18

    Making Tea When She’s Tired

    Tea cup with a tea infuser on a lace doily over old pages, creating a cozy setting for dating gestures discussion.

    betül nur akyürek Report

    -1point
    POST
    mike_139 avatar
    GOZ
    GOZ
    Community Member
    6 days ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I wish there were a few more options in the poll. Some people don't like tea. I can't carry my wife across puddles, Some people don't like to be the first one entering a room, etc. I'd like a N/A or "other" choice, cause somethings are not well defined in life.

    13
    13points
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    #19

    Letting Her Steal Your Fries Without Complaining

    Basket of golden French fries with ketchup serving, highlighting simple yet satisfying dating gestures and choices.

    卜 兰 Report

    -2points
    POST
    deehampton77 avatar
    Dee Hampton
    Dee Hampton
    Community Member
    6 days ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I am surprised no-one has quoted "Joey doesn't share food!" Maybe I'm the only one here that remembers the '90s. Maybe I'm the only one here that thinks the '90s were about 5 mins ago!

    7
    7points
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    #20

    Carrying Her Over Puddles/Mud

    Couple enjoying playful moment outdoors, symbolizing dating gestures and exploring relationship dynamics in modern dating.

    klimkin Report

    -2points
    POST
    deehampton77 avatar
    Dee Hampton
    Dee Hampton
    Community Member
    6 days ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I don't want to give my husband a hernia

    17
    17points
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    #21

    Driving Her Instead Of Letting Her Take Public Transport

    Two people sitting in a car engaging in intimate gestures, highlighting dating gestures and relationship connection.

    Danik Prihodko Report

    -2points
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    #22

    Remembering Small Details From Months Ago

    A couple sharing a joyful moment indoors, highlighting dating gestures and questioning the acceptance of the bare minimum.

    Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer Report

    -3points
    POST
    moyamcbride avatar
    MoMcB
    MoMcB
    Community Member
    6 days ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    In which context? My ex remembered every argument- he’d have argued in an empty room- and he dragged them up, over and over, including that I didn’t like Coldplay’s “Fix You”, over and sodding over.

    0
    0points
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    #23

    Putting Her Picture As Your Phone Wallpaper

    A hand holding a smartphone with a blank screen, representing dating gestures and communication in the digital age.

    KATRIN BOLOVTSOVA Report

    -4points
    POST
    barrylittle avatar
    Phantom Phoenix
    Phantom Phoenix
    Community Member
    Premium     6 days ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That's what pics of pets are for

    13
    13points
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    #24

    Ordering Two Drinks So She Can Taste Both And Choose Her Favorite

    Two colorful cocktails on a table symbolizing dating gestures and questioning accepting the bare minimum in relationships.

    Arina Krasnikova Report

    -4points
    POST
    beebe2112 avatar
    Grape Walls of Ire
    Grape Walls of Ire
    Community Member
    6 days ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It's princess treatment, but I'll do it anyway.

    5
    5points
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    #25

    Refilling Her Water

    Person in mustard sweater pouring water into a glass, illustrating simple dating gestures and minimal effort.

    cottonbro studio Report

    -4points
    POST
    ttirreg avatar
    ttirreg
    ttirreg
    Community Member
    6 days ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    W*f is going on? Private butler... hell no

    5
    5points
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    #26

    Letting Her Win Arguments In Public

    Couple having a serious conversation outdoors, illustrating common dating gestures and relationship communication.

    RDNE Stock project Report

    -6points
    POST
    armacarmac avatar
    Armac
    Armac
    Community Member
    Premium     6 days ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Or be civilised and don’t have arguments in public.

    30
    30points
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